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Starting chemo in April 2012

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Apologies, just realised I missed a load of posts. The site doesn't always update properly for me and this was one of those occasions. Sorry x
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Sara, so glad to hear from you and glad to hear the op went so well. My hand swelled after my mx, but went down next day and has been fine since, although now suffering from some numbness in the little finger side Of the same hand. Will keep my fingers crossed for you for 6th. I'm so pleased for you that the neoadjuvant chemo helped shrink your tumour. Bet you thought the op is a breeze after chemo 🙂 hope you get a good nights sleep. Xx

Gadgetgal, sorry to hear about yourbackache. Hope you get some relief soon, and heargnaws of your opmsoon. The not knowing and waiting around must be hard.

Christine, hope your hands and feet feel better soon. It's hard enough without nasty viruses on top!

Wendy, hope today went well. No cough for me but I take strong steroid inhalers and nasal sprays every day for asthma and rhinitis and think this has really helped prevent the sinus ses that most others have suffered.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well. Xxx
libby12
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone . Sarabee and Gaynor moan away, I have for the last two days, the swollen glands in my neck have been getting me down and I am sorry to keep on about them, although I spoke to the BC nurse I was still not happy. Anyhow when I was having my rads today I spoke to the nurse there, she said to have a chat with the doctor at the clatterbridge centre, and he saw me after my treatment w ich was great . I explained what I was worried about, and he checked me over, and gave me the all clear, he was very reassuring and I felt so much better that someone had listened and took notice , he also said he understood that every lump and bump was a worry, and that I could see someone any time I was worried. Sara have as much rest as you can, and just look after you, I hope you recover quickly. Hilary felt a bit panicky having my rads today, dont know why , anyhow it really helped to to close my eyes and transport myself to the spa, it calmed my down, till it was over. The rads took longer than normal today, as they were taking photos to check that my lungs were ok, as the treatment affects a little of my lungs, anyhow everything was ok, but I was glad it was over, does anyone feel tired after rads i have a sleep when I get home. Sorry not to mention everyone, my memory is still as bad if not worse, but I am thinking of you all. Off to bed rads are early tomorrow, then thank god for the weekend. Love to all Elainexxxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Pepihorse. I did a couple of injections myself when I had a row with my mum and didon't want to ask!

Its a subcutaneous jab so any fleshy part will do. I found the thigh easiest because I havechunky legs and can 'pinch' quite a bit for the needle!

The advice i got was to take them at bedtime
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Sara- so glad you have a friend staying with you. Wishing you a speedy recovery and clear margins xx

Hilary-laughed out loud at your post today. When I got into the rad room today there was a male radiographer. My brain initially thought "don't get your boobs out in front of a man". Within ten seconds it had reassessed the situation and I whipped off my t-shirt and bra. Rads unit didn't have any gowns when I went for my first one, so just stripping off in the room. I think one of the other bunnies said they do this but I can't remember who.

I have a dilemma after today. Onc has offered me tamoxifen with daily clexane injections for five years (I have been doing these myself during chemo so not tied to a district nurse), or letrozole for five years with a monthly injection of hormones to shut down my ovaries (I was premenopausal before chemo). Neither option sounds nice, think I am in favour of monthly rather than daily injections. The side effects and effectiveness don't seem too much different for each option. Need to have a read up (not on google) and a think.

Wishing all bunnies well xx
pepihorse
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Thanks everyone, well had last Tax today, feeling fine at the moment but will be expecting the tax truck by the weekend. Surprise surprise, after last episode of infection/low neutrophils etc, this time they have given me the filgrastim? spelling? injections for 5 days, going to attempt them myself, start Monday - eek? So my budget hospital had to spend a little more money on me Im afraid, even though when I asked about these injections that many of you get, they told me they dont give them unless absolutely necessary, and not many people have them, but after last weeks infection, they actually let me have them, heres hoping they work, nurse told me to expect pain with them.... more pain????? Ive got enough at the moment ! Oh well, lets hope the Oramorph helps !!!
Has anyone else done the injections themselves??? I thought I could do it, but not so sure now Im home !!!!. Might get friend to do it, who used to be a nurse. any advice with these injections???
Take care everyone, we are nearly there as you say.

Wendy xxxxx

sarabee2012
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

GMT!!! Forgot you in my list. Moan away honey and let's go commando together as a protest against bc and SEs!!!
Hang on in there bunny xx

GMT
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone,
Glad your op went well Sara and you are now back home. Sorry no news on your op Gadgetgirl, but it will happen eventually. Have a good break Sarabee, you deserve it, as do we all deserve some nice things to happen to us.
2 weeks past last chemo and yesterday felt much better, so was a bit floored when I had a complete melt down in the middle of the night. Couldn't sleep and the old bc monster came and bit me on the bottom. The fluff that had started to grow back seems to have dropped out and not much seems to be happening. I have been going commando and had felt quite comfortable, now my hair feels like an issue again. I don't want to be bald any more. I start rads on Monday, only just over 2weeks from end of chemo, saw onc today and been given Letrozole to start taking tomorrow plus calcium tabs to counteract osteoporosis. I feel on a never ending treadmill as Im sure we all do. I know I shouldn't read about SE's, but don't want joint pain, hair loss!!! How can you have hair loss when you haven't got any!! I know in 3 weeks the rads will be done and I can start to look to the future but I'm feeling like life will never be the same again, which I suppose it won't. Sorry for being so moany but I feel really sorry for myself today.
I am grateful that I can have this treatment on the NHS and need to count my blessings but today I just don't feel like it!!!! Just needed to get that all of my chest.
Hope most of us are doing ok and if not, big hugs and lots of love to all.
Gaynor xx

sarabee2012
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Wow lots of posts to answer and for once I am feeling very compus mentus!!! In fact, over the last few days am beginning to feel like I'm coming out of the fog. Physically still tired but even getting up in the morning is a little easier.
Sara12 - so glad you have someone coming to stay. I didn't get to the thread quick enough to wish you good luck (not that you need it) but am happy you're back home. I stayed in just 24 hours after my op as I hate being in hospital wards - you can never get any rest. Re. the swelling - speak to your GP (phone not visit) just to get it checked over. And rest loads. Healing takes time so don't push yourself too hard.
Big M - good for you staggering the wedding and getting through the day. Am still pretty tired myself - even walking from the car park to the hospital gets me out of breath! We need to take it slowly you know!! I had no real sickness issues, but did suffer terribly from mouth ulcers which stopped me eating. And ever since I am eating smaller portions and sometimes just can't even manage to eat much at all because I just can't seem to taste anything. However, I am drinking gallons of milk and eating a little of what I fancy when I fancy it. I seem to be okay for lunch but dinner time seems too much for me to cope with. Sorry you have to have further surgery too - when you're feeling a bit better, let's reschedule our lunch! And yes, I get ratty and short-tempered too, so take it as normal at the moment and don't worry too much.
Little Chick & Sameelee - it was me mentioned the tea sets, can't wait to get out to some car boot sales and get some more! Tea shop with home made maccarons sounds fabulous! I feel a chain of vintage tea shops named Bunnies coming on... lol!!! Talking of which I love GBBO (Great British Bake Off) and am currently watching the Celebrity Masterchef too. As a very bad cook I am determined to improve my skills next year and am planning a baking course. That'll kill off the tea shop then lol!!! I have no excuse because my mother is a fantastic baker and makes all the kids cakes and batches of rock cakes for my daughter to take back to uni everytime she comes home. However, cakes tarts and pies are not supposed to be on my diet for next year to get healthy. Oh well...
MarGie - thanks for the thoughts about the tattoos. I still look like I have biro on my chest but am now trying to disguise it if possible with some long and elaborate necklaces. Might need Sameelee's vintage stuff to help but am no longer sulking about it. Lol!! I think it was just the fact that I was told you get this and this and then they did it without really asking if I was okay with it.
Sameelee - I haven't read or watched anything relating to bc but might give this one a go. Sounds like it might help me get my head in perspective!
Pepihorse - I felt crap on the day I had my rad pre-treatment assessment. They do tend to book these things close together and as I was day 7 after the last chemo I felt pretty weak, tearful and sweaty. But at least once you are done, you are moving to the next stage of our journey. I'll be thinking of you and hoping it all goes well.
Chrisp1e - hope you start to feel better soon. It can't have helped with the extra drugs and illness. Go back to sleep and let Campo soothe you with some lovely sea breezes. I had a few days back when I just got up to go to the loo and then back to bed to sleep so let your body tell you when to rest. Hope you enjoyed the wedding though.
Gadget-girl - I am still pretty bald too although I have a smattering of hair on my head. Not enough to keep me warm though, as I now wear a beany hat to bed like a little premature baby. Funny thing is I'm more bothered by the wig than the hair loss - just wish I was brave enough to go "commando". And the one eyebrow going has made me look pale and a bit interesting!! Who knew we would have to deal with these things. I know you're facing surgery too and I completely understand about the sympathy thing too. A week after my surgery I was back at the clinic for a check up and had to wait such a long time as they were running late. I felt so ill I had to get them to get a chair to put in the entrance way because I thought I was going to pass out. The unit was packed and I felt so embarrassed because I seemed to be making a fuss about having to wait when all I wanted to do was just go home and lay down. I try not to make a fuss these days but even so, I would have loved sometimes to whip the wig off and say "look I'm still ill" even though I look okay with the wig and the make up. Some people don't get it so don't worry especially as doctors receptionists can be the worst!!
Campo - loved the horse riding, might book that again if available. I know I should stop worrying about work so called them and told them I will pop in next week with my sick cert and that I am going to be off for another month at least before I think about coming back. Amazingly, I felt much better after that lol!! But you can still send over the hunkiest punkawallah to tie me to the hammock... ooh came all over 50 shades of grey then... lol!!! Thanks for the brilliant walk today, just what I needed to visualise next time I'm in for my rads.
RachelP, Pixie, Southpool, Ambarose - waving hello at you as didn't want you to feel left out of this marathon post.
Went for a complementary reflexology session at hospital today. Was lovely and relaxing and I got a clean bill of health on my feet too! Actually really enjoyed the session so might have another one soon. Still not quite as good as the facilities at Spa del Campo, but needs must.
Finally, am packing today for our weekend away courtesy of the grant we got from the Macmillan Trust. Two days in a hotel with no worries about anything - I can't wait. We're off to a place near Chichester which is another area we know well so plenty of mooching around and walking by the sea. My OH is so exhausted that it'll be good for him too.
Okay bunnies that's it for now. Hope all of you are resting loads and thinking about your party pieces for Bunnyfest! I'm still practicing the Barry Manilow medley while watching the Paralympics. And talking of which, how good was that opening ceremony? Was in floods of tears at little Miranda being hoisted around the stadium - shows there really are no limits!!!
Love and peace,
Sarabee xxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Sara12 – Writing this so it is here when you get out - WELCOME BACK HOME BUNNY – Hoping everything went well with the op. So wishing I was there to look after you on your return home as I am sure are all the other bunnies. So just you hop into bed and know that I am there to mop your brow, rub those ears and ease away all your pains. You are such a brave bunny! Wrote that bit earlier and now you are back home. Wow so quick. Really concerned for you Sara but so very pleased to hear that a friend is staying with you for the next couple of days. Sleep as much as possible as that is your body telling you to rest. Take care & hope the swelling and back ache goes away soon.

