Morning Ladies - no more injections for me so hoping to feel a vast improvement soon. Need to work on my bad temper more than anything as I'm as grumpy as hell. Think a lot of it is due to not eating and yesterday the district nurse gave me a leaflet adivsing re food fortifiaction - eg making drinks more nourishing by adding double or clotted cream and making smoothies with bananas, ice cream malted milk powdre and honey - all the naughyt things that I'll have to avoid once weight back to normal!
Sherly -hopefully it sounds as though they couldn't possibly fit in another 2 sessions of chemo before your op. So glad for you that they've brought it forward and I'm sure you'll need a bit of recovery time prior to op to get your blood cells in a good position to aid recovery. Have you got an appt before the surgery on the 16th ? I am seeing the sugeon on the 10th Sept and will have a lot of questions to ask about next op. I wanted to get a bit more info before this appt so phoned the helpline on this site - first time I've done this- and the nurse was really helpful and knowledgeable. She's posting me out a booklet first class, discussed my history and options, talked about surgery,rads and reconstruction and the choices of endocrine therapy. Must have been on the phone for an unhurried half and hour so would thoroughly recommend a call if anyone has any queries.
Glad your last chemo over Zonda - it's so encouraging that we are all getting through this and beginning to think of future plans. I play a lot of badminton but think it may be quite some time before fit enough for that - stairs seem a monumental achievement at the mo !
Ruth, I hope the next few weeks wizz by for you and the end is in sight. I was put on Tamoxifen 11 years ago and had to take it for 5 years. It did plunge me into menopause and I got all the horrible menopausal sysmptons but I don't think they were any worse than other friends were going through quite naturally. I had no other probs with it and only wish in hindsight that I'd have been able to stay on it longer as it kept cancer out of my life dutring that time.
Linda, hope your meeting goes well today. Your holiday sounded a bit fraught at the start but hopefully the rest of it was realxing. Clotted Cream is on my shopping list - at least now I can say it's for medical purposes!
Have a good afternoon everyone, Gill X
Yippee!! I had my last chemo yesterday. Soo happy it is finished. My veins can leave the inner depth of my arm and return to the surface. My hair can grow back. No more constipation/diarrhea. The welcome return of taste. Oncologist told me the pins and needles won't go for several months though and my eye sight has deteriorated slightly. Hopefully, I can start to lose the wieght I have put on. I have missed exercising as I used to be quite active and I can get back in touch with my horse, something I have missed terribly.
However, I will have surgery at the end of September, which I don't mind in the least, and radiotherapy about 5 weeks after that for 5 weeks. Oncologist wants me to start on tamoxifen on October 1. It seems as though there is no end in sight to the treatment but at least the chemo is over. Next week my son is having surgery on his knee and I should be just about finished side effects enough to look after him.
Hang on in there everyone. There is an end to the chemo for everyone.
Wax2014, I am so pleased that you visited Fowey and liked it 🙂 Yes the main carpark is quite a feat to get too up those hills ! We usually stay along the esplanade and the property has parking thankfully 🙂
It is interesting that you mention hot flushes, I have recently been experiencing these the past 3 days..I thought I was coming down with a cold that my two daughters have had, I was literally dripping with perspiration and having to sit in front of a fan. I have my weekly Taxol tomorrow, it is number 7, so when it is over I will be able to say there are less in front of me with the remaining 5 to go.
I also have been struggling to find a drink I enjoy as my taste buds are so weird lately and as a result keep ending up dehydrated.
GMC - I wish you luck with your bone scan, I also had to have a 2nd ct scan as a nodule was showing on my right lung, but it hasn't changed in size so the docs don't appear overly concerned. It originally showed up on a scan I had done a few years back and stayed the same size which is encouraging.
I hope everyone continues to get on with their treatment without too much angst. Mine finishes on October 7th, then I have a 3 week gap before 5 weeks of Radiotherapy at Mount Vernon, but I begin Tamoxifen before then and I keep hearing and reading horror stories about night sweats and hot flushes.I have always been a 'hot' person anyway and even in winter I only have a 4 tog duvet ! xx Ruth xx
Hello Ladies hope you are all Ok and feeling as well as can be expected.
