Wow, thought the last lot of swamp juice would be ok, but have had the stuffing knocked out of me a bit!!!!! But slowly rising again and getting the appetite back, fish and chips on Friday, woohoo!
Libby, Hi 5 to you for finishing too, good luck on 23rd of Feb xx
Lizzy, hope work is going well, felt the same myself putting my suit back on. The weirdest feeling, being nervous, almost like being the newbie in the office and I'm the longest serving in the department!!!!
Clare, blimey really sorry to hear about your redundancy, however, maybe a blessing in disguise if you get a decent redundancy package, whole new world of evaluation for you hopefully xx
Teresa, good luck on the 2nd March and hope you have a fab break before xx
Hugs to you all, Simone xxx
Thanks peeps, they are closing the site i work at so its not just me, everyone is going. It has been rumoured that this would happen i was just hoping it would take longer to sort but they not hanging about, ive been told it could close within the month. Will have my meeting next week so will find out more about pay etc. Ive been there 6 years
Thanks for the link Sam, ill have a read up on the benefits one
Teresa - glad you got your date for op sorted and thats lovely that you will have a nice relaxing weekend before it by the sea x
If you would like to find out more information about what your rights are with your employer just use the link below to go the BCC page, which has details of the publications available:-
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Sorry to hear that Clare, I was told by my occy health team that having had "this" I was now covered by thhe Disabilty Act.
Maybe its worth looking down this avenue if you want to fight the redundancy?
Clare, that's a bummer. I hope that it would have happened anyway and they haven't selected you because of the BC. Hope they treat you well with a good redundancy package. I was made redundant last year (shortly before diagnosis) but fortunately got a good package. My new firm have been great to me giving me the full sick package even though I am on a temporary contract. They even extended my contract at Christmas until the summer even though they could have got rid of me. They have said there will be no job for me in the summer but I am not worried about that at the moment.
Have you worked for your firm for a long time? If you are off sick and you are being paid through the firm's insurance I'm not sure that they can make you redundant as my old firm tried to do that with one of my old colleagues who was on long term sick and they had to take her out of the consultation in the end.
Teresa, that's lovely that you have booked a weekend away...something to look forward to before your op. I'm at work at the moment but as I am not too busy I keep looking at holiday deals. I just need my oncologist to decide about my rads so I can get something booked!
I hope everyone has a good day and enjoys the frosty sunshine.
Oh clare it never rains but it pours! I hope you are positive that this redundancy would have happened to you anyway, otherwise questions are to be asked i think! You're right though you cant really be looking for a new job at the moment can you? Sending more hugs. Make sure you get in touch with the benefits people. I have been lucky enough to get employment support allowance which is really helpful. I was self employed but only worked a few hours a week in term time so didnt think i would get anyhing but i kept up my national insurance contributions so it was ok.
So i got a date for surgery. Full mx and ax clearance on fri 2nd march. Worried about getting lymphoedema but what will be will be. Best to have a swollen arm than to risk even one cancer cell being there post chemo. Dh not sure (blah blah research) but it is my body at the end of the day. After all the extra mind space needed yesterday for all that i needed a temazepam to help me sleep last night!!
Got a cottage near st austell overlooking the sea provisionally booked for the longweekend before the op and we are taking the kids out of school for the fri and mon. It looks lovely and is near the eden project so hope to go there. I hv 4 weeks between last chemo and mx so should feel ok by then.
Hope all u lovely october ladies have a good day
Hello lovely october ladies
Thanks for the hugs, i do seem to have been such a groucho! But today i finally started to feel a bit better and less achy (mouth still yuk tho) went to unit and my bloods are back up so dont have to have the last couple of injections yay! So felt bit positive and coming out of the dark hole ive been in for a few days....
Then had phonecall from my boss informing me i am being made redundant within the month......great! Had a feeling it was coming but was hoping it would drag out till i was back on my feet. Have no idea what we going to do, its not like i can look for another job while im still undergoing treatment. My boss said they still have a duty of care to me because of my situation so i can only hope i have a good redundancy package to last me a few months??
Teresa - glad you coming out the other side of 5th chemo too. No advice on the aux, i had 6 out but they were clear fortunately so didnt have to get all removed. Hope you get some clear answers x
Teresa, glad you are getting over your fifth treatment. How many do you have left? My SLNB was clear so I did not have full clearance but had to have a MX before chemo as didn't get clear margins. Hope it all goes ok when you see your surgeon later today.
Libby, congrats on finishing chemo. Wishing you all the best with the surgery
Tazzie, I had a lumpectomy first but the tumours were multifocal and I didn't get clear margins and then they discovered I had widespready DCIS so I had a MX
Clare, hope you are feeling a bit better and that you can eat chocoate soon. I still force myself to eat it as i love it and then I get annoyed as I eat it as it doesn't taste right!
