Hi glowormdancer
I'm sorry to read you are having a tough time at the moment. I'm sure some of the other users will be a long soon to offer you their support. In the meantime please do give the helpline a call and talk things through with one of the trained members of staff. Here you can share your feelings and concerns with someone who will offer you emotional support as well as practical information.
The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator