Pixie I am still around, been reading posts but not really been able to contribute much, feeling a little strange at the moment. I have been thinking of you all though, especially you Vanns, hope all went ok today.
Going to put my head down now but will post again tomorrow when more awake.
Pixie, I'm here, all present and correct. Whiskers and paws clean and tidy. Bunny tail fluffed up! Seriously, I don't know where the time has flown to since I last posted a week ago But Never does a day go past though without me thinking lots about my lovely furry friends. Speaking of which, I now have angora cheeks - which bunny was commenting on that before? Still with Pixie, I'm so pleased you enjoyed your hols and also that Mrs Mojo made a timely appearance. Pleased too that you didn't mind me looking where yo were staying. I LOVE google when it's being used for interesting things, not bc related of course. Hope your over-busy week is going ok.
Vanns, I've been sending you good vibes all day today. Hope your onc appointment told you what you wanted to hear. Christine, hope you're not feeling so low now. Really interesting to read about the Macmillan course Libby. let us know how it progresses. Libby, I've also got pains shooting through my boob. I'm sure it's the rads still working away. Are you still blue around your nipple? I am. 17 days on from finishing rads I'm still pink, except under the boob which has gone brown. Never been tanned there before!!! A week after rads I developed a burn mark up towards my collarbone, about 2 inches by 1 inch. It's faded a lot now but doesn't it just bring it home to you how aggressive the treatment is.
Campo you had me in hysterics with your story about the naughty scruffy dog and your love-starved female dog (can't use the b word as it'll be censored even though its use here would be totally correct!) pleased the in laws are settling. Just need to get you sorted now with a uk house. Southpool, you will look absolutely and utterly gorgeous in your shocking pink dress. I'd love to be able to see you in it. Next bunnyfeste perhaps?
Good on those of you getting back to work. I am so pleased that is all history for me. I really feel for those who have to go back but really just don't have the energy or the desire for it. Lee, definitely get that jewellery business up and running! Sarabee get that doggy business sorted. Pixie get your life coaching going.
Sending lots of love and good thoughts to everyone. Ooh, pixie, meant to say I will definitely be up for a bunny calendar. Great idea.
Thanks for good wishes everyone. Just can't seem to get out of this at all. Everything is such a struggle. I was commenced on Exemestane (Aromasin) recently and I read on another thread that some ladies felt the way I do and had to come off it. I'm going to phone my BCN tomorrow to ask advice.
Regards to all.
Campo: I live in a Forest Gate, just next to Stratford. Now the parents are settling in, i hope,you can breathe a bit before you have to travel again.
SMC78: could you ask your BCN about counselling services local to you, or contact McMillan? There'd be the first place. If there a Breast Cancer haven near you you could get 10 hours free counselling, or you could chose from other one-to-one service they offer.
Sameelee: whinge all you like! That's the whole point of us being here. For what it's worth, I'd say carry on with the teaching and that inspiration for a new direction will come. Even with the waning enthusiasm, it's one constant thing in your life right now. Hope it works out.
sarabee2012- I wonder if antihistamines would help the deep itching? Even though it isn't caused by allergy, it sometimes does the trick. One of my clinic nurses advised me to use Savlon on the scar. I never got round to buying it but if I remember, I'll check if it's any good for superficial itching
RachelP: its great that you're getting back to coping with your little one, it must feel like a personal triumph
sara12 congratulations on finishing the radiotherapy. (Am I the only one who hasn't even started yet?! As for getting on with things, take your time and do little tasks often. Something I learned when I was signed off work for stress and anxiety was to do one small task as day. Even if that task is cleaning one corner of a room. If you can manage another task afterwards, do it. If you can't, then you stop there.
chrisp1e: Big hugs, don't be too hard on yourself.
ambarose. You're so right about having things to look forward to. Whether they are big or small things. It's great that your manager is on your side. A supportive work environment really makes a difference when you're trying to get back to 'normal'. I wouldn't have been able to work through chemo without having a supportive manager. Now that my department is being re-structured i have no idea how I'll cope when I go back.
pesteringpixie: if your energy levels are back up go for it! Just be careful you don't get run-dowm so that you stay myxi-free 🙂
After my travel panic everything went really well. I was especially grateful that they could change my ticket as couple queuing next to me weren't so lucky. They ended up going home after they missed their train to Paris
The premier ticket was worth it, carriage was half empty so I got to spread out, relax and have breakfast.
The hotel is beautiful: L'Hermitage Gantois is a converted infirmary and still has lots of its old features, with modern amenities too. They have piano bar in the evening, which means I stay in during the evening and relax with a glass of wine.
The only things I'm missing is tasting local cuisine. My tastes are still weird and I don't want to waste money on things I might not like. So maybe next time
My energy is almost normal. Lille has turned out to be 'just right': small enough to walk around but with public transport anyway. The metro runs so smoothly it doesn't jar my back.
My Lille tourist pass includes an unlimited regional train ticket. So I'm off to Dunkirk for the day. I'm typing this as I wait for my train.
I've switched in the roaming, so I'll catch up with everyone in due course!
I am a very happy bunny tonight because I have finished rads. It has left me absolutely exhausted, the tiredness is much worse than I thought it would be. Today I have been for acupuncture for fatigue & hot flushes so I will let you know how it goes. Got a full hard day at work tomorrow & off to see the Killers on Friday night so will be like a damp dish rag again on Saturday.
Vanns good luck seeing your onc, it is so horrible not being able to trust your body anymore, so it is best to get checked out. My poor bcn gets a weekly call from me with one worry or another, she is very patient.
Pixie reading your schedule exhausted me! Please make sure to take some time out to chill or all the good work of your ho,iday will unravel.
Jill well done on the job offers, hope the right thing comes along soon, but it must be nice spending time with your toddler.
Can't read back so sorry for missing lots of people out. Hopping off to catch up on ITT, as my strictly obsession is is full flow again!
Welcome back Pixie! Hope you're refreshed and over the jet lag. Sounds like you have a busy week ahead!
Hilary - brilliant news about the in-laws, you might have a new career there! Hope they settle in well.
