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Starting chemo in April 2012

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Well, that's it. officially redundant today, and have had three stressful meetings about it this week along with rads every day. I am sure they have discriminated against me because of the bc treatment, but am also sure that have covered their tracks well enough that I won't be able to prove it at tribunal. Also the company is bankrupt, so not a lot of point in taking to tribunal anyway.

I will take this as a sign that it is time to do something else, less stressful, with nice people.

I'm glad most of the bunnies have more energy and are getting out and enjoying life. I am feeling really good physically, just drained after a difficult week.

Lee, I seem to have the same thing with my hairline! Bit worrying and I hope it is just temporary

I could hear the bunnies on the banana boat as I lay at Campo's spa today, made me smile xxxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone,
Good to hear that so many of us are on the up and busy!
Just a quick post to ask
1. if anyone is considering risk reduction surgery on the other side ( had chat with bc nurse yesterday) and
2 to wonder whether it's normal to be developing a receding hairline (!) effect on the re-growth. OH and I have twin haircuts.
Would love to be teling you that I am half way up Kilimanjaro or clubbing downtown like some of you energetic souls, but the sad truth is that I am really looking forward to watching the next episode of Parade's End on TV, albeit with a glass of wine and a bowl of chilli.
love to all,


Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone,
Havent posted for a few days but have just caught up with all the posts. Had a good weekend in Bath, the weather was lovely and I celebrated my birthday early. Just as well, rads appt was running late by 2 hours on my actual birthday , got picked up at 2 pm and got home at 6.20pm, v tired ! I am starting to feel tired now, had 9, not sure if it's the journey or the treatment.
I only had FEC but my nails are a strange yellowy colour half way up and I don't wear nail varnish, bite my nails so too short and stubby. So must be the chemo rather than nail varnish.
Returned to the choir I joined last November, it was good to do something I enjoy and felt like I'm getting back to normal. I do wonder if I don't go back to my old job it will be a backward step as I won't be moving on as quickly, but at the moment I can't face the nonsense that has gone on in my work place.
Picked up the trial drug I've signed up for, I'm hoping I've got the real thing, an anti inflammatory drug, which will hopefully help with the joint pain I've got in fingers and knees in particular. Did anyone else sign up for it, ( REACT trial), were you thinking about it Southpool?
hope everyone enjoys their weekend, festivals, lounging in front of tele, dogwalks or whatever. I'm thinking of going to watch my brother in law do a triathlon at Woburn Abbey.
Love to all,
Gaynor xx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Talking aching bits, my bcn suggested versatis plasters (lignocaine). You stick one on for 12 hours, then go bare for 12 hours and repeat. Been to the gp and got two weeks supply so am going to try them starting tonight. Unfortunately, this week I have also developed cording under my arm. Left a message for bcn, who left a message back and thinkmtheybare going to sort out physio for that. Might explain why I still have so much pain three months after op. I thought cording was something you only got straight after the op, but googled it (I know, don't all shout at once!) and apparently you can get it years later, so Watch out ladies. First thing I noticed was washing under my arm in the shower. It's quite obvious to see in the armpit when I lift my arm, but the pain goes down my side rather than down my arm. There's always bloomin something!

It was the first time I've seen my gp through all of this. Got a first appointment to try and avoid the germs in the waiting room (day 9 post last chemo so I'm still paranoid about germs!), but there was still someone there with a stinking cold 😞 anyway, got my tamoxifen prescription sorted and ready, but don't have to take them for another week and a half yet.

Sarabee, sorry to hear your poor bits are sore again. We did some glorious walks in the lake district years ago. Used to ride up from London on the motorbike and camp near ullswater on our way north. I have some great memories of late nights With hubby fishing the lakes and me reading him ghost stories - it always ensured an early night because whilst he wouldn't admit it, he used to get scared when it started to get dark lol!! Was always a cheap holiday anyway.

Mary, I like whoopi Goldberg films, always good for a laugh. 🙂 sorry to hear about your problems, will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Southpool, did all my festival going in the 80s when it was free or cheap, boy did we have some fun. I wonder if it has changed much? Few took tents in those days, but I remember a group of us rigged up,a sort of lean-to next to a pick-up and all slept under it in a line!!! I am full of respect for you getting back to work so quickly. We are going to take a few weeks off before picking up the advertising again and trying to restart our businesses. Hubby says it will take me a few months to get back to "normal slob mode" (as opposed to ill chemo lady lol!), then we will work on getting fit and healthy again. Meantime, it's time for a little r and r, doing a bit of walking each day and some hobbying and just building up some strength.

Wendy, hope you have a great time at the LGFG course, they sound great from what everyone says. I tried to book on a couple of months ago and the first spot I could get was November so still have to wait a while yet! Still, perhaps they can make us look good for Christmas 🙂

Sarah / am arose - snowdon!!??? If I'd been drinking tea reading that, the room would be very wet!!! Bloomin Eck girl, ease in gently.

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Wow we're all starting to pick up the pace a bit lol! Have completed first week of rads and feeling terrible again. My boob is sore, my underarm is sore and last night have has terrible back ache and restless legs!! told the nurses and they said take paracetamol. Just what I need lol!
ThiS morning no beach or banana boat but felt more like Thunderbirds on the bed. Seemed to me like I would end up in the cockpit of Thunderbird 2!! I wish lol!

Planning a doggie social walk on Sunday and both mine now look gorgeous having come back from the groomers yesterday. It won't last long lol! Talking of walking my OH wants to visit Snowden but I've had a yearNing to walk up Catbells in the Lake District ever since I got a Wainwright book for Xmas a few years back. It's not the tallest but I think Bertie and I could manage it. Something to go on the bucket list!
Have a lovely weekend bunnies wherever you are!
Sarabee xxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi All

Have not posted for a few days - luckily I have been busy and have enough energy to do a few things. Whooppee! I went to the theatre at Woking last week to see Sister Act. I must be the only person on the planet who has not seen the film because everyone I talk to knows it well. It was silly and funny and great escapism. On Monday I went back to my choir, which I had to leave in March when the BC was diagnosed. I only stayed till half time before conking out, but at least I was there. On Tuesday - I can harly believe this - I played rounders (for the first time in about 20 years) with my work team. I really enjoyed it, but of course am still paying for it in terms of aches and pains. Like other bunnies, exercise has been out of the question for the last few months. I know it makes sense to do pilates or yoga or even gentle exercises at home, but I have a mental block about it at present - I just don't want to start.

I had an MRI today on my breasts to check the papilloma in my left one. Results are Monday week, but I am expecting more surgery (Oh No, I cannot bear it!!). I hope it does not interfere with Bunnyfest. I am buying my ears this weekend. We are still all coming in ears aren't we - I;ll feel a right idiot if I am the only one to turn up in bunny ears!!

My reconstructed right breast aches all the time. I saw a nurse about it today and she said she would be able to do some laser treatment on it which might help. So if anyone else has that problem, maybe ask for laser treatment too.

My nails are a total mess - ridges top to bottom, yellow colour, bits breaking off at a level below the finger line which makes the esposed finger really sore.

Sarabee - I will write to you via messages about meeting up before Bunnyfest.

