Standing outside the dark, dark woods.

[Kittyqueen]

Had a wander through the woods for the first time in ages.  Paths are a little overgrown now although I swear I could hear Pierce humming quietly, thankfully I couldn't see him for the trees.  So sad to hear about SuperTrouper will light a candle in the Chapel xxx   The Woods were amazing for me when I was diagnosed in 2012 .  Thinking of everyone who have trod the paths, snagged a sleep fairy and shot a few gremlins. Still have my 2-fingered flag and it's still waving in the breeze.

Much love to all

KQ

[sivam]

Darling Supertrouper, so sorry I will miss your creative thinking in this imaginary wood, we all will miss you so much I have lit a candle for you in the Chapel. Eternal Rest grant unto her O Lord and let Perpetual Light shine on her, May she Rest in Peace xx

[Salzie]

Thank you, found a spot under a gnarly old tree,

[MG]

Hi Salzie, Sorry you find yourself in need of the woods, there are plenty of quiet glades here to sit in for reflection. Sending hugs x

[Salzie]

Hi, I'm new here so I hope you don't mind if I have a quiet wander about. Today I'm talking to friends who have reached the end of their journey and feel it's time to go. So I needed somewhere to just sit and think and mentally let them go.

[sivam]

Hi Supertrouper, mentioned this thread on facebook and how crazy it is all is and up you popped as a visitor, so just had to enter the woods again too and to see if I can find that hidden chapel so that I can light a candle once more for all the wonderful people who have trod these paths in this enchanted wood. Love and Light xx

[janipi]

ST The camp fire is burning brightly awaiting your return from your hols. I have bottled some choice rude words that you can release whenever you need a good rant. I found BringitOn asleep in the bushes. I woke her up sharpish and washed her off with the hose. She is now fresh as a daisy and ready for action. See you in the JM soon for cocktail night. X

[JCJ]

So sorry to hear you are back in need of The Dark Dark Woods, Supertrouper. I hope you enjoy your holiday and it isn't too encumbered with *children* or excessive heat.

We will raise an eclair to you in The Madlands next week! x

[MG]

We always said that Helly. Despite everything we had some good laughs in the woods. A place to find warmth and companionship (along with gin, cake and our own pub ) x

[helly18]

Dear all,have been having a wander through the woods and love the stength, humour and determination shown by those who have trod its many paths. This really should be a book its fabulous. Sending sleep fairies,cocktails and pink gin to those in need xxx

[MG]

Hope everything goes well and not too much soreness. Enjoy the drive in the sun, that sounds fab x

[Mezzomamma]

That makes it sound almost worth having a blood test! I've crossed everything I can still cross for minimum discomfort tomorrow.

[supertrouper]

I shall put a cushion in my car.  I've been told to make sure the injections are at body temperature - I expect that the thought of having them done will be worse that the actual deed (I do hope so!!)  Lots of soft soft grass gathered and spread around the floor of my tent.  Stocked up on pink gin and cucumber - managed to trap a sleep fairy last night so feeling as ready as I can be for tomorrow.  Today is just blood test and ecg.  Lovely sunny day - perfect excuse for putting the top down on the car, headscarf and big sunglasses - and off we go......

[Mezzomamma]

Part of the problem can be the amount of fluid deposited in the injection site. Based on my experience of gamma globulin injections many years ago, a gentle walk afterwards helps to disperse the fluid and eases some of the pain. Will you be able to take some kind of cushion? 

[supertrouper]

We fly from Manchester on next Friday (eeek!!)  Having my first injections in my buttocks on Tuesday, hope I am not too sore to sit down!

[Mezzomamma]

At least he shouldn't find that a rat has set up home this time. I'm fairly tolerant of spiders except in the bath. That said, cleaning the webs of loads of baby spiders off the clothesline, car mirrors, etc, isn't much fun.

So when do you go?

[supertrouper]

Hope your hubby is tollerant of spiders - last time I went in our shed I disturbed Boris who made enough noise to make me think it was a small mouse.  I leave him undisturbed now.

