Starting Chemo November 2012

[Shazzaboro]

Afternoon Sparklers
Been for 3rd EC today, half way there! Can't believe how quickly it has gone so far. Starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel - just hope its not a train!

Sorry you aren't feeling well Jellymould, I've had a bit of bladder irritation this last week so tried to drink more. No infection though, thank goodness. My mouth hasn't been too bad, just feels weird most days. I've been using boiled sweets, mouth wash and brushing teeth a lot. Hope it all eases off for you by Saturday and you have a lovely birthday!

Lucypenney, I've been having the vein pains too. Mentioned it today only to be told its linked to chemo, like I didn't know that lol Got my fingers crossed that they hold out for last 3 sessions!

Jenny12m, like your style! Who says we have to have a big turkey dinner on Christmas day. Chocolate for breakfast and chips for lunch works for me
Hi, Santas Little Helper, sorry you are having such a rough time. I think you should have a chat with your Onc about the chemo to see if there is anything else they can do to help you and get their advice. It sounds like you need stronger anti-sickness. Have you been drinking plenty of fluids. It can be a chore as you spend half your time on loo but worth it. It has eased the bladder irritation for me and, touch wood, I've not had an infection yet. But I've been lucky, se's haven't been too bad for me and I'm only getting EC, not FEC. I'm sure someone with more experience will be along soon to give you better advice than I can. Glad you plucked up the courage to post for the time though. I've found the site itself and the forums invaluable. The Sparklers have helped me through my low times and knowing I can have a rant with people who understand what I'm going through is great. It also helps to read others posts and know that what is happening to you is normal during chemo.

Keep strong and carry on sparkling!

Shazza xx

[Guest user]

Hello all, I ve been reading all the posts but not plucked the the courage to send one. My first FEC ended up being in December, but should of been November (so wanted to stay a sparkler).
i ve had a bumpy first FEC and I am a bit of a wreck.
1st one on 10th dec, vomited do much first night needed to go back to hospital for check. Didn t get out of bed for first three days then managed to get up and about )still hadn t left the house until the 27th when like you jelly mould had acid wee. It was a waonce infection and got the riggor s (they should name the next roller coaster after that episode). Back to bed for two days. Then on 22nd temp hit 38 so had to be admitted and I am still in hospital. Neutropenia and bloods st 0.03 when arrived, now only now 0.38. Very fed up as due to see oncologist on Friday for round 2 on 31st. I am comtemplAting giving up on chemo (sounds drastic but IV means I relive a childhood trauma each time and I ve had counselling to support six rounds of chemo, due to infection I ve Already had Lots of iv, which is what sparks my trauma. Sparklers, as I lie for my fifth night in my hospital bed, still in shock I missed my kids open their stockings and eat their dinner on Christmas Day - any comments, advice would really really help.
SLH x

[jenny12m]

Hello Sparklers
I'm having 3rd FEC tomorrow so have had a good week overall, except for a cold, but downward slope of roller coaster from tomorrow I suspect. However, my appointment is in the morning rather than the usual late afternoon I have had, so at least I won't be taking the steriods late which stop me from sleeping.
Used the chemo as an excuse not to go to the sister in law on Christmas Day, I stayed at home with my two boys, we had chocolate for breakfast and bacon and chips for lunch. We spent the day wtaching TV and playing board games. Got some freah air today.
jellymould - hope you have a good birthday on Saturday, but if not, have another birthday celebration in 6 months. The veins in my arm permanently hurt and the onc said try Ibruprofen gel as all I have been doing is putting a hot water bottle on my arm at night time. I told him I had been down after the last FEC and he asked why - "because chemo is dreadful" I said. D'oh! I looked at the web site that Shazza mentioned and that says that the C does cause bladder irritation.
Lucypenney - don't agree with your dad, I think you should come here to pour out your se and feeling down, that's what everyone is here for, to support each other. If we cannot support each other and have a rant here then the forum is not working. I haven't asked anything about the T part as that's not until 17 Jan for me.
Col - thanks for the poems, they are very good.
Stay strong sparklers.
Love from Jen x

[Guest user]

hi jelly,
i hope that in the next couple of days you feel brighter and i am sure you will enjoy your birthday more than you feel you will right now. i have vein pains too but a hot water bottle does seem to ease, others have suggested ibrophen gel - which i have not tried yet. Also re mouth my mum got me these glisterine mouth swabs from the hospital, you wipe them round the mouth and then really seem to get rid of that horrible taste/feeling..worth a try...? hope you have a good sleep and feel brighter in the morning.
xxx

