Starting chemo in April 2012

[Guest user]

Good Evening Bunnies

Also I'm losing track of where everyone is but well done everyone who had cycle 1 this week - it does seem everyone is different in how they react!
This time last week I was beside myself ready to give up. I felt so sick and awful it was frightening and look at me now. This week I have been so busy just managed to keep up with the posts!!went back to work, picking my son up from school and keep forgetting I'm even getting chemo. I have felt perfectly fine!!!

The only thing that worries me is as someone mentioned earlier, risk of infection. I spoke to the chemo nurse today and said I can't stop my life and not go out and meet people ! Obviously i'll stay away from anyone who is visibly sick but my son has always got a runny nose and is picking up bugs from school not sure I can isolate myself from him!!! Does anyone else have young children and have you had any advice. My chemo nurse agreed with me and said just be careful.

I'm on day 15 and cannot believe how fast the next cycle has come round. Next Thurs and I'll be ill again. But after reading how your tumor has reduced Gadget Girl evidence the sparkly stuff is a GodSend!!
I just hope that SE next time are minimal but apparently you can't predict and they could be worse or even better!!

Also does anyone know why they only give 5 days supply of antisickness tablets. My worst days were when they ran out day 5 -10 and am wondering if I should ask for tablets for 10 days next time? Or do the antisickness
tablets have side effects and doctors don't give them ?

I love the idea of chemotherapy journey in photos!! Although I want to put this experience behind me- i quite like the idea of keeping a scrapbook with photos thoughts cards etc and even things from this forum just so when breast cancer is treated as easily as treating a cold people can see the barbaric journey us brave ladies went through!!

Minimal SE to all love Sarah xx

Sarah xx

[Sameelee3]

Hello Bunnies,

It's hard to keep track of us all, but what is clear is the massive difference between how we are all responding to the same sparkly stuff. ( not quite as easy for me to imagine yet, Pixie, but trying)

Vanns, Your reactions are almost identical to mine, but I didn't have Emend. I found the sickness really upsetting, and was desperate for it to stop. No-one should have to suffer 3 days of throwing up! I am going to talk to my onc about it fore next time. I am dreading next time.

BigM- I also had a mx with an expander back in Feb so I have had a chance to cover from the op before the chemo. You seem to be having everything done within such a short time frame, which I guess is good, but it must be doing your head in. I really sympathise, but try not to be scared-you might not experience any of the stuff others have!

Little Chick - hope they are sorting you out and that you can be home soon.

Good news about the tumour, GadgetGal , and welcome to Rachel P- your FEC was just one day earlier than mine.Lets see how we get on with the so called week 2 dip.

Hope those who are quiet today are doing okay. Have a restful night, Bunnies,
Lee
X

[Guest user]

Dear bunnies,
Sorry it has taken a while to post since FECIng. Bit of a nightmare. Despite Emend and everything else, started to be sick on and off from 6pm till about midnight. Feel bloody awful and have slept most of the time. Chemo unit were fantastic on the phone last night and when I went in this morning for immune boost injection my ONC had prescribed anti sickness suppository's for me. I was quite horrified at the thought but actually they have been much better. After I have slept I feel much better but then I have to take one sort of med or another then feel worse again. I have chronic head/face/nose ache. I don't remember anyone posting about this. I can't seem to wear my glasses which makes me feel dizzy at the best of times. Haven't managed to eat or drink much as the feeling of stuff sloshing about makes me feel quite sick. Can anyone remember what was good for the metallic taste and if anyone knows anything about the face hurt can you let me know. Temp is fine and chemo unit said the flushed look is the steroids.

Well done PPixie, glad to see our leader taking in her stride! Must have been all that good motherly advice re the mustard poultice.

Sorry you had a bad time little chick. But at least now they know they will be able to change your meds for next time.

P.S. I'm now very pissed off as after writing this post I have just lost it into cyber space and I have had to write it all again. Typical !

