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Scared!

20 REPLIES 20

Re: Scared!

Hi Sandra,
you've made me feel better knowing that you've only had 4 weeks off. I'm like thinking at least 6 months! But, I suppose until I have my treatment plan I'll know more then.
I'm just putting everything in their hands. In fact I'm happy to have chemo at least I'll know that I've done everything possible to stop it from spreading. I'm thinking if they don't offer it how do they know that no cells have escaped? So if they offer it just think of it as a positive and reassurance that everything has been done! (I can't believe I'm giving advice! Lol!)
OFSTED "yuck" I think it was a good time to get BC 😂 Don't feel guilty you'll have many more of them in the future! 😩
Here's to good future health and speedy recovery!
Xx

Re: Scared!

PS Jean

We had OFSTED in last week and I felt very guilty not being there supporting my teacher!
We got a good with outstanding elements from special measures 3 years ago!
We are now an academy!
Any time you need a chat!

Sandra xx

Re: Scared!

Hi Jean!

I told my surgeon to do what she needed to do, mastectomy, lumpectomy! Just remove the lump!
I had a lumpectomy and SNB done on 30 th March.
Recovery was good and I took 4 weeks off work....i'm in education too! This time included the Easter holidays.
I went back for my results and the surgeon had got a clear margin but a micromet was found on the sentinal node which 5 years ago would not have been found as so small and some countries would class it as negative.
I decided to have an axillary node dissection, couldn't live with a what if!
I am a grade 2 and showed no lymph node involvement on ultrasound!
It is thought a blood splash from either the biopsy or surgery transferred to sentinal node!
I have my results next Monday 5th June and an oncology appt on 19 th June!
My initial treatment plan was radiotherapy and tablets for 10 years! Now I don't know if I need chemo as well! Terrified of that to be honest!
I am still off work and can't see me going back just yet!

Sandra xx

Re: Scared!

Hi Sandra,
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
At this moment I'm kind of thinking I don't care what this boob looks like, just get this cancer out of me. But doctor said I wouldn't thank her if she made a mess of it, once I'm recovered and years down the line.
I'm now over analizing the fact that it's attached to the skin as she said it was unusual. (But not googling that info)
Just wondered what treatment you've had Sandra, if you don't mind sharing that we me.
I've told my main family and friends now. I felt drained (emotionally) last night. But wanted it done so can now think about me, hubby and kids!
Next, chapter is telling work. I've got a week off this week. (Work in education) I'm really anxious about this as I've never had time off. I even feel guilty for taking time off when kids are ill.

Xx

Re: Scared!

Hello Jean!

My lump was 3 cm and attached to the skin which caused puckering!
My surgeon did an amazing job and my boob looks great better than expected!

Take care
Sandra x

Re: Scared!

Thank you ladies! Your words are very comforting. I'll keep you posted once I know more info. I'm sure I'll be after some tips! Xx

Re: Scared!

Jean

 

Oh I am sorry that it was not the news you wanted, but you know that you are in good hands and your treatment will be sorted to get rid of the little blighter.

 

I know what you mean about feeling relieved, it takes away the anxiety of not knowing and wondering.  I think they pretty much know at this stage if the lymph nodes are involved but like to err on the side of caution until the results are back.

 

Your positivity will get you through this along with your family and friends, and us lot on here who are always there for you.

 

When I was telling my family and friends I just said I have some good bad news, the bad news was it was cancer, the good news is that it is treatable and the outlook is very good. I think that because I knew exactly what I was dealing with and had a treatment plan from my bc team that I totally had faith in, it made it easier for them to accept.  There are some very good booklets on the Information and Support section of the main webpage, I am not sure if I have already posted the links to you, I know I did to someone, which deals with telling children.

 

When I was diagnosed I gave my cancer a name Mr Blobby and when I was telling people I would say Mr Blobby is going to be removed on my op day and that the other treatment - radiotherapy and hormone blocking tablets - were the belts and braces to make sure that he had not left any of his spots in me.  Everyone found it hilarious that I had named it, but then that is me 🙂

 

Let us know how you get on next week, and dont forget we are here for you

 

Sending you a hug xxxx

Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Scared!

Jean, I know that this is not the news you want, but you appear so positive and almost relieved to have the results! As you know, BC is very treatable, and, dare I say it, the best cancer to have. My Mr. Blobby was a ductal grade 3, stage 2, 23 mm and right near my nipple. So I've had a WLE and full LN clearance. Don't know what they've planned for you, but mine was quite straightforward. The nipple was whipped off, tumour out and nipple back on. Jobs a good'un. I'm into chemo now due to the LN being involved, but am assured that the cancer is gone, and this is belts and braces stuff. I wish you all the very best for your journey, which is  a marathon, not a sprint. Be good to yourself, and do let us know how you progress . Big hug. X

Re: Scared!

