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So upset

12 REPLIES 12
chrisie
Member

Re: So upset

Thanx twinny2
Wow that was great i'm so glad you got it sorted. You go girl!!!!!

chrisie x

twinny2
Member

Re: So upset

Hi again Chrisie

I thought I’d drop you a line to let you know how I got on…Brilliantly actually, I hadn’t seen my GP since before my diagnosis, so he was due a visit anyway. I explained the situation and asked if he would be OK to check I was in ‘tip top shape’ after the traumatic year I’d had. He was incredibly splendid and was really positive that it would be a good proactive approach. So I’ve booked an appointment to see the nurse for a general health check up and blood tests. He explained what he will be testing for and I’m fully satisfied that he is being very thorough and that has given me some extra reassurance….I hope there is some blood left in my body after it’s been extracted for all the tests!

I know I’ve been lucky that the old GP has come up trumps, but I suppose this ‘chapter’ of after treatment is something that we have to work through. But I know exactly what you mean when you say you cried after treatment…so did I…for days and days and still do…but not as much now! I find the worst times are when I’m on my own, so I now try to keep busy…even taking the dog out for a walk when he’s reluctant to go!

Have you told your family how you feel or maybe a close friend? I’ve told my husband and he has been wonderful (lucky me again, he has been A1 all the way through). He can’t change the muddle of thoughts & fears that go through my head, but if I’m feeling tearful I tell him now and he gives me a big cuddle and is very attentive (and usually cooks dinner for me, while filling my wine glass…bonus!) then I don’t feel I’m going through it alone. I also told my sister yesterday, that I felt I wasn’t coping well and explained that in some ways this is worse then treatment. Treatment, however horrible, is tangible and making a positive step to get rid of the cancer…but waiting to see if it’s worked is plain cruel and it just simply does my head in!

Anyway you take care, maybe a little snooze on the sofa when you’re tired, will help? Why don’t you give yourself a treat…you deserve it. Also…random thought…have you tried reflexology…it’s supposed to be good for stress? Let me know how you get on if you see a nutritionist?

Take it easy..

Xx

chrisie
Member

Re: So upset

Oh thankyou everyone,
for your lovely replies, sometimes i feel like i'm going mad lol. But it seem's like i'm not the only one with concern's. I think your right though i do need to find something to occupy my mind although i'm not at the state of mind to enjoy everything in life, just yet but hopefully soon!
I think i have coped with all my treatment very well and of course when i think back i had that to focus on for nearly a year and now i'm not on treatment except for the tomaxifen tablet's i am allowing my mind to run away with itself.
Its so hard though, coping with day to day life, the kid's and their drama's friend's & families too, oh and the tiredness is rediculous i can feel my body "shutting down" with exhaustion and it's only 2pm in the afternoon!!
It sound's terrible but the last day of my rad's i came home an cried an my only thought's were the clock has started ticking to the cancer coming back.....see i told you i was mad!! lol

Twinny2 i will be very interested in what your doctor says and i was thinking of going to my g.p and asking her to refer me onto a nutrisionist to see if i can get some healthy eating advice and good vitimamin's as my old body need's a booster lol.

chrisie x

Burnie
Member

Re: So upset

Hi Chrisie,
I'm sorry you are so upset, I remember asking my onc' about tests & scans after my chemo finished about 18 months ago because I heard that some people were having them, he laughed and said that the time to worry is if you are invited for a scan. I have gradually got used to the not knowing, I think sometimes that everyone is in this situation, there are people walking about with cancer and are not even aware of it, perhaps we are lucky that we are in the system and have regular checks.

Try and have something to look forward to, it doesn't matter how small it is but someting to focus on keeps me sane (although I sometimes feel most abnormal in my thoughts), I have black days and good days but manage somehow to make the most of what I still have to live for.

Give it a try, plan something that's nice, when you've enjoyed that, plan something else, it works for me. Let the professionals worry about what you need, thats what they are good at. Take care xx

everydaymatter
Member

Re: So upset

hi old timer, it seems like you have same diagnose as myself, except i had lumpectomy,full node clearance, mastectomy, but no rads. i too have secondaries in spine, ribs , and thorax but at last scan there had been no growth. do you find as well as pain, which is bearable at moment, you get a soreness. i find i get on with life and enjoy every moment, because im not spoiling the time i have. i dont want to look back and think "i could have done this that and the other. the time may come when i cant, but for now i can, and im so grateful. take carex

stylish
Member

Re: So upset

I am just about finishing my treatment and I do feel so down as well, I have coped very well with a very heavy treatment and 2 operations in between, but I think finally all this took its toll now. I feel very depressed and with no much will to do anything really. Maybe because I stopped working completely and having a very quite life, whereas before i used to have a full-time job and a very active life! Well, I think the financial strains of not working also contributes, I believe.

xxx

oldtimer
Member

Re: So upset

Hi chrissie and all

I have felt the same - how do they know the treatments , and in my case, medication (Tamoxifen & Bonefos) are working?
I had a check this month after a 3 month gap. I finished treatment (chemo, surgery & rads in Sept 08). I now have a 6 month gap.

