Starting chemo in April 2012

[margietee]

Hi Bunnies

Just back from our holiday in France and now nicely relaxed and de-stressed for the pre-Christmas preparations. Sending a wave of the paw to everyone and look forward to hearing from any bunnies down soon.

Hugs. Margie xxx

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

Am currently off the grid due to a dodgy Internet connection here in Portmeirion. Have had a fabulous relaxing week in Wales & really don't want to head back to real life & work next week. The weather here is beautiful & we have just had a long walk in the woods, knackered now though. Will be heading back to the room for a little snooze later I think. Our bed here has a telly that rises from the foot of the bed, so will be watching Strictly later from bed, how indulgent!!

Hope all bunnies are well & extra hugs to those bunnies down.

Love & virtual hugs
S xx

[sarabee2012]

Hello all and hugs to all our down bunnies. Now working 5 hours a day 5 days a week and finding it tiring but ok. Have already taken on more than I expected to and feels like I've not been away that long. Not sure if that's a good thing or not. Anyway resting up this weekend apart from a doggie Xmas party!

Take care and have a good weekend
hugs
Sarabee xxx

[sara12]

Hi all - just checking in to say hello. I'm OK but really not in the mood for talking.... just have to retreat into my cave, and emerge once I've sorted myself out.... it will just take a bit of time.

I am thinking of you though and wish you all well.

Sara x

[Guest user]

Hi Hyzenthlay

So glad to see you back we have missed you. Sorry to hear about your energy levels but know exactly where you are coming from. Still cannot get used to the fact I dont have the energy I used to have and hoping it will get back to where it was before. I have decided against recon will deal with what I have got which is I know is more than others - so grateful for half boob.

Big M giving you a big wave - pop up and say hello - please!!!!

Hugs & kisses to all bunnies

Hilary xxxxx

[Hyzenthlay]

Hello bunnies, I have been meaning to post for ages. I finished rads a fortnight ago, looking forward to free time but my energy levels have fallen off a cliff since then. If I do anything I need a day in bed to recover! I feel physically and mentally exhausted and scrabbling to keep up with my not exactly hectic schedule.

As to reconstruction, I think I am probably going for it. I have a follow up in March, so there is time for research, I'm hoping I'll get to a BCC info session. As the surgeon gravely stated when examining me "You have very large breasts" (I nearly laughed) - well I now have one very large breast and I feel like the amazing one breasted monster woman. Sigh.

I hope all bunnies are taking care of themselves. My BCN recommended the article about recovery that was posted here before. I think it was Sara12 that said that if this is the "new normal" then she isn't coping with it - I think we are probably all quite far from getting to our new normal as it is still early days. I hope everyone's doing OK and if not reaching out for some help.

lots of love,

Hyzenthlay xx

ps Well done LittleChick for proving that it is possible to lose weight on Tamoxifen!

[GMT]

Just a quickie. All the best Lee with your recon op, will be thinking of you.
Margie, my onc team are monitoring the trial but all I had done at this 3 month appt was have my blood pressure checked. My original onc, who was lovely, has gone to India to be with his family. He was missing his boys and wife too much and so has gone to be with them for about a year. The onc I've been assigned now is the onc who is overseeing the trial at my hospital so hopefully it will be better next time. My trial drug nurse is also leaving and she too was really good. I hope all these people leaving is not something I said !!
Hope everyone is feeling ok and those feeling down, a bit brighter.
lots of love,
Gaynor xx

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

I am having a chilled out time in Wales, the weather is surprisingly sunny ( the are has it's own micro climate) so have strolled into the village for tea & cake and I now going to have a snooze! It is a nice post rads treat & I am only checking my work phone once a day ( very disciplined for me).

MarGie your registration process sounds horrendous & there was me thinking it was a missing tick! I will send you a link to the team just giving page I have set up. Nat is very organised & has her page up and running, I will be stealing ideas with pride! I am happy to help with organising the next meet up and do the finances again. Maybe we could do London this time ?

Reading everyone's reconstruction experiences is really interesting &
highlights how hard it is to access balanced information. The bcc session was brilliant but they only do them in a few areas.

Hoping all the bunnies down are doing ok.

