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SO CONFUSED

17 REPLIES 17
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Re: SO CONFUSED

Hello Bugnut...

Support group in HH...mmhhhhhh I think me knows you as I was there too...

xxx

Paula

Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi bugnut

Have emailed you.
Will try to pm you- but not sure how to!

Anne x

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Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Jennyg

Ok will do, but just to let you know I went to a support group on Monday in Haywards Heath for newly diagnosed women with BC and it was really good and it was a real mix of ages, 4 of us under 40. I know it is a long way for you but if your interested let me know. I am sure there must be some in your area though.

Take care
x

Re: SO CONFUSED

drop me a message anytime - im the same address for msn if you use it . I am going to look into whether there are local support groups etc in my area - Im sure there must be one for west sussex or something - and if not... well maybe we should sort that out!

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Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Jennyg

Thanks for e mail will pop in my address book. I have no problem chatting to strangers and your right I do not think anyone understands what goes through your mind unless youv'e been there. Friends and family offer support in their own way, but sometimes it makes me feel worse.

Hope to get together soon.

Take care

x

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Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Anne

Wow you have really been through it, it is very encouraging listening to your story. Your right the kids keep me busy, but I feel its always there in my mind. Would love to get together for coffee one day my email is (edited)

Take care

x

Re: SO CONFUSED

Bugnut - I am in Worthing - but I am happy to come over your way as I have a friend in Horley - maybe we could get together for coffee one weekend just to support each other a bit. I dont know if you are like me ... I am not sure how I feel about this whole thing - at work Im quite OK and dont have time to dwell on it much ( or I blank it out somehow! - perhaps if I dont think about it , it will go away) I dont know if you would want to meet a complete stranger for coffee.... I just feel like people on here are perhaps the only ones who understand the complex feelings I am having....

Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Bugnut

Sorry to welcome you to this site but you will get through this. I am 40 and was diagnosed July 07 with grade 3 IDC with 12/29 lymph nodes invloved. This too surprised everyone - including me. I initially had a WLE and SNB but had to go back as also had extensive DCIS and although they got clear margins on IDC not on DCIS. I opted for a mastectomy with immediate LD recon - and so far happy with the results. I then had 6 cycles of chemo and have just finished 30 rads. (may 9th). I am now on tamoxifen.
It is really sacry at times but you will get through it - I found my children the best tonic (although child care was interesting). My two were 5 and 3.
I too come from Crawley - so if you would like to get together over a coffee - just let me know.
I truly believe the waiting for the results and surgery is the worst mentally.
We will all be here to support you.

Big cyber hugs

Please take care, love

Anne x

Guest user
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Re: SO CONFUSED

Thanks for that it really helps. I have just found out my operation has been delayed again now until the 10 June as the radiographer is away on the 3rd. They keep telling me it does not make any difference to the cancer spreading, but it does in my head.

Guest user
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Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Jennyg

It does help in many ways having a man around but in other ways in does not as I feel I am the one who has to fight this and I really want my own space at the moment and I am struggling to get it. I am in West Sussex too in Crawley, where are you? maybe we could get together. Be strong and stay positive.

Re: SO CONFUSED

All your comments are really good - Im 35 and widowed and have grade 3 lump so had masectomy and clearance and spread to one lymp node - it is hard without a man but support from family and friends is great! I start my chemo on Wednesday 3 fec and 3 tac and absoutely terrified!

The support on here is great
x

Re: SO CONFUSED

Hey Bugnut

I'm really sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time. I was diagnosed last August, aged 28, and have two children who were only 11 months and 2 1/2. I felt like I had been it by a bus. My cancer was grade 3, 18mm and had spread into one lymphnode. After diagnosis the waiting for results and the start of treatment seemed to go on and on. Once I knew how big it was and where it had spread I felt like I had gained back some control as I knew what treatment I faced and had a better idea of prognosis.

I had surgery, chemotherapy (3xFEC and 3x Tax), 20 rads and am now on Tamoxifen. I finshed in April 2008 and just wanted to let you know that this is so doable. Yes, it is really scary and it looks like such a massive mountain to climb in the early days but you can do this.