Helena, you are so thoughtful thinking about us.
Unfortunately, it wasn't the news I hoped for. I've got breast cancer. I feel almost relieved, as not knowing felt worse. I had a couple of biopsies on the area and will know more next week. She said it's about 3cms and it's very near to the surface of skin. So may be a tricky operation to do as a lot of skin will have to be removed. She said the lymph nodes didn't look swollen. But said I'd need further investigation to be certain.
I told my daughter last night. As I felt it was for the best as it's half term so I can keep and eye on her and make sure she's ok. I've got my 12 year old son to tell today. But not sure what to say. Cancer is such a big scary word! Then the rest of my family and friends.
Surprisingly, I feel really strong and in fight rather than flight mode!
Xx

Re: Scared!

Kate and Jean

 

Just wanted to send you both all good wishes for tomorrow, we will be virtually holding your hands.

 

Sending you both a hug

 

Helena xxx

Re: Scared!

Sarah

 

How did you get on Thursday xx

Re: Scared!

Hi Kate, my appointment is the 30th too. I've been beside myself with worry and torturing myself with negative thoughts. I've spent most of the weekend in my dressing gown feeling sorry for myself.
i can't seem to motivate myself into gear. After reading lots of positive outcomes on here from lots of women's appointments it has reassured me.
I've decided I can't change what's ahead so I'm getting on with it tomorrow enough of worrying. I think my dog has even picked up on my worrry and has not left my side this weekend!
Fingers crossed we get good news!
Xx

Re: Scared!

Hi Kate and Sarah. I thought I would reply to you because I know how awful it is to be waiting for an appointment, and I have had a lot of experience in that! I have maybe been referred 10 times in my life (starting in my twenties) and all of those times it was not BC. Most of the times it was a cyst, and if so, they will drain it with a needle right there and then (which is not painful) and you will go home fine. Two times, I had to have surgery, but even then it turned out to be nothing, despite me thinking the worst. I have two little scars from the operations, but it is no big deal and just a relief to know that you are okay. Please try not to think the worst, best wishes to you both, and let us know how you get on.

Love M. xx

Re: Scared!

Hi Kate, I'm 27 too and have 2 kids. I've been referred to a breast clinic after finding a lump. I'm pretty much on the same boat as you, obsessing about it. My appointment is next Thursday and I've been trying to keep busy and not think about it. Doing things with my kids and planning days out. I was constantly googling, trying to find answers. All that does it create more anxiety. Just try not to think about it. Nothing you do between now and your appointment is going to make any difference to the outcome. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, your not alone. Stay positive!
Sarah xx

Re: Scared!

Thanks xxx

 

I'm 27 and feel like I can't enjoy anything at the moment - fingers crossed for some relief in 12 days time xx

Re: Scared!

Kate

 

I just wanted to echo ann's post.

 

Let us know how you get on and we will be thinking about you xxx

Re: Scared!

Thanks so much!

 

I'm trying to keep busy but just struggling through the days at the moment!

 

My appointment is on Tuesday 30th May so only 12 days to go - will report back after my appointment.

 

Thanks so much for all your Support xxx 

Re: Scared!

Hi Kate

I know exactly how you are feeling. I've also been referred and time seems to be standing still waiting for the appointment to come round.

My anxiety has been crippling and has definitely been made worse by Googling. I am just trying to get through it day by day but am really struggling. Good luck with the waiting and your appointment.
Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Scared!

Hi Kate

Just wanted to send you a gentle hug x

Ann is totally right. Just because you've been referred, it does not necessarily mean BC. And definitely avoid googling! It always makes me feel much worse.

Sue x

Re: Scared!

hi Kate
What you're feeling is quite common when referred to the breast clinic, but it's absolutely right you have been, as only the breast clinic can sort it out for you.
Easier said than done, but try to carry on as normal & distract yourself from those anxious thoughts, honestly, bc is the least likely reason for your symptoms, with most women on here going on to get the all clear. Mostly, there is a benign reason for the breast change.
IF on the off chance it is bc, then treatment outcomes are excellent now with the vast majority of us now getting on with our lives after treatment. It's certainly not the end of the world!
Just to add, that in managing anxiety, avoid general googling as it only makes it worse for no reason & changes nothing. Use this site if you need any info or come back here.
let us know how you get on
ann x


Scared!

I went to see the doctor today - I've been suffering with breast pain (almost like a prickling) on and off for 3 months now. The doctors have always thought it is muscular, I went back today and they have referred for me to go the breast clinic. 

 

The breast is slightly sensitive but the doctor can't feel any lumps - she says she is referring me because of the length of time.

 

I'm so scared, I feel like this will be the longest 2 weeks, I feel like my world is standing still. I just keep thinking what if - I have a 10 year old and my anxiety is going crazy.

 

My family think I have become obsessed with it 😞