Lee - if you need any help with setting up a website or publicising your jewellery business, let me know. I'm not a professional business coach but having set my own business up I might be able to help. Try and get to some of the local markets for stalls too, a friend of mine has set up a doggie bakery (gourmet dog treats) this year and has had a lot of success. I'm sure you'll be brilliant. And I love a nice bit of jewellery myself!
Christine and Vanns - big hugs to you two today just because you're fantastic!
Big M - will be DMing you to meet up again soon. Have been busy having coffee with friends recently as I feel like I'm back in the land of the living and before I go back to work!
Jill - you do have lovely cheekbones! Am sure that you're looking fab!
Went out today again without the wig and no one stared or made me feel odd. Had to wear a hat though as it was chilly but feeling very good and positive. Off to see the GP tomorrow to be signed back to work for phased return - not looking forward to getting up early again but hey, needs must.
Hugs to all including the ones I've not mentioned!
Just a quickie to say thanks for all your wonderful support and good vibes. I know its nothing to worryabout but just as that article says I have very little faith in my body or my ability to work out when it's ill. Anyway I'm sending love and hugs to all those feeling low and don't worry as in the blink of an eye you will find yourself on a good day.
Stay positive girls!!!!
Welcome home pix xxxx
Evening bunnies... though with my body clock and the jet lag its lunch-time.
Back home again after a fairly good journey - managed the ugrade, took a sleeping tablet and had to be woke up as we approached heathrow. Bit miffed as i missed fancy meal and didn't watch any of the movies but knew sleeping was the best thing for me.
Oh didn't sleep and he is now in bed and i am once again 'wired'.
Christine, now i am home, shall be sending a little parcel for you tomorrow, something rom me ad something from Hilary in there.. to let you know you were with the mad rabbits in our hearts.
Rachel - well done on job offers - great news.
Sameelee - er, what about the jewellry business? Come on bunny, get that little website built, get to a few xmas fairs, take commissions, do talks and demos with the W.I., believe it will happen and it will 🙂
Sara12, well done on finishing rads. I too am a voracious reader but during chemo found my eyesight wasn't good so got into audio books. Ended up feeling rather virtuous as all those classics i have been intending to read for the last 30 years, I have now listened to! many of the classics cost just a couple of pounds in the apple store.
Wel Hlary, shall expect you to be signed up as new presenter on Home or Away! Or perhaps open your own vesion of the exotic marigold hotel.... for bc recuperation.. now thats a though!
Southpool, VW and fushia are so you..... will look stunning with the platinum crop:)
Well back home and life goes mad again from tomorrow... let me bore you:
Tomorrow morning is heceptin
Tomorrow afternoon is onc appointment
Thursday i am teaching all morning (presentation skills)
Friday I am teaching all morning ( Effective negotiation)
Saturday I have an 11am MRI for me iffy shoulder
Saturday pm lunch with friends
Sunday Sons coming for lunch
Monday Teaching all morning (situational leadership)
Tuesday teaching all morning ( presentation skiils)
Wednesday in hospital for MUGA heart scan
Thursday root canal filling
Friday teaching all morning ( Understanding ethical management)
Friday afternoon physiotherapy
Somewhere I have to fit in prep and marking, making up 100's of Happy bags, and goodness knows what else! Shall be ready for another holiday 🙂
The McMillan stuff sounds great Elaine, isn't it lovely how we are able to inspire others abut our bunnyfeste exploits. OH said when he came in to take pics he felt intimidated and overwhelmed at the same time.... and so he should! now home shall play on photo shop and make us all look like supermodels!! Shall send you real pic but then am going to play... have an idea for a calendar for us all. Each month will be a different bunnyfeste pic and a funny caption. Have lots of fancy software to make something look good. Woud you all consider a £5 donation direct to Cancer Research for a Bunnyfeste calendar?
If I had though of it earlier we could have really done some set pieces... but with all the pics been taken, am sure I can get 12 good ones for a calendar.
Ambarose, glad work are being kind.... the emotional fall-out is harder than the physical stuff and we only really experience it when all the physical stuff draws to a close. I shall probably crash this time next year as I am still in full flow with treatment and trying to sort portcath botch up out.
Vanns, lots of luck, try not to get in the worry rocking chair, it gets you nowhere 🙂
Right, off to find me toothbrush... no, of course i haven't unpacked yet!
Hello Bunnies Looks like the parental units are going to settle . Time will tell but after first afternoon Mum in Law felt she was at home - phew!!!!!!!!!! Shall see how it goes, as the days progress. Very impressed as when we returned this morning they had done quite a lot of unpacking and fairly well organised, still lots to do administation wise but we are getting there. I booked B&B for our first night before they moved into new accommodation. It WAS A DISASTER!, however it did not make them too ill but I will not be allowed to forget my choice! Do not have B&B at The Three Coopers in Bedale not good!
Pixie very impressed Mrs Mojo returned - lucky you! Glad to hear the holiday went so well.
Southpool - we need photo of VW dress and lippy.
Vanns - Glad to hear that you are getting things checked out - I am sure it is normal but you are being very sensible to ensure all is okay
To all those feeling down please come and have a special pamper at the Spa, you know where we are just lie back in the hammocks and hear the sea waves - relax and just feel the warmth on your whiskers.
