Starting chemo October 14

[Murphy1963]

Jingo, fantastic news for you today, both about your little man and yourself. You must've been beside yourself but hopefully you'll be able to relax a wee bit now that things are under control Xxx

Madam, sorry to hear of your problems after your mastectomy. Great that you're able to meet up with an old friend though, although the circumstances are pants.

I had appointment with my GP yesterday to go over points from my oncology appointment a couple of weeks ago. The oncologist had wrote to him to say if I couldn't tolerate letrozole at the 6 month mark I was to be changed to another AI. I told him my thinking was that letrozole must surely be the better drug else why is this the one we all hear about, so I would prefer to persevere as long as possible. Anyway I told him I had been researching and have found one of the branded ones seem to have a good write up - femara. So he's prescribed this specific one and hopefully, sore fingers and toes crossed, it turns out to be the right one for me. Linzz, the nurse is off on hols this week so my GP was giving me my zoladex injection. I lay on the bed and he was just about to stab me and I shot off the bed, woooo what about the lidocaine spray to numb my tummy!!! I've not moved so quick in a long time, he nearly had a heart attack with the fright. He said he's use to giving men this injection for prostate cancer and he doesn't usually use the spray, obviously us women aren't as brave!!

I was at glasgow today having my bone density scan. Results in a couple of weeks.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. I'm loving seeing everyone's new hair pics on our facebook page xxxxx

[jingo_x]

Well, two bits of good news for us today.  My son had some blood tests as they were checking for kidney damage from his recent virus and the bloods came back normal.  Then I got a call from my breast surgeon to say the 8 lymph noded they removed during my mastectomy were all clear.

(Bit odd as I asked him about lymph nodes as I was worried about developing lymphoedema on my left side and he said 'oh no no chance of that happening as we don't touch the lymphatic system'. hmm)

......and breathe....

[MysteryMouse]

Jingo pleased to hear that your son's condition can be managed.  

Very sorry to hear your news Jingo.  What a shock.  I am thinking of you! Sending a big hug too 🙂

Hope everyone else is doing ok too sorry but by the time I get to write a post I can't remember the news! 😮

MM

XX

[Junash]

Jingo firstly a relief about your little mans heart condition thats it can be well managed - brilliant.

Terrible shock for you - four cancers BUT they're gone, you listened to your gut feeling so well done, must have taken some strength to persuade the powers that be to carry out a double mastectomy.

My mastectomy boob had three seperate tumours of differing grade and size. My 'healthy' boob had some DCIS which they removed with clear margins - I wanted them to perform a double mastectomy but they said it wasn't necessary - so at mo have my implant perky and my naturally saggy - huge size difference. A double would have been psychologically better for me but ho hum.

Sitting in hosp at mo for hormonal blood tests and then onto rads - no 15 out of 25.

Peta I'm having rads at Maidstone hosp as its nearer to home and I'm still signed off work. Think you for sharing about Mollie - certainly puts things in perspective - I've been wallowing a bit recently but think coming out the otherside. Hope Mollie is enjoying her new flat and is nice and settled

Madam hope today goes ok.

Love to the posse xx

[AMDriver]

Good grief Jingo_x! I can't really express my feelings about what you are going through but I think "horror" sums it up! 4 types of cancer - I wouldn't have thought that possible. However I think that it's better to know now than to go through a year and then be told and then have to have a mastectomy - you should pride yourself on you prescience of having and elective one! Well done you. I know you probably don't feel it at the moment but I think it's a victory for you - you haven't let it get any traction and it was your decision and it was to be preventative and it was - seriously well done.

So glad your boy's condition is manageable, hopefully that will make thing easier for all of you.

much love

xxxx

[jingo_x]

Thanks ladies. Can't work out if I feel lucky or cursed!
Beer was good though!

Good luck tomorrow Madam, all sounds like a mare but nice to have remade contact with an old friend off the back of this bloody disease!

