Sick To My Back Teeth Of.................................

[libby_2010]

Of course silly me Sophie feminine empowering moments thats why BC is not as bad as other cancers then. Glad we got that sorted. Jackie

[Guest user]

Why, Jackie - it's just FULL of feminine empowering moments, like having a breast amputated (now only need to burn half a bra, if ever I get the urge), and hair loss - I'll be able to embrace my scalp - weight gain - just think how good I'll feel when it all comes off, losing inhibitions - sure, anyone can grope my chest....

How on earth did I cope beforehand...

Sophie

[libby_2010]

Well Jan I am now wondering what the bads ones are?
Sick to my back teeth of being told how well I look.Well why wouldn't I?Need plenty of time in the bathroom to achieve this tho' lol.
And don't get me started on positive thinking (thanks for links)
OR being told having BC will make you a stronger person. Now exactly what part of having BC is a life enhancing experience? Grrrr Jackie

[Lavenderlassie]

course it's not bad, Jan, we get to be pink an fluffy an sparkly and go on daytime TV an say how it has made us better people.....................................No?

I am sitting here as unsparkly as might be possible, but with something I am sick to the back teeth of...my fluffy skull!

[Guest user]

Hi all

I'm sick of people saying. 'Oh breast cancer. Well at least it's not one of the bad ones'!!!!

Love to all
J

[dancing_girl]

Sophie, I know just what you mean - someone told me today that it used to be worse, that they're managing side effects better now!!

Good luck on Friday. Stella

[Guest user]

Oh, discovered I have a new sick to my back teeth of..

People asking me when I start chemo and then ALWAYS saying:

Oh, at least it's nowhere near as bad as it was 20 years ago.

Well... if it's that much goddam fun, why don't they all come along with me and join in?

Sophie xx

[Guest user]

Phew, I'm exhausted. Best have a cup of coffee and slice of daughter's birthday cake. (If I just trim it off the end and spread the icing about, she'll never notice....)

[lella]

And mine ... can't understand why I'm not honed and toned to perfection with all this nightly action!! xx

[Guest user]

HOT SWEATS........
I take it you have all heard of the HOKEY POKEY !!!! That's what we do every night !!!

You put your left arm in, your left arm out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you ROLL around
That's what it's all about
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa

You put your right arm in, your right arm out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you ROLL around
That's what it's all about

You put your left leg in, your left leg out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you ROLL around
That's what it's all about

Raa raa raa
You put your right leg in, your right leg out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you ROLL around
That's what it's all about

Raa raa raa
You put your whole self in, your whole self out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you ROLL around
That's what it's all about!!!!!

WELL AT LEAST THATS MY NIGHTS ACTIVITY !!!! PHEW.....

[Star_of_the_ba]

Thank you everyone for all your truthfullness. We really need somewhere to express how we really feel to people who understand. It makes you want to laugh and cry but that's probably medication SE! I'm fed up with hot sweats haven't had a good nights sleep since 2007. Wrapping up to keep warm and then having to strip off because I feel I will spontaneously combust!!! Having one boob bigger than the other. Never being able to feel my husband's touch again. feeling guilty because I should be grateful for what I have. Let's keep it real ladies at least between ourselves!

[Guest user]

Being in more pain, Pulled a muscle yesterday putting up the Christmas tree !!!!!!!!

[Rustyharas]

Worrying about not seeing my kids grow up, not knowing my grandchildren.
Being bald, looking old and ugly
My teenage daughter complaining about her spots
Telling people I haven't seen in a while, and feeling guilty for the look on their faces
No one understanding how I feel
The world being the same despite this massive thing that has happened to me.

Thanks for letting me share. Some things I don't talk to anyone about except you lot.

