September Sizzlers

[Jill1998]

Welcome Egret Jennifed was doing the breathing technique,she may be able to give you some advice.I was a left sider too but luckily my heart was not near enough for for to do the breathing technique,rads a lot if prodding and poking and yes a bit like going to the dentist but it means the end of your treatment is in sight and every day you go it is one less.There are still a couple of people going through rads on the thread and some staring soon.Dont worry we will keep you company .

[mf]

Welcome, Egret. So sorry you are going through this after enduring all that chemo. It sounds awful. You must be dreading going to the hospital. I would tell the radiographers how bad it is so they can find a different mouthpiece if possible - I assume they have some for children, for example. If not, they might be able to tell you where you can buy one. Good luck.

[familytree]

Sounds horrendous June, poor you x I would definitely ask for smaller mouth piece. It's bad enough without pain as well. Hope it gets sorted. Sending love Lorna x

[Egret]

Hi!  Mid-September Sizzler joiner (from April 2015 Chemo).

I was explained that my heart needed saving from unecessary radiation by lifting it through a "breathing technique" - hahaha - more like a dentist session than an opportunity for meditation! OUCH.  

Anyone else having this? My lump was right above my heart, by the cleavage, on the L breast.

I started rads on 14 September (after 6 chemo cycles) I am going to get 4 weeks ending 9 October.  

I know, some of you srarted in August and are thinking of holidays or/and resuming your life. I hope there are still some like me, starting now; and that the one finishing now could give a tip or two.

I get a tube inserted into my mouth (hard plastic between teeth and lips hurting my gum) a clip on my nose so that I am forced to breath through my mouth via the tube and I have to look all the time at the computer screen monitoring my breath. Well it sucks. Of course I have lines on my naked chest and hands up. The tube in my mouth is VERY uncomfortable. Just try breathing through the mouth via a tube (swallowing saliva is a feat, at the dentist at least there is a dental assistant helping with this). 25 minutes adjustment + treatment is not "a short period" while your gum hurts because the hard plastic put between lips and teeth (upper and lower teeth) is "one-size-fits all" and I have a small mouth! Where does all this plastic go when I don't have the space? Yes of course, into my gum!!!

My rads sessions are not what I thought it would be. The chemo was awful and the rads might be 20 days at the dentist. Today, when the tube was inserted, i had tears out of pain. Is that normal? This is going to be horrid, far from any "calm" meditative situation.The "breathing technique" is as invasive as possible. 

The only good thing is the hospital is only 15 minutes drive from home. I will speak to the nurses about getting a smaller hard plastic mouth piece, because if my gums bleed, I won't be able to continue, and this realisation comes after two days only! 

Well done to those finishing!  Egret x

[Sharnie]

Hi June, yes I live a few miles out of Norwich. I finished my rads four weeks ago tomorrow. I couldn't take Tamoxifen, had terrible side effects. Felt awful, really depressed, couldn't sleep and had bladder problems to name a few! Just started on Letrozole so will see how I get on with that. Since I stopped taking Tamoxifen I have started to feel much more like my old self so proves it was the tablets. I have healed well too and my skin is now just about recovering from the rads. Now off to bed as I have early start at work tomorrow. Goodnight! 

[catchpole]

Hi Sharnie,

Glad you enjoyed it do you live not far from Norwich,its a ;lovely city, im originally fromSuffolk coast but i worked here and when my dad died i moved here permanently,would never move back.

Havent talked to friend who invited me yet, shes oftf on a completely different scene this weekend, 40th birthday in Marbellla.! But saw other people i knew on facebook who went  seemed to have all said had great time,I love 80s music but as said not into chemicl loos, fast food or standing about all day, Also being barely 5 foot i cant see a damm thinglol. 

Are you still having rads, i do think having cancer is very emotional, i found just after i finished my rads one day when i had been feeling fine, i just spent all day sobbing,but luckily not too many problems on tamoxifen and oncologist says im healing well and all ok. 

Good you had good time,  weather seems much worse now at least wasnt too cold at weekend, 

Junex

[Sharnie]

Hi June yes it was Reload festival. It did take my mind off everything but I got very emotional on the last night and started crying but have great friends who supported me - we hugged it out and I was fine! I have been positive throughout my treatment and think I need to let some emotion out every now and then! X

[catchpole]

Hi Sharnie,

You must have been to the Reload festival in my city Norwich, all the acts you mentioned were there, Some friends of mine went on the Saturday, they did ask me if i wanted to go,but im not really a festival sort of person, not keen on burgers or chemical loos, bit of a luxury lover me. Heard music was good, yes think x all ages go, my old manager from work went and shes 60 next year,but i didnt like them when 20 so  i dont think would now. Glad you had a good time and it took your mind off C,  Junex

[Sharnie]

My hair just needs cutting - didn't notice any problem whilst on tamoxifen so will see what happens with the Letrozole. Goodnight- really tired now! X

[familytree]

I was told it would thin with letrozole and do seem to be shedding hair every time I brush but it's thick anyway. Hoping enough to not notice .. never ending side effects! X

[Jill1998]

Sounds great , has your hair gone crap cos of the Tamoxifen?I keep expecting to wake up bald.