I'm back at work this week. So far so good but it was a bit weird putting my suit on this morning and trying to apply makeup only to realise my eyelashes have virtually departed this world. Luckily my wig covers up my fast depleating eyebrows!
Hope everyone is bearing up under the strain!
I am coming through the other side of my 5th treatment, 2nd FEC. I was horribly sick in the evening after my chemo, and again in the night. Felt a bit nauseous since, and have the usual dry dry mouth, a bit of heartburn etc, feeling tired but too dreadful. Have had to get dressed and ready to go out today as we're off to see the surgeon again to fix up Mx date and procedure. I will have to have recon (if at all) at a later date. We are going to discuss how many nodes to remove too - have most people had all of theirs out? I had a SLNB and 1 of the 2 nodes was affected, so I think we'll be going for a full axiliary removal, but there is some evidence to suggest that with neo-adjuvant chemo it may not be necessary, but on the other hand why take the risk?! I would rather still be walking around healthy and have lymphoedema than a recurrence. Anyone got any thoughts?
Fortunately I did not have a job on my hands to get the GCSF this time - took husband for support as I thought there would be a discussion, but no problem, the registrar suggested it. They start today, but I'm going to get the DN to show me how to do it myself. I think - I hate having to wait in - not that I go out much, but if I do want to pop out for 5 mins I can then, can't I? I didn't want a repeat of the delay last time, and neither did she so Happy Days.
Libby I think my surgery is about the same time as yours, and congrats on finishing the chemo at last! Also like you I spend a lot of time in the spare room!
Clare, hope you're feeling OK now you have your own space and you're not getting too down on your own?
OK signing off for now. Love to all
Forgot to mention Lulu, I was told I'm on so many steroids to minimise the swelling of my ankles, Onc said tailing them down from high dosage first three days, to eventually one a day should help my ankle and leg pain as not such a shock to system if weaned off gradually.
Tazzie, I had my last chemo 12th Jan, on 3rd Jan I had an appointment with my Breast Surgeon who talked through my options which are same as yours. I asked his advice, and as I had already indicated I wouldn't want to put myself through reconstruction surgery he said he was more than reasonably confident that a lumpectomy and surrounding tissue op would show clear margins. Of course he couldn't offer a guarantee, which I understood, if my margins aren't clear I shall have to go back for a MX. I have made my decision based on listening to my Surgeon with whom I'm confident has my best interest at heart. He did suggest I make an appointment to speak with my BCN for a second discussion and reassurance, and also said if I change my mind within the next few weeks that's fine. My lumpectomy has been arranged for 23rd Feb. Did you have a SLNB before chemo, if so were your lymphs clear? I had clear lymphs which I assume is taken into account when the Surgeon assesses a case.
Each case is different, and yours may be very different, or similar to mine, I would contact the helpline here, also your BCN.
Clare, I hope you are feeling more serene, and upbeat. I'm pleased your MIL understood you needed time on your own, she sounds a wonderful person and I'm sure won't wish for you to feel guilty.
A good cry is cathartic, always better out than in. Nice that you have Hotel Chocolate to enjoy next week, very indulgent!
Have you considered injecting yourself? It's really easy and pain free, and does put you in control - no waiting around for a nurse to turn up.
Thanks Clare and Lulu for your congrat's on me finishing chemo, must say it seemed another hurdle climbed.
Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow, and not many S/E's.
Tazzie at my unit they would only recommend a mastectomy if the tumour was large, multifocal or didn't think they would get clear margins.... If however a lady preferred an mx perhaps because she didn't live nearby and rads would have been very difficult.....
Why not ask your surgeon if it was his wife/daughter/sister/mother what would he recommend?
Clare, hope you are feeling better. Wish there was some advice I could give you, but I haven't any so sending you a big hug x.
Tazzie, I had a lumpectomy, but that was probably due to where my lump was. I have my last chemo on the 20th too. Can't believe I'mat the end. Just radiotherapy to go.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone.
As well as the support you receive on here you might find it helpful to talk this through with a trained member of staff on the BCC helpline. Here you can share your concerns and discuss your options with someone who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open today until 2pm and Monday to friday 9 to 5pm.
I hope this is helpful.
Kind regards Sam, BCC Facilitator
hi gorgeous ladies. i need some advice. got my last fec treatment next week 20th jan hooray .same day have an appt with my breast surgeon. i saw my oncologist yesterday and the indication is that i will be given an option of either a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy. how the ....do you know what to do. from previous experience with my breast surgeon he will leave the decision to me and i really don't know what to do . part of me says conserve what you can of the breast and the other says just take it off and get rid of it. i want to do what is the best outcome for me in the long run. it appears that the chance of recurrence of the cancer is not really any different between the two types of surgery but i am still at a loss as to what to do. i would rather be told what to do then have to make the choice in case i make the wrong one. has anyone else been in this postion and if so how did you mske your decision. sorry to ask but really don't know which way to turn. many thanks tazzie
Libby - Well done on final tax! Thanks for advice, MIL has gone home this morning, we were both in tears but i said i just need to be on my own for a bit, i think she understands she just feels helpless and i feel crap for making her feel like that :o( anyway i have just lounged over the sofa today, had a few tears but feels good to let it out. Feeling a bit calmer but still miserable as sin. A friend sent me a gift from hotel chocolate, lovely thought but just made me cry again cos i wont be able to taste it anyway. I will attack it next week though.
