Sick To My Back Teeth Of.................................

[moser]

every christmas worrying that I won't see the next one, ditto every birthday, anniversary etc. Then being so angry with myself for thinking like this, not being positive etc that it spoils the current christmas, birthday etc.

[Guest user]

Being told my hair would fall out on FEC....cutiing it short, bit falling out, shaving it to a no2....and no more falling out and heading towards TAX having completed 3 x FEC...am feeling like a freak!
Growing even more chin hairs....
Being told that 'at my age' periods would stop....have they hell!

Otherwise I'm really cheerful....

[Guest user]

* Looking in the mirror first thing in the morning and seeing Uncle Fester after he has been to make up.

* Seeing people swish their luscious locks.

* Taking tablets.

* Having no eyelashes.

* Taking my bloody temperature,to make sure I don't become neutropenic again!

* Hot flushes at night.

* Cold head, hot head, cold head, hot head.

* No libido

* House looking like an advert for the NSPCC.

I'll be back.

Andi

[Guest user]

Love It... What a POSITIVE FEEDBACK.. only kidding ! No joking aside glad to see all joining in..

Todays rant for me ....

Went to buy a Christmas tree first one in 5 years, since living in Spain, but since DX last Dec determined to go all out this year...

Could I find a bloody tree, Oh no, that would be too simple...

Felt like a bloke dressed in drag and all was staring at me..., no offense ladies but I look so butch nowadays, I want to feel feminine again! How can you! Hardly any hair, Overweight, Facial Hair... Blah, Blah, Blah...

So ended up coming home and going straight to the local bar... Now at least you know what your going to get there !!!

xxx

[Guest user]

What have you started muffet? I love it, have already posted but there seems to be so much p!ss!ng me off! So here goes:

Feeling for lumps

Being a statistic

Worrying about everything

People saying oh I didn't know you were ill!

People saying so bc runs in your family then? - no? Oh

Radiotherapy

Traveling for radiotherapy

I'm sure I'll be back 😉

[SM422]

All of the above.....and without offending anyone being part of this forum, much as I need the support and am happy to support others, in the nicest possible was, would rather not be here, thanks!!

SJ xx

[suzan]

Iam sick of my back teeth of being sick to my back teeth,and if anyone else tells me how well I look I will scream AARRGGHHHHHGG .Feeling tired ,and fat, reading how when you are overweight it makes the cancer more likely to recur, when its the treatment that has made me put on 2 stone. Sick to my back teeth of reading stats for breast cancer and how if you breast feed and have your first child early it offers you protection, well NEWSFLASH, it doesnt.Sick of being a cancer patient of the side effects of the drugs, of peoples pitying looks and why oh why do they have to stare at my chest as if they think something is going to reappear.Sick of spending my young life worrying and worrying about whether I would see my children grow up.And if another person tells me to move on or be positive I will personaly deck them.Not being able to look in the mirror, knowing I will never be the me that I was before.People that say positive things come out of cancer... such as ???? I could go on but its someone elses turn now thanks for starting this thread we can all take it in turn to have a rant love suzan x

[Guest user]

This thread has made me laugh so much!!.........just shows we are all going through the same sh*t!

But hey, sometimes better to laugh than cry! XX

[Guest user]

Hi
Totally agree but I have to say I am my own worst enemy in that I didn't and don't want people to know that I am in any way a victim.
Double whammy is for me that I was diagnosed 11 months after the BC with a very rare condition that only 1:100,000 people get (aren't I just the luckiest person!) called an acoustic neuroma which if you google comes up brain tumour -albeit benign but still requiring treatment. So when people tell me how well I am looking etc. etc. and how well I am doing, I don't feel able to tell them that I have another serious health problem.
Also analysing any little thing now but not sure if it is a sympton of the BC, treatment of the BC or the AN or just getting old and hitting the menopause.
Sorry for the rant......
jet xx

[xwelcomex]

Everybody knowing someone who has had cancer and is fine now. Then having to listen to the story of someone's cousin's, sister-in-law's, friend's boss who had a completely different kind of cancer 18 years ago.

Being asked if I'm ok. Then having to listen to 15 minutes' drivel about their aching back or their kid's snotty nose.

[Guest user]

the conversation when I bump into someone I haven't seen for ages......after the initial surprise that I'm still alive they say...

'So.......how Are you?'

