Starting chemo in April 2012

[Vanns]

Hi buns,
Just a quick post tonight to say how much I have enjoyed reading everyone's posts and I hope we can get both regional meets and BF2 ( The Warren Strikes back) off thr ground soon.
MarGie I love reading what you write and am very impressed you managed zumba. Take it easy though.
Lee, I would love to meet up in Cheltenham. It's not far from me and gaynor and a lovely place to visit. We are ther this Saturday. If I can squeeze in a spot we could meet for coffee whilst oh tries on shoes ( she loves the shoe shops in Cheltenham) I will PM you if it's going to be possible but don't plan round me.
Nat, you have every right to feel low but we are all here for you if you need to chat.
Sarabee, good on you for getting a plan together. I absolutely have to talk to you aboThisbe dog training venture as its also my goal. Have you got any suggestions for separation anxiety in a dog that's just lost its chum and hasn't been without me for 8 months. She has started to howl when I leave her!
Whoever said to pixie that she should "stay away from the water" I thought was very funny.
Its a bit like thou shalt not google. It could be added to our rules lol
BFN
Vannsx

[GMT]

Hi everyone, yep I've felt really down too. Had a bit of a melt down at my expert patients course, we were talking about managing difficult emotions. Went to the loo, came out and had a good blart! Also my sleeping pattern is really bad so been to doc who has given me amitryptiline ( or something like). Took it once for nerve pain but doc says itshould help and not addictive like trad sleeping tabs. Also I got 3 months of Letrozole. So if one gp can do it, why can't the rest?
Margie, my celecoxib is in capsule form so I could open one. Tasted another after our conversation, it was a bit bitter but not too bad!
Yes it would be good to do local meet ups. I'm off on holiday next week but would be good to meet up in Cheltenham before Xmas Lee, Sara, Vanns and anyone else.
Going to meet the friend of one of the TAs who works with me on Friday. She is a week on from her first chemo. She is really struggling and feels so alone and scared. I bet we all remember that feeling but the warren was a life line for us all and I hope I can help her through a little. I will point her in the direction of the bcc forums and hope she finds the support we all have.
Will sign off now, take care everyone. Watch those waves carefully, Pixie.
GaynorXx
Ps thank you for my book from BF, it's a really good read.

[sara12]

Hi to all droopy bunnies

Pixie - I hope you are somewhere safe and able to enjoy the drama without being directly involved in it. Feel really sorry for all those people who are having to do without power for up to two weeks in NY... imagine having to walk up 25 floors or something - I'm still having difficulty with one flight of stairs!

Nat - it's only natural to be down on the anniversary of your loss - my thoughts are with you.

Wendy - sorry to hear your feet are still so sore. Mine are pretty tender but not as bad as yours - lost another toenail yesterday as well and suspect they will all come off eventually. Just as well that it's winter and they are covered up.

Margie - congrats on getting to a Zumba class - I still can't contemplate anything like that - just the walking around at the weekend knocked me out and I've had to take it easy over the past couple of days - aching everywhere.

I'm a bit down too - but then I always get a bit like that when the clocks change - hate the dark evenings and can't wait for the clocks to change back in the spring. Speaking of which, I think it's a good idea to put another date in the diary and April would be good because the clocks have changed by then and the days are longer. Regional meet-ups would be good too - happy to travel to Cheltenham.

Southpool, I've been thinking of you when I go to rads. They've changed the schedules so by the time I get there the waiting room is almost empty, but I have to choose my chair carefully because there are wee stains on the pale pink upholstery of all the chairs and I try to work out if any of them are recent so I can avoid them.... due to all those 'old people' (of which I am one) you see! I find the waiting room depressing too and have taken to sitting in the reception area in the foyer instead, until 5 mins before my appt is due. Fortunately I rarely have to wait too long.

Anyway, it's not going to do any of us any good to feel down, however justified it is with all our individual trials and tribulations - I am trying to get myself in a better frame of mind. Part of the problem is not having the energy to go out and do the sort of things that would normally cheer me up... a walk round an arboretum, visiting an exhibition, etc etc.

Does anyone want to participate in a memory test? While we are waiting for the official BF photos, I have a group photo which I can send if you PM me your email address. Then you can see if you can remember everyone's names.... I'm ashamed to say that I can't quite identify all of them - there's a couple I keep getting mixed up.... but I'm notoriously bad with names anyway, so please don't take it personally! I'd really appreciate it if someone could identify all the names for me so that I can remember them for our next meet up and also to make sure that I'm visualising the right person when reading the posts.

Sara x

[Gadget__gal]

oh another thing I didn't get round to posting:

there are Lingerie events on the BCC front page. I went to the East London one last week and it was quite interesting. if you've had any type of surgery you can get ideas on which bras will work for your frame and your breasts/prostetheses. they weren't all about post surgery bras either, whis was good to know.

Plus, I don't know if John Lewis advertise this well enough, but if you book with them, they'll spend an hour with you helping you find the right bras. Plus they have dedicated fitting rooms. I didn't know this till they said so at the event.

if there is one near you, do go along.

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-services/information-support-sessions/lingerie-evenings?utm_source=Homepage&utm_medium=Slideshow&utm_campaign=Lingerie

[Gadget__gal]

so.. movie trivia: am I right in thinking that the Day after Tomorrow was where we saw New York covered in snow and the main characters needed a GPS to find the NYC Library, and 2012 was the film in which global warming caused the Tsunami that would flood most (if not all) of the world?