X
Rusty

P.s just read the article from the Telegraph, it definitely resonated. Did you read the related one? Just what i needed to read, I recommend it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/8125564/A-life-with-incurable-breast-cancer.html

[truffle_shuff]

love the article, I did try to take on the magical posistive attitude when first diagnosed, but I found it very exausting,it made me feel drained even more, so I ditched the positivity before I went mad

x

[millykins01]

telegraph article so good - even though not family related BCin my case it said so much of what I feel.

so - fed up with
feeling I have to be positive in order to "get better"
people saying - your hair might not fall out, not everybody's does
My wound not being healed after 6 weeks so changing dressings twice a day
both arms hurting now I have a picc in the other one
being told to take one day at a time
feeling terrified I won't be here for my daughter growing up - every day
knowing I will be scared I am going to die from this until I actually do die (whether in 2, 5, 10, 20, 40 years time!)
Not really enjoying chocolate any more

[Guest user]

Oh Vicki, Well said !!!! PMSL,

Today, I went into a cafe where I always used to go two summers back, remember I live in Spain, anyway the young hip spanish waiter always gave me a lovely wink and smile!!!! Today I went there, haven't been back since the big C he was there looked at me and nearly fell over a chair!!! No wink today I can tell you !!!! He was thinking thank god lucky escape... Then he looked at me so sympathetically!!! I felt bloody pathetic!!!

Now also peeved that I have to wait until 30th Dec for tests on my new lump!!! At first thought all well get Christmas over and done with, but now the Waiting Again... UGH !!!!!

Love Teresa xxx

[tors]

I know where I'd have shoved the slippers and badge if someone gave me them
for my birthday, and they would then need to use your vacant Christmas op slot if they ever wanted to sit down again.

[21210]

Catching the bloody flu for the 1st time ever 2 days before pre op assesment & crying because i feel so poorly & then thinking what a pathetic woman i am, after all if i cant cope with the bloody flu how will i cope over the next few months 😞 was obviously not looking forward to op on Xmas eve but had got my head round it in a onwards & upwards kind of way & just want it out the way & want someone to kick the patheticness out of me as i really need to woman up 🙂 & last but not least being brought a pair of bloody breast cancer care slippers & a little ribbon broach for my birthday on Friday 😞 oh god, now im being selfish but would of quite liked chocolate or red wine 🙂 xx feel better already, thank u ladies.xxx

[Guest user]

the hole on my breast that was closed last monday in surgery bleeding and open again
the wait to see the surgon tomorrow
aggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Guest user]

YES!! please can this site be un pinked!!!

[xwelcomex]

Yep, as you can tell from my profile and previous rants on the subject, the whole goddam pink n positive crap - and on so many levels. Barbara Ehrenreich...what a star, isn't she? She has a lot more to say elsewhere on the wider implications of the 'pink' crap.

And BCC need a good talking to about it too. There I've said it. Do you think they'll cancel my login now?

[Guest user]

Hi Again

Night sweats - Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!
Utter exhaustion after having a stinking cold on top of chemo side effects
Really annoying cough - it might be tightening belly muscles but not doing much for my ribs or back!!!
Brain wanting to do the stuff that I need to do but body saying - jog on!!
Wanting to sleep cuz so tired but can't!!
Annoyed cuz the selotape ran out with only two presents left to wrap!!!
Irritated by xmas and everyone wanting a piece of us which is tricky when we live over 150 miles away from all family!!! Hello my husband is working over the xmas period how on earth do you expect us to do all that travelling in between his work and my hospital appointments????
I wanted a xmas with just me and my hubby - yeah right it now seems that a mate is coming over and the mother in law!!!! (Now got to buy more food - arrgh!!
Irritated by the fact that mother in law and husband will end up arguing on xmas day - cuz thats what they do - can't wait for that little festive jollity!!
Getting more annoyed at the shockingly bad postal service - I posted my xmas cards a week ago - have they got to their destinations? NO!!!

Right thats if for now - feel so much better for that! I also love the glass bottle bank therapy - just brilliant.

Happy ranting!
Bird
xxxx

[Mezzomamma]

We're in good company, ladies (and any gents as well). The writer Barbara Ehrenreich not only got fed up with people telling her to be positive, she wrote a book (Smile or Die) about the dangers of the philosophy that everything (breast cancer, losing your job, whatever) will be all right if only you are positive enough.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jan/02/cancer-positive-thinking-barbara-ehrenreich

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-ehrenreich/what-causes-cancer-probab_b_56983.html

[sweetanimo]

Loved this article sooo true. Have kept my DX very quiet this time round for just those reasons.
xx

[Guest user]

brilliant article....as a person with a family history waiting to see if BRACA...just perfect!

today I am also cross with people.....

who say OMG if you can get it with your healthy lifestyle we might get it too...