[Sharnie]

I loved the Boomtown Rats in my youth! There were some good and some not so good acts on! Billy Ocean was great and Howard Jones but Bucks Fizz and Limahl (Kajagoogoo) were not great. So many people were in random fancy dress and there were a lot of neon leg warmers and tutus about! I think I just had such a good time I didn't want it to end and that's what made me upset! My friend keeps sending me photos from the weekend - it's great to look back on. I was lucky with the loos as my friends bought me an upgrade to use vip loos - so glad we did, no queues and they were cleaned after each use, they also had a mini pamper area where you could do your hair and make up! I just kept a hat on most of the weekend to cover my hair up! 

[Jill1998]

Glad you had good weekend Sharon,I'm a big Boomtown Rats fan,was a bit of a groupie in the 70s and 80s!!!

[familytree]

Sounds a great weekend sharnie. I did V fest last year. Besides the vile loos I lived it. Always been into music. Keep going you're never too old x

[Sharnie]

Hi all - had a fab weekend, the tent didn't leak thank goodness. It was such a chilled out festival due to the fact it was eighties based and everyone was older and just having a great time. There was such a good atmosphere- I didn't want to come home apart from having a nice hot shower and proper bed. My air bed decided to deflate each night so I didn't sleep much! Got really emotional while watching the Boomtown Rats - it's weird when these moments bubble to the surface, drinking lots of beer probably didn't help! My friends were great though and we hugged it out! 

Hope your bra burning went well Jill! My skin seems almost back to normal now. I'm going to start taking Letrozole tonight so will see how that goes - just hope I don't get really down again. Anyway off for any early night - I'm really getting too old for all this partying - my knees and legs are killing me - too much dancing! Tried riding on these crazy Bulls that go side to side and roll backwards and forwards - such a laugh but am covered in bruises - my mind is still 18!!! Night all - sleep well xx

[Jill1998]

Hope you have perfected the machine Marcella, bring the prototype when we meet up and we can decide how to pitch it on dragons den.I really think it will be a best seller on Amazon this Xmas!!!

[familytree]

Ohbthats hilarious mf.. couldn't make it up could you. Bless him x

[mf]

With you all on the men front - my eldest son told me I hadn't been a barrel of fun recently!!! Time to get my special machine out.

[familytree]

Im taking Sept off see how I go. Got another month after that on full pay..Yes part of me thinks go back but bigger part saying sod it! X

[Jill1998]

I am going to take another 4 weeks I think.I'm the same ,want to get back to normality really but I know I'm not right yet physically or mentally ,only finished rads Friday though.

[Jennifed]

When are you back to work? I've taken September off - part of me wants to get back and the other half is going "no!!!!"

[Jill1998]

I guess like others have said we just need to accept this will take time and everyone seems to feel pretty similar.I have hit Amazon a little bit too much this weekend too!!

[Jennifed]

Ah Jill - I'm 2 weeks from the end of rads and my nipple is still sore and my boob is like a soggy naan bread. I feel quite upset by its appearance which is probably really shallow of me. On the good side - the spotty rash has nearly gone. The double base cream the chemist gave me really helped with that. Jennifer

[Jennifed]

Monica - my old man is the same. The weather is driving me nuts too. I've resorted to Internet shopping,

[manathu]

Jill you make me laugh so much.

Monica

[Jennifed]

Hi everyone - weather terrible here in London and after a morning ironing and watching day time T.V I was overtaken by a wave of exhaustion and a mood nose-dive when I remembered why I was wasn't working and why I haven't got much energy.  Signed on and saw all your comments about the men and I'm laughing that they are all so similar.  I think the " you had it, they dealt with it, it's gone, pull yourself together" attitude is pretty widespread - they don't want to think about or talk about the "what if" because it's too damn scary to them too.  Trouble is that there is no escape from thoughts of "what if" for us and they don't get that.  I'm trying yoga and meditation to try and achieve a brighter perspective - trouble is that I'm so knackered that I keep falling asleep in the sessions! 

[Jill1998]

I've broken a few toes(Im pretty accident prone) it's very painful.