With regards to the blues, is it too early to look forward to Christmas, I wonder? if you don't observe, perhaps get into some of the 'seasonal' things. e.g. some mulled wine. I'm going to try some Sainsbury's makes a spiced apple juice. I'll report back if it's any good

I was really low myself yesterday. On sunday I went to hospital with a suspected ear infection, they sent me to A&E (because of the cancer) where they gave me antibiotics. I thought all would be well till the sniffles from Monday turned into aches and pains on Tuesday and I ended up in bed all day. I ate a slice of toast for the whole day becuse I couldnt get to the kitchen to get some food. I was worried I'd miss my holiday too, which made me really miserable. Given that this is my last chance for a getway before raiotherapy planning, I was really peeved. I had a moan on Facebook though, and people commented and wished me well.

I'm feeling a bit better today. I made it to the Breast Cancer Haven for my shiatsu massage. the therapist also suggested another exercise I could add to my daily exercises, so that was helpful too. If I continue at this rate, I will be able to go away

On another note, the nurse who took my details at A&E was probably my age and she'd ony recently had her treatment for cervical cancer. she told me a little about herself. Her SEs were so bad they cancelled her last chemo and then she was onto have 40 radiotherapy sessions! she was almost welling up as she re-counted all this. She mentioned something having pain and sores before she stopped herself. However as, I could guess *where* those sores were, I suggested a product that is made for women with cancer with *those* problems. I asked the nurse if it was harder to look back afterwards and she agreed that it is.

I won't have my reconstruction till this time next year (at the earliest) so Im interested in hearing your experiences. They did not take away any of my muscle (I was concerned about that) so the surgeon says they wont take any back muscle to reconstruct. They have alluded to the implant+fat method for me. Is that DIEP? the nurse said "lookign at your frame, we have plenty of options for reconstruction, we can use your own body" I guess that's her calling me fat!!

If anyone does want to meet up, I'm in the London and close to some good transport links. while I have time on my hands give me a shout.

[margietee]

Bunnies, have you seen that the forum is to be completely rebuilt next year following user questionnaires etc? There is a link at the top of the menu on the left of the forum pages titled Fresh Start for Forum. Let's hope we maintain continuity throughout, but at least we now have started sharing email addresses etc, now we are groomed, so will be able to keep in touch no matter what. xxxx

[margietee]

Nat - huge hugs to you from me.

Margiexx

[namar82]

Hi bunnies

I think April is a great time to meet up, and the sooner we get a date in the diary, the better, lol.

Pixie, glad you are safe, keep posting as and when you can. I am more than happy to help with the happy bag production line, so let me know as and when. Also, when you are back, we will have to get a date in the diary and meet up with Jill.

Pepihorse, I hope you get the appointment for your op soon but just so you know, the DIEP is using your tummy and the TRAM is using the muscle from your back. I only know this because I had a DIEP back in March at the same time as my mastectomy. I personally haven't had any problems with the DIEP but can understand you going for the TRAM with an implant.

Thank you for my special wave Lee, I am feeling a little better thank you but not 100%. This is a bad week for me bunnies, especially this weekend as it is the 1st year anniversary since I lost my son. I just can't believe that it has been a year already, so much has happened in that year and I now look back at it all in such disbelief. I sometimes think that I am dreaming and I will wake up soon and everything will be ok, back to when I was at my happiest. I do try to stay strong and positive but can't help having the bad days 😞

Sara, good luck speaking to your boss on Friday, please let us know how it goes.

MarGie, I am quite jealous of you trying out the Zumba class. I just don't feel up to doing anything yet. I think I will try in the new year......start the year as I mean to go on.

Well got to go make the dinner now ready for when hubby gets home, like the good little wifey that I am.....not, lol.

Speak soon and love to all

Nat xxxx

[pepihorse]

Hi Sameelee3, I saw the plastic surgeon, and she reckons she will be able to do the top ups of the expander, although I had 2 nurses try and they couldnt do it, so I have an appointment in 2 weeks time to see if anyone can do the top up , should be interesting ! so wish me luck on that ! She has now decided she is going to do the Diep flap (muscle from back) and also put in an implant as no got enough fat there to swivle round to the front with the muscle. She was after my belly (Tram flap) but I didnt want that, known too many people have a lot of problems with that, also Ive had a hysterectomy so already got one long scar, and we decided on the Diep with implant. (Thats if they can get enough saline into the expander first to try and grow me some more skin) So we will see what happens, I will keep you posted. Hope you get your appointment through soon, I had to ring and make my own appointment as I never heard anything either, so maybe best to chase them up.
I am pretty knackered now as long drive to hospital, and appointment was 1 hour late, and then chemo brain kicked in and I couldnt find the car, I must have passed it at least twice ! I walked miles around all the car parks to try to find it, I was convinced someone had stolen it! but I found it eventually after about another hour!! what an idiot !
Just got back from walking the dog for another 3/4 hour and now my poor hot red feet are killing me !
Going to have a nice cup of tea now and relax for the rest of the day !
Wendy xx

[margietee]

Lovely to hear from you again Hyzenthlay. You're right. Bunnyfeste was amazing. Hopefully you'll join us for BF2 next year. Good luck with the rest of your rads.

Sarabee, all the best for your meeting with the boss on Friday. Pleased to hear you'll be doing the dog training full time next year and good luck with the in between time raising the funds to get you where you want to be.