Hi all just catching up on all the posts, my broadband is causing problems and is driving me mad. Anyhow, Vanns, I am sending you a massive hug and hope that everything gets sorted out on Thursday, I also keep getting pains in my bc boob, but I was told this could happen for a good few months after rads, as its the scar tissue healing inside, but its always best to check everything out, I will be thinking about you. Sara dont worry about the house work, do it a little at a time and one room at a time not the whole house you are only just getting your energy back, so look after yourself. Christine I know that low feeling, felt like that over the weekend, and don't worry we will organise another BF for you to come to. Well I attended the Hope taster session course today,ran by Mcmillan , some of the things we will be looking at are muscle relaxation, unhelpful thinking, setting goals etc, it was quite good. There were sixteen of us, all different ages, men and women, some living with cancer , and others still having treatment, it was good to chat, and they were amazed when I told them of the BF last week, this got them laughing. The next session is next week so I will be going along. Hilary I hope the parents liked the house, you are so organized, but please don't tire yourself out or you will be back to square one. Pixie hope you have got over the jet lag and that the dogs were ok. Also Hi Big M hope your ok. Love to everyone else sorry if I have missed anyone but you know I am thinking of you. Take care Elainexxxx
Hi Everyone, First thing is to say what a wonderful support you all are and to those of us having a bit of a melt down, it does halp to have all our friends be there for us. I did see boss today and have permission to do as much or as little as I feel- there is still a lot to do but at least he is aware that I feel I've been run over with a load of bricks emotionally. The lack of sleep is not good -GMT I hope your holiday helps with that. I have to wait till Christmas to go away but have got a few nice things to look forward to in the next few weeks-meals with friends etc. It is really necessary to have something to look forward to I think as up to this point it was finising each stage of treatment and then???????.
Christine, thinking of you and Sameelee as we are all in a place we have never been before. I suppose we have to learn to live in a different way like i think Pixie says or was it the article or someone else. Anyway love to all the bunnies
Been feeling really down recently. Emotions are all over the place. Off on sick leave again and will probably be off now till I retire next month. Feel like I missed out on so much not getting to BF. Sick of myself.
Hope those who are feeling down will be on the up soon.
Hope those who have been on holiday have a wonderful time and that those who are waiting to go have a relaxing time.
Regards to all.
Well, I finished rads on bonfire night and it went out with a whimper rather than a bang.... I have been having my sessions in the evening because all the schedules had been moved to avoid building work. My last appointment was for 7pm yesterday but at 5pm I got a phone call from my usual radiographer to say that the schedules had moved back to normal and their machine was shutting down at 5pm (they’d obviously forgotten to change my appt time). One machine was working later but I needed to get down there asap to be fitted in. So dashed down there but had to wait an hour and my last session was with people I’ve never seen before. They were quite good about giving advice on aftercare etc but I would have been happier discussing it with my usual team.
Now it feels weird to have officially ceased treatment – I keep thinking I should be celebrating, but somehow don’t feel like it. Apparently will get an appt with oncologist in 6-8 weeks’ time so don’t know whether that will be before or after Christmas.
I admire all of you who are going back to work now.... I’m glad I don’t have to because I can’t seem to concentrate on anything for long. I’m usually a great reader of books – hence all the book groups – plus newspapers etc, but I’m having trouble with that and find myself skipping over stuff instead of getting immersed in it. I’m also thinking I should be making plans for next year but again I can’t get my head round it. My house is a tip and I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the work I need to do to get it sorted. I’d like to get some exercise but I still have no energy and my feet are still hurting, making walking difficult – so all in all I feel kind of stuck. I’m hoping that in a couple of weeks time when the effects of rads wear off, I’ll feel more inclined to move forward. I think I’m pinning my hopes on having the energy to make a fresh start in the new year. Anyway, whinge over! Some similarities with how you are feeling I think, Lee. I’m sure we will get our acts together soon..... sounds like Sarabee is getting there.
Pixie, glad the holiday went well despite lack of leaves and that your mojo put in a long awaited appearance! Southpool, your dress sound fab – I’m sure you’ll look stunning and feel a million dollars too. Rachel, that’s really good news about the job offers – must be a boost to your confidence, whether you are interested in them or not. Vanns, hope your check-up is OK on Thursday. My radiologists told me that the rads disturb things again, just as everything is settling down and knitting back together, so hopefully that’s all it is. Gaynor and Gadget-gal – hope you enjoy your respective holidays and come back relaxed and energised. Hilary – hope all is going well with your in-laws’ move – do they appreciate the hard work you and your OH have put in? Ambarose, hope you’ve cut back a bit on work and are getting more sleep. Elaine, hope the aches and pains are abating.
So, special wave to Big M, and love to everyone else not mentioned.
Sara, thank you for the link. it was amazing to read how I am feeling, and have asked oh to read it too.
Campo, hope the parents and dogs are all okay.
Nat, big big hugs.
Pixie, you can add a hurricane to the list of things you have survived this year.
Sarabee12, still love you for saying I have cheekbones, well done for facing work again
Little M, glad you are feeling better
I have had a really good week. OH has been away with work, and the childminder has been away, so have looked after toddler all by myself and we have had a thoroughly good time. I know it sounds pathetic but I couldn't have imagined looking after both of us for most of this year. I have had a couple of job offers as well. When I read about loss of confdence in the article I realised that is exactly what has happened to me, loss of confidence in my ability and my body. I guess it will take a while to come back...
Lee - we posted at the same time. Am sending you a big hug! Don't feel pressured to think about anything and just take your time. I am still a little anxious about going back to work next week as it seems to be rushing towards me very quickly! We'll get there, bunny, just think how far we've come!
Gaynor - have been having trouble sleeping myself. I toss and turn and have lots of hot flushes so looks like the menopause has started! Have a good holiday!
Vanns - definitely get it checked out. Looking forward to doggie chats too!
For all the bunnies who have mentioned that they still have pain and twinges in their boob/s I can tell you that I have started getting sharp stabbing pains in the bc boob. The reconstructed one is still a teeny bit numb to be honest, only gets a little sore now and again. So the bc boob which had a lot more work on it and the underarm area are still tender after the rads. Plus my scars are a little sore and itchy as they are still healing. In addition, I get this horrible itchy feeling under my nipple on the bc boob which I absolutely hate. I am desperate to scratch without it looking like I'm touching myself up lol!!! When I had my op my surgeon told me that she was going to use some of the muscle from the side/back to make the shape. I've convinced myself that I'm a bit twisted up inside and laying down does sometimes seem a bit uncomfortable. But I am getting there. The good news is that my MIL who had surgery over 30 years ago tells me that "in the cold weather I still get the odd twinge" - so that's something to look forward too.
Gadget-gal - hope your journey was more relaxing.
Hugs to all - hope you get some sunshine where you are today.
