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Spring into chemo in March

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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Good luck to everyone having chemo tomorrow, may this round of tax be easier on you all. As usual my neuts aren't high enough so I have to go in early for another blood test, fingers crossed they've recovered. I had a lovely meal tonight chicken stroganoff followed by passion fruit cheesecake delish! And no washing up to do, even better. I feel content, I'm up to date with my washing, OH has two weeks worth of shirts ironed and the bathrooms have been cleaned, house vacuumed and weeding done. Bring on #5 high five to stay alive!
Sending you other ladies lots of love and support
Karen xxx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi everyone
I've been making the most of my last day of freedom before #5 tomorrow. The sunis shinning, I decided to make myself a little picnic. Then I cycled down to the harbour and watched the yachts and fishing boats while enjoying my picnic. It just makes you think I wouldn't be enjoying this moment if I was stuck in the office. To begin with I really missed my work routine, but I'm getting quite used to this feeling of what will I do today? OH called and said he's taking me out for dinner tonight. Only 3 more weeks to go hurrah! I'm going out to do some gardening. My house needs vacuuming but that can wait. Sending you all big hugs and lots of good wishes, this time tomorrow hopefully I'll have had my penultimate blast.
Karen xxxI
Jlr
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi everyone,

Well am finally back in the land of the living after round 5, I do find the side effects of tax horrendous, they really floor me and hubby has pretty much confined me to bed to rest bless him.
Anyway feeling much better today and keep telling myself only one more to get through!

Hope you are all faring well, take care xx
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Jess, thinking of you today. x
I'm sitting here waiting for the dexys to kick in - I have a lot to accomplish before my parents arrive later!
have a lovely day everyone. xx
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Thats another good thing about not using the cold cap, you can sleep whilst having chemo! I hope it goes well tomorrow 😉 xxx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

I'm on the steroids too and can't sleep. Oh well, I should be able to get some zzzzzs in the chemo chair tomorrow! Night night all.
xx
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi,
Carol-Yes definitely reschedule the lgfb if you can fit in. Some of the ladies had finished their treatment when I went along. The cold cap didn't fit me either as have lost most on crown but have some at back & sides. But when I go for chemo, they think it's working as they think my wig is my hair, I wish! My bottom eye lashes are disappearing & still using mascara. I think they grow back quickly though. I have started putting half a sugar in my tea to stop it tasting salty & It works! I can't get used to walking around with no hat & wig on especially when my kids are around as don't want to upset them, silly I know but I don't like looking at me like it either. Would probably look better if I clippered it too to even it up but will decide after next chemo.
Scotty dog-I didn't have any accurate measurements when I was last scanned as I had an ultra sound & mine seems a difficult one to measure without doing an mri. But it was 43mm before chemo & they said it had shrunk but also broken down which onc said was good, better than growing she probably meant! I think it depends on breast size on whether they do a mx or lumpectomy. I will probably be more focused on surgery once chemos finished. It looks like we have 4 weeks afterwards to get our heads around it anyway. I have tried to research the temporary implants but can't find any info, just the one that inflates.
Mungosmum-Those Dexy's are working but won't let me sleep! I was told by onc that I can take paracetomol & ibuprofen at the same time if aches & pains are bad again, so hoping that will help a bit.
Night everyone xxx
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC-T Cycle 4 day 20
Woolfie - What a day! You probably needed the fish and chips after a day like that. Put's my hour and a half waiting for a Nurse led appointment into perspective!
Nipinuk - You need another holiday just to recover from clearing up from the last! Best of luck with the dental appointment tomorrow. x
Daffodil - Hope the SEs stay manageable. May the dexy's keep working!
Carol - Robbie Williams! Definately worth postponing a cycle for! What is it with leg hair? I was looking forward to having smooth legs for a change, only to find that this is the only area to which it is resolutely sticking! Hope your bloods are OK, I think I have got away with it as I have not heard back from the hospital today. Roll on Friday!
Shelley - We haven't heard from you for a while. How are you doing on FEC? Hope you are OK. Are you getting another round tomorrow? Good luck if so. x
Best wishes to all,
xx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Nipinuk interesting feedback about the clips in those who have had surgery, it must be similar to the marker I had inserted to mark the location of the tumour. They gave me an incision and inserted it . Interestingly its a ribbon shape, which may explain why they have pink ribbons as the logo for this and other BC charities. Apparently they won't set off the metal detectors in airports!
Mungos Mum sorry to hear you had an extreme allergy to your last treatment and hope they can alleviate this risk this week. I'll be crossing my fingers and toes for you while I'm having my chemo
Choccy That's

a shame you'll miss Lgfb but best not to over do things, will you get to the next session? I can highly recommend its a giggle and you'll be spoilt with your goodie bag xx

Daffodil you're lucky to have your mri & scan so soon, I'm booked in for first week in July. Great you've got a break to Cornwall to relax in between. Let me know how you get on? I'm intrigued to know what size the ttumour needs to be for it to be a wle or a mx. I googled it but can't find an accurate answer. What size is your tumour? Mine was 13x17x20 in May, hopefully will bd reduced by next scansFinally thanks to all for the suppirt and reassurance about surgery, I'm scared but excited. Its really helpful to know that chemo is more of a struggle thsn the operation, which gives me peace of mind. Thsnks so much.

.Have a nice evening lovely ladies


Karen xxx


Choccy61
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC-T, Cycle 4, Day 20 (Tax)

Afternoon Ladies,
Hope you're all basking in sunshine wherever you may be! I'm sitting in the garden, in the sun (sun hat and high factor cream) with a Calippo 😄

Just been for my line care and bloods - fingers crossed they're OK and I can go ahead with no. 5 on Friday, and first herceptin. Seeing onco tomorrow and getting a list of questions together. My most important question is whether I can delay my final session (assuming I'm OK for this week) because I'm going to see Robbie Williams at Wembley on 29th June with my sisters 😄 I booked it last year as a surprise and my treat for them and will be gutted if I can't go!