It sounds as if bunnyfest was a turning point for many bunnies. I am so envious of those of you who have bunnies in your neighbourhood and can arrange mini fests. I have a feeling teabelly and I are in the same neighbourhood, but where are you teabelly? You've gone AWOL again. I don't think there is anyone from bunnyfeste that lives near me. I'd love to have a date in the diary for BF2 in 2013 .... April sounds good to me as it would be the anniversary of us all starting chemo And we could celebrate starting out together. Or someone (was it Vanns?) suggested we should make it as close as poss to the date when Pixie started the thread (march 26, as we have now been reminded thanks to the bunny quiz!) Trouble is for me that is very close to my wedding anniversary (march 31) and we are often away for that. Also in 2013 Easter is the weekend immediately following thread-birth day when some people may be away anyway. Perhaps we could do something later in April? Or is it too soon to be thinking of this?

Like others I have been feeling flat since the weekend. I am also feeling ongoing effects from the rads. My boob is more sore now than when I was having the rads and I have stabbing pains in and around my nipple, particularly when I am trying to get comfy in bed. I know this will pass but can't wait for it to do so. I ventured into a Zumba class this morning. Thoroughly enjoyed the music and some of the routines but had to stand out for a fair bit of it. Aside from low energy levels I feel really stiff and unflexible. Again hopefully this will pass soon. Lee let us know if you do change from anastrazole to letrozole. On the question of brand I have been assured by my team that with anastrazole it really doesn't matter which brand you are on nor if the brand is changed. Good job as mine is different every time.

Gaynor, I tried snapping a celecoxib in two this morning and it wouldn't break. I'll try cutting it with a knife or scissors tomorrow and will report back on taste!!!

Campo how was Cirencester? Are you back in Spain yet? Southpool, I keep picturing you in the train with your fan!

Pixie, are things calming down out there now? I keep expecting to see you popping up on the news giving comment on it all. Cant wait to get the pix of bunnyfeste when you are back.

To everyone, lots of love and bunny hugs. even if I've not mentioned you, I am thinking of you ....

MarGie xxx

[sarabee2012]

Glad I'm not the only blue bunny! Actually, after I posted and then read the replies I realised that I wasn't alone and it made me feel a bit better. The strength in the group at Bunnyfeste actually made me think about "real life" - something I haven't done for a while now.

I am still tired and my boobs still ache after the surgery and the rads but I do feel like I've woken up from a very long dream. My chemo brain is still a little fuzzy but actually I have started to feel more normal - mentally at least. Sat and talked with my OH about life and going forward and we now have a life-plan in place. The good news is that I will be doing the dog training full time next year but the bad news is that I will have to go back to work to get some much needed money in so we can at least pay our bills and have some stability for a few months. OH is also doubling his efforts to find work and he is being incredibly supportive and positive.

Incredibly nervous about going into the office and worried that I will get tired easily but staying away is just making it worse and my confidence has taken a bit of a knock to be honest. Now, most of you know that I have difficult bosses, so I am going to have to manage them and remind them that I'm back in the office but not going to do the same level of work that I did previously. I've booked an appointment to meet with the boss on Friday and also to see my GP next week to get me signed back on a phased return. At least I will get the chance to see what the lay of the land is before I commit to anything. In truth, I'd love to stay off for a bit longer but needs must! So if I have to do this, I'm going to do it on my terms.

Pixie: keep safe and away from the water.

To all the bunnies in the warren, hello and I'm waving my paws at you!! Unpacked my case this morning and laughed when I saw my "instrument" laying there. Can you believe we did that? Enough to make me smile and think lovely warm thoughts about you all.

Big M and I will definitely be meeting up soon and I think it would be lovely to do some regional meets as well to keep the momentum going. I didn't realise how much I rely on you lot until just now.

Off to eat my Roses chocs from the quiz now!

Hugs,
Sarabee xxx

[Hyzenthlay]

Well you can certainly count me in for the blue bunny club. Very droopy ears. "What now?" seems to bear heavily on me. My work problem is that I don't have a job - though I am doing some work for a friend up until the end of the year, so I will have some Christmas cash.
I have started rads (number 7 out of 20 today) and also tamoxifen, which may be a reason for the downward trajectory. Also from January I will be put on Zoladex, which means an injection every month for 2 years, which I wasn't expecting.
Bunnyfest sounded amazing!
Hyzenthlay
xx

[Sameelee3]

Forgot to say hi to Wendy- good luck with the chest expander issue. Gaynor and I compared breasts on Saturday and some special bunnies copped a feel! I think there are only 3 of us with the brick in our chests. Still no date for my implant surgery as yet. Let us know how you get on today.
Xxx

[Sameelee3]