Chrisp1e – Hoping you are feeling better and Enjoy the wedding today - you are going look so chic with your gloves and hat – don’t forget the sun glasses even though it is pouring rain! (which I hope it is not for the bride & groom!) No doubt you will feel exhausted after the day but as long as you have had a good time it will hopefully be worth it.

Southpool – Hope you enjoyed the dune bashing. Glad you enjoyed your trip to Wales. Hope you are not working too hard either.

Pixie – You really should write a book – I am sure you could draw your Octagenarians as cartoonish type characters – similar to the horse drawings. Love the idea of of Aunty Mary on an exercise bike – you must bring photographs of these “gals” to the Bunny Fest. They are such game!

Pepihorse – Hoping today has gone well and hoping that the tax truck is run off the road before it finds your driveway.

Sarabee - I hope you are feeling better. Me also thinks you should stop worrying about work etc. I know it is difficult but you must concentrate on getting better. Be selfish and concentrate on YOU – the rest will take care of itself. Otherwise I will tie you to the nearest hammock and tease you with one the hunkiest of punkawallahs! Ps hope you enjoyed the horse riding.

Ambarose – I am sure you had a lovely time on the cruise – I love cruising – my type of holiday – a different Island/Country each day. Re your celebration for your husband’s 60th & bon voyage to your daughter & partners world trip – dancing as if no one was watching. That is so one of my must do soon ie. Dance – I want to go back to a “Disco” and dance away to the music of the 70s like no tomorrow.

RachelP – Hope you enjoyed your face massage whilst under the smiley face. Glad you are having a lovely time with your little girl.

Sameelee3 - Head massage ready when you are. Have a lovely time in Glasgow – hope it is not raining. My Mum who lives just outside of Edinburgh has lost her internet connection hub due to a storm! As far as she is concerned Autumn has arrived. Hope you are still enjoying your book – can relate to PTSD after last week! , and fully agree with the length of time it will take us to recover. My m-in-law who had a mastectomy now nearly 3 years ago and has secondary cancer (in remission just now), she is 80 years old and it has taken her until March of this year to look & feel like herself again. I know this is extreme but we have to be kind to ourselves because it may take some of us a good year before we are really up to speed. Look forward to more revelations.

Big M – Don’t be so hard on yourself – you have had a very rough year and on top of that you have to have your other breast examined and more surgery. Girl if you are only down in the dumps – you are doing well. So you snuggle down and let Bunny Hilary ease away all those nasty feelings – come hop into the hammock, (punkawallah waiting), the girls are there to massage your head, shoulders, feet & arms. You drift off to your special place.................

Little Chick – Good luck & congratulations on your last chemo . Lovely to hear that counsellor is proving useful to OH & yourself. Thank you for your concern – last week definitely not a happy bunny but a different case this week got a real bounce in my bounce.

Margietee – I hope your feet and hands get better soon – sounds so painful. But I hope you enjoyed the quad bikes and massage afterwards.

Gadget- Gal – First love your new picture – if that is you – you look great. However, really sorry to hear that your appointment has been cancelled – real bummer. Bad enough worrying about it and then they go and cancel! So you hop into a hammock – nice punkawallah waiting and the team to soothe all your stress away!

I have only 3 more session of rads (including today) and then I am finished. Tuesday, the “smiley machine” started off in a different position and scared the living daylights out of me. Think cat being held over water fear. But yesterday, back into the chamber, onto the table and instead of the normal two female staff members there was a new learner male staff member and a female nurse/technician. Found myself feeling slightly uncomfortable being dealt with by this male. (After everything we have had to go through!). Anyway machine was moved again into the new position – one blast and that was that. So surprised – got dressed quickly and surprised OH as I hopped back into waiting room, grabbed bags and left – think dog leaving vet! So if the next 3 sessions are as quick as that hallelujah.

Durings rads I am at the Spa every day. So I thought tomorrow morning instead of exercises we would spend time just walking and paddling along the beach. Listen to the waves gently lapping onto the beach , feel the gentle breeze on your faces, whiskers and fur, hear the sea. Feel the sand under your feet and the cool sea water as it laps over the top of your feet. Stand and look out across the sea to the horizon feel the space and movement of the water between you and the horizon. Look to the sky and to the sea, feel the freedom & space. Looking out over the sea feel as if the breeze could gently lift you and you are fluttering in the breeze. Ease yourselves back down gently and continue to walk along the water’s edge listening to the waves lapping the beach.

Hugs & kisses to ALL Bunnies

Hilary xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Sara,

Glad the op went well. Thanks for sharing the details. Here's to a good recovery and clear margins!
sara12
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi all, thanks for all your good wishes. Just a short post to say I'm back home now and things went reasonably well. Op was delayed. Got to hospital at 7:15am. They put two wires in at 9am and then was due to go into surgery at 10:30am but anaesthetist was worried about my swollen leg so had to have a heart scan(for any weakness due to chemo) and leg scan (for clots) before he'd go ahead. Was very impressed with how thorough he was being to ensure my safety - especially as I'm scared of GAs. Luckily heart and leg OK so eventually had op at 4pm.
Glad to be home - really difficult to sleep on the ward. As far as I can tell, they haven't taken too big a chunk out of me, and only took two nodes as they seemed to be negative, which is good. Have to go back on the 6th to get full results so am keeping fingers crossed that the margins of what they took were clear so I won't need further surgery.
At the moment I'm feeling OK as long as the painkillers are working but still feel a bit weak and my wretched back is really causing problems - more painful that the op scars at the moment! My surgeon said she wants me to exercise more to help with leg swelling etc but my back is so painful, and I get breathless still, so I really can't walk very far. She also said that, long term, regular exercise helps to guard against recurrence of bc.
Did anyone else get swelling of hand and lower arm immediately after surgery? I asked the surgeon if that was 'normal' and she said no! She did say it was too soon for it to be caused by lymphedema though. My leg swelling still unexplained - I may go to my GP when I'm up to it - it seems odd to still have it so long after my fall - and I've never had it after previous falls.
Sorry this post is all about me, and no-one else - I have read and paid attention to your posts though. I'm feeling pretty tired after hardly any sleep on the ward and intend to have a nap. A friend is coming to stay for a couple of nights, so it will be nice to have someone around and at least I won't be trapped in the house for a couple of days!
Sara x

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi,

I’ve been "lurking" via emails to my phone but haven't been able to type a proper coherent post till now (I’m actually at work waiting for my programs to finish loading!)

Just a general note to all of you (and maybe a reminder to myself) whatever you're feeling or having trouble with, this is you getting through this!! I think Sameelee's advice is spot on. Maybe we count weeks or days since last chemo because we've been having 3 week cycles? It’s easy to discount the cumulative effects.

