Sick To My Back Teeth Of.................................

[Guest user]

Sorry, I forgot to say I am fed up to the back teeth with trying to disguise turkey in our meals.
Intend to give my lovely dogs an extra portion of it tonight to use it up!
Happy New Year to all,
Heather.xx

[Guest user]

Choccie, Just spotted your method of cooking gammon, COR! wish I had known about it before I did mine in the slow cook pot! Ours was lovely, but plain.... it calls for another gammon in a couple of weeks to try the cider and demarara recipe! Mmmm!
Heather.xx

[ChoccieMuffin]

Sick to my back teeth of...

Turkey. Just tucking into YET ANOTHER turkey sandwich.

The gammon was good though - boil a gammon in sweet cider then sprinkle with demarara sugar before roasting - delicious and it's all gone so nothing but turkey for today's sarnies.

Oh well, if that were all we had to moan about we'd be lucky people. (But do try the gammon!)

[moser]

Bird, I feel for you - I am sick of the number of hospitals i visited in my area for one thing or another - one for chemo, another for rads, yet a third to do my bone scan and a 4th to do my bone density scan. One day I had herceptin at one hospital in the morning and rds at another one 20 miles away in the afternoon! Oh yes, and my clinic appointments with my bc surgeon are at yet another hospital!

[Guest user]

Hi

Got to rant!!!! Got up early to get to hospital to have herceptin, get to hospital only to find that the drug isn't available, all to do with the b****y snow!!!!! In my head I was saying oh ffs what a waste of my s*****g time but out of my mouth came oh its ok, not too worry blah blah blah!!! Mind you its hard to say what I really feel cuz its not the nurses who I need to get cross with its the uk for being so very pathetic when it comes to snow!!!! So UK - you are pathetic and thanks for wasting my b****y time today. Grow a spine and some balls!!!%@&^%&!%^!%*£!!

Am sick to back teeth of people using the snow as an excuse for everything!! ArrrrrgggggghhhhH!!
Sick of the UK for being spineless
Also sick to back teeth of hospital appointments - I have three of them this week - THREE!!! this is preventing me from going to see my family who live 150 miles away!!!! Arrrgggghhhhh!

Hot flushes - more like boiling me alive flushes!!
Night sweats - duvet on duvet off duvet on duvet off ect.....

Feel better now 🙂
xx

[ChoccieMuffin]

Thank you Teresa and Cheryl. I need to call my BCN today anyway, to ask if I have to get my Mirena coil removed as my cancer is Pr+ so I'll ask her then.

[Mezzomamma]

Choccie Muffin, I know exactly what you're saying about waiting. On the one hand, I'm glad to have a recess from treatments over Christmas so I haven't had to miss out on the activities I most enjoy, but on the other hand I want to get the chemo over with. Waiting for times at each stage has been the worst, and the feeling of being in limbo--not knowing whether to get on with things, having more after effects of surgery than I have had in the past, making it difficult to get on with things--has been very difficult for me. If I can plan, I feel that I still have some control over my life and am not just a victim. I get really sick of waiting around and not knowing.

Remember statistics only tell you about large groups, not what will happen to an individual. I believe there is a link to a site that will give you a general statistical outlook for different sizes, stages, etc, in one of the threads on this forum, but I don't remember which one. An oncologist or a BCN should be able to interpret the statistical results for you; remember that other health factors will play a part.

[Guest user]

Hi
ChoccieMuffin, I asked my Oncologist for my statistics,survival rate, he was very honest and truthful, sat me down and filled in a chart on his computer and gave me the results from that, but as he said it can change! Depending on the medication your given, ie Herceptin, Tamoxifin etc. Secondaries, which we never know can rouse there ugly head at anytime. I think also most of us are told the first 5 years are the most important milestone, to put it lightly.

Just a warning they can be scary, so only pursue if you really want to know !

Love Teresa x

[ChoccieMuffin]

Jane, you've touched a very raw nerve on the survival statistics. I do want to know what the numbers are but not sure where to find them or who to ask. And then frightened about what they might say.

Sick of waiting, and I've hardly had any to do - how have the rest of you COPED with all the waiting! I just want to know what they're going to do, and then for them to bloomin' well get on with it.