I can't believe your holiday seems to have gone so quickly Pixie, but really glad it was a success! Who needs leaves? Vanns, try not to worry too much: it is probably nothing, but best to be sure, so good luck with the onc appointment. Be sure to let us know. Gaynor, have a fab holiday; just a change of environment will work wonders, I bet. Am very envious of your VW dress, Southpool; don't have one in my wardrobe, but do covet them, and fuchsia is such a great, confident colour. I bet you lookamazing in it!
I seem to be on the BC roller coaster emotionally, again. Having been in a good place over weekend, this week I feel a bit low. Am trying to analyse why, and think it might be that lots of us seem to be getting Back to normal, with work etc, but I can't even bring myself to go there in my head yet. Some days I am fine, and loving thefreedom, but on other days feel isolated and a sense of having no purpose. I also miss my son, who is working really hard and being a very busy 20 year old. Have also been listening to Fado music, after my Lisbon trip, and it's beautiful but a tad melancholy.
Maybe it's also age- related; am relatively close to being able to retire, so don't have quite the same enthusiasm for teaching that I once had, but can't afford financially to stop! And three years is a long time in bc world. Think a new direction is called for, but need the energy to go out there and look for it. Dont have a date for my implant surgery yet, either, which is bugging me a bit......
Ok bunnies, I will stop whingeing now: need to do something positive and change the day. Will let you know how it goes!!!!
Love to all, quiet ones included.
This is a super quick post before the train starts and i lose my signal.
I FINALLY made it onto Eurostar! My booked ticket was for an hour ago but chemo brain reared its head and I left my handbag at home, with tickets and money etc.
I was nearly crying because I thought i'd lost the value of ticket. Luckily when i explained, and said id why i needed to go back for my meds, they rebooked me for the next train without any quibble.
So we drove back home, picket up my bag. Instead of driving all the way back through the rush hour London traffic, i got mum to drop me off at Stafford International for the high-speed train. 5 minute journey!
So ticket swapped, fast-track check in and now I can breathe 🙂
Just a Post to say I have moved my ONC apt to this Thursday as I have an almost constant nagging pain/sensation in my cancer breast. It's been sore and tender as if I have a cyst developing. This obviously troubles me as these were the symptoms that took me to the GP in the first place. I'm hoping it's something obvious like the nerves repairing or a hangover from radiotherapy but that was about 6 weeks ago now? Anyway keep your fingers crossed bunnies.
Pixie! Glad you have found your mojo
Southpool, pink vw dress! How fab
Sarabee thanks for you email. I lookforward t,o exchanging ideas.
Hils, hope everything went ok today.
Sitting at logan airport. Boston, waiting to check in for flight home. Bags are masses over allowance so hoping there is space to upgrade. We flew out economy but try to upgrade for homeward leg as find overnight flight a real strain. Also much cheaper to upgrade at airport, but you take a chance on space being available.
Had wonderful holiday, even though we missed the fall, hurricane sandy saw to that.
Arrive back in uk 7am tomorrow so a day to try and rest as Wednesday i have the herceptin in the morning and then 4pm apt with onc. Thursday i have muga heart scan and Saturday is mri scan on shoulder.... What a difference a Week makes.
Have a wonderful holiday Gaynor. I have holidayed in Fuerteventura many times and have always enjoyed good weather. Blooming windy though. Where are you staying?
Managed to get the happy bag total to over £4700 so my target of £5000 by end of year is a cert. those of you who bought them at bunnyfeste, thank you. Xmas sacks available on my website on Wednesday. Just maybe I can do £6000 for end of year? 2 companies i work for are sending them in lieu of xmas cards and i am adding their corporate legend.
Those of you doing good, fantastic. Those of you not so good, well we all know how to hang in there.
Hilarys msn bunny group means we can schedule chats... Sort of like a virtual coffee morning, that could be a fun thing for us.
Have a lovely day, will post when back in Uk.. And found out what the gruesome twosome have been up to!
sorry not posted for a while, having real problems sleeping and it's making me feel very tearful, sorry you're suffering with this too Sarah. . I'm off to fuerteventura on Wednesday, so hoping a bit of sunshine will lift the spirits. Not sure it will be enough to get my mojo back but if its worked for Pixie and Southpool, who knows! Your holiday sounds fab Pixie and the fuchsia pink dress very glam, Southpool.
Sorry I can't remember everyone's posts as I had lots to read, but I hope everyone is ok, those of you working, don't do too much and pace yourselves.
Take care bunnies,
Morning bunnies! Not much to say here except I am now getting back into working mode. I have another week of laying around in my pjs before I need to start getting dressed and I feel a lot more confident about it too.
Am starting to think about Christmas and next year as well, which is something I haven't done before. Daughter coming home from uni so we're going to see the Hollywood costume exhibition at the V&A during the break. Then it's onward and upward with some much needed decorating around the house. OH will be pleased with the list I have for him lol!!!
Pixie - glad you're enjoying your break!
Hilary - how did the visit to the new property go? You're like that woman on Escape to the Country on BBC. I'm sure that your parents will have appreciated your hard work in sorting this out for them. And yes, I'm rolling my RRRRRRssss now... lol!!! Also if you're coming through London, I'm up for a pre-Christmas meet up too. We could even drag Big M up to town as well.
Southpool - go you!!! VW, Chanel... you are the bunny diva!!
Love to all those not mentioned above and have a fabulous week,
I am sitting on the train listening to Dolly Parton having scrapped the ice from my car this morning, winter is here. I still need my fan though 🙂
Campo will be sending mega positive thoughts for 10am, you are very brave choosing a house for in laws. I have suddenly clicked that your kaftan wearing is why other bunnies thought you were a hippy, I was always a bit slow on the uptake!
Pixie won't say told you so about holidays & mojo!! So glad it is back & your Inn sounds blissful. Enjoy the rest of your break x
Ambarose, good on you sorting work out. As Pixie said we are different now & it is hard approaching work in a new way - I'm still working at it but am making progress. Saying no is necessary but hard.
We had a lovely weekend just like pre diagnosis, it felt like things are becoming a new normal. I bought a fabulous fuchsia pink Vivienne Wetwood dress that I would never have worn before. Having one boob & short hair seems to have liberated me. It looked fab, just need the right lipstick now so a trip to Chanel make up is in order.