[familytree]

Well I'm still waiting for anti depressant to kick in! It's the weirdest time for all the reasons mentioned. I agree with ange, we have to accept it and allow ourselves the time it takes to get over the trauma we have all been through and stop beating ourselves up about not feeling overjoyed and ready for the world again. It is what it is, no one watching on can see what's happening to us internally however much they try. So ignore the 'oh your better now' and go at your own pace without any pressure...I am x

[tweeks123]

Laughing here jill same here ive still got sore toe still cant get shoes on (sure its broken )..had crutches first afternoon then shuffled about carried o as normal no wo der it wont repair..and to top it all off my husband was goi g to work early hours sat o end of ved to put socks on and sat right on my sore toe I wanted to cry and scream ...Oh If the shoe was on thee other foot ...
christine x

[Jill1998]

They really do have a low boredom threshold when it comes to illness,doesn't matter if it is life threatening or not!!!My husband was the same when I broke my leg,first week got waited on, second service started to deteriorate ,third week I was making the tea stood on one leg and pushing it along the floor on a tray to get it to the table!!

[tweeks123]

Most husbands havnt got a clue they say well you had it they caught it and now its finished ..meaning shut up about it its finished now ...Arrgghhhh Men !
thunk I might go have a biscuit now x
christine x

[Jill1998]

My G.P said it is like post traumatic stress, adrenaline gets you though the intense times when it calms down you get a slump and the reality if what has happened hits you.Pass the biscuits Monica....

[manathu]

Very wise words girls. Feel exactly the same. I said to my husband last night that I felt very  scared about the cancer coming back & he said "Well how long are you going to feel like this? " in quite an irritated way. I am having a new bathroom put in which is nice but the drilling & upheaval is driving me potty. The weather has been dreadful so I have been unable to go out today. Do'nt drive unfortunately. Moan over. Going to have a biscuit

Monica 

[Aura]

My god what you have all said is so true . Feeling deflated , fed up and if anouther person tells me well it's all over now you can get on with your life every one thinks well that's it now rads are over . Still we have to recover mentally and physically . Boob is red and sore today but skin has not blistered . True good job we have each other . take care ladies I'm going to watch some more day time TV . Took a liking to come dine with me and dinner date
Julie xx

[nappinggirl]

6 days after finishing...I've been very up and down.  On the physical side, still in some quite intense internal pain and taking ibuprofen, skin has gone bright red under my boob but dark brown in the rest of the rectangle, nipple area very sore.  Keep getting waves of 'foggy' sleep. Emotionally, sometimes I feel fine and other times I feel like a wave of depression has crashed over me.  I suppose finishing the physical side of ops and rads has now given way to the reality of what has happened in the last 6 months.  

I think we all need to just accept that what we have been through hasn't been some minor thing we will 'get over' any time soon.  It will no doubt be a long haul, a bit like grieving, it's a natural process that we need to go through, over which we have no control.  I'm so happy we have each other to talk to! xx

[Jill1998]

Yes it's a weird feeling,kind of scary to go back to the non cancer world,think it will take me longer mentally than physically.

[mf]

Well done for taking more time off, Jill. I felt quite low and shellshocked after rads finished - I felt that the reality I'd had cancer hit me at that point.

[Jill1998]

How is everyone who finished last week doing?I feel strangely flat,my boob is very sore and weeping from the blisters.Bought a powder to help disguise the thinning hair,very glamorous I feel at the moment !!!!Spoke to boss said will be a month before I can think of going back to work then they will agree phased return if I have fit note from G.P to support that.

[Jill1998]

Good news/bad news eh Marcella!!!Ive bought a supplement called biotin which is supposed to help and got some free samples of that stuff you recommended but your right it is ridiculously expensive .

[mf]

My hair is still falling out, even off the meds. Luckily I had quite a lot but it's well stringy now. On the plus side, the Pink Ribbon Pilates seems to be sorting out the lumpy scar tissue in my boob - it's smoother after just two classes and a few exercises at home. I can actually bear to touch it now. Also, I had a visit from a Macmillan "physical activity practitioner" (was referred by radiotherapy occupational health person). She's drawn up an exercise plan (v low key) and can work with me for up to a year.

[tweeks123]

my hair is thickening up again now ive stopped taking the tablets ..x
christine x

[Jill1998]

Just examining my new receding hairline, depressing ...

[tweeks123]

oh its not my phone then thanks x
christine x

[Jill1998]

Not a word today,all gone very quiet .

[tweeks123]

Hi ladies are you getting my comment ive had no emails from here all day today wondering if there is a problem x
christine x

[tweeks123]

your getting as bad as me julie
christine x

[Aura]

Ment nice to see her again

[Aura]

Will be nice to Claire again x

[Jill1998]

Wonder what the other diners will make of a table full of women talking about boobs???

[mf]

All fine by me - the more the merrier.