Snow. Nuff said.

No money. Nuff said there too.

[Guest user]

Sick to my teeth of RAIN, it hasn't stopped for near on 3 days, and we are talking torrential bloody rain!

Worrying about having tests done on the 30th...
Worrying about getting the results....

Waking, sleeping, eating bloody cancer, doe's our brain ever switch off from it!

Worrying about money when theirs Jack Sh.... I can DO !!!!

Lymphodemia, again all through a little baking!

Ahhh feel better now !

Love to all xxx

[Guest user]

Hi all

I've had a bit of a week (or two) of it and am now ungraciously sick to the back teeth of various things, so here are some of them:

- Hats. Hats I bought myself when my hair first fell out and hats other people have kindly bought me. Blooming hats hanging on the back of every chair but can I find one when I need to open the door to the postman with the tenth xmas-parcel from Amazon that day?? NO!

- 'Does she take sugar?' Mentality of friends and family which puts me in a disabled pigeonhole. ARRRRGGGH! PLEASE dont talk about me behind my back or try to make decisions about what I'm well enough to do! NO, I don't want to go to bed again thank you very much because I've had an overdose of steriods and probably won't sleep for a week.

- Of my own lack of gratitude when people I love try to help (see above).

- Mental gymnastics at 3am, especially where survival statistics are involved.

- Two year old asking 'Mummy, where's your other boobie?' when I have a shower every morning.

- Being bought gifts for invalids: pyjamas, hats, dressing gowns, hats, books, hats, slippers, hats... you get the idea...

Aaaaaah, a frustration shared is a frustrations halved!

[Guest user]

was at the hosp today
told i need to go in for a stay
to go on fri to get it sewed up
the hole in my boob will i still be a d cup

Ive had enough of this crap
what to get my life back on track
plan things ahead no looking back
instead of here feel im the dark

hope on fri all goes well
might be out of it for a spell
got two kids that need to have fun
after all there both number one

[elaine_r]

Choccciemuffin reflected on what you said none of that applied it happened y/day my daughter had a bump in her car because of these poor weather condition shes ok thats the main thing cant say much about the car its gone to the garage to get fixed

[Guest user]

My mouth tasting so vile.. four days post FEC and it's like I've licked the carpet, dog hair and all.. will NOTHING get rid of this?? Feels like it's coated in felt, tinged with bloody tang... and OH all sympathetic saying 'yes, they told us this would happen' and all I want to do is scream US? US? US?? MY MOUTH.... but that would make me a real bitch.

(~Woof)

Sophie xxxxxxxx

[Peachez]

Sick to my back teeth of...

Christmas cheer
Thinking of Cancer
Looking in the mirror (no it hasn't grown back, yes it still looks bl**dy awful)
Waiting, always waiting..
Christmas cheer
Teenagers... in thier own world or what!
Snow
Being cold
Being told to lose weight
Being told I'll only put on weight with the steroids
Being Hypothyroid, so it's difficult to lose weight anyway
Seroma
Oh so Healthy eating
Statistics, chances, why doesn't anything say 'Cure'
Iced up roads
Christmas cheer
Not having cheese

... did I mention Christmas flipping cheer...???

[moser]

Hope the new glasses look great, CM. I wear glasses too and i am sick to the back teeth of worrying every time I go for an eye test that the optician will tell me that there is something not quite right at the back of my eye in case it is mets.

[ChoccieMuffin]

Elaine-r, re your third thing, have you slipped on the ice at all in the last couple of days? Or had a cup of coffee that didn't taste nice? Or been late for something? Or missed the beginning of your favourite telly programme? Take your pick ANY of those could be your third thing.

Sick to my back teeth of:

- not being able to sleep because this [insert expletive] cancer is inside my head the whole time. Not literally (well I bloody hope not!) but can't stop thinking about it once I go to bed. Went to bed at 10.30 last night, still WIDE awake at 4. Watched Sliding Doors (great film) and Grumpy Old Women (DEFINTELY not grumpy enough I'm MUCH grumpier than they are at Christmas!) and then after an hour or so playing pointless games on my phone so I didn't wake up OH (his house is warmer than mine) HE turned on the telly for me and I watched All the Lovely Horses and then something else but I can't remember what it was because I wasn't actually watching it.