Woolfie - you are amazing! What a day you had yesterday - and managing to fit in Race For Life amongst your and your husband's treatment, I don't know how you do it. I hope your SEs are minimal and that you'll get to put your feet up at some point today. No, I don't watch Scott and Bailey, but I've seen it advertised and thank you for the compliment!
Nipinuk - welcome back! That's really kind of you to offer to go with me for rads - I think by the time I start, you will have had enough! Will find out tomorrow when I should start and how many sessions. Bit shocked about your titanium clips! I had no idea but I'm going to add that to my list for tomorrow! I think you should definitely review the sleeping arrangements when your in-laws come to stay - I'm sure they would understand? Hope you got on OK at the dentist.
Christine - hope your bloods are OK and that they've come up with a plan fr your next treatment. You've been very busy in your garden? Our patio and pots look lovely but the garden itself is a bit overgrown - unfortunately weeds like the sun as much as flowers and shrubs! I might put the steroid effect to good use on Saturday and do a bit then before the aches and pains start!
Karen - your weekend sounds lovely. Fantastic to just be able to up-sticks ang get away for a couple of nights whenever you can. I know what you mean about wanting to be BC free - this time last year we no idea we would be in this situation now! In fact this time last year I had whooping cough and thought that was bad - what I'd give to have that instead now!
Daffodil - well done on your perseverance with the cold cap! I'm sure if my first attempt had been tighter it would have worked for me as I've never lost all my hair. I had it clipped again about 3 weeks ago and have a thin covering of hair all over my head. Interesting about not wearing wigs, hats etc - I shall be baldy waldy coot around the house a lot more now! And by the way, I finally got round to ringing up about LGFB and they rang and offered me a place in Thatcham on Monday but it's a bit short notice with work and No. 5 this Friday.
Jess - the more I read that story about your dog, the more worried I got! So glad he was OK though! Hope treatment goes OK for you tomorrow and that your SEs are better this time.
Angela - sorry about your tooth and now your leg. I hope the injections have boosted your white cell count - aren't you due no. 5 on Friday?
Jlr - how did no. 5 go for you?
Suzy - hope your temperature sorted itself out and that you're OK.
CocoButterfly - I hope round 5 went well for you, and the first herceptin. I'm just 3 days behind you. Hope you don't need to spend too many days under the duvet this time round - just one to go now 🙂

Ive also piled on the pounds and really hope I can shift it once chemo ends. Fully aware it's mostly down to me - I've had lots of treats!

On the subject of all things hairy, my eyelashes are also very short - playing hunt the eyelash with the mascara every morning! I'm a bit upset about my eyelashes as they were quite long, and I know they'll grow back but I didn't want to look like a cancer patient, and it's just one more thing which defines you as one. My eyebrows are hanging on and I'll continue with the Mavala (using it on my eyebrows too) as long as I've got something there even if it's only 1 eyelash! I probably started it a bit late in hindsight. Irritatingly, I'm going to have to shave my legs again - there's no justice in this world - but I guess we know that!

In the time it's taken me to write this, I've had to move into the shade and have exchanged my Calippo for a cup of tea - looking forward to tea not tasting salty! I wonder how long it takes for taste buds to get back to normal?

Hope I havent missed anyone, and good luck to those having treatment tomorrow or Friday. Have a lovely evening everyone.

Carol x
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Fec-t cycle 5 tax day 2
Hi Everyone, just gjving my head another blast of day light to try to encourage the growth. Have you all noticed that we tan very easily if you feel up to lying in it?
Mungosmum-Luckily we are well screened by trees at the moment, wouldn't want to scare anyone. Our veg seems a bit slow as it turned cold as soon as we planted up. I hope tax goes ok tomorrow, I'm sure they will be more prepared this time.I also had the nosebleeds but took clarityn & that helped as stopped nose running so much.
Scottydog-Yes it's lovely to see other ladies who have had surgery, looking so well & getting back to normal. I'm having an ultrasound & mri next tuesday so will see how things are progressing. But we are fitting in another trip to Cornwall on the following saturday so have an app to see bc when I get back to find out about surgery. But will get a good idea from ultra sound whether its an mx or lumpectomy. After the other night I am not so concerned about an mx now.
Woolfie-I think you both deserved fish & chips after your very trying day yesterday!
Just waiting for the dreaded se's, it was friday afternoon last time so hoping I get another good day. Have no appetite on tax, just feel very bloated. No sleep last night because of steroids despite taking a sleeping tablet. Oh is doing a bbq later so will have a glass of wine whilst I can enjoy it & that normally makes me hungry.
Jess-I hope no 5 went ok today & the emend & domperidone do there stuff.
I hope it all goes well tomorrow for anyone having chemo, sorry lost count. I don't even know what date it is half the time, right pain when food shopping as everthing has to be eaten that day! Never mind not long now ladies.Take care everyone xxx

