Scared witless

Hi,

Sep 11 I was diagnosed with a grade 3 DCIS, had 4.5 months of Anastrozole before left MX and left axillary clearance in Feb 12 followed by 3 weeks of rads. 2 days ago I found a lump in my right breast and also discovered a lump just under the skin in the lower part of my stomach. I had a CT scan in Sep 11, 2 weeks after the diagnosis, to make sure the cancer hadn’t spread and at the time it showed nothing. Before I started my rads I asked my Oncologist, that with there being so long between the diagnosis and surgery, was it possible for the cancer to have spread and would it not make sense to have another scan. Basically, the idea was poo poo’d even though it was a grade 3. I’m off to the docs today but, now, I’m so scared that the cancer has spread.

Helen

HI YOU MUST BE SCARED AND I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING,I HAD MY OP 5 DAYS AGO AND THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY HEAD THAT IS WORRYING ME SO TODAY I AM GOING TO FIND OUT SOMETHINGS.THINKING ABOUT YOU TAKE CARE LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES.

Hi Scaredy Cat and MINI 20

If either of you need some extra support or just to talk things through please do give the BCC helpline call on 0808 600 8000.

Here you can share your concerns with a trained member of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The lines are open 9 to 5pm Monday to Friday and 10 to 2pm Saturday.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

Hi Helen
Scared witless is right. I had a Grade 2 IDC in Sept last year (bad month for us) lumpectomy/SNB/rads. Nodes not affected so no chemo just the prospect of 5 years on Anastrazole (oh joy oh rapture) thought I’d got off lightly. Over the last few weeks I’ve had an odd feeling in the other boob and called the BCN, I hadn’t found anything but had a baaad feeling, and she moved up my checkup from next Wed to this. Last night in the bath, found a lump.
Had my lumpectomy approx a month after I found the lump last year. I can’t believe it can happen again so fast. I’m off the to surgeon tomorrow hoping I’m wrong. Hope you got the news you want from your doctor.
Hang in there and keep me posted
Monica

Hi Monica,

Good look for today. I’ll keep everything crossed for you.

My doc has referred me back to my surgeon so I’ve got to wait, yet again, to found out anything. Since I saw my surgeon 6 weeks after my op I’ve not heard anything from the hospital at all. Feel really let down by them.

You too hang on in there and keep me posted too.

Helen x

Hi Mini20,

Many thanks for your support. I hope you’re recovering well from your op. Please let know how you got on yesterday as I know where you’re coming from.

My doc has referred me back to me surgeon so I’ve got to wait, yet again, to find out anything.

All the best,

Helen x

Hi i cryed and cryed and am still crying this morning,i took lots of pain drugs last night just so i would stop crying and it did work i had a good night sleep,i will not know till next thursday ,my cancer was very small and they told me it would not be in nodes there took 2 nodes the rest looked ok cut these in have and a micro cell in one half ,and my breast nurse told, me it is likely i will have kimo rads drugs ,i hate it i feel so low i think i will have to go on something to get me out of this dark place,everyone seems so brave and here i am wanting to run away so i dont have to face this,ive been through this once.so thats how i am feeling.now tell me about how you got on did your doc tell you anything ,why dont you go and see the breast nurse it might help you a little,let me know how it goes,take care,sharon x

MINI 20

Hi Sharon,

I truly know how you feel. Since I found that lump 4 days ago my head, too, is all over the place. I just want to know what the hell it is but I’ve got to wait until the 2 Jul for my appointment at the hospital. If it is a cancer then I’ll be jumping up and down and thumping a few tables because I did ask about re-checking for any spread because it was 8 months from the first diagnosis to beginning radiotherapy. As you suggest, I will contact my breast care nurse.

Sweetheart, please go and see your GP and get him/her to give you something to help you out of that dark place. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you want to talk further please send me a private message. I’ll add you as a friend as well. It may help to ask your breast care nurse to put you in touch with one of the counsellors. When I was having radiotherapy I had several chats with one there and it did help. She was such a lovely person.

Please, please keep in touch and let me know how you are getting on.

Lots of hugs,
Helen xx

Hi Helen thankyou for your lovely kind words,i havet been good for a few days so my daughter took me to the doc waited 40 mins was in a lot of pain very tearful could not stop crying anyway i walk out told my daughter all was ok .came home and phoned the breast nurse told her the pain was getting me down she said she would phone me back in a few minute in that short time all this clear water started comeing out the side where the nodes op was,when she phoned i told her what was going on she told me come to the hoisptal which i did,anyway my surgeon was there and he saw me i told him i was very worrid about the micro cell in the nodes he did not have my notes and would have to wait till next thursday but he felt i would not need to have any more nodes removed,then i talk to the nurse and i feel a bit better now been sleeping alot i hope i will be a bit more postive now i am on so tables to help me throught this,i am sure i will be worrid next thursday but i will know which way my treatment will be going.Tell me how you are doing Helen you have a long wait till the 2 july.i will be here if you need to chat,take care. sharon xx

Hi Sharon,

How did you get on last Thurs. I’ve been thinking about you. I went to the hospital yesterday, had a mammogram and ultrasound and every thing is ok. Phew, what a relief. Maybe I can get some decent sleep now.

