Stage 4 peeps - what would you most like to hear from your Doc?

[vercors]

Sorry Lemongrove but Bruce Springsteen is already booked. You can have Paul McCartney instead. My onc told me to stop being a hypocondriac that I never had cancer and never will because there is no such a thing as cancer.
Have you seen my WCT + chocolate?

[Uphill_Skier]

What I would most like to hear would be similar to all the above, but failing that I'd be quite content at the moment with: "Our new drugs do still cause some hair loss, but only from your legs, underarms and a little thinning of your eyebrows"

[golightly]

Myfantasy.....well ms golightly......we got the MRI mixed up, you actually have arthritis and can have a total hip replacement without complications. You will live until you are at least seventy and you will hold your grandchildren. You will walk unaided and you will be able to go jogging again. You will not live in fear or suffer from pain......as a compensation for our mistake, here is a million pounds, you can spend it on Finding the cure for breast cancer......i really wish!

[Lemongrove]

Historygirl, the SE's can be awful when people self-adminster WCT, because they often add chocolate into the therapy as well, and that can increase side effects (headaches, bloat, foggy brain, and sickness). Worse still, as WCT + chocolate, sometimes leads to weight gain, the dosage obviously has to be increased . Fortunately after a while the patient ceases to notice

[Historygirl]

Lemongrove
i've been away for a week where I decided to self-administer WCT* therapy. I must have got the dosage wrong as the side effects were much worse than I expected (I blame all the recent clean living for turning me into a lightweight).

* Wine, crisps and telly

[Lemongrove]

Tawny that is very funny. What a shame your friend's cousin didn't recognise Bruce, or know about me, because he could have asked Bruce to pop over and see me. Not fussed about Bono though, although my friend Susan would quite like a visit.
Historygirl, glad that your treatment is keeping things stable. Have you heard of a new treatment called WCT? Apparently like FEC it combines three elements, but the SE's are mild (occasional headaches, slight indigestion, and a foggy brain). Seems it combines wine, crisps, and telly - daytime only I'm afraid.

[Historygirl]

Hi Cackles

Thanks for remembering me, I suspect it was due to my all round wobbliness and the faux pas with the artex gym top - oh the shame , but nevertheless Cackles you've warmed my cockles!

I've had 4xFEC and 6xTax but no shrinkage, no progression either I should add. Carrying on with herceptin and starting tamoxifen next month. Then being scanned again in November to see what's happening and where I go from here. On a happier note I'm off to deepest, darkest Devon for a week. The first time away since diagnosis in January. Looking forward to it but definitely packing my wellies. How are you doing?

Lemongrove - Loved the latest 'thing you want to hear' and Tawny's story. I'm trying to come up with a reason why the Onc might tell me to fill my house with kittens and choc ices. It's early, I haven't had my coffee yet so chemo-brain definitely not in gear but hoping inspiration will strike.
Della x

[Cackles]

All you brave stage gour need a 'I have reviewed your histology and your problem was insitu not invasive. The lymph nodes are just reactive." So you can put all this behind you . Tawny I so hope you can get to be pain free. How are things going History Girl ? I so remember you at diagnosis.
Cromer, lemon grove, Gail , Scottish Lass, Hang on in there ----with you wonderful wit and compassion for others you all help so many in dispair.
Big hugs

[Tawny]

Lemongrove, I actually have a true story that might make you chuckle. My friend's cousin went to a restaurant in Dublin. The maitre d' came over and said "I'm terribly sorry but I have to ask you to move tables as Mr Bono has come in and this is his favourite seat." My friend's cousin and guest swapped tables and a short while later a waiter brought over a rather expensive bottle of wine, explaining that it was a thank you from Bono. The cousin is quite wealthy so he got up and walked over to Bono's table and explained that the offer of wine was kind but unnecessary. He did, however, ask if it was possible to have his photo taken with him. Bono agreed, the cousin passed his phone to Bono's guest and asked him if he'd take the photo. Biono's guest agreed and took a photo, the cousin looked at it and then asked him if he could take another as it wasn't very good. The guest complied and the cousin went back to his table and finished his dinner. He asked for the bill and the waiter said "Oh no, sir, Mr Bono has covered it." The cousin strode over to Bono's table and said, "Really, this is silly. I didn't mind swapping tables, there's no need to pay our bill." Bono replied "Anyone who has the nerve to ask Bruce Springsteen to take their photo and then makes him do it again deserves a free dinner!" With that he exited laughing with his pal, Bruce!
Anyway, back to the original question...a Bobby in the shower Dallas situation sounds good. A bad dream or a terrible cock up. Either way I emerge with mahoosive financial compensation, looking ten years younger and back to my pre-cancer weight. Honestly, at the moment, I would give a hell of a lot just to be pain and cancer free for even one day.
Alison x