With regards to the hands and feet, I had terrible problems after Tax 1 and my skin peeled off in sheets! It was unsightly and I keep my feet covered all the time but I was pleased it was peeling off because FEC gave me dark - blackened - hands and feet. I had expected hyperpgmentation but not like that!

Big M, I completely empathise with the eating problems. That feeling where you're hungry but can't eat? So you're weak and faint and you know you should eat but you *can't*? Hang in there. It does get better

Regarding re-growth, it's been 28 days I am pretty much still bald. I have some feint wispy hair if you stand right next to me and study my scalp. It's funny to hear people talk about fuzzy re-growth when I had thick afro hair all my life and get wispy re-growth!

I've still got horrible back ache which limits my activity. On Tuesday I thought I'd go for a walk around the park, 2.5 km around. I managed it and felt great for it. However, my back started aching double later on; and I needed a wheelchair for my hospital appointment (eye clinic). The receptionist didn’t say anything but kept giving me the *you don’t look sick to me* look.

Sometimes I wonder if I should explain to stop them thinking I’m a lazy cow, would I just be a sympathy seeker then??

On the surgery front, my appointment on Friday with the surgeon was cancelled yesterday! I was disappointed and annoyed because it had been two weeks since the scan until the letter came last Friday. Apparently it's because the lead surgeon at the other hospital didn't see the scans himself, so I'll see him at the next MDT.

So, another 6 days ‘til I know if I get a lumpectomy or mastectomy....
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Thanks to everyone for kind wishes. The infection is due to the coxsackie virus. My hands and feet are a lot better though still tender. It was like what you get with Taxotere but with anpther dose on top of it. I feel like my shoes are pinching my toes but I've been wearing them for ages and they were OK before this. When I put my hands into warm water my fingers felt like they'd been scalded.
Big M - sorry you're not feeling good just now but congrats on getting through the wedding. My niece gets married today but it's not in a hotel or anywhere that I could go and have a rest. So I'll just have to keep going.
Sara - hope everything went well with your surgery. Sending hugs to you.
Lee - PTSD describes exactly how I feel right now that chemo is finished. I hadn't hought of it like that before but it makes sense. We've been through all the stress of diagnosis and treatments, but we expect to be able to pick up where we left off with no problem. Some people probably can but others like myself are finding a bit of difficulty with it all. I can't even concentrate enough to read a full page of a magazine article.
Wendy and margie - yea had all the same problems with hands and feet but didn't have the peeling. I don't have great nails normally but they are a comlete mess just now.
Hope everyone is coping. Sorry to those I haven't mentioned but I need to get back to bed and try to get some sleep. I go from one extreme to another. Either sleepy sickness or insomnia.
Christine xxx
pepihorse
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Thank you ladies for your good wishes for tomorrow, had my teleclinic today (where nurse rings to see how everything is and confirms if blood count ok) she says that chemo is on for tomorrow but wants me to see Dr. first because the cough is still there, and still have bad pains in feet and hands and hips now too ! sounds like the same as you Margie, and Christine, looks like we have the same problem there, my feet have also starting to peel a bit now too. Does anyone else have or had a cough with Taxotere? it maybe left over from my chest infection, as only finished the 7 days anti-biotics on Sunday morning. Will find out tomorrow I suppose....
Hope your operation went well Sara.
So many side effects, that we all get, and such alot of different ones too, its exhausting! They have also given me a new date for my Radiothereapy scan/assessment/tattoo its 8 days from tomorrow when I have the chemo, and I feel sure I will still feel crap on day 8 after chemo, as I usually do ! so not looking forward to that, Thet really do rush you into Rads at this hospital! I really would prefer a bit of a break first !
Best wishes everyone.
Wendy x

Sameelee3
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Dear all, I just need to share this with you. I ordered a book called After Breast Cancer, by Hester Hil Schnipper, and it arrived earlier today. I have only just picked it up and am very impressed. It is completely brilliant, in that it describes everything that I have felt and am feeling.... she even ( p 45) likens some responses to the end of treatment to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- which is exactly what I remember feeling, and even posting, here.
She says that we shouldn't expect to be back to normal too soon- eg " count the weeks from diagnosis until the day of your final treatment.... That is how long it is likely to take to feel really well. Maybe this is a bit worrying for those of us on Herceptin for a while yet, but it certainly helps to get things in perspective. Anyway, Bunnies, just wanted to enthuse a bit, because the first couple of chapters have been spot on and I would ideally like my OH and my son to read it. Will keep going and post any more gems if you are interested.
Much love
Lee
xxx

margietee
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Ah, since starting my mammoth posting Big M and Little Chick have both posted. Good to hear from you both.

Mary have you spoken to anyone about your throat etc? It sounds as if it needs some attention, perhaps some antibiotics. Im sure we all have times when we get very down. I tend to get weepy when I'm down and I am so fed up with myself for feeling wimpy. We all just want to be well - and we will be again. I'm so Sorry you have the possible prospect of further surgery on the horizon, but good that it is non cancerous. Nevertheless I can understand it getting you down, along with all the on going side effects of chemo etc. Hunker down in the warren, have a treatment or two in the campo spa and know that we are all wih you.

Little chick, well done you on doing a longer email. Great. I'm really pleased to hear the counselling has been helpful.

Must get on now and do something, like drink the cup of tea I made a while ago and watch eggheads on tv. It is an exciting life!

Love, margie xxx

margietee
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hello lovely bunnies.

Ive just been making a list of everything I want to say and I think this may be a very long posting .....

First, Sara I have been thinking of you all day and sending positive vibes. Hope you are soon feeling fine after your surgery.send us all a quick posting as soon as you're up to it to let us know how it went.

Pixie, I am still laughing from the Mac 3 + 1 saga. Hilarious and thankfully no serious after effects. I actually take my hat off to your Mum for doing herfirst BBQ at 82. Your special happy bags for the chemo nurses sound fab. Good to hear the contract has gone off to the hotel for the bunnyfest. Look forward to getting my email of further info and so pleased we have decided to stay the night so I won't be in a rush at all. The overnight rate you negotiated was really good.

Rachel, yes, very proud of you. Go girl!

Christine, hope your hand foot and mouth is clearing up. Nasty. Mind you, apart from the itching the symptoms sound just like my peripheral neuropathy probs that I've got as a result of taxotere. My feet and hands are a nightmare. I feel as if all the muscle fibres are stretched as far as they can be, and have pain and numbness in my fingers, toes, up the sides of my feet and under my heels. Can't wait for it to sort itself out.

Sarabee, hope your tattoos are no longer sore and sorry to hear one is in a noticeable position. I'm very fortunate that mine are all in hidden places. One would show if I wore a strapless top but I haven't done that for about 20 years or more. They are also very small and faint so hardly visible.

Ambarose, enjoy your cruise. Tell us all about it when you ae back.

Big M do a posting please and let us know you are OK and that you weren't too miffed by us rejecting the idea of starting a new thread .... And vanns, you are still being too quiet. Let us know you are ok. Nat, not heard from you for a while ....

Sameelee your business idea sounds good. Can't wait to have a link to your website when it is up and running.

Southpool, what is GBBO? Do you have a holiday home in north Wales?

Libby,sorry to hear you are still so tired. How are the glands?

Wendy, good luck for tomorrow. Last one ..... Little chick, you'll soon be on your last one too.

Hilary, I'll opt for the quad biking please. Not done this for a while but I loved it when I did do it. Exhilarating. I was very fortunate in one job I did that I got to go on all sorts of adventure things - off roading, driving on a race track and I think I've previously mentioned test driving cars on a frozen lake 125 miles north of the arctic circle .... And after the quads, lots of massage and perhaps a facial please.

Sorry for anyone I've missed .... Thinking of you all.

Lots of love, margie xxxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Mary, sorry I cross posted you. Yes, I get very irritable when I'm down. I'm sure everyone does. Try to forgive yourself, it's perfectly understandable and quite normal to feel like that. We've all been through a lot. Xxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Lol thanks lee 🙂 someone was saying last week about wanting tocollect 50s tea sets and I can't remember who it was but you talking about vintage china reminded me. Anyway, I have a huge collection of 50s & 60s Midwinter china, all,packed up,in about 40 cardboard boxes since we moved 4 years ago. Nowhere to put it. I love china and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Was all picked up,really cheap at the auctionbefore the auctions got popular with all these tvshows. Anyway, I digress. What with my china and hubby's old valve radios we probably should open a museum.
I took some photos this morning of all the swallows lining up on the wires. I remember being so pleased to be alive and seeing the first ones arrive around the time we all started chemo, and now they are getting ready to leave it seems sad. But we are sending off about a dozen from the two pairs that have been nesting in our barns, so they've done pretty well this year.

Ive been thinking about Sara today and hope her op has gone well. Fingers crossed for the results. Good luck rads people, I'm hopeful of escaping those. Blood counts were ok today, so one more week and I should be getting last chemo. Oh, saw counsellor yesterday again and have found it useful. Definitely recommended to everyone. This lady is paid for by one of the cancer charities and is a specialist in cancer so has a lot of understanding. Anyway, I found it useful and I'm sure there are similar services around the rest of the uk.

