Scared and hate the uncertainty especially over Christmas.

[Theresa47]

Hi Pauline, I hope you are coping ok? TBH it was you who I thought of first when they told me I’d be having chemo first!! Praying it is as successful for me. Did you use the cold cap at all? I’m cutting my hair tomorrow in preparation for it!

Xx

[Theresa47]

Thank you so much, it is such a relief being able to “talk” to others in the same situation.

Biopsy went well, they wanted 4 samples but I asked them to take an extra one to make sure they had enough!  It was the HER2 test as my last one came back borderline negative (if that makes sense)? So the want to make sure it is correct. 

There seems to be so much to do before chemo starts on Wednesday, I’m cutting my hair short tomorrow, my eyebrows tattooed on Sunday, Mini port fitted on Monday, ecg and heart eco on Tuesday and then Chemo on Wednesday!!! 

Its hard to believe that my life has changes so drastically in the space of 4 weeks! 

Xxx

[Charys]

Hey Theresa,

Ok, so your feelings were right. That's a blow to you I'm sure, BUT, action is being taken and as Ann says you have every reason to be positive and hopeful that you will get good results from chemo. There have been some really positive posts lately from ladies who have had chemo prior to surgery, wish I could remember where the one was I read yesterday I'll see if I can find. I know it won't feel like it now, but it seems they are really taking good care to make sure you have absolutely the right treatment plan for you. You are moving forwards my friend, and although there will be trying times ahead, we will be here to listen x

[ann-m]

Hi Theresa,
Well, at least you now have a clearer plan moving forward. Presumably, if they are talking about tamox, then you must have some hormone positivity, possibly ‘pr+’progesterone?
So glad to hear you’re feeling more positive, there’s every reason to be & it will now be dealt with, so thank goodness for that.
ann x

[Theresa47]

Looks I’ll be joining the January chemo board! 

My consultant received my last biopsy results and the calcified areas were pre cancerous cells so they have decided to do 4 rounds of EC -T chemo before the lumpectomy. I’ll start next Wednesday but. Need to have another biopsy done on Friday as I’m ER negative and then borderline negative for something else - my hubby wrote it all down, something was said about not having herceptin but having tamoxifen instead????

Its all a blur but I’m feeling positive 

xx

[Charys]

Morning Theresa,

Yep, that ignorant bliss .....I know what you mean....that would have been preferrable wouldn't it for a better nights sleep and less anxiety. These medical secretaries are trained to say only so much, and not the amount you want to know once they've called. I'll be thinking of you today, and waiting to hear what the meeting comes up with. You are right I reckon, it could be that they want to try chemo first based on a discussion the professionals had together. Mind, what do I know...and now I'm joining the guessing game with you. Will be thinking of you x

[Charys]

Pauline, that is AMAZING! An astonishingly good result, and I'm delighted for you! Long may your 'good news' last.

[Theresa47]

Wow Pauline, that’s amazing news, the shrinkage is huge!!  I’m so chuffed for you.

My pre op assessment went well, we had planned to talk to our 2 girls tonight, but the medical secretary called 10 minutes before we had planned to sit them down to tell them to let me know that my appointment tomorrow with my surgeon will now include the oncologist and to give me the heads up that surgery might not go ahead on Thursday as planned. 

Unfortunately she couldn’t give me any more details- (I kinda wish she had left me in ignorant bliss) . I figure it’s either they’ve got the results on the last biopsy for the calcified areas and they are even more sinister than Previously thought so they want to do chemo first instead of the op or that they want to do a mx instead of of lumpectomy.  

Im trying not to freak out as I know that what will be will be but its bloody hard! 

Theresa xx

[Theresa47]

Hi Pauly,

I received the call from  my consultants secretary this morning. My op is booked for 11am on Thursday, I have a Pre op appointment tomorrow ( Tuesday)  and then a pre op meeting with my surgeon on Wednesday! In writing alll of that down I’m now wondering if 11am is the time i need to be at the hospital or the time of the actual op? I will make a list of the questions that I have tonight. 

Write the all your questions down as your mind will probably go blank as soon as you walk into the room! Let me know how you get on, I’ll be thinking of you at 4pm this evening. I’ll keep you posted too. 

Theresa xx

[Charys]

Hiyer Pauly , all the very best for your appointment today and hope you get all the answers you need and want.

Hi Theresa, That's a good sign that you just 'want it gone now', from what I've observed on here its a natural progression in the mental process. At some point, for many, the need to get on with treatment overtakes other feelings....it did for me and I was injection/GA/Surgery phobic to a ridiculous level. x

[Jill1998]

It's strange but you actually do feel better once you have a date to get the bugger removed -feels like progress .

[Theresa47]

Hi Charys

yes they did the core biopsy and inserted a clip. I’ve signed my consent form for the op, I’m just awaiting a call from my surgeons secretary with my date. She is keen to get it done this week but her theatre slots were all booked so fingers crossed. It’s so strange, after being so scared about this entire process now I just want to get it all started! 

I hope you are well ? Xx

[Charys]

How you doing Theresa? Was the corebiopsy done?