Woolfie
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC cycle 4 day one
What a day yesterday! Arrived at hospital befor 9 for OH's appointment with his oncologist suggested blood transfusion as his red blood count down he refused. Then plan was to go for my chemo scheduled for 10.30. Went and waited until way after 11 was eventually taken into treatment room and at moment nurse led so she went through how I had been etc before handing me over to nurse who was to administer drugs. Had to fit in OH's rads at some point so asked if there was going to be a delay (meds had not arrived by this point) cold we go and get that done at least. Could we wait 15 mins? nearly an hour later nurse came and changed and flushed picc then said we could go as meds still not there. so we did. came back still no meds and the room was freezing everyone was asking for blankets. OH went off to wait in radiotherapy room as I thought (taking no phone or money with him) as he was too cold. I got out of there after 5.30 then couldn't find the OH! slight panic moment then eventually found him sitting round a corner in the sun. Thanks to 'Van the man', out new vehicle, it wasn't too long before we were home. Have to rethink our next joint treatment day! Rewarded ourselves with fish and chips is this a good idea since I am gaining weight?
Nipinuk-you were reading about scans I was reading about FEC and TAX as I didn't understand why people were on different regimes. Am a little bit wiser now. Bit confusing as they use different names for things.
TwinNumer1-Hope you are feeling better. Glad your dog was ok.
Daffodil -1 to go the end is in sight! I have 2 more. I really feel for those on TAX it does seem to have terrible side effects.
Scottydog I have sent you a messge regarding recon hope that is ok
Angela -hope the tooth is getting sorted out.
Nipinuk
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC75 Cycle 4 Day 13
Hubby n I had a lovely massage this morning. CT scan in the afternoon went well. Found out I've got 4-6 titanium clips where the tumour was. Surgeon never told me that. Did you ladies who've had tumours removed know you've got clips in you?
Anyway, I found out a bit more about the trial. Patients are selected from all cover UK. There are only 20 participating in the trial in Southampton. Southampton oncology waiting area is a bit like an airport lounge with uncomfortable chairs. Parking was a nightmare. Winchester is much nicer and cosier.
Managed to do another load of washing. Had to bring our own bedding for hols. Still got beach towels, normal towels, and another set of bedding to wash!
Plasterer was in all day and he's done half a bedroom - yay! Another step closer. We've still got to knock and reconstruct a wall between current upstairs and extension. Still loads to do. I've finally ordered the fridge we want so we can finish the kitchen.
Talked to in-laws and suggested that they stay 2 weekends with us. Really funny as speakerphone was on and hubby upon hearing that, started gesturing wildly, making his fingers into a gun symbol and putting it to his head! Mil doesn't do very much and we normally give up our bed and sleep with the kids. Hmm might have to review that 🙂
Karen, it was great to get away and I'd recommend it! The change of scene benefited me and I recovered quicker compared to the last 2 cycles although my taste buds have gone out the window.
All the best to those having treatments tomorrow!
got early app wi dentist tomorrow. Hope to fill my gap! Xx
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC-T Cycle 4 day 19
Off to see the nurses tomorrow, bloods and plan for next cycle. I do feel a bit apprehensive as I had an allergic reaction to tax, but from the bit of reading I have managed to find, I think next dose will go ahead, with antihistamines to prevent the reaction, presuming bloods are OK tomorrow. I had about 4 days of nose bleeds, but these have stopped, so I’m hopeful the blood counts are back up again. I hope so anyway as OH has another cold! I’ve banished myself to the spare room again!
I managed to get out for lunch with a friend today and had a pear cider, first alcohol in weeks; I had to sleep it off this afternoon! I have managed to potter in the garden for the last few days, which is now looking much tidier, and almost ready for planting up.
Had a shock this morning when I noticed that all my eyelashes were only a few mm long, and my eyebrows have thinned. I was hoping I had escaped hair loss this cycle, sadly not.
Woolfie – Well done for completing the walk on Sunday. Hope your treatment went well, three weeks and counting
Daffodil – I hope you are finding tax easier to deal with, hope it went well today. I’ve had to put some of my clothes away for a while, and have resorted to elasticated trousers as the occasional bloating makes tailored clothes too tight! I’ll raise a glass with you in three weeks! I’m keeping my hats on around the house as we live in a built up cul de sac, and I don’t want to scare the neighbours! I also don’t want to burn my ears......
Karen – I love reading about your weekends, you make me wish we had a camper van! I’m with you about lying on my front – it has stopped me going for a massage. I might have acupuncture instead, although I have had reflexology before which I found surprisingly relaxing.
Angela – I hope you are feeling better today, and you managed to get an appointment. You’d think there would be a protocol for treating chemo patients for dental emergencies – hospitals seem to have a protocol for everything else!
Nipinuk – I’m exhausted just reading about your day! I hope you are feeling stronger every day, recovering from your last infusion. It’s great that you have volunteered for a trial, especially as you get monitored for 10 years. The on going monitoring is something I need to discuss with the onc – waiting until I show symptoms doesn’t quite work for me.....
Jess – What a rollercoaster week you have had! I’ve had some low days this cycle too. I decided that I am getting tired of the process and want it finished, and life to go back to as normal as possible. It hasn’t helped that I am not driving whilst on Tax as I am just so spaced out all the time (at least I am blaming the Tax, ES has not noticed a difference!) What a relief your dog recovered without medical intervention. Mungo would eat anything if we didn’t keep hawk eyes on him! I’m paranoid after seeing horrific pictures of things people leave out to damage foxes, but many dogs eat them. Thankfully, Mungo is more interested in chasing birds at the moment! I’ve had a couple of scans, and like you have to close my eyes when the plate comes down. I’m hoping I never have to have an MRI!
We’re nearly at the summit! I believe Jess and NoraBatty have treatments tomorrow; Good luck!
Best wishes, Christine xx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Daffodil
How wonderful for you to meet other ladies and talk openly about mx . Thanks for the hair regrowth advice, I've been covering up so will definitely take this on board. Great you have 1cm already xx
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Fec-t cycle 5 tax day 1
Hi Ladies, chemo no 5 out of the way, mentioned ache & pains to onc, she seemed to think it was the neulastra & just said only 1 more left! So will be taking Lola's advice.
Scottydog-I went to a support group last night & the ladies there had mastectomy's but a temporary spacer put in immediately after. Had a look & was very impressed, more chance of infection but I will almost definatley give it a go if needed.
Nipinuk-Pleased you had a lovely holiday, I had a CT scan & had a radioactive dye injection in the morning then had to come back in the evening for the scan. I had to starve beforehand, then drink that disgusting barium stuff. Will be interesting to see how rads go.
Angela-I hope the ab's are kicking in, toothache is not a very helpful distraction but I know what your oh means!
Twinnumber 1- I hope you cope better with no 5, the emend worked a treat with me too. Sounds like you have a very understanding onc. I too have been really grumpy & waistbands are very tight. I spoke to onc nurse & she said that it's steroids & fluid retention. I am still using the cold cap & baldy bits are about 1cm long now, I read on the nhs website about hair growth to keep hats & wigs off as much as possible to help hair growth. I have been keeping my head covered as felt so hideous with old hair & bald patches but desperate so sat in the shade hatless!
I hope everyone else is ok & if anyones having chemo no 5 tomorrow, hope all goes well xxx


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Re: Spring into chemo in March