Hope you are ok Hilary, haven't heard from you for a couple of days. You mustn't feel guIlty for having a good moan if you need one, we've ALL been through a lot these last few months and all need a good rant once in a while.

There, that's about all I can remember for today. Not bad for me ha ha 🙂 sorry for not mentioning everyone by name. I hardly ever seem to be on the desktop these days and it's nearly impossible to keep track of posts.
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone

I have not posted for a few days - I went to Yorkshire for my nephew's wedding at the weekend. Just about made it through in short bursts. I went to the ceremony and start pf photos for 2 hours, went to bed for an hour and a half, returned for the wedding breakfast and speeches for two and a half hours then took to my bed for the night at 7:30. At least I was there but I really did feel ill and still do.

I must be made of different material from normal people - I have no problems at all with hands and feet or sweating, but my mouth, throat and ears are just excruciating and have been for weeks. I have lost loads of weight because eating is so painful that after two mouthfuls the pain is more important than the hunger so I stop eating. I drink at least 6 pints of water a day because my mouth and throat are so dry.

Gadget-gal - I know it was days ago, but I have just read your silver linings and really related to them. It was really nicely written

Pixie - like everyone else I just loved your story. Will send email address now

Samilee - vintage jewellery idea is ace.

Now I have finished chemo I have an appointment for an MRI on the other breast which has some kind of non-cancerous growth. They found it back in March but wanted to leave it until they had dealt with the mastectomy. It means I still have the possibility of further surgery hanging over me which is a pain. I am quite down in the dumps to be honest. I think I'll go back to my quiet warren corner. Do others get ratty and short-tempered when they feel down? I do, and I can feel myself being miserable and not good company but I can't help it.

Keep posting - it's all very interesting to read.

Love

Mary xxxx
Sameelee3
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Good luck Sara, hope everything goes well. Great Mac 3stories, pixie. Trust you had a goOd shopping trip, Christine, and I am sure you will look fab at the wedding. Enjoy the cruise, Ambarose; I have never been on one myself, but friends have and they had a wonderful time. Sarabee, would love to have a teashop with vintage china, selling home- made maccarons, and my arty stuff on the wall. Maybe a Vintage clothes rail as well. Let's do it.
Good luck Wendy with last chemo. You are nearly there. Elaine, hope you perk up soon. Southpool, would enjoy working on a piece for you mum. Can talk at bunny fest. I hope to have some decent pictures and even an live website by then. OH and I planning a short trip to Glasgow next week, to see family. Looking forward to it so much- will be lovely to get away, especially at the start of a new term, when I would usually be trying to remind myself that i can stand in front of a class of 17 year olds and sound as if I know what I'm talking about.
Hilary, could do with a head massage- stimulating oils, please. Am now half a stone overweight, so a long exercise session would help too. Need to lose it fast as suspect hormone tablet's will make me wantto eat for England. Little Chick, love your short, forgetful posts.
See you all later, have a good day, everyone.
Lee
X

sara12
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Just popping in to say thanks to Pixie and Southpool for your good wishes. I've been trying to do washing and cleaning etc so don't have to do it when I get back from op - but back is killing me now and I have to keep sitting down. Managed to get all the rubbish and recycling out and hope my neighbour will move the bins for me ready for Thursday morning. Fridge and freezer are stocked up so I should be OK for a week or so.

Removed my nail varnish ready for tomorrow and was shocked by the state of my nails - they look gruesome. Shall be repainting them as soon as I'm compos mentis again! As for hair regrowth league table you can certainly put me at the bottom - not a sign of any regrowth anywhere.

Well, I still have stuff to do and should get an early night as have to be at the hospital by 7:30am tomorrow. Will post again when I get back home.

Sara x

libby12
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Just a quick one to wish Sara good luck for tomorrow, sending you lots of hugs. Pixie laughed about your Aunt Mary cycling through Emmerdale the vision it brings to mind!!! has she got the lycra pants. Sorry its so short not feeling so good and very tired, I have felt like this for a few days. Post tomorrow Love to all Elainexxx

pesteringpixie
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Evening bunnies

A real quickie.... as want to wish Sara lots of love anf bunny wishes for tomorrow..... will be thinking of you as I sit in the chemo suite being dosed up with steroids and herceptin 🙂

had my first rads today... lot less eventful than chemo. Was given my own rads pinny that pops open to reveal the area for treatment - i am allocated number 33.... lots of funny concepts come to mind... come in number 33, your radds are up....

Christine I have no idea what hand foot and mouth is - sounds as if you should have bumps-a-daisy in there as well..... get some sassy satin gloves for wedding, wear shades and an exotic turban and tell them you have converted to islam!

Southpool, I had a 6 week break since ending chemo and starting rads and am glad I did - suspect the drudge of the drive to and from hospital every day is going to become tiresome.

Tomorow I have rads at 8.45 am and then my last visit to chemo unit, after then I will get the herceptin at home so have made some smashing special pixie bags for the chemo nurses called Happy bags for a Chemo Nurse.... Bought lovely white bags with silver butterflies on them. they contain:

A Marble ~ for the days when you lose all of yours
A Piece of String ~ for when you can no longer hold it together
A Butterfly ~ a reminder that life is beautiful but fragile
A Heart ~ because you have a special place in your patients hearts
A Rabbit ~ because you hop from patient to patient and care for all those in the MB warren
A Teddy Bear ~ so you can always get a hug
A 4 leaf clover ~ to wish you all the luck in the world
And finally ~
An Angel ~ for being with us when we have felt lost and scared and giving us hope


bet there won't be a dry eye in the unit tomorrow. Am also taking in cup cakes i have ordered.... in a bizarre way i shall miss going there but quite sure i shall 'bond' with the rads lot! Am a bonding sort of a bunny.

Auntie Mary has bought an exercise bike..... she is 82 for goodness sake. She has put it in the spare room in front of the telly and says she is going to cycle through Emmerdale. i am assuming the TV programme and not the yorkshire dales itself. Fully expecting mother to be getting a rowing machine, a multi-gym, .... something with lots of bits so she can enjoy dusting it.. Mother collects Coalport ladies and when asked why she likes them she said 'well they are so fiddly, you can have a lovely time dusting them and using a little brush to get to the tricky bits....' when she pops her clogs, i shall put a pair of marigolds, a duster and a can of Pledge in her coffin, and st peter had better watch out too if his pearly gates aren't sparkling!

Love to all..... sent contract back to Hilton today - double room booked for Margie now....

and finally...... hair. My hair is now at least 1/4" all over my head and just as dark as before.... am delighted. Eyebrows coming back but in the areas where i would pluck!

perhaps we should have vanns do us a league table for hair re-growth??? Gosh , we did it bunnies, we did bloody chemo and we are all here!!!!!!



hugs and hugs and hugs to sara


pixie
xxxx

southpool
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

Just hopping in to wish Sara the best of luck for surgery tomorrow. Will be sending positive vibes & good wishes.

Pixie I loved tge arson story & had visions of the man with the dog going home & recounting the tale to his wife over their tea. I agree you should write a sitcom.

Amba have a fab break a cruise sounds lovely & relaxing.

I have been in work today and am absolutely knackered but have had a productive day so that is good. I have my onc appointment tomorrow for my Tamaxofen tablets so hot flushes & mood swings here I come. At the moment am in two minds over delaying rads, part of me wishes I had started because it would be over sooner but the other half of me is glad of the break to remind me of being normal & I am so looking forward to our hols. Also I will have the benefit of the other bunnies experiences & will be able to keep Sara & Little Chick company!

Chrisp1e hat & gloves for the wedding sound very vintage & therefore very fashionable so make sure you work it & hope you feel well enough to enjoy the day.

Hopping off for my GBBO fix, this week without cake as no Mr Kiplings in work today!

Love & virtual hugs to all.
S x

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Managed to get up and go shopping with OH. Feet much better today but hands still spotty. Will need to cover them up for my niece's wedding on Thursday. Wedding of the year - not!
Still thinkin of and laughin at the arsonists. It's got all the qualities of a Carry on film!
Christine xxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Pixie,
Absolutely loved the latest installment of the mac 3, particularly the logic behind not calling the fire service! I laughed out loud reading that, thank you. You are so lucky they don't read anything on here!

Bunnies, you would be proud of me today, or actually some of you would have done what I just about managed not to, which was resisting the urge to tell the chemo unit receptionist to fetch me a grown-up to speak to. She booked me an appointment with the onc, and when I asked how that fitted in with my radiotherapy appt (which is, by the way, at the same hospital) she was astonished that I will be having radiotherapy every day for the next four and a half weeks!
I know people have to learn, just so frustrated with it all at the moment. Hilary, I'll be checking into the spa tomorrow for a lovely massage as I lien the smiley face.