I'm back after an eventful break in Cornwall.. nice to get away but the curse of 2014 seems to follow us everywhere ! Got to the rented cottage on Monday unpacked and went for a look around in the local village on the way back bellowing smoke from under the car bonnet, needless to say Tuesday morning it was on the way back to Birmingham courtesy of the AA !! We were left with either going home with it or stuck trying to fathom out how we'd get around or get home. Luckily for us the owners were on site in the Farmhouse behind the cottage and took us into Bodmin to hire a car and saved the holiday...
Ruth in honour of you we went to Fowey.. you forgot to mention that the main car park is up a very steep hill.. I didn't realise how out of condition I am as I had to stop to catch my breath on a few occassions.that said It is a lovely place full of nice shops to look round. I also treated myself to a cream tea in Polpero which was lovely.
Back home and at work , see my boss again for another meeting on Thursday which I will assume is when I'll get my redundancy notice as it's a month since the consulatation started.. Hey Ho.. Just another hurdle but starting to accept it and trying to look on the bright side.
Gill, glad that you have finished your chemo as well, I am nearly five weeks on and feeling better although the hot flushes are a real problem at night and my taste is back but different in some ways as I still get a strange taste in my mouth from time to time.
Keep smiling... Linda xxx
Hope everyone is feeling as well as possible. I had my last chemo yesterday so once the next couple of weeks have passed I hope to feel a bit more excited than I do now! I think because I sometimes read on this forum what the other ladies are going through who are a month or two ahead of us I realise that the side effects don't always disappear that quickly and they are as up and down as we are here sometimes. Think I may need to put myself on the Sulky Step.Probably a lack of sleep last night has made me extra grumpy! I have got sleeping pills and I should have taken one as steroids do keep me awake - although strangely they didn't at the start of my chemo. I'm just a bit worried that I could come to rely on them and sleeping has never been a problem for me before.
Got an appointment for another bone scan in a couple of weeks.I think it's because prior to my op in March a bone scan showed a mark on one of my ribs so they said they would re-scan in 6 months to keep an eye on it.
I'm going to sign off now in a more positive light having unloaded my concerns. It will be so lovely not to have to have another chemo and I'll be so pleased when we are all through with it.
Enjoy your weekend everyone, Best wishes, Gill x
Thanks for your support at such a difficult time for all of us.
I do find myself wondering what I have done to have so many horrible things happening to my family in one year? I also find myself getting resentful watching othe rpeople getting on with their lives, happy, going on cruises and abroad. I was looking forward to afternoon tea at a local manor house, with a friend and now I have to cancel that to be there for my girls at the moment, but they are more important right now.
I have also gone from eating next to nothing to eating loads of comfort food but it all tastes horrible due to my taste buds,,,ah well ! xx Ruth xx
I quite agree with your comments Sheryl. I think we're all entitled to have a rant every now and then and this is the ideal place to let off steam as we DO all understand how very hard this is at times - especially when other problems are running alongside too. I had a lovely day out today but coming home a sad song was playing on the radio and I totally lost it! My emotions are all over the place and I do think a lot of it is down to the Tax.
Sheryl, if you get your boots out no-one will have a clue how short your jeans are !
Good luck for Tuesday Ruth and hope you'll have a couple of better days and that your family problems start to get a little easier soon.Linda, I hope your work isn't too tricky next week. It's almost as though someone is throwing as much crap at us at once to see how we cope!!!!
