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So scared and anxious

34 REPLIES 34
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Thank you I was going to get sorted for the depression but have other heath problems and wanted that sorted first before going on anti depressants etc. Wasn't expecting this on top of everything else! I suppose I'm just grateful it's not another cancer which I know some their is no hope with.i was told I had 2 6mm areas so very small, but I know I have other lumps which weren't biopsied so am thinking since they have now been done I'm going to get even worse news come Wednesday. Specially along with having calcifications. Has anyone had additional lumps which weren't cancerous. I know am not going to know for sure until Wednesday but it's killing me not knowing if I'm going to lose my breast
Lane
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melina so sorry you are having to go through this , as ann said everyone on here is really kind and supportive I wish I knew of this group when I was diagnosed last year, I'm sorry you have been suffering from postnatal depression on top of this , you should contact your health visitor who should also be able to support you and help you any way she can "we are very approachable " you will get through this and we are all hear to help you sending you big hugs xx
Lane
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melissa so sorry you are having to go through this , as an said everyone on here is really kind and supportive I wish I knew of this group when I was diagnosed last year, I'm sorry you have been suffering from postnatal depression on top of this , you should contact your health visitor who should also be able to support you and help you any way she can "we are very approachable " you will get through this and we are all hear to help you sending you big hugs xx
ann-m
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

 
ann-m
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Millie,
Not necessarily, unless there is a genetic link - your team will advise on this.
Being er+ means that the production of oestrogen in the body that fuels the bc involves treatment that inhibits oestrogen production in the body. There are a variety of ways to do this, depending on your age, menopausal status etc.
Millie67
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

can i ask...if we are ER + does that mean high risk for ovaries etc?....i dont know yet if i am thankyou

lynda1955
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

I am 61 had surgery Friday to remove effected area. At pre op assessment was told I had ductal grade 3 invasive which was HR positive. Treatment will be radiotherapy and mostly hormones for 5 to 10 years. Will not know exactly till full results of tissue removed at op are examined as well as nodes they removed. I had 3 very small areas 2 where 4mm and 1 was 3mm in a 2 cm area. Hope all goes well for you Melissa x
Anniej
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

Melia, you need a little book to write all these questions down so you can ask your consultant. Can your mam go with you and write everything down? You definitely go deaf when you're told 'cancer'!

I think they tell you what they can, but sometimes even the medical team need more info. I know my grade because I had biopsies so I was told that when I saw my consultant, plus size, plus ER+. Don't yet know what stage until the biopsies on Mr. Lumpy and my lymph nodes are back . ( had my op Monday ) I sent for free booklets from this site, then found out I could just download them! Duh! Perhaps you just go stupid as well as deaf once you're diagnosed?? Hope this helps just a little. Good luck. X

Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Thanks so much Ann. Really helpful xx
ann-m
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melia
er+ means your bc has hormone receptors for oestrogen which feeds the bc. Most of us are er+, which means oestrogen hormone suppression treatment such as tamoxifen (there are others) is effective in treating it. So it is quite usual & a common bc diagnosis.
Do look at the main website here for explanations of it all, usually your team would give you the Breast Cancer Care info anyway.
When going through this stage, it is always difficult to take it all in, but it will all make sense in time.
ann x

Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Also I haven't been given any leaflets or nothing from the nurses is this right though they would at least give me a helpline number etc and basic information
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Thanks ladies so glad I found this site, I actually managed a few hours sleep but the waking up was the worst when reality kicked in! I've been perfectly fine all.morning and just felt like my normal self and then had a mini breakdown when I was unable to pick my daughter up or let her sit on my knee incase she banged my breast. Not sure how am gunna manage with this and an 18month old. From my initial biopsy my mam advised that they said I was er positive... what does this mean? Is this a good or bad thing. I forgot most of what they said once I heard the word cancer!
lilneenz
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi melia
Hope you slept well - I'm doing really well after the masectomy. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I had no pain really. It was odd at first seeing the scar, esp with no boob, but I'm concentrating on the treatment now and getting through it. I think we all adapt as we go through the process and what seemed completely terrifying and unthinkable at the start, becomes doable and we get through. We are stronger than we think xxxx
Optimissy64
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Melia

I was just rolling into bed when i thought of you, probably still up and worrying yourself ragged. At risk of sounding simplistic and patronising, can I share a tip for getting a decent night's kip?

