That Mauritius trip sounds really good... if I (like LaineG) win millions we'll definately do it. I warn you though that with my luck I'd win so little we'd all end up in the Broadway Hotel in Blackpool...
Ladies all your comments are so true and powerful in respect of out mortality. None of us know whats around the corner just look at our experiences already it may sound cliche but you do really have to appreciate each day! Im not sure how you shake off that constant dread or fear that you have and will have for years to come my onco did number crunching and came up with two senarios? One better than the other! Im willing to take my chances and have decided to put the percentages to the back of my mind many people have kindly mentioned "oh well you never know what's going to happen, you could cross the road and get run over" ... helpful!!! As many of you have said, you like me know people that have survived and sadly those that didn't. It certainly is a very emotive disscussion. Just a thought when going through the chemo ... A young lady I know in her 30s has just completed treatment she lost her mum 8 years ago to the dreaded BC her aunie was diagnosed same time as her mum and is still alive today. Her mum didnt have chemo (I don't know why) her auntie did.
Be kind to your yourselves big love and lots of hugs XXX
I had my third FEC yesterday and so far se have been minimal apart from a poor night's sleep which is only to be expected. Think it will hit me on Sunday though as I come off the steroids then. I have lost so much hair that the cold cap really hurt me this time - what I have left is so thin . I think there is a good chance I will lose it all this cycle
The best I could get on a prognonsis was the Registrar on Monday who said to me "we are confident that this treatment will give you the best chance, that in five years time you will have no problems or issues with this cancer" - not entirely sure what to make of that!
I hope you are all recovering well and the se are minimal today.
Sorry a bit tired to reply to everyone individually, but you are in my thoughts.
About periods – a friend of mine who was having monster periods (not on chemo) was given tranexamic acid tablets which stop the bleeding. Have you seen anyone about it? Obviously your GP and oncologist would need to discuss what’s safe during chemo, but hopefully there is something they can give you to help.
As for fear of recurrence. I have yet to find a healthcare professional who will level with me about “the future”. I find it too scary to think about not making it to the 2, 5 or 10 year marks, but at the same time I think I have become somewhat used to the realisation (with my diagnosis/grade etc) that even at best I probably won’t make it to state pension age in 20+ years (68 for me – can you believe it???) let alone my previous goal of achieving “cantankerous old lady” status like my 87 year old mum.
I know ladies who have lost the battle in very short periods of time, but I also have a good friend who had treatment over 20 years ago and is having a great retirement now. Like Jingo, the grim reaper has tried to get me before (car accident 5 years ago) so whilst in dark moments I’m terrified and tearful about the future, I also know that I don't want this horrible C thing to be the defining factor for the rest of my days.
In fact sometimes I feel that it is strangely freeing – we’ve always had lots of “we’ll do it later” plans, and most revolved around waiting until retirement. But now, well, it feels like we have permission to just get on with doing stuff we’d most likely never get round to doing otherwise. If only we could win the lottery to pay for it all...
Bettypoppit - I have been there so many times since my diagnosis. My primary tumour was so huge at 15cm and with lymph nodes involved my basic prognosis just didnt feel good. In the months that passed I was told it had already spread to my bone (I have a tumour on my sacrum that lit up on my bone scan), and then after a few weeks the doctors decided they weren't sure. Whilst measuring up my big tumour a tiny 7mm tumor was found on my other breast - different cancer.
So here is where I am - if I had found my big tumour any earlier, 1yr, 2yr, 3yrs ago this little tiny tumour would be my recurrence, so I now think that this is my bit of good luck. None of my tumours showed on mammograms. I need to decide by February whether to have my remaining breast removed. I want to - I am done with these breast things!
My uncertain secondary diagnosis is better than certainty as far as I can see, but I won't know until next summer whether it is or isnt secondary because they are not planning to scan me again until then. If it is a secondary spread then I will have to take it as it comes and hope for the best.
I have decided that by having chemo I am luckier than ladies who don't need chemo and then get a recurrence. Maybe I am wrong but surely we are fighting these cells with the best tools available? So I see chemo as a bit of a privilege if you like?
Lastly I have decided that if I spend all my time worrying about recurrence and or secondaries then the life I am fighting for will be wasted already. Treasure every day and take it as it comes. I was run over and almost killed when I was 9 and nearly drowned 7 years ago, so I always feel lucky to be here!
Try not to spend your precious energy worrying too much about the future, we can't control it, so use your energy to help you now when you need it most.
Not sure any of that will cheer you up but just wanted you to know that you can reach a point quite soon where you don't keep worrying about recurrence.