I'm fine....

'Erm......keeping well.....you look well..'

Yea, I'm ok thanks....* sigh*

'I expect they are keeping an eye on you?'

Yea, still go to the hospital for appointments.........*quiet tut*

'Do they say you are cured?'

No.....they don't say that really.....well, not to me

Awkward laugh and silence....

'They call it remission then....?'

Erm....well, they prefer NED.....No Evidence Of Disease...

'Ah.......good....well, you Are looking well (again)'

Yea, I'm fine....(me now struggling for something to say)...put on a bit of weight tho.....

' Goodness, I wouldn't worry about that after what you have been through......'

Well, I do and I hate it....anyway....nice to see you....*not*

Bye.....FFS!

[Guest user]

Great thread!
Sick to my back teeth of...

My wispy /matted sad excuse for hair
Hair STILL falling out
HOT FLUSHES
Having to wear a hat (especially when I work in education and hats/hoddies are banned.
The hospital...my car knows the way I’ve been there so often!
Eating crap when I should be eating healthily but can’t help myself
Reading stuff about what I should be eating
Having to put on a large amount of slap to make me look half decent
Putting on more weight
The bags of medication and paperwork and other PIC line paraphernalia that I have to have lying about.
This damn PIC line
My puffy threadbare eyes
Being good, having given up smoking but would love to have a sneaky one but would feel far too guilty to do it.
Not being able to have a proper bath/shower on full blast due to delicate hair/PIC line
Having to massage Bio oil on my scars
Zero libido
Having to have the BC label for the rest of my life!
XX nite niteXX

[Guest user]

Sick To My Back Teeth Of..............

worrying.
sadness.
having no energy
the state of my flat
sitting in hospial waiting rooms
hospitals
crying
can I say worrying again.....?

[Guest user]

Hi Bird, Feel free to have a rant, Yes it does I think make us all laugh... Hopefully the whole point, get it of your CHEST, Excuse the pun !!

Good therapy...

xxx

[Guest user]

Hi

Just love this thread, it makes me chuckle - don't know if it's supposed to but it does! Right I want to join in please so here goes...

Numb finger tips and toes. Getting into a bath and not being able to tell if the water is scalding hot or freezing cold!

Bleeding nose.
Runny eyes.
Split lips
Hard bruised vein on back of hand.
Being told I look fabulous when underneath the layers of slap I look like poo
Constantly being asked how I am doing - great I say - what a liar - but its easier than telling it like it is
Sore bottom and bits
Not knowing if my period will happen or not
Planning my life around appointments
Having to write everything down cuz chemo brain has made my head like a sieve
Trying to keep the mascara on my stubby lashes
Having to wear a hat to bed

Yep I think thats it for tonight..

Happy ranting ladies
xxx

[Guest user]

Amazing how we all have a good moan !!! lol...

Mine for this evening...

Would love to have a glass or two of wine ! Can't anymore makes me sick !!!! So unfair...

Sick of hearing about bloody Coronation Street, I DON"T HAVE ENGLISH TV, DUH !!!!

Me old mate TINITUS...

I will probably be back again later for another moan !!

Like the ref to the cows milking....
xxx

[Guest user]

OMG that made me laugh out loud ...and this is supposed to be a big gripe thread!! I used to milk cows a lot and I have just thought the comparison of a row of reclining chairs on both sides with people commected to iv lines is SO very like a herringbone milking parlour!!!! Next time i go in I will snigger all through the process!!!

[dancing_girl]

I know what you mean, LiF. Everyone says how good my wig looks - and indeed it is similar to, but far better behaved than, my own hair.
BUT, it doesn't feel right. I feel as if it is going to slip off at any moment. My hats feel safe and secure, so the wig only gets an airing occasionally.

[xwelcomex]

...having to make small-talk with nurses when I get Herceptin at home.

Sitting staring at each other for 3 hours doesn't work. You can't get up and wander off because you're on a drip and making calls or fiddling on the computer seems rude.

Still, better I suppose than going in to the chemo unit and sitting in a circle looking like a load of cows in a milking parlour.

[Guest user]

wigs!!!! I have a lovely wig but it feels so odd and i feel like I have a dead giant hamster on my head!!
Therefore I don't waer it!!!

[Guest user]

SheanaY, UMMMMM Let me think..... NO.... Thank you !!! lol...