 

Mentally put all your worries (and I mean ALL of them) into a strong imaginary wooden box - stuff them in and bang down the lid, then imagine yourself tying the box with string as though you were going to post it, so none of those worries can get out until you undo the box, then put it somewhere safe until you decide to open it again another day. You will know where it is, the worries aren't going to go away but you have contained them for now - you don't need to do anything about them for now, and can go to bed without them in your head 'cos they are in the box.

(And tell me if you think I'm barmy if you like!) Sleep Well. xxx

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melia,
You'll get all the info in time.
I was told mine was invasive & that I was er+ after the initial biopsy, initially it was grade 1 but grade 2 diagnosis was confirmed after the thing was removed.
Golden rule on here is to step away from google, so glad you've banned yourself! All it does is create a whole load of anxiety which is completely unnecessary to go through in these difficult early days of diagnosis.
There can be a time when its helpful, but that is further down the line when you know & understand what you're dealing with.
Do use this site or macmillan for info.
ann x
Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Mine was Invasive Ductal Carcinoma of 17mm (scan said 25mm but pathology said 17mm) and another 9 areas of IDC ranging from 0.5mm to 9mm - and I didn't feel a thing! Found on trial screening!
Optimissy64
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melia

sorry you find yourelf here - and SUCH a lot of new information to process. It's  a steep learning curve. Regarding hormone status, I didn't get told mine until after my lumpectomy, so maybe they can't tell until they have a decent amount of tissue - i.e. my lump -to analyse? They might be able to tell you from the biopsy, but I wasn't told my status that soon, and I didn't know what hormone status was anyway until I was told, (which is probably just as well, as I did not discover this Forum until after my op, so in a strange way I had less to worry about, and just took each appointment as it came and I just read the leaflets  they gave me, so I learned it all in slow time.) In a weird way I'm quite glad i wasn't reading a lot of these posts when first diagnosed as I think I would have been more anxious - sometimes a bit of ignorance at the start is a blessing, or it was for me anyway. (NOW of course i want to know everything about all of it!)

Good luck with it all - a horrid business, but very treatable, and there is life after BC, honest! xx

Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

The biopsy will check your ER PR and HER2 status. ER and PR are Estrogen and Progesterone and it will come back as either positive or negative. For example mine is ER+ and PR+ so my breast cancer fed off my hormones Estrogen and Progesterone. HER2 status I think is some sort of protein that is present (or not) around cells so if it's HER2 positive then it can grow quicker whereas if HER2 negative it's less aggressive. I'm sure someone on here will be able to explain it a lot better than I can. I wouldn't worry too much about that at this point because the breast care team will find out what status it is and tailor your treatment around it. This forum is a life saver - I was a complete mess at xmas - sat there thinking it had spread all over my body as you do (human nature) but honestly once you get the plan in place you can focus and know what path you are taking - at the moment you are at the crossroads not knowing where you are going and thinking the worst all the time - but honestly give it a few weeks and you will feel so much better. I won't lie, it's been a rollercoaster of a few months (diagnosed 15th Dec) but i'm going back to work in 2 weeks and I can't wait x
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Lilneez are u coping ok after mastectomy thanks for all The info everyone
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Looking at pictures and not lolling at them 🙊
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Would they have said from first biopsy results if it was invasive or not... when will I find out my hormone type and what's this for. Sorry for all the questions it's just all so confusing and feel I've been given very limited information so far 😓
lilneenz
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

I've also had a masectomy without reconstruction x
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Thanks Alex that's very reassuring about the boob... again Google obsessed and I've been lolling at pictures and some look horrific, defo banning myself from there! I honestly don't have a clue about er status etc, should I have been told this by now? And what is the her ? Am totally confused! I got told I was stage 2 yesterday but the nurse today told me they couldn't say until today's biopsy was back. So confusing
lilneenz
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi melia
I'm 43 and have grade 3 invasive 2cm (don't know hormone status until tomorrow) and I'm having chemo based on age and grade, apparently but not seen oncologist yet x
Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

PS - keep away from Google as it can have incorrect info and make you unnecessarily anxious and some of the info on Google is out of date x
Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