Love & virtual hugs to all.
S x

[margietee]

Hi Bunnies

Not posted for a while as I am still chilling in France. This moment it is beautiful sunshine, but it is likely to be a downpour any time now. It's one of those really changeable days, but good to be here. Thinking of Vanns on her sunny holiday ...

Big M, Sarah12, Amabarose and anyone else feeling 'bunny down', we are all here for you and hope you are better soon and back into posting on the forum. Pixie, take care. Look after yourself.

Gaynor - how awful having so many onc changes. Is it your onc team that follow you on the REACT trial (as it is with me)? How's that going? I have my first 3 monthly check up a few days before Christmas, so have to book myself in for ECG and blood test at the end of next week. I will be pleased to see the onc team (prob registrar) as I've been getting stabbing pains through my boobs again and my ribs are really sore under the left boob (bc boob).

All those of you talking recon past, present and future, I take my hat off to you all and thank my lucky stars I didn't have to go that route. I did say when I first had my diagnosis that I didn't want to be a 'monoboob', but don't know what decision I would have made had that been the case. Good luck to you all in making these big decisions. And yes, I can vouch for the fact that Sunny Southpool's silicone feels pretty fine. What a strange experience that was, standing by the buffet table at bunnyfeste copping a feel!!!!!

Christine, let us know how your scan goes and I hope (I'm sure) that it is just scar tissue xxx.

Speaking bunnyfeste, as I've offered to do my bit in putting the next one together I shall put my thinking cap on and come back with Qs about date, venue etc soon, but it may well be after Christmas now. Libby, good on you having the decs up already for Christmas. Expect mine will go up in about 10 days, just before family start descending for the big event.

Southpool, I emailed BCC to let them know the difficulties I was having registering for the Pink Ribbon Walk - I had got to the stage just before pressing the button to pay, so my user name had been accepted etc, but then I was thrown out of the booking form and back to the first page. Then when I tried putting in the accepted user name it told me someone else aleady had that name (yes, me, duh). BCC confirmed I hadn't paid when they emailed me back so now I have logged on with the first user name and created another, so I am registered on the walk site twice, albeit I have only paid once ..... this means when I look to see who is in the pink ribbon group you've set up I am there twice. I will phone them up whn I am back in the UK and sort it out, but rest assured, I am registered now, paid up and in the group!!!

Lots of love to all.

MarGiexxx

[Sameelee3]

Hi everyone, it's interesting to read how we came to our various decisions about recon. I was a bit confused at the start, to say theleast, but my sister in laws mum had BC about 10 years ago and decided on the expander because she just wanted enough boob to fill a bra. We spoke lots on the phone and she said she was really pleased with her decision. She did influence me in a good way; I'm glad that I did it. I think I've been lucky with the expander so far..... Apart from an odd shape at one point, it has been straightforward, but I will be happy to see it go tomorrow. Will let you know how it feels not to have the coconut chest.,
There is a lack of information, though; I googled 'expanders' for ages because I wanted to see exactly what they look like. Ws none the wiser, really. Then I found a YouTube video with a speeded up actual operation of putting in an implant! Can't believe I watched it now, but it must just have been gruesome fascination and a genuine need to know. Won't be watching it tonight!
Love to all bunnies below par; Sarah, glad to hear that you have some meds now, and Sarah12 hope you are not too down. Great reading all your recommendations for casting.... When I write to Richard with the outline of the plot, I am sure he will be grateful, although he might need a bigger budget. This is clearly no Art-House movie!
Will catch you all again soon,
sameelee
Xxx

[pepihorse]

Fingers crossed for you Christine xx

[Guest user]

Hi everyone.
Campo - Doc thinks the lump is scar tissue but am waiting for a CT scan npw. Otherwise I'm OK!
Pixie - congrats on reaching £8k but take care.
All of you goin on holiday - have a great time and rest!
Hugs to all.
Christine xxx

[Guest user]

Morning Bunnies

First big hugs to all those bunnies feeling extremely down so BigM, Sara12 and Ambarose pop over to the spa for a good dose of sunshine and lots of TLC. Libby12 step away from Google and I hope your Onc will be able to put your mind at rest.

