hi little miss
I am intending to return to work in september and go in at phased for a month. I am in quite a senior position and actually have alot of involvement in the breast ward where I work [and have had treatment for BC]
this has led me to all sorts of conflict regarding health /work and home
thankfully I have a supportive boss and one of my bosses is actually my consultant and a friend !
my oncologist offered clinical psycholigist wheich I declined initially- however I have now agreed to see her as I feel someone outside my life will help me see things better.
I think you should talk to your oncologist and ask for this support.
time is a great help as the mind will adjust and hopefully for the majority of us will get back into the swing of "normal life". Good luck and try not to put too much pressurre on yourself and remind your boss of the difficulties you have had to overcome so that they my give you a little more slack xx
Hi LIttle Miss
I have been back at work for approx 9 weeks I am still struggling. My phased return is being stretched out abit longer as I am using up alot of my annual leave from last year. As a nurse I am loving being back amongst my patients and I have to say that I am enjoying nursing even more than ever now. However, I am struggling with the management side of things (which my role requires) I cannot seem to remember anything and I am no where near as on the ball as I was pre diagnosis!!! I am struggling with daily life full stop actually. Can't seem to get another routine going. I am not yet up to full days at work and I am just exhausted. I am not sure what to do about it really. I sleep really really well. But I have zero energy which is not helping at work!!!! I still feel a bit lost at work cuz there is so much to catch up on and due to my current lack of being able to process any info this is proving tricky!!! For the first few weeks I found it very awkward being back, and being a senior I have to take charge and pull people up when they are not doing their job properly ect.... This was just horrendous cuz I felt that cuz I had been off for so long to suddenly appear back on the scene and throw my weight around seemed very very wrong and I avoided conflict with staff by hiding behind admin and my boss!!! Wimp yes.
I too felt that my heart wasn't in being back at work for a while because I too had the battle in my head of life is too short and work is getting in the way of me having fun with my life. This does go and even though I would love to work only a couple for days a week and spend the rest of my time living it up reality won't let me. So I am now settled with it all. But if you still feel the same in another few weeks then maybe it is time for a change. There is nothing to stop you looking around for something more interesting, you never know what you might find.
Good luck and all the best
I found a new job in the middle of chemo, so that was a bit odd, and I can sympathise with the "not having your head on the job" feeling. I don't have anything to suggest that you haven't had already, though you might also want to google for an article by Dr Peter Harvey who has written a great piece on getting your head round life after cancer.
Anyone with a braincell able to google search? The article has been mentioned several times on the forums but my brain's not working today.
Hi Little Miss
Very coincidental to read your comments. Am new to this forum and have just been chatting to wonderful lady on the helpline. I think I am probably going through now what you went through just before you re-started work. Am dreading going back to work (probably be off for another month though as not even started radio yet and have just had 2 ops for BC)for all the reasons you state. The helpline lady was fantastic if you need to ring anyone.
I quite agree with Fluffy Chick's last comment too. Your and my feelings are apparently perfectly normal.
Best of luck and keep with it!
Lots of love Lynn x
Hello Little Miss
I returned to work beg April after 13 months off and posted on here as I found it so difficult.
Like you I found it hard emotionally and I was so tired. I was under pressure at work to do full time as soon as so my phased return wasn't that long. But i did it i am now f/t even though i am in bed by 8pm every night and am shattered at the weekends.
Also like you my heart wasn't in it initially but it has got better I think it is a time thing though. For me the hardest thing is accepting that life does kind of have to go back to normal even though i didn't want it to. I keep thinking life is too short.
Stick with it as it will get easier and when you are stronger mentally and physically you will be able to make clearer decisions - well that's my plan!!!
Hope this helps..
HI littlemiss, sorry your return to work hasn't been a good thing so far. I run my own business and I have to say I have been less focussed since the BC treatment - I think people who haven't had experience of ill health have no idea how much we change after it and can be quite unforgiving. PM me if you like - my job is actually conflict resolution in workplaces!!
best wishes Nicola
Hi - am new here and am hoping someone can offer some support/advice.
I recently returned to work after 9 months off. I'm finding it really hard emotionally; my heart isn't in it anymore, I'm finding it hard to adjust and others are finding it hard to adjust to me being back, which has caused some frustrations and conflict.
My heart says that its not the job for me anymore but my head says its not sensible to go through the upheaval of changing jobs at the moment, especially with check ups looming. With changes of line managers to one who is based at a different location, I really feel like I am lost with nowhere to turn/talk to. Did anyone else feel like this? xxx