- Christmas. I ALWAYS hate Christmas and this year is even worse. Normally have to drag myself round the shops spending money on crap that I can't afford and that people don't want, just because it's expected of me. Miles worse this year as frankly, I can't be arsed.

But I did get my eyes tested yesterday and ordered a new pair of specs as I've been saying for ages I need to get some new ones so I thought F*** it, and ordered them.

[Guest user]

post deleted

[xwelcomex]

I need to get something off my chest .... this fuffing tissue expander that has been there since February this year and in my wildest most pessimistic calculations, I never expected it to be in still. FEBRUARY they tell me. FEBRUARY NEXT YEAR. And for anyone who doesn't know...it's like a melon under your skin where your tit should be, except in the wrong place. Too high and too sideways. It's uncomfortable, gets in the way, hurts underneath, limits what you can wear and looks DISGUSTING.

Thank you STMBT thread. {{hurrumphs; slinks off to empty the dishwasher}}.

[Guest user]

Also fed up with snow and ice. Due to start rads today, but couldn't get car out of drive and road/pavements not walkable. Rang and changed appt. to afternoon when ice would have melted. Turned up on time, no electric and emergency generators do not power rads machine so back home again to try again tomorrow!

[elaine_r]

Fed up with wondering what my 3rd thing to go wrong is! This morning my car wudnt start and this afternoon my central heating boiler making a funny noise im waiting for the big blow next now let you no when i do

[Guest user]

Fed up with SNOW SNOW and more bluddy SNOW
Fed up with shovelling it, slipping on it, children walking it all in, not being able to gat to work, not being able to send a delivery out from work.
Fed up with everyone who dosent have to go out in it to feed animals etc saying how lovely it is!

Worried we will run out of oil, fed up that no post for a week and rubbish cannot be collected due to ....wait for it....snow

Oh ########################!!!

[Guest user]

ALL OF IT, right now! Just stop the ride, and let me get off.. please?

But mostly:

OH changed the dressing on my PICC this morning, PICC looking fine and clean, but bloody dressing took some of the skin off my inner arm..OUCH! AND THEN.. OH managed to touch that raw skin with the alcohol wipe...he's lucky to still have all his teeth.

Chemo was Friday, hadn't been able to 'go' since, so took meds last night.. nothing doing.. had prunes and bran flakes for breakfast... woo hoo, I thought.. until half an hour after having been for the first time in three days, I ended up having to have a shower because the second lot came through with NO WARNING. HOW MUCH MORE HUMILIATION DOES ONE WOMAN NEED?

Single breasted, sore arms, hair already looking dry and brittle.. and now I'm incontinent too! Merry Christmas.. 🙂

Sophie xxxxxx

[Guest user]

This is my first post. ChoccieMuffin I can relate to your messages. Just diagnosed 3 weeks ago, so had the surgery 2 weeks ago and everyone saying how brave I have been and lucky caught it early and the prognoses is good. So why,why, why am I thinking of my BC 24/7.
I am sick to my back teeth of
* Not having the HER2 result yet to make my decision
* Having to make decisions
* Feeling guilty that I am one of the lucky ones that the BC was found early and prognoses is good.(better not to have the prognoses in the first place!)
* Feeling sorry for myself.
* Feeling guilty that I should be doing things but my mind is playing silly buggers.
* Feeling guilty because I should be visiting my Mum in her nursing home who has had a major stroke and her not understanding every day but know that I have not been.
* Feeling guilty about my husband feelings.

However on the plus side
* Lovely understanding husband
* Lovely daughter and son (both early 20's)
* Lovely network of friends but they do not fully understand but there for me/us.
* Great having find this forum.

Thanks I feel better. Now I will get on with my house and Christmas.

[ChoccieMuffin]

Sick to my back teeth of....

Roller-coaster emotions. Feel great one day and totally in pieces the next.
Sore eyes from crying, even on days when I'm not in bits.
Feeling cross with myself for crying when there's nothing wrong with me and I'm physically fine, except for a symptom-free nuclear bomb in my left tit.