BC does not discriminate!!!

[SM422]

Just read this article - I like this woman!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/8186635/Breast-cancer-dont-tell-me-to-think-positive...

I don't have hereditary cancer (very fortunately for my daughter and mother), but can completely understand where she is coming from....

SJ xx

[pinkrose]

Trip-hazard - Ditto Cheryl Cole with her swishy hair.

[Guest user]

Dear all

First posting here, definitely been a bit of a reader of these and haven't said anything (feel that I'm just repeating everything that's already out there) but this posting was great, every little niggly thing that's going on is happening to all!! so here's mine

- yes, Cat Deeley Madame swishy hair makes me feel as if I'd like to shave her head (slightly mean but had a few mood swings since this started)
- yes, "you're so brave" no I'm not, scared witless, have no choice
- orangutan head - so accurate, have a number of gladiator like hairs that refuse to go, think I'll end up looking like Homer Simpson with his three long hairs combed over.
- feeling guilty whilst watching "donate to cancer research" because I haven't done it.
- blue boob! when will that go!!!
- Just want to go out properly to a lovely restaurant with a bottle of champagne, without fear of catching every known bug or virus going.

Apologies for the first posting rant (I'm normally so relaxed)

thanksxx

[Guest user]

Didn't want to mention it but she has swishy hair too!

I hate the "because you're worth it" ad

[Guest user]

.... this alien woman who has taken over my mind and wept buckets last night because my OH commented on how gorgeous and sexy Nigella is.... and all I can think of was that the b**ch has two tits...aaaaghh!

(When normally I'd be in complete agreement that curves are def. the way to be...)

[Guest user]

Referring to remembering to take Tamoxifen......

The good thing about Arimidex is that 'they' must have realised when you reach the point of taking this drug you need some serious clues as to whether you have taken it or not so they have the days of the week written on the pack.
I take mine in the morning......god knows why......but occasionally I have found myself trying to take one at night too and I'm only stopped by finding the expected space in the pack empty. After going cold and a sharp intake of breath, I go through the days of the week in my head......then ask one of my sons to confirm it. Then of course I wonder if I've missed a whole week and by chance, I have tried to take one on the same day that I started to forget last week.......

It's all just too much....

Sheana x

[Guest user]

OMG Flossied! You and I must have been seperated a birth. I'm so with you on the whole remembering/forgetting tamoxifen thing!

This is the funniest posting thread I've ever read on here. Thanks so much for making me laugh 'til the tears ran down my cheeks. Big hugs to you all. Clare

[Guest user]

Just wanted to say that there are so many of the posts here,that I agree wholeheartedly with everything. I want to hug some of you (if that wouldn't be too annoying) xxxx

[Guest user]

just about everything and everybody at the mo!
sue

[xwelcomex]

My OH working abroad and me having to 'do' cancer on my own. He won't be here for my birthday on Friday, or Chrismas, or New Year. Yeah, I'm a tad peed off about that.

[Mezzomamma]

All those articles in papers and magazines that imply that a cancer diagnosis means you miraculously become WONDERFUL as defined by the tabloids: day-long pain doesn't make you crabby, you never despair, you don't need help and of course you continue to work full time, look after house and/or family, probably run marathons as well, and NEVER NEVER inconvenience anyone at home or at work in the least.

(Whereas in fact I couldn't cope without help from the BCNs and my OH, and work is out of the question for the next few months because of the risk of infection. And thank God for friends who let you be less than wonderful, even while they tell you that you are.)

[Guest user]

People expecting me to be better now chemo has finished.
The last one was 2 weeks ago ffs!

[Guest user]

....trying to remember to take my Tamoxifen
....forgetting to take my Tamoxifen
....trying to remember if I've forgotten to take my Tamoxifen
....setting my alarm to remind me to take my Tamoxifen
....my alarm going off at 9.30pm every evening to remind me to take
my Tamoxifen
....trying to remember if I remembered to take my Tamoxifen before
my alarm went off to remind me to take my Tamoxifen

....I forget.........