Love to everyone


Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

I am so excited this morning I am properly fizzing. We drove down to our place in Wales very late last night & saw Portmerion lit up ready for the festival & it looked fab. Just can't wait to go, it feels like another step to the real me reemerging. Yesterday was a very long work day, but I took my leadership team to Jamies Italian for lunch to say thank you for all their support over the last 6 months which was lovely. Workwise I am back to where I was before treatment & my chemo brain seems to be fading, which I am really grateful for, I was very scared of my brain slowing down. So to all the bunnies dreading going back to work, take it slowly and listen to your body but it does feel like you have never been away really quickly.

In just 3 weeks I am noticing an improvement in my stamina, yesterday I worked a 12hour day, packed for the festival and travelled 2 1/2hrs arriving at 11.30. I fully expected to be knackered this morning as I was a couple of Fridays ago. But actually I feel fine, just need to make sure I pace myself over the weekend, regular disco naps are going to be essential.

MarGie my OH bought me a chair to take & it was a floral Cath Kidson style one and I straight way thought of you & the diamond jubilee. I am very proud of it.

Nails- mine are very hit & miss despite using cuticle oil twice a day & wearing OPI nail envy. On my left hand they just have a white Mark which coincides with 1st tax on my right they are yellow with red marks and I look like a heavy smoker. I didn't wear nail varnish at all during treatment so it isn't that. The veins in my right hand are still very sore & my burn Mark has faded but is still there. I had shellac on my toenails & they look at bit grim, but then they were never great. I do think like other SE it is hit and miss how they affect you.

I am still obsessed by my hair, in some places it is really quite long & in others I have bald patches. It is a mix of very White & sandy blonde, I look like spot the dog, but the wig & scarves are going when I return from holidays whatever.

Pixie good luck with the race for life, work those happy bags bunny!

Amba I am impressed by you heading up Snowdon, I can see the summit from the festival site so will give you a wave. Weather is looking ok at the moment but it is cool & windy which will be nice for walking, if not so great for outdoor music watching!

Little chick love the poem & Sarabee I now have a clear vision of bunnies on banana boat really made me laugh.

Heading off to get ready to be a festival bunny, even have the hunter wellies if not the tiny denim shorts!! Am I too old to wear my festival wristband for the next 6 months?

Love & virtual hugs.
Festival S x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Morning Bunnies, still havent checked out the toenails, putting it off ! but have painted finger nails a nice darkish pinky colour, and they look much better, I dont have any ridges just the nicotene stained look !!! YUK !! tips of fingers still sore though, dont know if that means anything.... like they may fall off !! Time will tell.......
I am going to a look good feel good session on Tuesday, this will be my first one, Ive read some of you ladies have already been, so, now I am completey bald, no eyelashes, no eyebrows, thought I would give them the challenge!!!
I definately do not look or feel good about myself at the moment lol!!! so this should be interesting....... !
Rads start on Thursday, not looking forward to the 1 hour drive each way everyday for 3 weeks ! I am so jealous of all you who have been on holiday, I am so looking forward to feeling ok enough to plan one !!
I am amazed at Sarah, (amberose) attempting Snowdon ! easier route or not, well done for even thinking of it ! I dont think I could climb a normal hill at the moment !! its 2 week after last Tax and ive only just started the dog walking again, and I keep choosing the flat walks avoiding any hills!!! How long is it since you finished chemo Sarah ?????? you give me hope that soon I might manage a small hill !!
Have a lovely day bunnies,
Wendy x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies,
Well nails are the thing-mine have ridges and are this disgusting grey/black colour-mostly on the thumbs and big toes but also a couple of fingers have vetical lines of black on them. I have not painted mine except when on the cruise for 6 days when they were red so don't think the colur of polish makes any difference. Have started Tamoxifen today so hope no side effects kick in -I definitely do not want PMT type symptoms like southpool- you poor thing. I remember when I had periods that was the worst bit of the month, having the PMT. My daughters get it and i feel so sorry for them.
Have not had appt for Rads yet so will also probably be still going in December!!.
Hoping to go away this weekend if the weather is kind-OH has a challenge to climb up Snowdon and I have already done it last year so we are going on the easier route and can get the train if I cannot manage. I am determined to do it though so watch this space. Have been walking and doing a little bit of a run now and then but fitness is not what it was.
Hope you are enjoying Yorkshire Hilary and Margitee having a great time in France. I would love to be on holiday all the time. My daughter who is on a 10 month world trip has just sent photos of the Gorillas in Rwanda- it looks magical
All for now bunnies, love to all

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Some happy bunny thoughts:

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
We are all entitled to a bad hare day!
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Some body parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off other people's punkawallahs.

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi - re the nails. No, I don't think it's the varnish that changes the colour, as I don't normally wear any. I only started once my nails went yellowy brown and I wanted to cover them up (made me look like a heavy smoker!). The next time I took the varnish off they looked as if I'd been tortured with thumbscrews or something - purple 'bruising' under some nails, plus the 'white' of the nails had travelled at least half way down. Only got deep ridges in my thumbnails - the others just have very slight ones. I only got the reaction with TAX, not with FEC. It's only when your nails come loose that you realise that it affects everything you do eg getting change out of your purse, rummaging in your handbag, opening envelopes/packages etc etc. Still, there is evidence of some healthier growth at the bottom so hopefully everything will get back to normal in due course.

Re jobs - I think those of you who have been going into work have been positively heroic! I really couldn't have managed it, so am glad I'm retired. Hope those of you who want to do fewer hours will have that accepted by your employers. I appreciate it's difficult for them to provide cover etc but if you go back FT before you are ready you probably won't be working at 100% and it might cause further health problems down the line, which would be even more inconvenient for them.

Pixie - I don't know where you get all yur energy from! Hope you sell lots of happy bags at the relay for life. How's your new dog settling in? Did anyone see Paul O'Grady's programme about Battersea Dog's Home? I think it would be impossible to walk out of there without adopting one of the dogs. I have to be strict with myself about cats - one of our local sanctuaries is overun with cats and kittens needing homes at the moment. I have two and could happily adopt a couple more - but I have to think of the ongoing costs and I can't really afford to. I can quite see how people end up as 'mad cat ladies' with 20 cats or something!

Sara x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Re the nails... maybe it is from the black varnish, but I have about a quarter of an inch of pink new growth, so if it was a dye from the black varnish, I would have thought they would be brown/yellow too, so not sure.Half way down some of the nails look like theyve come adfrift from nail bed, but they are still sort of attached. I dont have any ridges though, just on 3 nails I have a white line across. They do look awful though!! I am going to paint them a lovely orangy/pink today so I dont have to look at them anymore! I hope they are not going to fall off, they do look dodgy though!!
All that bothering with black nail varnish does seem a waste of time !!! Still havent checked my toenails, they are still black, I really dont want to look at them under the varnish, incase they are the same!!!
Just done a three quarters of an hour dog walk, so thats enough excercise for today, ankles now saying sit down and rest me, so I will !!!! lol!!
Re the job front, I dont feel like going back now, did do to begin with, but not sure about it now, been signed off for a month anyway, so will decide after RADS, which start next week.
All the best bunnies,
Wendy xx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Sarabee, that really made me laugh that comment about the banana boat! Think I have heard them too :-). Wow, wish I'd been there on thriller Thursday. Watched it all on the telly and loved every minute. You let the doc sign you off as long as you can, you need your wits about you when you go back to work. Put your foot down and don't let them mess you around, your health is more important than anything else.

