"bereavement" yes is the exact word for what I'm feeling these days (as I probably told you English isnt my first language so I cant express my feelings with the exact words).
A phycologist came to see me the day after my op at the hospital (she is a member of my medical team) and to tell you the truth I really had so much to say to her...but the sadness doesnt go away still. As I had panic attacks and an anxiety disorder in the past,antidepressants were good for me for a while, so you are right, maybe I should start them again for some time
I hope things will get better when I got the results of the biopsy and my treatment plan... and also hoping you are doing well
Ms Merton, thank you for the advise. I might do that today because I'm home alone - my husband had to go to work obviously-
I see you have been in Greece. I agree that Sifnos is a wonderful place to be.
It's just that I thought that after doing the surgery I will feel better but I dont know if is the mastectomy or the waiting of the results of the biopsy that are making me so sad at the time...maybe both.
I keep thinking how I was one month ago...and that makes me wanna cry a lot...I know there is no point of these thought but sometimes I cant control my mind...
I will be back soon I hope with - as good they can be I hope- news ...about my treatment plan
good morning Miffy, you are right. I'm so hard to myself some times and now I have to let me relax a little... but is something I'm not used to.
Yesterday I was so frustrated with the things I read in google...I'm in Greece so we dont have such thing as a "cancer nurse", but my medical team is quite close to me. Tommorow I will go back to the hospital to change see my scar, and maybe take out my 2 drains, and discuss how I'm doing. There's also a phycologist there, maybe I'll be able to to talk to her.
Thank you so much for the hugs. I'm sure I need them xxxx
Hello again NoteRed - sorry you are feeling sad. On a bad day, I find a tv programme “box set” (on DVD or internet) can be really helpful to just take your mind off things. I also like to imagine myself on the beach in Sifnos or listening to musicians in a village taverna on Amorgos. Greece is the most amazing country. I hope when the spring starts you can leave Athens for a few days and breathe the country or sea air. It is very uplifting to feel yourself part of the natural world. Unfortunately i have to live in South London! When i was first diagnosed i thought a mastectomy and node clearance was the end of the world. And yet a year later it really isn’t bothering me and i am actually enjoying my life much more in many ways. You will get there but you have to go through the dark tunnel to reach the light at the end. Message the forum again when you get the treatment plan and the ladies here will give you lots of further advice. Xx
Note red -you must be kinder to yourself. I’m sure you are trying. Don’t google there is a lot of rubbish out there that can only frighten us. Everyone is an individual and we all heal mentally and physically in different ways. Perhaps keep a little of record of your feelings to see if something triggers the downs, but perhaps focus on times that give you the ups. Ask advice from your friends on here and from your cancer nurse. We are the experts!!! Look after yourself, sendings lots and lots of love and hugs. We all need them on our journey. Xx
Hi NoteRed, sorry we are meeting here on this forum. I had my mastectomy on 15 Jan and axillary node clearance 2 days ago so everything raw mentally and physically. You have to remember that apart from having to take all this new and horrid information in, you have also had a general anaesthetic which leaves your system weak, give yourself some time, take a step back, get as much support as you can. All the ladies here on this forum have helped to keep me together and positive, sending lots of love, remember you are not alone. Xx