I have decided on no more operations for me on boobs. My next appointment with the surgeon is next June when he will discuss reconstruction with me ie. reduce the good boob so it is the same as the affected boob. Affected boob is too badly damaged to do anything with. I DONT THINK SO! - he is not getting his hands on what I have got left. Once my bra is on unless you stare at my chest you can hardly see any difference. It is a lot more obvious when I wear the sports bra but always cover myself with jacket or body warmer. I am still sore & uncomfortable so those who are considering reconstruction you are very very brave ladies and fully understand why you are considering this step. Must admit having trouble looking at myself in the mirror these days but I will just have to get over it!

Pixie congrats on getting to the £8,000 but please be kind to yourself and rest. Take up Namar82's kind offer to help you. Southpool have a wonderful time in Wales.
GMT absolute pants re your ONC appointment. It is bad enough having to go through this ....... without getting ineffectual professional help. Fingers and everything crossed you have a good one next appointment.

Christmas tree is up here in the Spa and even though I say it myself looks pretty good. Looks very pretty when the log fire is glowing and the candles are lit. My sister posted on Face Book a video of carol singers surprising shoppers in a shopping mall in America/Canada somewhere. Found myself in tears - have not cried for many many months. I don't cry very easily at all it takes a lot to upset me so perhaps we are all dealing with some form of post traumatic stress syndrome after the year we have all had.

So come and join me in the Spa for masses of hot chocolate, mulled wine & lots of goodies whilst sitting in front of the log fire but no singing of christmas carols unless you have a large box of tissues with you!

Have a good Monday Bunnies.

Hugs & kisses

Hilary xxxxxxxx

[sarabee2012]

Sorry to hear so many of you are down. Sending you hugs. As I had large boobs I had enough left to shift around to make up the gap and had a reduction on the other boob at the same time. Not sure I would have coped with more surgery but my surgeon said there was no rush if I wanted to wait. My scars are still sore at times and the radiotherapy shrunk my bc boob a bit so it makes the reduction one look a little larger still. Plus the tissue in the bc boob came from my side muscles so it has taken time to stretch. Has been like wearing a tight bandage all the time. We're all different and I think that's a good thing. No one should feel pressured into doing something so take your time deciding. After all it's still your body!!!
Hugs all
Sarabee xxx

[southpool]

Wendy

My silicon prothesis was sorted out by my bcn, she had a cupboard full in all sizes & weights. As Little Chick says it is much heavier than the softy but feels like a normal breast weight in your bra. To touch it feels like a normal firm breast (MarGie can vouch for the feel of mine :-)). I would also recommend a bra fitting John Lewis & M&S do them and the lingerie evenings organised by bcc are fab if you can get to one. I wear mx bras and the prothesis is held secure in the inbuilt pockets, M&S have a great choice. Hope that helps.

Sarah sending big hugs & hope the tablets kick in quickly x

S x

[Guest user]

Wendy, the silicon prosthesis is much heavier than the softie and a much better job. You should be entitled to one on the NHS, why not ring your bcn and ask?

[pepihorse]

Hi everyone, still in a quandry regarding this blooming reconstruction, like you Gaynor I have exactly the same problem , was going for implant but no skin was left after MX and expander not worked, so have the 2 choices same as you, definately not going for the tummy one.... too longer recovery time for me and the back flap, is also on my main "usage! side too. Quite honestly, I wouldnt bother at all now, like little chick and Southpool, but what do I do about this useless expander they put in? I could ask them to take it out, but thats going to be surgery too, how much surgery I dont know, I think I might ask at some point.
I feel I dont want anymore pain and discomfort, so maybe I might go down that root, the only thing is, when I wear my bras with the softie thing my bra seems to ride up a bit, making me look lopsided !! I havent got a proper prothesis, Southpool, do you have this problem? I presume you have a silicone prothesesis? are they heavier to stop it riding up?? at the moment I am forever checking where me boob is and pushing it down to the correct place !
Oh, decisions, decisions of what to do..............................................
Wendy xx

[ambarose]