Wendy & Sara, re nails: I have those ridges too, but my nails really aren't too bad all things considered, touch wood! Just a bit brittle and my thumb nails have little scratches all over them. The deepest ridge from first FEC way back in April is only just reaching the top of the nail now though, so will have to wait and see. One of the chemo nurses said the same thing to me about the nail varnish not working. Those with yellow nails, could it be from the dye in the varnish?

Hubby took me for a coffee today. Was hard walking, but great to get out ofnthe house for a little while. I'm sat in the car now while he's in the supermarket. He's been a godsend. Oops, have to go he's just got back. Xx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hello bunnies!!! Apologies for not posting for a while - I am still here and waving my paws at you all.
Lots to catch up on so here goes...
Elaine: Had pre-eclampsia myself and it was awful. Rest those feet and keep them up as much as possible. Sorry to hear that so many of you are suffering.
Nails: my nails seem to have escaped lifting off but they have developed ridges - a bit like the rings on a tree. I have about 6 lines on each nail which corresponds with my chemo treatments. Did put varnish on but it usually chips straight away so currently admiring my tiger nails!
SEs: having now been off FEC chemo for a month (yippee) I am now feeling more like myself. Still tired and occasionally emotional but certainly not breathless as much and am now able to walk the dogs for up to an hour now and again. Not much hair regrowth yet, but I live in hope lol!!
Pixie: well done on keeping Bertie! My Bertie sends woofs!!! I'd love another dog but not the right time at the moment as my two are so settled and chilled together. But you never know!!!
What about me? Well the weekend away was wonderful, great hotel and service was brilliant. They didn't even blink when I answered the door to room service in my pjs and without my wig! I'd completely forgotten I didn't have it on. OH thought it was very funny! We pottered around in the local area and it was a lovely way to celebrate the end of my chemo treatment.
Since then I've been going for my radiotherapy appointments for a week now. It's not unpleasant but it's early in the morning so I'm having to get up earlier too! A real shock to the system! To be honest, when I'm laying on the bed listening to the machine doing it's thing I have my eyes closed and I'm laying on the beach at Spa del Campo. Once or twice I thought I heard the bunnies on a banana boat but that must have been my imagination!!!
I did get to the Paralympics - on Thriller Thursday no less! It was a very long day and I walked further than I had in months but it was so worth it! The atmosphere was brilliant and the sport was fantastic. Even getting there and back on the train wasn't too bad. Truly a once in a lifetime experience.
Finally, someone mentioned not wanting to go back to work. I saw my GP who has signed me off until October. She wants me to have a clear couple of weeks without treatment before I go back. I'm still not keen to go back especially as it will have to be full time or nothing. If I go back part time I won't earn enough for the bills and we'll lose our benefits so it's a bit of a nightmare. Have tried to talk to OH about not going back there at all but he thinks as I have a job it's best to go back and look for something else when he has a job. All I can say is that I am so not going to be put back in the same stressful environment that I left in March. I couldn't bear it and think it would be the worst thing for me and my recovery. I was chatting to a friend who had cancer (and recovered) and she said that she went back to her job and it was okay to start with but after a couple of weeks they expected her to be back to normal. She ended up leaving and getting a new job with less stress and where they didn't know about her cancer. I have a lot of thinking to do...!!!
Well that's it for now. Am looking forward to seeing everyone at Bunnyfest!
Hugs and hope everyone's feeling a bit better today,
Sarabee xxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Wendy - to be honest I don't think the colour of your varnish makes any difference. The changes caused by TAX aren't affected by light. My oncologist said that black varnish helping things is a myth.... it just makes you feel better not being able to see the yucky nails! I think some people get the nail problem and others don't - regardless of whether they've used varnish - just like with all the other SEs.

Like you - I only change my varnish once a week or so and am amazed by how much the nails keep changing. I've cut my nails as short as I can, as the ones that are lifting keep catching on things. My thumbnail is being held on by nail glue and covered with plasters - otherwise it's painful every time it gets caught up in stuff.

Southpool - hope you enjoy your festival and that the weather is kind to you.

Sara x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi ladies, just took off my black nail varnish in daylight and noticed my nails are yellowy/brown... they look discusting ! havent noticed before as generally about once a week, re-do nails in the evening watching TV! They also look as though they maybe lifting at the tips too. Will re-paint them a nicer colour today as really fed up with the goth look!
Havent looked at toe nails yet, but presumably they will be the same ! YUK!
These side effects never end!!!
Have a nice day everyone,
Wendy x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Nat forgot to say I went to the lingerie evening in Liverpool & it was great. It catered for mx and reconstructions and did underwear & swimwear. Would definitely recommend it.

S x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

Good to see the Warren so busy. I don't envy any of you swollen feet, legs & ankles it must be very difficult getting around. I am very grateful mine seem no worse than normal, I did wear my support/flight socks to every chemo and for several days afterwards as I do suffer normally with swollen ankles. Guess I was just very lucky.

Tamoxifen is giving me shocking mood swings it is like I have PMT all the time. OH is constantly taking cover as I can blow at any moment. I was on the pill for 20 years (maybe that rather than my girls school education contributed to my bc) and never had any hormonal problems. Nor did I suffer badly from PMT, so these hormonal mood swings are taking me a bit by surprise. Spoke to my bcn today and she advised that it will get better as I get used to it - oh joy!

Pixie I have a vision of Tai Chi in PJ's and actually fancy a bit of it myself. I have terrible posture and am seeing a physio to try & correct it, she suggested Pilates as good for muscle stretching. Like everyone else my muscles are really feeble and thing yoga & Pilates may help. It will be interesting to see how I cope at the festival this weekend, usually I would be dancing until the early hours but suspect this year I will have to pace myself.

MarGie your house in France sounds lovely & I absolutely know what you mean about it being healing our place in Wales does the same thing for me.

Today I have been to the board induction meeting for the women's centre I have volunteered at and am now all excited and ready to get stuck in. It is mainly an education provider but also has social enterprise businesses which complement & support the education. One of the enterprises is a spa where they run meditation for health courses so I am signed up to try it out, but I'm sure it won't be a patch on Campos spa!

Hilary you must be freezing arriving from the warmth of Spain into this hideous cold & rain. Hope the new house hunt goes well.

Hopping off to do my festival packing as I am in work all day tomorrow & we are travelling to Wales tomorrow night. Will be prepared for every type of weather just in case.

Love & virtual hugs
S x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone, and Sara so glad you can see your ankles again, I know its horrible feeling, I had pre eclampsia when I had the twins, and really suffered with swollen ankles , it used to hurt when I walked . I am also getting night sweats and also post menopausal, I sleep with a fan next to me, would love one of Hilary's punkawallahs instead. Had arm excersises at the hospital yesterday, they really helped with the sore veins from the fec and tax, really good stretching ones and I felt much better afterwards. Have been doing quite a bit of walking, but still don't feel up to doing classes again just yet. Pixie is right when she says everyone has a different recovery, we all have had different tumors, surgery ect and the chemo that we have undergone have been very aggressive and we will take time to recover from it, I felt lucky not to have had to many side effects from the chemo, but I now feel it is catching up with me and my body needs time to recover, so I am looking after myself and not rushing back to work.ack Anyhow will try and pop back later. Love to all Elainexxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi again everyone

Well, my ability to post direct from my HTC phone was short lived - Saturday evening must have been a freak moment as I've not been able to do it since and have only just got around to logging in on the laptop - which always seems so cumbersome now in the days of ipads and smart phones, wheras once upon a time a laptop seem so mobile!!!!

Vanns, Sara12, Wendy and Little Chick, that makes 5 of us with feet problems, and some of us with hand probs too. In my case it is mainly the soles of my feet which are swollen. I have fleshy pads right up behind my toes and they are so sore when I walk on them. From the tips of my toes to my heels I am tender and tingling all the time and my fingers tingle all the time too. They all feel so numb and overstretched. Walking is difficult and I am just hoping and praying it gets better by next week because i SO much want to get back to the gym when I return from holiday.

Pixie, so pleased you haven't disappeared under your portacath problems. Thinking of you. Southpool, I so admire your work ethic. Sara12 I am so pleased to hear how successful the chemo has been in shrinking your tumour. That is fantastic news and brilliant that you now only need WLE. By the way, I can completely identify with you about the sweats etc. I went through the menopause a few years ago with all the horrible hot flushes, sweats etc, usually at the most inopportune moments, but since the menopause I too continue to have night sweats and sometimes feel I am constantly throwing the duvet off then pulling it back over me. I also like t feel I have something over me. I'd prefer to sleep with just sheet in the summer, especially out here in France, but my OH prefers to have a duvet wherever we are.

Little Chick, so pleased you've finished chemo. Hyzenthlay yours will soon be behind you.

Campo, I meant to say to you that I was so pleased for you that you'd finished your rads. You are ahead of the rest of us. Hope you have a great hol in Yorkshire and find what you are looking for. Whereabouts in Harrogate are you staying? We moved to Hgte when I was 15 and my Mum stayed there for more than 40 years. I am a product of Harrogate Grammar School! I never really went back there to live after I went off to college, but continued to visit for many years until my Mum moved about 6 years ago. You asked where we are in France - our house is in Charente Maritime ... we are about 1 hr north of Bordeaux and about 50 mins in from the beaches of Royan. Our house is a 300 year old farmhouse with an attached barn that we fully renovated in 2003/04 to create a lovely spacious holiday home for ourselves. We are now in the process of renovating the original house to create 2 small holiday lets. We have over 2 acres of land, all mowable with lots of trees and shrubs, and we have a pool. We bought it in January 2001 and love it. Usually I try to spend most of the summer out here though of course this year I've not been able to do so. It is wonderful being here right now - the house seems to have a healing nature. We return to England on Sunday - in readiness for my ras starting on Monday.

There is so much that I would like to say to so many other bunnies but my post is already getting way too long. Sufice to say, I'm thinking of you all and wishing everyone well.

Lots of love, margiexxxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

Another quick post from me I'm afraid, but will be back later.

Just wondering whilst I think of it (the brain is still very slow and forgetful), do any of the bunnies living close to Bluewater fancy going to this?
Lingerie Evening
1 Nov 2012 - 17:30 - 20:00
Location of event:
Bluewater shopping centre
Let me know bunnies.
Love to all
Nat xxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Morning all.

Well, after an hour's wait, finally got to see the surgeon. The news seems to be good - the results she has so far are clear, but I think there's one more to come for one of the nodes. However, she's expecting it to confirm that it was clear as well. They have a multi-disciplinary case conference on Thursday when she expects that they'll make an appointment for me to see the oncologist again to arrange radiotherapy. Apparently the rads are not likely to start before 4-6 weeks from now, so that won't be finished until December at that rate. I have to say it's all a relief - but I'll probably find out more from the oncologist when I see him.

Vanns, you are right, we need to remind ourselves that all the nasty stuff that goes along with TAX is worth it, if it works. As I still had my lump when I started chemo I have tangible proof that it was working as it shrank the tumour to nothing - just a bit of fibrosis and some calcification left, which were taken out I think. I am very lucky really - had they operated first I would have had to have a full mx due to size/position of tumour. As it is, I don't think there'll be visible signs of the WLE apart from 2 x 4" scars.

I'm starting to feel a bit more upbeat mentally despite the lingering physical weakness and am starting to think about planning things for the future - September is a month of new beginnings anyway, isn't it? Only thinking about planning, not actually planning anything, you understand - but it's a start!

Might even start some gentle exercise too. May get the exercise ball out and do that exercise where you lean against the ball, against the wall, and do squats - should protect my back I think whilst strengthening my thigh muscles. Used to do that holding weights, but will see what I can manage first, without.

About the night sweats - I'm post menopausal and am not on any hormone therapy but still get very hot at night - so maybe just a general SE? Always waking up and throwing all the covers off so I just have a sheet over me. Find it really useful to have a sheet under the duvet for that purpose as I sleep better if I feel 'wrapped up' somehow.

Elaine, pleased you popped in - sorry you mum's not well, as well as having to travel to rads. Hope your energy returns soon.

Hyzenthlay - good to hear from you too, and hope you get to the top of the counselling waiting list soon - hovering on the brink of depression is not good, but at least you recognise the signs now and are taking steps to prevent it. So much easier to deal with it then, rather than when you're already in the depths (I've suffered a couple of bouts of depression in the past, so I can empathise).

Hope everyone else's SEs are subsiding - never thought I'd be so pleased to see ankle bones, and the bones in my toes!

Sara x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hello again, waving a paw - thanks to Hilary for the shout out as I am such an infrequent poster! I am counting down to my last chemo next Tuesday, so another round of tax SEs, though the muscle/joint pain mostly goes after the first week for me so far (lucky). I'm just so weary, physically and mentally - have been very down and tearful. I am prone to depression and a bit worried that is creeping up on me. I am on a waiting list for some counselling, good to hear that you've found it helpful LittleChick.
Really hope those tax pains start lessening for you guys!
lots of love, Hyzenthlay xxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Littlechick, sorry you are feeling the same as Vanns, Sara and me ! Awful isnt it? wish it would go......... I get up in the morning, well, sort of stagger, then head straight for the co-codomol, sit and drink cup of tea and wait for them to kick in before I can even get to the shower!!
Maybe I should be doing stretching excercises too ? perhaps I will give them a go and see if they help. I did walk the dog for 15 minutes the other day, but by the time I got back my ankles were all puffy again and I ached worse!! Perhaps I should make sure I try to do it each day instead of letting my daughter do it, but its so hard to make yourself do things when your in pain isnt it?
I dont know why Im still getting the night sweats, as I have no overies ! I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago, but was on a low dose HRT, before diagnosed, but stopped them immediatly, so maybe it is something to do with that?
Well, bunnies affected, I do hope and pray we get rid of these horrid side effects soon, I want to go back to work, I havent been back since having my first TAX at all, I did manage to do 1 and a half weeks out of 3 when I was on FEC, but this Tax is very hard going ! in both ways !!! lol! just realised what I wrote there !!
Wishing us all side effect free !!!
Wendy xxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Morning bunnies

A girlfriend of mine dealt with BC last year and had the tiredeness and particularly the muscle thing - Vanns you are spot on, our muscles have gone to sleep, sort of shrivelled up. Anyway she bought me a smashing Tai Chi DVD and I have started doing that.

It's all about breathing properly and slow focussed stretches and the music to it is just really zenny.. pipes and bells and tinkly things.

