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Scared

44 REPLIES 44
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Sorry re my comment about questions - i meant will you get a chance to ask any more questions that you may have as a result of going away to think.

S x
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

At least he has given you time to consider and make a decision - do you have a chance to ask questions ? I guess they are doing this just a precaution to put your mind at risk and remove any chance of what this could be?

Let us know how you get on.
Sending hugs again.

S xx
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi shaz, thank you for remembering me , met with the surgeon today, he said that there were no cells visible in the sample but it is not 100% guarantee so they would like to remove all the milk ducts, I was a little shocked so he has given me time to think about it, he was so helpfully answering all my questions but I'm so undecided about what to do. 

Hope you are well and having fun.

Thank you again xx

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Hope all goes ok today Nicky x
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Fingers crossed Nicky, you are right re the odds.

Let us know how you get on, I will be loitering on here...keep busy, sending you lots of hugs.

S x
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi shaz , that sounds lovely and you are right, having a scare brings home the importance of time with people you love. We must make the most of everything.

Unfortunately my sample results won't be in till next Thursday , the waiting is very hard. 

But I'm thinking that the odds are in my favour so fingers crossed.

 

N xx

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Nicky

Florida for us, holiday of a lifetime trip, with the kids. My eldest won't want to come with us for much longer as uni beckons. And we've always wanted to go. And given the last two weeks, I think this puts into perspective how important family time and making memories is.

Is your appointment tomorrow?

S
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Thank you both, it's lovely to have the support. I hope by next week to be joining you on the holiday hunt, have put plans on hold for now , but fingers crossed I can use the internet for a new search . 

Where are you both planning on going ? Xx

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Good luck from me too Nicky....I will also be checking in.

Janey enjoy your hol - I am now planning mine with hubby and kids.

S x
Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Good luck Nicky, I will check in again next week to see how you have got on, fingers crossed for you too. Try not to worry too much, hard I know, and keep busy. I've got a holiday booked with my husband for August, so now looking for a great bikini lol!!!!!!!
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Fantastic news Shaz , im so pleased for you.

so thats you two all clear, just hope mine will be the same next thursday, fingers crossed.

hope you both have a lovely weekend. time for a few drinks to make up for all the stress, and book a holiday.

hugs to all xx

Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Shaz, I am so pleased for you, it really is so amazing to be given the all clear. I am now going out to continue with my race for life training which I had put on hold whilst waiting xxxxxxx
Enjoy the rest of your day xxxx
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Hi ladies.

I read yr posts whilst I was waiting to see why I got called for a second set of mammograms and yr kind works made me want to cry, but had to hold it together in the waiting room.

Anyway, after the mamms, was sent for an US and the lovely doctor said that it was just a precaution as she was sure everything was fine (and explained why the extra mamms).

Anyway have been given the all clear, so am putting the odd contour on my breast down to my age. They were so reassuring about having done exactly the right thing, and I didn't waste their time.

I know some people have had less than positive experiences, but I could not fault the way I have been treated by the NHS, and I think I would feel that whatever the outcome was.

Best wishes to all you ladies who are still waiting, and sending virtual hugs to you as we know how awful the waiting can be.

Shaz
Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Thank you girls, just had a great nights sleep and now working 11 days without a break so I needed it lol
Good luck today Shaz, let us know how it goes xxxxx big virtual hugs to you xxxx
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Thats great news Janey, enjoy the rest of your week worry free xx

 

good luck today Shaz, thinking of you , let me know how you get on xx

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Oh Janey have been thinking about you today, so glad you have good news.

Best of luck with the business.

Shaz x
Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Good news for me, I have two cysts which are benign and no further treatment required! Big hugs to all you ladies and good luck on your journey xx
Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Hi thank you for your good wishes tomorrow, I've had a lovely day, shopping this morning for some gorgeous platform sandals and then a lovely long walk with our dog, then tea out with my in laws which turned into a bit of a night out lol so all in all not much time to fret xxx
Tomorrow I have to work until lunch then home , quick shower then the hospital with my husband....then hopefully I can draw a line under all of this and look forward to holidays and a busy time at work. God bless every one and fingers crossed we all have good news. Thank you lovely ladies for the support xx
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Ah Nicky thank you.

Yes Janey best wishes and lots of hugs for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.