We will all get through this, have a good evening ladies, Gill x
I feek ashamed moaning about my treatment when some of you are going through so much more than i 😞
I think for me, I am struggling with some horrendous family problems, my older daughter has had a breakdown, she admits my parents being unwell and outwardly staying strong during my treatment has taken its toll on her. My younger daughter has depression and anxiety and is on meds for it, but is very up and down and we only found out that she self harmed throughout her time at senior school...so for 7 years, due to bullying ( which we knew about and we were addressing with the school at the time ) Shes now at uni and much happier but the spectres remain and the after effects too. My sister has also been off work since our parents crisis began last May and is presently receiving counselling. I think as a family we have been lucky over the years with health, but its all happened in the space of one year for us.
So forgive my negativity and I hope all your treatment continues to do well, I have Taxol number 6 this coming Tuesday and I do find emotionally I am much more up and down than when I was on FEC . XXRuth xx
I agree emotions are one of the hardest things we try to control and the chemo, tablets etc make this worse. The dark moments creep in when you least expect them but when they do it's hard to shake them off. I don't think until you go through all this that you can fully understand the timescale of treatment and it's effects, were all in it for the long haul. Initially after coming to the decison that I would stop chemo I was upbeat and feeling happier with the situation, then bang throw in some of life's extra's ..issues with my mother, Ian's dad sufferng with his arthritis which leaves him housebound, c**p at work and I'm in tears!! Back to square one worrying about treatment, getting to and from radiotherapy , not being able to find work whilst undergoing treatment and finances. Then I know (hopefully) next year I will have a further Mastectomy to the right side as Lobular cancer has a tendancy to be bilateral. My choice I know but I would have had to have the right side lifted anyway.. but still more surgery.. it just seems overwelming and never ending.I know I am not alone with life's extra's and the added stress as many of you are going through similar issues.
So keep talking and posting it helps to share frustations / worries and fears with other ladies that truely understand, I really don't know what I'd do without this support. Linda xx
PS Redundancy is a foregone conclusion, nothing I say makes any difference even Macmillian say they see it all the time as discrimination is so hard to prove and employers know this !!
I hadn't realised that you won't be starting your chemo til the New Year. You are doing so very well to cope with such a long course of treatment - especially when quite a lot of people are getting to the end of theirs. Hopefully we'll all still be able to share our highs and lows for as long as it takes and is needed. Really like the idea of all meeting up next year. Congrats too on your son's exam results - you must be so proud.
I haven't a date as yet for surgery. I imagine that I will have an appointment with the consultant once the chemo is finished. I really want to discuss my options fully with him as he did suggest a reduction on the other breast at the same time as he removes yet more of the problem breast so that I have a matching pair. Not really sure that I want this now as will have yet more scars!
My emotions on Docetaxol have been very up and down. I keep a diary of it all and on both the last 2 cycles I have spent days 5,6,7,& 8 being tearful, hysterical at times and a right old pessimistic misery. However I feel better after letting it out - not sure the rest of the family do!
Day 14 now so feeling so much better and almost human again!
All the best ladies, Gill
This is such an emotional time for all of us and I'm sure each and every one of us have harboured dark thoughts along the way. Ruth, I'd love to say something to help you feel a bit more hopeful for the future as I fully understand where you are coming from but I think we all have to face our demons our own way-. I also think that at the beginning of chemo we are so centred on dealing with the unknown ,the chemo and all its side effects that it's only towards the end when we look towards the next treatments and the future that the next set of worries kick in. Good news the the mole isn't a cuase for further worry. Speaking personally I still have a long way to go even though nearing the end of my chemo - further surgery despite prior surgery to remove lump (didn't get it all as far larger than they thought) and then radiotherapy. I belive you too are having surgery followed by rads, Sheryl . We'll be on this forum for some time to come!!!
Sheba, good luck tomorrow and hope you find the SE more bearable this last time.
Linda , have a great holiday and let us know how your meeting with the boss went.
Sheryl, have a great time away and don't worry about the weight too much. Maybe we need a bit of extra to have the strength to cope with it all. Although I'm always happy with my body after losing a few pounds mid chemo cycle and fitting into trousers I couldn't previously do up comfortably! Goes back on quickly enough!