If you looked through our front window I must look a treat. Spooty pj's doing all thse funny movements, dogs occasionally joining in....

We couild have a Tai Chi session at Bunnyfeste! Its not aerobic so we won't get hotter and sweatier than we already are.

Right, OH off to see his mother in Norfolk so i am off to do the dog walking. Lovely cool breezy morning so am off out for a couple of hours with my pack! Then back to lesson planning for tomorrow.

Much love to all

pixie xx

PS Sex drive still awol.... shall let you know if and when it returns, though may let OH know first!

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

dear bunnies,
thanks for your support as always and I can report that I'm feeling a little better today. I have realised that a lot of the stiffness in my joints is due to huge shortening/tightening of my muscles due to underuse. everything has basically seized up ( I can include my sex drive in this statement although I appreciate it's notconsidered a muscle ! ) I have therefore embarked on a series of stretching which I will do twice a day to help things back to normal (not the sex drive clearly) I also got back on my bike today determined to do a little more than I did yesterday. It killed but not quite as much. I have no leg or arm strength and can only manage a bit but it made me feel better. When I was so weak and hopeless yesterday I returned home to catch the end of th Olympic parade. I looked at all those superb athletes, especially the paraolympians and thought well they wouldn't just give up and cry so neither can I. i suppose we just have to remember a bit at a time.
Rachel I do like your idea of some yoga. I have never done it but I thought that or some Pilates might be a good idea for the flexibility and stretching thing.
sara I think we are very alike in our SE s from Tax. it's evil but if it works I will be happy.
BTW day 7 tamoxifen and nothing to report so far.
pixie - glad you haven't run off with the bunny money although I'm sure I paid southpool !

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Hillary I am still here, not been feeling so good, and very tired, but also my mum has not been well so having daily rads then off to see mum. Sorry to hear some of us not feeling too good, I think we all just have to take each day as it comes. No side effects from the rads only tiredness so can't complain. Sorry not to reply to all posts, but brain still not functioning well, and I have the concentration of a gnat. Anyhow love to all, really looking forward to seeing you all in October . Hugs to everyone Elainexxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

hey Bunnies

A real quickie just so that you know that

a) the portacath hasn't killed me
b) I haven't run off with Bunnyfeste money
c) The mcMillan 3 aren't behind bars and I am pklanning their defence

Nothing like that at all just manically busy on the work front. I said i wasn't going to do this again but oh goodness, I get such a buzz from working. What with that and the happy bags, relay for life this weekend and daily rads, 4 dogs, mad old ladies and OH to contend with, oh and planning a McMillan coffee morning.... I haven't had a chance to post properly.
I am well, no se's as yet from rads, no se's as yet from letrozole. Not loosing weight so none of my clothes fit, lots of short silky black hair so no more wigs, portacth fiasco still continues oozing merily along and very limited mobility in arm and shoulder but bugered if i am letting it stop me from getting on with life.

Those of you still suffering, it will get better, we all get better at different rates just as we all had different tumours, surgeries and treatments...

Right must go as have 8pm apt for rads and bit disappointed as like to watch great British bake off - thank goodness for 1 player.

much love to all you lovely bunnies

Pixie xxxxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Vanns, Wendy and Sara, that makes four of us with the tax symptoms. My legs kill me just from walking across the room, I have no strength or stamina in them. The bone pain from the chemo is bad enough ( day 7 for me), but all these muscle aches have just got worse every time and i am finding it very frustrating and wondering if I'll ever feel "normal" again (whatever that is!). I know I wasn't even half right for last TC, so not expecting to feel well at the 3 week mark, although I'm booked to start the rehab course that week. Can't see me being able to complete much ofnthe exercise programme, but at least I was able to sit in a chair for a little while today instead of the sofa, so a little progress. My exercise programme consists of trying to stand and walk a couple of steps as often as poss to get a bit of strength in my legs.

I wonder if it is lack of strength, or some sort of toxic damage to the muscle cells. Perhaps we will have to be patient while the chemicals work their way out of our systems. Counsellor says to try and accept what you can do and not push yourself too hard or you'll just get more tired and frustrated. Btw, I heartily recommend the speciAlist cancer counselling that the major charities run. My counsellor basically only sees cancer patients so has lots of experience and is able to at least tell me that others feel the same way and I'm not completely mental lol!

So, a few positives from me. I am mercifully free from night sweats so far ( is that a good thing though? Maybe it's because my ovaries arevstillmshunting out too much oestrogen lol! Guess I'll find out when i start on the tamoxifen in another two weeks)
Next, I still *fingers crossed coz I know it's early days* have some eyelashes and thin eyebrows and all my nails. I've been staying indoors and never painted my nails because I hate what the nail varnish remover does to them, but have been slapping on Clarins creams whenever I think about it, so hoping I can hold onto them.

Finally, no period since july, am glad to see the back of them!

Lee, things have changed a bit since my uni days. A new bed??? 🙂

Hilary, thanks for the soothing paws. Left and down a bit, ooooooohhh that's it 🙂

Rachel, ouch!

Sarah and anyone else having rads, ggood luck

Everyone else, hang in there bunnies, we are all marvellous!

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Vanns and Sara12, just to let you know you are not on your own with the swollen feet and legs, and sore fingers, although nails still intact at the moment. Its now 12 days after last Tax, and would have thought I would have returned to normal by now, but I suppose this Tax affects everyone differently, and us 3 are on similar lines. Hips, knees, shoulders and feet all ache still and night sweats very irritating. I see Sara, you are 7 weeks after last Tax ! groan, I hope I dont have all this for that long ! I am still relying on co-codomol to get me moving !!
Well, I hope you feel much better soon, fingers crossed.
A big hello to all other bunnies on here, and wishing you well.
Wendy x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi all - sorry I've been quiet for a while but I've been feeling sorry for myself!

Vanns - we seem to have been affected in a similar way by the TAX. My swollen legs are subsiding a bit now, and I keep them raised when I can - but if they're down the feet start to swell again. My feet still feel odd - sort of numb and yet not numb at the same time. Still, the good news is that I've lost 6lb since water retention eased.

Same problem with fingers - nearly all my nails are lifting off by various degrees and my fingers are sensitive so a lot of tasks requiring pressure are difficult. Cracked one forefinger nail right near the base just putting washing into the machine. One thumbnail almost ripped off whilst topping up tyre pressure - very painful! Have got it stuck down with nail glue for the time being, but don't think that will work for long.

Muscles in my thighs feel really weak - even climbing the stairs seems a huge effort, and they get sore if I try to walk anywhere. I read in another thread that the leg swelling etc can be delayed reaction to TAX, kicking in a few weeks after last treatment.... it just surprised me as I hadn't heard of it as a TAX SE before. Like you, I've been wondering if/when I'm ever going to feel 'normal' again and it's all very frustrating. I feel absolutely fine when I'm sitting down - but as soon as I attempt anything requiring effort, I feel very weak still.

Still not a glimmer of hair regrowth, 7 weeks after last TAX. I know I was having the maximum doses of everything as I'm a large person. They usually calculate doses using height/weight but the dose is capped at a max level, and I was on that. That might explain why I have all these lingering SEs... perhaps it will take longer to clear my system.

