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Scared to look at mx

7 REPLIES 7

Re: Scared to look at mx

Thanks that's really reassuring. I think I'll feel much better when i get the right underwear and prosthesis. It really helps to hear from people above been through the orherside! Thanks xxx

Re: Scared to look at mx

Ahhh Hannah bless u, that was me back in December. I couldn't bear to look at it or touch it either, I washed with my eyes closed the first few times and then my lovely mum came round and we had a proper look together and I started to get used to it. It does take time, do it when you're ready, you've been through a huge thing. Be kind to yourself. I'm 3 months on from you and I'm pretty much ok with it now. iv been swimming, iv treated myself to lovely underwear and iv got a great prosthesis so I feel balanced. It's early days for you, rest loads as it took me days to get over the general anaesthetic and remember to do the exercises so you don't get stiff. Big hugs H xxx

Re: Scared to look at mx

Hi Hannah , I definitely intend celebrate when this is all over .. Good luck , pm me at anytime if you want to chat xxx

Re: Scared to look at mx

Hi Helen, I'm waiting for my pathology results too and am also very nervous. Good luck for yours.
That's gutting about your 40th birthday but you'll have to make next year your official 40th instead and celebrate big style! X

Re: Scared to look at mx

Having to wait 6 months sounds difficult. You're right in that I have got the mx out of the way now so it's not hanging over my head. I did have a look at it yesterday when I changed my bra and it wasn't as bad as I imagined. Good luck for the rest of your treatment. X

Re: Scared to look at mx

Hi , I am recovering from my double mastectomy which I had done last Friday , I had Immediate reconstruction. Before the breast cancer I had already had implants as I had them done cosmetically 7 years ago , so like you when I first looked down and saw that they was not there anymore it was very emotional , I am black and blue all over . I miss my old boobies and keep looking at my new ones and thinking they just are not the same , opting for the mastectomy was my choice as I have the brac2 gene and wanted to lower my risk of any reaccurance , I just feel the next stage is waiting for the pathology results which I am very nervous about , it was also my 40th 2 days ago which I celebrated in my pj's and my drains still in . I have a 15 year old son so will take what ever action to be here for him ... Hope you feel better soon xxx

Re: Scared to look at mx

Doesn't sound pitiful at all. I need to have a mx after my treatment and whilst I hate my left breast these days, I too know I'm going to feel this way. I actually bathe in a t'shirt these days as I already can't look at the offender. I'm a 38 GG so my boobs are a big part of my life! And I'm known for my low cut tops, well I was!!
Obviously I'm not in your position yet so I can't advise you but all I will say is, that surgery was necessary to clear your body of cancer to save your life! And whilst the actual breast is gone it can be replaced in whichever way you choose if you choose to do so, this gives me comfort, I dread being where you are now but believe me I wish I was as I'm sat here with the thought that cancer will remain in my body for at least a further 6 months!! They've removed it! You are close to coming out the other end of this horrendously rubbish time! Good Luck xxx

Scared to look at mx

Hi, This is my first post. I'm 42 with 2 young children. I was diagnosed on 8 Feb and told that I needed the lump removed from my breast only. The results of the MRI were delayed but when they finally arrived they showed I needed an mx, which had been my worst fear since diagnosis.
I'm now sitting in hospital due to be discharged today after having a left side mx. I'm absolutely petrified of looking at it. I don't know how I'm going to get washed and dressed as I'll need to see it. I know I've got to look at it at some point and come to terms with it, but just don't feel ready.
Also, my bra size was 30GG, so small back and big boobs! The implant will not be anywhere near as big as my own breast. Whilst I can have surgery after treatment to even things up, it won't be for a good 6 to 12 months.
I know this all sounds very self pitying and in grateful that hopefully this is treatable. Think I'm still emotional from the general.
Any advice on how to cope with that first look/wash would be greatly appreciated.
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