I also thought the article was really helpful Sarah, glad your OH was up for reading it too! (Thanks to Sara12 for the link.)It sounds like you definitely need to step back from work. We saw Skyfall on Thursday afternoon- great film. I'm not a massive Bond fan, but this was the best of them, for me.
Have spent the day pottering about with some lovely music on in the background and feeling quite grateful at the moment. Not exactly sure why, but being tucked up in the warmth with books, newspapers, gadgets, music and good food ( beef stroganoff) is enough. Just for today.
Hope the Parents are happy with your arrangements, Hilary, and so glad to hear you are on the up, BigM. Good luck with the last of your rads Sally-Anne, and Pixie, your holiday sounds lovely..... might just go back on Trip Advisor later. Love to Nat, hope you are managing to distract yourself this weekend, and Vanns, I hope Cheltenham's shoe-shops delivered as hoped, despite the horrible weather. May all our bones be fortified.
Love to all not mentioned but in my thoughts. Just last week we were coming down from the high of Bunnyfeste!
Well talk about saving the best until last.... New Hampshire is glorious. Completely missed the fall as hurricane Sandy blew all the leaves off. However, we are in Jackson, in the white mountains, a ski resort and today it has started to gently snow.
The Inn we are staying at is perfect. Wood burning stoves including one in our room, very quiet and all patchwork quilts and cosy. Called the Carter Notch Inn if you want to google Margie. love the idea of you googling where I am, makes me feel like you are watching over me. Been hoping to see moose but no luck as yet, wildlife count thus far is one, deer, one chipmunk, two squirrels, a roadkill racoon and an old english sheepdog belonging to the Inn's owners.
Anyway, place is enchanting so just booked to come back first week in feb when the snow will be thick and the ski-ing at its best. How about that for mega-optimism? Can hardly walk up stairs at the moment and intend to be on skis in 3 months. Life really is for living so am getting on and living it...on a pair of skis!
Wonderful that so many of you coming to the end of rads.... Sending you a big cheer.
Hilary, you either deserve a gold medal or a frontal lobotomy. Goodness, what a lot you have taken on finding a new home for the in-laws. Do hope they appreciate all your effort. The idea of re-homing mother and auntie.... Can't even contemplate the horror of it. Pleased to hear the golden floozy has had her floozy-ing curbed.
Well bunnies, last night, mrs mojo made an appearance. Goodness, we were so bashful. Mrs Mojo moved out when chemo moved in so it has been some months so it was all a bit tentative especially as my joints are so achy. However, we are consumate again... Told you New Hampshire was special.
Went in a fantastic eatery last night, a huge cedar barn that was a bar come restaurant with live music. The food was great but the dessert, oh my... I had Jackson blueberry cheescake. It was like no other cheescake i have ever had. The base and sides were a buttery biscuit that was packed with blueberries. The cheescake was quite thick, almost like clotted cream but flavoured of nougat, then over this was poured hot blueberry compote... And a huge scoop of the best ever vanilla ice cream. I moaned with every mouthful..... Think it was the warm up for Mrs Mojo!
Ambarose, pleased to hear you are going to take work more gently, we have to learn what our new pace is. I have worked the whole way through on a reduced basis and have no intention of upping it again. I did do a few weeks back and crashed big time as you all witnessed. It is hard, others say they will not pressure us, will be understanding but then in the next moment, start pushing the boundaries. So i am learning that 'no' is a complete sentence. I am stopping justifying why i won't do so and so. Just before bunnyfeste, one of the companies i work for asked me to do a 2 day course for them in Reading. I said no. They offered me a ridiculous fee but I still had to say no. I know that the preparation involved, the travelling, over-nighting at same hotel as delegates, and the full on pace for 2 days, would have made me unwell for a week. None of us can be as we were before. It doesn't mean we are less than, it just means we are different.
Right better get ready as OH reserved table at restaurant.... Think he hopes Mrs Mojo may want to play again later.....
Loved the link to the article after the treatment finishes-actually it summed me and feelings just right. made Oh read it as I was sitting in floods of tears at breakfast as have been guilty of trying to cope as if nothing has happened at work. Will see boss this week and tell him am taking it down a notch and may go to Dr and ask for something to help me sleep as that is the worst thing.
Loved the video of BF and all the photos. have just shown OH and he thinks we all look great.
Fingers crossed for Monday Hilary and hope parents are ok with it all. Very nervewracking.
Pixie, sounds as if the covered bridges may just start the mojo off. Good Luck! I loved that book and film -cried and cried each time I read it.
We are going to see Skyfall today as the weather is so horrid.
Love to all others
I need a group hug & praying session for Monday please. As parental units will be viewing their new home on Monday about 10am - please put paws together that they like their new home or I am in big rabbit stew (sorry bunnies).
Pleased to hear that you now read my posts in a Scottish Accent - please remember to rrrrrrrroll your Rrrrrrrs.. Yes Southpool I am the Kaftan queen - but only in the morning. I have a lot of Kaftans from India (as I lived there for many years) and a couple of Arabic ones. You will be pleased to hear Scruffy boyfriend has now left the garden as dog in heat is now with dog sittter whilst we are in the UK. Dog in heat is now quite happy as her other boyfriend Barney is there & very interested in her but he has been done! Floozy!
Sarabee12 - Congrats on returning to work and so pleased to hear you are getting lots of support.
Southpool, Amberose and all those finishing rads - Congratulations - it is such a relief to get it over with.
BigM - Don't work too hard - remember to pace yourself!
Libby12 - Hoping your aching joints are easing as I wish all bunnies with aching joints!
Sara12 - Thank you again for the link - it was exactly what we have all been going through and very well written.
1J - Thank you for popping in - a wave to all Diamond Chicks
Gadget Gal - which part of London are you in?, as with all the travelling I am doing just now you never know we might be in London soon eg. passing through London in December.
Pixie hope you are having a wonderful holiday and getting some rest.
To all other bunnies and for those who have been missing for a few days TEABELLY, Crispe1e, give us a wave.