Hi bunnies, Sorry not been on because very down so can identify with sara 12. have now been to GP and on medication for depression so waiting for it to start working. So not very sociable and have missed 2 weeks of forum. Thanks Big M for support some days ago. My BCN says this is very common but it feels like the worst bit of all the treatment.
Love to all
Sarah

[libby12]

Hi everyone having a Bunny down day again. Pains in my back and legs on BC side are really worrying me, had them for a few weeks now, and my mind has started working overtime, I was very stupid and looked at bone mets and other things I should not have looked at. Having Herceptin tomorrow so will ask to see onc , will the worry ever stop. Anyhow had a lovely lunch with Southpool , it helps so much to be able to have a good talk to someone who knows what I am on about , especially about our SEs. really enjoyed meeting up. Pixie slow down and look after yourself . Big M hope you are feeling a bit better sounds horrible what you have been through, and I hope your son is ok. Anyhow just put up the Christmas tree looks really lovely ,i have been collecting crystal ornaments for the tree over the years , and it really sparkles. Off now to Mums to help her with a few jobs. Love to all Elaine xxxx

[Guest user]

Southpool, I had mx and opted for no reconstruction too. At 45 it might have been a hard decision, but I am lucky to have a very secure relationship with hubby and decided like you that I'd wear my silicon in my bra. I haven't regretted my decision either, and with my clothes on no-one would know. Im also glad not to have any more scars or surgery (fingers crossed). The prosthesis is a great job and with bra on, it even feels like a natural boob to me. The weight on my shoulder is perfect. Good luck to those of you making decisions but remember there's no rush now. X

[sarabee2012]

Can I put in a request for John Barrowman to come along too? And I think either Jennifer Saunders or Caroline Quentin could play me In the film.
Hope you're all having a good weekend.

Hugs
Sarabee xx

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

Pixie rest up you naughty bunny. If you want any admin help give me a shout I'm happy to do any reconciling you need doing if that would help.

Nat that is really helpful offering to share your positive reconstruction experience, I really don't think our hospitals give enough support in decision making. I went to a really good BCC reconstruction session & would recommend checking out if there is anything locally for those bunnies having to make the decision.

As I have said previously I have decided against reconstruction & am choosing to live breast free. It is 8 months since my surgery & I am really happy with my false boob. The choice on underwear is now great & in clothes & underwear you would never know I had 1 boob. On holiday I wore a fab bikini & swam everyday with no problems at all. I one describe it as wearing my silicon in my bra rather than under my skin!! Suppose what I am trying to say is having a reconstruction isn't always best for everyone. Take your time deciding & use all the resources you can to make the decision.

Gaynor that is rubbish about your onc, fingers crossed your new one is better. I am so grateful for my onc, she is my absolute heroine and I trust her completely. I have been so lucky with my hospital & treatment. My bcn gets me completely, my surgeon did a fab job & treats me like the intelligent woman I am, my onc is fab & the dedicated psychologist was top notch. Our local hospital is much maligned as inner city hospitals often are, but my care has been first class & I am so lucky to be able to say that.

Hopping off as it is a lovely crisp cold day here in Wales & I am off for a stroll on the beach.

Love & virtual hugs to all.

S x

[Guest user]

Hi Bunnies

Just a quick post to say, Pixie, you know where I am if you need help with the Happy Bag empire. I work 11 -3pm and can quite easily come to you after work as I'm half way there working in Wakes Colne. Please rest up bunny and stop overdoing it!

Those battling with the decision regarding reconstruction, please do not hesitate to email me if you want to ask about my DIEP (flap & Tissue from tummy). I went for this option as it was the best for me and it is a big operation but I feel, as do other ladies I know that have had it done, that it was the best thing I ever did. I will admit that this was all done at the same time as my mastectomy and I will have to have a further day procedure as the nipple reconstruction is completed after the event. I have photos if anyone would like to see as well.

I hope you all have an enjoyble day and hugs to those of you feeling down at the moment.