Love to all
Vanns

[pesteringpixie]

Good afternoon bunnies

Welcome Rachel 🙂

Big M - I had a portacath fitted on Tuesday and it was used for my first chemo yesterday. The portacath procedure is done under local anaesthetic and I wasn't given any sedation. There is a fair bit of pushing and pulling but it was not painful at all. Kept chatting to the nurses throughout. I have 2 incisions. One about 2cm next to my collar bone and another about 4cms on my chest. Took about an hour.

However, came to first chemo yesterday and it made life so much easier. No cannulas, freedom of movement, no chance of infections or collapsed veins. I would recommend it to anyone who gets the opportunity.

Carol, how frustrating for you, hope you finally got the sparkly magic.

Gadget gal, pleased to hear you are on the up.

Little chick, I am so sorry you are this Ill makes me angry that it's down to chemo units as to what we get. Seems all of us given Emend have been okay. Really hope they get your meds sorted for next time.

Sara, good on you for getting on with it. I am intending to work every 3rd week so hope I can.

Like the pic hyzelath not sure if it's fiver or hazel from water ship down 🙂

Well done to all the new bunny pics.

Well, I am on day 2 and okay. Had very gentle day and slept a lot, but showered and now going to cook dinner. No changes in my taste as yet just a general overall feeling of being under the weather.

Much love

Pixie xx

[sara12]

Hi to all the new people - I think it gets better after the first time, once you know what to expect.

Re likelihood of infection.... I've just carried on as normal since day 1, going to all my group activities as usual. All I have done is make sure that anyone with signs of a cold doesn't sit too near to me, and I carry anti-bacterial handwash with me everywhere.

Basically I was determined that this wasn't going to affect my life, so have kept going despite SEs (but fortunately haven't suffered the dreadful sickness, or vein problems that some people have had). I went out to dinner with a friend on the evening of my first FEC despite feeling 'spaced out' and have been out every day since.

Re when to call your helpline numbers - I'd echo what's been said previously - if in doubt call them. Don't worry about your concerns being trivial - they'll be understanding about it and it's better to be safe than sorry.

I'm now on day 15 - FEC 2 next Wednesday. I'm keeping fingers crossed that I don't pick up any infection before then. Have onc check on Monday so hoping blood tests will be OK. Am also hoping SEs don't get worse with second dose, though, as I have enough discomfort in various areas already!

Sara

[Guest user]

Hyzenthlay, my chemo nurse advised me to carry on as normal as long as I felt well enough. She said they'd stopped warning people off crowds, takeaways, uncooked food etc. as they found they don't really make a difference to well being.

[Hyzenthlay]

Hi Big M,

I got a lot of information from the the chemo nurses, the basic advice was to take my temp every day and act immediately if it's over 38 and if in any doubt at all about anything phone the chemo ward or out of hours oncology registrar - they even gave me a card with the numbers. If I'm worried I intend to call them!

I had my first FEC on Tuesday and I'm wondering about the low white blood cells period and how likely infection is. Should we be avoiding crowds of people, for example?

I know how anxious you get before starting - the list of side effects is long, I suppose they have to cover all the possibilities, but it can be a bit of an overload.

Hyzenthlay
xx

[Guest user]

Hi Natalie,
I'm in grays having treatment in Southend, a meet up sounds good.

Big M, there are a couple of checklists under the "top tips for chemotherapy" forum that I found quite useful. Side effects for me haven't been too bad so far, hope they aren't for you. My unit gave me a 24 hour number to call if I felt unwell to chat through symptoms and see if I need to go in. Where are you? There is a fab wig shop in Southend if you are anywhere near?
xxxxx

[Guest user]

CarolR, I hope the wait isn't too frustrating and that you can get FEC1 done soon.

If it helps, your reason is far more plausible than my 2-day delay. Basically someone in the oncology team told the chemo unit that I'd refused treatment, when all I'd refused was the drug trial! So there was no spare chair for me, let alone any FEC on order!

[Guest user]

Hi all, PP I have changed my profile picture (took me ages to find a bunny I liked though ; ) )

Well, I turned up for my FEC1 this morning at the given time - after 90 minutes of patiently waiting to be called they told me the chemo hadn't arrived!!! There had been a bad accident on the M1 and it seems my jungle juice was caught up in it! I am now waiting for a phone call to see when I have to go back, either this afternoon or tomorrow morning !