Have a good evening everyone ,
Sorry to hear you are having down moments, I have also been feeling low and short tempered lately.
You all seem to be nearing the end of your chemo and moving onto your Radio therapy. I still have 7 weeks of weekly Taxol to complete and this is after 4 x 3 weekly sessions of FEC ! I then move onto 5 weeks of Radiotherapy mid October which will take me to nearly the end of November . I saw the surgeon consultant Tuesday because of the mole that had appeared but he didn't seem overly concerned. He booked my mammogram for March 24th 2015 which seems an age away plus near my next birthday, which is when I found out I had breast cancer this year. I was rather hoping I would have 1st mammogram after all treatment had finished much sooner in order to move on with life from the begiining of 2015 😞
I must admit I have had lengthy discussions with hubs about if this mammogram is not clear and what I would want to happen next, as I have no desire for more surgery and another year ruined with loads of treatment again. I have always said before this happened that if I was struck down with a debilitating illness in life I would seriously consider Dignitas, so we shall have to see and hope ! xxRuth xx
just read through the last couple of weeks posts hope everyone is ok. I am due my final FEC on friday and I can honestly say I am terrified it will be as bad or worse than the last one. I still don't really feel recovered it knocked me sideways I have slept so much over the last three weeks and I can't really settle to anything. I almost can't be bothered to even talk to people and I find my mind just zoning out of everything.
Have to see the oncologist just before my treatment to find out about the radio therapy etc. I can honestly say I really feel low at the moment and am having serious mood swings and doing more worrying than I did when I was first dignosed it is beginning to sink in that I have had cancer and what that means. I am finding it really hard to be optimistic and wish the medics could reassure me on a daily basis. Maybe this is part of the side effects of the treatment hopefully once this one is over I will feel better.
Just catching up on posts and I'm sorry to hear that the 'grumps' have set in on your latest treatments. I feel a bit out of it at the moment as I have now finished my chemo journey but I'll do my best to keep your spirits up if I can. I am just over three weeks since my last chemo and I am starting to feel much better in myself and happier. That sense of humour does return !!! I am still very tired at the end of the day and if I do too much it really catches up with me, perhaps I am just expecting to much. We went out for the day at the weekend and enjoyed the jousting at Warwick Castle (thank heavens for Tesco Vouchers - would have been dissapointed if we'd paid £31 each to get in & £6 parking !! ) It's nice to have time on our own but I do miss Jemma. She is keeping in touch with us and apparently the bag count is now up to 6 !!! She's home on Sunday and we can then all go on our holiday's to Cornwall at last. I just hope the weather holds out.
I am supposed to be having another meeting today with my boss re upcoming redundancy, but as usual he's been here since 8.30am and I'm still waiting !! I am taking the stance that it hasn't happened yet and I will worry about finances etc nearer the time, I haven't room for that to upset me at the moment.
I had a call from the Coventry Hospital yesterday to confirm my radiotherapy planning for the 10th Sept so will be back on the treatment treadmill for five weeks.
Sending you all gentle hugs, hang on in there xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
GMC - Thank you for your good wishes re parents situation, it is hard and been going on now since May, it has taken its toll on my 3 siblings and I as well as our family units .
Sodastream - I know what you mean regarding drinking, I am struggling to find a drink that I enjoy as my taste buds are so weird these days, so I know I don't drink enough either 🙂 I am also grumpy these days and find I wonder if people sometimes forget what we are going through , as they act so normal around me, yet thats what I asked them to do ! So I know I am being unreasonable as they cannot win !
The girls BBQ went well, hubs and I sat upstairts out of the way and the rain held off, they just have the clearing up to do this morning now :)) xx Ruth xx
Similar experience here Sheryl - asked Ian to buy me a couple of magazines and he came back having bought the only magazine I get delivered regularly . I also had no sense of humour ! I also agree that this Tax is more obviously poisoning our bodies.I definately feel worse for longer but appreciate the good days far more. Afternoon tea in Guildford sounds fab - at least by then we'll both have a sense of taste !!