This bloody disease is all round the wrong way and I think that's what makes it so hard to deal with because other people (including me up to 1st Dec!) just can't work it out. When you fall over and break a leg it hurts like stink and then everything from there is progress and you start to feel better. With this thing you feel absolutely fine (well I do anyway) and then you're diagnosed with a total bombshell and you still feel perfectly fine. Then treatment starts and you feel worse and worse and worse until, well I am nowhere near there so I have no idea what happens. I'm SO not looking forward to 2011.

[nymeria]

Top of my list as of this morning is the bloody weather! We are snowed in but the hospital is adamant that I try to get to them to put in a Hickman tomorrow morning.

Sick of people telling me that I'm strong
That 'it will all be okay'
That short hair suits me - it doesn't

Fed up because
my body looks like it belongs to someone else
most of my 'friends' disappeared over the horizon within days of my dx
I feel like crying all the time
all I seem to do is either spend time at the hospital, waiting to go to the hospital or waiting for yet another set of results.

Ain't life fun?? >>:-(

[valentine]

Can I get this off my chest...
Fed up of having swollen fingers and ancles and nobody being bothered about it. Nobody can tell me why this has happened but after 4 rounds of FEC they started to swell. 2 years on and nothing has changed. As long as there is no cancer Drs aren't bothered. But I want to get my wedding ring on!!!!!

[Guest user]

Can i join in please?

Sick of people saying 'it could be worse'
sick of people telling me how strong i am
sick of people asking how i am
sick of flowers
sick of cards

sick of this whole cancer shit and not wanting to enjoy christmas even though i love christmas and it's my baby's first one!

sick of crying all the time........

[elaine_r]

Keep your chin up teresa thinking of you keep me posted

[Guest user]

Jackie, Welcome to this thread you vent as much as you like, I would, we are the same age, and I'm now awaiting for tests on secondaries, not until 30th Dec... It's a real sh..... !!!

So you yell, scream, as much as you like, I sometimes do 2 or 3 times a day on this thread. Along with hat we do have a giggle!!!

Big hugs Teresa xxxx

[Guest user]

thanks chockiemuffin -you know the strange thing is, I didnt cry on diagnosis of any of the cancers I have, I only cried once, like a baby, the first time I lost my hair, but in nearly 5 years thats been it, i dont let myself cry. Mum thinks I need a shrink but this not crying thing i think is my way of not giving in. Who knows's.......... I just wish that practically everything in my head wasn't about cancer, it would be so nice to have just one single day when it didnt come to mind. Hoping to get back to work in the new year tho so surely i will get a few hours of normal thoughts other than this shit.

thanks again X

[ChoccieMuffin]

Just you vent away, Jackie. That's why we're all here, to have somewhere to vent to people who won't judge, run away, pontificate or put you down. We'll probably cry a lot, but as long as there's some laughter as well the tears are fine.

[Guest user]

37, not a care in the world really, then bang breast cancer, mastectomy and a whole load of treatment to follow.

Clear for 3half years, then bang again, secondaries in the liver, spine, hips and lung, another load of treatment to follow.
Clear for about 9 months, then bang again, lesions in the brain, radiotherapy this time, woo hoo

Jesus 'sick to the back teeth'doesnt even come close. I often wonder what filled my thoughts before diagnosis.

43 now and most likely wont see 45 - make the most of every day people best advice i can give

best wishes to you all (hope this hasnt upset anyone just thought this was a good thread to vent my frustration at this dreadful disease)

Jackie

[emmy]

we all are relating got friends who cried then ran for the hills and yet some people I never really knew have been there for me! Got a long way to go just finished chemo 5 so got last one New Years eve then op in Feb and rads etc, etc. we know how it goes! spent most of today sleeping 'cos just sometimes I want to pretend this is not really happening! I am sick of feeling so rubbish in my head I am the same but the body says 'No way!' We have to stick together 'cos we are the only ones who know how we are so different and handle each day as it comes good and s--t!!!! Hugs to all

[Guest user]

Thank you , thank you, thank you, for all these comments.Crying with relief and laughs.....lots of relating, especially about....oh,EVERYTHING !

Spent the past three weeks pasting 'normal' across my forehead and refusing to accept this IS a big deal.

Friends of 20 years crying when I told them I had the 'Big C' then it feeling like they've withdrawn to anything beyond a text

On-off boyfriend crying the morning of my op, then practically disappearing.