The nurse comes to do my injections, they started about 1.30 but they are kind of a law to themselves and vary a lot so normally between 1 and 4
Edit - nurse came at 4.30 today grrr
Oh Libby well done getting to the end of treatment..... Just think this lot of SEs will be the last ones! Hope they don't linger around to long though.
Yes my sleep pattern is to pot..... My oh snores and that keeps me awake when i do go to bed but I try and cat nap when I can during the day to catch up.... But sometimes it's only a 5 minute snooze.... I hardly sleep the night before Chemo but usually sleep well on chemoday but can be wide awake again by midnight.
You do seem to be on a high dose of steroids... No wonder your wide awake and bouncing off th ceilings.... I'm on 4 twice a day (8mg) on the day before Chemo, the day I'm getting Chemo and the day after Chemo and then I stop them..... Might be worth asking your onc to review your dose.
My injection s 24 hours after Chemo I have the pegfilgrastim - neulasta - so it's just a one off jag.... Last cycle was actually over 48 hours after Chemo cos I completely forgot all about it.
Clare hope your MIL will understand that you need a bit of you time without her watching over you, hope your OH can have a word with her and you can maybe see her on a good day instead....
Anyway gonna head to bed and see if the sleep fairy is gonna work her magic.
What time of day are you injecting, do you inject yourself or is a nurse giving you them? I inject myself and inject at around 9.30pm, my BCN suggested this time as said I should sleep through a lot of the worst effects, it definitely does help doing them later in the day. There MUST be 24hrs between each jab, more is OK but 24hrs at least. I find injecting myself painless and easy.
Moving on to steroids, I take 38 per cycle and mine too are Dexmathesone, my dosage is ..... 4xtwice a day for three days (day before chemo, day of and day after) then 2xtwice a day for next day, and 1xtwice a day for 5 days. It does seem you are taking less than me, but why I don't know, see what Lulu's opinion is.
I always move into the spare room when I'm not sleeping well, it's better for both of us, I tend to be in and out of bed, I sit in the lounge at silly o'clock either reading or on my laptop, then think I'm ready for sleep, go back to bed, can't sleep, it's a vicious circle! Maybe you don't have that option with MIL staying? I do agree that next cycle you will be better on your own, but I can see how difficult for you to broach the subject as you clearly love her lots and are reluctant to hurt her feelings. There has to be a way round this, and if no-one else comes up with a solution I'll try and think of something.
I was pleased to hear it's you who wants to go back to work and you have a lovely boss and colleagues. I hope you feel well enough to go in to work as it will be nice to mix with your workmates, a different conversation away from cancer, chemo, etc. Enjoy if you do go, but do be sensible and leave early if you feel whacked.
Did you have a more restful and calm day today? I hope so. I know where you're coming from re food tasting foul, I made the most of the last few days as know Tax mouth is on it's way, I've really stuffed my self been an absolute pig, salmon, saute potatoes, broccoli and french beans followed by cheese and biscuits, lemon drizzle cake and Milk Tray was the menu today. No guilt though, as I know soon I'll be eating very little, when foods not enjoyable I don't want it.
Love and hugs, Clare, next week should be better.
Lulu, I think you and me suffer the same symptoms from Tax, no quality sleep at all, I was up ALL night last night, managed to go to sleep at 8.30 am this morning and was up at 12.15pm as had chemo at 1.45pm. Also, we both have painful legs and ankles, I've got to the stage now where I am only able to walk on the flat for 10mins then need a sit down, and I can't do stairs, luckily we live in an apartment with lift.
It was my 4th and final Tax today, yay, yay, yay! What a relief, I clicked my heels out of the door. It was sad though saying goodbye to the ward receptionist, and the chemo nurses I'd had contact with as they were all so lovely. Six weeks now to build some strength and then my lumpectomy, another step toward normality, whatever that will be post treatment???
Hope everyone's feeling best they can depending where you are in your cycle.
Love and hugs to all.
Lulu im not on steroids now, i had 4 day before chemo, 4 day of chemo and whatever went in with chemo. The only steroid i was sent home with was dexmathesone which was just one in morning for 2 days only. Should i ask for more steroids next time? Will this improve blood count and save injections?
Clare see when you get your bloods checked have you taken your steroids yet? if you can take them early enough to have both lots of steroids your bloods should be normal or near enough normal as it boosts them and may mean you can stay on schedule and maybe not need so many jags.