Sorry for lack of posts for the last few days but I have been back at work nearly full time and am totally pooped at the end of each day.
I am so sorry that lots of you are feeling down. Please accept a big hug and a wave from me, with sincere wishes that tomorrow will be better. For some reason (and I am so grateful) I have felt mentally really well the last few days. Physically, the balance problem finally went away on Thursday and now the remaining probs are just the tiredness and almost constant pain in my reconstructed breast.
On that subject, I see that several of the gang are starting to think about reconstruction. I had mine done (the muscle from the back one) at the same time as the mastectomy, so I have had a new boob since March. Rather than droning on at length on the forum, if anyone wants any questions answered, maytbe send me a private note.
Sara thaks for the link
Other Sara - I will be in touch about meeting again. Great that others are planning to do that soon.
Margie - Congrats on Zumba!! I am an ex-zumba lover but it feels some way off yet.
Libby - I had bacon for breakfast. Never touch sausages!
Gadget Gal - thanks for John Lewis and M&S info
Pixie I hope America is fantastic despite your wet paws.
Pixie - thought about dog sitting but not got enough room! Your dogs will be fine in kennels so don't feel guilty. Meant to say I want to do a Dr Bach's course myself and you're right they do work on dogs just as well. Rescue Remedy helped my Bichon get over her anxiety when we first got her. Hilary been laughing at your flirty dog story lol!
Hugs to all
Can't wait to see piccies, my email server thinhks somebody had pinched me ipad as i am trying to access with a different isp. And it will only give me access by sending me a text message to my phone.... And i can't suss out if i use 00 44 pr whatever usa and maine is so shall wait until i get back to uk.
Hilary, i have been roaring with laughter at Your post, make you wonder how you ever fitted cancer in to your life. 2 of our dogs afe the result of scruffy boyfriends. Tily is a jack russell collie cross and bertie is a cairn scruffy boyfriend cross... So get a chstity belt on the floozy until you cam get her done.
Today i was in a lovely gift shop in a place called Perkins cove and came across a series of little books called the Elf series. i bought a Few of them. One is called 'Elf-help for coping with cancer'. It has 38 pictures and a daily meditation.. Thought I would share them with you as elves and pixies are close cousins, think of the pixies as the pedigrees and the elves as the scruffy boyfriends.
So our first meditation is as follws:
'Cancer brings many changes: not only to your health, but also how you feel, how you look, your expectations, your relationships. Life will not be the same. But change presents opportunities to grow.'
This thing with nicknames or real names, i am in a quandry, some bunnies I find it easier to use real names, such as Sally-Anne and Natalie, Hilary and now Maggie.... But others are still your nickname... Vanns, Sarabee, Rachel..... Then others are a mix... So please bear with me if I get confusing.
Holiday is okY. When we booked this, we expected that 2 months clear of rads i would be back to normal. Wrong. I am very tired and so creaky and achy... Elaine, i am only on herceptin at the moment and my jints are awful... So finding this, a touring holiday, a bit hard work. However, saying that, Maine is absolutely glorious, so pretty and the houses here in kennebunkport are the stuff of dreams. Tomorrow we drive into New Hampshire to a place called Jackson which is in the white mountains and the snow has fallen already. The area is famous for its covered bridges ans where the film The Bridges of Madison County was made. So oh cam be Clint and I shall be Meryl. Not sure if we will manage the bath tub scene though..
Missing our dogs dreadfully..... Sarabee, you ever considered holidaying dogs? Not kennels, but having the dogs live with you whilst owners are away? Hoping our 2 recues are coping with being in kennels, Tilly is still very timid amd at 4am most. Ornings we both go on a guilt trip...
Ly-Anne your night out sounds fab..... Go for the Margie Smith look....
Waving to Mary, hugs to Nat, and love and smiles to the rest of you.
Am going to try and access email now as cannot wait to see photos and its been great to read the posts again. Broadband seems to be really slow here in wilds of Oxfordshire today but will try. nat-hope you are oK and sending hugs to you. Southpool, I have one Rads left and cannot wait to finish, hopefully Monday as am feeling really tired with the hospital visits. will miss all my waiting room friends though who have sat with me through the interminable delays we seem to have had till today when all was on time -I could not believe the difference it made to be released into the daylight!!.
Pixie-glad the holiday is going well now and you deserve th luxury and the shopping live it up chief bunny!!
To everyone else lots of love
Campo I am hearing your posts in a Scottish accent now and have just laughed loudly at the dog on heat story & you were wearing a kaftan! You really sound like you have had a mad week since Bunnyfeste, make sure you get yourself to the spa & chill out.
Sara12 that article is brilliant thank you for posting, OH is going to read it as well. Did anyone see the article on acupuncture & fatigue after breast cancer treatment? My friend & OH boss texted to us today, obviously the fact I am randomly exhausted is sinking in with some people! I am definitely going to give acupuncture a try now.
Sarabee I am so glad it went well at work. Going sans wig was a really good idea, I am convinced it reminds people in my office that I have had treatment & am still recovering.
Well day 17 of rads now complete, only 3 left to go. Has anyone been to something called floor clinic, as I have one of these on Tuesday & forgot to ask what it was. My chest & collarbone are very warm & pink now, particularly on the bony bits but no peeling yet. I will be so glad when Wednesday is over with and I don't have to go to that hospital again.
Yesterday we arranged our first big girls night out since I was diagnosed in March. So on 22nd November we are off for cocktails at a swanky bar & then a meal at a lovely restaurant, so it is an opportunity to get glammed up & show off my new hair. I'm off shopping for a new dress tomorrow in anticipation of a great night out.
Have just read the article - very powerful and put into words everything we have been through. I am an onward and upwards Bunny though.
Story of today. Just now dog is in heat, scruffy wild boyfriend on site, gate left open, dog in heat chases after scruffy boyfriend with me in hot pursuit wearing kaftan and jacket running down the road calling on dog in heat only to see furry butts disappearing into the distance. Luckily dog in heat returns to area with scruffy boyfriend and after panic phone call to OH managed to recapture dog in heat. Dog in heat now under house arrest whilst scruffy boyfriend is lurking in our garden as unable to stop him getting in (is carrying rope & clampons to scale wall). I have been ill all day with the stress, what between returning parental units back to the UK, finding a house for self and now dog in heat I am ready to scream!!!!!!!!!!! Dog in heat booked in for op in a week's time.