[Guest user]

hi all hope you've had a good christmas, i have struggled abit, mouth is so sore, eating and drinking is a pain, and not to be crude but down below feels so sore too, feels like im peeing hot acid, and my chemo arm is in bits, the pain in my veins is unbearable and all i can think about is the next lot of chemo when i should be enjoying myself. hoping to have a better birthday as im the big 40 on 29th, was hoping to have a few drinks, oh well will take it as it comes. hugs for all xxxx

[Guest user]

Hi fellow Sparkles, I should have had my 3rd chemo 20th but it got postponed til 27th as my veins kept collapsing. Had to go to Christies on 24th to get a Hickman line fitted but Monday morning I woke up with a cold. I'm now full of a cold and started with a cough today. At least I got to enjoy my Xmas dinner, every cloud and that but I've been so exhausted I've not been able to shower in my surgical scrub and also my dressing is not fully stuck down keeping it waterproof.... I've not been able to talk to my nurse with it being Xmas, so if there's any words of wisdom or advice on offer out there I'd be more then happy to hear from you, thanks RavenDexter

[Guest user]

i should have put tax not tac xx

[Guest user]

Hi Ladies,

Not been online for a while as been under the weather since FEC3 - nothing major just the usual horse kick it seems to give one! I have also been on the younger FB forum.. worth checking out if you are intersted. Missing my sparklers though and hope you are all doing OK... and having the best time you can in circumstances. Feeling pretty low today, just want to feel my high, it cant come soon enough!

I managed xmas dinner etc yesterday which was good and had an OK day, all the family so excited i was eating but they seem disappointed i am not as well today, i feel like in a way my dad is actaully a bit annoyed with me. He is telling me to tell everyone on-line that i had a great day and that i am better but that is not how i feel. grrggh.. head in sand syndrome. he thinks if you eat that means you are fine... and back to normal...rant over!!
my brothers friend has just arrived who i only see once a year, so hiding in bedroom as i dont want to face him or him to see me bald and rank. Husband has gone to his parents and to see his family today. I have retreated to bed wsith Classic FM and my dads laptop...(my ipad doesnt seem to connect here in the country side!).
i had the 'c' drug of fec this treatment for the first time.. omg constipation!!! i have my 1st tac and herceptin on 8th and then 9th jan.. they are doing these seperate days for first treatment... 6 hours obs for herceptin and then back next day for tac. My onc said that they were going to give me the 'c' drugs i missed in first 2 treatments with my tac but she said that the next 3 treatments will be really tough on me as it is so they will ommit it again. onc mentioned that usually they give 75mg tac but they are giving me 100mg... anyone else know these measurements? i am not sure why i am having more or what is common.
whilst i do not want to face another treatment again and i feel they are getting harder, i would like to think that i can see a slight flicker of light at the end of the tunnel knowing that we are now half way.

keep you your strenght fellow sparklers.

xxxx

[deeh]

Hi all fellow sparklers,
Hope you have all had a good xmas day, and for those of you suffering SE's i hope you managed to enjoy some part of the day.
I've got to go for blood test tomorrow and like a few of you should be having my 3rd FEC on thursday.
Despite isolating myself for most of last week and missing out on seeing some good friends and my grandkids because they were not well i have still managed to get a cold which i have had for last three days (luckily my temp hasnt been up so not had to contact hospital), now starting to cough though so thinking my treatment might have to be put off.
PASCAL:- i saw onc last friday and she told me the main side effect of T is like having a bad dose of flu - fatigue and aches and pains - said to take paracetomol or co-codamol but to keep a close watch on temp as obviously they can disguise a high temp. Also said have to take a high dose of steroids day before treatment, day of treatment, and day after and will probably have trouble sleeping . Sorry if that sounds bad but forewarned is forearmed as they say. I know im not looking forward to it!!!! i agree with you though about being half way through on Thursday (hopefully) and how quick the time has gone - doesnt seem 5 minutes since i got diagnosed and cant quite believe what ive been through since - it makes you understand why the say its a fight!!!!
On a brighter note, i finally got to see my grandchildren today for the 1st time in nearly 4 weeks (they have been poorly) and i was so excited to see them and watch them open their presents, made my self imposed isolation worth it because i would have been heartbroken if i hadnt been able to see them today.
Hope you all got lovely pressies today and got all you wished for. I got a lovely snuggly onesie off my mom in law, and a new dressing gown off my bessie mate, so im all ready for the next round of SE's!!
To everyone having treatment this week, good luck, and to those suffering SE's hope you feel better soon and manage to enjoy some of the festivities.
Love to all xxxx

[Guest user]

merry Xmas sparklers!!Hope you're enjoying your Xmas day as best you can. I felt very rough after chemo last night but nit sick and managed a small Xmas dinner too! enjoying my day even if knackered.

Festive best wishes to all!