Libby hope you can get a decent sleep.... But I too don't sleep at night very well, whether it's after steroids or not I just don't do sleeping all night.... Would come on here more in the insomnia hours but connection keeps dropping from wifi upstairs... Just doesn't have enough oomph.
Aww thank you libby, ur post means a lot to me and is good to know others have felt the same. I think ur right and exhaustion plays a part too. Im barely sleeping. Didnt sleep hadly at all last night and oh started snoring which yep annoyed the sh#t out of me, the beast in me wanted to smother him (i didnt just nudged him on to side)
The pains always worst at night after the injections but its not as unbearable as the first tax. I want to go back to work for routine and normality and to see people. My boss and work colleagues have been great and we not in busy season at mo so its not diff to go back in to work. I leave early some days too.
Goin to try and rest and stay calm today. If i could only eat and tast my fave foods that would help but got lard mouth still. Hopefully in few days things will return to normal. I do think im goin to do the last tax on my own tho so i can wallow without feelin guilty
Hope everyone is ok, hugs to all x
Today I've had my first steroids for this cycle, and cannot sleep, everyone else here is sleeping soundly! Thank goodness tomorrow's app isn't until 1.45pm.
Claire, I know lots of ladies on these forums suffered/are suffering with mood swings whilst on Tax, so your reaction is normal (I'm responding to your post on the 'Need positive posts about TAX' thread). I'm sure your OH and MIL realise it's the Tax, and not you giving them grief. Do you WANT to go back to work next week, or are you feeling guilty? I hope your employer isn't making things hard for you. I would be surprised if you are feeling well enough to go into work, but of course I hope you are, whatever you do, don't go to work if you feel in pain and fatigued etc, that would be detrimental to your health, and as you are putting yourself through your treatment plan there's no point in undoing some of the good by trying to run before you can walk. Be sensible! I hope you have an understanding boss.
You poor darling, don't be so hard on yourself. You must start by believing Tax is to blame not you, therefore the 'real you' will return and the irritable, angry, miserable feelings will pass in time. You know Clare, the fact you recognise you are being 'stroppy' is a positive as I'm sure not all of us do. So good on you.
I hate the effect the injections have and really feel for you having a double dose, but they are for your own good and keeping you out of Hospital and none of us want to be there! Have you explained to your OH and others why you are feeling angry etc? I do think that helps them to understand and deal with it. It certainly helped my OH, dau's and friends. Once I'd articulated my feelings they were more relaxed, as I think they were reaching the point where they didn't know what would tip me over, it helped me too, as I found I was able to laugh at what I thought were silly comments and tell them why I was laughing. They said they couldn't promise not to come out with other things which would make me feel cross, I said 'don't worry I know you mean well, afterall you've all been so kind and supportive'. Now, I never 'lose it' (well no more than before chemo), I just say 'you've done it again' and we all see the funny side.
I hope you waken this morning feeling more relaxed and in a better place, but if you don't do not beat yourself up, you are experiencing very normal emotions.
Good luck today Simone, it is a great feeling knowing today is victory day! I hope the S/E's aren't too bad. Well done and congratulations. Keep posting to let us know how you are.
Pat, it will soon be the 21st and you'll also reach victory day.
Teresa, I hope your chemo went well and hope you too have minimal S/E's.
Lizzy, although Tax is cruel you sound to be dealing pretty well with it. Sorry you had to go into Hospital, but glad you are not neutropenic. Is it phased return to work? Don't try to play the hero and do too much.
Hope everyone has a good day, with few S/E's.
Take care and rest when you can.
Clare, I can totally empathise with how you are feeling, Tax is vile but it is the gold standard of chemo and will hopefully rid you of the bloody Gremlin, so do try to look upon Tax as your friend albeit a friend giving you tough care. I too have found Tax S/E's very severe, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, my 4th and last Tax is tomorrow, and to be perfectly honest after my 1st Tax I didn't think I'd make it to number four, but I have - well almost. And you will too, and you will be proud of yourself, and your OH and family will be proud of you too.
I'm sorry your bloods are still low after five injections, gosh Clare another seven does sound awful. I have had 5 injections each cycle after all Tax infusions, my first cycle I felt desperate and seriously thought - no, no, no, I can't take anymore of this, I was in abject pain from top to toe even my jaw ached and I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to take solids, so lived on soup for a few days. My flu like symptoms started over the weekend, on the Monday I rang the Oncology Unit in desperation and they said most of the pain was due to the injections. They arranged to fax a prescription to my GP for stronger painkillers, do you have prescribed extra strong pain relief, if not do get some as they helped me a lot and my 2nd cycle was more bearable. I was advised to take painkillers BEFORE the onset of pain, my Tax was on Thurs and my aches started Sat night by Sunday I was in agony, so 2nd Tax I took painkillers on Sat morning.
