Sick to my back teeth of...
... feeling like a total heel for breaking bad news to good friends and watching them reel in shock.
Yeah, I know they're going to be very supportive because that's just who they are, but I do feel bad in spoiling their evening a bit. We did go on to have lots of laughter and shared traumas (so glad they had their own to share or I would have felt a lot worse!) but I think I won on that one. Fortunately.
I DID remind them to check themselves and make sure they're aware of what's what with their own bodies, so in my own personal way I am supporting Vickie's campaign. (I made a point of reminding them - they're good mates and they even got a quick flash of the latest multi-coloured bruises from the latest core biopsy - I can see myself turning into a phantom tit-flasher!)
Feeling much better than I did yesterday with my tummy bug. So I'm not fed up to the back teeth AT ALL with that!
Sarah, if someone sends me a chainmail that has some nice thoughts in it, I will reply saying that I don't "do" chainmail but I appreciate the thought. It does piss me off a bit though, you would think friends would get to know that kind of thing after a few years.
Vickie, and Sarah, that babies thing is a real bummer. I've been on the other side, feeling guilty for being pregnant when I had friends who had problems getting into that condition, but a bit like this stupid cancer a lot of it is so far outside anyone's control. Yes, I know it doesn't make it easier so this is just my feeble attempt at a virtual hug.
Sick to my back teeth of seeing good people feeling so sad.
Just read this thread the whole way through.
it's given me food for thought.
Some of the things have made me want to cry.
Given me a great insight into inpending chemo treatment
But most of all it's made me smile.
I,m not fed up anymore, thankyou all
maria x x
p.s i am fed up with people telling me to be positive lol
Really feeling for you Vickie.
Such unexpected sh** to deal with on top of your BC year.
I read about your aims for 2011 and they sound so powerful!
Vicky, Thinking of you, people can be so bloody insensitive.. big hugs... love Teresa xxx
nothing today. Having a good one.
But feeling solidarity and empathy for tors. Big loves to you xxxxxxxxx
moan away, can totally understand how hard that this must be & on here is a great place for that rant, sending big hugs to you & I am so impressed with your campaign etc & will do anything to help with your 2011 mission. I have in the past suffered 9 miscarriages & 1 ectopic, whilst the rest of the world were falling pregnant around me, friends, sisters etc i am now thankfully a mother & was only sitting tonight & thinking how ironic life is as i struggled in the past to remain pregnant as i didnt have enough Er to maintain them & now a few years on it seems i have so much it is quite happy to maintain Bc.
My moan is insensitive bloody people sending me txts the chain mail type variety .... if you dont send this on etc to a million people you will have bad luck !!!!!!!! Hmmmm yeh cheers for that.
Love to you all.xxx
Friends deciding they want another baby and being able to
friends getting pregnant
friends having babies
Being jealous of all the above
being happy with said friends as is lovely news for them, but really feeling like I've been stabbed in the heart and going home and crying.
LiF - with my NHS wig am sure I could be passable imitation of your overweight slobby night nurse.. can acquire snickers or similar to stick in my pocket.. just need uniform.....
Thanks Cheryl....am on first floor you may need papers and disguises once tunnel complete!!!
Even a confirmed bookworm like me starts to go stir crazy after a few hours in hospital.
Any idea when they will let you out? (That noise you hear is the tunnel committee. We've only got hospital cutlery, but we'll get there eventually.)
Sick to death of bluddy needles
Of being woken at 3am when just nodded off to have obs done that have been normal since I got here
Sick of being told to close the window....its an oven in here
Sick of being treated like a pin cushion....if one more person says 'sharp scratch coming' I will show them what a sharp scratch looks like!
Sick of being confined to 10 x 10 room with frosted glass windows
Sick of this f######g thing
Did you guess I'm in hospital in solitary?
One of the worst things about the sweats is that even thinking about them can bring them on. I've been through them twice, once when menopause started and again when HRT treatment stopped. Mine were worst at night, which meant weeks of interrupted sleep. I found that what I ate or drank didn't make much difference. (And at night, of course, you wake twice with each flush, once hot and wet and the second time cold and wet.)
The best I can suggest is a fine spray, like a plant mister or the sprays sold for summer holidays, or mopping yourself with a flannel or wipes to cool your skin, plus a fan. A wet cloth or wipe on the back of your neck might help as well.
Cotton clothing is less sticky than synthetics.