I may now have time to read all the posts that I haven't been able to read : )

Best wishes to you all.
Carol

[Guest user]

Angela36, keep an eye on your hand. If it gets worse phone your chemo ward, the vein could be inflamed. (Ask me how I know!)

[Guest user]

Hi Big M,

Please try not to be scared, most side effects are manageable. In fact, I had my FEC on a Thursday and was back in the office on Monday.

Nausea is the most common, and they will give you a drip of anti-sickness meds plus some pill to take home. keep some ginger ale and/or ginger biscuits at home if that helps. Plus some sliced bread for nice and easy dry toast.

Expect to be tired so make your bedroom nice and comfy before chemo day. either that or keep a blanket and pillow on your sofa for relaxing and TV.

Lots of water or other fluids to flush out the FEC in the first few days

"unwell", I think, is anything more than a touch of nausea or fatigue or a temp higher than 38. if you're sick but your temp is still normal, you still need to see a doctor. your chemo unit might give you a card to keep in your wallet with emergency numbers.

You WILL get through this 🙂

[Guest user]

RachelP

Whereabouts in Essex are you? Where are you being treated?

Perhaps us Essex Girls can meet up for a coffee at some point. I know that Pixie and I will arrange something soon.

LittleChick, sorry to her you were so ill and ended up in hospital. Hope you get well soon.

Pixie, glad you are getting on ok so far.

Speak to you all later

Love and hugs

Natalie xxxx

[June_BCC]

Hello Big M

Welcome to the forums, this must be a very difficult time for you but you have come to the right place for support from our experienced users who I’m sure will be along to support you soon.

In the meantime maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.

Best wishes
June, moderator

[Guest user]

Bunnies uploaded Pixie!
Day 9 and still ok thought this weather does not inspire any get up and go! Did have a strange swelling and itching of left hand yesterday fortunately now back to normal. Managed to make bread yesterday first for a long time, also spent time making a "nice day" list. We have only being in the area 6 months so a lot of places to explore.
Hope littlechick is feeling better
Angelaxx

[Guest user]

Hi everyone - I'm a new girl. I have just found this forum and am amazed at how much info there is! It's hard to plough through it all so I am just going to ask my questions and see if anyone helps me.

I had a mastectomy and reconstruction 4 weeks ago and I have cancerous lymph nodes as well. I start FEC-T next Friday. I have been given scary info about side effects but I wonder about practical stuff - how do you find out where to look for a wig? How likely are you to get seriously ill during those few days when your reduced white blood cells leave you open to infection? They say rush to hospital if you "feel unwell" but those side effects are going to make me feel unwell. How do you know if the "unwell" I feel is the type that you should go to A&E for?

Just had a call explaining the portacath procedure which I am having next Tuesday. Sounds horrendous. Is there anything on the forum about this?

OMG I am so scared - about everything

[Guest user]

Hi all,
Another Essex April bunny here. First time poster, bit late as I was fec'd for the first time last Tuesday (17th). Now sitting at home waiting for my hair to fall out! Had three days in bed last week, but a little bit of pottering, setting the washing machine and feeding my toddler her tea. Felt much much better on day five and now wondering what to do with myself. Work don't seem to want me back until I am fit enough for full time, all the time.

Thank you to all the lovely ladies that have posted such nice, positive messages, has been helping me xx

[margietee]

Well done pixie, vanns, littlechick but so sorry to hear abt the sickness littlechick. Gadgetgal that's great that the tumour has shrunk.

Just waiting for my sister to arrive for an overnight stay. I'll be back when she's gone to report on my onc mtg yesterday. All set for FEC2 next Wed.

Good luck everyone.

Margieteex

[Guest user]

oh, and body hair has started shedding (exactly 2 weeks, lol!)

no hair loss on top, cooling cap FTW!

[Guest user]

Hi everyone,

I had my Oncology check up yesterday and I got good news: my tumour has definitely shrunk! I found it harder to find in the shower yesterday and the oncologist confirmed it by saying he found harder to find as well. With a tape measure, he estimates that its HALF the size after one dose of FEC.