Sorry Clare, I did intend writing more but my dau has just got back from her friend's and is driving back home to the south tomorrow.
Take good care, and I hope you feel better soon. I'll be back soon, and if you have any questions fire away.
Hope everyone else is OK.
Clare, sorry you are having such a crappy time. That's horrid to have to have so many injections. I'm really not liking this TAX compared to the FEC. Today I felt much better and managed to do the housework. I'm hoping to go back to work next week. I've still got a horrid mouth though...yuk!
Sissors, sorry I don't know anything about liver enzymes
Pat, the end of chemo is in sight...fantastic 🙂
Still feeling rubbish. Went to unit today to get bloods checked and they too low again....this TAX is bloody evil! So i have to have a further 7 injections on top of the 5 ive had. I said ill have another 5 but not 7, looking to go back to work mon/tues. Im so miserable and irritable and im sure a lot of that is to do with the tax as well.
Afternoon all, hope you are all ok and not suffering too muchxx.
Good luck to those having swamp juice in thenext few days. I see the onc on monday about my radiotherapy then final chemo on the 21st YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE.
Sissors sorry no advice to give about your liver enzymes. Have you rung the help line or GP and discussed it with them.
I'm having bad night sweats, feels like I am doing the hokie chokie all night.1st 1leg out then the other. Quilt on, quilt off.
Take care Pat xx
I haven't posted for ages so i hope you dont mind my asking a question. I was due for my 4th dose of FEC a couple of weeks ago but I managed to delay til 4th Jan as I was away for New year -great I thought a week off for the festivities.
However, i turned up on 4th jan for bloods and treatment, but results showed high liver enzymes so they sent me home with no chemo. I was assured that enzymes can sometimes take a little longer to settle so I waited a week and had blood tests again. Now I'm told the liver enzymes are even higher and still no chemo! Ill have missed a whole cycle and my hair has started to grow back!! It's nice to feel a bit normal again, but I just want to get it over with. Can the liver enzymes be getting higher without more chemo.... It's been over five weeks since my last dose and if I'm honest, I'm freaking out a bit that there migh be something wrong.
Hi ladies, temperature finally went down and after 4 hours in A & E am pleased that I'm not neutrophenic. I managed to get off my backside today and go for a stroll around a local reservoir which was nice.
Clare, hope you feel better soon
Teresa, good luck tomorrow
Simone, good luck for Thursday, last one yay 🙂
I have to be at the hospital at 9am tomorrow for an ECG...I think they have to do it before i have my fifth chemo. I'm thinking of taking up residence!
Just a quick one from me as feeling bit rubbish and weary.
Welcom diddie, glad chemno not been as bad as you anticipated. It is fear of the unknown sometimes. We all have had our low moments all part of it just gotta roll with it me thinks x
Simone - yay for last poisoning looming, hmm really dont advise drinking the stuff yuk! Hope the vein finding isnt too drawn out x
Teresa - great news that your neuts are back up so no more delays. Hope all goes well tomorro x
Hope everyone else ok, hugs to all x
Got the go ahead for tomorrow, neuts back up to 4.5, and getting GCSF next cycle as I hoped. Happy Days.
Be in touch in a few days, post FEC
Now then Octoberoonies and lovely dropper inners, hope you're not feeling too bad today. Chalked another 2 hours up at work today and then went and did a bit of shopping. Desperately trying to stay awake by doing little jobs around the house so I can sleep tonight!!!! Getting very giddy about my last lot of swamp juice on Thursday, but dreading them trying to find a vein to put it in, but I'm that desperate for it to be my last I'll drink the damned stuff if I have to, even though I'm sure that wouldn't be the way to go!!!!
Clare, may our naughty toe nails feel guilty together on a landfill somewhere!!! I've booked my jollies for end of April, can't wait, got my walking and riding boots at the ready, will just have to remember I can't go galloping on a horse just yet, so might just have to be a bit of a trot!!!
Go Judy, you can't beat a little naughty moment to make yourself giggle!!
Dizzy, like you say until you go through this treatment you just don't realise how debilitating it really is, but not only that how differently it hits each individual. I thought I was quite the toughy, and I was sure I could handle all this, first lot made me as sick as a sick thing from sick land, then my second lot I couldn't stop crying at the least little thing and so on and so on!!!! I found solace here when people were talking, shall we say nonsense and not boll**ks to be polite, which kept me sane and will never be able to thank all you ladies enough for that. Mums and others will always have their opinions and will generally get it wrong, let them and then tell us ((hugs)) xx
Lulu, glad you're home and hope you're catching up on some snoozing and glad the ECG was good news. Sadly I think Matt Lucas has the cute baby look down more than me!!! lol!
