So this is my new reality

[positivethinker]

Hi Fridak

How are you getting on?

Getting the op out of the way is a big relief.  Three weeks post op I have two thin scars - the one on my areola is hardly visible and the one under my arm is disappearing nicely, though very slightly swollen.  The worst part to get over is the tightness under my arm.  I have a little cording but am religiously doing the exercises to stretch it out.  As far as I am concerned - "it's" gone.

My surgeon has found some LCIS and I am going towards the option of no more surgery and careful monitoring, together with tamoxifen and radiotherapy.  My surgeon asked me if he found more LCIS in a re-excision, would that then sway me towards a mastectomy.  I said no, so he questioned whether it is worth further surgery.  I have had a recent MRI scan and apart from the tumour which is now out, and the historic lump which was a papilloma with no cancerous tissue round it, my breasts are clear of cancer - so for now I am cancer free and that's how I look at it.  People are very quick to announce that if it were them they would have further surgery and/or a mastectomy - but IT'S NOT THEIR BODY!!!!

How is your treatment plan progressing?  There's so much to take in isn't there?

Gentle hugs,  Diane xx

[FridaK]

Just a quick update. Saw my surgeon today. Clear margins and no lymph involvement, the relief is immense. I see the oncologist next week to discuss radiotherapy and tamoxifen. 

Thank you all for your support.

[June_BCC]

Hello MrsMogg

Welcome to the forums, I’m so pleased that you are finding them helpful.

Whilst waiting for replies to your post maybe you would like to give our free helpline a call where the staff can offer practical information as well as emotional support. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.

Best wishes

June, moderator

[MrsMogg]

You are two weeks ahead of me.  I got the same dx on Wednesday. I amhalf expecting someone to spring out of a cupboard telling me it is all  a joke.  I don't feel ill, and just had a routine scan...and now all this.  Quite mad really. I had half manic laughing when I was told I'd have to have chemotherapy...and hair loss. 

Like you, telling people is the worst.  My youngest daughter went hysterical, and the other two children started apologising for being horrible to me....and the OH's mother- well I swear she planning what to wear at my funeral already.Talk about morbid....for gawds sake....dont pity me, it irritates the hell out of me.

I am up to my eyes in my job, I really don't have any time for this. is this a normal reaction?...I have a little cry now and again ( esp with the thought of loosing my hair), but I feel extremely irritated about the inconvenience of it all.

Reading the forum has really helped, given me a reality check.  I am so lucky, my dx could have been a lot worse, I have a lot to be thankful for.  Well thats my first post...

Mrs Mogg

[positivethinker]

Hi ladies

I had my op on Friday afternoon and came back home Saturday morning.  Inserting the guide wires was not pleasant, but the surgeon said very necessary as the lumps would have been really hard to find otherwise.  My great news is no cancer in lymph nodes - he removed 3 and all clear.  I have two scars both sutured and superglued so no dressings at all.  A very neat job and the one on the areola should disappear completely in time.  I am very bruised and a little tender but have full mobility in my arm and apart from some numbness under the armpit and my small "batwing" everything feels normal.  Tiredness takes over and I sleep but am delighted to let you know that I am continuing to be positive.  I hope your recovery goes as well.  Oh yes - I stopped the codeine as it made me floaty and constipated!  Just on the paracetamol.

Diane xx

[FridaK]

Thanks, ladies. Yesterday I was in a bit of pain. I found it difficult to sit still but was told to rest. The boys and my husband told me to rest. It was our wedding anniversary so we watched House of Cards on Netflix and ate chocolates. In a funny way, it was the perfect way to spend it.

[Wemblo]

Good news Frida! That's one thing ticked off.

[daiseykins]

Hi fridak,pleased your op went well.remember to do your exercises x

[FridaK]

Had the surgery. Operation went well. Pain under control and I have good arm movements. Was discharged at 3pm. Now resting on the sofa. That's the first hurdle done.

[Nel]

Hi positive thinker. I had my surgery on 4th August 14. I had the marker inserted just abit uncomfortable but no real pain. Did not feel the blue dye injection at all. The surgery was a piece of cake. Did have a wee infection in both wounds but course of antibiotics sorted this. Best of luck you will be fine. I went in at 7.30 in the morning had both the procedures done and surgery on home for 6.30 and a fish supper for tea.