Love to all
Nat xxxxxx

[pesteringpixie]

Hi
i feel quite humbled when I read about the difficulties and dilemmas some of you are facing regarding reconstruction. Mary, the draining of your lump sounds dreadful, i hope it has given you some relief.

when i was first diagnosed, i read a book by a woman called Janice Day and her journey through bc. it helped me decide thai had I needed mx, i wouldn't have gone down the reconstruction route. It takes a lot of courage as these are big operations, so my special love to those of you going through it.

sunday morning and still in bed as not 100%. As usual, i have been overdoing it. Last 2 weeks has seen me up into the early hours trying to keep up with the Happy Bag empire. It's hard work at such volume as there is a lot more to it than just making up the bags. Have put up a notice saying xmas order cut off is 10th December Otherwise I shall be at it on xmas eve.

Gaynor, what a horror having a series of ineffectual oncs. Lets hope the next one is up to par. It seems there is a significant variation in bc care across the country. Outside of London and the specialist hospitals there, the best one is Southampton, so perhaps we should all move there.

Wishing you all a gentle day

much love

Pixie xx

[GMT]

Hi all,
Liking all the suggestions for the screen play!
Had a really crappy appt with new oncologist this week. Couldn't even work the computer to get blood test results and bone density scan! Said my mx side with expander shouldn't feel like that, I had to explain why it was hard, full of water, metal port etc. I don't think he'd ever come across one before. I stopped asking questions cos didn't feel he could answer them . The good news is he leaves at the end of the week so ill be on to my 3rd onc. Trial drug nurse dx aid she would try to get me one of the good established ones, she phoned yesterday and she has got me a good one ( I hope).
Lee re 2 month recovery for recon, I have got to have a flap from stomach or back. I think when we talked at meet up you were having your expander replaced with an implant. That was my original route but because of rads I have to have some more skin from somewhere. I'm too in a quandary Pepihorse, as mine is my dominant side and I'm worried about muscle but will also need a implant if use back flap. Not sure I want that now. I'm feeling v confused by it all!
Vanns, have a lovely holiday.
sorry to hear you are so down Big M, that back blood stuff sounds horrid. Hope you are feeling brighter.
cant remember all the posts sorry, but lots of love as always to you all,
Gaynorxx

[southpool]

MarGie

It is the bloody tiny tick box at the bottom of the form!! I did exactly the same thing and then spotted the tick box. It is about as user friendly as the forum not highlighting the missing area & the wiping your passwords!! Xxx

[pesteringpixie]

Hi bunnies...

well all this casting couch talk..... Quite like idea of Julie Walters for me.... Sally- Anne is definitely Margie Clarke. No to Judi Dench for one of the twosome, but Anne Reid a possibility. However to get spot on, you need Dora Bryan and Thelma Barlow.
Don't mind Kylie doing a guest spot, she is very classy. Must have Jo Brandt, adore her.

as for the punkawallahs, well ladies, you can keep the eye candy, I want punkawallahas that can hold a sparky conversation and are very bright. So I would like Ian Hislop and Jack Dee to entertain me.

hope all well, vanns half way over the Atlantic now. I am struggling with all things Happy Bags. Drowning in orders and working round the clock to get them out so am stopping all orders on 7th December and will start again after xmas. Raised £8000 now.

much love to all. Pixie xx

[margietee]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. I have tried about 10 times at least to register for the pink ribbon walk and it keeps telling me I haven't filled in all the required fields when I HAVE. So frustrating. Think I will leave doing it till I am back in the UK.

Frustrated MarGiexxx

[Guest user]

Thanks Margietee Tilda Wilton it is then!

Love

Campo xx

[Guest user]

Totally yes to louis spence he is hilarious
Vanns x

[sarabee2012]

Have a great time Vanns!
Not sure who could play me in the forum film will have to think about it! In the meantime can we have Louis Spence as well? He looks brilliant fun!
hugs to everyone
Sarabee xxx

[southpool]

MarGie, I have sent you an email. Let me know if you don't get it.

Little chick our posts crossed but a yes to both Louis Smith & Lewis Hamilton from me.

Am now leaving the Internet because I have got ITT to watch & Miranda Hart is on it and I love her ( Sara12 what do you think to Miranda playing you ?).

Love & hugs
S x

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

Had a lovely lunch with Elaine today, we never stopped talking for nearly 2 hours ( Meryl Streep needs to play her in Forum the movie). It is so lovely to catch up.