Lizzy, hope you start to feel better soon and the temp stays down xx
Libby, can't tell you how glad I am about this Thurs, I would compare myself to a Kipper who is super Giddy!! With you on the fitness levels, can't wait to get back out there doing more than a 1 mile walk without then needing a 1 day rest!!
Teresa, Good luck with the Onc tomorrow, and have a lovely long weekend away xx
((hugs)) to all that need them, Simone xx
Hi I started my chemo in October, was really terrified beforehand, I imagined I would get every side effect listed, I have had 4 sessions of AC and due to start Taxotere next week. I seem to have followed a pattern whereby the first 4/5 days after chemo are not so good,feelings of sickness being the worst but overall a feeling of fragilty,this usually improves for the last 2 weeks before my next session. I did have a very low day on my 2nd session, couldn't stop crying all day and thought I looked like a freak as my hair had started falling out. But the next day I felt so much better and asked my daughter to shave my head.I didn't realise this was the norm.
To be honest I haven't found the chemo as bad as I first thought although my main problem is horrible mouth ulcers,I seem to get one each month, with the the one I have just now is as bad as ever. I use the difflam mouthwash regularly and have tried the hydrocortisone pellets which don't seem to have any effect, also the other gels on the market. Does anyone have any other ideas I could try as this one is getting me down. Grateful Thanks Diane
Sorry you're feeling a bit rubbish Clare - hope the meds do their jobs and you feel better soon
Judy - did you see Beyonce has called her daughter Blue - she must have copied you!
Dizzy - hope your Mum finally sees sense, it's hard when you don't get the back-up you need from your family.
Lizzy - how's your temp? Hope it's come back down.
Lulu - hope the abs aredoing their job
Simone - hope work going OK and you are still napping for Britain!
I'm doing OK, still fed up at having been delayed for a week, seeing the onc tomorrow hopefully will get go-ahead for Wed or Thurs. Had bloods taken today at my surgery and they've gone up to the hospital. Also hoping to persuade him to give me G-CSF this time so that I don't get low neuts again - I really don't want any more delays. Then I have to ring my surgeon's secretary to book in a date for the Mx 😞 Then I will have dates and can sort out a long weekend away before the op with dh and the kids. Can't wait - sure the school can't complain about me taking them out of school for 2 days.
Hello PJ Posse
Judy - glad you are feeling a bit better x
Dizzycloud - glad your 4th went ok and vein finding wasnt too drawn out. Im sorry your mum isnt being more sympathetic that cant help but we all know the score x
Lulu - glad you out of hosp now and everything seems to be back on an even keel x
Lizzy - sorry about the TAX truck, its just starting hitting me too, its evil aint it, hope your temp came down and you avoided hosp x
Libby - thanks, im just starting to ache now and feel rubbish, tongue is starting to go white again but ive got more antifungal to take this time so hopefully it wont be as bad. My FIL was just down for weekend as he has to go back to work but MIL here till friday to look out for me bless her she is a gem. Im sure you will be going on them long walks before long x
Ive just sold my wedding dress on ebay this weekend, so a bit of extra money to go into our holiday fund for when this crap all over. Also got our telly on there which should sell today as we just upgraded our telly in the bedroom.
Hope everyone is ok x
Simone, it must have been you that my daughter saw, I don't recall seeing you but my daughter said I wouldn't as you were a couple of chairs down from me. Typical ain't it, we have last chemo same day but not same time, whereas before I knew you were having treatment at Bexley we were there same time. Best of luck Thurs, like me you must be so glad it's nearly all over.
Clare, I hope you are feeling better this cycle of Tax, not having awful S/E's. Are your inlaws still staying with you, they sound gems and I'm sure you'll have had lots of TLC.
Judy, it was good to hear you are feeling happier now. Looking forward to reading your 'wig story'. I too love your daughter's name, my husband is Italian and his cousin's daughter is called Azzurra, which translates as blue - I've always loved her name.
Dizzycloud, I hope your S/E's are minimal, it cannot be easy for you as a single parent as there will be things you just have to do. I'm sorry to hear your parents' aren't more sympathetic, their comments are unnecessary, as Lulu suggested it may help them to be more understanding if they read some of the threads here.
Lulu, pleased to hear you are home again and all's well. I hope you are still sleeping OK now you are home.
Lizzy, poor you. Tax can be vile, I hope you start to feel better soon. How's your temperature?
I went out today with my daughter to a couple of shops, she was looking for a coffee table, obviously I didn't walk very far just around the shop floors but it was so tiring, my legs ached and I was out of breath! I felt so unfit, I hope my fitness levels improve soon after my last chemo; I can't wait to be able to go on long walks again, for now they seem a distant dream.
I hope everyone had a good weekend with minimal S/E's.
Take care everyone.
Hi ladies, I've been a bit quiet as I have been hit by the TAX truck. I was doing ok with no nausea but now I feel like I'm about 90 and am exhausted. To make matters worse I have woken up with a temperature which the hospital just want me to monitor. Fingers crossed it will get better as I don't fancy a trip to A & E.