Will finally get my results today, so fingers crossed they'll be clear. Scars seem to be healing pretty well. When did you all start using moisturisers etc? So far I've only used soap and water in the shower as didn't want to put anything on that might cause irritation/infection. Did you wait until the scabby bits disappeared?

Drove again for the frst time for nearly two weeks yesterday - what a relief to be mobile and independent again!

I'm glad that everyone seems to have finished chemo at last.... hope the TAX truck rolls away pretty soon. Also pleased to hear that a lot of you have been able to take holidays, get on with gardening and housework and are feeling more energetic.... although it does make me feel jealous!

Pixie, hope you're OK - you've been very quiet, but I think you had training sessions planned so perhaps you've been busy with work. Your portacath saga gets worse and worse. Did you ever make a formal complaint about that initial insertion? I think it's important that the person responsible is retrained so that they can't inflict the same amount of damage on anyone else... it's outrageous what you've had to go through.

Hilary - hope you enjoy your Yorkshire trip - but also hope you're prepared for the temperature drop - it's got quite cool and breezy now - definitely autumnal. Would definitely have to be an indoor spa over here!

Lee - definitely a good idea to split up during shopping trips! I don't like shopping at the best of times and absolutely hate having to trail around after someone else especially if they're dithering. I think I have a male attitude to shopping - go in, get what I came for and leave! I think I would have disowned your OH too if he was causing that much havoc with the mattress!

Anyway, need to sort myself out ready for hospital appointment. Take care everyone.

Sara x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Morning all,
Have to admit to being worried about some of us! Vanns, don't expect too much too soon. You were hit really very hard by the tax and it will take time to get back to how you were, but you will, I am convinced. Everyone i"ve seen a year on from their treatment is so, so much better and looking great. One damned day at a time is a cliche, but you have to abide by it. Pixie as well, I can only imagine how upsetting the thought of surgery to the jugular must be. Have my fingers crossed that the physio works and that you won't need it! Give us an update when you have a mo.
Sara, haven't heard from you in a while, and there are other bunnies who have gone very quiet. I think this is a tricky time cos of variations in treatment and the ground has shifted. Having said that, maye the quiet bunnies are out partying and have not a minute to spend dwelling on boring old cancer!!! Let's hope that's so.
I am just being really selfish. Learning Italian in bed, getting up late. Because I can, just for today. The exercise regime will happen when it's time.
An Ikea story for you.
A friend of mine has just had to hire a transit van to take her son back to university as he is now renting a flat and needs to kit it out. She travelled for three hours with her son and OH ( who loathes shopping and doesnt drive) and they made a pact to try to get through the shopping without any arguments and try to have a nice day. ( Like you do) On arrival at the car park, it wasnt obvious where they could park, so OH and son got out, went off in different directions and came back with different ideas on where to park. Friend decided that rather than upset either of them, she would go off in her own direction. half an hour later.....When they finally arrived inside, it was obvious that son wanted to go off and browse, loading a trolley with kitchen stuff for his new flat.... friend suggested very tactfully that OH go off and buy the double bed, giving him a bit of control and a clever bit of psychology, she thinks. She notices that the place is full of couples having arguments.
Twenty minutes later friend is walking down one aisle and spots OH in the distance with a double mattress balanced sideways across a single trolley trying to negotiate the walkways, muttering under his breath like a madman, and knocking other customers from pillar to post. Friend is horrified. Thinks s***, s***, s***, that's my husband, and scoots into another aisle to hide from him until he's gone past. At the checkout, she says to OH " I see you found the bed then. "Son is mortified, tells him to put the mattress up the other way, they have a massive row and physical struggle with it in the queue, while friend is now pretending that she knows neither of them.
Hey ho, family life eh?
Good luck with the Yorkshire trip, Hilary, hope you find somewhere lovely. Love to all those lurking in the corners of the warren feeling miserable.... looking forward to hearing from you all soon. Keep posting.

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Little Chick – Nice to see you again – however, sorry to hear you are under the truck. Get back into the hammock and let us do our magic............. Truck will be run off the cliff. Congratulations on getting through to the last one.

Pepihorse – Well done to you also for getting to the end – truck blown to bits!

Sameelee3 – Hi!!!! Glad you enjoyed Scotland. I have a friend like yours who has been so wonderful during this journal.

Namar82 – I am on Letrozole and when I first took it felt nauseas for hour or so but has now worn off. Hope the se passes on soon – agree with Southpool plenty of water.

Southpool – Have a lovely time in Wales and enjoy your holidays

Vanns – I think you are suffering so much as you were so fit. Personal trainer organised rather hunky punkawallah who also doubles up as trainer. They will meet you on the beach this morning at 8am – okay?, starting with Yoga as Rache1P suggested .

Ambarose – So glad to hear that you have sorted work out – I think your boss has no idea what you have gone through – well done as letting him know. Take care.

Rache1P – I think yoga is a good idea – have my CD ready to play – but have not done it yet. Keep mentioning yoga and make me feel guilty so I get my butt moving.

All other bunnies stick up a paw and wave to us especially those reported missing or I will send Amber in – sorry but we are getting worried. Pixie you are quiet hope it is because you are busy and not too unwell.

Flying to Yorkshire this morning. Will be looking out for the MacMillan 3 or sniffing for the smell of Vicks. So excited – looking forward to the change of scenery.

The Spa is in the safe hands of the team & punkawallahs. If you need anything just let me know as I will be popping in as often as I can.

Huge Hugs & Kisses to All Bunnies and hoping that all ses are minor and becoming just a memory.

Hilary xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Not having indigestion, just about ten hot flushes each day. Can't wait for cooler weather.

I have had nine rads with fourteen more to go. So far boob is a bit sore, especially when I managed to catch it on the patio door, ouch! Not too bad though, I have more energy than I have for months!

Vanns, I'm sure the joints must be due to the walking rather than alcohol! I'd cut that out first. I have been doing some yoga to get some very gentle exercise while I build my strength up. May be worth a go?

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi all,
Glad to hear that everyone has finished chemo I think. I am still waiting for Rads planning-4 weeks now since last chemo so i rang them today and was told next week or following week and then start within 3 weeks of planning.
I hope that this will be a breeze compared to chemo-anyone any tales to tell yet. I start Tamoxifen in 2 days and not looking forward to the hot flushes again.
Sorry to haer the tales of the portacath sage- my hugs to you pixie, it is so unfair.
I nearly went into melt down last week at work- think boss forgot I still had treatment to do and started piling the workload on till I felt I could not cope at all. had big emotional outburst at home-first time OH has seen me in tears about this whole bc thing and all i wanted to do was leave work and not work again. I did have a good cry and talk and then had talk with boss and reminded him that I am not firing on all cylinders yet and won't be for some time(if ever again-did not tell him that bit). He did back off and agreed to reconsider what he had asked me to do by January 2013 so hope that is sorted out.
Vanns- it sounds horrrid to have such swollen feet but I do understand about the exercise- I went for a little run yesterday-the first for months and although I have been walking a lot it obviously has not kept my fitness up . It will be a long haul.