TAC 4/6 – day 20
Hi everyone

It’s been quite a while since I last posted – this has been due to a number of things. Firstly, my side effects from Round 4. I was given some Emend to help combat the nausea which really helped. I only had to take anti sickness meds for the first 10 days as opposed to off and on for the whole 21 days, so a great improvement. However, my low moods/being emotional was really bad this time! Lots of tears, upsets, feeling really low, etc. My poor family really got it in the neck this time but they totally understand it is not “me”. Anyway, on Day 10 things really improved. At my 3 weekly meeting with the Oncologist last week, he said he would prescribe me something for the low moods for round 5 but that it would make me sleep more than usual but that’s fine by me! I had a bone scan last week and nearly lost it completely. I was fine until the plate came down and stopped a few cms away from my face, I didn’t like that very much so I closed my eyes trying to think of nice thoughts but my heart started to race and I was getting really panicky, I don’t think it helped having my arms swaddled in sheets so I couldn’t move. The Radiologist was great, and sat and held my head and got me to calm down and I managed to stay put.
My twin sister took our dog for a cliff walk on Saturday (I couldn’t go as it was too long a walk for me) and finished the walk on the beach so he could have a swim. On Sunday, he started to get quite off colour, being sick, so we monitored him for the day but he got worse, he couldn’t stay lying down for more than 2 mins, he kept stretching out his back legs so it looked like he had a blockage. My sister rushed him to the vets at 3 am on Monday morning and by mid morning they were going to operate as there was a blockage. However, he started to show signs of improvement and the blockage was on the move!! It turned out to be some seaweed stalks he ate on the beach on Saturday had got stuck in his small intestine. Anyway, it all turned out ok in the end and no surgery was needed.
Nipinuk – Nice to have you back and I hope you enjoyed your break and was able to get some well earned relaxation? I’m afraid I can’t help you regarding the CT scan. For my bone scan last week I did have an injection 2.5 hours beforehand of radioactive stuff but it wasn’t the contrast medium used for CT scans. How are you getting on with the holiday washing? I’ve been doing loads of washing and ironing to try and get ahead of the game before the next infusion when I won’t be doing anything for a while. I see you start radiotherapy on 16 June, you’ll have to keep us all posted as to how you get on.
Angela – so sorry to hear about your tooth problem and your leg pain. Having pain like that can get too much. In round 1 I had the most terrible jaw pain and the jaw really swelled up. I had blood tests, chest x-ray, given ABs but eventually, the Onc said it was just a reaction to the Neulasta jab. I really didn’t know what to do with myself with the pain. I really hope the tooth can be sorted soon and the leg pain eases up. I too have the sparse stubble on my head that never dropped out, and it has definitely grown as I can feel it moving in the wind if I go outside without a scarf on! I’ve decided to leave it until the rest starts to grow back and when I have some length to the rest of it, I’ll get it all cut to one length. To answer a previous post, my parents live in Villefranche-Sur-Mer which is about the furthest south they could get in France, it makes for a long drive when we go and visit them (we take the dog so have to drive) but it is worth it once you get there.
Karen – your weekend in the campervan sounded lovely, a good break. I too have been trying to get things crammed into my good week before round 5 on Thursday. So glad you have a date for your surgery.
Daffodil – 3 weeks today and it will be your last Tax – 3 weeks on Thursday and it will be my last TAC – I really cannot wait. As you say, a lot of celebrating. At the start of the chemo train, it all seemed such a long way off but we are getting there! I too am suffering from very watery eyes, it has been continuous now for the last couple of weeks and it makes it impossible to keep any make up on. Sorry your massage didn’t go according to plan. I’ve got quite a few vouchers for massages etc which I am storing up for when I finish treatment and I’m looking forward to it!
Woolfie – well done on doing the Race for Life in Regents Park. Very impressed, I have been joining my sister for the dog walk each morning for the last week but my legs are like lead. It’s a real effort getting them moving.
Cocobutterfly – I hope everything went ok today for your 5th chemo? I too have put on a few pounds since starting chemo, 12lbs in fact! I can’t believe how quickly it has gone on but I do crave carbs a lot and so much fruit and veg tastes awful to me for the first 10-15 days. I can only eat good food during my good last week. I’ve decided not to be too hard on myself though and just sort it out once I’ve finished chemo.
Christine – what a lovely surprise your OH organised for you. It is nice to get dressed up etc and just forget about everything else for a while.
Suzy – how are you feeling? Has your temperature come down?
Honeymonster – I hope the blood transfusion went ok on Saturday and you are feeling better soon and glad you have a date now for your op.
Carol – I’ve been using the Mavala for a couple of months now and so far so good in that I haven’t lost my eyelashes yet.
Norah – The Emend has really helped this time round with my nausea – I only had to take Domperidone over the first 10 days instead of having to take it off and on for the whole three weeks.
I hope everyone else is feeling ok?
Good luck to everyone having chemo this week.
Jess xx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Welcome back Nipinuk! Hope you enjoyed your break? Its always a chorecatching up with all the washing. With three boys to look after I can imagine you have an impressive pile, if my OH is anything to go by. Thats great you have a start date for your rads. Thanks for the links to the scans, my hospital does MRI they sound quite similar, although I'm sure you'll correct me hehe!
Unfortunately my massage didn't go to plan, it was very uncomfortable lying on my chest and it would have been counter productive to lie on it for an hour, so I turned sround on my back and she did some reiki. I think I'll stick with reflexology next time.

My eye brows seem to have a growth spurt this week, which is unexpected. I hope the same happens on my head.
Woolfie good luck for today. I was interested to read your comments about your recon. I'm still waiting to hear if I'll need a mx. Did they do an immediate recon? Any tips for me or questions to ask the surgeon?
Angela good luck with the jabs hope your bits and pieces feel back to normal
Speak soon xxx

Nipinuk
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Can't sleep as reading up about CT scans. Looks like I wasn't given much information about this at all!
about CT scan - http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/tests/ct-scan
at royal marsden - http://www.royalmarsden.nhs.uk/diagnosis-treatment/tests-investigations/pages/ct-scans.aspx
Interesting dose comparisons for ironising radiation - http://www.hpa.org.uk/Topics/Radiation/UnderstandingRadiation/UnderstandingRadiationTopics/DoseComparisonsForIonisingRadiation/
About iodinated contrast agents (dye) - http://radiographics.rsna.org/content/24/suppl_1/S3.full
Risks - http://www.hpa.org.uk/Topics/Radiation/UnderstandingRadiation/UnderstandingRadiationTopics/RisksFromLowLevelsOfIonisingRadiation/
Question I should have asked:
1. What do I need to do to prepare for my CT scan - I was told its like an X-ray. Some people are required to fast before the scan. Some people will need to take a dye (contrast medium - iodine based contrast material for ct scan of breast. Note some people can be allergic to this) either orally or IV. I didnt know this till now.
2. would I need to stay away from children for a period of time after scan?
3. What can I eat to help eliminate contrast medium n ionising radiation from my body? Read that kidney responsible for removing fluid from body including iodine - http://www.naplesxray.com/iodine-contrast-media-preparation-guide.html (there's a bit about creatinine which is part of your blood results). So, I need to drink lots after... What else?