Just had a lovely evening at the pub with some friends so a well needed distraction. On the way home tried to start a conversation with my other half re the hol and what should happen if this should turn pear shaped! His answer was that we will just cancel and he isn't going to stop planning because of something that might not be.

He's right I know, but it's a lot of money and it doesn't make it any easier!

Still work tomorrow and Tuesday won't come soon enough. And what a lovely day it was - sat for 2 hours watching my son play cricket and I now look like a panda under my sunglasses! Gave everyone a giggle!

Hope you lovely ladies have had a lovely weekend.

Xx
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi ladies, I hope you have all had a good weekend.

Janeyg good luck at your appointment tomorrow,, I will be thinking of you and . Praying all is ok for you.

Shaz I wish you luck for Tuesday. And will be thinking of you too.

Hugs to all xx

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Well my pessimism is returning......and hubby is doing more planning for hol. I have had to retreat to the bedroom as I can't stand being around it all....Tuesday can't come quick enough.

Red roses sound lovely Janey...and fab news about your business. It will keep your mind focused I am sure. Being at work has helped me, and I never thought I would hear myself say I would rather be at work than at home! For now anyway.

Hope everyone is managing to enjoy their weekend.

X
Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Hi ladies how are we all whilst waiting?? My husband brought me red roses!!!!!!! I've got the busiest two weeks coming up, I started my own business two years ago and it's been really tough but finally, fingers crossed we have the busiest time ahead so fingers crossed I get the all clear on Monday and I can enjoy my business beginning to thrive for once!!!!!! Have a good week end everyone xx
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi ladies, my other half managed to change the subject every time I mentioned my appointment but I think he is just scared, but after my appointment he wanted to know all about it, I hope it has reassured him that the duct is coming out , I know it has made me feel better. Everyone at the clinic were great, very relaxed but answered all my questions, I did have a close friend with me to ask anything I forgot, and of course we had a nice lunch after for medicinal purposes . Now it's just fingers crossed time while waiting for results .

I hope all goes well at your appointments 

Hugs to all xx

Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Lol that's men for you! Perhaps he is in denial too, it easier to pretend nothing is happening or perhaps it hasn't really sunk in what you are going through. My husband is usually the pessimist, however he is being quite the opposite and being incredibly positive!! He knows I'm worried but he's good at keeping the conversation away from the lump unless I bring the subject up. Let's enjoy the sunshine and perhaps a nice cold glass of wine or two at the week end xxxxxxx
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

And just to add my husband is proving to be not very helpful. Asked me today if I had my appointment this morning! So clearly does not feel it is necessary to come with me and obviously thinks it is just one of those things.

I shouldn't be surprised about this either, had tried talking to him about my worries over the hol, kids and what this could be, but get absolutely no response.

Could scream at the frustration of it all! Sorry to rant...

X
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Nicky

Day surgery does sound positive, here's hoping the results are too.

Janey, this waiting is hard isn't it? Strangely, I seem to be in a state of denial. The initial fear seems to have faded, and that scares me, as I know I will then be in for shock if my appointment doesn't go 'to plan'.

I have kept myself busy and upbeat, and that is so not like me, as I am glass half empty kind of gal, pessimistic to the very last. So why has my pessimism left me now? Odd - I am worrying about not worrying, so I suppose it's never ending.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine.

Shaz
Janeyg
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Nicky great news for you xx my clinic appointment is Monday 8th June, as each day goes by I just feel even more sick with worry but I'm trying not to let it show! Only my hubby and best friend know about my lump. I'm trying to remain, busy but find myself staring into space at the checkout etc and everyone around me thinking I've gone insane lol!!!!!!!! I've got lots on work wise, which I'm not sure is good as it's my own business and I can't afford to make mistakes but then Saturday afternoon and Sunday I'm going to chill and try to enjoy the sunshine 😀
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi everyone, well my appointment was this morning, I had a mammogram , ultrasound and a sample taken, now another two week wait for my results, they have said that the duct will have to be removed whatever the sample comes back as, but that is a nice simple day surgery, so all fairly positive so far.

How are you all feeling ? 

Berora
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Shaz, 

 

Try not to worry too much - based on statistics most lumps seen at breast clinics turn out to be harmless. I'll keep fingers crossed for you. Smiley Happy

 

Berora 

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Berora

Thank you fir your kind words and ideas. Am so glad you got the all clear, that must be such a relief.