MarGie have obviously sent the email to the wrong address doh! Will resend now and attempt to type the address correctly. The registration site is about as user friendly as this forum... And my stubby fingernail free fingers don't help!

I am also loving the idea of including Kylie, she is a real cutie.

Vanns have a fabulous time bunny, I am very jealous.

Christine please let us know how you got on with your lump x

Love & virtual hugs to all.
S x

[Guest user]

Ooh, I like the sound of being played by Helena bonham carter Margie, thank you :-), she's even a year older than me yay! How about Louis smith for a punkawallah? He could hold a fan for hours with all that gym training, and when we got bored he could entertain us with the pommel horse. Also, I reckon Lewis Hamilton could drive the golf buggies that ferry us about 🙂

[margietee]

Hi. Just a quickie to say happy holiday to Vanns, you lucky bunny. Enjoy! Also Vanns, i agree about Kylie and was also going to suggest she should have a role in Forum-the movie. I'd thought of her having a cameo role as herself, but if Campo wants her for her role then that's cool wIth me. campo, pleased you liked Tilda Swinton - I think she has a lovely warm, empathetic and open face and that's particularly what made me think of her for you, but Kylie could be good instead ..,, this is starting to take shape. Good on Lee for starting it. And while i'm here, good luck Lee for next week. Holding paws, bunny.

southpool, ive not received an email about the blenheim walk ....

love, MarGiexxx

[pepihorse]

Vanns ! Have a good holiday in Barbados, say "hi" to my daughter for me, shes there too ! if you see a big yacht called "The Lady S" thats where she is ! she works on it, not owns it !!! ha ha !! Her names Leanne, so say hello for me as I wont see her till March !!!
Thanks, Wendy !!!

[Guest user]

Hi Bunnies

Margietee googled Tilda Swinton as I have got to admit Bunnies I am rubbish at which actor is etc. Anyway looked at the images of Tilda Swinton and recognised her but had a good fit of the giggles as one of the pics shows the hair on the side of her neck as the sun is behind her - thought yep there is the Angora hair - that will do fine.

Southpool - Have a lovely lunch with libby and have a marvellous week in Harlech - enjoy & relax.

Vanns have a wonderful marvellous holiday. Just relax and enjoy every minute of it - you derserve it as does your OH. Re Kylie wicked idea - love it. Infact would love her to be me as she would look wonderful in a Khaftan, is blonde (as some thought I was), she is a lot of fun and would certainly keep us entertained and up beat. Plus her dance troupe could be the rest of the punkawallah. Plus she would have no problem dragging along Elton, El Divo etc. etc.

Hugs & kisses to ALL BUNNIES

Hilary xxxxxxxxx

[Guest user]

Hi bunnies,
Just done two positive things. Packed for my holiday to Barbados on Saturday and signed up for a ten mile walk.
If truth be told I'm a bit scared about both !
Please can kylie be in our film. If Elton gets to be at the spa singing then I defo think she should be as she has been through all this too. And she is fit !
Vanns x

[southpool]

Hi Bunnies

Have just registered for the ribbon walk 10 miles at Blenheim & have sent team invites to everyone who expressed an interest. If you haven't had an email are want to join, just let me know.

Like MaGie I am enjoying thinking of cast members for The Forum. Could I possibly add a couple of Strictly pro dancers to the punkawallah line up. I have a girl crush on Natlie Lowe & she is Australian and I love Ian Waite who would be a perfect gay gentleman. MarGie I love your castings, how about Anne Reid for Mother or Aunt Mary? I am now pondering on who should do the soundtrack (OH has just suggested the Pet Shop Boys!).

I am looking forward to meeting Libby for lunch tomorrow & then am off to Harlech for a week of beach walking, reading trashy novels & chilling in front of a log fire.

Love & virtual hugs to all.
S x

[margietee]

Hi Buns.

Ive been having great fun in the casting room, googling around for possible actresses to play us all in Forum - the movie.