Found this about combating radiation poisoning - http://www.healingcancernaturally.com/chelating-ionizing-radiation.html

Gotta go have some shut eye xx
Nipinuk
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

It's been manic here. Hubby's birthday coming up, lholiday washing still loads, boys homework, food shop, stressing about birds nest (mum spent loads) containing hormones, etc. I'm now relaxing in front of telly.
Janey - hope you're recovering well from last Friday'infusion.
Hannah - hope your tax goes well tomorrow and that you have minimum SE.
Nora, Jess, Daffodil - hope you have a lovely day tomorrow before your next infusion on Wednesady.
Angela - I'm so sorry to hear about your tooth, leg and all that jazz at the hospital n dentist! What a palaver! I've had root canal twice on the same tooth before having to extract it two years later just before starting chemo. It's worth doing what you can to save a tooth!
Carol - let me know when you start radiotherapy. Ask about the IMPORT clinical trial as you get monitored yearly for 10 years. I'm due to start radiotherapy on 16 June and would be very happy to accompany you n show you the ropes if you want. I'm only 20 mins from the hospital.

Marion - thank you so much for sharing your experience. Yep, surgery much easier to deal with than chemo even with my huge hematoma which lasted over a month 🙂

Karen n Christine - your hubbies are so lovely. Karen, so glad to hear he's so supportive and that you can lean on him. Christine, that was such a lovely surprise!

suzy - I hope things are on the up now for you. My taste buds have gone haywire this cycle so I have a little glimpse of what it must have been like for you. Hope your temperature stabilises. Aw, hope your appetite improves and tummy is well.


Well done Woolfie!! I think you're amazing!!

Take care all. Nightie night!