While my side effects have been mild, I did fill an A5 page when I jotted them down beforehand. (I think if they were on a bingo grid, I'd win something!). The oncologist says he will recommend a smaller dose of FEC next week and some different anti-nausea medication. In addition to that I have to drink more water after next chemo so that I don't have any bladder irritation.

The only downside is that he is not happy with my blood count (8.7 but increased to 9). I might need a transfusion in order to keep me healthy through chemo.

[Guest user]

Sadly no Emend here. I am in hospital on a drip. Been violently sick all night.

[pesteringpixie]

P.s.

Ladies, don't forget, we are trying to get the whole thread to have bunny pics, so if you haven't done yours yet, off you hop ang get a bunny pic;)

Much love

Pixie xx

[pesteringpixie]

Good morning bunnies

DJ, you are lovely keep popping in to cheer us along, thank you. Have a wonderful holiday, the weather will be perfect at this time.

Carole, great news no more surgery. Good luck with chemo 1

Giraffe, I was like that, watching the other bunnies start and thinking, that will be me soon and it was, as it wll be for you.

Well, had chemo 1 yesterday. Came home 6pm, had jacket potato for tea, loads to drink, Felt tired so went to bed at 9.30 and woke up at 7am! Now sitting in bed, had cup of tea and weetabix and now posting on here then going to order my Sainsburys groceries. No nausea or other SEs as yet, but am A little shaky, tremors in my hands and legs a bit jelly. So far so very, very good. No hair fallen out yet either.

Good luck to all starting today and Natalie tomorrow.

Much love

Pixie xx

[Guest user]

Hi Bunnies or should that be Ducks in this weather!!!!! I have had a busy two days with visits to the hospital for blood tests and checks by the consultant. Thank goodness I don't need to have another operation YEAH!! They say it should calm down in the next couple of months (?) and to tell the cardiologist not to press so hard next time!

Tomorrow at 10:00 I start chemo No. 1 so am feeling a little anxious tonight. I have my bag all ready although I think I may have left something out (will be thinking about it all night now : ( ) I will try and get back on here tomorrow at some point but will see how I feel.

Hope all you girls who have had your chemo this week are not too bad and the SE's not evident! I am sorry I haven't had chance to read all the mails on here (there are soooooo many now) but will have a go when I have lots of spare time (probably on Friday).

Night night, I will try and get some rest now.

Hugs and best wishes to you all.
Carol xx

[Guest user]

Vanns and Pixie - got my fingers crossed that your side effects will be small!
This time next week it'll be me saying that I've survived number 1! I was in a meeting at work and found myself thinking in a weeks time I'm going to be having my 1st chemo.

Take Care

Julie

[DJ007]

Well done April bunnies. Most of you are now on the chemo road.

I know some of you have had horrid SEs - do make sure that you talk to your team before your next one so they can adjust your meds. Hopefully, what you have been through is the worst it's ever going to be.

For those who've had little SE's, Yaaay! Don't take it for granted though and do make sure you take all your meds next time.

Unfortunately you are all going to find that chemo is, at best, a long, boring grind - I never knew if each one came round too soon, or not soon enough. However, hang on in there - you will get through it and this time next year it will be a fading memory. Start planning your treats!

I'm off on hol to South Africa on Saturday, so won't be around for a week or so. Hope all your SEs are little ones - I'll visit when I get back.

Take care and hugs to all.
Dx

[pesteringpixie]

Hi bunnies

Vanns - I have also been FEC'd ! Feel tired and groggy but no other SEs yet.

I am so pleased I did the portacath, made it an absolute doddle, no discomfort, cannulas etc. highly recommend to anyone who gets the opportunity to have one.

Have huge carrier bag of medication with 4 different lots of anti emetics. Had Emend and doper something today prior to chemo. Told me if this lot doesn't work, they will link a syringe driver to my portacath. So feel reassured.

Chemo nurse was fantastic, filled me with confidence. Was much much easier than I had expected. One of these days I will stop listening to my daft head.

Anyway, shall see what happens now but very relieved to have got número uno under my belt.