Other than all the moaning, have had a lovely week in Portsmouth with toddler, paddling in the sea, walking in the sunshine and playing at the swings. It is all so much easier when the sun shines xx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

I too think you have a gift for writing comedy pixie - love your stories about the McMillan three 🙂 had trouble posting this morning and now I can't remember what i was going to say. Der!
ambarose
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies
Sorry not to post for a while, have now just about recovered from dreadful stomach problems after Fec 6 and was getting so worried as had big event on 25th for husbands 60th and daughter and partners bon voyage for their world trip. Fortunately it all went as planned and as I had finished chemo we secretly celebrated that as well. It was one of the best days ever- we had a brilliant party in our village hall with all our friends and relatives (during the day as cannot do" late" any more.) We had a fantastic band and danced as they say "as if no one is watching".
Managed to wear wig all day ( People who know what I have been doing for the last 5 months said it was amazing-no visible effects at all of what has happened-Did think shall I whip off the wig and see what they say then!!)
Am also going away in 2 days for holiday -short cruise-love the sea and have not seen it for over a year now- to just relax before rads start sometime soon-have not heard anything yet.
Pixie, I loved the arson story and also think a book is a must. Have PM you re bunnyfest as requested.
Am going to do some market research on cruise in their spa to compare with spa del campo. I know it won't live up to our special place as is down below decks so no chance of seeing the sea when there. That's already a minus in my view.
Love to all
Sarah

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

pixie - you need to write a book of your mum and aunties escapades. It will be a sell-out!
Sarabee - your feelings are entirely normal. You probably feel life was going along quite nicely till bc came along and wrecked everything. It's easy to say follow your heart - I need some dog training tips! - but then you worry in case it leaves you worse off than you were before. Life is never easy! I too can't afford to go back to work part-time. It will need to be full-time. No choice in the matter.
Feet are still killing me. Would help if my pooch would stop standing on my toes!
Regards to all.
Christine xxx
sarabee2012
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

OMG Bunnies - I am still here!!! Have been lurking at the back of the Spa del Campo after having my rads pre-treatment planning meeting. Came in week 2 which meant that I was already feeling dreadful - sick, sweaty and tired (natch) but have been trying to force myself to be a bit normal too which has taken it out of me.

Had the planning meeting and got the tattoos - side ones okay but sore the only one I am a bit miffed about is the one RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CLEAVAGE!!! It looks like I've written on myself with biro and I am not particularly happy about it. Rads start on 7th September for a minimum of 15 days although now they are suggesting that I have a top up of 8 extra days. Am on the trial to see if higher doses for shorter times works but still got the long straw! Means that things won't start to get back to normal until end of September at the earliest. Went in and out of the scanner thinking about the Spa and the sea and the hammock so thanks Hilary for making it bearable!

To be honest, bunns, I've been a bit of an angry bunny this week. Am so fed up of treading water and feeling like a limp dish rag. The SEs from the last chemo hit me this week and I have constantly felt like I am staggering between breathlessness, tiredness and swollen arms and lips the whole time. I look like an incontinent hobbit!!! Have taken to wearing a Rocky-style beanie hat to keep my head warm day and night. Who knew that hair was so warm? I even brushed my scalp yesterday just to remember what the action of brushing my hair felt like. I'm due to go in to work this week to catch up with my bosses but I am so embarrassed by my looks that I am seriously considering putting it off. I've not been in to the office for over 3 months now and feel very remote from them all. Worst of all I feel quite panicky when I think about going back to full time work. Truth is that if I go back to work part time I'll lose my benefits which will put us worse off so it's an all or nothing situation which is not helping. And the thought of sitting in the office all day is now not something I can bear to think about.

You all know that I've been doing dog training part time previously and I've carried on doing the odd bit during my treatment to keep me motivated but even that, at the moment, seems like a big chore. However, it's the only time I get out on my own and I do still get a kick out of helping people. I would so love to do it full time and agree with Pixie that we're all making huge life changing decisions at the moment (BTW, you'll be great as a life coach!) but even making a decision about whether to move away from this area (which currently gives me a good client base) or stay here and struggle on with the financial fall out of bc is making by my head hurt. Then there's do I want to do my own thing or just settle for a bog standard job in an office that I can do 9-5 and not worry about at weekends and evenings? Which is what I am now afraid of... lol!! Pixie I may just be your first client lol!!! And this is all making me very cross!!!!!!!!

Well done Pixie on reaching the £3000 mark - go you!! And the books sound interesting too. I have the idea of doing a series of short dog training books and then wandered off into a whole book about my experiences with bc and the benefits system which culuminated in me doing a stand up routine in a theatre and touring it round the country. And it's not all about the money these days, I just want to be happy, less stressed and comfortable... does that make sense?

Sammeelee - LOVE the idea of vintage jewellery and artwork made from pieces you can't or don't want to wear at all and other bits and bobs of nice materials and buttons etc. My daughter loves everything vintage so would be a good customer I'll bet!! I've started accumulating vintage tea sets - 1950s types - just need somewhere good to display them. Hmmm... a tea shop possibly... (oh god another idea...!) If you need any help with websites or networking at all, let me know... I bet it'll be a huge success!!!

Hot flushes - I've had them for years but never ever like these. I can feel hot and cold all in the same moment. Am driving the family mad as I had the heating on last week and was wearing socks and the hat to keep warm. According to my onc, I'm not even through the menopause yet but actually I think I'm pretty much there and so does my GP. Apparently my ovaries are still active lol!!!

Hand, foot and mouth - sounds awful - just what you need at the moment! I had a really ill day a couple of weeks back and was laid low so am sending you healing vibes!!!

Southpool - am rocking the earring thing myself. I've always liked long drop earrings so have a few nice pairs to wear and they look great with no hair. I have a little growth back but have lost most of one eyebrow and my eyelashes. Am hoping they are back soon though.

Did someone mention decluttering? Oh how I long to be able to do that. I have a lot of clutter in the garage and the loft that needs doing. OH has said we can start going through it when I'm well. Will be a huge weight (literally off my mind) to get it all sorted out!!

Hilary - can I do the horse riding? Haven't done it for over 20 years and it's on my list of things to do once this bc debarcle is over. Not very good with bikes so reckon that it's the safer option for me. I'll bring my own velvet hat and hacking jacket... lol!!!

Finally, Pixie - I cried with laughter at the social services turning up to find octogenarian, drunken arsonists. Love the fact they have a home made greenhouse and an Anderson shelter!!! You really need to write this all down... because you couldn't make it up..!!!

With much love to all our lovely fabulous bunnies and hope you're having a good bank holiday weekend wherever you are.
Sarabee xxx

pepihorse
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Brilliant story Pixie ! made me smile all through ! thank you for that ! as need something to laugh about these days!
I really think you would make a good author, you really should write a book, or even a sitcom ! You do have a way with words ! I havent actually posted on here until lately, but have read all comments from day 1, and your comments are, well, brilliant!! Sort of Bridget Jones humour !!!
Well, what with storytime and Oramorph, I feel a bit better today, got bloods Tuesday, if ok delayed chemo is now on Thursday, so here we go again, but at least will be the last one.
Have a good Bank Holiday everyone, those of you who can and havent got Tax truck at home still.........
Wendy xx

pesteringpixie
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Thank you to all the bunnies sending me their email addresses, will have something to you all by the end of the week.

Right, as Promised, story of the McMillan arsonists....

I got the whole story in retrospect and 2 versions, one from mother and one from auntie so suspect the truth is a mixture of both..

Mother has sky television, the whole package apart from the filth channels (her words) as me dad used to love his sports and mother is hooked on all the CSI stuff and the food channel. Think she has a fanatsy world as the most exotic cooking mother has done to date is to once buy a jar of cook in sauce. Whatever. Anyway, last week she was watching a programme about summer entertaining with Lorraine Pascal who was doing barbecues and it must have got into mothers head as when she went shopping with auntie mary in asda, she noticed that the disposbale barbecues were on BOGOF.

So mother buys said disposable barbecues, and decides she is going to do some barbecue entertaining. Buys a variety of barbecue prepared stuff from Asda, 2 bottles of Californian blush and starts to plan her party.
Party will be Sunday afternoon and the guest list is me auntie Mary, Madge and Glenys - the one whose husband is in a nursing home and he thinks he is waiting for a bus.

Mother has never used a barbecue in her life but she tells me she got 4 breeze blocks out of the shed to stand the barbecues on, followed the instructions, lit the paper and waited for them to get hot before putting on her BOGOF chicken kebabs (seasoned with lemon and black pepper as they sounded most normal and madge has a problem with anything spicy)

So, guests arrive, wine uncorked and kebabs sizzling away. There they all ate sitting round patio table drinking their Californian blush, eating their chicken and salad and having a jolly good time, but it is turning cool and the wind is getting up so they decide to retreat indoors. Barbecues still full of white ash and some charcoal and morher concerned that as it burns down it will blow all over and make a right mess of the patio window.

Madge suggests a jug of water but mother says that will make a right puther and get on their chests. Auntie (mothers version) then suggest that mother moves barbecues into greenhouse and let them die out naturally. Now at this point I need to explain about the greenhouse becasue we are actually doing the term 'greenhouse' a bit of a dis-service.