[Wemblo]

Frida. Lots of luck coming your way today xx I had my op yesterday and last night was the best nights sleep I've had in 3 weeks. I'm a bit sore but honestly not too bad at all. I've not even had any pain killers. Hope it's the same for you xx

[daiseykins]

Hi fridak,thanks for your reply.seen my oncologist for the first time today.it's about 6weeks since I had any contact with the hospital,so it was a relief to discuss my treatment.I am starting my radiotherapy in 2weeks then I have to take a hormone tablet called (letrozole) for 5yrs.I am like you,trying to keep positive for our loved ones.but I often have a good cry when I am on my own,but hopefully when we get our treatment started we will have more to focus on.sorry about your brother,good luck with your treatment let me know how you get on x

[FridaK]

I had guidelines inserted this evening, Dianne. It stung a wee bit when the local was injected but then it was fine. Good luck for Friday.

[positivethinker]

Hi

I saw my surgeon yesterday and as my malignant lump and benign papilloma are both so tiny and moveable, he is inserting guidewires into both.  Has anyone had this done - and is it painful?

Tomorrow it's the blue dye then Friday ... the Op.  All scary but a means to a positive outcome.

good luck girls

Diane xx

[FridaK]

Housewife insertion! Guidewire insertion. Oh the joys of predictive text

[FridaK]

Hi Daisykins, thanks for your post. I spoke to BBC nurse today. I am going for the dye and housewife insertion tomorrow. Must admit I had a cry after the call. I think things are sinking in now. I think it easier for me to focus on getting well because I have told what my treatment plan is. I feel like I am wearing a mask to keep things as positive and normal for my boys and my parents because my brother died of leukaemia. 

I hope all goes ok tomorrow for you.

[daiseykins]

Hi Fridak,reading your post has made me think.you seem to be a strong person.when I was diagnosed in June with invasive dci s grade 2,I was devastated.like everyone else on the forum,it's been like a rollercoaster.I am seeing my oncologist on Wednesday,hopefully I will find out what treatment I will be getting.then focus more on getting well,x

[FridaK]

Hi Diane, I hope all goes well for Friday. It must have been difficult telling your sons. 

I try not to think about it. I focus on a positive outcome. I try not to dwell on what ifs. Getting well and trying to get on with family life is my goal. 

[positivethinker]

Hi ladies

I am due to have a lumpectomy and SLNB on Friday 29th.  My journey sounds similar - found a tiny lump at the end of June, diagnosed as Stage 3 invasive ductal carcenoma after core biopsy.  Doctor thought it was a fibroadenoma so wasn't really worrying till she told me.  (It hadn't shown up on the mammogram.)  Surgeon asked for MRI scan then thought they may have diagnosis wrong - so renewed hope, but another ultrasound confirmed it is cancer, and took biopsies of a three year old fibroadenoma for testing as well.  I'm seeing the surgeon tomorrow for biopsy results and to hear his plan for Friday.  It's all quite terrifying when you think about it, so I try not to.  It took me until last Tuesday to brave telling my two sons who are in their twenties.  We lost their dad Christmas 2011 to pancreatic cancer so the "C" word is not good in our house.  I think the worst part is the waiting and wondering what is ahead. 

So good luck for your surgery this week and keep positive.

Love  and gentle hugs Diane xx

[FridaK]

Hi Wemblo. I hope all goes well on Wednesday. We will fight this. x

[Wemblo]

It sounds like I'm just one day ahead of you. My WLE and SNB is on Wednesday. I really think telling people is one of the hardest parts so far. The results from my biopsy show Stage 1 and my nurse stressed the importance of the post op exercises, Saying a frozen shoulder would be a far greater problem than the breast cancer which is very treatable. Let's fight this xx

[FridaK]

Good news that the other area on MRI is nothing to worry about. I am having my operation on Thursday.

 That gives me time to get organised. We are going to do the back to school tomorrow. Today I having been cooking food to freeze. My husband has been great and the boys seem to be getting used to things. I still feel on auto pilot. If I keep busy I won't have to think!

