Your husband seemed to react just like my friend, i guess its their way of dealing and they care about you, ive no partner or kids,and my friends have been great cant thank them enough for showing they care when on own that is so appreciated. I feel sad when i hear people, some on here say on own and no friends, seems a lonely existance and very sad people feel that way, we must indeed count our blessings.
I hope you get good results too, my fellow norfolk person on here Sarah has same oncologist as me, she says there is a rads group on here, must check it out,
Saw oncologist today, nice man very helpful, said not worth me having chemo, as it would give me so little more chance, its not worth it as the strong dose id have to have to make any difference at all would possibly affect me badly as im so petite and slim, and he feels as im such a healthy person anyway apart from the cancer he thinks caused by my .long term HRT, it could make me a not so healthy person, he said if your other nodes affected i wouldnt have a choice but to say have it and if would help a lot,but as they were not, just not worth it, rads and pills will give you nearly as much protecion. My friend who has been so insistent i have it was there and shes happy too with his suggestions, she said afterwards, i care bout you a lot, i wanted you to have whatever, Thats nice when on own without a partner and kids, it makes a difference. to realise friends care, and i am lucky there. june
Yes im seeing oncologist tomorrow, amazed you havent seen me on here, im always commenting people must start saying that bloody woman with her opinions againlol. Im still thinking i dont want chemo, if its my choice,with the small margins ad unless oncologist says anything different i wnt change my mind My friend got upset other day and said i dont want anything to happen to you i want you to have everything to stop it coming back,i pointed out no guarantee that chemo will stop it,.and sometimes can make your health worse. Ihave to make decision.im having rads and drugs she insists she wants to come tomorrow, and i dont want to upset her and say no, ive another mutual friend coming to and she will be a calming influence.Rang breast cancer care they very helpful.june ,
Hope you dont mind me asking,,,, Just wondering how you doing? Any more news yet ? Friend safely secured to protect her and you from criminal charges for daft things said to someone in a stressy position like you ?
Just to support Magical Moon's post. Your friend isnt coping but you are. Please make your own decisions in due course on what is best for you.
O my goodness,. my friend has really gone overboard now, shes telling me we cant be friends amymore i sometimes dog sit her lovely dog, whom i adore she rang tonight am i doing it anymore as i seem to be someone she doesent know!. Today another friend rang and asked did i want to go to see Selma with her special deal for us "silvers!" tuesdays said yes but turned my phone off in cinema,great film by way, see if if you can. When got home my friends partner was round, as she couldnt get me on phone and hadsent him round to check i hadnt done anything silly! She knows the friend i went with we all used to work together, i told her what had happened, but went over head,. I cannot believe shes behaving this way. I said ive not really made final decision but shes convinced i have and am being "selfish". What the hell do you do or say.her partner said hes told her to back off too.june
Gah - curse of the **fat fingers, small keypad, and wee hours typing** - am sure you got the gist,,,!!
Gah - curse of the ** fat fingers, small keypad, and wee hours typing ** - am sure you got the gist,,,!!
Yes Boa im going that way too, b ut wont finally decide till seem the onocologist. I am havng serious problems with one of my friends, She says im being selfish not having chemo i should take every chance thrown at me, to live.I said im 67, and i agree pretty fit apart from this.But i dont have kids,i live alone, something i dont particularly like , i lived with my dad till he died at 98 its hard to be single in a coupled up world and most of my friends do have relationships and i often feel lonely on my own as it is, without coping with the trauma of chemo, friends however helpful, cant be there all the time. Im not a joiner, all these social groups for people on their own, given them a go, but not me.found them very clicqy, i miss work,my retirement wasnt planned. So why the hell would i put myself through chemo when it isnt necessary to give myself possible years more of a lonely existance i dont particularly enjoy anyway, Im not saying i want to give up on life im just not sure ive a glowing future to ,look forward to, If i was 47 id probably say yes i will have it,. But getting older and lonelier on my own, is it really worth it,.
Yes Daisy id wondered about the reduced idea Actually my neigbour was telling be about her sister, it wasnt breast cancer she had but some kind in her arm She has 3 lots of chemo, then couldn nt stand it, so stopped, shes still alive over over 25 years later,june
Hi Daisy, Unlike your mum ive never smoked, but i have heard so many stories of what people have gone through, reading about Carol McGivven who had to be hospitalized in a isolation ward cause of her wrecked immune system, I cant help thinking is it worth it, My immune system always been good, i dont want it wrecked, I was talking today to someone i know who had breast cancer 17 years ago, she had chemo had to, her lymph nodes were affected, but she says it wasnt so intense then, interesting that ! she didnt even lose her hair,shes fine now but she also says someone she knew who had it same time as her didnt have chemo, and shes still around and fine as well, So there we are, Like you i tend to think the same re the statistics, its figures not actual people. |Im going to work damm hard at it not coming back, my dad died at 98 of old age, im very like him in many ways, im even havbing wine free days , i only ever drank 1 glass a day and ive stopped HRT which i was on for many years due to fact my mum suffered very badly from osteoporois and i wanted to avoid it,that should help my chances to,. so im defintely wavering at moment, have over a week to consider it all. june
I know Boa, thats a but how i feel, i was dreading yesterdays meet as although ive healed up well from lump removal, you can hardly see where it was, and have n ever once felt ill i honestly thought my lymph nodes would be afffected i was so relieved when they were clear, guess the first one was doing its job, I know im lucky compared with many on here, ive still got my boobs with only a little scar, ive got to have rads and pills, and can decide on chemo myself, But i still feel in a quandry, will talk to someone the help line here next week, as have found them extremely helpful, Then see what oncologist has to say, my friend coming with me as has the gene in family, so knows a lot about it will be good support and will then finally decide, But im a pretty fit person for 67 with a good immune system, do i really want to wreck it for that small chance.,
I think it very hard to say what to do Sue, its a small margain isnt it and having chemo is no proof it wont come back, i know people who have been alive for years who didnt have it, and those who have and it did, sadly some of them no longer here, Hopefully talking to oncologist will help me make a more informed position,. Im taking a friend with me whos family has the gene, her mum sadly died of it and she had her own breasts removed at 25 to prevent it, as did her cousin, her sister is a survivor so she will hopefully be able to ask questions i might not think of. I was also a bit suprised my follow up appointment at clinic was a year, is that normal thought would be sooner.june
Saw surgeon today.all find with operation. but have the dillema do i or do i not have chemo. My earlystage cancer was grade 2, only showing M3 because of mitoric activity but in every other way grade 2 he said, obviously radio therapy and pills as HER2 neg, and only the first lymph node pos, rest removed and all clear anyway but glad gone. But chemo is up to me, only 5 % more margain of it not reoccurring in the 10 year period, In a way though pleased lymth nodes all clear was dreading this senario when i have to decide. Im 67 but a young 67, very healthy in every other way,never smoked, eat healhily, stopped HRT, and cut back on alcohol but was only a social drinker, come from a long living family, with no cancers, take plenty of exercise. Interested to hear others views and any who have been in same position as me. Chemo can be so debilitating, i .live alone. and as you get older can it affect you permanently. but what if june