Just try to get through one day at a time and be good to yourself. I found the strength to carry on day after day from my boys, I'm sure you will too.

I'm in the East Riding of Yorkshire if that is anywhere near you if you find you need some support.

Thinking of you all as you start your journeys.

Guest user
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Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Bugnut

Im 39 with 2 children was diagnosed on May 13th and booked in for the op on June 4th results back June 18th. My consultant is on holiday for the next week or so and I have other results coming back on Monday. I am going in on Mon afternoon to discus these with his understudy and the breast care nurse, as I need to make a decision before the op whether it will be a lumpectomy or a mastectomy.

Is there another consultant who can discuss your results with you as soon as they come back, rather than waiting for yours to return from holiday?. Or can the breast care nurse give you the information. This should give you a bit more time to "get your head around it".

The waiting is the worst part. I have felt a lot more optimistic since joining this site. It really helps to know that there are others out there who understand what you are going through, and will listen to your worries.

Hi also to Jennyg

It is helpful to have a man around sometimes, but when something like this happens even the best husband can be a bit useless and you would find yourself worrying about them on top of everything else. How will they cope getting the kids to school, homework, cooking, can they work the washing machine, do they know where the washing machine is!!

It is a horrible thing to go through as you really are on your own, its difficult for the people around you to understand. We have to stay as positive as we can and take one day at a time. I'm determined to enjoy this summer even with this hanging over me. I keep telling myself ( and others ) that its been found, its going to be treated and I have a much bigger chance than I would have had if I had never had it checked out.

If you need to talk keep posting your messages, im sure many of us are up and down worrying, crying and making tea in the middle of the night.

Love and best wishes to you all keep smiling

Ann

Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Bugnut - Im 38 and found out on Wednesday that the lump they took out of me 2 weeks ago was cancerous. I am facing a mastectomy in July. I am still shell shocked. I am single mother ( a daughter , aged 😎 with a very busy managerial job. I do not have a boyfriend / husband and its now that I wish I did, I think( never thought Id long for a man cluttering up my life!) - the nights are the worst times.
My doctor is suprised as I had a biopsy a few weeks before and he was convinced it was a benign lump. I also had a mamogram, ultra sound etc . It is extremely frightening and I have been in tears most evenings once my little girl is asleep. how are you dealing with it? is your husband supportive? I dont know if it helps to hear my story - but I have trawled through this message board for hours and it has helped to a degree to know tehre are hundreds of us going through this. Where abouts are you from? I am in West Sussex and would be happy to meet for a coffee and chat if you are local. Its something that although my friends are being great about - I dont know anyone who really understands the absolute horror of it! Lots of Love xx

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Re: SO CONFUSED

I will not get results until 2 June as consultant away, but he has penciled me in for surgery for the 2nd June, but obviously not sure what that will involve until results, which means I will have 24 hours to get my head around what they will be doing. I feel like I want it out of me now.

Re: SO CONFUSED

Hi Bugnut

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care forums. I am sure you will get lots of help and advice from the many informed users of this site. You may find BCC resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

If you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence about your fears and concerns, please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues and are abble to offer you advice and help or just a 'listening ear' The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Best wishes
Lucy

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Re: SO CONFUSED

So sorry to hear that you have been dx with breast cancer. I got my diagnosis on 17th January and had surgery to remove 16mm grade 1 tumour and node sampling on 25th Jan. I can't explain how you get through it, you just do. The waiting for results is horrendous as many of us here agree.

Sounds stupid but once you know what your treatment plan is it is easier to cope with. Not easy, but easier. At least at that point you know what the game plan is.

When do you expect to get the results from the next ultrasound?

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SO CONFUSED

diagnosed on 1st May with grade 2 ductal tumor in left breast. I am 39 , married with 3 young children. The last 2 weeks have been awful but trying to come to terms with it. The worst thing is the waiting and the uncertainty. All the consultants are shocked by my biopsy result as my ultra sound and mammogram looked OK, so I was sent for a MRI, but not conclusive so awaiting another ultrasound. I have more than 1 small lump and they are unsure which ones are cancerous. Its been two weeks of torture and now more waiting. How do you cope?