Afternoon bunnies! OMG am loving the photos - although am not sure what I was doing during the singing!
Nat - another big hug to you from me... xxx
Vanns - two things firstly I have been having similar sorts of meltdowns and felt very nervous about everything until I got to Bunnyfeste. Whilst I felt a bit blue afterwards, I seem to have picked up a bit and the article posted was exactly right. Will be letting my OH read it as well!
The other thing is we didn't get a chance to have a doggie chat (steady bunnies!!) during BF but definitely I would love to sit down and talk dog training with you. I have one or two ideas that I want to put in place for next year and I don't see why we couldn't do something up in Brummie too!! I feel a skype chat coming on... lol!!!
Finally, today was the day I walked back into my office for the first time since April. I decided to go in without my wig and it felt fantastic to be free of the "hair hat" so looks like that might be going off to the charity soon! Everyone was really pleased to see me and I got lots of hugs! I had a long chat with one of the bosses and we talked about me coming back on a phased return once my GP has signed me back to work. To be honest, the boss was lovely and really seemed pleased to see me. He said that it would be good to have me back and that he wants me to take it easy to start with and see how we go. I must say I was surprised at how well it went - seems I can do this on my own terms and with no pressure from above. I did wonder if I had the wrong office lol!!! So, looks like I'll be back at work in the next couple of weeks. Life is going to be more normal than ever I think lol!!!
Much love bunns and have a great weekend,
PS. Yes, I now read Campo's posts in a Scottish accent!
PPS. Hello everyone out there - giving you all a wave of my ears!
PPPS. Pixie - hope you're getting to relax a bit now!
Hi all , firstly Nat, sending you a massive hug and lots of love, sorry its a bit late but just catching up, take care. Campo thank you for the email addresses, but cannot find pics, I will take another look in my inbox a bit later. Pixie glad to know you are ok and are having a good time, although sorry about the mojo!!!, I feel so sorry for all those people who have lost their homes, it must be devistating for them. Anyway I have now developed sore joints and my legs ache all the time, I am only on Herceptin and nothing else, I saw doc this morning as I had to have blood pressure and routine blood tests, but he said he had never heard of Herceptin causing joint pain. Have googled a few sites ( I know) and it seems alot of women do have joint pain with Herceptin, Pixie I know you are suffering with this, do you think its the Herceptin, or the other hormone treatment you are on,it just seems one thing after the other. Sara please could you send pictures to me, that would be lovely, I have forgotten names already. Check back later, love to all Elainexxxx
Good to have you pop in Lynn. When I first read the article posted by Maryland in another thread, I didn't want anyone in this thread to miss it, so reposted the link here. It is a long article, but I've saved it so that I can refer back to it when I need to. According to Maryland, the person who gave it to her had also printed off copies and given them to the staff at her hospital clinic to read, and they had found it really useful to help understand their patients.
Hope you are doing well and not suffering too many SEs.
Hi from, Diamond chicks,
I still read your thread from time to time and am always impressed with the way you have bonded. And of course for the way you make me laugh.
This time I wanted to visit and say thank you for the article by Dr. Peter Harvey. I have read other articles on a similar vein but this one really hits the spot for me. Have been crying at some parts because it so exactly explains how I feel. Had to give up reading it at the moment but have printed it off to finish later and to try to get my husband to read. Thank you again.
Best wishes to all of you who are putting your lives back together, and special wishes for the ones who are still suffering from SE's.
Hugs Lynn xx
Glad you found it useful Vanns. I did think it would be really good to give to any friends/family who want to support us but are finding it difficult to understand how we feel. It really is OK to feel rubbish sometimes - don't beat yourself up about it, will you?
BTW Margie, I have no idea why I had such a comical expression on my face while you were 'fiddling with your ears'! I have no memory of it and think I must have been caught in mid-chew (memo to self, never eat while there's a photographer about). I don't think there's anything you could do that would naturally produce such an aghast expression! Funny though.
As we've been talking about feeling down at the moment, thought I'd include this link to an article by Dr Peter Harvey, (recommended by Maryland in another thread) about feelings at the end of treatment.
Have had a very low day, burst into tears 3 times and have been a complete witch to my OH. Not sure why but I still feel so fragile. I also have annoyingly painful feet and strange sensation/throbbing/pain in my cancer boob?
I hear what you are saying, it's not all about me but I'm just feeling rubbish today.
Anyway quick wave to big m ( now renamed little m) Nd love and hugs to everyone else. I have really enjoyed the photos.
P.s. is it just me or does anyone else read Hilary's posts in a Scottish accent now?
Two quickies: Gaynor, I reckon I'm on the celecoxib placebo .... mine are also capsules, but they are sealed so you can't pull them apart. I snipped the end off one and a load of cornflour type stuff flew out. I tasted a bit and it tastes of nothing, just cornflour texture. What does the stuff look like in yours? Perhaps we should send each other one in the post so we can compare .... if you think that's a good idea then send me a pm with your address and I'll do the same. Whether it's the placebo or the real thing there is still the huge benefit of 3 monthly checkups with the onc team which wouldn't otherwise be forthcoming |(for me at least).
Zumba: I'm suffering today. Not sure if it is because of the zumba yesterday but my feet are killing me. Particularly my right foot which feels as if the first toe, next to the big toe, is broken or very badly bruised, which it's not. When I first started with palmar plantar syndrome I had a similar sensation in the same toe of my left foot which lasted about a week. I don't want to think it's the zumba that's caused it this time. It certainly wasn't the cause previously. When I did zumba about a fortnight ago, I felt the action on my feet sort of spread out the stone-like sensation you get with pp syndrome, so I have been feeling as if I have one large pebble in my sole rather than lots of smaller ones. I'd got used to that and was managing to walk reasonably well but now I am back to limping. I refuse to let the pp syndrome deter me from my determination to get back to being fit. I used to have palmar faciitis a few years ago and am sure that my gym work helped clear it up, hence now trying to ignore the pp syndrome and get on with the gym .... zumba was such an integral part of my life before bc .... I was back in the gym on Tuesday as well ....