[Linzz]

Ruddy nora Jingo! Fingers crossed for your further results tomorrow and for any additional treatment to be minimal - or not needed at all xxx

[bettypoppit]

Oh my lord Jingo_x, it's great to hear that your little man's condition can be successfully managed...what a relief, but blooming heck girl...4 cancers! What a good call to have the 2nd mastectomy, although you must be feeling less than blessed at this moment. You have been through so much. Thinking of you tonight and hoping for better news tomorrow. Xx p.s. hope you've enjoyed your beer and pizza 😀🍻

[Madam]

Jingo! Oh Lordy, they just keep on giving you more to deal with. Well, while you have a much deserved beer, I sm so fed up I am on my secind glass of wine! My developed haematoma on the new breast is too solid and too significant to drain so back again tomorrow and may need surgery! So, three days of five appointments at two hospitals! However, through Facebook and coincidence, Before one of my appointments, I am meeting up with someone I used to work with on the Sydney 2000 Olympics, whom I have not seen since then and what brings us together tomorrow,!? Why, Both being treated for BC at the same hospitsl! Thinking of you jingo x

[LainieG]

Jingo I'm glad your wee boys condition should be manageable. What a relief for you. But what a shock to find another cancer! I know you don't feel like it just now but it is a good thing that you had the second breast removed. How different things could've been if it had been found at your screening. I don't know what else to say. I know you're probably feeling down just now. I hope this is the end of it for you now and hiking of you for your results tomorrow 💖

[jingo_x]

Hi ladies...bit of a day here.  My son's appointment went ok - he has a heart condition that I had until I was 27 and had surgery for it.  Its a nuisance and it will affect his life but it is usually not dangerous so that's good.  Things have moved on from my day and they have a beta-blocker that kids tolerate quite well so tomorrow he starts on that to see if he can avoid it happening very often.  Fingers crossed it works for him.

Then off for my results this evening to find that the 'healthy' breast I had removed had another cancer in it - just 10mm lobular, plus an 8mm high grade DCIS 'that would have become a cancer soon'.  So that means in total I have had 4 different cancers.  Not even sure there is a name for that! No idea whether they grew post-chemo or whether they are small because they shrank during chemo.  As usual the breast surgeon said it was occult but 10% of cancers are...hmm all three of mine have been invisible so that ought to destroy a few stats!

He took some additional lymph nodes with my breast tissue and they are still looking at those apparently (why do I feel suspicious about that?).  I should find out tomorrow if there was anything there as well.  Then back to the oncologist to find out if I need any more treatment.

He congratulated me on making a good decision to have my breast removed, said we probably would have found this cancer at next years check up, but I don't feel very 'high 5' at the moment.

Clearly my anti-cancer diet has not been helping much either so beer and pizza for me tonight xx

[bettypoppit]

Hi Madam, lovely to hear from you but sorry that plans are still not made for your next step. Fingers crossed it can all come together for you soon.xx

Jingo_x, hope it went well for you and your little man today. Thinking of you xx

[Madam]

Morning chics!
Murphy, Happy Birthdya for yesterday. Jingo, how is your little lad? Peta, you and your daughter are an inspiration. Reminds me, us of positive stuff! I have been feeling very woe is me...have been back and forth to hospitals as have fluid not draining from the op and haematoma so back in g'day, today and tomorrow! Thought that I would get full results and plan for radio but no news and am frustrated. Will push today as realise been to two appointments and two weeks since leaving hospital, my surgeon and oncologist haven't got all details they need from pathologist. I wnat to know next steps and feel life is in limbo, even though I am meant to be resting and recovering? I do have sharp deep pains behind where breast was and through to my shoulder blade. Apparently all normal and it takes months. I am upright now and walking but can't pick up anything and trying to get my 7 year old ready for his first school,residential trip at 5 am today was amusing! He was so full of beans,it made up for his old hobbling mummy!

[Murphy1963]

Thanks very much for the birthday wishes. I've had a lovely day even though I've been at work. Had loads of nice messages, cards and presents. Very lucky lady!!!

Linzz, I've read joint pain in your hands and feet is a se from zoladex. Like you say, if it's only for a couple of days it's bearable. I don't know if taking letrozole also, which affects the joints too, is why I'm so sore. Who knows!!! Even wriggling my toes is painful 😞

PETA, happy new flat to your daughter. You must be very proud of her, especially defying all the odds stacked against her. We all want our kids to be happy and healthy, it certainly puts things into perspective xxxx. I hope you have a lovely time north of the border. I would agree with linzz though, if I were you I'd be opting for something cosy!!! I love the Borders, I use to live quite near Selkirk, use to go there to get my hair done many moons ago.

AM Driver, I also get weird pains in my boob. It's really hard to explain what it feels like but it definitely feels different to the inside of my other boob. It's like it doesn't have the same elesticity inside as the good boob when I stretch. I hope your skin is getting better. It must be very painful. I don't think there's any rhyme or reason who gets the broken skin and who doesn't during rads, poor you xxxx

Hope everything goes ok tomorrow jingo, will be thinking about you xxxx

[AMDriver]

Happy birthday Murphy I hope you had a great day. 

Pets how lovely for Mollie and good for you to have something positive to direct your thoughts and energy too.

Had loads of stabbing pains in my boob today I don't think it's due to the radiotherapy or the skin problems it seems to be coming from inside if that makes sense. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow 

[Peta]

I forgot to say Happy Birthday Murphy!

Happy Birthday, I hope you had a really lovely day.

Thanks Linzz, I'm really fretting about what to wear. Knowing to wear something warm helps! I get cold really easily too. I'll dress snug.

I'm glad your feet seem to be improving Debtex.

Have a good day tomorrow everyone. X

[bettypoppit]

Peta, what a trouper you are and i guess your daughter Mollie got a huge slice too....how utterly fantastic that she continues to defy the drs and is getting on with her life. Thank you for sharing. xx

I do hope that those posse that are struggling soon get some respite from any pain, soreness, discomfort and black thoughts xx

[LainieG]

Happy birthday Murphy. Nice to hear you're being spoiled. Xx
Peta it's great to hear your daughter is getting a lovely new flat. You have such a positive attitude and it's so true that worrying about how long we're going to live means that we're not living for now. It's great to hear your daughter's story. She's shown that docs don't know everything and it's possible to beat the odds. Xxx

[Linzz]

Bettypoppit and Peta - you are right, if we let the worry take over the bc has won and it takes away the life we've just won back from it. I try to minimise to the odd cathartic wobble and then just get on with things. Work is really busy right now and that definately keeps my mind occupied.

Peta, thank you for sharing about Mollie. I love a good "defies the odds" story. The medical profession can only tell us what they think might happen - we're the ones who live our lives and prove what's possible.

One piece of advice for your trip north - bring something reasonably warm. It's been a little better today here in Edinburgh but the wind has been bitterly cold for the last week or so. It always surprises me how warm it can be down south at this time of the year, so I wouldn't want you to be surprised at how bleeding cold it is up here!

[Peta]

I'm sorry to hear that your boob is sore AMDriver. My boob made it right through to the end and then threw a huge wobble and I got a bit burnt underneath but mainly on my collarbone and neck.  It did heal up very quickly, it took about a week.  The radiotherapy team gave me some gel pads to put on it in the evening that cooled it very pleasantly, they don't stick they just rest on the burn and sooth it right down.  Maybe they can give you something like this too  in addition to the cream?  Junash good luck with yours.  Nearly half way.  I honestly didn't feel hugely more tired at any point, I wasn't exactly lively, but I didn't feel more tired than I would have  been going up and down in the car for 30 days, so I hope that the tiredness doesn't effect you too much either.  Fingers crossed it doesn't!   Are you having radio at St Georges?  I'm down there Wednesday week with my daughter, if it's around the same time fancy a coffee in Marks and Spencers?   I'd be lovely to meet you in person.

I'm off to a wedding at the weekend, in Selkirk, flying to Edinburgh on Friday.  I've got no idea what to wear, nothing fits me because I've put on a stone during radiotherapy, and my hair has completely and utterly changed colour so everything is too tight, or looks weird.  I've been shopping, but I hate shopping when I'm towards the plumper end of my scale so I haven't bought anything apart from a nice scarf from the White Company that I thought I could hide behind, if necessary.  🙂

My daughter Mollie is moving into a new flat very shortly, so I've been away helping her sort that.  She has severe medical difficulties so she lives in what they call supported living accomodation, it basically means that there's someone to hand to keep an eye on her and help her if she needs it.  She can get very ill and needs someone else to call an ambulance when she collapses, so she can't live on her own (although I have just seen those medical emergency dogs!   They sound like a great idea!).  So far she's been in a kind of student digs type place with similarly disabled people, but they've offered her an absolutely brand new supported living flat that has a huge brand new shiny kitchen and she's over the moon, as she loves cooking.   She's a bit panicy about the change and living somewhere new, so I've been trying to keep her calm and help her some buy furniture and bits and pieces that she'll need. 