Much love
pixie xx

[Guest user]

Hi all

Just a quickie re Cawstons Apple and Ginger - it is currently 99p in Sainsbury's

Love and Hugs

Natalie xxx

[Guest user]

Dear warren,

I've been FEC ed !!!!!!!!

Feel weird.

Will come back later x

Myxi vanns

[Guest user]

Pixie, I live in Braintree, not sure if I mentioned before and work in Wakes Colne.

I am not having chemo at Broomfield, all my chemo treatment will be at Springfield Hospital as I am a private patient so not sure how different it will be but I like the fact I have my own room to potter about in and do what I like. Will also be fed and watered as and when I want it 🙂

Are you going on your own today or is your OH going with you? My OH and I work for the same company and they have been really supportive throughout all of this, giving him time off paid as well....he is coming with me tomorrow. I have been told I will be there more or less all day.

Tracy, so glad you are feeling your normal self today and I hope that you enjoy your lunch, you deserve it.

Margietee, do not feel embarrassed about only having slight SE's, we are all different and it just means that you are around more to support others.

I can't believe this weather we are having. It is absolutely tipping it down outside at the moment.....so depressing.

Have a good afternoon all and speak to you later

Hugs

Natalie xxx

[pesteringpixie]

Good morning all you wonderful bunnies

I never imagined when I started this thread how we could build such a strong supportive community. It is a huge joy every morning when I log on and see all the posts.

Tracy, pleased you have rejoined the human race and hope you enjoy lunch today.

Elaine & Marie, I want to join your mini SE club, can I?

Natalie, I am in Nayland so not far from you at all. We only moved here in November, prior to that was in Lamarsh so would have been at Broomfield with you. If the wobbles get too bad, do try your GP, he may prescribe you something for a short time until you get into it.

Well, chemo day for myxi vanns, little chick and yours truly. I have to go for 2pm. Feel very upbeat about the chemo as I know it is going to nuke any stray cells. I imagine it as a liquid full of sparkling stars filling me up with goodness and making all well again. The only poisoning it's going to do is to any lurking nasties.

My neck and chest are bruised and very sore so not much looking forward to having needle puncturing skin to get to portacath valve. Wish they had done this earlier to give it a chance to settle and heal.

Had phone call this morning about little dog we want to rescue. Home check is on Saturday so hoping I look human and not like a floppy rag doll. If all okay, we can pick her up next week. Fingers crossed.

Chemo bag now has a digital thermometer to keep the tissues and apple and ginger drink company. Will probably come home loaded up with all sorts of stuff from chemo unit.

Anyway, hope all the SEs for everyone are tiny and good luck to others starting today - me included.
Much love
pixie xx

[teabelly]

Morning Everyone

YES YES YES i feel human again i got up feeling almost myself still not got an apetite but stomach feel lots better OH taking me out for lunch to cheer me up

Good Luck Pixie,LittleChick and Vanns i am thinking about you all sending you a virtual hug

Margietee dont feel bad about having no SE effects if we all had bad SE at the same time we would never get through this horrible experience i love the idea of the poison being good medicine im going with this

Natalie you will be fine on friday

Hyzenthlay glad you are SE free hope it carries on for you

Carol hope you can start your chemo on thu fingers crossed for you

Well as feeling better im going to make the most of it bit of cleaning i think as i have been lazy last few days
lOVE TO YOU ALL
Tracy xxxx

[margietee]

Thanks Sarah b and yes, defo wishing you luck for your appt.

Has anyone just seen the interview on BBC breakfast about the book of photos of the chemo journey of photographer Gemma Levine? I'm going to try and get a copy today. Will review it for fellow bunnies!

mteex

[Hyzenthlay]

Morning folks. I'm OK today too, though after breakfast (porridge) I felt I was going to be sick, so I'm not planning to eat much today.

Sarah - yes I had FEC yesterday - sorry forgot to tell everyone, I'm on 4 x FEC then 4 x TAX. And you should feel proud of yourself going into work. Hope it goes OK.

Have a good day everyone, whether you're starting, waiting, coping with SEs or managing to escape them for now.