I am trying to get myself motivated to get up for work but can't seem to put the iPad down. This forum has become my comfort blanket over the weekend.

Best wishes to everyone,
Shaz
Berora
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Shaz,

 

I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish - it really does feel awful. I think the best way to get through the wait before the appointment is to keep yourself as busy as you can - work, housework, what have you, just to keep your mind occupied. I had my breast clinic appointment last Friday, thankfully was given all clear, but the two weeks I had to wait felt like the longest weeks in my life. Some days I would wake up and the first thoughts that came to my head were all doom and gloom. I spoke to a lady on the Helpline you can see on this site, had a really good chat with her about what to expect during the appointment and that helped me calm down a little. Also, I started listening to various guided meditations tracks I found on YouTube (I'm not posting a link not to upset the Forum rules) and they were extremely helpful in dealing with my anxiety. I never did any meditation before in my life, but I was driving myself crazy with worry, so was prepared to try anything to keep gloomy thoughts at bay. It really did help. Try searching for 'anxiety' or 'relaxation' meditation tracks on YouTube and loads of stuff will come up. Some are just lovely music to listen to, but the ones I found most helpful were the 'guided meditation' type, which means that you listen to the music  and someone's voice telling you to imagine various images and bring in positive  thoughs. It doesn't matter if you have never meditated before, all you need to do is sit comfortably, close your eyes, listen to the music and hopefully forget your worries for a little while at least. Good luck with your appointment, I really hope it's going to be good news for you.

Berora

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Afternoon ladies.

I have realised it's the mornings that hit me the most, when waking up and suddenly remembering...

Anyway, had a very lazy day watching TV with hubby.....a pile of ironing that needs sorting and doing, but that can wait for another day.

Kids getting very excited about a holiday we booked that we are due to go on in about 8 weeks, that I am trying not to think about.....would hate to have to tell them we can't go. But that's jumping ahead I know, but its so hard not to.

Back to work tomorrow so this should take my mind off things too.

Hope you have all had a good day.

S
Kittkatt
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Nicky,
At my first clinic appointment I had mammograms, ultrasound and biopsies taken. After all that my surgeon told me he "expected" it would be cancer. That was confirmed one week later when they were able to tell me the type and hormone receptor status of the tumour. I know many ladies seem to wait a lot longer for results which must be really hard. Being of an "it'll be fine" mindset, I was floored! Then the conveyor belt starts! My way of coping was to get as much information as possible. I wrote every question on my phone as they occurred to me (2 to 4am being a favourite time😁) since I would have had no chance of remembering them all in the stress of appointments.
Hugs,
Kitt
X
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Good morning ladies, I hope you a slept well.

Well done shaz for going out and letting your hair down , even without a diagnosis you start to look at life differently, makes you appreciate all the small stuff you take for granted.

Kitt I'm so pleased you are doing so well, how long did it take for you to get a diagnosis after your initial assessment, it seems to vary allot? 

Hi Frances how are you this morning .

Frances1985
Member

Re: Scared

Kitt, your BC sounds like my mum's. She had a stage 2, grade 1 tumour with no node involvement. She had a lumpectomy and rads and, fingers crossed, will be celebrating 5 years clear in August. Hope you are keeping well. Xx
Frances1985
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Shaz,

Not knowing is scary and I am not surprised that you feel the way you do. I am 29 and went through the whole scan, biopsy etc process in October and was thankfully found to have a benign fibroadenoma. However, I am now being re-referred to the breast clinic after experiencing horrible pain round the fibroadenoma area. I was expecting to go to the GP and walk away with prescription painkillers, but the GP did an exam and said she wanted me to go back to the breast clinic for a second opinion! Argh! I shouldn't be worried really but there is that little bit of niggling doubt there, especially with my less than favourable family history! Really glad you went out and had a good time, keeping busy definitely works now and again. I'm a teacher and it is such a busy job it certainly keeps me from thinking about boobs all day! Lol! Hope you feel ok. Xx
Kittkatt
Member