I think helping my daughter get sorted has helped me concentrate on something positive.  She's also had to deal with so much during her life, she's in and out of hospital all the time that I think it's helped to stop me from getting down about my prospects with breast cancer.  She's 26.  I have no idea how long she will live, she's the oldest person in the world with her condition.  They didn't think she'd make one year old, let alone 26. 🙂  So I think I've had to think about how long one can expect to live, and what's fair and what's not for a long time.   I'm not happy to have breast cancer, particularly as it's stressed her so much, but I'm very very glad it's me and not her this time.  And I think that because I've nagged her all her life to just get on with it and do as much as she can, that I really owe it to her to get on with it now myself and not dwell on what might be.  I know this is very personal to me and we all have different life experiences, but  I think that the real skill is learning how to live in the "right now".  Enjoy today.  Then it doesn't matter how long you live because you are alive now and enjoying today.    Anything else is just icing on the cake, but cake without icing is okay too.  

Anyway thinking of you all, keep going ladies, as Betty says just one more step...   I hope you all have a great day today, one way or another.     Big hugs to the lot of you, you all deserve them so much! 

[MysteryMouse]

Happy Birthday Murphy1963. 52 years YOUNG!! 🙂

MM

xx

[bettypoppit]

Happy birthday Murphy xx

Catching up after my week away too and it's sad to read your posts about very real worries for what might lie ahead. I'm trying to talk myself around to thinking that if I spend all my time and energy worrying it has spread, taken hold or is coming back that my life will be not worth living anyway!!! Stark I know. Easier said than done too, I know.  "One sodding day at a time"!  Big big hugs to all the posse, but especially to those of you with young children as I can understand that these dark thoughts have all the more poignancy xxx

[Linzz]

Happy birthday Murphy! Enjoy your foot spa  They don't seem to have onc psyhcologists over here, so it's great you can take advantage of such a service. It's bound to help.

BTW do you find your aches and pains are worse in the days after your zoladex? I've had a lot of joint pain for a few days which seems to have eased a little now. I could cope if it was only for a few days a month instead of all the time. Just wondered what your experience is? 

[nicnac15]

Wishing you a happy birthday murphy xxxx

[Murphy1963]

Hi posse, sorry to hear so many of us are having wobbles and thinking horrible thoughts. I think this is to be expected after all we've been through but it still isn't nice. I've had a letter through from the oncology psychologist that I had been seeing through my chemo, asking if I wanted to go back or do I want to be signed off from her. I'm thinking I might make an appointment to talk over worries I have. Better to get things off my chest than storing up my fears I think. I've felt really down this week, fed up feeling sore and old. My feet have been playing up this week something terrible and I'm just sick of it.

Jingo, I will be thinking about you and your boy on Tuesday, it must be an enormous worry for you xxx

Go to glasgow on Wednesday for my bone density scan. Waiting for results from the biopsy they took from my mouth. My practice nurse is on hols this week so my GP is giving me my zoladex injection on tues. Not looking forward to him doing it incase his technique isn't as good as the nurse 😞

My birthday today (11th), 52 years old!!! Had some lovely presents so far, flowers, perfume, bag, purse, voucher, money and a foot spa from hubby which I'm looking forward to trying out. Think he's fed up hearing me moan about how sore my feet are!!!!

I've been off on hols all last week but back to work today so better get to bed else I'll never get up.

Love and hugs xxxx

[nicnac15]

Hi junash i too have these horrible thoughts i nearly didnt book my hol in dec for my big birthday as its in december, but hubby said i cant think like that its damn hard though.
Im that paranoid i booked into docs thur night as ive had a neck pain and thought it felt different so panicked thinking worse he tried to put my mind at ease said the thoughts will go in time.

