Thank you so much for everything you wrote, and for the quick reply. It's spot on: I read it late at night before the check-up the next day, and it helped tremendously. I'm so grateful to you.
Everything was fine in the end. There's some lymphodoema in the breast but I already had Bio-Oil, and I was told to massage with that. Otherwise, no problems. And I've now fixed up an assessment for the free counselling, so things are looking brighter!
It's understandable that the thought of going for the check up brings back all the feelings around the diagnosis and treatment, and the worry monster takes a hold. I can only tell you what I experienced during my 6 month check after WLE and SNB followed by rads: Quick look at the boob to admire his handiwork, bit of a feel round, and "how are you doing on the hormone tablets?" then sent on my way in a very positive fashion. My concerrns were that I had got off too lightly and I asked all sorts of questions about why i didn't need chemo; why I didn't have an MRI or Oncotype DX; was he SURE it had been at an early stage............I think it was the worry monster that made me give him the 3rd Degree, poor chap! That was in March this year and once that appointment was done I really have not looked back, though I suspect the little monster will rear its ugly head coming up to the annual mammo in November, but I'll cross that bridge when the time comes. I can't offer advice, other than to concur that some counseling would certainly be a good idea, especially if its free (!) but what i can say is that I've no intention of checking out just yet, unless it's doing something exciting and dangerous and not cancer-related, and I guess you aren't going to any time soon either! The infections may just be that you have been through a lot emotionally and physically and are a bit low, but certainly mention it to the doc. This time tomorrow you'll have got another stage in this process over and done with. All the best. xxxxxxx
Not sure where to post this. Tomorrow I'm going to see my surgeon for my check-up six months after my lumpectomy and SNB. I've been thinking that it's just a bore, it's not going to be 'news' and escpecially not bad news, so I'm going on my own. But I've been getting more & more scared about it.
What if she can tell that there's something there - something wrong? She wanted me to have an ANC and I didn't. I opted for radiotherapy & hormone treatment. Those have been fine, but I've had so many infections etc ever since. Is that normal?
Last night I started remembering & re-feeling what it was to get repeated bad news and then to be in the hospital for the lumpectomy, like being wheeled around on a trolley. I so much don't want to have to go through any more of that. I got off comparatively lightly, I did a runner & I got my life back as much as I could. It's been frustrating not to be well, but I'm living in hope that at some point everything will settle down.
And what if it's the biggie? What if this is where I find out the end is looming? I'm not ready to check out yet.
I've been thinking of trying to access the free counselling which is available to cancer patients at the hospital. I think it might really help.
Any advice on any of this would be much appreciated.