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Scared

38 REPLIES 38
Lemongrove
Member

Re: Scared

I'm so sorry my dear. I have faith, so I believe your Mum is up in heaven telling everyone how proud she is of her wonderful son.

kayh317
Member

Re: Scared

Gingerbread,

so sorry to hear about your Mum. My thoughts are with all the family.

Karen x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

I'm her Son, she would have had a good laugh at that - she did say I nagged alot 🙂

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

So very sad and sorry to hear of your mum's passing. You have been a wonderful and caring daughter and my sincere condolences are with you and your Dad and the rest of your family. God bless you all.

Dianne x x x

dotchas
Member

Re: Scared

Bless you gingerbear.I understand how you feel,I lost my Mum to lung cancer 7 years ago and cannot forget how she suffered.What helped me at the time was to think "if someone said we can bring your Mum back but she will still be poorly" I would have to decline that offer as I could not make her suffer anymore.I hope you find a way through this most awfull time.Be kind to yourself,take it easy and feel free to come on here for support.
Love n hugs
Dot
xxxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

She was an absolute warrior and although it happened so quickly and hurt so much she is no longer struggling with chemotherapies that didn't work and hospital trips weekly. She had no quality of life and we were naive, we just thought it needed chemo to work but it was far more aggressive than we knew.

love her more than anything, miss her so much - she was told repeatedly as she passed over.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

God bless you. I know exactly how you feel.

It will get better and you will remember with love.

Mal x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

sending love and sincere condolences to you and your family gingerbear. You must have been a wonderful support to your mum
monicaxxxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

I'm so sorry, gingerbear. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. RIP pipkins, free from pain x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

So sorry Gingerbear, love and condolences to you and your family..
RIP Pipkin xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Dear Gingerbear

So sorry to hear your dear mum lost her fight to this evil disease, but as someone who also has lung mets, I am pleased that her final days were pain-free and that she wasn't scared - It gives me hope that I may be the same when my time comes.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Linda
x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbread

So sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Fliss x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbread,
God bless you all, so sorry to here your sad news,another very brave lady taken too soon.
Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

Love and hugs to you

Isabelle xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,
I'm thinking of you and your family. Love and condolences, RIP pipkin
nicky

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,so sorry to hear about your Mum.
Thinking of you, Emma xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,

My condolences to you and your family at this very difficult time. RIP Pipkin

Louise

josyemarie
Member

Re: Scared

You and mam are in my thoughts and prayers xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

So sorry to hear about another brave lady losing to this horrible/nasty disease.
My sincere condolences.

Tricia xx.

belinda
Member

Re: Scared

Rest in Peace pipkins..take care gingerbear, with love..xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbread

I am so sorry and thinking of you.

Love Anne x x

sandra4
Member

Re: Scared

Gingerbread, Such a sad time for you and your Dad, my heart goes out to you for the loss of you Mum, no words can help at this time. Just be close to one another as your Mum would have wanted.
My Love and Thoughts are with you
Sandra xxx

dotchas
Member

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,so sorry.Love n hugs to you and your family.
Dot
xxx

Midge
Member

Re: Scared

So sorry gingerbear. I hope you and your dad take care of each other.debxx

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Scared

Dear gingerbear

On behalf of the moderation team here at BCC please accept our sincere condolences on the loss of your mum, (forum user pipkins).
Our thoughts are with you. Take care.

Jo, Facilitator

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

RIP Mum, you gave it all you had.

dotchas
Member

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,so sorry to hear about your Mum.All you can hope for is for her to be comfortable and at peace.Her suffering will soon be over,but she will know how much loved she is.You are a loving and caring daughter ,she will be so proud of you.
Love n hugs
Dot
xxx

belinda
Member

Re: Scared

Hello Gingerbear, I've spoken to your Mum quite a few times here. I'm so very sorry to hear this news. I just wanted to let you know you are both in my thoughts. I hope your Mum will remain pain free and at peace.
Love to you both.xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,

I am so sorry about your mum but am pleased that she is surrounded by the love of her family and her lovely caring daughter.

Sending love and hugs Anne x x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Hello Gingerbear,
So sorry to hear that your Mum is so poorly, thinking of you both at this very difficult time,

With love and hugs for you both,

Isabelle xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbear,

am thinking about you and your Mum, my thoughts aand prayers are with you at this very difficult time

Louisexxxxxx

Midge
Member

Re: Scared

Hi you and your mum are in my thoughts and prayers. Gentle hugs. Deb

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Things have declined rapidly.

My Mum, or pipkins on this forum is unlikely to make it through the night.