I had some upsetting news other day a close family friend just been diagnosed with bc so brought it all back to me what shes got to go through shes beside herself with worry. X

I hope your skin starts to improve AMdriver soon. Xx

[Junash]

Agh Jingo although it's a comfort to know its not just me with these thoughts and I'm not completely losing the plot I'm really sorry that you're having them too. Yep I look at my eleven year old thinking hes to young to be without his mum and I'd hate to bring that sadness into his life. I know he'd cope and would be surrounded by love but still...... God I hate this. Fingers crossed with the passing of time that it does get easier, let's hope so eh? I know you've got the additional worry with your little man - am thinking of you.

Yep dull brain here as well - earl grey or breakfast tea..... Hmmm decisions decisions!! Can't quite imagine jumping on the tube to pop over to Covent garden to meet friends after work - feels like another life at the mo.

Onwards and upwards all xx

[jingo_x]

Junash huge respect for you and everyone else having long rads treatments.  3 weeks made me so tired and sore, 5 weeks must feel like a marathon.

I am like you - dark thoughts creep into my head all the time.  I constantly worry that I am not going to be around for my youngest and find it hard to commit to plans.  Sometimes I get through a day and lie in bed and then just cry as I feel it's all too much.   I do have good days and lovely people around me, but the thoughts bring me down. I only hope it will get better for all of us with time.

My brain is so dull these days I can hardly beleive I used to work 12 hour days in a frantic environment.  Now I cant even decide what tea bags to use! 

[Junash]

12th rad today out of 25 - skin ok so far but had my 'mid rads meeting' today and consultant warned me the next 12 will affect skin, especially neck area as they're zapping nodes and tiredness will really hit - joy of joys.

AM Driver hope your skin calms down - lets us know how you get on with the prescribed lotion/gel.

Had a Wobble today 😞 - some mum friends of mine are booking to go to Tenerife in feb 2016 with kids for half term. I've booked today to go with Sam but couldn't shake the thought that it's a long way off and what if I'm not here - I really need to sort this head out. Is it just me having these dark thoughts? Husband said I mustn't think like that but sometimes I can't shake it. I feel so well physically but this gloomy head of mine is driving me bananas. Good friend said well none of us know if we'll be here in 9 months, true but it would never have entered my mind before BC. Sorry for being a gloomy posse member tonight xx

[AMDriver]

Hi Nicnac

Actually I tan really easily and the team did say they just expected my skin to get darker and not to have the trouble I am having - I thought that wuld be the case too. Still we should all know now that nothing is as expected!!

xx

[jingo_x]

Thank you Posse for your lovely comments.  Have a lovely weekend x

[nicnac15]

oh Jingo - i do hope your little boy will be ok and its nothing to serious, added stress for you and family is not good fingers crossed this end for Tuesday.

I dont seem to have any hair loss at moment, up to now not really noticed any side effects from tamoxifen suppose theres still time - eek.

just reading about scans i was told i will get a yearly mammogram for the next 5 years but im waiting to find out if this will happen due to the cancer not even showing up on the mammogram i had at diagnosis due to my age im no where near ready to be called for them so little apprehensive  in case something get missed my next mri this month is checking both sides so fingers crossed ! xx

AMDriver you skin sound so painful i hope it starts to improve isnt it wierd how it affects us all different do you burn easily in the sun ? my radiographer said if your skin tans ok it normally holds up but if you burn in the sun it will probably affect us worse. xxxxx

[AMDriver]

Oh Jingo_x how horrible for you and your family. I hope your little chap is ok though and you get through the weekend without too many worries.

Debtex good that things are starting to get better with your feet. Mine are better with 3 sessions of acupuncture (painful though it is) and I have another one booked for next Friday.

A beer and a curry sounds good to me!

I had to go back to the hospital today as my skin has broken down and is really painful particularly under the breast where it is raw and bleeding. They dressed it for me and gave me some Intrasite gel - has anyone else had this gel? I'm supposed to take the dressing off tonight and put the gel on and repeat for the next three days. Paracetamol for the pain - but I have co-codamol if I need it.

I hope you all have a good weekend and that there's some decent weather - which always makes the world seem a better place..

xxx

[Linzz]

That's great news Debtex, glad you're getting some relief at last!

MysteryMouse I get some sharp, deep pains just underneath where my breast was just a few times a day. They are 7 or 8 on the pain scale but very short-lived, or else I'd probably think I was having a heart attack. I've had them since rads and I think I read they are "to be expected" so I have not worried too much. If anyone hears anything different please let me know!