Must go now love to all

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

hi all,
pjust a quick update. fat joints returned and I'm beginning to think that they might be a result of alcohol - ahhhhhhr! I went for a curry on Friday night and drank a pint and a half. before I had even gotten home the fat feet were back. it's either that or walking as I did about a 45 minute walk that aftnoon. also I have really bad peripheral neuropathy and my fingernails are lifting on both my index fingers, making all dexterity tasks difficult. gosh this is starting to feel like a big moan again. sorry.
i also went on my bike today for the first time since chemo 1. I only managed 7 minutes and ended up stopping and having a cry partly because both my legs and strangly my arms felt so dead and painful but also out of frustration. will I ever get back to the person I was. I have to try and shift some of this weight because I'm running out of clothes but it's so difficult when exercise is so difficult. I'm tired and get fatigued easily butif I do anything strenuous even hovering my arms swell up and are really painful. it feels like a lactic build up but it ia accompanied by the tightness of swelling. I so want the old me back. the bike thing was so crushing today as I just didn't realise my fitness was so low. I'm going to ask ONC if physio might help my poor muscles.
Anyway it could be so much worse. I could have had a portacath ! poor poor pixie. give us a twitch if you are reading!
sorry for the moan. any chance of a fitness programme from a personal trainer at spa del campo?
vanns x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Nat

No indigestion problems for me, I take them first thing glass of water before & glass of water after. Do have aches in my hips & pelvis though, but not enough that I need pain killers. Also getting between 3 & 5 flushes during the day and a couple at night. But I had night flushes pre chemo & flushes with chemo so that may not be the tablets. Have bought flight socks ready or our hols & car journeys to Wales.

Good to compare.
S x

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

This post goes out to all bunnies taking Tamoxifen......proper post to follow tonight.

Question.......are any of you suffering with bad acid indegestion about 30 mins after taking?

Looking forward to hearing from you bunnies

Nat xxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hello everyone, back from Scotland and chilling in bed before doing all the washing that has built up! Fantastic news that LittLe Chick and Pepihorse have finished treatment now: THE END of this horrible stage of treatment has actually arrived. Yes, there might be other stuff in store for us, but not much can be worse than chemo, surely?
Sorry to hear that you need an mx, gadget girl, I know you were hoping that it wouldn't come to that. It is amazing how quickly everything heals, though. I had an expander fitted, and it has helped to have a shape on the BC side, but don't know if that is an option for you? Dear Pixie, I feel so angry that the portocath drama continues. The treatment is bad enough without having to cope with surgery caused by ineptitude! Let's hope that they get it sorted now. Glad to hear that you are becoming recognisable again, Vanns! Good to have you back Nat! And hope the Bath weekend was a nice treat, Gaynor. Hi Hilary! Mary and everyone else.
Margie, bonjour, took my first anastrazole last night, so await any SE's. Am hoping to use mind over matter, but glad to hear that you are feeling no ill effects! Enjoy the festival, Southpool, let me know if you find the book useful: there was only one section that wasn't so relevant because the writer is American, but it definitely helped me.
Scotland was beautiful; sister and brother in law live in a gorgeous house on the banks of the Clyde, and we did lots of driving together. Weather good apart from the glen Coe day, when it was wet, wild and windy. No visibility, which was a shame. Had a brilliant day on my own in Glasgow with a friend from way back. I love the way we see each other so rarely, yet when we do meet up, we pick up as if we lived next door to each other. She's a real tonic.
Tidying up today, and planning a bit. Enjoying having the house to myself for a few hours as OH is working this morning. Toast and coffee in bed! Reading Parade's End. Might never work again! ( if only) Would spend my time taking mini breaks to all the places I've not seen yet. Love the feeling of coming home after being away- sleeping in my own bed is bliss.
Am rambling now bunnies, and can't face editing. Love to everyone, and so so glad that many of us are feeling better every day.
Take care and enjoy the day,

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Feels good to get the last one over doesnt it? weve just got to wave bye bye now to this bloody truck for good!!! and then a little celebration I think!

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Waving a paw, feel terrible and under the tax truck but still here and I have b****y done it! Xxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Gaynor have a fab weekend & great birthday. Chemo brain I missed you out!

S x

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Morning Bunnies

Pixie – Really sorry to hear about the Portocath debacle – what a nightmare. Sending healing waves to you. You pop into the hammock and I will be there with all the oils & potions to try & cheer you up.

Ambarose – Glad you enjoyed your cruise – however, very worried about your statement “like a rabbit up a drainpipe” . You’ll get stuck!

Pepihorse - Glad to hear you are feeling better. Sorry to hear about the eyebrows biting the dust but not too worry they will grow in thicker and stronger when they do.

Big M - Hoping your throat is improving and again sorry to hear that you have to an MRI to find out why you are still getting pains from the reconstructed boob. Sending healing waves to you also.

Chrisp1e – Nice to see you back and I do hope you have been lounging in the hammock after the busy period you have had.

Southpool - Hoping your hair grows soon for you to go commando. Did I read right large birthmark & extra brain on the back of your neck? No wonder you are intelligent! Glad you are enjoying the time in the hammock listening to the waves. Enjoy your music festival.

Vanns - Glad to hear that the water tablets are beginning to work. Hope you are enjoying your walks with your dogs.

GMT – Happy Birthday and hope you had a lovely time in Bath.

Gadget –Gal - Glad you have your op date now and as someone else said the op is not too bad and the pain is also bearable. Shall be thinking of you and sending healing waves to you.

Namar82 – Lovely to see you back in the warren again – was getting worried about you.

Margietee – I am sure you are having a wonderful time in France. Which part are you in?

Well today I have managed to do quite a bit of work in the garden which I have not been able to do in the past – got the energy for it. Cutting the bourganvillea back, up ladders etc.

Really excited about being back in the UK next week although I see you bunnies have not got the weather organised for me tsk tsk. After all the sunshine I arranged for you bunnies HMPH! Staying in Harrogate and travelling around the Yorkshire area, already got the thermal vests washed just in case! My Mum is joining us next weekend from the Edinburgh area and also meeting up with friends from Penrith for dinner one evening. So with visitors, find a house for us and a place for Gerard’s parents to live in we have got a lot to do within a week!

Roll call for those missing TEABELLY............, Hyzenthlay, Sarabee2012, RachelP, Kittyqueen, Little Chick, Sara12, Libby12 & Sameelee3 – A wave of a paw please or I will send Amber out to find you (she is the one in my picture).

Just checked through our posts looking for names and SPACEHOPPER have not heard from you since August so come on bunny come out of the warren and say HI - please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hammocks have been moved a bit further out of the shade as the sun is not as strong as it was previously but don’t worry if it does a get a bit warm the punkawallahs are there to cool you down and there are large parasols to cover you. The chefs are waiting for your orders for lunch, lots of fruit smoothies, chilled fruit juices, wine & champagne. Sushi bar is also fully stocked and chefs have also got some lovely fresh oysters.

Enjoy your day lovely bunnies.

Big Hugs & Kisses to ALL

Hilary xxxxxxxx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

It is beautifully sunny today & OH has gone to Southport Airshow, so I am having a chilled out day at home. Will do some cleaning (sadI know but I like cleaning) & the some friends are coming for a BBQ tonight (our 1st of the year).

MarGie glad all was well in France enjoy your break, lovely food & sunshine in your own place sounds great.
Big M I have also got the moving on pack & it is really good. Am also ordering the book Lee recommended. reading really helps me structure & rationalise my thoughts.
Gadget Gal sorry you need a mx. I had mx & full node clearance & can honestly say it was a doddle compared to chemo. Used codeine & paracetomal for a week but the pain was fine. Just make sure you do the exercises.
Nat you have been busy, it is great to do normal things again though isn't it. I've got my rad planning on the 20th as well and am expecting to start on 11th October.