[FridaK]

So the MRI showed up another lump that the Consultant thinks is benign but need a biopsy to confirm. I am having a an ultrasound and guided biopsy tomorrow morning. I will get the results on Wednesday if it is cancerous then I am looking at a masectomy and reconstruction instead of WLE. 

There seems to be so many twists and turns on this journey.

[poemsgalore]

Whether you have a drain or not, really depends on your surgeon. I had MX and SNB in 2012. The op was done on Thursday, had a drain in. District nurse came and took it out on the Monday, as I couldn't get to the surgery. We have no transport and I didn't fancy catching a bus in December with a drain in. Wishing you all the best for your surgery and whatever comes after.

poemsgalore xx

[FridaK]

Thanks, LuckyLass. They never actually said, I think I might be getting confused by all the things I read. I thought I read that people had a drain. Might be getting the 2 ops mixed up.

[LuckyLass]

When I had WLE (and SNB) in early July, I didn't have a drain - have you been told there is a reason why you will have one?

[FridaK]

Had my MRI done, now crossing fingers for surgery on Friday.

Just a quick about the drain following WLE. When will it be removed? It's a Bank holiday weekend but I suppose I would go to the ward if it should come out before Tuesday.

[FridaK]

The consultant was very positive which really helped my husband and I feel better. 

I told our sons last night. Our 2 youngest took it the hardest. I think that is any members of our family who have had cancer have died. we just kept stressing that we trusted the doctor and he was hopeful for a good outcome. 

Just getting ready to go for my scan. I have ready it is very noisy but they will give me earplugs. This will be a real test of my mindfulness practice! 

I have a feeling this is all going to hit me soon. I think I have concetrating on keeping things together for the family because my brothers illness was so traumatic. My aim is to keep things as normal as much as possible. Being able to post here gives me a place to express how I am feeling without worrying my loved ones. From all my reading, the Tamoxifen worries me the most. I am already having hot flushes and it is manageable. But I will just have to wait and see and remember it effects everyone differently. And if that's what I need to stop the cancer coming back, then I will do it.

The kind words here really help.

[HelenRose]

So glad today went well and they seem to be moving things quickly. I think it is important that you like the people who are treating you. I know I don't know you but you seem more positive which is good to see. Tell you children when you are feeling most positive xx

[FridaK]

Thanks, Songbird.

It went well. Really liked the consultant. I have an MRI tomorrow and go back and see him on Thursday. If there is no sign of any other areas then will have WLE and SNB on Friday. Then radiotherapy and tamoxifen. Otherwise a mastectomy and reconstruction in September.

I am relieved he was very optimistic. It makes it a bit easier to tell the boys tonight.

[songbird68]

Good luck today FridaK, thinking of you and sending big hugs 🙂
x x

[FridaK]

Thanks, Helen Rose.

I do like walking. Just back from a long walk with the dog. It does help clear the head. At least tomorrow I will find out the plan of action. 

[HelenRose]

Hiya Sorry to hear your diagnosis It's such a shock isn't it ...my house has never bed so tidy as I felt well I'm going to die so better not put things off - and obviously if i die all my family & friends will be pleased i have no ironing and my tin cupboard is perfect! Thankfully that phase passed quickly ! Do you like walking as I found I walked for miles and miles which clears your head. It's a terrible time for you and yours and telling your children and family is terrible. The one thing that helped me when I had to tell them was when I went for my pre op the surgeon said prognosis wise I was better off sitting there with the BC I have than if I had heart disease; kidney problems or side effects of say diabetes which helped me alot. Best wishes and I promise you find strength you never knew you had xx

[FridaK]

Just had my diagnosis of invasive ductal breast cancer, grade 1 on Friday. I have an appointment on Monday. I found the whole experience at the hospital traumatic so am using private health insurance for my treatment.

I have 4 sons. So far only my eldest knows. We will tell the eldest tomorrow after my consultation. I have been told the cancer is small and very treatable. It was hard telling my parents. My younger brother died 10 years ago from leukaemia. 

The reality is kicking and I am trying to keep positive. Reading the forum really helps. I find I can't sit still, I need to keep doing things. I shed some tears on Friday but now it feels like I am auto pilot. 

I am sure I will have loads of question after Monday.