Hyzenthlay
xx

[sarabee2012]

Good luck to all the bunnies starting today!!!

And Margietee don't feel bad about not feeling so bad with the SEs. If there's one thing that I'm learning from this thread it's that everyone is different and that's a real help to those of us who are still waiting. Am off to the hospital for a check up later to find out if I'm healed enough to start chemo. Wish me luck!!

Hugs to all our brave bunnies
Sara B xxxx

[margietee]

Hi little chick, pixie and others starting out this week. It is scary, no doubt about that, but you'll honestly feel so relieved once you've got this first one out of the way.

I'm up for my second next week and am trying to brainwash myself away from thinking of this as poison but rather as medicine to make me better, ie thinking of it as good stuff going in not nasty bad stuff. It's sort of helping.

Elaine and I have been so lucky with small side effects - I feel almost embarrassed that mine have all been slight, almost as if I don't deserve a place in the warren cos I haven't been bad. I feel so fortunate but realise it may not be so good next time or the time after. We'll see.

So good luck to everyone and remember it's not poison going in, but good medicine.
Positive thinking ....

Love and virtual hugs, Margieteex

[Guest user]

Good luck today LittleChick, Vanns and Pixie. I know you will all be fine and remember we will all be here waiting for you when you get back.

Thank you Vanns for letting me know about the Apple & Ginger.

Love and hugs to you all

Natalie xxx

[Guest user]

Vanns, I hope you got some sleep. I'm wide awake listening to the snoring 🙂 had a wonderful email from a good friend and it's cheered me up no end. Just as well really, phone call from my mum who is definitely cracking up, text from sis who talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk IYKWIM . I'm very lucky to have a good friend and a wonderful hubby who even offered to put on a high voice and go and have the chemo for me, then gave me a big hug. Gotta laugh, he's a gorgeous 6 foot 16 stone dark Irishman don't think I'd get away with it somehow 🙂

So here we go on the journey, good luck to those starting today - that's me, vanns and pixie and others ( forgive me for forgetting names). I'm scared stiff too. Xx

[Guest user]

Hi all,

My first course is next Tuesday (1st May) - so I guess I'm kinda trespassing atm, but am so glad I did! Pixie - so sorry to hear about the horrific fitting! I hope you feel better and have lots of fuss made of you.

I was going to ask for a portacath 'cos I have such rubbish veins - thank you for making me reconsider !

{{Hugs}} to all,

Merc
xxxx

[Guest user]

Hi all,
I'm hoping there might be some bunnnies still up cos I'm in the wide awake club. I start tomorrow and as someone said earlier it's like standing looking up at everest with flip flops on. I'm really nervous and have adrenaline coursing through me. I was really hoping chief bunny pixie had a breeze with the portacath cos I too may have to have one. I kind of knew it was a bit unpleasant when my BCN shot me a look when she heard I had been recommended one by my ONC team. Anyway it's good to hear that people are staring to feel a bit better as at one point ( page 26 ish ) nearly everyone was either feeling crap or low or worried. I guess what I'm trying to say rather badly is that bad days will both come and more importantly go. And we can get through this together.

Nat - apple and ginger is Cawstons. I get it from waitrose but I'm guessing nearly all supermarkets sell it.

Whoever it was with sore back and legs. The long bones are the site of blood cell production and you will have been given a drug to encourage this to occur. This can be a painful process but should pass after a few days. The upside is your long distance running will get better, downside being you will be banned as a drug cheat and never be allowed to compete in the Olympic games - lol

Myxi soph x

[Guest user]

Hi bunnies

Well done Pixie for getting through your Portacath experience without the sedation, I think I would have ran away. In your post yesterday you mentioned the apple and ginger juice, where can I get some and what make is it? I know it has been mentioned earlier on but can't remember what was said now. Good luck for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. I won't be far away as going into work tomorrow and I am based in Wakes Colne.

