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Scared.....

Bibi44
Member

Re: Scared.....

https://www.facebook.com/Young-Womens-Breast-Cancer-Blog-UK-765815880182749/timeline/?ref=aymt_homep...

 

Oh you poor love! I do feel for you.  It's a really cruel & harsh thing that's happened to us all. I promise you it will get better & that you won't feel like this the whole way through your treatment.  You're in the worst bit now. If it's small & low grade there's every chance they'll be able to successfully treat it.  My friend was diagnosed with some weird kidney cancer that doesn't respond to chemo a few months ago & given a 40% chance.  At least BC is so common that tons of research has been done & treatments are improving every month, literally. New stuff has come out since I was diagnosed. At least we are looking at odds in the 80-95%region which yours sounds like it is from what you know so far.  The link to YBCN is above.  xxxx

Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

How do I find the page for younger people?
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

I am so scared. The nurse said to me the lump
Is small and treatable and I'm not going to die and said she cannot say things like this to me if they were not true so I just have to keep hold of those facts x
Bibi44
Member

Re: Scared.....

Taran & Suzie so sorry you are both in this mess along with the rest of us.  Must be really awful with young children to worry about.  Treatments are advancing all the time & they can treat an awful lot of us successfully.   I think we've all shared your dark thoughts from time to time, but try not to let them take over.  It's hard at night, but during the day, just tell yourself to push them away for now.  I don't know if you are already aware, but there is a Young Breast Cancer Network for ladies of your age, where you will be able to talk to people who were also diagnosed at a young age.  Might be worth a look? Just also wanted to say that if you do end up with chemo, you don't feel bad all the time & I would have been perfectly capable of looking after young children throughout, with the exception of the odd day here & there.  In a way, they will give you something else to focus on & a reason to get through.  All the best for your results Suzie & treatment both. xx

netti37
Member

Re: Scared.....

Suzie.... My heart goes out to you. I know how your feeling. I felt and still feel the same. The first few days after dx I was in prices. I could not stop crying. All I keep thinking about are my children who are 8 and 11... How are they going to get through this, let alone me??? I'm scared too, your not alone. I've chatted to some lovely ladies here who can help you, with their support and encouragement. Stay strong Suzie. Xxx
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

I know hun. Honestly I did feel better once I'd actually had the diagnosis, knew what I was dealing with and had the treatment plan in place. Just a really tough few days waiting to get there x
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

I feel like I'm in such a bad place right now
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

Yes, in Wales x
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

They seem pretty certain it is. I am now very scared that if I get through this I now have to get through it again. I just don't want to die and leave my kids and this is all I keep thinking about now. Are you based in uk
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

No it doesn't. It might, but it might not. They give chemo/radiation/hormone therapy to try and stop it from coming back. What they can give depends on the type of cancer it is. But after all the worry, I hope when you get the results it isn't cancer at all and you won't need to think about any of this!
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

I just want this lump
Out of me I can't bear touching it. So does this mean even if I get through this in going to get it again?
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

Ah hun, don't think like that. I said the same words to my husband. But my consultant told me I won't die of this breast cancer. And I have to believe it. The future is another story, but this one isn't going to get me at least. I have a 5 year old, 3 year old twins and a 3 month old.x
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

Mine are 5 & 3 years old. I just don't want to die 😞
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

How old are your kids Suzie? Mine have been my biggest concern since all this started. It's so hard isn't it. It sounds like your dad is really supportive, which is great. I'm very lucky to have amazing family and friends around me. I stayed 1 night in hospital because of the node clearance. They seem very on the ball with BC but yes, you should be offered any treatment you agree to within 30 days because of NICE guidelines. It's so helpful to talk to people. Hearing from people like sissylw finishing treatment really helps keep you going knowing there will be an end to it all eventually!! And I know it's hard, but try tonstay away from Google for a few days! I did the same, and almost none of the stuff you find is good. Especially when you don't know your diagnosis yet. Like I say, not easy but try not to do it!
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

My dad found this site for me. I was worried as I am the worst person for googling stuff. Health anxiety is awful and at a time like this it makes me even worse. I keep breaking down 😞 I have also spent the whole week on the sofa or in bed just taking dizapram to chill me out. I didn't eat for 4 days but have started to now. It's nice to come on here and speak to people. Apparently once diagnosed they will get me in for surgery within 30
Days as they have to?
Sissylw1980
Member

Re: Scared.....

Hi suzie, waiting for an official diagnosis is horrid and very hard mentally. I was diagnosed last October when I was 35, I had a lump in breast as well as enlarged lymph nodes in my underarm. I also suffer with health anxiety was so scared that it had spread elsewhere. Whilst waiting for my pet/ct scan I spent most days in bed not eating and imagining the worst case scenarios, it's hard as you imagine that every ache and pain you have is more bad news, however it's usually your mind playing tricks. Even though it had gone to my lymph nodes the rest of the scan was clear and it was all located in one area. I had a mastectomy and full node clearance in November, had 6 rounds of chemo which started in January and have just had three weeks of rads. It's scary, but it's all doable. If your lump does turn out to be cancer then you will get through it, you need to trust what your nurse and medical team are telling you. This forum is also a fantastic place to get support xx
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

And the nurse told me it would be day surgery is that the case? Then what they take out gets sent away for biopsy and then maybe have another op if they don't get it all. So you had some in your nodes? Do you have a good support group around you? I only noticed the lump on Sunday and went to doctors Monday and was scanned and biopsied Thursday. I keep crying all the time, thinking about my husband and kids
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

It's so natural to worry though. I don't see how you couldn't worry about things like spread until you know for sure. I tend to over think everything though so that probably doesn't help! I felt much better once I had a treatment plan in place. And for a couple of weeks after he op I was focussing on recovery and it took my mind off the rest of it for a while. I've recovered really well. Had it done on a Thursday and was very sore and stiff, but by Sunday I could feel an improvement and then kept getting better. Not perfect now but very manageable x
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

I am scared that it's spread to my bones etc. I have health anxiety anyway that I suffer from so my mind always thinks the worst. The nurse was telling me if your under arm was clear on scan then why would You think that? How did you feel after the surgery?
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

I waited 5 days for results enough to tell me it was invasive ductal carcinoma, then another 2 days for her2 results to decide treatment. In the meantime they gave me a ct and bone scan. Once the her2 result came back negative they booked me for surgery which was a week later. It was all really quick. I had a lumpectomy and axillary node clearance as I had a positive node from sample they took during biopsy. If the her2 result was positive they would have done chemo first and then the surgery x
Suzie22
Member

Re: Scared.....

Thanks so much for the response. It's nice that your the same age as me so we have a connection there. So I take it you had the 7 day wait for results, then what happened?
Taran
Member

Re: Scared.....

Hi Suzie, I'm not going to be able to say anything to make you feel better I know, but I do understand exactly how you feel. I'm the same age as you and was diagnosed last month. The days between biopsy and diagnosis were the most difficult of my life. Like you say, your mind wanders and you imagine the worst scenario possible. But if they are positive in telling you they can treat this then hold onto that fact. I'm now 3 weeks after surgery and waiting to start chemo. It's a long road, but I'm so thankful it was found when it was still able to be treated. I'm here if you want to talk x
Suzie22
Member

Scared.....

I have been to the hospital this week as I found a lump on my breast and they have told me after carrying out ultrasound it's highly likely it's cancer, I'm 32. They have taken a biopsy and said that the lump is small, treatable and my ultrasound under my arm looks clear. I've been very depressed during this whole week as all I keep thinking is in going to die. I went into panic attack during ultrasound and after and the nurse kept saying I'm not going to die and it's treatable but your mind wanders