AngelaG
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

sorry, just seen the posts on this page!
woolfie - thanks for your response, that's fine, i'm sure i'll find someone to give it to...
anyone want the "healthy eating during chemo" cookery book? free and never used!
love A
AngelaG
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC75 CYCLE 4 DAY 18
Good evening everyone. It’s lovely and sunny just now. I spent most of yesterday in AnE trying to sort out my tooth problem. Had x-ray and bloods, which came back showing I was neutrapenic (sp) so nothing could happen. It took a very long time to get to that point. Got home and went to bed whilst the rest of the family continued with BBQ. Today had to be at dental hospital at 8am to get in the queue to be given a slot. Thankfully OH spoke to someone and got me fast tracked. Spent all morning there and then had to go to chemo ward for a decision. There were conflicting opinions which had me confused and insecure. However, tomorrow at clinic I will hopefully have an explanation. In the meantime I now have to have those dreaded jabs (administered by my D) 1st one was this evening. To make my joy complete, I think I have torn a muscle or trapped a nerve in my left cheek (lower!) so walking is very difficult and sloooooow. OH said that at least the leg pain has taken my mind off the tooth ache, and the tooth ache has taken my mind off the chemo!!! But emotionally it’s all a bit too much to bear.
I agree with marionblue, the surgery was nothing compared to chemo.
Christine – what a wonderful surprise, you lucky girl! Hope you had a brilliant time.
Pammyx – sorry your feet are so sore. What can be done for that? would E45 cream be any good? Hope you don’t suffer for too long xx
Coconutbutterfly- I have heard about hair growing back before chemo ends. Mine is just a little grey/blond/white stubble hanging on in there. It does seem to be a little longer. I’m not sure whether to have all that clipped off so that everything starts over again and the same time (well that’s the hope anyway)
Woolfie – let me know about the book x
I’m thinking of everyone else on this thread that I’ve got to ‘virtually’ know. Wondering how you all are. We have all slowed down in our postings, and that’s because we are all struggling more now than before I imagine.
However, as Suzy said...we endure
Goodnight all xxx
Love Angela x
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi ladies
We're having lovely sunny weather here in Scotland, OH and I had another campervan adventure at the weekend. We had a lovely meal out on Friday, then a BBQ on Sat. I had a good cry on Sat night, as I'm enjoying life and want to be BC free. Once I got it all out onto OH's shoulder, we went to a hotel and there was a live band playing toe-tapping tunes. Yesterday, we drove home the scenic route, it was stunning, on a par with Lake Como. I met a friend for coffee this morning then met a group of friends for lunch, cramming everyone into my good week. I have a massage booked for tomorrow, which should be nice and relaxing. Yes in 4 few weeks we'll be jumping off the chemo train, can't wait.
Angela sorry to hear about your tooth and swelling. I hope you get it sorted this week and it settles down.
Woolfie well done thanks for mentioning us on your T-shirt
Daffodil I won't be needing a lymph node clearance unless things have changed since my biopsy in Feb. Good luck for tomorrow xx
Mungos Mum how fabulous for you, what a sweetie your OHis surprising you, what a treat
Good luck to everyone having treatment this week, I'm scheduled for #5 on Friday
Karen xxx
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Woolfie- sorry have just seen your post, well done you!:D xxx
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Fec-t cycle 4 tax day 20
Hi Ladies, just realised 3 weeks tomorrow will be last tax, there's going to be alot of celebrating!
Angela - Sorry to hear about your tooth, I hope you manage to get it sorted today x.
Mungosmum - What a lovely surprise for you & so nice to get dressed up.
Cocoabutterfly - I had exactly the same se's as you, thought I had got away with it, then a few days later it hits you. Hope all goes well today & the se's are easier on you. I also have ballooned, I thought I might lose a bit with tax as not hungry all the time but none of my clothes fit. A friend who went through this said it's the drugs, but probably a combination of that & treats!
I finished planting out the veg this weekend whilst feeling back to normal, so nice to have energy to do things. I'm meeting a friend in town for lunch today then getting my bloods done, so will pop back later xxx
Woolfie
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Well we did it though I was feeling a bit stiff yesterday but the sun encouraged me to go out and do a bit of gardening.Today we are back to the hospital run and tomorrow I have 4th treatment so OH can stay with me this time for a change.
Choccy- do you watch Scott and Bailey? You remind me of the fair one a little bit in your photo tho you have a nicer face. Glad your treatment won't be delayed. My recon still soesn't feel right I see plastics on the 14th so will have all my questions ready. I might need evening up at some point but do I want further unecessary surgery?
Scottydog thanks for the link will listen later as I feel confused about dietary advice. Have used this treatment as a bit of an excuse to indulge myself in what i fancy eating as a consequence have put on a bit of weight which I can ill afford to do. My abdomen felt so flat and good after the surgery and i am jeopardising that now.
Angela- thanks for the offer of the book for OH. I will respectfully decline as I know he has his own ideas about things and I do not want to have any battles with him about food it is not worth it. He will have to take the 'ensure' drinks at some point I am sure through his tube. So, so sorry to hear about your tooth problems how awful on top of everything else I do so hope you can get it sorted out.
Mungosmum-what a lovely surprise- you obvioulsy like dancing I was only telling my daughters about tango al fresco or ballroom al fresco yesterday events they have in Regent's Park in the summer.
Welcome back Nipinuk-you have been missed
Jlr good luck with number 5-sorry to learn about your friend. We are all holdng your hand it won't be you.
Suzy sorry to hear you have been in hospital again. Hope you are feeling better.
Good luck to all having treatment this week
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC-T cycle 4 day 20! (5th round of tax tomorrow + 1st herceptin!)
Evening everyone...
A late one from me , probably the steroid effect! Hope everyone is well. Thanks Mungos Mum for the good luck sent my way 🙂 I can't remember the last time I post.. maybe before my first tax.. Anyway felt great for a couple of days then it seemed to hit me quite hard 😞 lots of duvet days, fatigue, aches and pains and general flu like symptoms. Was kinda hoping that Id been unlucky and caught a cold at the same time but my oncologist seems to think that it would of been the effects of tax so I'm gearing myself up for a few duvet days in the coming week! Also going to try and eat healthy and drink lots of water :S Ive put on a fair few pounds since starting chemo - I'd like to say it was the medications but I've been enjoying lots of cakes, sweets and meals out haha. Oh well you have to enjoy treats now and again ey?
Sorry I've not read through all posts, I had a lot to catch up on. Angela, I hope ur pain resolves quickly. PAmmy, glad to hear the SEs have eased. How long did it take? Mungos Mum, that sounds fab, what a lucky lady. Its nice to get dressed up and get out and about 🙂 Jlr, hope you are ok, Im glad you are able to reminise (sp) on the good times you spent with your friend and know that you were there during the hard times for her.
On another note i think in the last week, my eyebrows have thinned a lot more and I've lost a fair few eyelashes too. Im hoping they grow back quickly. Ive youtubed how long my hair will take to grow into a bob too and Im thinking about a year 😞 A few threads Ive read say that some peoples hair starts growing again before the end of treatment. Is anyone experiencing that yet? Maybe its too early or it depends what form of chemo we're on.
Hope everyone who is receiving treatment this week has minimal side effects..
Toodle pip ladies x x
Pammyx
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Angela take care I hope your tooth is now sohave overcome overcome the side effects for my first tax although still have sore feet. Best wishes for those having treatment this week.
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi All,
Hope everyone is away for good reasons, and haven't been incarcerated.
Suzy - I hope you are feeling better and your temp has settled down, down being the operative word!
Nipinuk - hope you had a great week, we missed your observations on this post!
Angela - I hope you got sorted today, and you have an appointment for tomorrow. Toothache on top of everything else! hope it is resolved quickly. xx
Shelley - how are you faring on your first FEC? I hope it's not as bad as you feared.
I'm a very lucky girl. OH surprised me by organising a trip out to see Pasha and Katya from Strictly dancing for the evening. we had a lovely meal out too, all a complete surprise. I got dressed up for the event, first time in months!
There are a number of us being treated this week, best of luck to Cocobutterfly tomorrow, and anyone else being infused!
Sleep well all,
Christine xx
Marionblue
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi Everyone
Just popped in from June Jewels

For those waiting fur surgery, I had left breast MX with centinel node biopsy 7 weeks ago. Grade 11 2.5 cm tumour. Surrounding tissue area and centinel node clear. It seemed such a huge thing at the time. I couldn't believe it when I was told I would need 6 cycles TC and 18 cycles Herceptin just to make sure nothing had escaped. I started chemo 24th May and it just took over my every thought. My MX was almost forgotten and I have to remind myself to do my excescises and not overreach for things as its still healing.
I don't know which way round is best as at least I went into my op fighting fit and not flattened by chemo I have had no problems since except stiffness under my arm. But for me the op has actually seemed the least stressful of the 2, probably because once its done you just need to heal and not go through it again another 5 times. Sorry if that sounds a bit nuts but its how it has been for me.