About scans, my unit doesn't offer anything now until yearly check (unless like me you're having a panic). I think different units have different policies, but my onc said that mostly people are OK and doing routine additional scans only achieved high levels of scanxiety and didn't actually make any difference in the long run.  So, it's entirely normal not to be offered any additional scans or tests. Feels scary, but lets you get on with getting back to normal if you have nothing looming for a while

(It's Friday night and I'm about to have a beer and a curry and totally ignore my looming scan LOL)

[Debtex]

Hi Ladies , I'm sorry to hear about ongoing stress and issues . I just wanted to add this post as it might benefit others . As you know I have had terrible nerve pain in my feet since completing paclitaxel . It's affected my walking and kept me awake for at least 2 hours every night for nearly 3 months . The last week or so it has started to ease slightly . But out if the blue I got a call to say I had been referred for complimentary therapy . I was offered acupuncture but there is no way I could stand that in my feet so they offered me reflexology followed by acupressure instead . Already it has made a positive difference and last night I got to sleep really quickly . I think it can help with aches and pains all over the body , so maybe it's something others can ask about x

[bettypoppit]

Big hugs Jingo_x, you must be full of worry for your little chap and your results. Thinking of you for Tuesday xx

Great to hear that you are getting on so well PETA after your marathon rads, enjoy xx

[MysteryMouse]

Thinking of you Jingo_x!  🙂

A beautiful day here so far which really helps the mood! 🙂

I think it was Peta who like me is still having deep pains where the breast once was and in the back.  Is anyone else?  I really don't want to become obsessed with this. 😛

Am I correct in thinking that most of us ladies after mastecomy,chemo and rads are not having any further scans at all apart from yearly mmamo and check and those ladies that are it is for other reasons?  Very confusing as different things seem to happen.

Anyway ladies have a good day and I hope the sun is shining where you are! 🙂

MM

xx

[Junash]

Jingo - sending you a big hug, so much stress. Xxx

[Linzz]

Jingo, you must be beside yourself! I hope you manage to take your mind off things for a wee while over the weekend xx

[LainieG]

Oh Jingo you're really going through the mill. I'll be thinking of you and your wee boy on Tuesday. Good luck with it all xxx

[jingo_x]

I am definitely losing more hair, dont know if it's Tamoxifen or radiotherapy, but it's thinning.

had to go to the dentist today as oneof my back teeth broke at the weekend.  I asked if chemo could affect teeth and she said yes, but she said radio was the problem as it can cause the roots to decay.  Said that if I needed any teeth extracted she would be referring me to hospital for it!  I didn't thankfully.

Had a call back from the hospital about my little boy and it seems he does have some kind of heart condition so Tuesday next week is now results day for my mastectomy pathology, and also we find out what the treatment plan is for him.  Not sleeping well this week with so much to worry about.  My poor little man 😞

[Junash]

Just a quickie as I'm in my jim jams and heading up to bed - radiotherapy, had number 11 today out of 25 - did it cause hair loss for any of the posse? My hair seems to be shedding a little - agh!!!!

Lainie - I think it was you that asked me about my wobbly teeth, always had dodgy gums but chemo inflamed them and caused pockets around back teeth - two wobbly and onebroken one - being sorted soon though.


Xx

[nicnac15]

Hi linzz know what u mean about the second half of the c word i too said to hubby perhaps this is the part i dont need to watch but had to finish to the end. Ive just had a date through for mri scan end of month felt sick !!! Dreading going back for results, on a positive note booked my new york break for my 40th now so another date to look forward to.
Peta did u suffer from hot flushes in the day or at night im suffering at night wakes me up cant remember sleeping through for ages im on tamoxifen also. Xxxx

[Linzz]

Hi Peta, glad to hear you are feeling stronger. It's amazing to feel able to exercise - and even diet - isn't it?  I lost over 6 kg since rads started which is when I began my exercise and dieting efforts. Trying to get what's left to stop wobbling now though

Thanks for your positive vibes re my scan - it isn't till early June! When the pain wakes me at 4 am I am convinced of the worst, but in the light of day I know that it is likely to be lack of oestrogen. Despite the scanxiety I am really grateful they've offered me it. If I have to put up with pain long-term I can only see myself coping if I know that it is definately not something sinister.