My turn to have a moan! 🙂
Today I am sick to my back teeth of:
Very painful tongue, throat and mouth, making eating, drinking & talking painful. (Mind you I think my OH might just be grateful for the peace & quiet! ;D)
broadband being more off than on just when I need it most
Painful hickman line dressing allergy
Spots! I have them on my back, forehead, behind the ears, on my chest - I didn't have it this bad as a teenager and I haven't even started hormone treatment yet!
Friends who have disappeared over the hill at the speed of light
and worst of all the fact that chocolate does not taste the same any more! 😞
It's very therapeutic just writing it all down isn't it???
Fee sorry to hear this... You deserve a moan... Me a sh... start to the NY... I even find myself tonight looking at my 2011 horoscopes !!!! DUH, how sad is that!!!!
Sick of telling myself this year lose weight, slim down, then eat half a bar of chocolate followed by a pkt of figs, crisps, now on the salted peanuts!!!!
Sorry Girls just need a moan...........I'm well and truly sick to the back teeth of bloody cancer!!!!!!!!!! That's my forth friend who's been diagnosed with secondries...is there no end to it??????????...I want to go outside and physically scream my head off!! who cares if it scares the neighbours!!..I'm bloody angry!!! Cancer you wee bugger!!! why don't you just sod off and leave us alone!!!
ok rant over......... Fee xxxx
Val, you go ahead and moan, that's what this thread is for!
Today I'm sick to my back teeth of a tummy bug I started growing yesterday evening. Heard the expression that the bottom drops out of your world with diagnosis? Well just to add to the fun, the world is now dropping out of my bottom. Yuck, and I hope you're not squeamish with that lovely mental picture!
If I'm like this (flattened) by a stupid tummy bug, what on earth am I going to be like when I get into full-on treatment!
Moan, moan, moan, whinge, whinge, whinge.
There, feel better for that. (Well not really, I actually still feel really crap, but you know what I mean.)
Val, you visited your mother knowing it would be difficult. In my book that makes you a Good Person and you are entitled to get some frustration off your chest.
Just found this thread....Came across it by chance.....Sick to my back teeth of the constant MOANING all the time for my elderly frail mother who resides in a nursing home who does nothing but complain ABOUT EVERYTHING.....she is old and has loss of memory so I have to hold my tongue between my teeth.....smile and try to change the subject.....Nothing but NOTHING pleases her....I have no brothers or sisters to share this with. Popped in to see my Dad afterwards and he is managing well....I don't know how he manages to keep sane as he visits her every afternoon for a couple of hours ( except on the days I visit). Thanks girls.....coping with bone mets is a doddle after 2 hours of Mum......forgive me anyone who misses their Mum......oh but it is so good to get that all off my chest. Love Val XX
Sick to my back teeth of my partner saying, "why does everything always happen to me (him)?", then get on the cider and mope about in the kitchen listening to the Doors. I'm the one with BC and I don't mope about - ass and kick are coming to mind!!!
Don't do Photos because I am so stunning I don't want people just wanting to be my friend because of my good looks. ... That's a joke too. : )
Oh deb, who said you won't be here when you're 100? Be positive.... That's a joke. I hated that headline too, wanted to burn it. I can't comment on the fat thing, what with u being allergic to posting any identifying photos whatsoever, but I can say you've been a great friend to me and thankyou.
Feeling up then down
Feeling like normal is so far away
Worrying about every symptom
Dreading every appointment and brown letter
Any one using the word positive
Being as fat as I was when I was 8 month prgnt
Being grateful to have got to 39
The news that 1 in 6 people will live to be 100 and knowing I won't be one of them.
The idea that I won't be there when my daughter is teased or my son is scared. Who would fight tigers for them?
Feel better now
Being told how "brave" I am - what choice to I have? I have to go through the op, chemo, rads and drugs to give myself the best chance possible.
I am doing this, the only way I know how - I'm not brave or inspirational, I'm just me!
Anything about new year's resolutions: being more organised, healthier, happier, richer....
Sick to death of:-
trying to kid myself I am OK
I'm not everything hurts
Everyone saying I look well when I feel rotten
Not being able to do physically what I want to
Everyone knowing/telling me how I should feel- oh really
Becoming a hypochondriac prior to BC 2 paracetomol in 12 months and I though I had over medicated
positive thinking being rammed down my throat
waiting for u/s appt
waiting for u/s results
In the words of the song 'things can only get better'
Here's hoping and to all you lovely ladies thanks for support and the threads to share/rant and encourage.
sick of people thinking that just because I have finished chemo that 2011 will be all better. Not so as I have op and rads to go next year. Dad has dementia so can only get worse and my auntie is in hospital having had 2 strokes and at 84 probably won't see Easter let alone next Christmas. So I will wish you all a Happy New Year but I'm not looking forward to it myself. Sorry to put a downer on it!