In fact my implant boob looks better than my other one lol!
Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Mentally I have been fine regarding the mastectomy - my boob looks exactly the same as it did just no nipple - but my consultant said he can arrange a nipple to be tattooed on if i want. Not sure if i'm bothered to be honest - you can't tell at all once i have a bra on.
Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melia - I was 48 when diagnosed - turned 49 not long after. I think it can depend on what grade the tumour is and the HER2 status. Mine was grade 2 and HER2 negative so I didn't need chemo. I think grade 3 tumours require chemo but I might be wrong - someone may be able to correct me. Do you know your ER and PR status?
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Thank you lilneez I appreciate that! And Alex that's great,... not great that u had to have a mastectomy but good that you didn't need further treatment. I'm terrified about these other lumps and if it's spread. If u don't mind me asking how old are you Alex as they said due to my younger age (38) I will more than likely need chemotherapy, I'm not really sure why, looking at Google it states it's more aggressive in younger people... which again is terrifying! How have u been mentally after the mastectomy I'm not sure I would cope unless they Done an immediate reconstruction like with you xx
Alex1967
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melia - sounds very similar to my experience in December - one lump then a few other smaller areas of malignancy. I did have a mastectomy due to this and had immediate implant reconstruction. I had my pathology results 2 weeks ago and all cancer had been removed and my lymph nodes clear - they told me I had 9 other small areas of it - but like i say, it's all gone now. I have no further treatment other than Tamoxifen. I did worry about mastectomy but because i've had the implant it really helps.
lilneenz
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Oh Melia I truly know exactly how you are feeling and it's an awful time. But we will get through this, with the help of all these lovely and kind women on here and come out the other side. Things are looking bright for us with all the treatment. It's hard not let fear take over....I know, I've been a complete mess the last few day, but we really will get there . I'm here if you need to chat.
X
Melia
Member

Re: So scared and anxious

Thank you both, people have said it will be esier once I've got a treatment plan in place. It doesn't feel that way at the moment. I think I will be in far worse place if they huge me the worst news, though this waiting is horrific. Trying to keep my emotions in check in front of everyone and bottling it up until in private but don't know how much longer I can try to put on a brave face. I have 2 small girls too and feel heartbroken everytime I look at them
ladybowler
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

Meliia

 

Just wanted to add my welcome to that of Ann's and to endorse everything she says,

 

Never worry about coming on here there will always be someone to help and support you.

 

Helena xx

ann-m
Community Champion

Re: So scared and anxious

Hi Melia,
So sorry you find yourself here, it is such a shock, but you are not alone.
The early days of diagnosis are always the pits, but it does get better when your treatment plan is in place. Treatment for bc is very effective now, with some of the best outcomes out there.
Many of us have been where you are now, have come out the other side & are now getting on with life.
If you haven't already, it may be an idea to see your gp about your depression, also, your team (usually the bcn), can arrange counselling support.
There is also the helpline here if you need to talk things through, the number is on the top of this page.
Do come on here & chat or vent whenever you want to, there is lots of support from those of us who are going through what you are, as well as from those of us further down the road.
When your treatment plan is confirmed, do go onto the going through teeatment thread where there will be others going through a similar stage in treatment to you.
Come back & chat whenever you want to.
hugs
ann x
Melia
Member

So scared and anxious

I never thought I would be posting in one of these forums 😓 ive been diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday and think I'm still in shock I go from being ok to randomly bursting into tears. I'm 38 years old and never expected this at my age.

The consultants weren't overly concerned about 2 lumps which were biopsied last week but they have came back as cancerous, I've been back in clinic today for a vaccum.biopsy which was agony and awaiting results next week. I'm totally overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings they have found calcifications too, does this mean my outcome will be worse? Also concerned as their is 4 or 5 other small lumps around my biggest lump does this mean these are cancerous too. I really want to avoid a mastectomy if possible but I'm thinking with all these lumps it doesn't look good... had anyone had similar so I can try and prepare for what might happen.

Also I was told by the bresst nurse Yesterday that from my tests I might not need chemotherapy but a different nurse today said I more than likely will due to my age.. so even more worried than I was yesterday. I'm not sure I could cope emotionally with a mastectomy as I've been suffering postnatal depression for a number of months now and think all of this is Going to tip me over the edge. Any advice greatly appreciated feel like am going mad right now and feel so alone 😓