[Lemongrove]

Thought of another one: A new professor has just reviewed your case and all your scans, and we now realise that tragically, you were misdiagnosed. The hotspots we believed were cancer were in fact just blips, and you do not have cancer at all. Of course this terrible mistake will entitle you to a fortune in compensation, and Bruce Springsteen/ the E Street Band and Paul McCartney have heard of this terrible event, and will be coming round to your house to perform just for you. Then Bruce is going to take you out to the best restaurant in London/Paris/New York for a romantic dinner for two (my hubby can entertain Bruce's wife with a cup of tea, while I'm away, as neither of them will be required).

[cromercrab]

The drugs have worked. You are NED and you can get on with the next 30 years of your life. Go and have fun
.

[Cackles]

You have got it in one girls.........however do "Really" ask each time if there is a trial drug that may be of benefit to you. Eg the 75mg aspirin etc
I love all your wit and wisdom..... historyLady, lemongrass, scottishblass, gail5,glowwormdancer,Micky and lizcat.

[Historygirl]

"Also, please drink lots of red wine and eat heaps of cheese and onion crisps while watching rubbish tv, that'll speed the certain cure up no end"

[gail5]

For those who remember the resurrection of Bobby in Dallas, I'd go with 'Of course you don't have cancer, the whole last year of your life was a bad dream'.

Alternatively, 'we can't cure your cancer now, but we know what caused it and we can send you back in a time machine so your younger self changes 'x' and you won't get it at all' or at least 'we can send you back in a time machine so you can see your doctor 'x' months before you did and get it cut out while it's just a small tumour'

[scottishlass]

Not on your nelly!

[Lemongrove]

Val, could they not attach ski's to your wheelchair and tow you along in that? Have been watching the para-olympics and am blown away by what can be achieved, so it can be done.

[scottishlass]

No Lemongrove...he won't....not until I get rid of my crutches!

[Lemongrove]

Val does your Doc also offer you the use of his speed boat so that you can go water skiing ?
Have just thought of another one. All the doctors and nurses in the clinic comment on how beautiful I look. They say, normally when patients have chemo, endocrine therapy, and rads etc, their hair and skin gets very dry, course and wrinkled, but you look absolutely youthful and radiant.

[scottishlass]

"I have had to cancel my holiday plans. Would you like to have the use of my holiday home which is situated in a quiet location beside the beach? It is a large villa and you can take your friends too if you like. Oh and my pilot can fly you all out there in my private jet!".......................yes in my dreams!

[glowormdancer]

We can cure you, give you the body of your dreams and great hair.
Oh and coffee is on the house.


Glo LOL

[nicky08]

"Good Morning Mrs Nicky08. You know when we told you that you had secondary BC on April 1st 2008, well it was an April Fool's joke after all"
Failing that I can cope with stable, no progression, or other similar words 🙂
A tummy tuck and arm lift would also be useful, providing they've discovered how to do it without painful surgery 😉
Nicky

[lizcat]

'We've found a drug, available to everyone free of charge, that will cure you. It has absolutely no side effects and actually gets rid of anything like weight gain that was a side effect of the old drugs. Do you want to have it?'

Or failing that, 'We've got a drug that will keep everything as it is at the mo with no further progression and the pain from your current mets will disappear.'

[Lemongrove]

Read a post by Historygirl, about what she would most like to hear from her medical team and it really made me laugh. It went along the lines of " oh my goodness I've never seen shrinkage like it! You're on the way to a miracle cure. And what's more this particular chemo will make you beautiful and rich".
Anyway, it occurred to me that people have fantasies which are really funny, and could be a rich source for a thread. So here goes: My fantasy is that my Prof say's, Imperial College have just discovered the cure for secondary BC, and we would like you to be amongst the first to benefit from it. Of course once you are cured, we will want to reconstruct your breast, and the best way to do this will be to use tissue from a tummy tuck and arm lift.