Hope your BBQ's are good fun and at least it sounds like you've chosen the better of the two days weatherwise this weekend.Also hope your parent's situations get easier eventually Ruth.
All the best ladies, Gill x
Posting you a sense of humour as requested 🙂
I have a houseful for a BBQ this evening too, our younger daughter is having her local friends round as she goes back to uni in Plymouth on 1st September, so shes got 7 round, our older daughter will be here with her b/friend too 🙂
I find everything I eat tastes horrible at the mo but at least I am not running to the loo all the time on Taxol !
I am finding life stressful with my dad back at his home after his broken hip, hes very demanding and although my sister has moved in with him, hes hard work, not very grateful and very stubborn, so hes stressing us out, whereas our mum who is a sweethheart is adapting to life in her care home. But life goes on and I try to find positives each day 🙂 xx Ruth xx
Hi Ladies thanks for all your support and encouraging comments re the mole thing.
I am presently having chemo at a private hospital nearby, but once the chemo finishes, I will have reached the ceiling of our private health cover, therefore, for the Radiotherapy I am being switched to an NHS hospital. My oncologist is based at Mount Vernon in North London, so he said it made sense for me to swap to that NHS hospital to still be under his guidance rather than begin again with another oncologist at a more localised hospital, so I was happy to go with his advice 🙂
One day we wil all beable to say all oru treatment has finished !
xx Ruth xx
Morning Ladies - another wet start here in Hampshire and I can feel it's cooler on my naked head!
Ruth - sorry you have the added worry re this mole. Fingers crossed for good news next Tues. It seems most of us are in this for the long haul. My last chemo should be sept but then further surgery and radiotherapy. I will be going to Guildford for the latter so plan to do my Christmas shopping whilst there! Need to get something useful out of it!
Sheryl- congrats to your daughter, you must be very proud. Maybe have a delayed glass of bubbly in a few days when you feel more like it. Hope you don't feel too bad after your first Tax - I'm starting to ache a little less but the mouth, bowels and fatigue starting to get me down. Thankfully I haven't got to work like you Linda. Reading about your work probs makes me wonder if you should investigate if they have a Grievance Proceedure. Usually the threat of that puts the fear of God into the bosses as chances are they haven't followed the structure of the redundancy route to the letter. Another alternative is to contact a Union. You don't have to be a member initially to get some advise and if they do request you to join it's only a few pounds a month til you get sorted.I worked for years in Banking and Fraud Investigation and the Union was very useful at times. You shouldn't have to fight this on your own , especially in your weakened state.
Hope everyone has a reasonable day
Best wishes, Gill
Hi Ruth, sorry it's difficult to remember who's where with treatment, I too will have five weeks of radiotheraphy and have to travel to coventry which is about an hour each way, I'm not looking forward to that either ! I have been told that the planning meeting will be about second week in Sept so I am assuming I'll start at the beginning of October?? I suppose it depends very much on how busy they are, Coventry serves the whole of Warwickshire to I can imagine that they will be. It's quite silly really as the brand new QE hospital just outside Birmingham does Radiotheraphy and I can get there in 20 minutes but because it's covered by a different health authority I cannot get refferred there.
I hope you get your mole sorted, as Sheryl says they are being very pro active with your appointment so try to take comfort from that, easy to say I know, any additional worry is too much.
I too have been experiencing a painful boob, I had a mastecomy with implant reconstruction and the pain was worse just after chemo and then got better but since the last sesson it has stayed with me and some days the implant seems harder.. I should have mentioned this to the oncologist but as usual there was so much to discuss I forgot !
Sheryl , I have opened up to another collegue this morning and it does help but there are only three of us in this office anyway and I'm not sure is there's "Ear's" passing on information, so I try not to say too much but I am gathering information as I go...just in case. I'm glad your daughters exam results were good , the cream cakes sound a good way to celebrate!