Me too!!!
I have been reading all your posts since we came home and definitely feel the same. I thought I was low due to exhaustion after so much walking in Lisbon and then Bunnyfest energy. I think Pixie's right- Saturday was a goal for us all, something to aim for and be well for! And now it is over we need other things to aim for and look forward to. It is all very well to try to live in the moment, but personally I also need stuff to look forward to.
I had a minor meltdown this morning as oh watched me hobble to the bathroom, and hearing me say that all my bones ache. Just listening to myself talk about how crap my body still feels really upset me and i found myself crying. It just doesn't stop does it? I felt really good last week while I was away- kept up with all the sight-seeing and gallery visits etc. I almost felt like my old self! This week, I feel so old. My skin has become really sensitive, and I have no energy. I keep having to remind myself that I had my last dose of toxic chemicals on 1st August, and I haven't yet really healed from that either. And now I am taking a horrible drug that is eating away at my bones.
Am going to make a GP appt today to see whether it's worth swapping meds from Arimidex to Letrozole....... Just a thought. I also need to get the flu jab.
It would be great to plan a meet up with anyone who is over this side of the country! I know Vanns, you are coming to Cheltenham soon, and you are welcome to get in touch, but I am guessing that you are really looking forward to quality shopping/ cafe time with your OH! It is different when you have to consider a partner, cos they need time away from the bc as much as we do. Just PM me ifyou would like to meet up, but totally understand if you don't!
Ambarose, we could easily meet up. ( such a coincidence that you also have a strong Cheltenham connection!) I am not surprised you are still feeling iffy about work. I am beginning to dread going back, but can't admit this to anyone, as it feels like I am being defeatist. Gaynor and Maggie, we are also all within meeting distance. We could take pixie's advice and put a date in the diary?
Hilary has a list of all our email addresses, so when she gets home hopefully she will pass these on. We can then add addresses, (now that we're happy to have been groomed!) and have a clearer idea of distances. I Have no idea where some of us live!
I need to get up now, Buns, and face the day. It helps enormously to know that so many of us are going through the same feelings doesn't it.? Much love to all of you including those of you I haven't yet met!
PPixigal glad to hear you are safe and enjoying your trip. Special wave to Nat, as you sounded really sad earlier in the week. Hope you feel better today.
Love, Lee
X

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

I am still in the blue bunny club, but as Pixie has quite rightly pointed out it is only to be expected after all that anticipation & then loveliness on the day. Me & Libby are close so hopefully we will be able to catch up and I will be able to admire her lovely hair again!

Am working from home today as have realised I can't actually manage working from the office 3 days on the trot combined with the hell that is rads. Last night despite my best efforts I was waiting nearly 2 hours. OH was with me & he was really shocked at how much sitting in a waiting room full of old folk ( I mean in their 80's MarGie!) for so long upsets you. He has headed off to work all sad & down now!! But I am 3/4 there and have two concerts & the bond film to look forward to when I finish. I have booked a week off early December to do absolutely nothing, it is the 1st opportunity I have but think I will need it, rads has left me far more tired & emotional than I expected.

Vans I'm also on Workhardt and ask the pharmacist which brand they have before I will accept them.

Pixie I now have visions of you standing at the shore risking being washed away by huge crashing waves. I hope you are watching from a distance, keeping warm & staying safe. Even though it isn't what you expected it does sound rather exciting, I so hope you are having a fabulous time and your mojo is returning!!

Campo I hope you are having a lovely time here in the UK, give us a wave if you can.

Well I had better sign off as this isn't getting my transition plans written.

Love & virtual hugs
S x

[Vanns]

Hi all,
Please can I join the blue bunny club too. I have been checking the warren a lot as I suddenly feel a bit lost now it's all over. Just as you said ambarose, the reality of life is looming large and I'm not liking it. I have been in the process of changing my broadband supplier ( to save money ) and last night I found myself briefly without a connection. I completely panicked at not being able to access the forum and was quite miserable for the entire evening. I'm pleased to report that Inow up and running again now with a saving of 5 quid a month Yipee!
For those of us on tamoxifen, do check the brand that you are taking. Apparently the two brands affect people differently. I'm taking the wockhardt brand which tends to be lessproblematic than the TEVA brand. It's worth checking if you are struggling with it.
I do hope we get a date in the diary soon.
Vannsx

[pepihorse]

Hi everyone, Bunnyfest sounded great, if you do have another one, I would definately love to come, hopefully I will be able to feel more up to driving that far. If any of you near to Suffolk would like a meet up, I am in Suffolk too, dont forget me !!
Well. rads site now beginning to itch slightly, not too bad, its been 3 weeks since finishing, so to be expected, still get a bit tired some days, but fight through it generally.
Toenails quite painful still, but not lost anymore yet, so thats good! I wore high heeled boots yesterday for the first time (been living in Ugg boots as they are so comfy) went to the Big C centre and had a free reflexology on feet, was quite relaxing, going for a massage next time, as feet still sore and last night feet was even sorer after the reflexology, so maybe it was the creams she put on them, perhaps were perfumed or something, must just stick to aquous cream as that doesnt sting them. Anyway the high heels were not a good choice as they seemed to press on my toenails and so I hobbled along on the way home! So back to Ugg boots again !
Hips still ache, especially in the mornings, until the co-codomol kicks in, bloody nuisance as want to stop taking drugs !
Still not gone back to work, really dont feel like it, got another month on sick leave, from Dr. so will see how I feel then. I would love to retire now, ive got the hang of not working! but now theyve brought in the age 66 before you get your pension, I dont think my savings will last that long ! Shame really as quite like these lazy days !
Hope you are all getting a little better each day, seems to take ages to get this Tax out of our systems, but hey ho,it must go soon I hope!
Have a nice Halloween everyone, must get some sweets today incase of trick or treat arriving at door tonight.
Have appointment today to find out whether chest expander implant has gone wrong and to see if they can do anything about it, as it wasnt right before chemo, so today I will find out, and at least know what sort of reconstruction I will have. So we will see.
Have a nice day Bunnies,
Wendy xx

[RachelP]

Ambarose,
That is exactly how I felt during rads, and just to warn you I felt even worse a week after. Is it possible for you to just stop with work for a few weeks to give yourself a rest?