Have a busy week ahead, am working 3 days, have a board induction morning at the women's resource centre I have volunteered at and head off to Portmerion on Thursday night for a weekend music festival. It really is feeling like I am heading towards my 'new & slightly different
normal' which is really good. Because I am starting rads later I have blocked it from my mind & will deal with the hassle that will bring when I am nearer to beginning.

Off to get my rubber gloves on to protect my ugly nails while I scrub.
Enjoy the sunshine bunnies.
Love & virtual hugs.
S x

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Wow. I can't believe it. For the first time since the forum supposed upgrade months ago I seem to be able to post from my HTC android phone. So many posts to answer but I think I will do that tomorrow from the laptop where I can easily read back through posts. A few comments for now though.

Nat, great to see you back. Gadget gal sorry to hear you still need Mx. Tracey, where are you? School is back so we want you back. Southpool hope weekend was good in harlech. Pixie, so sorry to hear your portacath probe continue. How awful for you. Sincerely hope mother's leg heals ok. Wendy, I'm with you on he neuropathy. It is very debilitating, thouGH I think pix is worse off than us. Mary thanks for heads up on the BCC moving forward info. Gaynor happy birthday for Tuesday, hope you ate having a great weekend in bath. There you go, I remembered a few comments I wanted to make. I know there are more.....

Well, we got to our house in France today. All is remarkably good after being closed up for 6 months. Great to be here for a full week. Weather is unbelievable. Cobwebs everywhere but I can live with those. Our internet connection is up and running so I can keep up to speed with postings, thankfully, as I am lost with my bunny friends.

I've started anastrazole 11 days ago. No SEs evident as yet.

Campo, foot massage required. Is that ok?

Must go. OH just dishing up a baked local fish - maigre if anyone's heard of it. It's delicious. Back soon.

Love, Margiexxx

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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi Bunnies

I am sorry that I have been away from the warren for so long. I have only just caught up on all the posts this morning. I have had a busy few weeks, starting with my mums surprise 60th birthday, went really well and she had a lovely day. I then went on a spa day for my friends hen, not as good as Campos spa but relaxing all the same and her wedding Wednesday just gone.....a gorgeous day and the weather was so good to them. All this combined with going back to work after last chemo resulted in me getting behind on posts and then as fast as I read them more kept appearing.

Sara, I am so glad to hear that your op went well and that you are recovering at home.

Vanns, I am glad I am not the only one blowing up like a balloon. My feet are so very swallon and I can't get my rings on my fingers. I hardly fit in any of my clothes and when I have been sitting down and get up again, I feel like I can hardly move. Mentioned all this to oncologist yesterday and he said that the chemo does this to us, it will go away by itself but I need to keep active, go for plenty of walks etc. I put on 8kgs during chemo, not good!

Pixie, glad Bertie is allowed to stay and so sorry to hear about your portacath fiasco, can't believe you have to have another operation. Hope mothers leg is nothing too horendous.

To all other bunnies, hope you are doing ok.

Regarding diagnosis and treatment, this is me......Grade 3 ILC, 55mm tumour, ER+, 1/26 nodes involved with 4mm deposit, masectomy and immediate DIEP recon to RH breast, full node clearance, 6 cycles of TAC chemo, 5 years of Tamoxifen and Zoladex and 25 sessions of Rads.

I started Tamoxifen today and will have my Zoladex injection next week (not looking forward to that). I have my rads planning on the 20th September before I go away on the 29th and will start my rads on the 10th Oct which is the day after I get back from holiday.

Let me know if I have missed anything bunnies, as I can't remember back to all the posts, lol.

Love to you all and I promise I won't wonder off on my own anymore.

Nat xxx
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone,

I was lurking via phone email again - it was a busy few days. 

It was my mim's 65th birthday on Sunday. I invited the whole family plus friends to a local restaurant it was a complete surprise for her: I had let a couple of things slip but they obviously didn't register at the time.

   I finally got to see tre surgeon on Wednesday . Unfortunately I still
 need a mastectomy. Even though the chemo made sone improvements, the recurrence risk is still high.

I will have all the lymph nodes taken out for the same reason, even
Though the biopsies were negative.

They've booked me in for 27th September.  Radiotherapy will be a month after that. However, reconstruction won't be done for at least 12 months.  

Ok with it so far. I'm disappointed but  if that's what it takes, then it had to be done. I'm not looking forward to recovering from both thread rectory and node clearance. I want some good painkillers!
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Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi all

I have just received my copy of the Moving Forward information pack from Breast Cancer Care and it is brilliant. I can recommend it to everyone. Its acknowledgement of how you feel emotionally after breast cancer was spot on for me, and made me cry. I am going to ask my OH to read that section because it explains how I feel better than I would ever be able to.

Southpool - the cheque is in the poast

Have a good weekend


Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Hi everyone,
Completed 4 rads this week. They cancelled Monday so will go into a fourth week but never mind. Surprised how pink my skin has gone already even though slathering on the cream. Could be cos I'm having a bolus ( gel pad) on for the first 5 treatments so they can zap my mx scar. Having lifts from a local cancer support charity 4 out of 5. The volunteers are lovely and I've also met some very nice people also having lifts. One lady is on her 3rd lot of chemo and is having over 30 rads, it has made me count my blessings! Also started Letrozole on Monday, not much to report so far, except a bit of a strange taste in my mouth but not sure it's the tablets.
I'm not due to go back to work until January unless I want to go back before. Not really spoken to school officially about this but deputy head who keeps in touch has also said not to go back until fully fit. I am also toying with the idea of not going back. Nearly handed in my notice last Oct and have got some savings which I could eek out for a few months. I will give it some serious thought after rads. Life is too short to continue to do a job which has made me very unhappy. I have enjoyed the previous three schools very much so I have to hold on to the fact that this job just doesn't fit and it's not me.
Off to Bath for the weekend, it's my birthday Tues and as having rads that day thought I'd so something before I get too tired. I hope my 51st year is a bit more exciting and not so challenging as my 50th!
Hope everyone is feeling a bit better and stronger. Have we all finished chemo? sorry I'm not very good at remembering all the posts. If anyone is still suffering chemo SE's,big hugs and it will soon be over.
Enjoy the sunshine.
Gaynor xx

Re: Starting chemo in April 2012

Well. stomach now ok, no loo visits lately, probably go the other way now! Last injection tonight, must say do feel much better having them, wish Id had them each time, rather than after emergency hospital infection ! have had a bad back ache with them occasionally but keep it under control with Oramorph,
Went to have Rads pre assessment and CT scan this morning in preperation of Rads which start on the 20th September, got 3 weeks worth, funny how some people have 15 days worth and some have more, wonder why? or it could be just different hospital policy.
So feeling better, now thats out of the way, and the last Tax, so just radiotherapy now to look forward to ! then reconstruction I suppose.........
Would like the Neuropathy and sore feet/hands to go away too, then perhaps normality ! I still have no hair either bunnnies, just flufff, and thats coming off later so hopefully it will all grow back together !!! Oh and my final few eyebrows bit the dust yesterday too, had to draw them on today !!!
Take care bunnies, have a good day !!!
Wendy xxx