[Mezzomamma]

Oh bother! I'm glad you're getting some holiday, but you'd think Fate could occasionally let you get your head above water for a few minutes. OH is clearing the shed for the first time in years, so we'll see what he can find that hasn't completely rotted away. 

I hope the holiday isn't overly hot and you find a tranquil spot somewhere.

[supertrouper]

Tried everything I can to trap a sleep fairy but to no avail - one seems to sneak into my tent about half an hour before I HAVE TO GET UP - pah!!

Anyway - my long planned escape from the real world to a small Greek Island for two weeks has been scuppered by the guards at colditz who are insisting that leaving the UK whilst on a trial drug is a big no no.  So at considerable expense the holiday has been shortened to 7 days and brought forward a month.  More expensive because it is now peak season - and will be flipping hot and heaving with kids probably.  But a holiday is needed before I start being jabbed in both buttocks with the foot long syringe.  Must remember to go looking for the really really soft grasses to line my sleeping bag with.  Anyone got an inflatable rubber ring I could borrow for the nights in the JM bar?

[Mezzomamma]

Yes, message at any time. Though internet access in the woods of Strathspey iso ly intermittent so might be slower getting back than I would like.

Cheryl

[MG]

Ditto Mezzomamma Super Trouper. 

Is there anything we can do other than joining you in some well chosen rude words? Of course always here to listen and support but if there is anything beyond that just PM any time. Sending hugs. 

Hope the trial does it stuff on the squatters

MG x

[Mezzomamma]

Will say all the bad words I can think of and invent a few more. Is there a real world way I can help?
Cheryl

[supertrouper]

Creeping back into camp by the light of fireflies in my jam jar - spent most of the day in the concentration camp (hospital) having blood drained from one arm whilst the other was squeezed tight but an inflating band of torture.  Managed to escape after five hours with a paper bag full of injectable drugs and calcichew tablets.  Cannot find any sleep fairies anywhere so going to leave the fireflies outside in the jar and hope they attract something that isn't a "what if" gremlin.  Today's bad news included realising that escaping to my favourite holiday island next month is off the agenda - oh no - can't leave the UK whilst on a trial drug!!  I would try swearing but noticed that it gets beeped out - which is clever.  Wonder what it does with the word scunthorpe?  Will find out when I post this.

p.s.  If you see any sleep faries please tell them I need them!!

[MG]

Definitely need to hoist that two fingered salute at the squatters SuperTrouper. Hope signs and monitoring stay just that 

I'm collecting firewood to get the fires going in here and doing a spot of tidying up. We'll need a few flamethrowers on the go to fight the nasties. 

That Brosnen chap is fine to serve drinks and mop fevered brows but for goodness sake don't start him singing again! It took us ages to get him to shut up last time... MG x 

[Mezzomamma]

Sorry about the squatters, but hope they stay just signs. We're off to the not-so-dark, but largely signal-free woods of Inverness-shire next week, so should be able to contribute scotch when we get back. (And maybe homemade cherry cordial in a couple of months.)

[whistle between fingers] Pierce! Noel! Get the broom and mop and stop slacking!

❤️ 

[supertrouper]

CT scan results were a bit **bleep**e - signs of the little squatters in my stomach and bowel - but just "signs" - and these will be areas to monitor!

Found my rather tatty two fingered flag to hoist to the top of the flag pole outside the JM bar - if you manage to find Pierce or Noel then tell them to get busy cleaning up the bar and get ready for a party.

I managed to hack my way through some of the old pathways and climbed up one of the old Yew trees to see what state the nests were in.  No chemotherapy planned for me this time so hopefully won't need the nests - but giving the old tent a good clean out and stocking up with chocolate bars, gin and sticky bottomed lemon cake.

[MG]

Hugs from me too Supertrouper, 

I'll dust around some of the tents and see if I can get the fire going. Drinks of the alcoholic and non alcoholic variety available for all who care to join us. Sorry to see you back in here ST, hoping for positive news on the CT scan, MG x

[Mezzomamma]

Many hugs, Supertrouper. Shall we call Pierce out of retirement to act as barman? On the clear understanding that he doesn't sing, of course. And I'm sure I've got one of the flamethrowers here somewhere--I've been meaning to get it out to clear the back of the garden, which keeps trying to turn into the Woods.