[Jill1998]

Your welcome ,hope it helps .

[Theresa47]

thanks  so much Jill xx

[Jill1998]

Hi this is the link to the book Ali mentioned ,you can download it or order it from BCC.

[Jill1998]

https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/mummys-lump-bcc164

[Ali S]

Oh Theresa that's tough having to have another biopsy. I know it's no comfort at the moment but at least they will know exactly what they are dealing with before your treatmeent starts xx

[Charys]

Oh Theresa! Really, this is so hard for you...another biopsy.....you will have quite a 'story to tell' when this is all done and dusted in the future.

[Theresa47]

Thank you, I will have a look xx

[Theresa47]

Thank you, I’ll have a look now. Unfortunately I had a call today from the hospital and they want to do another core biopsy tomorrow on a calcified area that was found on one of my scans. 😔

[Hufflepuff]

Hi Theresa,

Sorry that you find yourself here but there is lots of wonderful support available. My BCN have me a booklet called 'talking with your children about breast cancer'. It's from Breast Cancer Care so you can probably download it from here. It has advice on how to talk to children of different ages. There is no easy way around this unfortunately, and all children are different but hopefully this may help.

Best wishes and a hug xxx

[Ali S]

I'm afraid sleepless nights are unavoidable, especially at this early stage. It's great that you have a good support network.
My children are adults but I was offered a booklet from Mcmillion called something like mummy's lump to read to younger children.
Ali

[Theresa47]

I’m feeling ok at the moment but it has been up and down. Just when I think I’ve had a good day and I’ve come to terms with it....BAM  2am I wake up worrying about everything. I’ve lost count of the sleepless nights.  I have a great support network as I decided to tell my family and a handful of friends. I’m dreading tell my girls (4&7). My 4 year old will take it in her stride but my 7 year old is very sensitive and is a worrier. If I could keep it from them I would but she’d completely freak if she found out by accident. Any tips on telling kids?

Theresa

[Ali S]

Hi Theresa. I'm so sorry about your bc diagnosis. I'm glad that you found your way here. You will find lots of love and support from all the lovely ladies. Thankfully you checked when you did so you can get the treatment you need.
I was diagnosed in July and had my 6 cycles of chemo first. I had a lumpectomy just before Christmas so I am waiting for the results from that before moving on to radiotherapy.
There are loads of ladies on here at various stages of treatment who will be happy to answer any questions you have.
Take care, Ali xx

[Charys]

Theresa, I'm really sorry your post slipped 'under our guard', its not the usual.....but somehow over Christmas it got missed. I'm dreadfully sorry to hear of the awful waiting you had over Christmas, with your two young ones to look after - and now so sorry to hear you have had a bc diagnosis. Its fortunate you were able to use your BUPA to get your checks and diagnosis quickly, and it seems already there is a preliminary treatment plan in place (with final results yet to come and hopefully no further spread). How are you feeling now ?

I know it won't feel at all positive right now, but thank goodness you checked when you did ! I was diagnosed and treated March 2016, and there are many others on here who are a long way further on from treatment. Have you found some support from those around you ?

[Theresa47]

Hi Lin

Thank you for your reply. I got my BC diagnosis on Dec 28th, my lymph nodes are affected too so on the following day I had to go back and have an MRI and CT scan to see if it has spread anywhere else. The consultant said that if it hasn’t spread they will do a lumpectomy and 6 cycles of chemo, then 3 cycles of radiation. I will find out my results on Thursday. 

When will you have your surgery? Are you having chemo first? I’ve spent the last few days looking at wigs online as the Breast Nurse advises me to cut my hair short so I can use the cold cap.

i hope that you are ok? 

Theresa

[mumgonemad]

Theresa47 I'm so sorry you have had no responses.
Bless you having all that worry over the festive period.
Please come bck & let us know your results xx
I had 12 core biopsies & a fine needle aspiration from lymph node on 18th Oct.
That wait is a killer & all sorts go through your mind.
I was diagnosed on 24th Oct & am awaiting surgery.
I hope your young ones have kept you going over Xmas & made you laugh & smile xx
Hugs
Lin

[Theresa47]

Hi all I’ve been reading all the post for a few days now and I’ve finally plucked up the courage to post. A week ago on the anniversary of my beautiful mother in laws passing with cancer, while sitting and thinking about her something/someone  told me I needed to check my breasts. Minutes later I discovered a fairly big lump on my left breast. After a sleepless night I called the Dr who told me to come straight in and see the nurse. She did an urgent refferal to the Breast clinic. After not hearing anything for 3 days I called the hospital to be told that they were quite busy and the first appointment they had would be on Dec 28th. Luckily we have BUPA through my husband work and we went private and manage to see a consultant on dec 20th. After lots of scans and a mammogram they insisted on doing 2 fine needle and 1 core biopsy as there are 2 lumps in my breast and 1 near the lymph nodes under my left arm. The only thing I know for certain is they aren’t cysts. 

My results won’t be back until dec 27th. I am absolutely terrified as I with 2 young girls and a hubby. I’m trying to get into the Christmas spirit for my girls but it is so hard.

sorry for the long post. Xxx