Just finished my last chemo! and been told 'how well I have coped with it!' strange really 'cos not too many asked if I was! still got op then rads and herceptin/tamoxifen so yes got this horrible chemo behind me but so far to go yet! I agree with all you ladies it's a bitch and unless you have been there don't tell me how I feel!!! Sod it! gonna have one little drink as I haven't all through and a better New Year to all you fab ladies! xxxxxx
Hopefully last moan this year for me !!!
Sick of being COLD... Then hot, looked like an old bag lady last night dressed to keep warm...
Oh my tests yesterday, INCON BLOODY CLUSIVE !!!! So in 2 weeks time I have another mammo and ultra, they didn't do the biopsy at the moment!!
Guess What SICK TO DEATH OF MORE WAITING!!!!
So to all my buddies on here take my advice GO OUT TONIGHT, OR STAY IN, BUT GET RAT ASSED... Whoops sorry for language !
Hopefully we all have a better, healthier new year, my toast tonight will be to all you lovely ladies! HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!
Love Teresa xxxx
Best wishes for a holiday from the aches and pains and a time to be yourself again. I have a sister named Janet who is going through a different kind of really bad time, so a share of my wishes for her go to you.
....the length of my list of complaints!!
people telling me I look well when I feel like poo
not being able to do what I can now only do 'in my head'
feeling cold after you have shed all during a heatwave
worrying about all aches and pains
people who can't wait for me to get into the 'much better 2011'....do they have knowledge that I don't have?
OK I am now about to leave all this poop in 2010 (and instantly on typing that have a panic about what 2011 will bring...nothing I can do about it so here goes......
best wishes xxx
im sick to my back teeth of CANCER,full stop.i could cope with everything else.having secondary breast cancer i know i will not get better so im waiting for the next ache and pains all the time and more chemo,been on it 4 times since 2001.just want to be me again.
people telling me how I feel.
'be positive', 'you'll feel better next year, after all, it can't be...', 'wow look at you, nobody would think you'd had chemo, you must feel great...'
Actually you twits, I feel crap just now. I hate it all. It has taken every area of my life from me. The only thing I have any control over now is the way I FEEL. So don't tell me to feel a certain way.
Sick to my back teeth at the thought of having another shot of zol acid next week ... sick to my back teeth that all my aches and pains of the last 25 years paid a visit after the first lot and took nearly three weeks to push off again. Not quite so sick to the back teeth as now have pain killers which, after googling, look like they'd cure an elephant of pain!
(oh, and a happy new year!)
money draining, results waiting, life ruling, isolating, pain making, 3am waking, chemo braining, sick of explaining, ever giving.....CANCER
* of being fed up....
* of having constant cold and cough
* of being in pain after nearly 3 months since WLE
* of being tearful
* of wanting to go back to work
* of being bored
* of having the concentration span of a goldfish
* of too much snow, or now that's gone foggy days - where's the bloody sunshine
* of feeling alone in this, despite being surrounded by caring family, friends and fellow pinkies on these forums
* of being dependant on others
* of measuring time by chemo and other hosp appointments
* of having no energy
* of falling asleep at the drop of a hat, except at night when I lay awake for hours
* of having no money
* of people saying that 2011 must be better than 2010 for me
* of wishing my life away - ie desperate for May when hopefully all treatment will be over except for Tamoxifen
* of BC ruling my very existence
* dry skin
* constantly sore mouth
* of constantly moaning about low level side effects of treatment, it could be so much worse, so why am I moaning?
* of F**KING BREAST CANCER and what it is doing to me, my family, my friends and my life
* of sympathetic or pitying looks, or tones of voices
* of my period being the period from hell
Sorry peeps - not having a good day but you did ask! 😞
ok here goes my rant
- sick of having no money
- sick of dealing with HR
sick of feeling tired all the time
sick of lack of sex
siick og OH wanting it all the time
sick of falling asleep in the middle of the day
sick of being told by HR your sickness record is not very good ( have not told them that i may be having a couple more ops next year)
sick of not working
sick of people going " bet you:ll be glad to see the back of 2010"
sick of people saying " are u all clear" and then being in shock when being told i will be on books for 10 yeras b4 i get all clear
phewwwwww feel better
Wow, that was a good vent, and doesn't it feel SOO much better!