[pesteringpixie]

Evening bunnies

Those of you who have felt low after bunnyfeste, it is to be expected. Bunnyfeste was one of the lights at the end of the tunnel for all of us, we spoke about it so much and along with the spa and the gruesome twosomes exploits, it kept us going through horrid experiences.

The day was more than i could have hoped for. It all felt so upbeat and full of love. Our endorphins woulb have been on overload, so to come down from that is a real crash. To have been in a room with each other gave us such a profound sense of empathy and the tangible connection we hadn't had before. There was something very special going on.

I purposely booked our holiday for the day after as knew i would crash big time otherwise. As it is, thres plenty of crashing going on with the 15' waves and trees and bits of houses flying about.

We are safe here in Maine and today spent time watching the biggest waves i have ever seen come crashing in. So all well here.

You know bunnies, BigM, who is not big, waving to you, and Sarabee are going to meet up again soon so theres no reason why those of us living nearer to each other can't do he same.

Namar, Rachel and me are within 40 miles of each other so perhaps we can arrange mini meet ups. Natalie, you are very close, i may be calling on you for some happy bag labour....... Am bursting with orders.

Vanns, would love to see you when you next in suffolk, we can talk hot flushes and our inspectors can talk pensions and commutations!
tomorrow we are off to do some more exploration of the maine coastline, very beautiful and dramatic.

Much love

Pixie xx

[libby12]

Hi everyone feeling down myself, we do need another date to look forward to, I feel very deflated if you know what I mean. Anyway started back at the gym, was quite fit before all this, but was really out of breath after a couple of mins on the running machine, one of the trainers in there said I would just have to build things up slowly, but I have no get up and go at the mo. I saw physio on Monday, she was really good and gave me a massage treatment on my neck and shoulders, she also massaged my viens, felt so much better afterwards, going next week for the same, she said that she could feel the knots in the viens which is caused by the chemo, I was so grateful that something is being done about them ,they are really sore. Big M have not been able to look at sausages since the buffet breakfast they have put me off for good.lol Sarah was the Day after Tomorrow the one were everything froze in New York!! Pop back tomorrow love to everyone Elaine xxxx

[ambarose]

I asked about 3 months and was told it was a government directive to prevent wastage of medicines!! So only get 1 month at a time.
X

[ambarose]

I too felt quite down yesterday and so am glad to hear I am not alone. All my lovely waiting room friends at Rads wanted to know how the "party" went and telling them brought it home that we have now done it, not there to look forward to anymore, Rads hopefully finishing next week but then Life and work carry on and the pressure cranks up or thats how it feels. I had all these good ideas of parttime work etc and just cannot see how it can be achieved at the moment as all I want to do is stop. I have to see if it is the Rads that is contributing to this general feeling of emotion or is it the Tamoxifen or everything we have been through. But it is supporting to know others feel the same.
Pixie, I do hope you are still above water level in Maine -what an adventure and watching the news it looks horrendous. What was that film was it Day after Tomorrow where the water flooded the streets of USA or something else-come on Quiz team of Namar and Sarabee 2012- I know you will know.
Love and hugs
XXXSarah

[southpool]

Hi Nat

Try my approach of begging letter and you might get 2 months like me. It is completely mad, what do they think we are going to do with the damn things.

Will post properly later when back from rads. Also suffering from a post Bunnyfeste come down, we need another date in the diary!!

Love & virtual hugs
S x

[namar82]

Just called docs to get a repeat prescription for my Tamoxifen, asked if they would give more than one months worth and was told that they can only give a month at a time.
Those of you who get 3 months at a time are very lucky.

Nat xxx

[RachelP]

Nat, Sarabee,
I think I've had a similar feeling. When bunnyfeste was first talked about and I sent my money winging across the Internet (highly inadvisable you are correct Vanns, really laughed at your post) I really didn't know if I'd have finished treatment, if I would have the energy to get to Birmingham, etc. driving home on Saturday it felt like a real milestone had been reached. And as for meeting all the bunnies, there was so much love in that room, everyone just there for each other, who wouldn't miss that?

Lee, maraca safely restored to it's chums in the Peppa Pig band collection!

Hilary, toddler has decided the castanets are ladybirds and was trying to feed her breakfast to one of them yesterday. Thank you so much for the fan, excellent for the flushes xx

[sarabee2012]

Hi Nat - have been feeling odd myself today. Sort of empowered but also deflated. Not sure that makes sense but I kind of feel like I've reached another point where real life is starting to loom largely in front of me. So you're not alone.

Pixie - glad to hear you're ok. Keep safe and sound.

Hugs
Sarabee xxx

[namar82]

Good evening Bunnies

I have to tell you this, as I am feeling a little silly, but at the same time wonder if any of you felt the same.......when I got home yesterday and after I had posted on here, I slowly noticed my mood changing. I actually stropped out big time by the end of the night and then sat and cried. I had such a lovely weekend, I just didn't want it to end. I felt so safe and secure around my fellow bunnies and to be home again, back to reality just made me feel so sad. I sound very childish now, lol.
Well I shall pop back before bed but I must go and find something to eat. I have been at work this afternoon, helping out by doing the payroll and then found out I was required in a meeting with management. I have been in for 45 minutes now and my tummy is rumbling away.