My dad was not a handy man but he thoguht he was. Their house has a number of outbuildings, all constructed of left-overs and all should be condemned. Mother has an Anderson shelter.... Anyway the greenhouse consists of 4 or 5 rows of mis-matched bricks, the old kitchen window, the old bathroom window (frosted) the old back door and the back wall of the asbestos garage. The roof is made of sheets of corrugated plastic and the floor is made of crazy paving in other words all sorts of odds amd ends me dad stuck together with cement. But give him his due, he produced the most wonderful tomatoes. Dad has been dead 5 years now but mother still has the Anderson shelter (garden implements and the old boiler) the asbestos garage as it can't be dismantled without considerable expense because it is asbestos, the greenhouse which lives a symbiotic life with the garage in holding each other up at an angle, the dog kennel which also relies on asbestos garage as its 4th wall and 2 sides of the old bath boxing, 2 wonky sheds and a treehouse with no floor. You get the idea.

So off mother goes and lifts one disposable barbecu at a time on a garden spade and takes them into greenhouse, and places them on floor to die a gentle death. Not quite it turns out. Dad used to have a paraffin stove in there to keep the tomatoes warm on cold nights. now although the stove has not been used for years, dad must have slopped a fair bit of parrafin about in his time.

Mother closes greenhouse door and they retire into house to watch Mamma Mia for the umpteenth time fuelled by 2 bottles of Californian blush and a belly full of kebabs. Well, they just got to singing Money money' when auntie mary says she can smell smoke..... Is mother sure there was nothing to catch fire in greenhouse? Out they all troop to see flames coming through roof and foul smelling smoke... madge goes to ring fire brigade but is stopped by Glenys who says that fire brigade will tell social services and seeing as they are all tipsy and over 80, it won't look good that mother has put lighted barbecues into a greenhouse with a paraffin heater and closed door. Mother ( auntie Marys versioon) gets hysterical. Madge says if she doesn't ring fire brigade, one of the neighbours will. Auntie Mary then goes and gets hosepipe, always hooked up as me mother has dozens of bedding plants and pots and no hose pipe ban, and says she will put fire out.

Mother (her version) grapples hose pipe of auntie mary and says she is going to make a right mess spraying muck everywhere and its bound to go out on its own soon as asbestos is fireproof. Then a man and his dog turn up. He was walking past and noticed the smoke and could hear a lot of ladies shouting.... Madge is still insisting on fire brigade, Glenys is saying they will put mother in a home as being incompetent (auntie marys version) and man says it looks worse than it is, Give him the hose pipe.
Mother doesn't' say anything about potential mess he may make (auntie marys version) And all your auntie mary can do (mothers version) is tell everyone she would have preferred fish and chips and stroke the bloody dog.

Man puts fire out and mother offers him a drink but he says he can't stop as he was only out taking Jimmy for his nightly and his wife will wonder where he has got to. Mother is grateful.

This all happened last Sunday. We went away in caravan on Monday and its only when i rang mother on Tuesday that i Got told all this. (mother won't ring my mobile as she fears she will get radiated, and heres her only daughter about to get zapped to eternity for the next 4 weeks)
I then rang auntie for her version. She said she never wanted a barbecue and her chicken tasted of smoke but he was ever such a nice man and the dog never barked once.

They are okay. Roof of greenhouse has gone but rest of it still stands albeit it very blackened. Mother tells me she bets that is why the barbecues were BOGOFs, becasue they were dangerous. I let it go......

Pixie xx

southpool
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Evening Bunnies,

Christine hand, foot & mouth sounds awful, I am assuming it is a virus so antibiotics won't work. Make sure you take care of yourself.

Lee your artwork sounds fab, my Mum has always collected vintage jewellery & has lots of beautiful stuff she never wears but has sentimental value because it reminds her of certain times in her life. I am really interested in your artwork as it would make a lovely present for her & a great way to display her collection. She also collects antique linen, so if that could be incorporated even better. It is an inspired idea.

Pixie I am getting very intrigued by the Macmillian 3 story, don't hold us in suspense much longer!

Campo dune bashing for me please but only if I ave a very secure helmet as I am a real scaredy cat and don't like taking risks!

I have had a lovely break in Wales & today the weather has been fabulous. Had a stroll into the village for damson ice cream & sat in the sun all afternoon reading a Marian Keyes book ( another 50p find from the village charity shop). I am chilling in the sofa while OH has headed up into the hills to take sunset photos as the light is fabulous over the sea. We are so lucky to be able to escape here & recuperate and I am feeling better every day.

Love & virtual hugs to all.
Sx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Well, thanks to my grandson I now have hand, foot and mouth! I tell ypou my feet are so sore - like when you've had pins and needles and then you get that painful feeling when the blood starts flow again. Fingers are sore and hands are itchy. Grrrr! Please God, can you gie me a break!
Christine xxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

GMT – Hoping the cream is working.

Libby12 – Hope you get something to get your glands down – going to the docs sounds like a good idea.

Chrisp1e – Lovely to see you check in. Sorry to hear you have been unwell and hoping that you are feeling better.

Southpool – Love your rationalisation about spending your hair money on other things – Love it. I would think your hairdressing costs are a lot more than mine. My hair was waist length and I used to have full colour (as I don’t like it when roots are a different shade from the rest of the hair) as well as a “small trim” - it cost me the heady fortune of 40 euros ie. £32. Got a major wake up call when I had my hair done in other countries eg. Australia.

Margietee – Lovely to see you back. Thanks for the info on Teabelly – shall stop worrying about her until end of August. Aromatherapy massages are waiting for yooohooo, when you are ready.

Gaget-Gal – De clutter – ditto – need to do that once I get the strength.

Pestering Pixie – Excellent news re the Happy Bags. Looking forward to the story of the McMillan 3 arsonists. Congratulations on making the decision to give up teaching – I know that you are going to make a wonderful life coach.

Little Chick – Good to hear from you. Lovely to hear that your Mum is showing that she cares for you – as I have said because of this nasty disease my sister and I are so much closer. Every cloud..............

Pepihorse – re night sweats. Don’t talk to me about night sweats – I wake up in the middle of the night and my pillow is wringing wet ,I then need to turn it over or change pillow. In the morning even the mattress is wet so I have to put the fan on and strip the bed to dry it all out. Okay it does not help that is also very warm here just now but enough already! Hope you are feeling a lot better.

Sameelee – Lovely idea re the jewellery. Wishing you a lot of success with it.

I now only have 6 sessions of rads left and I have got to admit ladies last week was not too easy, tired, a bit sore and down in the dumps however, on count down now.
So tomorrow’s itinerary - After our exercises on the beach, swim and breakfast I thought we would do something a bit more adverturous before heading for the hammocks and our massages etc. I have arranged for the quad bikes to be brought to the edge of the beach so we can go dune bashing. For those wanting a quieter form of transport the horses are also there and the bikes will go in one direction away from the horses so that they don’t scare them

I for one will have a go at both as I love horses and I would love a go on the bikes. Afterwards our non calorie lunch followed by a gentle afternoon of much deserved pampering. Enjoy my darlings.

So enjoy the rest of your evening and enjoy Bank holiday bunnies. For those feeling pants I shall be around with my oils & creams to get rid of those nasty SEs with my healing paws.

To all other bunnies not mentioned a lovely big hug to you.

Big Hugs & kisses

Hilary xxx
pesteringpixie
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

Promise will write a long post about the McMillan 3 (and Glenys whose husband is in the home cos he has dementia) burning down me dads Heath Robinson of a greenhouse... apparently it is the joint fault of Lorraine Pascal and Ada's BOGOF offer..... nothing to do with the fact that they are blooming loopy...

Sameelee, love the idea of the jewellry make-overs. Most of my things are inherited and intrisically quite valuable but wearing them I feel like the worse sort of pub landlady. I have 2 heavy double Albert chains in 18ct Rose Gold complete with attached fobs, sovreigns and pocket watches. I have 1 double Albert that in the 1960's was spilt into 2 charm bracelets which are ladened with charms. I have 2 18ct 9 bar gate bracelets, I have 5 or 6 heavy gold necklaces with stuff dangling on the end, diamond and precious stone rings in big ugly settings... and none of it is to my taste at all. So they just all sit in a box in the cupboard. Apart from my wedding ring which is a thin 1930's platinum band the only adornment I wear is my Longines sports watch. Otherwise, i prefer beads and scarves. I think your idea is absolutely fantastic and believe 100% if we do something because we love doing it, then good things will happen.

I have definitely decided that in September next year I am stopping teaching come what may. I have enough other strings to my bow to bring in bits of money and am excited to think of all this. I am thinking about getting into life coaching - sort of workshops, helping people to re-evaluate their lives, examine values and how to make changes... don't even want to make a fortune, just to add a bit of value and a few smiles to the world.

I also have a couple of ideas for short books i would like to write and illustrate with my paintings. then there is the happy bags which today have gone well over the £3000 mark! Whhhhhhheeeeeeee!!!!