The oncologist I saw prefers the patient 'me' to say when not feeling right rather than having scans and tests etc...
I think I am happy with that as I do recognise and 'hear' my body - this is cos I have secondaries on my spine...My care nurse says that it is all to the good that they dont want to see me for 6 months.

I was told to phone or go through my gp if I didnt feel right for any length of time. If I have back pain I think oh oh - but it goes away and I forget about my spine until the next ache/pain.

After all the appts and treatments of last year its nice not to have to go to hospital very often but it does take time to adjust after all that and to go back to 'normal' living.
Its both good and a bit scary wondering if anything is going to happen but as others have said - enjoying life and living is the future now.

Glad you posted
Jan

Marilynleah
Member

Re: So upset

In April 2007 I asked my onc "how do you know that the chemo has worked". He replied "when you're still asking the question in 20 years time"

I'm still wondering 2 years later. Not as often though.

Take care
Marilyn x

Sam_BCC
Member

Re: So upset

Hi Chrissie

As Judy mentioned if you would like to talk through your worries and concerns please do give the BCC helpline a call. Here you can talk to one of our trained members of staff who can offer you a listening ear as well as support and information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday and 10am to 2pm Saturday.

I hope this helps.

Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)

horace
Member

Re: So upset

Dear Chrisie I am so sorry you are upset but you have done so well to get to this point.I know it varies from place to place but in general they dont do scans immediately after treatment unless there are symptoms that need to be investigated.They dont want to expose you to more radiation[CT]after rads treatment and also your body is settling down after some pretty aggressive treatment which may itself leave various residues which could be picked up.It is great that they dont want to see you till August it means that your team is pretty sure all is well.Just try to enjoy your Summer and come to terms with all that has happened.Rest assured that if you need scans etc in future you will get them.I finished treatment in May 2007.
Take care,Love Valxx

twinny2
Member

Re: So upset

Hi Chrisie

Snap.. I’m in a very similar situation to you. One year on, after mastectomy and recon, I’ve just had my first yearly check-up with examination and chitty chat but no ‘tests’. So I know exactly how you feel and it gets me down too, you’d think they would do more to check everything’s OK. I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands, although I feel fit (but tired which is maybe to be expected) I’ve made an appointment with my GP this afternoon to see if he will give me an ‘MOT’. I don’t think he will check for ‘cancer markers’ but if I can get him to check major organ functions etc, I may feel better. I’m only 3 months after recon and so am due a checkup with the PS next month, I’ve found a small lump on my recon breast (after the appointment with surgeon unfortunately) so will ask him to take a look.

I’ll let you know how I get on this afternoon if you’re interested?

Maybe some of the ladies out there that have gone through this can give us both some advice…here’s hoping.

judyw47
Member

Re: So upset

Hi Chrissie

Its awful isnt it! I'm just a few months ahead of you with treatment and live each day worrying about symptoms. I dont think we get any screening or test other than the annual mammo unless we display symptoms. I go back to hospital every 16 weeks alternating between the surgeon and onco. Only been back once and all I got was a breast examination. Due to go again in 3 weeks time with a list of my anxieties as long as my arm!

Trying to enjoy my life as much as possible whilst I am well. It really does help to talk to others on here and the BCC helpline is wonderful too.

Best wishes from Judy x

chrisie
Member

So upset

Hi everyone,
My name is chrisie & i am 37 years old.
This is my 1st post here as i thought i was coping really good until yesterday and now i am so down and in tear's all the time.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago i had a lumpectomy & full clear out of the lymph glands in april 2008, i then had 8 months chemo and 5 weeks radium which i finished on 22nd jan this year.
I went last month to see my surgeon who was talking about reconstruction on my other breast in august, which was fine but he did no test's,just a chat.
I had my appiontment yesterday with my oncologist and i thought he would be talking to me about some test's when i asked him if i could be tested to see if all my treatment had worked he told me they don't test me for that so i explained i was very worried and he said that was fine and in a few months i would learn to live with the not knowing!!!
I could'nt believe it but he just shrugged me off, he couldnt wait to get away from me (think he was late for his golf lesson)
So is this normal? Have you all had any test's after your treatments? Am i being pathetic? Blowing it all up out of proportion!
I really did think they'd do something, so now ive got to wait till august to see anyone!
Sorry guy's for going on!

Chrisie x