Love, Col xxxxxxxxx

[Shazzaboro]

Good luck for Thursday Pascal, hope all goes well. Thats my third one too, I'm having 6 EC so don't know about the side effects of T. Onc did say it was rougher on the bowel, which is why I'm not getting it. There is a section on Macmillan site that might help a bit, it gives details of all types of chemo. Here is the link if you haven't looked already: http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Individual...

Shazza x

[Pascal_48]

Merry Christmas everyone x
Chemo number 3 on Thursday so a good Christmas and not so good New Year. Am making sure I drink loads this time as I don't think I drank enough last time and ended up feeling rough for a few days. This is the last of FEC for me, then 3 sessions of T and Herceptin. Does anyone know what the SE's of they are? Half way through chemo after Thursday, gone much quicker than expected and with all your help and support it hasn't been too bad - thank you, hope you all have a lovely Christmas despite what we are all going through xxx

[Shazzaboro]

Morning sparklers and a happy christmas to everyone!

Clarebare, I've had my head shaved too, also a couple of weeks ago. I still have some short stubbly patches, as well as some bald bits. I also still have hair on my arms and am still having to shave legs and armpit. So cruel! Was hoping I could stop worrying sbout some hairy bits I think I may be heading the same way as you hormonally as my periods are all over the place too. Looking forward to them stopping but not sure about the rest of the menopause. At least I now have a couple of good excuses for being grumpy, either bc or menopause
Mummybear, hope your se's clear up for tomorrow. My third cycle is Thursday so tomorrow is looking promising for me, not sure I'll be able to say the same about new years eve lol
CK, hope you are feeling better soon and enjoy Christmas with your family and friends. The emotional ups and downs can be the hardest to handle and the most unpredictable, but we will get through this.
Merry christmas, keep strong and carry on christmas sparkling!
Shazza xx

[Guest user]

Hi Everbody,
Sorry haven't checked in for a while, not been in a good place. Working on it and hopefully coming out the other side!
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas without too many SEs. Take care, big hugs CK

[Guest user]

Merry Christmas Eve sparklers,
I want to send you all all a big hug for Christmas, I am in bed at the moment suffering chemo SE I had my 3rd chemo from last Thursday. Keep strong sparklers & enjoy your celebrations with your families tomorrow.
Good luck to all who are suffering SE and going to have treatment in the next couple of days I am thinking of you and hope they pass quickly.
love
mummybear x x

[clarebare]

Hi Everyone, thanks to all who replied and pleased to report feeling ok at mo! i can basically rule 10 days out after chemo, just fee lso crap. I dread next chemo knowing how im gonna feel. Havent lost all my hair yet,anyone else still got some,. My 15 year old son shaved my head about 2 and a half weeks ago. Piles easing slowly with ointment from docs and germoloid suppositries!! In case anyone else suffering and want to know what helps. Had headache yesterday and felt rough, think its my hormones as have had 2 periods in 3 and half weeks. I'm 47 so maybe ill go into the menopause. Hormones all over the place. Had a terrible pregmnancy with my son and wondered if anyone out there suffered constant nausea and vomitting , apparently there could be link with chemo side effects! Who knows!!Next chemo new years eve so will start new year half way through . Tying to be positive! Happy Christmas to all and i really hope you all have agood time with few side effects Take Care
Love to you all
Clarebarexxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Guest user]

Col 123 thank you cheerede me up!!
Hoping everyone has a good christmas also all of us that may be having xmas chemo hope it goes well and not many side effets.
Stay strong and live every day at one at a time
yvonne xxxx

[Guest user]

Evening Sparklers,

This time last year I was 8 days after 3rd Tax with Herceptin and I felt, and looked, well on Christmas Day - just a bit tired later on in the evening but still managed to stay up quite late. I only finished Herceptin on 10th December this year and would have been discharged from oncology nurse if I had not been on a trial. So, this Christmas, I feel as if I have just got off a roundabout and have my life back at last.

Just wanted to send you a positive message and hope you all manage to have a very Happy Christmas. If any of you want info on anything please feel free to PM me or ask on this thread. and I'll do my best to answer you.

Take care all, Liz.

[Guest user]

evening!

3rd FEC for me tomorrow - doubt I'll be eating sprouts Xmas day. Got some family staying and also on network SLM mentioned so probably won't be on here much over Xmas so just wanted to wish you all the very best for Xmas and hope you all have minimal se' s.

lots of love, Col xxxxx

[Shazzaboro]

Morning Sparklers
Washed wig for first time last night Had a dream/nightmare about it that it went all curly and stuck up in clumps. Glad to report that by morning it was fine, still straight, not stuck up anywhere and just needed a quick brush through -phew!
All set for Christmas now, just waiting for the big day to arrive. Watching lots of christmas tv and films to get in the mood.

Hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to a good christmas, merry christmas, keep strong and carry on christmas sparkling!
Shazza xx

[deeh]

morning sparklers
hope everyone ok and not suffering too much from SE's.
Just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and hope you all have the best time you can.
Dee xxxx

[Guest user]

hi sparklers
i have been a bit quite on here as i have found a facebook site for younger women under 45 i assume a few of us are on there , its a bit busyier and always some one around , but i do pop back and to to support ,

so im day one after 3rd fec looks like im getting a 4th fec as responding very well , doc could not even find one of the lumps ,
i have blogged if any one interesed
http://sarahmartin1970.blogspot.com/2012/12/an-up-and-down-day.html

my se's are really minimal at the mo , as im on strike for the next 2 poss 3 days and sleeping and drinking , so im good by day 4 xmas day yeh ,
sorry some of yoou are struggling , but as we know its only the first week then as lond as you look after your self , its 2 weeks grace again , we all know its hard but i keep saying its a vey short time in your life , to battle this crap and have a life after and there is a fab life after his

dont know about you but its taking me longer and longer to type stuff that makes sence lol thank god for spell check but it remembering to use it hahahaha

ok spell check will not work today so sorry if there is a few type o's lol sudhfiwhhkBDFGdukdd

[Guest user]

Hi all
clarebare
sorry you're struggling. it's tough isn't it? you can try the helpline on herehere if you feel you'd like to talk to someone. Hope you feel abut better today. xxxx

shazza again hope you're ok today. keeping busy is a good plan. my little boy keeping mind off it all but I can imagine it's hard if you're on your own. chin up xxx
mags glad you got out with the dogs but back pain isn't good! take it easy.

Hi sml Hope you're ok after fec.

not much but a couple of new ones - I apologise in advance.......Love Col xxx

My tits, tits, tits,
Have got me in all in bits,
They used to be pert,
Now they're going, that's a cert,
But then I'll treat myself to tea at the Ritz.


Drink plenty of water they say,
Please don't let me be sick I pray,
So they poison my veins,
And I get horrible pains,
And Christ knows how much I now weigh!


If I'm not thinking about my tits,
Then I'm thinking about my lady bits,
I used to have a nice muff,
But now it looks like it needs a buff,
Do they do brunette merkin kits?

[Mags2710]

Hi all, Good day today, back to eating and drinking, making up for yesterday. Went for a walk with dogs and OH bit sore afterwards with lower back pain due to giving myself injection to boost immune for next fec. Painkillers and the hit shops after tea for some xmas prezzies. Awake again, hope it doesn't become a habit lol.
Shazzaboro I was a bit down when I was being sick but it soon passed. My head is getting patchy so think it will be getting cut inbetween xmas and new year if I can get my friend (busy social life and work).
Hugs to all xx

[Guest user]

hi sparklers been a very busy day, not stopped shopping, gonna chill now and wait for christmas, merry christmas everyone. keep smiling. xx

[Shazzaboro]

Morning Sparklers
Physically doing ok but emotionally on a bit of a downer. Think its a combination of the time of year and being almost half way through chemo. Sounds like other people are suffering too either physically or emotionally so its probably normal. Must make more of an effort to lift it over next couple of days, dont want to be a party pooper.
Clarebare, I'm on 6 cycles of EC, had two and third is next week so will be half way through by end of year. I live alone so have the luxury of being miserable in my own time usually. I do get lonely at times but am trying to make an effort to get out and about when I feel up to it. Nothing very exciting, just meeting friends for a coffee or going to pictures, etc. When I'm stuck in the house I've been taking the opportunity to do a bit of sorting out of cupboards, housework, etc. But I've been quite lucky in that my SEs have been manageable. Keep strong!
Mags, so glad to hear the leg hair is finally going lol I've shaved my head as it was getting too patchy, and the brazilian is coming on nicely but still having to shave legs. I've got 3rd cycle next Thursday so hopefully won't have to shave legs for new year!
Hope everyone else is doing as well as they can, keep strong and carry on sparkling!