Lots of love and hugs

Nat xxxx

[pesteringpixie]

Hey bunnies
Ooo this is exciting, never been in a hurricane before. Sitting inmmy pyjamas on a huge bed in the most beautiful inn here in kennebunkport watching the new england news channel and feeling very grateful we decided not to risk the drive down to cape cod. The hurrican is due to hit here at 8pm and we have been delared a state of emergency. Kennebunkport is coastal and already the main streets are flooding. Our inn, the captain lord mansion, is on a bit of a hill so we should keep our toes dry. The inn also has its own generator so we are asured there will be breakfast.

Mother has sent me a frantic text. She must be worried as she hardly ever uses her mobile telling me she has seen hurricane on news and she wishes i had gone to lytham st annes. So texted her back to let her know we are safe.

So, over and out from huricane hattie here in Maine.


Xxxxx

[margietee]

Hello again buns. You know, I wish I could recall what I thought everyone would look like before we met because now I can only visualise everyone in reality. But without doubt not one single bunny looked how I had imagined so I am particularly intrigued that both Vanns and Sameelee imagined me as I am!

Pixie, I had tears rolling down my cheeks when I watched the lunch time news today, seeing where the hurricane is due to hit. I was thinking how unfair that it should come just as you and your OH arrive stateside for a much needed, well earned holiday. I was so pleased then to see your quickie post saying you were heading north and hoping to keep ahead of it. You sounded positive about it all and with a sense of adventure that you will have an exciting holiday no matter what. I really hope you do have a brilliant time and, as others have said, keep safe.

love to everyone.

MarGie xxx

[sarabee2012]

Finally back after Bunnyfeste and able to get on the laptop! Here comes my Oscar speech lol!!!

Firstly big thanks to Pixie and Southpool for all the organisation and to all the bunnies who were there on the day. It was so inspiring to meet you all and my apologies to Gaynor and Maggie who I didn't get a proper chat with - you're both first on my dance card next time!!!

To be honest, I didn't have much of an idea of what you all looked like but now I do it's quite obvious who's who!! And getting to go "au natural" with my short hair crop in public for the first time was very liberating!!! The whole event was wonderful and thank you to Amberrose and Namar for being such good team mates on the quiz! The Bunnyoke lived up to the billing too... can you believe that a group of women who haven't met before could make so much racket with the instruments and voices? While wearing bunny ears????

I have to say apologies to the bunnies who stayed over, I went for a nap afterwards and didn't wake up until late so had to miss the meet up in the bar later on. My OH didn't have the heart to wake me!! However, I caught up with most of you at Breakfast and - yes, I got my coat back having left it behind in the event room! Chemo brain indeed. Glad that you found your eyelashes Elaine lol!!!!

Also, a big thank you to my secret bunny gift-er (I know who you are really lol) - the gift and the note were quite enough to take my breath away. I was given a wonderful little bejewelled picture frame with a picture of a pink bunny and a little prem baby. The note almost reduced me to tears and I will be keeping the picture on my dressing table to remind me of the power of the warren and the bunnies that have helped me through this year.

Hilary - thank you for the fan too... sorry the punkawallahs couldn't join us... may be next time lol!!!

For those of you who didn't make it this time, am sure that we'll be doing it again... although Big M and I (hello Big M) will be getting together regularly when we can. And until then there's always the warren to chat in. I can't tell you how much I treasure your friendship and am so glad to be part of this forum thread.

Much love and hugs,
Sarabee xxxx
PS. Sorry if this post sounds a bit formal, can't seem to put in to words how I feel today.
PPS. Met up with some friends in Bham on Sunday and had a lovely cuddle with their new baby before going to call in at my daughter's student digs in Reading later on. A very long Sunday!
PPPS. Pixie - please be careful and hope you have a good time on holiday.

[RachelP]

Wendy, it's difficult to know when it started. It was probably when I started rads,which is when I started doing more after the chemo. My Mum thinks it's from carrying toddler around. To be honest I'm not sure they ever got back to normal after having her! I mentioned it at my check up and now have appointments for a ut and bone scan just to put my mind at ease....hopefully.....

Vanns, I think we all looked very well, apart from our hair! I meant you weren't as stocky as you make out!

[Vanns]

Stay safe pixie,
What do you mean more like a hockey player Rachel? Are you suggesting I don't look like the a woman at the peak of sporting fitness????? Lol
Vanns x
P.s. weird. MarGie looked and sounded exactly as I had imagined too!

[pesteringpixie]

Bridge to. Cape cod closed. Feel like dorothy in wizard of oz. heading up to maine hopefully staying a couple of hours ahead of sandy, gosh exciting eh?

Love you all my lovely bunnies.

Pixie

Xxx

[pepihorse]

Hi RachelIP, How long have you had the hip pain? mine started off in one hip and now in both, been 8 weeks since chemo and one hip been hurting for about 6 weeks and now the other one for a couple of weeks, fed up with it all, just want to feel a bit normal would be nice !
Wendy xx

[RachelP]

Wendy,
Really sorry you weren't up to travelling . I hate to say it but I am kind of glad to hear about your hips. Mine really ache too, and as usual got me thinking the worst.

Pixie, you really don't do anything by half do you? Stay safe xx

I can't believe how exciting and lovely it was to meet all of you. I have never been into Internet forums before but my BCN suggested I have alook on here and I'm really glad she did.

I too expected Hilary to be a blonde hippy. I expected Vanns to look more like hockey player. Gaynor, Ambarose and Lee all look so sophisticated and glamorous with their short crops. Elaine looked like an imposter with her long locks. Big M has got such a lovely voice!