Hope you’re ok. Lots of hugs.

Helen

Hi i am so please for you, what a relief,you can start to enjoy your life now. The good news is no chemo,just 15 rads and 5 yrs Anastrozole,i only finished 5 yrs on tamoxfen a yr ago and i had 30 rads last time,the cancer was small and grade 2,very sore under arm and is painful to move,i have taken my first Anastrozole table and am hopeing the side effect will not be to bad,rad in about 4 weeks.The pills from the doc have helped me a lot and i am not crying so much,i am going to go to a support group in 2 weeks ,hope that gets me throught the rads.how are you getting on with Anastrozole any side effect yet.take care i am so happy for you.sharon

Hi people so good to hear from u all.I’m had my 4th round of fec chemo yesterday so not feeling too well but hay Ho. What I was wondering if it was possible to have a lump in other breast as in bath last night an felt small lump on good breast didn’t think it would happen if having Chemo but could just be a cyst x

HI I DONT COME ON HERE SO MUCH,BUT JUST SEEN YOUR MESSAGE,HOW ARE THINGS GOING FOR YOU,WHAT WAS THE LUMP,I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OK.TAKE CARE.

hi pelt

cancer in the other side is very rare, your team would have looked at both breasts when you were diagnosed so its even more unlikely to develop in such a short space of time especially when your on chemo… but do go and get it checked out.

sharon sending big hugs to you and hope the anastrozole isnt causing too many problems.

lulu x

Hi thankyou lulu for your message i am not doing very well at the momment filling very low so i did not go for my 12 rad today,its not only the breast cancer its lots of things,i am finding it so much harder this time,i cant seem to get my head round this,how are you lulu

Hi Sharon (MINI20),

Sorry I’ve not replied sooner but thank you for your thoughts . Apart from the hot flushes which are gradually subsiding I have not any problems with Anastrozole. I hope yopu’re not getting too sore from the radiotherapy. I saw, on one of the posts here, something about a cream called Seven Cream. I bought some and it’s brilliant. Please don’t miss any of your radiotherapy appointments - they’re so important. I know it’s hard and I understand how you feel because I feel as you do. I recently had a bone scan and CT scan and the bone scan has shown up something on the right side of my skull. I’ve been talking to a counsellor and it’s really helping and on Mon I’m of to the docs to get some ‘happy pills’ as well. It may be worth having a talk to your BCN and asking her to refer you an oncology counsellor. The one I see is lovely and as I said, it really helps. Please get in touch.

Lots of hugs,
Helen xx

Hi Helen i am going to have the last 3 rads this week and i am going to talk to someone,i cant go on like this i am scared to touch my breast when i wash,so i am worrid all the time that there could be something going on,so i am going to talk and get myself back to some kind of normal.i am sorry something has shown up in the ct scan what is going to happen now,thinking about you,hugs to you sharon xx

Hi Sharon,

Oh, sweetheart, you sound in a worse state than me but thank you for your kind thoughts.

When you go for your radiotherapy ask to talk to one of the oncology counsellors. If they’re anything like the one I’m seeing, now, they’re absolutely brilliant. I’m going to send you a private message with my phone number on it so it you want to actually talk to someone you can.

I’m having an MRI tomorrow to find out what is going on. Perhaps they might find out where my brains have disappeared to! Will get the results next week. Also I’m going to my doctors today to get some ‘happy pills’ to help me in the short term.

Lots of love and hugs,
Helen xx

Sharon so sorry your struggling but i agree with helen and i think it would be helpful for you to talk through your issues… I am also on happy pills and have great support from counsellors in the past… It really can help some people.

helen how did your mri go? Sorry i didnt see your post earlier… Sending love and hugs Lxxx

HI LULU & HELEN THANKYOU FOR YOU KIND WORDS,I HAVE FOUND IT SO MUCH HARDER THIS TIME I SEEM TO BE CROSS AND FIND MYSELF CRYING,MY RAD FINISHED 2 WEEKS AGO AND MY SKIN IS PEELING AND VERY SORE,I HAVE BEEN GIVEN SOME CREAMS FOR BAD BURNS WHICH IS WHAT I HAVE UNDER MY ARM,I HAVE GOT SOME HAPPY PILLS AND THEY ARE HELPING A BIT,SOMETIMES I FEEL SO ALONE AND THEN I COME ON HERE AND SEE ALL OF YOU GOING THROUGH THIS AS WELL,TAKE CARE SHARON