Re: Scared

Morning lovelies,
I'm doing great, thanks, Nicky. I was fortunate enough to have a smallish (18mm) tumour of the most common type - invasive ductal - which was removed with clear margins and no node involvement so no chemo required. It was early stage and low grade. Radiotherapy was fine - tired with a hot peeling boob at the time but totally manageable - and I have no side effects from my tamoxifen. So all in all, if I had to have this thing then things couldn't have gone better.
Shaz, great that you managed a good night out. Sometimes plastering a smile on our faces is the last thing we feel like but actually the fake becomes real and you do get a wee vacation from the all-consuming thought of breast cancer.
Thinking of you both.
Kitt
X
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Nicky1 and Kittkatt

Thanks both for your kind words. I am in awe at the amount of support given on here by those that have been diagnosed and are going through treatment, as well as those waiting for diagnosis/treatment. You are all so selfless in giving support to others when you need it just as much yourselves, so thank you.

I am posting late as have had a night out with hubby (who knows my predicament) and friends (who don't). It was a fab night so at least I was still able to put a smile on my face.

Nicky I totally agree with you about worrying about how this will all affect the children. I want to cry everytime I look at mine ...not so scared for myself really.

Off for a well earned sleep now.

S x
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi shaz and hi kitt,

Shaz I know just how you feel , I go between being very happy dashing around getting on with things to moping around feeling fragile distracted and worried. I have to say that I am more worried about my family than I am about myself, but I think that is probably the same for most ladies. I keep hoping that my nipple will stop bleeding before Thursday , ever hopfull , but am also seeing changes to the shape of my breast now , note to self --- stop looking at them !! 

 

Kitt how are you feeling, is the treatment going well for you, I am so grateful for the support, nothing like girl power is there .

Huge hugs to you both xx

Kittkatt
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Shaz and Nicky,
The waiting is horrible, isn't it! Do keep reminding yourself that more ladies come away from breast clinics with good news than bad. Obviously with the nature of this forum, most of us on here got the news that none of us ever dreamt we could cope with but actually, once you know what you're dealing with we are as tough as we need to be.
The medical teams out there are amazing and great support on here too when you need someone who has been there themselves. Hopefully you won't need to join us but no part of my treatment was anything like as bad as I imagined when I was at your stage last October.
Huge hugs,
Kitt
Xx
Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Thank you Nicky1 - trying to keep busy but have no enthusiasm for anything - but when I do get going it does actually take my mind off things - catch 22.

Hope you're keeping busy too. I agree reading other people's stories does provide comfort and reassurance. I am constantly glued to my phone at the moment, just reading.

I was very lucky that I didn't have to wait long to get my appointment confirmed and whilst it seems ages away it isn't really. I also know that as time goes on I am going to become more nervous. So no more googling, and trying not to keep self checking - I will keep the appointment whatever happens!

Hope it's good news for you Thursday.

S
nicky1
Member

Re: Scared

Hi shazbadd, your not rambling, and you have nothing to apologise for, all of us waiting for appointments are feeling the same emotions , and it is good to share your concerns with others. I have found reading people's journeys on here both reassuring and comforting. I have my appointment on Thursday and am hopefully that everything will be ok , I'm just glad they see you quickly after referal.x

Shazbadd
Member

Re: Scared

Thanks Jo.
Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Scared

Hi Shazbadd

 

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, I am sure your fellow forum users will be along soon with some much needed support.  I am sure they will all tell you that the majority of breast issues are not breast cancer but it is always the best policy to get any changes to your breasts checked out as soon as you can.

 

If you need to talk to someone in confidence then please do not hesitate  to contact our helpline team, the staff are here to support you.  Calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2

 

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

Shazbadd
Member

Scared

A week ago I did a breast check, triggered by the photo being shared on social media sites of a lady that had a 'dent' in her breast.

To my horror I found that the contour on my right breast changed ever so slightly when I lifted my arms. Scared, I got an appointment with my Doctor who had a look and was amazed that I had noticed it. she had a good feel around but couldn't find anything. She did say she would be honest if she did find something. Anyway after a few seconds she decided that she would refer me for an ultrasound just to put my mind at rest (I was crying before I even sat in the chair in he surgery!). Trying to stay positive as my appointment is on Tuesday 9th June.

Am all over the place one minute and fine the next.

Sorry for rambling when I haven't even been diagnosed with anything. Just wanted to write everything down really. I have been lurking here for a few days to avoid reading any more on Google.

S