Thanks for your replies. It helps knowing people are having similar feelings. Have had a difficult week but its over and am willing myself to be more positive and who knows I might begin to believe it!
Take care x
Can understand the 'feelings are weird' bit! It was as though MY feelings belonged to someone else - they felt foreign! Does get easier though.
Sorry you feel alone. If you need more support, try the bc pals forum as well as this one. I live on my own and get lonely going through all this, but have made lots of lovely friends who know exactly how I feel. Both forums are so supportive.
I also look at other people here and feel guilty that I should have bad days. I didn't need chemo or rads, just Tamoxifen (which has its own set of joys!) so I'm very fortunate. However, everyone is different. Although I've not had to have treatment, I have had a mastectomy and will have a prophylactic mastectomy on the remaining boob when I've recovered from this op. Thing is, we're all in this together - we all have/have had breast cancer!
Now I'm rambling......
Anyway, just wanted to send a big (((( hug )))) cos you are NOT alone!!
hi trimoya i think we are on the biggest roller coaster ride there is i was initially told that i would need a masectomy but consultant wanted second opinion now have the option of further surgery to achieve clear margins and rads will take tamoxifen with both options and just cant make that decision. my prognosis is very good. if a cancer prognosis can be! like yourself i am getting really low and upset with myself because i cant make a decision and feel really selfish as there are so many really poorly people out there i also feel quite pathetic.
I go back to see original consultant today and hopefully decision will be made. i was never upset about masectomy but second surgeon put so many doubts in my head.
see there i go again talking about me! thats all i seem to do
just want you to know i feel just as you do ahhhhhh!!!!
maybe we should just scream together. by the way when i left work yesterday peolpe didnt even say good luck for today. now i even feel awful for writing that.
take care and good look with your treatment
x x x
Rollercoaster ride Hi there
I found a lump in my right breast a couple of months ago and as had a harmless lump a couple of years ago was not too concerned. After referral to my local breast clinic by my gp I was totally shocked to be given an immediate diagnosis of cancer (after mammaogram and unltrasound). There has then followed an amazingly quick treatment with a lumpectomy and sentinol node biopsy performed within a couple of weeks of that. had to wait 4 weeks for results but got the best possible outcome, not spread into nodes. I am awaiting to start radiotherapy and then tamoxifen. My feelings are now really wierd, my friends and family were fantastic when first diagnosed but my work colleagues thought best not to really talk about it. I am so happy that the news is good but am now feeling very alone. My family are still great but I feel that that friends probably feel I should be ok now. Certainly at work it is not mentioned at all. Am I really selfish to be feeling still quite vunerable? I read other peoples stories who are having a much more traumatic time and feel quite pathetic. Bit of a long moan - sorry!