Thank you so much for your replies. The good news is my employer is being very supportive and it looks like I'm dropping to 3 days at least until this latest surgery is over. It's been tricky on a fixed term contract as I didn't start that long ago and feel like a right liability!
I'm putting so much pressure on myself to be the person I was and I need to give myself a break!
I'm definitely going to look into some counselling. My partner has been really supportive but even he seems at a loss now.
Hi lfaye, you are going through a lot at the moment and need to do what's right for you and your health.
You don't say what your personal position is - do you live on your own? How will you cope on less money? However if your contract is coming to an end the outcome is the same.
You need to check the terms of your contract, is it for 15 or 30 hours? If it's for 30 your employer may not allow you to reduce hours - technically you wouldn't be fulfilling the terms of your contract if you reduce hours. But if there's a chance of the contact being extended you may be ok.
From an employment point of view it's complicated, you are protected under the equality for disability act, but it would be difficult to prove that the employer is not extending your contract because of your illness rather than because it's fixed term.
It is definitely worth seeking employment advice as Ann suggested. It also sounds like you could do with some counselling. It took me ages to get to the top of the NHS counselling list but you may find that a local hospice or Macmillan provides this service or a support group where you can air your feelings.
It's a very tough thing to go through, especially when you think it's all better and then have another scare. Look after yourself and put you first x
hi Lfaye, Sorry to hear what you're going through, its so difficult when others dont get it. You are going through a lot with more uncertainty on top, so its not surprising you feel the way you do, especially as you're going through it all again. You are not a failure, just going through some difficult stuff, that's all. If you think its the right thing to do, maybe dropping hours might help as it would give you more space until this is resolved. Also, there is employment advice here or on the macmillan site which may be worth looking at. It will move on & wishing you all the best ann x
I found a lump in April 2016 and was diagnosed with a malignant phyllodes tumour a few months later, aged 26. I had 2 lumpectomies and 5 weeks of rads, which finished early Nov.
I'm in a unique position as malignant phyllodes are incredibly rare so have very limited info available to me. When I found the lump and after my first lumpectomy my previous employer were awful so I left to focus on getting better.
I started a new job in Dec16, originally applied for 15hrs but ended up on 30hrs. I'm on a fixed term Contract until the end of March. I had an MRI scan and two new abnormalities were found. After waiting for 2 separate biopsy results I'm relieved to say both are benign, but consultant wants them removed to test the whole tumour to be absolutely sure.
So I'm having another 2 lumpectomies in March and also have my appointment with geneticist for BRCA in March too. I felt I coped well through the all the treatment last year, but now I'm not coping at all.
I've made a few mistakes at work that all my colleagues are aware of and although minor, is very out of character for me.
I'm thinking of dropping down to 3 days until I Have the surgery and genetics stuff out the way, but I feel like a failure.
To be honest I'm posting here because I feel like a broken record and don't feel I can talk to friends and family anymore. Most of them haven't even asked what my biopsy results were. When people ask how I am I've started lying and saying I'm fine because I feel they don't want to deal with the real answer.
Does anyone else feel they're battling with themselves to be 'normal' when they just don't feel that way?