My bunny and friendship heart have found a home in my favourite room, the kitchen, thanks Gaynor xx

[pepihorse]

So sad I missed Bunnyfest, I just felt I couldnt do the journey yet on my own, I still feel a bit of a recluse as still dont feel that strong, and now me hips are killing me, does these side effects ever end?
I am glad you all had a wonderful time, and am very jealous. Maybe I can come to the next one ! Would love to meet you, as youve all been so kind and helpful through this awful journey.
Best wishes everyone ! xxxxx
Wendy xxx

[pesteringpixie]

Well hello bunnies

Here i am in another Hilton hotel, this one at Boston airport. Had a good flight over.

I adored bunnyfeste. It was everything i had hoped and meeting you all, singing as we did and the laughter.... It was such a joy. thank you each and every one of you. We are like snoflakes, each of us beautiful and unique but fragile, but pit us together and we make a hell of a cracking snowball.

I have my bunny necklace on and shall wear it constantly, i love it, the perfect gift for me. And theai ts and brushes are just superb, thank you all so much.
well, it wouldn't be me without a bot of drama would it.... And I have flown straight into one in the shape of hurricane blooming Sandy. It is due to hit the new england coastline tomorrow afternoon, the Cape getting the worse of it. And guess who is travelling down to Cape Cod in the morning? We have the news channel on and 9 states have been put on emergency and evacuations are happening. So in the morning we shall have to ring the Inn we are booked in and be guided by them. I certainly don't intemd being holed up in an airport hotel for days.

Shall keep you posted as and when i can het internet access.

So much love to you all as ever

Pixie xxx

[Sameelee3]

Hi Christine, and any other Bunnies who couldn't be there- we know you were there in spirit, and we will certainly meet up again!
xxx

[Sameelee3]

Hello Everyone,
You have managed to say everything I wanted to say, between you all; it was indeed a crazy day in so many ways, beginning with coffee at Birmingham New Street with Ambarose. We clocked the crops and said the password in a low deep whisper, spy fashion. A career in MI5 is clearly a future option. Sara12 met us after a few discreet text messages, and on we came, to be met by so many warm hugs in the foyer of the hotel. I just loved seeing how different everyone was from how I had imagined them... just like when you see Shula from The Archers on R4 who sounds like she is 25, but looks about 60. Not that I am suggesting that you all looked older than I imagined, just different! Campo, in my head was a 6ft kaftan-wearing hippie with blonde hair and a deep suntan. And there stood Hilary who is diminutive, fair-skinned, dark-haired and younger than I imagined. ( thank you so much for the fan!). Somehow, magically, Margie looks exactly as she did in my head! Big M is in fact small M , but with a lovely voice (scalp massage is good for the follicles- I do this a lot, sometimes in company. )
Loved the way we gave a round of applause to latecomers! ( especially those who lived so close to the venue, GMT!) And I also loved the way that we had lots in common other than bc. Such a relief, and it was a pleasure to be in your company. Thank you for the laughter. Thank-you to Rachel's toddler for the loan of the percussion. Thank you to someone for the notebooks and the bunny ring-holder now on my dressing-table.
Sorry for being so crap at the quiz. Bunny references not my forte. Ask me a question on side effects of chemo.....
Many thanks to Pixie and Southpool of course, for being so well organised and thoughtful, and who would have believed how well the day could map out? I reckon I talked for at least 10 hours non stop.
Am a bit tired now, I have to say; the train carriage was like a vacuum -sealed sauna for some reason. it was as if they were trying to asphyxiate us all in order to have to carry fewer passsengers, so I staggered off gasping for air and will need to book a flu jab tomorrow as I dread to think what I breathed in.
Will love you and leave you now, thank-you all again for such a memorable day.
Sameelee
x

[chrisp1e]

Glad that you all enjoyed bunnyfest. Your posts have made me feel that I really missed out. Hope we manage to have another one some time.
Regards to all.
Christine xxx

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

Am sitting here drinking fruit tea out of my lovely bunny mug (many thanks to whoever bought it) with a big daft grin on my face. It was so wonderful to spend the weekend with such a fabulous bunch of women I loved every moment of it. I am trying to explain to OH how fabulous it was and words just don't do it justice.

Pixie you are a genius for bringing us together & organising such a wonderful day. I called in to visit my Mum in hospital today & showed her my bunny bag & she thought it was so lovely she has adopted it and it is now hanging up by her bedside watching over her. I hope you are having a great holiday & the flight went smoothly.

Campo, my fan is now a permanent fixture in my handbag & suspect it will be put to good use on the 7.50 from Liverpool to Manchester in the morning. Every tamoxifen girl should have a punkawallah fan!!

Libby I am so glad you found your eyelashes without having to resort to asking at lost property. My simple mind has completely forgotten the name of the magic stuff you put in your juice so can you remind me.

And Vanns I have definitely been groomed, but in the best possible way.

A big wave to Big M.