Little Chick, how about Helena Bonham Carter? I think she would make a very credible mad scientist and she's brilliant. Vanns, dawn french would be a good choice even though her girth is a lot different to yours ... But she is such a character and i can really imagine her in a netball skirt wielding a hockey stick, creating havoc. How about Carey Mulligan for Nat? And maybe seeing if keira would be up for rachel's part (it is the cheekbones that do it). I wondered about kristin scott thomas for ambarose and tilda swinton for campo. and maybe minnie driver for sameelee ..... Hope no one is offended by any of these suggestions, they are all actresses i love playing the roles of bunnies i love.

Other actresses ive put into the mix in my mind are rachel weisz, married to daniel craig ... Possibly gaynor??? And i wondered about dame judi for one of the twins, but the only person i could think of to go with her for the other twin is mag gie smith, though she is maybe a bit too tall ... But she was so good with judi dench in lavender ladies and we do have to use some degree of imagination in our casting.

as for punkawallahs, thanks for the insider information hilary. so far ive only come up with tom daley. Definitely not one of the gay punkawallahs but i think he fits the bill in terms of good looks and muscles! Perhaps Rylan from this year's x factor could be a camp one ....

hope everyone is doing ok whether they are up or down. Im enjoying my hols, but my feet are playing havoc so im hobbling everywhere. Thinking of you all. Big hugs.

marGie xxx

[Guest user]

Hi Bunnies

Thinking of you today Chrisp1e - hoping that it is just scar tissue. Glad rads are going okay Gadget Gal. BigM - huge wave & hug to you. Southpool glad to hear that the Physc session was beneficial. Libby12 also good to hear that you are also benefiting from the Macmillan sessions. Pepihorse I hope you get your answer re the implant and back surgery soon.

To all Bunnies a huge big hug - for all those feeling down, in pain, energetic & bouncing.

Love the idea of the film being insitu in Spain - I know just the beach and location!! Re punkawallahs - I thought I would give you a bit more background to them. First, they come from various different countries eg. Australia, New Zeland, Africa, India, Britain etc. etc. There are about 20 of them, two of which are girls. What they all have in common of course is that they are all extremely fit (due to a lot of punkawallahing), well tanned & goodlooking (eye candy) Now a number of the boys are gay, infact they can be very Camp which as you know ladies makes us laugh - otherwise how did you think I got Elton John to come and play for us! Plus of course they are very good at helping us chose our nail colours etc. So looking forward to hearing ideas for casting them!

Hugs & kisses to all.

Love

Hilary xxxx

[Guest user]

Thank you all for good wishes. I phoned BCN yesterday and she contacted me with an appointment to see the onc tomorrow. I'm hoping it's just some scar tissue as it's very near where I had my lumpectomy earlier in the year. What next?
Hugs to everyone. Take care and keep safe.
Christine xx

[Guest user]

Mary, sending you a big hug xxx

[Guest user]

Vanns, you are so right when you say that the SEs don't seem so bad when you know other bunnies have them too. I wouldn't wish them on anyone though. My oncsaid "it's always the ones you don't want to get it that get it" and told me a tale that the worst case of neuropathy he ever saw was in a piano teacher. It seems particularly cruel in a PE teacher too. Christine, thanks for reassurance that I'm not going mad and that I really do feel this thing on my head and like you I keep wanting to slap my hand up there!
Love the sound of thisfilm and definitely we need a location shoot in Spain for the spa. Hmmm, will need to have a think about the punkawallahs, but would suggest some of the Olympic athletes who were such an inspiration to us when we were in the dark days of chemo 🙂 youll need to find some kind of mad scientist person to play me lol. Xxx

[Guest user]

hi

Just a quick update from me: Radiotherapy is going as expected. Today was 6/25. skin is a bit hot to touch but not burning. After the very fist session, the bolus pad made me a little bit itchy so the radiographers make sure the layer of tissue is big enough so that they bolus doesn't actually touch me. That makes it better. Funnily enough though, my skin is turning black around the chest wall and there's a very distinct line about 1-2 inches below my shoulder where the edge of the pad lies. I will have the pad for every session so goodness knows how it will look on the 25th session!


I'm taking on board the problems with the mx scar tightening so I'm keeping any eye on my skin and making sure it's not too tight. is there anything else we can do apart from the normal advice??