Shazza xx

[Mags2710]

Hi Sparklers, Had second FEC on 19th everything went fine until 10pm then vomited and continued till yesterday at 3.30pm, Had to get GP in got a new anti-sickness tab as nothing was staying down. But that had to be ordered in so had to wait till 3pm till I good get it. Never been sick like that before. I this whats in store for me next time. Awake now as was late getting the steriods in me. Will be more organised today and get them over with early. On the up the hairs on my legs are starting to leave me so won't need to save for xmas day lol.
Hang in there if your suffering SE
Hugs all round.xxxx

[Guest user]

[Guest user]

Hi clarebear


im on 6 fec I think , not really sure as was allergic to tax and they have not told me what else they are going to give me , I'm on 3rd fec tomorrow , Im with you on the piles plus constipation and heartburn , and being tired , but the people on here at all in the same situation give or take a week or so , there is smiles tears rants and it really nice to know that you are not alone .

it hard this time of year as every one is happa also every one is full of colds and germs so that does not really help either

chin up Hun , sending virtual hugs xxxx

[clarebare]

HI, IM NEW TO THIS SITE BUTLONELY AND STRUGGLING WITH CHEMO. IM ON 2NDCYCLE OF FEC, 3X FEC AND 3X TAXOTERE.
ANYONE GOING THROUGH THIS CRAP, FEELING BIT BETTER TODAY BUT MOOD SWINGS HORRENDOUSB AND HATE FEELING SO ILL. EATING FOR ENGLAND BUT TERRIBLE PILES. ANYONE OUTTHERE STRUGGLING TO COPE WITH THIS NIGHTMARE.

[Mags2710]

Hi, sparklers, sorry I haven't been on latley, computor in getting sorted and struggle to get on anybody elses. And dd is moving back home so have been helping her. Went to see onc today and bloods are up enough to get second fec, just a week late but at least I'm getting it before xmas. So hopefully will be good for xmas day. My hair is all off now shorter than my OH. My son is gettong use to it,even went to the shops with me the other day and I was just wearing a scarf. He still prefers my wig. I'm not bothered now am quite happy going about house without anything on my head, a bit cold outside to go without hat. Took a bit of getting use to sleeping as the bristles were digging into my scalp. Hope SE as easing for anybody suffering with them.
Big hugs. xxxx

[jenny12m]

Hello Sparklers!
Well what a roller coaster this ride is! I was having a 'bad' week last week, but 'good' one this week. It's so good to come here and read similarities from everyone else re funny mouth and hairloss. I really admire those of you who are OK with being bald - I hate it and cannot look at my face in the mirror without my indoor hat on. Even when I put on my face cream (Shazza - face finishes before hat starts), I don't like the smoothness of my skin compared to having fine hairs on my face - does that make me sound like I had a hairy face before? I like having the smooth legs without shaving, but hate that skin everywhere is smooth too. Even on the back of my neck. Having said that, I am very lucky and have two fantastic wigs that I love and fit comfortably - better than my normal hair, whatever that used to look like!
I do like to show other people my bald head though - just to freak them out. The bald husband of one friend said "welcome to my world".
Sympathies to everyone suffering with se at the moment. Good luck to those who have treatments this Thursday and Friday.
Quick joke: Chicken says to the turkey "Merry Christmas", turkey says to the chicken "F*** off!"

[SuperSusan]

Hi Sparklers,
Just had a slight knockback - when I thought all was going well. I managed to avoid all colds, flus and vomitting bugs, and went out after day 14 as I thought my body was building its immune system back up.
However, yesterday I had my bloods done (3 days prior to my next chemo) only to get a call from the hospital saying my bloods are all very low and so chemo will be postponed by a week. They have had to give me an injection to help build up white blood cells and also a course of antibiotics. And then today I woke up feeling really rotten - aches and pains in my bones (which they said I could have) and a constant headache; add to that the fact that the entire roof of my mouth has been in bits and on fire for 2 days now, making eating and drinking very difficult. And now to top it all off, my hair started coming out in lumps in spite of the cold cap. If this is meant to be my "good week", I hate to think what lies ahead of me for the rest of the chemo!!
Anyway, since I kept myself out of harms way and stayed at home for the past week or so, I now have all of my Christmas shopping to finish this week.
Hey ho, roll on Christmas; at least I should be feeling better then and able to enjoy it.
I hope the rest of you sparkelrs are doing well. x

[Guest user]

hi lovely sparklers just rand hospital to check my bloods were ok and im fine to go for chemo tomorrow, another one down 3 more to go. xxx for those that will be going on Taxotere i found this on another site, soak in a bath of epsom salts for 20 mins it reduces the side effects.
In addition to all Epsom Salt bath benefits, mixing in ginger with the mix will open pores of the skin and further aide in eliminating pain. Stir two cups Epsom salt and four tablespoons of ginger in a cup of water first and then add to bath water. Keep soaking under 20 minutes. This bath is the perfect substitute for a sauna since ginger is a super anti-inflammatory agent. will be trying this one. xx

[Shazzaboro]