Hi ladies just catching up here..... Thanks for the support.... I got out of hosp last night and promptly fell asleep as even though I had a bay to myself I hardly slept in hosp.... Anyway my bloods and cultures were fine so the infection is just around the line and not in it.... So continuing on my oral abs.....
My pulse rate is high and I have complained about the 'palpitation' feeling since Chemo no1 but cos I get breathless too they wanted to rule out a clot but it is just the Chemo... So had to have ECG and other checks before they let me out.... But basically I'm fine! Yay!
Anyway judy Im glad you have turned a corner and the fun you is coming out to play now.... Love your daughters name by the way sooooo Cute!
DC well done now you have no 4 done and dusted hope the SEs aren't too bad.... But do take it easy..... And different chemos have different effects on different people.... Oral Chemo doesn't tend to be as debilitating as iv Chemo (generalisation!) but it depends on how it affects the person too.... Some people sail through Chemo and some folk get every SE imaginable but most folk are somewhere in between.... Just cos 1 guy happens to be fine doesn't mean that is the norm.... Maybe mum should have a look on these Chemo threads to actually see the reality of how debilitating chemo is for the majority of women with breast cancer and she might change her tune!
Clare glad you have another one out the way.... I also get the piriton and it just zonks me out on Chemo day and makes up for the lack of sleep the day before! Sorry to hear baby toenail has gone in search simones toenail at that big land fill sight butbi hope they find each other and are very happy together lol
Simone Im glad to hear you only had a two hour nap to recover from work yesterday and I do hope our enjoying your onesie/slipper sock combo for the weekend.... And I bet you look much cuter than George doors xxx
had 4th poisoning yesterday. Vein finding was remarkable quick but it was a shallow entry and when the needle went in, it hurt a lot. Once it was set up and needle removed the pain subsided. I am sure my mum thinks I am a wimp.
Judy - just read up on your fourth session and I must admit I felt like I didn't want to go on with the treatment just before my 4th session. I think for me the cumulative effects were getting to me. Nobody but people who have gone though it understand how knackered and generally horrible you feel all the time. My mum is a perfect example. She thinks I sould be back at work at least some of the time, and I am just swinging the lead. This upsets me deeply as I am a hard worker. The window cleaner happened to call yesterday and is undergoing treatment for bowel cancer. He has had radiotherapy and some oral chemo, but has to work as he is self employed and he has a supportive wife to help with kids and housework. I on the under hand am a single parent and have good sick pay (though not brilliant). My mum piped up "well look at him, he is working. You should go to work when you can to show willing...........". GRRR I am willing but my body and mind is unable.
My parents did help yesterday by putting up a new custain rail - my last one broke three months ago due to an over enthusiastic (and overweight) cat climbing my curtains and I have had only one curtain up in my lounge since then - another chemo CBA moment. My mum couldn't stand me only having one curtain, so they came to the rescue!
Simone - glad you are able to work a bit now. When I go back, I will be napping for England!. I struggle with getting up and then need at least two hours and three coffees before I can get dressed!
October Posse and especially Simone!!!!!
Well the tears have subsided, the glass is half full and my demon horns have popped up !!!!
Simone - boy I doubled up with laughter at the duvet and toe nail scenario and I can honestly say it is a delight to say all the girls 'get it'.
Clare - congrats another one down and I hope the pains are not too bad.
Libby, Lulu, Sue, Teresa and Alice - your kind words really touched me and gave me the pick up I needed - thank you to you all.
As I said earlier the horns have popped up and time to have some fun. My daughter Blue booked in the hairdresser to come and do her hair - she turned up and I was outside with my hat on and walked in and asked her if she could trim my hair as I had BC and was losing it - her face was a picture when I whipped off my hat to reveal a bald head with a few sprouting hairs.
Today I met Blue in Costa Coffee and as per normal had my hat on and it was really warm in there and I finally couldn't resist it and took my hat off - Woah did that cause a stir and I really didn't care much to my daughters shock but we just carried on - she knows she has a mad Mummy!!!!
Next installment the 'WIG' but I've got to go and feed the Horses so I will write it next time.
Keep the faith, freedom is coming and you are all awsome and big hugs to anyone who needs it and to the girls generally
Hi pj posse
Well my bloods came up a blinder so chemo went ahead yay! Again no adverse reactions so unlikely to have any on the last one i expect. Was out a bit earlier than expected but felt very sleepy from the piriton so had a lovely snooze on the sofa. MIL & FIL have now arrived and we had a nice chilli con carne dinner.
Another one down, hopefully have a couple of good days before the pains kick in.
