I know what you mean, miniminx. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing my grandfather.
People thinking a mx with recon and then another op on other breast to uplift and make smaller, is like a cosmetic boob job and is a positive outcome of bc. Makes me mad !
arriving early for my appointment,waiting for three hours to be seen
only after the clinic closed .and then being told they didn't have my
mammogram and ultrasound for review(the whole purpose of the
appointment in the first place)
AND THEN BEING ASKED TO COME BACK IN THE NEXT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alison - the 5th one brought me to my knees, and I didn't really get any energy back before the 6th.. but I got there, did it, don't feel jubilant yet (it was only on Monday), but I know that the 'thank god it's over' feeling will kick in in a couple of weeks time. You've done amazingly, I'm not going to say 'you're almost there' because the fact is that whilst you still have ANY chemo left to do, it's sh*t. But you can get there. It may be at a crawl, not a jog, but that's fine. Normal. Expected. The jogging can wait. (and you never see a healthy jogger anyhow).
chemotherapy........................Had 5 and struggling to imagine how I can bring myself to go for the last one..............Alison x
Having a mouth like the bottom of a cat litter tray.
Had onion bhajis the other evening and they may as well have been made from cotton wool. Eating is just so boring at the moment.
it has become my full time job just looking after my health so I can
go on living,being made to feel lazy and useless( admittedly because I
have heart failure as well as having had breast cancer treatment
Eating chocolate or having a cup of cocoa when you can't sleep at night is just common sense, not bad! (But maybe move the box now, so it lasts longer.)
Being awake at unearthly hours - been up since 3 ...btw is eating choccolate at 4 in the morning really bad? Only had one, but was too hard ot resist as the box was next to the laptop!Must try to get some sleep now.
This shi...y disease... losing good friends, feeling life is really crap at the moment...
Why, oh, why !!!!!! always asking this question...
Oh did I say feeling like CRAP....
Running my hand through my hair to find most stays in my hand and not on my head. Really really don't want it all to go ....... again!! Only just got it back from chemo in 09. I hate having no hair nd so do my children. It makes me look like I've got cancer - and I know I have, but I don't want to advertise it. I know so many of you are in the same boat, so sorry about going on about it, but ...... its SO UNFAIR!! This cancer thing makes you look cr** as well as feel cr**. I don't think I can cope with people telling me how good my wig looks and the pantomime performance that follows. 😞 S Xx
Yep banish blackberry and re work, sometimes so understanding and then they say stuff like that, u just do what is right for u, sometimes they just dont have a clue........as someone said, think it was SCACO it you dont have it u just dont get it, so true, hugs and love to u all xxxx
Libby - People just get it sooooo wrong sometimes!! Hope pain eased now. It's horrid being in pain and emotionally draining!
Starting to think I was recovering emotionally ( a good 3-4 weeks) then crying and crying.
Being told at work when I needed to leave a bit early( when I was in a lot of pain)that I should remember that the breast cancer had gone and yep I do so hope that is the case but .).)was still in pain J xx
I vote for a banished blackberry!!And at the same time,try and banish the guilt!!
Tonight I'm missing my daughters netball match - AGAIN as the fog is drifting in! Chemo weekly is hard work!! I hate missing things!
Consultant who is covering my job for 6 months - despite being told that I am off sick this week with shingles, is pestering for information that I cannot give as my work laptop has chosen to give up the ghost and won't boot up. She wants me to join a call to talk through a report layout that I cannot see....either I take a 70 mile round trip to the office tomorrow to try to get the laptop fixed to give her what she wants or I banish my blackberry to the end of the garden and refuse to even look at it for a couple of weeks. Right now, with the way that my manager has been behaving (don't get me started on that!), the second option is looking very attractive, but then I feel guilty in making it harder for the consultant....
Always feeling I have to fight my corner. This time about delay to radiotherapy being 6 weeks more than guidelines recommend, and knowing they'll come back with some excuse given in a patronising manner.
Big hugs to you Donna and SCACO - you are both having a horrible time at the moment. Suexx
Oh Scrapper, OUCH!
Good luck at the hospital today, I hope they can sort you out.
One thing after another!
Decided to clean my dressing table drawers out, pulled second one out felt crack at the base of my spine, most amazing wave of nausea and pain and now taken two sevredol until I go to A & E in the morning as theres no flippin way I'm going up there on a Sunday night.
It was only a flippin draw, I'm used to carrying tons of shopping,I feel so feeble and so fed up.
Oh boy the hot flushes! do i remember them! i feel for you. not nice, you see ive stepped into the ring to fight again after 14 long years! (hd mx, recon,chemo,tamoxiten and zolodex was 34 at the time) now at the ripe old age of 48 its back in other breast!bummer eh?. had WLE nearly three weeks ago & at least one round of waiting over tommorrow as i get histology result, wot next i wonder!!!!??? wishing you all a peacefil nights sleep xxxx
...brain being scrambled by tamoxifen + weight gain, newly discovered eczma and people telling me how well I look when i don't feel that bright and, a good night's sleep - wot's that?
Yes, the back L shoulder (Mx and SNB side) really hurts and R elbow is continuously v painful - never probs before. But as OH said: fat, a few aches or cancer - no contest.