Hi Murphy. Like you I am sticking with FEC. Originally it was to be FEC T but was mentioned changing it before my 2nd and confirmed at my appointment just before my 3rd. Maybe that is why no injections. I am having my chemo at Ayr but the Beatson Oncologists do the clinics there. I am going to have to ask more about it and find out why. My reaction to steriods was mentioned but they don't seem to be any worse than some of the reactions I have heard of others having. Oh well off to spend the night with Series 2 of The Good Wife.xxx
Hi Ladies. Starting to feel a bit left out here. Why no injections for me?? Can't see green cheese go past me!!! Probadly had my best first post FEC day yet but am frantically touching wood as I type this.Not been great but do-able. Just managed a short walk with the dog. My son came with me as we were out in the pitch dark in the field behind the house and I don't think he fancied searching for me in the dark if I collapsed. The dog had other ideas however and headed home after five minutes ( big fearty). Translation, means he is a wimp. Hope everybody has a good nights sleep. I don't do so well with the steriods so Netflix will probadly get a hammering tonight.xxx
anx56 I think all my scars hurt more just after treatment. I dont think I am imagining it and I have 4 in total as I had different surgeries on both side. I think they also get redder and more swollen after treatment so you probably are experiencing tightness/soreness as well I would imagine.
I think if you can get in the physio system it is useful. i only see my guy in my 3rd week so we time it for when I am feeling up to it. It will be a slow process but I can't imagine that it makes much sense to wait until the end of treatment.
Massaging all my scar tissue an numb bits every day at home has really helped - it is a desensitisation thing so as you get better at massaging and start being a little firmer on your self I think you do lose some of that soreness - I certainly have. I was worried I might never use my arm again properly but managed to pick my 6 yr old up today for the first time since 16th July so that felt like quite a moment.
feeling knackered this afternoon and those tears seem to be coming back again...starting to blame the injections as fatigue and tears came with them last time!
have a good evening ladies xx
Hello lovely ladies!
Had bad day yesterday but picked up today I had three ops in 3 months so want t chat about the physio thing, but, first of all has anyone had problems with tighteneing and soreness of the scar area a few days after chemo BCN said it was a coincidence but its so sore tight and uncomfortable. Was told I would get offered physio but never received an appointment when I queried it was told ah you have enough appointments at the moment do you really want anymore?
Zelda I think your right its best to try not too think about it, one day at a time!
Peta How are you feeling now? How's your exercising going are still able to keep up with it with treatment. Hoping your sore vein is much better have you tried a warm water bottle on it after treatment?
Lainie G Glad to hear yur back home now but sorry t hear that your not well enough and your treatment delayed - the injections do help boost you up hopefully you will get back on track soon its mad when it comes to asking for the poison!x
Junash sorry to hear the fec 3 hit you its the pants! With the taste thing have you tried sucking milk lollies / ice pops during chemo? I had an awful metal taste first time round, the nurse suggested it to me and I tried it and I have to say this time I have hardly noticed the bad taste. I just took them in in a flask and sucked them slowly over the treatment time.x
Bettypoppit How are you doing this time apart from the chemo brain? I would certainly eat when you can and not feeling nauseous x
Lah 21 Did you manage the journey okay to the third fec? I have the injections day 5 to 10 and although get back pain as a se they do help alot x
GeeG loving the wig stories its the way you tell em!!! Hope your coping x
Jingo Linzz AM driver and anyone I accidently missed (Apologies) hope treatments are going well, think as others have said we are all amazing !
Take care lovely ladies love and hugs XXXXXX
There exactly the same as mine Lah 21 and agree with all you said they dont hurt and pre loaded so there easy to do. x
not been on for a bit with one thing and another on day 9 of 2nd fec and started feeling normal well as normal as can be no more nausea the wrist bands really helped this time ! im so fed up of bloomin periods ive had one for 2 weeks and had 2 days where it stopped and was hopeful and now started again this afternoon, this is getting me more down than anything, along with my 2 kids bickering i could scream. anyone else out there having heavy period issues ?
I see some of you ladies are struggling with certain things i do hope these get better for you it definately tests us.
Lah 21 i have injections on my 4th day after having fec my other half gives them to me in the stomach for boosting the bone marrow and white blood cells is this the same as yours? xxx
Sorry to hear about your delay LainieG. I have to ask... Where do you get your injections? Which bit of the body I mean. You know how I love all things needles. I am to stay on FEC and nobody has mentioned anything like that to me. I had my 3rd dose yesterday. Can't decide how I feel. Had some soup a short while ago and feeling quite light headed when I move about. Keep checking back in my diary to make sure I was the same last time.Going out later to check up on my fat, hairy horse. I get someone to run me up to see him and I feed him some carrots and apples. Then give him a pat and leave. Not managed to ride since this started. Don't think he is the least bit bothered. Fortunately a friend is caring for him and rides him once a week. He is still out in his field as the weather is so mild and he is a sturdy soul. Hope it stays this way as long as possible. Hope everybody is coping today.xx
Morning Bettypoppit glad to hear you are finding food to eat!
I am doing ok day 3 after Docetax/Tax - heart better than on FEC I am happy to say, but sat down to dinner last night only to find I couldnt taste it. Almost no nausea with this Tax but I am now hungry and cant taste anything. I love my food so finding it a bit annoying! Feeling tireder than on FEC but not been 'hit by the bus' yet and got some sleep (steroids all finished now).
No shivers to report here yet!
hope everyone else doing ok, off to find something i can eat! xx