Simone - i have also lost a toenail on my little to where my blood blister was from partying in stillettos at christmas. It doesnt hurt which i thought it would just looks a bit odd. Ive put it in the bin so it may join up with yours at the landfill haha
Right off to relax again, hugs to all x
Day 2 at work down, clocked up another 2 hours with just a 2 hour nap required this time, got a feeling there's a lazy weekend coming up!!! Can't beat a onesie and slippersock weekend, even if I do look like George Doors. heehee! She's a baby, she's a baby!!!
Hi Libby, I was at Bexley on 22nd, so your daughter was probably right and I usually have my little blonde aunty in tow!
At the risk of sounding like the Harry Enfield character "Poor Lulu", seriously though hope your infection clears up soon, gentle ((hugs))
Dizzy, get your parents working and doing your housework if they're going to turn up that early, bless 'em or drop some serious hints that you just need to relax before going. My aunt takes me for my swamp juice sessions and she has this paranoia about being late for things and likes to turn up at least an hour early for things so I had to get a bit tough and say okay but you then have to take me for a cuppa somewhere first. It's hard as you don't want to upset them when they're doing something kind for you, but I'm sure they want what's best for you more than anything, good luck xx
Hope everyone has minimal se's this weekend, Simone xxx
Lulu - sorry you are in hospital again.
Clare - good luck with your chemo session today. Having mine too. re - the veins, they put a heated mat on my arm each session, but still struggle to find one. Hoping todays session will be a good vein finding one and it only takes them 10 to 15 minutes!. I discussed my nausea when taking the anti-sickness tablet with my chemo nurse and she said I could have the tablets IV this time - why don't they offer this all the time?? I can't imagine anyone liking the tablet FGS!!
My parents come to take me for chemo but this means they turn up 4 hours before I am due at the hospital and I find I can't relax. Much as I love them, I wish they would give me a bit more time to myself before they come. I find myself racing round the house the day before tidying up and cleaning. I am behind on housework due to schools starting back late and my house looks like a bombsite. I suppose it would help if I did more housework in the two weeks before but I feel so crap, nothing gets done!
Take care Lulu, you have been such a great help, motivating and inspiring, i really hope you get the break that you deserve xxx
Oh lulu, so sorry youve had to go in hosp, wishing you a peaceful night sleep if you do have to stay and hope infection clears up soon x
I read your posts most nights and find them very informative and helpful.
Just want to say sorry you are in hosp again. Hope you feel better soon.
Thanks for all your posts
Well Hickman site got even more red swollenand oozing but still no temp. Phoned oncall Onc reg and now resident on ward 15 waiting to get bloods and more swabs done and might have to stay in for ivabs.
Didn't see that coming this afternoon when I first posted.
One good thing is I'm the only patient in this bay as the ward had to relocate this evening because of storm damage and flooding so have farmed out most of their patients so pretty much got the place to myself.... So if I do have to stay at least I won't get woken by buzzers and snoring! I hope!
Teecass another great poem. I am extremely untalented when it comes to poetry but since having cancer I discovered i can paint and draw.
Simone sorry today was so tiring you just need to take it easy hunny and take all those long naps cos you must need them.
Libby - good luck with your apointments and yay for last tax coming up, i cant wait to be there! Hope the last one doesnt cause you any problems. Re the sleep, im on my third week, having TAX2 tomorrow (providing bloods come back up) but sleep just eludes me and when i do i wake every couple of hours. I have also started aching last couple of days BEFORE the next tax, whats that about? lol
And so my Hospital appointents continue on and on ..........
Tomorrow is my pre - op assessent, Monday Clinic appoinent, and Thurs last Tax.
Simone, my appointment on Thurs is 1.45pm so I'll probably miss you, which is a shame. My daughter saw your pic on here and thinks she recognises you from my last chemo on 22nd Dec @ 1.15pm, were you at the Bexley Wing at that time?
Lizzy, your new pic is lovely, you so suit your headwear.
Teecass, a great poem.
Lulu, poor you, I do hope the infection clears up soon, as if you don't have enough discomfort without this.
Clare, I'm the same on Tax - I don't sleep well for the first week after infusion but then the next two weeks I struggle to keep awake.
Simone - nowt wrong with catching some zzzz when you need them, have to go with what your body needs, im jealous though, i cant sleep for toffee at the moment. glad you making good use of that delete button hehe and i do not mind at all if you print off my poem, nice to know they it may help, feel like ive given something back for all the chuckles youve given me x
Hey Ladies, well my first day back at work was interesting!!! Managed a whole 2 hrs before having to go home and have a three and a half hour nap!!!!!! Still I managed to clear the 520 e-mails that were waiting for me, how I love a good delete button!!!!
Dizzycloud, nice to see you back
Clare and Teecass, poems are so poignant, hope you don't mind but gonna print them and stick them up on my noticeboard
Lulu, hope the infection clears up real soon
Lizzy, loving the new picture
Hope everyone has a restful evening, Simone xxx