Love from Mezzomamma

[supertrouper]

Going to pitch my tent by the lagoon for a few days whilst I wait for the results from the latest CT scan.  I know the buggers have got into my bones but now desperately hoping that they haven't managed to infiltrate any where else.  Been to the supply tent behind the Jingling Merkin bar and managed to find a flame thrower that works and sythe so I am going back to hack a path from the lagoon to the bar so that I can check supplies there.  If needs be I can bring gin but will need to find some clean jam jars.

[janipi]

Just thought I would wander in to the woods for a nostalgic walk around. Very quiet and peaceful today.

A far cry from some of the raucus behaviour in days gone by after a merry night in the JM. I will remember with fondness all of the Woodies who joined forces to get through terrible times. Raise your glasses to our dear friends who can no longer wander in for a visit. Your humour, laughter and determination will live on in these woods forever. To all Woodland graduates, I salute you! Wishing the best of health to all x  

[Peachez]

... hope it didn't start a fire what with all the dust and cobwebs... a Chapel? The place must've come on a bit since I was there. Thanks for keeping it tidy, and glad it's still useful. We've lost two of the 13 original Woodies since it started - but the rest of us are onwards and upwards. Some have finished all treatment now, a few of us still on the pills - gernerally buggering on, working, becoming Grannies... oh, and quite a lot of travelling, drinking and swearing too, not necessarily in that order! 

[supertrouper]

Wandered back into the woods to light a candle in the Chapel for for a dear friend from the "starting chemo in august 2011".  It is very quiet in here, lots of empty tents and it looks like Pierce Brosnon has been taking liberties in the JK bar.

I will take a quick patrol of the perimiter of the camp and tidy up where I can.  This place saved my sanity back in 2011.  Brightest blessings to all who read this.

[Jenny065]

Hello KQ,  Ooops think I chased one of those kitties out of my garden this morning.  Think your sleep fairy must have a twin sister, who is on my pillow, good job I don't have to get up for work these days, as she wakes me about 4.30 or 5 am.  then lets me sleep until.... 10 or 11 somedays.  she certainly does have a naughty streak in her.  Will have to be up early On Thurs off to a big campsite(real)  my daughter is there for the week - it is lovely,  toilets & showers are spotless.  a play area in every field and a warden.  so   no gremlins wandering about at night or any of buggerits friends, unless in the dog friendly field.

Will join you for that glass of champers- but prefer a nice Pimms. 

Take Care everyone.   Huggles Jenny.

[Kittyqueen]

Hello Woodies,

Seemed like a lovely day for a wander down the paths filled with spring flowers and see how everyone is doing.  Have to say the sleep fairies still desert me for an hour or so every night but then I manage to snag one and not want to get up when the alarm goes off lol, I think I have a 'make you late fairy' trust me to get one with a naughty streak.

I too will never forget this thread as it made the dark times bearable during treatment and helped keep my sense of humour in place.

So I raise a glass of chmapers in the JM to all Woodies and hope some of the newbies pick up this thread and enjoy the peace.

By the way.....just checked my tent...has anyone seen 6 naughty cats...think they've escaped again and Buggerit will eat them lolol 🙂

Huge hugs to all

Love KQ 

[Jenny065]

Hi Soupertrooper, so nice to know you are coming along well. Hope it isn't too many more months before you get your cherries.  Think I have been on cloud 9 all weekend. Just got this picture of that lady in calender girls with the 2 belgium buns.  My OH says they look good and that is all that matters. At times I never thought I would reach this day. but here I am.  Now I plan to return the favours and thanks,  going to chat to my BCN and another lady and see if I can help support our fundraising group  for very big state of arc unit at our hospital.

Take Care, Huggles Jenny.

[supertrouper]

I too have passed through the dark dark woods and into the land of NED.  Eternally grateful to SCACO for starting this thread - at the time, as I started treatment, it was quite truthfully the only thing that kept me going through some of the darkest sleepless nights.  On more than one ocassion I had my husband asking what I was laughing at whilst I sat at the computer.