I went for blood test today and look around chemo ward. I haven't been sleeping well since Sunday and have been feeling sick. Thought I was ok but obviously not and it must be worrying me, nurse said I wouldn't be human if I wasn't feeling like this. She put my mind at rest whilst talking to me. I will be sent home with a bag of drugs for different things and they also include antibiotics incase you get an infection. I will have my own room and can do pretty much anything, read, sleep, play on laptop etc so I may start posting during my session, lol. The district nurse will start coming in from Sunday for 10 days to give me injection to boost white blood cells. So roll on 10.30am on Friday, let's get session 1 of TAC out the way....don't know if I will be saying that on Thursday night 😕

Carol, I really hope they don't want to operate on you again, but best get it checked out. Let us know how you get on.

Hyzenthlay, glad to hear you aren't suffering with the SE's too much at the moment.

Off to sleep now, but love to you all.

Natalie xxx

[Guest user]

Good Evening Bunnies

First of all well done to every one who had first chemo this week and good luck to all of you starting tomorrow. Pixie the portcath sounds horrid - I got the PICC line and that was bad enough- I still can't bear to look at it!

I'm going into work tomorrow and am working myself up cause of my hair - it's so short and I look awful! as my son said its like a boys! but theres still loads there for me not to need a wig or scarf. I'm terrified everyone will think I look wierd !

I know I sound really vain and I shouldn't care, but I do! My daughter said I should hold my head up high I've done nothing wrong- so I will go in with short hair and try and be brave but I do feel so embarrassed and am cringing inside- i just hope i dont go red !! I guess my hair was my identity and now it's gone I don't know who I am anymore! but like the ONC said life goes however much I want to hide away for the next year I should try and have a life.

Still got awful ache in lower back I didnt have the injection for white cells - but I have no temperature so guess it is
just another sneaky SE.

Hyzenthlay pleased you feel ok - did you have FEC?

Gosh Lee You go girl/- im hoping i get an appetite before the next poisoning. Initially when my nausea subsided I went mad and just ate and ate even though I really didn't want it. Unfortunately my tummy got so full I was in agony it felt like it was going to
pop like out of Alien so painful. So I'm back to just eating small snacks - I really don't feel hungry at all!

Lots of love to everyone and hopefully tomorrow is a good day for all

Sarah xxx

[Hyzenthlay]

No SEs really so far, a little queasy and slightly headachey. And some wind.

So I am in bed sipping water and having some crystallised ginger sweeties. But I am just being lazy really.

Pixie, you certainly earned your bunny badge for bravery!

Good luck to those starting tomorrow, and best wishes to everyone,

Hyzenthlay
xx

[Guest user]

Hello ladies/bunnies, I have been for my blood test today so hope no infections stop me from starting chemo on Thursday at 10:00!!! I went to see the Breast care nurse as I have a problem with a big red (looks like a strawberry birth mark) area over my chest area (where I had the mx and also half the boob that is left). I think it is is where the Echo cardiologist was pressing too hard as it had bruised first but the BCN thinks I should see the consultant before I start chemo!!!

I have an appointment at 3pm tomorrow so fingers crossed there is nothing wrong. The BCN did say they may want to operate again : o to take out anything that is causing this problem. I hope not as I was hoping to start the treatment this week!! Oh well will see what they say tomorrow.

Hugs and best wishes to you all.

Carol

[Guest user]

Wow lee that's an appetite to be proud of! Poor pixie, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself after throwing up when I had the injection for the MRI, and you've had a worse day, and we both have to get our first poison tomorrow. All I could think about when I was throwing up was if I'm this bad for a stupid dye injection, how on earth am I going to cope? Knackered now. Had a lovely meal planned for tonight and I don't fancy it, and just putting on a brave face for the phone calls when all I want is to crawl under the duvet and hope it all goes away.

Must pull myself together. Just think, I get to meet the wigman tomorrow, and I finally managed to order something for my head - a buff! Got the national geographic ocell one. I will NOT look like an old granny 🙂

[Sameelee3]

Hi Bunnies,
Well done to everyone today; enjoy reading all the stories. Best wishes to all those suffering SE's today.