Sue xx

[emmy]

How fab! defo joining in!
Not recogonising that baby orangutan in the mirror!
tissues constantly in my pokets
dressing gown days --too tired with chemo to be a----ed!
house looking bombed, friends seem to have forgotton where I live!
Feeling like a pin cushion, chemo veins are sore!Cold head hot head scarf on scarf off!!!
Operation to look forward to and yes the "aren't you strong/brave? " comments like I had put my hand up for this thing?
That urge to tell people to go away/ come see me scared to catch something scared to talk 'cos you know somewhere along the way you will want to tell them how you really feel after they ask but knowing you won't 'cos they don't really want to/or will understand!
Phew where did that all come from guess there will be more!

defo fab to get that off my chest before the surgeon gets to it!

[Guest user]

cant sleep
when will i feel like me again
when will i stop being a statistic
will i ever feel feminine again
will i ever be able to look in the mirror and not see the scars
aggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ss rant over but cant sleep xx

[Guest user]

post deleted

[Guest user]

Hi Karen, Welcome !!! All you ladies feel free to post as many times as necessary !!!

Rant of the evening !!!

Cramp.
Sore Throat through Coughing!
Having to take another sleeping tablet, soon be an addict!
Sore mouth
Sore nose
Tit Ache.

Rant over, Night, night, sweet dreams. xxx

Oh meant to say, like the idea of the bottle bank!!!!

[Guest user]

sick of here goes

people telling me i have been brave(im dieing inside)
people telling me how lucky i am (been caught early)
people telling me they know how i feel
hospital appointments
more hospital appointments
feeling sore
getting breast cancer
having surgery to close the 50p size hole that appered on my new breast
not being able to drive
cabin fever
relying on other people to help in the simple task
feeling every twinge (cancer back)
worring bout every twinge
worring bout everybody round about me (not me)
worring how everybody round bout me is coping

better leave it there for now could sit here all night
but do feel better for it

[xwelcomex]

sitting here for the last hour and a half trying to fix bloody Christmas lights that were absolutely fine when I put them in the loft last year.

[Guest user]

Definitely feel the need to join in... only started having a proper look at this website...

-sick of being told I look well... that's because the chemo hasn't started... but don't worry, when it starts this week I'm sure they'll see the effects soon enough
-having chemo as a precautionary measure... just in case...
-worried about side effects of chemo
-being 32, single, no children
-not being able to have kids for 5 years (and that depends on meeting someone who accepts me for who I've become)
-having a fake boob
-not enjoying my life like I should
-isolating myself from my friends, and then being annoyed when I don't hear from them
-not having a job, for my employer my contract conveniently came to an end
-feeling lonely, just want to come home to have someone hug me
-being told I'm being really strong, but falling apart inside
-feeling angry

That's definitely enough for now! Stay strong everyone!

[kayh317]

joining in this brilliant thread.

sick to the back teeth of

people saying my short hair suits me when I had really long hair before
my gp asking me why I had my hair cut short - told the t**t it wasn't my choice it was chemo
going to hosp appt's thinking it will all be over and then getting another ologist because of even more problems.
hating the skin I am living in
hating the way my deformed breast feels

sick and tired of life but knowing I will keep fighting.

K x

[Guest user]

deleted

[Guest user]

* Feeling old before my time
* Being told by everyone they are glad it's all over and behind me now
* My little boy asking me if the cancer is gone forever
* Not recognising the person looking back at me in the mirror
* Being without my right breast and looking at scars back & front
* Pain

[Guest user]

hahahaha ... you lot read my mind !!!!!!!!

[myfanwy18]

Hi,

Never been on this site before but I found it so funny. Had BC, now in bones, bit shit really but there we are!

I had a conversation with a girl at work last week - couldn't take it to heart 'cause couldn't believe she was so (a) totally thick (b) totally thick (c) just plan thick. She said I've been to my Doctor who told me to change my contraceptive pill as it might cause BC later. I just said listen to your Doctor, he might have a point. She then said, oh god - what have I got to look forward to, old age and cancer - I thought, well I've achieve one out of the two and told her life is what you make of it - she knows I've got BC, even visited me in hospital when I had my boob removed. Perhaps I look so bloody well people forget!! I may start to limp!

Apart from that I'm fine!

Myfanwy