Wendy.. hang in there bunny! I had 2 chemos delayed beacuse of infections and although its a pain as it drags it all on, it is the best thing for us if we are not currently robust enough to cope. As for hot sweats... horrendous, However, i am now 6 weeks since last chemo and the last few days I have noticed they are lessening. Chemo brought on a chemo-induced menopause for me so the hot sweats came with a vengance, couple this with the fact i was previously on HRT, and you get some idea. I never shifted without my fan in tow.

Right last thing from me - impotant message to all Bunnyfesters.

I need to send you some pre bunnyfeste info and there is no means of attaching documents in the message forum here. So could all bunnyfesters please send me your email address in a private message (don't post it on the forum as we never know who is lurking and skulking) Wonderful margie that you are now over-nighting 🙂

Post about the loopy ones later

Much love

pixie

xx

Sameelee3
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Everyone,
Yes, there is definitely light at the end of the blooming long tunnel that we have all been through or are still stuck in.... feeling more human as the days go by, but sometimes my tongue is still white in the morning or late at night ( sorry, probably too much information?) which tells me that my liver is not back to normal yet. I guess it takes quite a while to regenerate all those cells that have been damaged! Good luck to everyone on the last stages of chemo- I'm not sure I feel that I was brave, I just hung on in there and put up with it all, but being able to post all my grumpiness here certainly helped, and I think I was lucky compared to some of us here.
Many congrats on raising so much cash, Pixie; it is fantastic that the Happy Bags have been so successful and a real credit to you. You needn't worry that we will desert the warren despite the variations in treatment. I'm betting that lots of us fully intend to keep going posting, and will still want to know how everyone is doing. FOR EVER!
It is funny that you should mention the jewellery you have stashed and don't use, because that is the source of my recent art work. I have always collected bits of antique jewellery ( since I was about 10 ) and love anything vintage, especially art deco, even old buttons. I found that I wasn't wearing any of it though: what suited me in my 20's doesn't now, etc.... so, I decided that it was a waste just hoarding it in a drawer, (and as I dont have a daughter, have no-one to pass it on to ) and perhaps I could create art pieces out of my vintage jewellery and other lovely bits and bobs. I love it because it is effectively recycling, but creates beautiful pieces that can be family heirlooms if the jewellery has sentimental value. Am experimenting with simple frames at the moment and some of them work well, but might go on to other stuff if I don't go back to work too soon.
Eventually, I want to offer a personal service to anyone who has lovely jewellery or other unusual items that they don't or can't wear ( even broken stuff, single earrings etc, ) , but can't bear to throw away- perhaps even inherited when someone has died...`i even have a business name all sorted.
Anyway, Bunnies, that's my latest project. I'm not really doing it to make money as such, and havent actually sold anything yet- that's my next hurdle, as am a bit scared that someone will say its rubbish and I'm not good at handling rejection! It is just something I can spend hours doing and lose myself... i guess it's occupational therapy really. it also is very different from the day job, which is great. Doesn't need any real talent as such, just an eye for colour and texture I suppose, and a willingness to rummage in car boot sales or charity shops.
Getting back to BC, I rang the local bc nurse about a date for my implant surgery and she said it is unlikely to be before November, so at least now I can plan things for Sept and Oct....was a bit worried that they might want to do the op on the bunnyfest weekend. No way.
Seems really strange not to be posting moans and groans about SE's at the moment. I have an onc appointment next week and I'll start taking the hormone tablets, I expect. i met someone who has been taking them for a couple of weeks and she has noticed stiff fingers and knees. So, definitely looking forward to all that!
Enough of me for now, nice to see you back, Little Chick, Margietee Vanns and Chrisp1E and anyone else who's been away. it's always a bit of a worry when someone goes quiet for too long!
Hope everyone is having a good weekend, and not being swept away by flash floods. Summer? Just off to massage my scalp in an effort to speed up the growth of more white fluff. I lead such an exciting life!
Much love, take care all,
Lee
x

pepihorse
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Thankyou southpool and Little chick, that puts my mind at rest..... My hospital rings me the day before chemo to confirm if bloods are ok, (have bloods done at local Drs) but thats all I get, our hospital does seem on a tight budget we do not get the neutralasia injections either, when I asked about it, they said they dont use them, give out anti-biotics instead, which I have to take 7 days after chemo (thats on Tax only, didnt even get them with FEC !).
I think if I had had them, I wouldnt have ended up in hospital as would have had white blood cells in body!
Will get some cream for feet, just been puttin on E45 but it doesnt really help. I must confess I am a tea drinker so maybe if I cut that out my night sweats might get better, too late today as had a few already, but no more today ! I will see if that helps over the next few days, but what to drink instead??? fed up with squash, drink loads of that after chemo !! will check out cupboard and see, have some peppermint tea and ginger and lemon tea, maybe I will try them instead of normal tea, cant say I like them much though !! Hope it helps as these night sweats are awful, my cotton nighties are soaked in the morning! especially around the chest area,which was worrying !
Thank you again ladies, your info was very re-assuring. Will order cream for feet now.....
Speak soon,
Wendy xx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Wendy,
I also had problems with night sweats on Taxotere. Some times I had been up and changed 3 times overnight.

Lovely to read everyone's silver linings. I thought of a few more to add to my list last night but alas I've forgotten them again. Will need to write them down when they come back to me.
Short post today. Am feeling much better. My mum is getting a new kitchen fitted next week and my daughter and I are going to help empty the existing cupboards.
pixie - please can you hurry with the Macmillan 3 inferno. I can't wait! But good that you're still getting orders for Happy Bags!
Love to all
Christine xxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Wendy I've been using Clarins foot beauty treatment cream on my feet and the hand & nail one on my hands and can thoroughly recommend them both. Have been having sweating issuestoo, so you're not alone. Ditto what southpool said about drinking plenty.

I see my onc before every treatment so I'm a bit surprised to hear you've only seen yours the once! I guess all the hospitals have different systems? Since my problems with first FEC I've had all my bloods done at the hospital and the nurses check with onc before they let me go too, so am feeling well looked after.
southpool
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Wendy

Just a quick post to put your mind at rest. I had horrible sweats all through tax, the bed would be soaked. I found that not drinking coffee or tea really helped & drink plenty of water I had a jug by the bed at night.

Also for sore feet I have used udderly cream it is available on Amazon. It is fantastic and really soothes feet & hands. It is quite expensive but lasts for ages and is really good.

Hope this helps
S x

pepihorse
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi all just popped in to see you all, feeling a bit better after hospital stay, still taking anti-biotics for chest infection though, got new chemo date for the one I had to miss, its now next Thursday, dont want it though, as still got side effects from the last one 4 weeks ago ! but will see, if white blood cells are back up by then, maybe I had better have it I suppose.............. I feel such a wimp, compared to all of you brave ladies on here, how are you so brave??????
This Tax has left me, feeling drained, my feet are all red and painful, hands sore too, I ache all over, especially hips, I toddle around like Im 100 years old, I sweat buckets at night. Is all this quite usual??? I am not sure who to ask really, have only had appintment once through chemo with Oncologist, and that was for about 5 minutes! and that was when I completed FEC, which wasnt too much of a problem for me. This Taxotere just doesnt like me at all !!
Is this sweating at night common? this one worries me alot as I am soaked in the mornings!! also any ideas to help poor red painful feet??
Wishing everyone well, and jealous now that some of you have completed chemo, I would have been one of you if hadnt had this Neutrolpenia thingy grrrrrr........
Best wishes everyone,
Wendy x

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hands up for roll call Hilary 🙂 just emerging from my hammock and all those pampering sessions, thank you! Will give the glass-bottomed boat a miss because I got very seasick on one a few years ago lol! Couldn't walk straight all day, but that was in another place and another life.

Its great to hear about all the downsizing and re-evaluating people are doing. This isn't an issue for me, we did it years ago. I am wondering still about silver linings. It has made me realise after all these years that my mum really does care about me. She has emailed, texted or phoned every day since I got ill and sent me a card once a week so that I have hundreds on the windowsills now. There have been times when we don't get on, but we both have so little family left now. Conversely, some people I thought would be more help have turned out not to be. My husband has been wonderful. I don't know what I would have done without him. You lot have been brIlliant, really kept me going during some dark times. Its also made me REALLY appreciTe how lucky we are to have the NHS. Another 11 days until my last TC. Is there still anyone else not finished yet? Had a peek at the may thread and even most of them have finished now. At least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Bought a big box of celebrations to take with me for the last one. Sleep well fellow bunnies, I'll be thinking of you all 🙂
pesteringpixie
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

Aw margie.... poor bunny, right at the end you go and get an infection.. but sounds as if you are on the mend now and ready for a lovely break in France:)

had a lovely break with the caravan up in Suffolk, only about 40 miles from home but got lots of painting done with no disturbances and plenty of sleeping.

Will post about the greenhouse fire over the weekend as this evening I have a big happy bag order to get done for a wedding as I need to get it in the post tomorrow. Am now just £60 short of £3000 so if anybody has yet to indulge in happy bags - nows your chance to be the ones that get me over the £3000 threshold. Southpools mum in law got me over the £2000 one.