Many hours I have spent patrolling the perimiter fence with dear faithfull Buggerit by my side and the larger of the flamethrowers.(kept in the store room at the back of the JM bar)  making sure that the gremlins stayed on the outside and the sleep fairies on the inside.  Leaving jam jars full of "neuts" outside my tent for those that needed them.  Flying the two fingered flag about our tents and climbing up up up into the Yew trees to the lovely feather lined nests.

I am still waiting for my "cherries" - reconstruction done last year but needs further work until it can be considered a replacement boob - work in progress.

Life is good - and like I kept saying to myself, and anyone else that listened "this too will pass" and it did.

But I stand quietly beside the bluebells in the glade and remember the ones that travelled the path but fell beside it.  Never forgotten, x

[Jenny065]

Hello Ladies, I don't look in so often now, but just wanted to say a very big thank you to everyone. Thanks for sending the sleep fairies , and kicking the gremlins, and especially for pulling me out of those dark deep rabbit holes that i kept falling into. Thanks for all the lovely glasses of prosecco,  and gorgeous cakes that you provided in the tent by that sunny bank ,  I have finally come to the sunshine on the far side of the woods. I had my tattoos put on on Weds, last night I was able to take the dressings off. What a moment. Feel so different. I always said that I was going to get my cherries put on, and that is certainly the icing on the cake. Ok so they are not quite as they used to be, one is not a perfect shape but 2and half years on. I am through the dark woods. I am here thanks to a fantastic team  and to BCC and all the lovely ladies on here.I'm ready to enjoy myself. Was going to say ready for whatever they throw at me next but already know what that is- my GP told me last month that I have degeneration of the spine- old age. but I could of hugged him as we including him  did think it was going to be a repeat. I'm not ready to accept old age. too many things to go and enjoy. especially my 4 lovely grandchildren.

So sorry if I have rabbitted on, but just wanted to thank you all for being there for me when I was feeling low,  and helping me along the path.hope I can return the favours   . I will remember the glade and the bluebells and our friends resting there

.Take care everyone, hope you are all doing well.

Huggles  Jenny.

[Mezzomamma]

Thanks to SCACO, we could look BC straight in the eye and still laugh at it. And then hang out with mates in the JM. And thanks to all the Woodies for path-clearing, someone to chat to in the middle of the night, and pulling each other out of the swamp when we fell in.

It's almost exactly 4 years since I officially left the Woods for the lights (and dry skin) of Arimidex Avenue. I haven't quite made it back to a pre-BC state (ignoring the scars and permanently wonky boobs), but at least this time I've got 4 years of clear mammos.

A toast of morning coffee to Absent Woodies.

[CanonJane]

So pleased to find others visiting the woods. They kept me sane four years ago. Can't tell you how important the amazing humour was, even if it was sometimes dark, it gave me something else to focus on. I watched "the Big C" on the box today (shown yesterday). It was insightful and so painful. Made me think of Staycalmandcarryon and so many others, so I thought I'd revisit the woods with Buggerit and pay tribute.. I sincerely hope those currently going through the mill find the same support and encouragement and fun we did. Night all xx. Buggerit, stop barking at the hedgehog! You'll wake everyone up!

[Jenny065]

Hello Ladies,  and many thanks Cackles for your lovely words.this thread kept me going . I kept falling into the dark rabbit holes along the way,and creating big muddy puddles when I had weepy days  but someone also seemed to be around to pull me out and drag me into one of the lovely areas with soft mossy banks and babbling brooks.  I am now about 3 and half years since Dx. Met and made a lot of lovely friends along the way. I have my appt on May20th (3rd time lucky I hope ) to have my tatooes put on.-  The icing on the cakes- or as I put it my cherries .  I will get to that appt, have had to cancel twice- bad back- been MRI'd  and after some sleepless nights fearing the worst, have been told it is old age- whats that. I have degeneration of the spine. Not ready for armchair and slippers,  just adjusting to gentler exercise, and not picking up my gorgeous g,daughter.

Hope all you lovely ladies are trotting along well.

Huggles  Jenny.