I use 99.9% aloe vera and I've ordered some 100% stuff on line (recommended by a doctor that specialised is wellbeing during radiotherapy), bathing with E45 or milk soap etc.


Thankfully the waiting times are good. I've never waited more than 5 minutes in the waiting room. one morning they were behind schedule so they moved me to another machine so as not to keep me waiting.

I will catch up on posts a little bit later. take care everyone 🙂

[southpool]

Sending big virtual hugs to Big M, get yourself to Campos spa for a couple of days. Christine hope the lump is ok, make sure you get it checked out quickly. Wendy I am not planning a reconstruction and am very happy being breast free with my false boob (Dolly) in my bra rather than under my skin. Weigh up all your options carefully, reconstruction is a big op & you need to be happy with your choice.

Lee the FORUM has prompted much discussion in our house and I've concluded on Jessica Stevenson to play me please. She is my favourite comic actress & is blonde! Pixies mother & auntie Mary absolutely have to be included, as does Campos spa ( now who should be the Punkawallahs?) This also means we have to go to Spain on location, just to check out that they have recreated it correctly. We can have hours of fun with this.

I am good & my physc appointment was brilliant, was talking for 11/2hrs partly because my inner geek is fascinated by the physcology of losing a boob and partly because she really helped me rationalise my dark thoughts & fears for the future. Like MarGie I have been mourning a future I had in my dreams of travelling the world with my OH into my dotage & living to a ripe old age hanging out with my girlie mates who would also live to be batty old women!! This future was never real and all my bc diagnosis has done has brought home to me that it was just a fantasy, it hasn't taken that future from me in anyway. One session has made such a difference I would certainly recommend it & she confirmed that I am fine to have my risk reducing surgery & I'm not a crackpot for wanting it!

Today I am going back to school for the first time since March. I am vice chair of governors of a boys EBD school and have an afternoon with the Head & Chair sorting out our Finances as our budgets have been cut drastically by this government ( ours boys aren't important to our LEA or government). I am so looking forward to going back & doing battle.

Love & virtual hugs to all, but especially the bunnies down.
S x

[sarabee2012]

Just popping in to say glad you're ok Big M and hugs to all our bunnies down. Will post a longer message tomorrow but just off to bed as am shattered.
Much love
Sarabee xxx

[Guest user]

Big big hugs big M
Love vanns x

[libby12]

Hi all, sorry to hear that a few of us are feeling down, Mary sending you a big big hug, please take care of yourself. Christine hope your lump is ok and nothing to worry about, I had one just after chemo, it turned out to be a gland, so hope yours is too. Wendy hope you get some joy from the BCC, It must be hard coping by yourself, you too look after yourself only wish I lived nearby to give you a hand.Well week 3 on the macmillan Hope Course, today we discussed body image, emotions, deep breathing and I find it is really helping, and its so good to hear that everyone else has the same fears, feelings ect as myself, really good course if anyone is thinking of joining up for it. Still have really bad joint pain and now this has gone to my back, hopefully the acupuncture will help on Thursday, so keeping fingers crossed. I would love to do the walk, I will be back at work then but hopefully can get some time off. Anyhow love to all that I have not mentioned I think of you all daily. Elainexxxx

[pepihorse]

Hi Christine, thanks for the info, am really dreading all this extra surgery, but got to have some surgery to get rid of this blinking expander that is useless, I feel I do not want my back muscle taken away, It must make you weaker in strength on that side, and as mine is my right side and I am right handed, I can foresee problems.
I live alone so have to do everything myself, so if anything is heavy, its only me to do it, unless I ring a friend, which is a nuisance.
I just want an implant, but cant as dont have enough skin to put one under. so if they can just take my skin and leave the muscle in place, I would be a lot happier. I might ask if she can do that, but its getting to speak to her as would need another appointment, which is hard to get, I might ring BCC and ask her, whats best to do, as its just been left for me to wait for appointment for back flap surgery, its all too much !!!
I have my fingers crossed that the lump in your neck is nothing to worry about, but get it seen to as soon as you can, as you will only imagine the worst. When I found a lump in my other breast, they checked it out in a few days after I rang the BCC. Mine was ok, hope yoursis too.
Wendy xxx