Good on you Southpool with the earrings, I have lots of earings already as have always been an earing and beads sort of a girl. I also have quite a bit of good jewellry that I never wear, not even my engagement ring! - Have sent you the Hilton contract and hope you get a chance to caast your numeric bunny eyes on it - all looks okay to me but you do numbers, i do words:)

Right, back to the assembly line as now its just me as the McMillan 3 are currently preoccupied developing their skills as arsonists.

Much love

Pixie xxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Silver linings

I’ve got other things that I can’t articulate so I’ll just leave it to these main ones:

  1. No more shopping out of boredom
    Between the lack of energy and the parking clampdown in London this summer, I got out the habit of shopping or browsing shops “just because”. I ended up a little bit more better off each month

  2. the “simpler” life
    I have so much “stuff” in Big Yellow storage and more at home in boxes, that I haven’t even looked at since I packed it away when the builders came. I did have the strength to unpack it all. I’ve lived all this time without whatever is in there. This makes me wonder if I truly need it all. I used one handbag all summer and about 3 pairs of shoes. I think a good old de-clutter might be in order, as soon as I’m up to it!

  3. Portion control
    I was one of those people conditioned to clear one’s plate after every meal. So as not to be “wasteful”; to get your money’s worth in a restaurant; to show appreciation to your host. Blah, blah, blah. (The same people who conditioned me also like to pas comment on any weight loss or gain, ha!)
    Well chemo made me lose my appetite and screwed up my taste buds so I simply can’t eat anything I don’t like. Plus, I have to leave what I can’t finish on the plate- gasp! It still feels “bad” to do this. Lol!

  4. Learning what true friendship is.
    Since I got my diagnosis I’ve had one friend come to my appointments with me, then to every single chemo session. To sit, knit and chat and even to go to the café and fetch me that bottle of Dr. Pepper I wanted NAO! There are other friends who let me wax lyrical about whatever was going on at the time.

    Some people gave me “care packages" to keep me going e.g. enough raw silk to knit myself a top or a big shawl. Someone else gave a Poirot mystery Jigsaw. Ironically, I couldn’t use them because of y hand problems but I was really touched. Friends of friends that dant even met me even sent me cards and letters. They all really helped me get through this.

    Conversely, I had old friends who don’t know about my illness because when I’ve been in touch they haven’t even asked me how I’ve been lately…
margietee
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Puff, pant, puff, pant, with a hip hop in between ..... hello bunnies, I'm back! Hilary, so sorry to have missed roll call a few times and so sorry OH didn't have a chance to send you a sick note ...... but like Hyzenthlay I've had a mini holiday courtesy of the NHS.

Chemo all done and dusted, so I thought, just finish off working through those side effects, buy no, there was a final big bite on the bottom to come. On Monday (day 13 following tax 3) my temp decides to shoot up to 38.8. I phoned the chemo nurses and was told to report straight to hospital where I was put on intravenous antibiotics for 48 hours (once they managed to find a vein for the cannula). I had 5 and a half doses of the 6 prescribed before the vein decided it had had enough and the cannula popped out. The nurse suggested putting in a new one. I suggested we wait to find out if the docs thought that was necessary. Luckily they decided enough had gone in - I had a balloon the size of a small grapefruit where most of the last dose had gone into the muscle instead of the vein. I was allowed home Wednesday afternoon and have 4 days of oral antibiotics. I hadn't realised until this all happened that the magic 38 degrees means you actually have an infection, not just that you might have one. Normally your body would fight it off but of course ours can't at the moment.

No sooner was I home from hospital than we got in the car and headed over to North Wales for my s-i-l's funeral which was yesterday (my onc gave me permission to go!). Anyway, back home now and I hope that everything will settle down now and we will have a few peaceful weeks months years to come ....

Big excitement while i was in hosp - it coincided with my rad planning session, luckily in the same hospital, so I was transported from the oncology ward to the rad dept by electric buggy. What fun. They sure do go fast!!! Rad planning was all straightforward - pix of autumnal trees and blue sky on the ceiling above the CT scanner. I now have 3 tattoos which I know are really tiny butterflies and not just grey dots!!!! Rads start Sept 17, day after we come back from France.

Arimidex is the hormone therapy I'm going on ... I start next Wednesday, 3 weeks after tax 3.

I've loved reading everyone's silver linings. Mine are very similar:
- the warren of course and all that it brings
- the realisation of how much people care about me, which has often completely blown my mind
- how wonderful my OH has been and as someone else has said it has brought us even closer - we were very close already so I wouldn't have thought that possible
- the love, support and strength from my three lovely sons - again, we were already close but this has brought out so many more feelings of closeness and love than I could ever have imagined
- my brilliant sister, her continuous support even though she lives almost 200 miles away, and actually expressing to one another how much we love each other - something we just took for granted before

How's that for starters???? And of course I share wholeheartedly that one one Vanns - being alive!!!

Big M, sorry no one has gone along with your suggestion of a new thread. I share what everyone else says that I don't want to lose this thread. I am sure that you have no need to worry about arrangements for bunny fest because we will all be fully updated by PM and we will all know exactly when and where to be present and correct. Hilary will have her register to check off names, and everything will work out just fine. Also, I love the way we are already well over 2000 postings - it's good to scroll back and see how far we've all come. I look forward to reaching 5000 postings and beyond! It's the 'starting chemo in April 2012' that brought us all together and is the glue to keep us together.

Hilary, you've mentioned Teabelly on your roll call. I remember her saying she was going away for a few weeks during the school hols so I'm sure she'll be back soon.

Libby I hope your glands settle down soon. I know you've mentioned them to a few people at hosp but have you mentioned them to your chemo nurse? I've found that people I've dealt with in various parts of the medical team are often only interested in their own little bit of what's going on, so don't really pay attention to things that don't concern them directly, eg radiographer intested in all things to do with his/her discipline, but not interested in swollen glands. You could of course also speak to your GP. He'll soon tell you if your glands need attention I'm sure and hopefully put your mind at rest.

Think I must go and make a cup of tea ... sorry to anyone I've not mentioned by name - but be assured I'm thinking of you all and sending good vibes. Campo spa, I need some lovely aromatherapy massages please ... the spa helped me through my time in hospital ... Pixie, can't wait for Mac3 update ...

Have a lovely weekend everyone. Relax! And good luck to those stragglers at the back of the queue with last chemo still to come.

Big hugs. Margie xxx

southpool
Member

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Afternoon Bunnies

Pixie I am waiting excitedly for the next Macmillian three story, your taster has got me well intrigued.

Sara, I can understand you being nervous about surgery, but mx was a walk in the park compared to chemo. Your hospital sounds very well organised which is a good thing and exercises are very important.

Libby glad Aintree is nice, think it was all funded by the Marina Daglish Fund & the design was informed by women who had treatment or breast cancer. I have my planning session at Clatterbridge on the 20th Sept & will start at Aintree on the Thursday after we return from hols. I am hoping for the last appointment each day so I can still work in the mornings. Am looking forward to trees on the ceiling, if not the half hour drive each way.

Chrisp1e that is rubbish picking up an infection. Hope you feel better soon.

Gaynor I got cheap aqueous cream from Home Bargains and checked the ingredients to E45 cream & they were mostly the same. The cheap stuff is great I used it as foot cream & for washing my scalp.

I have had a good week despite waves of fatigue washing over me when I am least expecting it. Worked from home Wednesday & Thursday and although my short term memory is still rubbish I am concentrating much better so was able to get some difficult strategy work finished that I just couldn't face before, so am no longer panicking that I have lost my touch.

Today I have been out shopping again, now I don't need my hair cutting & colouring every six weeks I have spent my hair money on some lovely new earrings to go with my scarves/short hair. Usually I wear diamond studs but these are quite large statement earrings & I love them, think I will buy a new piece of bling every six weeks when I would have gone to the hairdressers. It felt really indulgent until I rationalised it and now it seems really logical choosing to spend hair money on something different.

Met a friend for lunch & am now knackered again, so chilling in the armchair with the radio until OH comes home & we head to Wales.

Hope everyone has a good bank holiday weekend.
Sx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hilary - I'm here!
Not been well for several days. Could sleep round the clock! Have an infection in my finger and am now on 3rd course of antibiotics for it. Think they made me quite tired. Then my grandson was here on Sunday and had sore throat, sore head and tummy and temp of 38.5. I've now got same symptoms. Turns out he's got foot, hand and mouth. I thought it was only cows that got that. Silly old moo that I am. So this is my first day being able to get up to the PC. Can't be bothered doin anything really.
GMT - I bought the cheap aqueous cream and found it did the job when my hands were very dry at the start of treatment.
pixie - can't wait for the story about the greenhouse!
Silver linings:
Being able to communicate with other women going through the same as myself.
Being able to be so much a part of my grandchildren's lives.

Thinking of you all. Good luck to everyone having treatment this week or getting through SEs.
Christine xxx