Never mind the hot flushes! B
Being hot...being cold!
Not managing to get through a week without a hospital or doctors appointment...knowing the baristas in my hospital's costa by name and them recognising me - we'll be swapping family histories soon!
My shoulder/arm on snb side hurting.
WBC's buggering off
J, I moved over so you could join all the rest of us on that particular one. The Waiting Room is a horrible place to be, and we do seem to spend all our time waiting for something or another, whether it's the results we're dreading, or just sitting waiting for yet another doctor's appointment.
waiting for results....waiting for appointments.....waiting for results.....appointments... not being able to just get on with life and living either with it ( bc) or without it!!!! and the knowledge that it will always be a concern! xx
That's not good enough, is it? I know the pain is actually in the nerves themselves, but that's still a real pain. On the other hand, I would go to the clinic, because it might help, or at least help you to bear it until god willing it improves.
Years ago my OH had a bad fall and a nerve in his arm was severed by the broken bone. They can eventually grow back, but it takes a long time, so I have hopes.
Should we start a thread about dealing with post-op pain?
Lack of sleep due to a really annoying cough that just won't go away , leaving me feeling completely washed out for the last few days.
Hi, Thanks chocciemuffin, I think he really has't thought how much he is upsetting me! So I will point it out to him.
You ladies in pain underarm and around breast area, I had my operation15 months ago and still in pain, my onc said on Thurs this is as good as it will get now, and offered to refer me to a pain clinic!
I was not a happy bunny, as like you in constant pain.
Love to all Teresa x
Went to A & E as knee didn't improve. Didn't stay!!!! As I hadn't damaged my knee through trauma (The word was explained in words of one syllabul by a very arrogant male nurse in case I didn't know) Apparently they would neither xray or do anything with it. I decided I wouldn't waste 5 hours of my life.
Can't wait to see what hurts tomorrow.
WBC - it's always been low even before this sh!t, why can't they communicate with my GP and find out what's normal for me?
There's email, snail mail, fax, phone arrrrgh!
Doctors who keep you waiting for an appointment for an hour and a half and do not even say sorry when they do get to you!!! No understanding that this time is precious and just rude!! Then struggling with a language and communication barrier that made the whole appiontment a waist of time and no help!!! Thank goodness for the chemo nurse who rescued the situation and scraped me up from the heap on the floor feeling insignificant and unimportant!!! Phew, feel better now!! Xx Xx
Of being in pain. Joints hurt so much. And now my knee has decided to have an extra pain. Been awake all night. This is the first day back at work, full time from now on and I'm shattered.
Going to A & E if it doesn't improve. They might at least give me something other than paracetomol.
Came into work early to start tidying but can't get down onto the floor!
Bl@@dy low blood pressure. Dizzy spells and sub-dizzy spells--if you get them too, you know what I mean.
An underarm that is permanently either uncomfortable or just plain hurting 5 months after the original op.
Teresa, he's being what is commonly know as, a BLOKE.
But I understand it must be upsetting for you, this blasted disease knocks our confidence in ourselves, we don't need our nearest and dearest knocking it even further.
It's just a shame he's not a bit more in touch with his feminine side. Do you think he realises how upsetting his comments are or have you put on your brave face along with your make-up and said "yes dear, you're quite right"? It's possible that he just doesn't realise how you feel about his comments (and I bet you agree with him that it'd be good to lose the treatment weight and have a decent hairstyle) but that you haven't "done this to him" deliberately! Oh dear, I'm getting myself all worked up on your behalf here!
Hi, Haven't been on lately for a moan but I do need one now!!!!
OH is been fantastic througout all my treatment, complete rock, but now since ive put on weight, he's yelling at me how he can't stand "chunky women" and how i have to lose weight, then yesterday said we might pop out to our local bar and have a drink but " i must put my wig on as my hairs a mess"
This is really upsetting me, i know I'm overweight now but only like a size 14 was a 10 before cancer... Of course my hairs a mess it's come through Grey where i was brunette and sticks up everywhere, i do make the effort of makeup and gelling my hair etc..
OK moan over, but why's he being so insensitive or is it just me?
Love Teresa xxx
Honeybee, we're with you on ALL of that.
Even the broken laptop, sadly, though the last time I incapacitated mine I will confess it was when I tripped over in my bedroom after a little too much alcohol and I broke the screen when I dropped it on my foot.
I know screaming by typing VERY HARD in the keyboard with the shift key down isn't quite the same as yelling so loud you get a sore throat, but you can scream and vent at us, we'll understand.
feeling so mad i smashed my laptop
now feeling bad cos i smashed my laptop and knowing i have to by a new one
not knowing wot to expect (im at the begining )
not beening able to scream (would scare my kids )
HUBBY SNORING HIS HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!!
Wasn't actually horrid by the end just a bit stressful. chemo starts next thurs. On kindle so typing a bit hit and miss...
Oh CM, what a horrid day. Hope OH recovers quickly and that you are OK. I've forgotten where you are with your treatment - I know you had rearranged your treatment to fit in with OH and then they changed it.
Get a good night's sleep tonight.