Marion
XXX
AngelaG
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

thanks christine, spoke to an onco, and she advised i go to AnE for AB's as now today my jaw is swollen! so i'm waiting for D to get here and take me. will keep you posted when i get home as i dont have facility to do this on those phone apps. not going to local one after last time, but up to kings...30 mins away on a good day by car...
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Oooh Angela! I am so sorry. The only suggestion I can make is to speak to a pharmacist about the strongest painkiller you can get over the counter. I doubt paracetamol would be enough, my OH swears by neurophen extra strength, and you may be able to get some co codomol over the counter. (there are other brands available etc etc)
I hope you get some relief soon.
C xx
AngelaG
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

can't sleep, sigh. terrible toothache AGAIN. went to dentist as emergency on friday pm, and he said tooth (the same one that cost £600 to do root canal) needed to come out as was loose and in danger of splitting in half. could have done it then, but i wanted to check with onco first. called them and was told they'd rather i went to Kings College Hosp dental school (same hosp as where my chemo is)as emergency on sat morning at 9am. went...it wasn't open!!! so, am in pain which no ammount of pain killers will deal with. ooooooh! feel quite anxious cos of course it's impossible to monitor temperature when on painkillers.
rant over. nipinuk - missed you, and am glad you are back. hope you had a good time away.
love to all, hope no one is suffering.
love A xx
Nipinuk
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

I got back this morning. I've just managed to read a few posts this page and needed to say ..
Janey, all the best tomorrow. So sad to read to read about Shaon n cannot imagine what it must be like for u.
Suzy, so sorry to hear you're back in hospital! Such a nuisance isnt it? Hope your strength m appetite come back to norm.
nite all. I've missed you all n will update tomorrow xx
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Suzy, I am sorry you are struggling. I had tummy problems as a result of the AB reaction and was advised to treat myself as if I'd had a stomach bug. They suggested easy to digest stuff such as scrambled eggs (well cooked!!) toast, veg soups and no protein for a few days. I found a soup based on chicken or turkey stock to be really tempting and easy on the stomach.
I couldn't eat fruit as anything remotely sweet made me sick. Thankfully, this has now passed and I am back on the chocolate again! xx
suzy52
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Go Woolfie! Super impressed, the two flights of stairs are a challange for me at the mo!
Today I've managed an apple a banana and an avocado, Not sure whats on the list for later my inards are really up the creek! and my blasted temperature is all over the place mutter mutter mutter........
Hope everyone os doing ok cyber hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hats off to you woolfie! I'm not sure where you get the energy from, I'm tired just thinking about it. Good luck! Do you have a just giving page?
Honeymonster
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Thanks everyone for your good wishes, am sat here now plugged in, feeling bit squeamish!
Good luck today Woolfie!
Woolfie
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Just to let you know I am walking for you all today at Race for Life Regent's Park. will post more later with pics hopefully.
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi,
Scottydog - It's ancillary node clearance, which I will be needing as spread to lymph nodes.
Suzy - Thanks for the reassurance about surgery, I just have the odd panic about the worst is yet to come, again it's the unknown! I hope you have a better day today & manage some good days before no 5.
Honeymonster - I hope today goes ok & you get all that energy back.
Jlr - I hope you are not suffering too?
Its another beautiful day, off sandal shopping as a pre chemo treat then going to relax in the garden. Hope you all have a lovely day xxx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi Daffodil
What does anc stand for? Sorry I'm up to speed with all the abbreviations xx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

EC - Paclitaxel (Taxol): Taxol Cycle 1/12 - Day 1
Hi Honeymonster - join the club.... I have had 2 blood transfusions since starting EC on 1st March..... have just changed to Paclitaxel/Taxol - 12 weekly sessions - first was today (I seem to be one of the very few on the forum on Taxol ... ) and am hoping it won't cause the anaemia again - only time will tell. Good luck tomorrow and hope it makes you feel better. Take care Sophie x
suzy52
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Its another duvet day for me FEC-T cycle 4 TAX day 8

JLR I hope number 5 will be easy on you. I echo Christines sentiments - this is a tough journey made more poignant by the memory of friends who did'nt win the battle. I feel we Marchies are some tough cookies, afterall we've taken everything they've thrown at us so far and we still ENDURE!

Daffodil I too hope your lump has disappeared, but you know I think you will feel more in control after your surgery. Chemo takes hold of your life and body and throws it round like a rag doll - there's no telling how an individual will cope with all the SE's and emotional upheaval. I have found chemo far harder to endure than the big surgery and recovery I went through. The pain control post op was fantastic and getting better was like embarking on a long mountain walk, I knew I could make it, I just had to push on.

Nora in the absence of Nipinuk (1st lady of dares) we need to see you demented pirate look please! 🙂

Karen thanks for the radio link, I'll have listen after I post. The french believe a normal diet including pasturised dairy is the way to go, so I go with the flow - except I never eat salads or un peeled fruit when I'm out or rare meat. Quite frankley today toast has been an effort!

Carol I've only had the 1 FEC so I'm hoping the next 2 work out better than tax. From what I recall I felt better faster after FEC, but the first 2 nights were pretty bad. My nail beds are feeling pretty beaten up now although the evonail and ice gloves seem to have worked fairly well. Hope your next cycle goes ahead on time.
This post seems to have taken an age to write, I feel doremouse syndrome coming on.
Love to all, sorry if I missed you out by name cya xxxxxxx























from what
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Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Scottydog - Thanks will have a listen later, I'm not avoiding milk at the moment but will ration it after chemo, I love milk so is going to be difficult for me. Are you having anc too when you have surgery?
Suzy - I had a meltdown about food too, not in public though (yet). It's just that everythings too much effort, especially decisions & nothing tastes nice anyway. I don't have a surgery date yet but having an mri after next chemo, seeing bc to discuss surgery & then surgery will be 3-4 weeks after last chemo. Still hoping lump has magically disappeared, I'm dreading surgery & recovery time. I'm learning to be patient though.
Choccy - Good to hear you are ok now & hope your next chemo's not delayed. I heard about that cushion on bbc berks, but its a pattern, really don't feel like sewing at the moment! I'm having my treatment at the Dunedin. Rads will be at the royal berks & I was told for 3 weeks, which must be every day. I'm surprised You have to travel all the way to Southampton, such a pain.
Looks like we are in for another beautiful weekend & hope everyone feels well enough to enjoy it xxx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Interesting radio programme on the role of diet in treating cancer
http://www.bbc.co.uk/mobile/iplayer/episode/b01shstp/Food_Programme_Food_Cancer_and_WWellBeing
Daffodil66
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi,
Jlr - I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling this evening, it is natural to have morbid moments even more so at difficult times. I hope you feel better once tomorrow's out of the way & enjoy your glass of wine whilst it still tastes nice ;).
Take care everyone xxx
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Re: Spring into chemo in March