And now there's a third thing to mention ... I've just been talking to the BCC helpline to ask about immune system post chemo .... we are planning to go and see my middle son and youngest grandson on Sunday (dil is away on business.) Grandson had chicken pox a couple of weeks ago and is now back at nursery, but my son - who had chicken pox really really badly when he was two - went down with it on Saturday. He phoned NHS Direct who said you can get it twice if your immune system is compromised. His was compromised because, while my grandson was infectious, my son got tonsillitis. This meant his immune system was compromised and so he succumbed to chicken pox ....Are you following this????!!!! So, my Q to the helpline was to try and establish how long the immune system stays compromised after chemo and if rads compromise it too. Of course, there is no clear answer. I didn't expect one. But I did establish that rads don't really compromise immunity and as I am feeling generally reasonably well now, albeit still lacking in usual energy levels, my immunity is probably ok. Bottom line is that we'll check how my son is on Saturday and if he has had any new spots from around now until then we will have to call off our visit.
Sorry, this post seems to be all about me, me, me. Campo, I'm pleased you are back OK but it all sounds very hectic for you. Hope you manage a quick nip into the spa during all the upheaval. Looking forward to getting photos ... Sara12, I'll pm my email address to you so look out for it. I'll be able to tell you who's who. I took lots of snaps on my mobile but they aren't very good, but if anyone wants some send me your email. There's a good one of Vanns who was obviously the most photogenic of us all!!!
Pixie, I googled Captain Lord when you first said that's where you are - looks fantastic. I saw all the gorgeous bedrooms so will now google again and look for your room. Great you are able to keep in touch while away.
Good luck to everyone just finishing rads. Good luck to those talking reconstruction with their surgeons - DIEPS and whatever - they sound fearsome (spelling? should it be fiercesome? sounds as if both would be appropriate) - but well worth doing if it is appropriate and right for you. My biggest concern when I had my lumpectomy was that the surgeon conserved my nipple - last thing I said to him before going to sleep and first thing I asked when I woke up!! Luckily he did.
Must go now and shower and get dressed. After all, it is heading towards midday!
Love and hugs to everyone, especially Nat this weekend. xxxx
It is 6am this morning and at last I am able to quickly post before having to get another busy day started. First big wave & hugs to all Bunnies as not able to mention each one this time round. Except for Nat - take care bunny huge big hug for you on this anniversary.
First ditto everybody has said about the Bunnyfeste such a wonderful and inspiring get together. It was the strangest feeling to meet women who although we did not know what we looked like, we were already very close as very good friends and sisters. I feel very privileged to be part of a very special group of women, even though that sounds macabre. Ditto meeting again!!!!
Apologies for not meeting up in the evening, had an early evening meal, early to bed, early breakfast and then headed down to Cirencester before heading for Bristol on Sunday. Like Cirencester a lot however, the houses were a disaster so still looking. In Bristol met OHs son & his wife, met them again on Monday morning for breaky, back to Cirencester to view more houses and meet friends for lunch. Back to Birmingham for the evening before getting very early morning flight back to Spain. Picked dog up, dropped cases off at house and then down to OHs parents to help them finish packing. Movers arrived yesterday morning to pack their house up, got the parents settled into temporary accommodation. Also had appointment with Plastic Surgeon yesterday afternoon. Next appointment next June to discuss possible reconstruction ie. making good boob smaller to match affected boob - I don't think so!!!!! Felt very low after appointment as it reminded me of everything I have gone through - as all of you have. However, once back home and made sure parents were warm, made them dinner (meals on wheels) soon forgot the blues - don't have time for them just now!
All heading back to the UK on Sunday for a week to settle the parents into their new home. Hopefully will have time in the evening to catch up with you Bunnies.
So Huge hugs again & BIG Kisses to you all. Shall check in later.
Love you all!!!!
This afternoon - I shall pm everyone with all the email addresses. I will also send the photographs by email to each of you.
Did a day at Feeport Maine and have shopped until oh dropped. We flew premium as knew i would need the baggage allowance and it enabled us to justify having a splurge today. Now laid on biggest bed ever, it has steps to climb into it. Room has gorgeous open fire and it really is like something out of a film set. Most delightful place i have ever stayed. If you want to see, it is called the Captain Lords Mansion in Kennebunkport. We are in the Callender suite.
No sign of mojo returning and even if it did, my joints are so painful we would have to add an appendices to the kama sutra as can't think of one position that wouldn't be absolute agony. Just have to believe that quality of life is going to get better than this... Am fed up of being creaking, fat and tired..... As you all are too. Though some of you have remained enviably slim and BIG M (waving) should be sued under trade descriptions as you are not big, you are beautifully svelte-like.
Lovely to see so many posts and i enjoyed reading them all. Lovely to see so many of you on homeward straight with rads.
Vanns, i am a qualified Bach Flower Remedy practioner and the remedies are very effective for dogs. Will make you up a remedy and post it as soon as i get home. One thing you can do is to walk a different route. If your pointer can smell your terriers scent it makes it harder to let go as she will expect her to appear round the corner. A vet told me this some years ago when i lost one of my dogs. Like you, i got a puppy and then started walking a new route so the 2 dogs ould establish a new scent trail.
Big hugs to Nat... Bless you bunnykins, it will all work out for you in time.
As for meeting up, well there is no reason we have to wait a year.... But if we meet en masse too often, it is likely to take the specialness away. So how about we do it twice a year? April to mark the month we truly became Easter chemo bunnies and last weekend in October as the annual Bunnyfeste? For me, i believe it is very important to keep this support going. I hate having to acknowledge it, but for a group of 14 women, statistics show that not all of us will remain disease free and whilst I am upbeat and positive, I do know that we aren't dealing with a dose of chicken pox here. None of us yet know the longer term side effects of the various treatments and so i just really need you all to stay with me as I will stay with you. No-one else understands the journey we have experienced together.