Morning Sparklers
Here is a thought for you. It occurred to me when I was getting ready this morning. When the hair is gone and you are putting cream on your face, where does your face stop and your head begin?
I'm off out for christmas lunch with a friend today. I'm hoping it will be fairly quiet as I'm slap bang in the middle of week two and low immune system. Spent most of the weekend pottering around in the house so looking forward to getting out. Did some baking with my nephew on Saturday afternoon, which we both enjoyed and spent yesterday sorting my wardrobe out.
Col, I got a leopard print sleep cap so I look like a bad 1930's film star lol
CK, sorry you are feeling down. Hope yo feel better soon. There is nothing wrong with feeling how you do, you just need to let it out. There are lots of times when I feel down, upset, angry, p**d off, and now and again ok. I try to go with it and if I feel like a cry I do. There are things I can't do at times and that really makes me feel useful as I am very independent. I get so frustrated sometimes but when possible try to focus on what I can do, when I can do it. I have a large head too and found it difficult to buy hats in shops as they tend to be one size only and end up perched on top of my head. For some reason I deperately wanted a trilby so went on to Amazon. I got one after I measured my head and bought the right size for me. My wig has adjustable velcro straps inside so it can be adjusted slightly. The wig lady sorted me out as I had it on the wrong setting and it was all over the place to begin wig. If yours doesn't I would be complaining to the fitter. You have enough going on without worrying about that!
SLM I'm with you on the fluid intake, good luck! I've got my next cycle on 27th so I'll be in a similar position for new year. Not sure how 'happy' it will be. On the plus side I have my 50th next year and if treatment goes to plan it will be finished at the end of Feb. My birthday is the end of March, so thinking about what I want to do to celebrate. Hopefully I will be feeling better by then, so it might be my new year then!

Keep strong and carry on sparkling everyone

Shazza xx

[Guest user]

Hi Mummybear I live in Batley so about half an hour or so from leeds.
I thought I had got away with the sickness this time but had to take the tablets last night and this morning not fair
Hope everyone had a good weekend and hope those with chemo this week get through it ok.
Stay strong xxx

[Guest user]

Morning spsparklers

im on a mission to start fluid intake and sleep catch up as I have my 3rd chemo on Friday and Xmas day will only be day 4 , so I want it to go as smoothly as it can , so fill my veins with fluid and keep the water intake up , I slacked on my second and I found the se's seam to last longer , so water it is of any kind and lots of it as I need to be ready to get up with my daughter on Tuesday . Still have a few Xmas presents to get so may battle to shops later , but T the mo I'm having a nice coffee and a few biscuits before I make up my mind to go out in this weather
we had a really nice day seeing Santa yesterday , he was a really good one and we go to go around a wonky factory before we saw him lol



hope you are all keeping well and warm ,

xxxxxxx

[Guest user]

Hi all glad to hear of all your stories, this week has been bloody awful, family fall ous an infected vein and a blocked gland, now on anti biotics, I have had some very dark thoughts this week. To finish it off my hair started coming ouon today, my second fec is on Wednesday and will only go ahead if bloods come back ok. Before this I was doing ok, but events this week have knocked me for 6. Don't know about anyone else, but I am so independent and have forced myself to carry on as normal, this week I have done nothing but cry, but hey ho Christmas round the corner can't wait. Anyhow I hope u are all having a good weekend catch u soon keep smiling.

[Guest user]

Nice one Jellymould. Am going to think about sorting some happy things out for next year. ts great to have something to look foward to. Great stuff.

xx

[Guest user]

Hi Mummybear - don't worry - I'm making the most of the peace to write some xmas cards. Ive got stacks to write and if I dont get a move on xmas will be here befoer I know it. This aftenoon would be diffuclt anyway so dont worry about it. I understand about the teenagers still in bed - thats the way it should be when youre a teenager!! Just drop me a message any time to let me know if oyure passing at any time and we can arrange something. Probably be after xmas now with everything going on. Hope your chemo goes well on thurs. Unfortunately, mine;s on xmas eve - which is frankly crap but there we go. have a good day and god luck for thurs. xx