Being handled with kid gloves.

Mother determinedly practical until it comes to my stating independence about what I want to happen during treatment or carrying anything with my left arm.

All of a sudden, life is 'Anon' beyond January.

Some of this real, some of it probably my perception, all of it crap.

[Guest user]

Mumoftwo. so sad. so true. xxx

[Guest user]

I would love to see snow, we did have some last week on the mountain.
Somehow it doesn't feel like Christmas when living in Spain!

[ChoccieMuffin]

Rain? There's a flipping blizzard going on outside my house!

Oh yeah, sick to my back teeth of the snow. (Bah, humbug.)

[Guest user]

Mumoftwo, Great poem, touched me so much to the heart, you echoed I think, most of our feelings... Keep walking you will get there, we all have bad nights, Hey i'm the queen of bad nights and bad posts on here!
I think the poor admin here cringe at some of my posts i leave early hours of the morning, mind you caused a few giggles too!

ChoccieMuffin, Again, you echo us all one way or another, I dig the bit about work! I want to work so badly, need to financially, bloody body won't let me!!!!!

Sick to death of RAIN today, and my lads having to still go out while both ill with bad colds and work through this just so I can have a Christmas!

xxx

[ChoccieMuffin]

Sick to my back teeth of...

going to bed thinking of cancer
not sleeping because I'm worrying about cancer
eventually dropping off, then dreaming about cancer
waking up thinking of cancer
not being able to think of anything else during the day except cancer
not being able to take up job offers because I have cancer
not having any money because I don't have a job and not being able to earn it because I of the treatment I'm going to have for cancer

And I haven't even started treatment yet!

Absolutely dreading the likely side-effects of treatment.
I already HAVE a hairy chin, FFS! Tweezers are my friend.
I LIKE sex. I don't want to lose my libido, my nice moist bits, the sensation in my arm and boob, the feeling that I can have a hug and not hurt.
Not looking forward to the looks from others who don't know how to look at you. I don't have three heads, I don't want people to look at me as if I have.

Re bottle bank - I intend being instrumental in emptying those bottles.

[Guest user]

four in the morning and i cant sleep
crept into my kids room to have a peep
all thees things going on in my mind
why does life seem unking

there somthing i have to get off my chest
omg there goes my left breast
that was 7 weeks ago now
its weeping and open after sencod op HOW

i dont want two say why me again
close my eyes count to ten
why does it seem to always be me
im going to get another cuppa tea

hubby and kids asleep in there bed
my mind going round am i gonna be dead
i hate to feel why does it have to be me
im not a bad person im sure you can see

gonna go now and try to get some rest
gonna be positive well try my best
im not gonna sit here anymore and cry
im not gonna sit and ask myself why

sorry just having a bad night

nite nite all

[Guest user]

tors - OMG! I too have a hairy face that I am sick of! What is that all about?? more on my face than my head ffs!!!

xx

[tors]

Sick
to
the back teeth of.... Hairy face!

[kayh317]

Teresa,

have pm'd you

K x

[Guest user]

Here we go again, sore throat, panicky feeling in the gut of my stomach !!! This is one of my hates, Can't help thinking this is going to be my last Christmas, I'm normally quite upbeat and positive !!! GRRRRRRRR I get so angry with myself for feeling like this!

And the next person to say to me I bet your glad your on the mend I WILL DECK THEM WITH BLOODY HOLLY !!!!!

Moan over...

xxx

[emmy]

wondering if I will ever be me again! I feel like my brain is still here (sort of) but don't know the body
it's an alien!!!!

[Star_of_the_ba]

I'm sick to the back teeth of always trying to hold it all together when cancer is on my mind 24/7 and I'm tired and down and inside not coping well at all. Who decided that BC was one of the best cancers there is nothing the best about it!!

[Guest user]

im sick of only havin 1 tit,waitin for the phone to ring about my recon,im also dreadin the phone ringin cause im scared to have my recon lol xxx

[kayh317]

but we have lost the excuse of "it's the time of the month" when we really can't be bothered to be coital !!

[lella]

And of course as many of us no longer have hormones raging through us we'll be better drivers.