Jlr so sorry to read about your friend Sharon and lovely that you are enjoying a glass of vino in her honour. Sending a big virtual hug will be thinking of you tomorrow
Suzy sorry to hear you had another tripinto hospital. You are right to go in, never ignore the warning signs. I know what your going through when it comes to eating out, there are so many things we should avoid makes it tricky. Even meeting friends for a coffee is tricky as we are supposed to avoid milk. Thank goodness for flavoured teas, I've been trying lots of new flavours. I like Twinnings Blackcurrant & Rhubarb.
Choccy thanks for your kind words. Funny my Dad is completely bald. I've got his green eyes and people always said I look like him, I'm even more like him now with my baldy little head!
Night all xx
Mungos_mum
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Janey, my thoughts are with you.
I think it is the stage in our treatment has a lot to do with our state of mind at the moment, dreading the next cycle but also wondering what is next......
Holding virtual hands and raising a glass to all those who go before us.
Best of luck tomorrow, may your SEs be small.
C xx
Choccy61
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

FEC-T, Cycle 4, Day 14 (Tax)

Evening Ladies,
Hope you're all well this evening and that any side effects you may be suffering are manageable.

Honeymonster - I hope your transfusion on Saturday sorts out your energy levels. Will you have it done as an outpatient or do you need to stay in? I hope you get to enjoy some of the better weather we're promised!
Karen - pleased you also have a date for surgery. For those of you who've had to do this the other way round, it must have been quite hard knowing that you've got the thought of surgery hanging over you so I can understand that you must be looking forward to it. I enjoyed reading about your time with your parents, it sounds like you had a great time and they sound so supportive - I think it must be hard to see your child (whatever age) going through something like this. I know my parents have found it quite difficult - they haven't seen my baldy head!
Jude - Hope you start to feel less fatigued soon. Did you get your Ondonestron sorted for next week? You're right about the weather - we've still got the heating on and have come close to lighting a fire a couple of evenings! As Honeymonster says, the forecast looks better so let's hope that gives us all a boost!
Daffodil - I didn't have MX but I had a seroma which kept filling up under my arm and the hospital gave me a heart shaped cushion which really helped - I saw something on South Today earlier in the week about them funnily enough. Are you having your surgery at Royal Berks? I'm sure they'd have them - if not, you can borrow mine. My eyelashes started to thin and I bought some Mavala (£11 from Boots). I read about it on the forum somewhere - meant to improve the condition and strength of eyelashes. I can't say if it's working yet as to soon but I'll let you know in a few days. Of course we won't forget about you! I've got further surgery next Feb/March to even me up a bit and I'm sure there are others needing similar surgery/reconstruction - we've come a long way, but we'll be enduring this journey for a little while longer yet!
Angela - that was very restrained of you, eating carbs at one BBQ and protein at the other! I would have eaten both at both BBQs ;). We went to a farm shop on our way back from Reading yesterday and bought some lovely home made shortbread with stem ginger - very morish! 😄
Christine - how's half term going? Hope you've been able to make the most of your increased energy levels. I also get the odd shooting pain through various joints.
Suzy - I was wondering if you'd had another spell in hospital! Glad it was only 24 hours - I bet you will be glad to go back to FEC! I'm looking forward to getting my taste buds back too! I wonder how long it will take?
Jlr - I've just read your post 😞 I think we all know someone or know of someone who has succumbed to this awful disease and there can be few of us who don't have the occasional wobble. I'm a naturally positive, glass half full kind of person but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had a few scared moments, especially at the beginning of this journey none of us ever wanted to make. As you said, treatments have progressed so much over recent years and still are - I just keep telling myself it's not going to get me and every step of the treatment is one step closer to full recovery. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoyed your glass of wine and that you remembered a few of the happy times you had with your friend. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow and that your SEs are more bearable this round - this time tomorrow, you'll just have one more to go!
Pam - how are your SEs now? Hope the aches and pains have stopped by now.
Nora - I love the way your cat's stretched out! We had a cat who used to sleep like that but sadly he was run over a couple of years ago when he was only 2. He was a real character, as is the one we've still got! Do you have a wig liner for your wig? I find it much more comfortable.
Woolfie - how did your hospital visit go with your new vehicle? I hope it makes life easier for you. Our chemo ward was open over the bank holiday - I suppose chemo / rads have to continue over the bank hols. Hope you enjoyed having your granddaughter last night!

Managed to keep myself out of hospital apart from usual line care yesterday - and it turns out my line was blocked so it wasn't the nurse's technique after all! One of the chemo nurses managed to get it going yesterday, with just saline. When I was in hospital I was told that my next treatment may need to be delayed so I asked about it yesterday and it was confirmed today that if my bloods are normal, there's no reason for it to be delayed 🙂 They'll also start herceptin next Friday too - so my turn to spend 6 hours at the hospital waiting to see if I have any reaction. Have appt with onco next Thursday so will find out about my rads as I still don't know how many sessions I'm having. Also want to ask if it's realistic to expect to work through, or whether I need to give in and take some time off, especially as I've got to drive to and from Southampton every day. And I want to find out if there's anything I can do to prevent neutropenic sepsis next time around - probably not as I did the injections as I should have, will just have to hope! I think I need to make myself a list before my appointment!!

I hope anyone who's recently had or who's having treatment tomorrow has an easy time of it with SEs and that everyone has a good weekend and is able to enjoy some time in the sunshine.
Best wishes to everyone.

Carol xx
Jlr
Member

Re: Spring into chemo in March

Hi ladies,

Well it's number 5 for me tomorrow and tonight I am having a little glass of wine, for two reasons really, one is that I know after last time I am in for a rough couple of weeks but mainly I am raising a birthday toast to my best friend Sharon who would have been 44 today but sadly passed away due to breast cancer 11 years ago, she was only 32 (just short of her 33rd birthday) sometimes when I sit and think about it I get really scared, having walked this walk with her all those years ago. I know that everyone is different and treatments have advanced so much but having held her hand until the end I sometimes wonder will that be me too! Sorry for the slightly morbid post but i always get sad this time of year and now it just feels more emotional having joined my own roller coaster !

Take care xx xx