After all that I'm just going to be sick to my back teeth of there being so many posts from people who are going through so much, it's just NOT FAIR. Not that people shouldn't post - of course they should - but that they have the reason to post.
Hi Guys! I have been reading this thread all morning and can relate to a lot of what you have said. I really need a bit of a rant too.....So here goes:
I am sick to my back teeth of...............
*Sore mouth ulcers preventing me from drinking alcohol (and eating anything but 2 minute noodles and soup)
*Nose bleeds when I eat anything hot
*Foul tastes in my mouth
*Not being able to eat chocolate
*Staying in my bedroom to avoid the bugs from the whole household
*Having to have 2 injections of clexane (blood thinning treatment) in my tummy each day and then for 5 days in every cycle having to have a 3rd injection to boost the immune system.
*Being bald - hot head/cold head/hot head syndrome.
*Looking like uncle fester on drugs
*Looking in the mirror and just hating what I see every morning.
*PICC lines and being allergic to all the dressings they have tried so far.
*Peeling skin off my face & head
*Thinking about the upcoming surgery (? double mast)
*Worrying about how many friends I have lost during chemo and how many more I will lose for not getting 'better' quick enough to maintain them.
*Smiling for other people
*Being grateful for people's help - that is not helpful
*My husband not talking about the cancer or treatment or future.
*My husband not doing a thing around the place eventhough he says he will and then still doesn't. (I wasn't asking for that much)
*Not being able to look after my sick kids and them going to daddy for cuddles and not me (so they don't give me the bugs)
*Being tired all the time.
*Putting on even more weight (eventhough I asked the oncologist for the chemo that makes you skinny!)
*People asking how I am all the time. I want to slap them hard because I don't want to be reminded that I have got CANCER!!!!
*Getting that sympathy look.
*Having to be jolly for everyone.
*People asking me if I meditate.
*Being on my own
*worrying about dying or how long I will live.
Being sooooooooo ugly!!!!!
Yep, thanks for that. Sorry it was such a long rant, but I have stored up stuff for ages and once I started, I found it hard to stop.
It feels so good to be so honest. Thanks for starting this thread and for keeping it going.
I love the rants. Had a double mastectomy last year, now on Arimidex. The hot flashes are controlled by taking Effexor, lots of pain in legs and joints, insomnia,brain lapses and a few more. I guess it is worth it not to have the cancer come back, that is why I had mastectomies. To many people I know and recurrence with lumpectomies and I wanted some piece of mind.
everyone saying how well I look, how well I'm coping. If they could be inside my head it's a different matter.
lying on a hard couch, arms in rests, not really wanting to expose my breasts, feeling vulnerable.
the house in a complete mess.
not being able to move around as well as I want to.
being bald, no eyebrows, no eyelashes.
everyone saying how well i'm coping with everything.....i wish i could just scream back i'm not......jump up and down and yell....!
I hate it, i hate whats happening, i hate how i feel i hate how i look and i just want me back....
Sick to my back teeth of not acknowledging, shouting or screaming exactly what I want and instead just putting up with peoples comments about what they dont know about.
I am here, living and working and my psoriasis give me more gip than the BC ever did! You can talk to me as a breathing individual and say whatever you want - I am here to live my life as I see fit and if you dont like something I do then dont watch! I am able and thoughtful and although tamoxifen does something weird and wonderful with my mind it is MY mind.
thanks all - feel better for that - sometimes get the feeling that I am just floating around inane conversations - perhaps I am not really in the room? anyone else experience that?
Hello, hope I can join you.
Sick to my back teeth of have you or haven't you got bone mets (its not a bloody hair advert!), sick of people saying, well, yes they would say that 'cause you look so well. Sick of my partner saying now the insurance has paid up you hold the purse strings! Uggg, just wish I'd never got BC or (possibly ug secondaries) in the first place. I just want someone to put a big arm around me and say it will be alright, you don't have to fight on your own, we'll help you do it - some hope! (well, I have to say my original consultant seems to be fighting my corner which I shall forever be grateful).
There, I'm feeling better now, sorry for being a bit sorry for myself but its good to get it off your chest.
Love Myfanwy x
Hi Still Sick to my back teeth of this bloody chest infection !!!!
choccie, I cooked mine in coca cola, then coated with honey and breadcrumbs popped him in the oven to finish off! Lovely, will try the cider, sounds delicious!