She is comfortable, happy and is feeling ready, she said to us 'This is the end'. She is not scared.

We love her more than anything and she will never be forgotten.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

She has lorezepam too, little blue pill when she has the anxiety.

I've been told that she is on slow release morphine in the AM and in the PM and her oxygen saturation is steady at 88-90, sometimes a bit greater. She has been on 10L of oxygen which 3/4 of the max air on the thing & she is getting nebulizers/salbuterol.

I am scared so bad, today we had the question would you want to be resuscitated if things were to get worse. She is getting the head oncologist visiting on Tuesday to deliver the news on treatment which, it just doesn't look great based on the general trend.

I am struggling to keep myself together, it feels like they want pain prevention rather than fight the cancer. I am thinking that Taxol is not going to be a goer anymore and... basically that is that, no other options.

I want to argue and say give her something less intensive but... what can i say, capceitebine didn't work, vinorelbine hasn't worked either, she had FEC & taxotere 2005 so that's not going to happen either. I want to go with an armory of things we can do to fight this but I just fear it'll be overuled and told it'll be bad for her quality of life... when not breathing is possibly the worst thing ever - My Mum wants to fight this not lay at home give up, she has said this would be the last fight though.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Gingerbear

Morphine was what I was thinking of when I posted but I didn't want to scare you. Its a great drug for controlling breathlessness and most certainly does not mean its the end of the road. If your Mum has any panic episodes, 0.5-1mg of lorazepam under the tongue is very effective.

Julia xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Dear gingerbear, I'm so sorry to hear that your mum is so poorly and know this must be a really difficult time for you. I wanted to let you know that morphine is very effective at reducing the feeling of breathlessness, as well as pain-I have also taken it when the cough from my lung mets has been particularly bad. Morphine doesn't mean your mum has been written off. Can you talk to her palliative care team about your concerns?-there may also be a social worker attached to the team who can give you some practical advice about grants etc.Please let us know how you and your mum are getting on.
nicky

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

She's in nil pain, symptom control is... oxygen, steroids and rest.

It's really frustrating, i've not prepared anything like funeral plans and quite honesty, i don't have the money just to pay it up front. I'm scared for all the silly things like that but, I'm more scared because they're giving her morphine... when she has no pain, it's absolutely mind numbing - it's like THEY'VE given up whereas my mum hasn't.

I will check she's good and up for it but I feel the morphine, I love my mum and if she was in pain and/or at a point of no more... I'd say fine, but I really believe she has it in her and this is what hurts so much.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Hi gingerbear

This must be an awful time for you, your Mum and family. I totally agree with what AlexG has said. The Hospice is a great place to get symptom control. However, this can also be achieved in the home. I work as a community respiratory nurse specialist and see a fair few patients in a similar situation to your Mum. There are medications that can help reduce breathlessness and also pain, if your Mum has any. I strongly suggest you talk to the Palliative care team. I know they can be quite blunt at times but they are experts in symptom control. If you want to pm me, please dont hesitate.

Take care

Julia xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Scared

Have you considered finding your mum a place in a hospice? They are much better at providing suitable care for both the patient and their family. The medics at a hospice can prescribe the right balance of drugs and are expert at giving palliative care. Do have a word with your GP and ask to be referred.

I wish you strength.

AlexG

Guest user
Not applicable

Scared

My Mum was diagnosed with breast secondaries to her lungs, recently with the bouts of hot weather she has been affected very badly. She started taxol just over a month ago and has only had 1 cycle so far.

She was admitted on Sunday evening and her breathing is very poor still, she has been given steroids and has shown some improvement in how she is since Tuesday but her breathing has not improved.

I am scared, the palliative care team from the hospital have organised a bed to come home, social services & a bigger oxygen tank.

The Oncologist says if she shows improvement she will be allowed treatment and other options do exist but it depends on how Mum is. I asked my Mum does she want treatment and she has said she thinks she should go for it.

Everything is changing so quickly, I don't know what to do - my Dad & I are struggling, she hasn't been able to take her Oxygen mask off and it's doubled in how much she's getting since Sunday. I'm scared this is it, no prognosis has been made but with all the efforts to give us the palliative care who, I have to say hurt my feelings more than seeing my Mum like this with lack of tact they've shown - it looks to be fairly soon.

Mum says she's feeling better and to an extent I believe her but I'm scared the Oncologist is going to say no more. The spread is affecting her breathing as it's pressing upon the pipe, no chemo means a slow painful decay with poorer breathing... it's hardly ethical to send her home unable to get her breath? It seems like a catch 22.