After making a big deal of not watching the C word I caved and watched it last night on the iPlayer when I had time to myself. Strangely I was completely un-moved by the first half (one click? I had at least a dozen!). The second half... yep, perhaps I should have stayed firm and not watched. I thought it did a very good job of giving the general public an inkling of the reality of bc.

[Peta]

Hi everyone

I've been away for a bit because I'm getting over the radiotherapy now, and it's so great to be able to get out and do things.  I have been reading your postings though, to keep up with events!   I've been out walking a lot lately and I'm pretty sure I can feel muscles starting to develop again.  I put on a stone during radiotherapy so I've got to lose that, I haven't dieted so far because I thought it best to recover a bit first, but the diet has to start soon!  I started on Tamoxifen a couple of weeks ago, I had a few hot flushes to start with but I feel fine now.

AMD driver, you're still doing rads, my thoughts are with you, its a long old haul isn't it?  and Madam, how are you doing now?  I hope your recent surgery is settling down and you're starting to get back to your old gorgeous self!  MM yes, I have similar pains in my back and shoulder and in my boob - sharp stabbing pains, I believe it's the nerve endings kicking back into action and knitting together.  Linzz you're going for a scan soon?  Do you have a date yet?  Try not to worry too much, I know how hard it is to not worry though, I hope your worrying symptoms just settle down and you can relax.  I'm thinking of you and sending very positive vibes your way. 

Love and healthy wishes to you all...

Peta

[MysteryMouse]

I had my biopsy on 3 July.  Had gone for the 2 week fast track appointment at hospital referred by GP and just thought I would be fine as there was so many other ladies all there (it couldn't possibly happen to me could it)?  However, after having being seen by doc and mamogram and then scans it quickly transpired there was something wrong and they did biopsies there and then.  The Radiologist was the one who told me as I knew something was wrong and just asked her to tell me straight.  She then told me in her opinion it was cancer.  Then I remember sitting in a room on our own in shock while the nurse had gone off to make us tea somewhere.  All I remember is both myself and my husband crying and walking back out of the hospital still crying and in shock with complete strangers looking at me.  I went back to get results of type and spread a few days later and the journey had started! 😛  I didn't tell anyone else until middle of August the day before I had my mastecomy, as couldn't keep a secret any more.

On a brighter note ladies today I had my first ever Indian head massage and facial and it was brilliant.  How did I get to being 47 without ever having one before?  Feel very pampered now! 🙂  Think I just might have to do it again very soon! 🙂

MM

xx

[LainieG]

Mysterymouse I did find after each session that my eyesight was really bad for a while but it always improved after about a week. I'm going to make an appointment for an eye test. I probably need new glasses anyway and they might be able to tell me what the grey blob I'm seeing in my right eye is. Hope your new glasses arrive soon. Xx

[MysteryMouse]

LainieG you asked about eye problems.  Yes, me too.  My oncologist warned me at the start of chemo that my sight may be affected but should come back.  Unfortunately it hasn't got any better and my last chem was Jan.  I had an eye test the other day and was told I do now need glasses for reading and distance!  😞  Was told it was caused by the chemo and is not reversible.  I haven't been able to drive or see anything clearly for so long so am not too upset now just looking forward to my glasses arriving and being able to see clearly again! 🙂

MM

xx

[Debtex]

I don't even want to think back to mine , but I had the biopsy and it was quite sore , I had padding and tape over it . no one except my husband knew anything .by this stage I had been told it was cancer . 2 days later we took my daughter and pony to meet some friends so the girls could go on a farm ride together . Our pony was very bright , eyes on stalks and far too boisterous for my daughter so I had to get on board and ride the first part . It was a hot day , very very hot and I was sat on this over excited bucking pony thinking I must be bloody mad ! I was scared I might fall off , bang the lump and cause it to spread round my body . I got quite ratty at one stage as the other kids were galloping around and winding up our pony even more , it was only months later that I could explain how I was feeling that day .

[Linzz]

It's fascinating to hear everyone's "back story", we are all so different - for a group of women in the same boat 🙂 I suspect we might revisit the topic to some extent in Dublin. Mental note: make sure to have plenty of tissues at the ready...