ck - im so sorry youve been feeling as you have. You realy shouldn't be hard on yourself. Youre dealing with a horrible horrible thing and youre doing really well!! I cant believe youve been thinking about work after having such a set back going into hospital! I can see why as I sometimes think Id like some normality to my life again and theres always the money! but you should really try and listen to your body and rest. your job sounds very busy and I dont think you should try and push yourself until youre really ready for it. Ive decided not to work at all through chemo and I'm lucky that my employer is very supportive but sometimes I cant get up the stairs without having to have a lie down at the top! so I know I wouldnt be able to do it justice. I know some people are managing so much better than me but I dont let myself feel that I'm coping in some way of I can do what they can do. Everybody is clearly very dfferne tin how they responde, etc and im really please for those that can do lots of things but I know I cant so I dont. You shouldnt push yourself too hard. Jelly mould (you are a force of nature girl xmas shoping 2 days after chemo!! btw good luck with chemo on wed) clearly has more energy than me and thats fab - I love hearing about Zumba, etc - but it defo doesnt mean I'm looking to book any classes for myself! im happy knowing others can do it. On the persent front, you really should try and use Amazon and e bay - most of my stuff has coem from there this year and it's all new and just as if id gone to the shops and bought it, except a nice man in a van has brought it to me instead! I've also just got gift vouchers for some of my family who live far away. They understand what position Im in and I can t be arsed to stand in a post office posting parcels. Anybody, who cares for you Ck will totally understand and wont expect anything from you but I know you'll want to do something so go for vouchers if you really cant face the shops or on line shopping. Try not to stress about it. loads of people have said to me you need to be more selfish as im one of those people thats always running around for others, putting myself out, etc. I'm still doing it to some degree but I'm definately more focused on me and getting through this and I dont think thats a bad thing (although being brought up a good catholic girl - lapsed!! - I do feel constantly guilty just about everything and anything but I try and shake it off as best I can). That wig woman wants sorting out too. Thats so bad. I hope macmillan can help in some way. She really should exchange the wig as it was never fit for purpose in the first place. You need my oh on her case as he really doesnt give a stuff when dealing with people like her and would embarass her in front a shop full of people without a care. I cant do that at all and dont like a fuss but he tells them straight. I've had to walk away on many an occasion but its alwasy a fair point he had to make. He just wont tolerate people walking over him which I admire and wish I could be a bit more like sometimes. He'd get it changed I'm sure - dont you know anybody abit more like thatl? if not, he could always call her if you want him to. Let me know.

cookie - ive sent you a messgage.

Something funny from my little one - mum - "where's this straw from that's stuck all over your gloves? "oh yeah, that's from the nest we built for the baby Jesus" Kids are great aren't they?

Hope everybody else is having a good weekend.

Love, Col xxx

[Guest user]

morning sparklers im such a happy bunny today, im going to birmingham next june to meet the cast of my favourite show the vampire diaries and they have just added more guests will be meeting 9 of them with hopefully more to be announced, im buzzing at the moment, needed something to really boost me at this time. whooooo so sorry. (running round doing happy dance) whoooo.

have a good day all. xxx

[Guest user]

Good morning sparklers,
Col123 I am so sorry I didn't get back to you, i am unable to pin down a time to meet, my teenage step daughters are still asleep, pls accept my apologies, could I send you a private message to arrange a time when we can arrange a mutual day & time, when is your next chemo? Mine is Thursday.
How r u feeling today? My eye is streaming I cannot shake this off at the moment, I have had eye drop antibiotics for conjunctivitis, has anyone else had this?
welcome cookie are all here for you.
yvonone my daughters were born at the LGI are you local?
hugs to you, we are all brave!!! Keep sparkling 🙂
mummybear x

[Guest user]

Cookie52 I am sorry you are feeling down I know the feeling well hope you feel better really soon just take one day at a time xxx
Hope everyone1 has a great weekend and not too many side effects.
Keep strong
love yvonne xxx

[Guest user]

Hi
Not been up to posting so far, such a lot to get your head around and side effects to take in. Also the stress of Christmas time and the season to be jolly!! Ho blooming ho!!
I had my first chemo on 22nd Nov...just had my second on the 13th Dec
My second lot of chemo has been easier to deal with as they gave me stronger anti-sickness drugs. The first time i got so weak from constant sickness and nausea. Hurrah this time no sickness!!!!!
Feeling like i am neglecting my duties as a mum "guilt complex". My little 4year old has been passed round the family whilst i rest.
Just more emotional this time and it all seems like such a mountain to climb until i get my life back under control. Fed up of being brave and strong. Trying to be positive and put a clowns smile face on so i dont worry my nearest and dearest. They are all being brilliant and rallying round. I just hate being a burden and want my independence back.
So for more cycles of chemo to go 1 more FEC, then 3 Taxotare.
Confident in a few days i will have my spirit back and be back on track for a the best christmas i can at the mo.
Everyone you are all an inspiration and tour comment so helpful.
Love to all. Keep climbing our mountains. The top has got to be there just over the mist.
xxx

[Guest user]

hi all feeling much better today, i think the antibiotics and the half bottle of whiskey in my hot toddy's are working. still feel like my chest is in a vise and im shining brighter than rudolph at the moment, but hey ho, it is nearly christmas. having a chillaxing day today got a busy week ahead. bloods on monday, chemo wed, then final christmas shop on friday then im gonna put my feet up and wait for christmas to come along, i am usually bad a couple of days after chemo so the sat and sun are out just hope i come round enough to enjoy christmas day. xx

[Guest user]

Hi Sparklers,
My apologies for not checking in for a while. Hope you are all bearing up with not too many SEs. I’ve been really fed up with everything and didn’t want to drag everyone down. Hopefully things will improve soon. All I’ve done for Christmas is put up the tree, no cards or presents, no shopping, just can’t face the prospect. I have wanted to go to work but haven’t managed it so am feeling pretty useless all in all.