Todays comments,

Oh you look well, look at the weight you have put on !!!!!

AARRRRRGGGHHHHH ......

Like I need bloody reminding !!!

Moans away, Love Teresa xxx

[Guest user]

So you don't want this old hat I've got then Muffet.....

[pina_c]

My turn 🙂

Numb fingers-dropping things-not being able to open carrier bags

numb toes-freezing in this cold weather-hurting when I walk

cold head - why did I get a leather sofa????????

checking the mirror every day to see if hair has grown

putting on aqueous cream then getting dressed and finding smears of it on my dark clothes

my bra digging in - went bra shopping today but didn't find one 😞

swollen, red, spotty sore boob after radiotherapy - the op made it look almost presentable but now the rads have killed it 😞

I haven't felt well since March- I'd love to just get up and feel normal. Nothing hurting, no tablet to forget, no hot flushes, no shock when I look in a mirror, no people asking me how I am - I'm feeling cr*p, don't you realise? I'm not brave or strong, I had no choice.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Guest user]

Well, my oh my, I think this thread is good therapy....

I can so go along with
SheanaY post, that's so me !!!

Sick of people offering me there pass me down woolen hats !!!!

3 offered today!!

Kids coming in from work, grunting when asked a question!

Being told to go to bed! I would if I could bloody sleep !

Ok, only a small rant this evening, Im sure by tomorrow i will have a better one!

Keep on ranting !!!!!

[xwelcomex]

...the consultant going awol and having to meet random people who know nothing about my case

...the hospital losing things, changing things, not returning my calls, sending appointments and assuming I have nothing else to do, making mistakes etc. HELLO HOSPITAL: I HAVE STAGE 3 CANCER AND I AM ILL AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO CHASE YOU.

That felt jolly good.:-)

[Guest user]

What a brill thread , can i join please!!!

Oooo ure wig looks good if you didnt know you wouldnt know it was a wig!!

You look really well, ( so how am i supposed to look !! )

chin up!!

tiredness!!

Wondering if its spread!!

Your young and fit ( so why me then!! )

Etc etc etc etc and so the list goes on grrrrrrrrrr

[Guest user]

Fan on......fan off
Jumper on........jumper off
windows open........windows shut......

duvet on......one leg out
one leg out......two legs out
two legs in.......duvet off

heating up......heating down.......

whew.......brrrrr

[lolly73]

LOVE THIS THREAD !!!!!!!!!

- hosp appts
- waiting for results
- everyone thinking you are cured
- thinking of cancer every day
- being scared that i wont see my boys grow up
- wondering why at the age of 34
- feeling different to other mums in the playground
- listening to others trivual moans
- wondering if i will get old
- surgical premature menopause

[Guest user]

the realisation that nothing will ever be the same again - within a few seconds of waking every morning!

[Buzzy]

fed up with shampoo/hairspray adverts containing beautifully swishy haired people!!

[Guest user]

thinking about cancer all the time

hospitals that don't realise you have any sort of life to lead outside of hospital

rushing to get to my radio therapy appointment, only to be kept waiting for ages

people saying "are they pleased with your progress"?

of 2010

[dancing_girl]

Smiley 60, I so agree with so tired but can't sleep.

[jacqui37]

I haven't felt fed up with anything through this year of treament, but now that is is over and I am four months into my Tamoxifen, the aching joints are beginning to get to me!

[Guest user]

Ok todays rant goes something like this.....

Sick of coughing my stomach up, chest infection 3rd week,

Oh no sleep again,

eyes look like piss holes in the snow.

Christmas Fayre, looking forward to going, NO MONEY, so can't go!

Tit feels like been put through a mangle.

Fed up of people talking about Coronation St to me, even though I don't have English TV.... DUH...

Nothing to look forward too but a day of chores.

Rant over... Have a good day all or a good rant xxx

Forgot to add TINITUS..

[Guest user]

' Ohhh isn't your hair lovely, have you had a perm?'

Me....'No'

'Is it natural, goodness you're lucky'

Me....'hmmmm'

'Has it always been curly?'

Me....' No, £20000 of chemotherapy saw to it....'

End of conversation.

[SM422]

All of the above but most identify with alicats!
The lack of control of my body and life is doing my f****g head in!