Rest up and enjoy the rest of the day xxxx
I had my 4th Taxol on Tuesday, unfortunately my finish line isnt looming Wax2014, my weekly doses don't finish until October 7th, then I go straight into 5 weeks of Radiotherapy travelling every day to a london hospital instead of the present one 20 minutes away, so my treatments won't finsh until end of November.
Interestingly, a raised brown mole has appeared on the boob that I had no cancer in and the breasts care nurse wasn't happy with the look of it, so shes brought my surgeon consultant follow up appointment forward from 9th September to next Tuesday, for him to have a look. Does anyone still get discomfort in the boob they had a lumpectomy in at all? I do So I am worrying what this new find is all about now, they said not to worry but its difficult not too. I said to hubs I can't tolerate anymore surgery at this present time so lets just hope its a lesion caused by treatment which is possible apparently.
Hope everyone else is doing ok xx Ruth xx
Good Morning Ladies,
Great news for those who have finished their chemo 🙂 I am off to the hospital today for number 4 of 12 Taxol.
GMC - Thanks for explaining SE , I was being a bit dumb I think 🙂 There are so many treatment plans out there that are tailored to each individual, no wonder I get confused 🙂
I am not sure how much longer I will have the cold cap as my head hair is thinning out alot now, so I will have it shaved soon .
Keep it going ladies ! xx Ruth xx
Glad to hear you had a really imformative discussion with your oncologist and were able to make decisions about your future treatment. It must be such a relief to know that you haven't got to go through another debilitating chemo session and can now build up your strength again without it being knocked down again by yet another dose of poison! I hope you sleep well tonight .x
Happy Birthday Sheryl -hope you have a good day without too many bone pains. I do agree that you have a clearer head on Tax . Sounds like you have had some lovely gifts. I don't know Careys Manor spa in the New Forest. Have you been before and if so is it somewhere you'd recommend?
So far my feet and bone pains have been no-where near as severe as same time last session so really hoping the 20 % reduction in the dose is suiting me better.
Linda, hope you cope OK at work. It is truly awful that they can make you redundant when you are going through so much right now. Good luck with oncologist meeting . Hopefully you've heard from your daughter on holiday and can relax knowing she's having a good time and being looked after too.
Carol- you have my sympathies with your tax experience.Hope the meds make it easier for you this time round.
Ruth - you've had such an awful time with your stomach probs that it's a delight to hear that it is so much better for you on Taxol. It will be so good for you to build your strength up now. If I'm reading this in the right context SE I believe is short for side effects.
Have a good day ladies, Best wishes Gill X
I am reading you all talking about treatment that I don't know anything about ! I
am now on 12 x weekly doses of Taxol, but I don't know what is meant by SE? Also I am only on one tablet following this treatment for 2 days, then the rest of the time I don't take anything? I am so much bette ron this weekly Taxol treatment, now eating normally and resumed normal life, compared to the 3 months I spent as a hermit near a toilet whilst on Fec.
I have Taxol number 4 tomorrow, then can come home and say I am now a third of the way through my chemo as it will be 8 doses to go. I think I will find 5 weeks of Radiotherapy overwhelming through, when that begins in October.
Keep your peckers up ladies ! Love Ruth xx
I hope your next treatment goes well and many happy returns for Monday, I hope you have a nice day and get spoilt 🙂 It was on my birthday back in March that I had to ring for my biopsy results.
Its good you are getting support from a psychologist, mental support has not been offered to me at all, although Iain Rennie a local cancer support group ring me once a fortnight to see how I am doing, my doctor gave them my info. I am also lucky that I have a great network of pals who have been my rock throughout along with my daughters and husband, my close family ar eon their knees coping with all that is going on with our poorly parents at present. I am a bit bemused by one pal who has been a good friend for 23 years, she has just stopped contacting me altogether...I guess some people just cannot cope with the big C and the ongoing treatments, but I am finding it very hurtful and not sure what to do about it?
I hope everyone else is doing ok and that you all have a nice weekend 🙂
Love xx Ruth xx