Had FEC-T #3 yesterday, feeling a bit nauseas today but overall not too bad so far. Apart from antibiotics have also been given injections to take from Tuesday for a week to build up immune system as I had quinsy on my tonsil after last chemo and was in hospital for a few days. Terrible, I think that experience threw me into a downward spiral.


I’m really struggling with the hair loss. The wig I’ve been given is way too tight so am relying on scarves and hats. (I have a big head, just over the average size I’ve since found out so need a large size). Want to go into work but wig gives head ache in half an hour. I work on computer in a busy office as a manager so see lots of people and have to concentrate a lot so need to be with it. Complained to hairdresser, her option is to get wig stretched at a cost to me! She said on the fitting day my head was quite big but didn’t even measure my head on the day and says that wigs are supposed to be tight. Sympathetic, not! I assumed she knew what she was doing! Will contact MacMillan (who recommended her) on Monday to see what they suggest.

Anyway enough of me moaning. I’m gonna try to relight my sparkler and sparkle on. Enjoy your weekend xxx

[Guest user]

I didn't know it was part 1 either - oh well something to look forward to! I like your approach shazza - I only ever go with my little boy so didn't think about going in the day. I think I might feel guilty not taking him but then again.......

mummybear - my little boy goes to rugby on Sunday mornings and I don't fancy standing in the cold for 2 hours so will be about tomorrow morning if you're passing through?

didn't wake up to anything horrible, which is good, just a letter from my onc dated 27 november!! I know there's lots of Xmas post but nearly 3 weeks to get a letter to someone is pretty rubbish I think - it's probably more down to the administrstion in the NHS rather than royal mail. ah well.

have a good weekend sparklers!

Love Col xxxx

[Shazzaboro]

Hi Sparklers,
The Hobbit was brill! I just didn't realise it was going to be part 1, hoped it would be the full thing lol I went to the 10.30 sitting on a school day so there were only about a dozen people in the cinema. Method in my madness Col. It is a long film though, almost 3 hours, but definitely worth a look. I even found Martin Freeman believable as Bilbo Baggins. Mummybear, I read it years ago too and really enjoyed it, may even read it again.
I've had thrush both times I've had chemo and it has cleared up with tablets. Still get a weird taste/feeling in my mouth afterwards though. My mouth feels a bit 'thick'. Its the only way I can describe it. Pineapple juice does help but its usually ok if I suck a boiled sweet, clean my teeth or use mouthwash too. I just assumed it was something to do with the chemo killing cells in my mouth too, but who knows.
SLM, loving your xmas plans, thats the way to do it!
Have a good weekend, keep strong and carry on sparkling

Shazza xx

[Guest user]

Thanks for tips but don't think it was thrush as it seems ok today.of course now I've fgone and said that I'll wake up tomorrow with something horrible!

mummybear - are you my way this weekend - you mentioned a coffee? let me knowknow if you are.

I so want to see the Hobbit but am day 13 and am being ultra cautious this cycle because of Xmas bring round the corner and really not wanting to catch any bugs. So many people I know have colds, coughs and the sickness bug. I feel like a bit of a hermit this week, and maybe a bit over the top, but don't care as long as I don't get ill. shazza - was it good?

Have a good weekend everyone!

Love, Col xxxx

[Guest user]

Good afternoon sparklers,

Welcome snodby we r here to listen, support and offer advice were we can! X

jellymould I hope your Christmas lunch with your family was fab 🙂

slm love your pic, not sure I am brave enough to post my pic yet!! you are looking hot!!

col123 I use my gel & mouthwash i got from the dentist it clears up in 3-4 days, I get the ulcers in my throat too. I wear a little pink sleep hat for bed too X

Shazza enjoy the hobbit babe, I read the book when I was 7 a nostalgic happy memory thank you 🙂

Yvonne stay strong hun, I hope you are feeling a bit better today,

Ck1, Pascal a virtual hug to you both x

deeh keep that chin up, hopefully by the summer the worst will be over for most if us 🙂

Curlytop I dreaded making food because if hair loss so it was a relief when the wig lady shaved my hair. I love my wig now. Be brave 🙂 x

Love & best wishes to everyone having treatment in the next few days. Session 3 for me on Thursday dreading this one, not looking forward to loosing my eyelashes & eyebrows x 😞

Stay strong & keep on sparkling x x

Mummybear x