[Guest user]

post deleted

[Guest user]

Being on the treadmill where everybody is organising my life or telling me what to do, when I can do it, how to feel, what to eat, when I can or can't go away, drive, and now that they know best about when i can go back to work and resume my life.
Sometimes feel like shouting that I have managed to bring up 2 kids, move house twice, organise mortgages, car mots and nurse and lose both parents through cancer on my own.
I am individual, I am not a number!

[Guest user]

Feeling so tired but never able to sleep...
Being pulled and poked like a slab of meat..
The smell of aqueous cream....
Lopsided boobs.....
Spending hours a day travelling to treatment...
Pretending to be taking it all in my stride when inside Iam struggling

[tors]

Sick to the back teeth of 2010, beginning to end. That about covers it.

[xwelcomex]

Sick of...the ups and downs of cancer and noticed Caroline (cmw) seems to be having a crappity-crap-crap time of things and would like her to know I empathise and am sending some happy-vibes her way xxx

[Guest user]

I really need this thread today, after the day I have had .....

* thinking I was starting to get my life back and then doctors throwing heart failure into the equation
* being called to oncology for an urgent appointment to find that the results of my urgent echo-gram have not been sent through and cannot be found anywhere
* having to drop everything in your diary so that I can go to another hospital appointment
* people telling me they love my curls and then trying to run their fingers through them - one day I will scream at them
* people who I have known for years asking me if I had curls before - why can they not remember? It's really not that hard!
* having to be stabbed 3 times for every blood test.
* doctors ignoring me when I tell them which veins are normally good, trying two others before going to the one I suggested in the first place.
* people thinking all I want to talk about is my treatment
* people who hardly spoke to me before asking me personal details about my treatment
* living in a complete tip as I don't have the energy or inclination to sort out the piles of paperwork and clothes.
* being told there is only about a 5% chance of something happening, and then being in that 5%
* wanting to cry all the time
* crying whilst writing this

Maybe I shouldn't have started typing this list.

Caroline

[Midge]

Hmmm
I'm sick of

Looking like a short Matt Lucas
My finder nails dropping off
Freaking out at the slighest twinge
Apologizing to nurses for my crap veins before they stick me again.
The shocked look on the delivery mens faces when I answer the door bald.
Wishing I could wind the clock back and have my peace of mind back.
Bl**dy hot flushes.
Crying at every sentimental tv moment, even dog food adverts- if the dog is cute and he loves his food- boo,hoo
Tragic!
Dx

[Guest user]

Oh Excellent ladies keep them coming, I have cried with laughter... Sorry not supposed to be funny but it is !!!

It's kind of nice to see we are all in the same boat!!!!

When I wrote this thread, I didn't even think anyone would reply !!!!

Keep up the rants, I could actually go again !!!

xxx

[elaine_r]

keeps coming up failed on my hola hoop keeps falling down

[Buzzy]

my wii telling me I'm obese!

[elaine_r]

Not being able to balance on my wii my cog is 52 - 48 well i ask you what does this machine expect it also says overweight

[xwelcomex]

O bloody hell, this is good. Can I play?

- still having the rock hard tissue expander in 10 months after the op
- my portacath digging into my skin and hurting all the time
- spots from the Herceptin
- being told to be positive
- being asked if I've 'had the all clear yet'
- not being able to get full travel insurance
- having been in treatment since last Janaury and still having 6 months to go
- money hassle now I've closed my business
- having to phaff about with cream etc post rads
- having to massage the tissue expander every day to help avoid capsular contracture
- having to phaff about with my 'bad' arm all the time to make sure the lymphoedema doesn't worsen
- strangers poking around with my body
- not being able to do the sports I did before
- losing friends
- lopsided boobs
- bloody pink ribbons

Hurrumph.
{{takes a bow and retreats}}

[Guest user]

all of the above +

- fracturing my ankle after last radiotherapy
-no money
- no sex
- being told short hair is so me
- Emma Watson cut her hair short you are so on trend
- forgetting to take my tamoxifen
-taking my tamoxifen
- people going after last radiotherapy " you have finished now....."
-skin sore from rads
- the feeling that people expect me to be all dancing all singing. I am not the same person since diagnosis and they can't see that
-sick of being told that I am so strong. I am not i am breaking inside
- feeling guilty because my friends are super and i would not have got through this without their love and support.

Thats my rant done

[Guest user]

Seeing how down folks can get .......big hugs to all of you! xxxxx