Love & virtual hugs to you all.
Southpool ( because it feels wrong to be called my real name with you
ladies) xxx

[namar82]

To my dear bunnies

I am still going to go back and read the posts that I haven't caught up on yet, but I just had to post after yesterdays bunnyfest. It was so lovely to meet all those that could make it and put your faces to your names.
Pixie and Southpool thank you very much for arranging such a wonderful afternoon. It will definitely be one that I will remember for a while. I am still buzzing (oh dear, buzzing bunny, my hubby has just read this and burst out laughing.....wonder what is on his mind?) even now, and find myself laughing out aloud, what on earth did we sound like from the outside whilst participating in bunnyoke?
Thank you Campo for the fan and I to hope that the spa comes to life, I'm definitely in the queue with Libby. I also love my pressie so a big thank you to whoever provided me with my bunny mug, calendar and brooch.
Pixie, enjoy your holiday and please slow down and relax.
Love to you all my lovely ladies
Speak to you all soon
Nat xxx

[libby12]

Also echoing others. I had a great time with such amazing funny ladies , thank you all for such a wonderful day, and Pixie for organising everything. I found my false eyelashes on checking out,, they were stuck to the bottom of my purse when I went to pay for my drinks last night, the chap behind the desk must have thought I was a nutter, as I stood there trying to seperate them and put them back in the box. Hilary thank you for my lovely fan and sorry again for calling you Wendy all the time , I really hope that your idea for a spa becomes a reality.I will be first in the line to book a place., and a big thank you to whoever bought my fab bunny pressi they will have pride of place in my kitchen. Just going to have a hot bath and then an early night, have to be up early for physio in the morning. Love to everyone ElaineXXXX

Forgot to thank Southpool for helping to organise Feste, and another wave to Big Mxxx

[margietee]

Hi bunnies

Echoing others, what an amazing and EMPOWERING bunch of ladies you all are. I'm sure that counts for others that weren't there too. It has been the most incredible time at bunnyfeste and my mind (simple mind) is still reeling with it all. I still wonder what all the other people at breakfast must have thought about this mad bunch of near bald women plus Libby sitting at a table for four, laughing and chatting at tops of voices about bc, mx, mets etc etc .... And as was said this morning, hopefully they will have thought what a positive group of women enjoying life despite what they have been through.

thanks so much to Pixie for all her organisation and to southpool fort assisting in it, and to everyone for making it such a great experience. I hugTuscans (eh? That is supposed to read Huge thanks ...). Try again.... Huge thanks to campo for the fans in place of punkawallahs And thanks to whoever contributed my secret pressie of bunny/Dalmatian puppy mugs and bunny on a heart.

i keep thinking of Pix and her OH on their plane together and hope they are having a good flight and that they have a brilliant holiday. Much deserved.

Vanns, I think we've definitely all been well and truly groomed ....

back soon. Love to everyone.

margiexxxx

[Vanns]

Dear bunnies,
Is it me or has the thread come to life now that we know what we all look like? It's amazing how different and real evernobody is now. ( except that I can only think of everyone in bunny ears lol) it got me thinking the following.
I often hear myself warning the kids at school about the dangers of social networks and I provide them with the following rules.
Never give out your name
Never give your telephone number or email address
Definately do not tell other users personal information or personal details (breasts, sex and poo count as personal!)
Never ever give out your bank details ( SOUTHPOOL )
Never ever send money to other users
And by far the mostimportant, never agree to meet strangers without the company of someone you know.
It seems to me that I did all of the above and loved every minute of it.
I wonder if that means I have been groomed ?????
Vannsx

[Vanns]

Sorry forgot to give you a wave big M. !!!!

[Big_M]

Just want to add my two pennyworth - same messages as everyone else really. Lovely to meet you all and putting faces to names will make the posts come alive so much more in the future. And again,thanks to Pixie and Southpool for organisation.
Had a good journey home then got straight back in the car to take son to basketball match, followed immediately by visiting the old lady I go to on behalf of Age Concern. I visit her every Sunday afternoon and did not want to let her down today. Like a lot of very old people (she is 92) she is only really interested in herself so it is quite hard to keep the conversation going. She is happy to tell me what she had for lunch when I ask, or tell me about her aches and pains, but if I tell her anything about what I have been doing she glazes over unless she can relate it back to herself. I did not mention Bunnyfeste because I reckoned she would not be able to find a link back to herself related to dressing up in bunny ears, parading around with shaved heads and singing and dancing accompanied by makeshift percussion creations!

So now it's nearly 4pm, nearly dark, and I am sitting down with a cup of tea. I wonder what you are all doing? We'll sleep well tonight.

And thanks for the Peter Rabbit with a wheelbarrow - quite delightful. If it's not against the rules, maybe the purchaser would send me a personal message to let me know!
Lots of love

Mary xx

[sara12]

What a great bunch of women! Lovely meeting everyone - just like meeting old friends, rather than strangers. Pleased to have the faces to put to the names.

Very tired when I got home despite not having a particularly late night - even fell asleep on the train. Had no idea just how busy the train would be on a Sunday morning - just managed to get a seat. As it's dark and raining now, I shall be putting my feet up with the Sunday papers and a cuppa - won't be surprised if I doze off again.

Back to rads tomorrow - only six more sessions to go though.

Many thanks to Pixie and Southpool for all the organising. Really hope Pixie does some relaxing on her holiday - but I suspect that's not going to happen!

Sara x

[ambarose]

Another thank you to Southpool for joint organising with Pixie of money, buunyoake etc. It was great and loved the singing.
XX

[ambarose]

It was such a pleasure and fun to meet you all yesterday. Superb organisation by our wonderful Pixie who is now hopefully all chacked in for plane to Maine.
Yous are all so positive and it proved that the power of belonging to a group can help us all get through it together.
I loved my presents- the fan and the bunny tin and mug and wind up bunny so Thank you to Campo and to whoever put my pressie together. We have been having competitions to see who can make the jumping bunny turn the most somersaults and land on its feet. So far 3 is the number and Oh and i are level!!.
Love and hugs to all especially those who did not manage to attend- we thought about you and sent many good wishes.
Sarah