Day six post chemo for me and I have the appetite of someone three times my size. What is going on? I'm usually able to survive on three smallish meals a day, one of them a salad, with the odd handful of almonds for a snack. No more. Today I ate: porridge, prunes, blueberries, yoghurt, a hot cross bun from the freezer, two huge harissa/humus/bean sandwiches, a bottle of apple juice. Then, carrot, apple, avocado and and humus toast at about 4pm, vegetable stew and rice just now, followed by more peanut butter toast.... and it's only 6 o'clock. I know I'll want to eat again in an hour. I feel constantly hungry and don't know whether this is my body saying " yes, give me good food so that i can get better" or, " I'm just gonna pile on the pounds and you can't do a thing about it." Help! Is anyone else feeling like this? It's certainly not normal for me!
The flip side, of course, is that everything tastes great and I'm not craving chocolate or cakes.... I am spending too much time thinking about food.......
Lee
x

[Guest user]

Hi PP. You always manage to make us laugh even when talking about your own health. Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow.

Christine xx

[libby12]

Hi all, Pixie what a day you had , so glad you coped with it all ok, and good luck for tomorrow. Tracy glad you are feeling much better, do you like green tea, I drink loads of it, Twinings with pomegranete is good.
Angela I had the cold cap and on day 14 so far so good, but I know its early days, but I refuse to give up my hair without a fight, so I will remain positive.
Samlee I agree with you, before I was diagnosed with BC I spent alot of time stressing and worrying about silly things, so when this is over I am going to address my life, and stop worrying and start enjoying each day, because really thats all we have. I will stop there as I am preaching, but you know what I mean. Gadget girl we have our next chemo on the same day so I will send you a virtual hug on the day, we will be fine. Anyhow the evening here is beautiful of off for a short walk. Love to all Elaine.

[pesteringpixie]

Good afternoon bunnies

Well, here I sit with my feet up on the couch sporting a large "I am very brave badge". I earned it too.

Got to hospital 8.30this morning for portacath operation. Changed into hospital gown and my bed socks and bed jacket and into bed. Then got wheeled all over the rambling hospital to radiotherapy dept, what a spectacle.

Into radiotherapy ops room, feeling okay as knew I was having local anaesthetic and sedation. Wrong. No sedation on offer. We prefer not to sedate here I am told. OMG, nearly did a runner. But... I didn't. Laid there for an hour being sliced and pushed and pulled whilst they got 30cm catheter threaded through my jugular to my heart and then fastened it to titanium port.

Have 2incisions, one about 2cm above collar bone and one on my chest about 4cm both with long black stitches in.

Took me back to ward where I was monitored for 2hours then OH came to get me - yes, did all this on my own some.

Got into car and pulled mirror down and nearly died. I was wearing v neck sweater. The whole of my neck and chest are painted bright orange with 2clear dressings covering blood and stitches. I look as if I have been brawling with Tango man - and I got wheeled through the main foyer of the hospital looking like that. No wonder every bu**er was smiling at me!

Anyway, another procedure over and done with. Also got a good chance to read all my notes and path report whilst I was in transit. Discovered I also have high grade dcis in my poorly boob. also read full adjuvant. 4 FEC, 15rads to whole boob, 5 rads to tumour site, 18 x herceptin 5yrs endocrine therapy. 3monthly MUGA scans and bone scans.

Goodness, think I shall move our caravan to hospital car park.

Anyway, chemo tomorrow so hope swelling around portacath subsides.

Have read all your posts and lovely to hear SEs are lessening for many of you. Not responding individually this time, as on iPad and not as easy to scroll.

Much love to all the bunnies in the warren and a special hug to the myxi bunnies

Pixie xx

[Guest user]

Hi ladies
I am now on day 7 of my first cycle. Actually not feeling too bad after the initial wobble last Tuesday evening before. So far have not felt sick just being very tired with heavy eyes,but improved today. Tried to upload/download an Easter bunny pic yesterday, but just succeeded in deleting my Michael Buble wallpaper instead and not found how to retrieve it yet, so not happy on that score!
Managed to get out for walk today inbetween the showers and have signed up for the local race for life in June.
Did anyone else try the coldcap and how have they found it? So far so good! I would like to try one of the lookgoodfeel good workshops is there anyone in the Wiltshire area who would like to join me, I am not one for going to things on my one but would happily go with someone!
Angelaxx