[applestreet]

Lovely words Cackles hope you and the rest of the ladies are keeping well..apple

[Kayteeb53]

Lovely rememberance Cackles x

[Cackles]

Well it is nearly fpur years since the dark dark woods enticed me into the black humour that helped so many regain NED.. I saw a carpet of bluebells today and the old memories of lemon drizzle cake and drinks at the yurk returned. Soddit that lovely dog and my old nest in the yew tree for comfort and the big C was fought off. Friends on the tangled web along the way....Super Trouper, Revcat, Ducky, Choccie Muffin, Norbite Lulu and last but so important dearest Mavis whose BCC name has gone with the old chemo brain. The sleep fairies still run away and don't do their jobs well but I am here to complain....something I didn't expect then when wandering around the sticky pond of chem. Thank you so much SACO from all of us for starting this thread. Birds without feathers I salute you all. Xxxx

[applestreet]

Gone for a walk through the wood today sun shining the crocus and the daffs are out coming up 3 yrs post chemo now all NED hope all ladies are well..apple

[applestreet]

3 yrs for me and life has settled down, got a new grand daughter for xmas to go with beloved grandson, grateful to be here, happy new year lovely ladies, didn, t know Anne but RIP lovely lady , the rest of us.. Make every day count.. Apple

[Mezzomamma]

Hey there, Supertrouper! So sorry we've lost another great woman. But some of us are still hanging on to NED, and very thankful to be 4 years on from the frightened, hurting women we were when wonderful SCACO showed us the way into the woods in December 2010. Hope things are holding up at your end.

[supertrouper]

Back for a quick visit - dragged out the flag with the two fingered salute on it and now flying it at half mast above my tent next to the lagoon.  RIP AnnieK68 - another angel has her wings.  Fly free lovely lady. xx

[Jenny065]

Hello Kath,  Thanks for the Huggles  very  much appreciated, so sorry you have all those extra problems , as if BC isn't enough to deal with, they heap other things on to us. This road is very long, windy and bumpy, and just when you think you are back on the main route they throw  a few potholes in the way. Some days I can just smile and laugh at IT and bypass the potholes  but think I have fallen into one of the bigger ones this week, and lost my smile,and have ended up in tears again, though I had conquered that bit   now I am not so sure, and   when the fatigue kicks in,  I find I get a horrible sort of feeling, not like when I am just tired.  Hopefully my Appt on 10th will be helpful. O well,  hope the witches and ghoules etc have fun in the woods tonight, I have my tub of sweets ready for when the doorbell goes. My daughter has carved some lovely pumpkins with the g.kids.  Take Care everyone,  thanks for the great support.  Huggles Jenny.x

[poemsgalore]

Hi Jenny,

Lovely to hear your grandson has restocked you with huggles. 

Fatigue is horrendous, especially on the day when my steroid dose has been reduced. I have terrible pain in my lower back, but I've been told it is sciatica as it sometimes spreads down my right leg. Other aches and pains are non existent, except for soreness where I have nodular lesions across my back. I'm hoping the MTX will eventually drive those away. Also get the occasional pain in my head, possible related to the Vasculitis. Although the meds are getting things under control, I will always have vascular problems now, with flares of my RA and RV.  so the feeling good and happy was muted a little with everything I now know about this rotten disease. 

Sending huggles to add to those your grandson gave you. xxx

[Jenny065]

Hello Kath,  That is brilliant news, so pleased for you. Bet you feel good and happy, how are the aches and pains? and the fatigue?

Kaytebee, thanks for bringing that sunshine, hope you had a good holiday.

I had my mammogram and MRI etc last Friday,  now playing the waiting game for results- about 2-3 weeks.Mmmm. 

The sleep gremlins have been having fun again, and keep waking me up at silly times, so must get them sacked, as 3 hours some nights is not enough,  so extremeley tired and tearful again. but my lovely BCN has referred me to another nearby hospital, where they run some courses etc  re Fatigue, so got appointment on Mon 10th. I thought I was getting along towards the end of the bumpy road in the middle of the woods, but yesterday tripped up,  and ended up in tears again, just because I felt so tired-  I hate it.

Hope everyone is ok. 

As always sending bundles of warm huggles.

Jenny. x 

Just been restocked with Huggles, as have spent the afternoon with my grandson- now aged 7,