Sounds like everyone is beginning to pick up a little. I have been in chemo hibernation for the past few days and watching temp closely but have managed to avoid another hospital visit (so far at least).Although still having the botty problems.
Looking forward to having a 'good week' berfore next dose of FEC next Tuesday. Starting tomorrow with the LGFB session. I am meeting Teresa for lunch and then we are going along together.
Also prone to chemo fog so can't remember all the posts without scrolling back. Hope you are on the up Herbi and congratulations Kathleen. Very impressed with all the baking Collette, watch out Mary Berry!
Have a good evening all,
Thanks to everyone for good wishes about the house sale - important because the stress wasn't helping me to fight the disease.
Fiona, I have one acquaintance who tried to give up half-way through because she couldn't face her next treatment. Her ONC was lovely and sent her for some counselling. She's now at the grey goddess stage of hair regrowth and very glad she went back on treatment. I know one of these days I will want to run away, but if I got myself into that hospital on the day of my Mx I hope I can make myself face anything! That birthday trip of yours is only postponed. We are going to Cornwall with the whole family in September if all is well - frankly I'll be there if I have to swim there. Very comforting words about metastatic disease - it is the fear that lurks within us and knowing that it can be managed gives us all hope.
Heavens Colette, you put me to shame. I managed gingerbread, gluten-free fruitcake and spice biscuits before Christmas and no real baking since except for a quick sponge mix with the very bossy three-year-old in my life on a non-nauseous day. I didn't dare ask my son what he told her about not being able to visit every day as she used to but heard him explaining on Sunday that granny had to go to the hospital for her sore tummy this week and so they couldn't come down in case they gave me germs! So honest and so matter-of-fact with her. She then extracted a promise that we would make cupcakes when I'm feeling better.
Christine, I'm glad you sound more cheerful now. We all have those moments when panic hits and the chemo leaves us all feeling vulnerable. On the positive side, in years to come you can cheerfully tell people that cancer cured your fear of long-haul flights!
Herbi, I just realised that I changed your little one's gender!Huge apologies. Apart from my thick head hair, I've never been very hairy - if my eyelashes and brows go, no-one will notice - but the few hairs I have on my legs are refusing to leave. You're right about the randomness of this thing. Hope you don't feel too alone when OH goes on night shift. Just remember your virtual friends are never far way even if we can't give physical help.
I've rambled long enough now.
Have a good evening DDs,
Colette- where do you live, not in hampshire I presume, if you were I'd be round, especially for the brownies! Where do you find the energy to make all that? I agree about shop deliveries, if only they could put it away.
Kathleen- I am so pleased about your house in France and your neutrophils. Odd isn't it , the two are worlds apart, but both very important. Good luck with FECC x3 tomorrow, I'm FECC 3 next week and dreading it all ready. I know why we are all doing it , but taking yourself there to the hospital when you know it's going to make you feel so awful is getting harder!!
Grace- My memory is awful, definite chemo brain, I can only remember the posts by scrolling down the old posts below while writing this. Thank goodness I'm not working properly, I'm sure I'd make some awful mistakes.
Herbi- glad you are feeling better today. I hate the nausea too, that is what I dread most of all the SEs. I actually am normally a really hairy person and I'm enjoying the hair loss everywhere but my head. I may even start epilating my arms once they grow back post chemo! I like my much smoother skin, but do not like my head without a hat or snood on!
Christine- You sound quite low, the music is lovely, I hope with the scenery around you it was more uplifting.I know we all have cancer, but most of us will be cured of it and even if we have metastic disease my surgeon said just think of it as a chronic disease, as they can keep it at bay for years and years.
My OH won't inject me as he says it hurts, which it does, and he can't do that- I wish I'd never said I'd do it!! I was due to go to Las Vagas and the Grand Canyon this year to celebrate my 50th, all cancelled, but hopefully another time.
Take care all you DDs
1997 I saw the Grand Canyon and loved it so much (before meeting my OH). My husband always wanted to go to America for a holiday and I never wanted, scared of flying, bad enough flying to Germany. But now having cancer I think sod the flying and hope to go to America next year when I finish the Herceptin. We need future plans 🙂
Colette I'm on my way ... sounds yummy
Kathleen, what a relieve! At least that's off oyur mind now. Hope FEC is going well tomorrow. I always feel nauseas in the eve, but nothing too bad, doesn't stop me having my dinner.
Grace I can't remember either, I keep scrolling down LOL
You online shoppers i was in morrions today and did a big shop, made some nice soup, walked dogs. I have to remind myslef of this drinking lark, jut don't keep up with it and then I try to catch up in the evening.
Lots of love to you all from Christine xxx
Nice to see that most of us are on the up, I too am feeling pretty good today 🙂
Herbi you post sounds brighter, glad you are not feeling so sick now. Whenever anyone is not well, even non "C" related, I think once they get to the point they want to get up and get in the bath they are turning the corner. Always feel so much brighter after 😉
Kathleen great news! Raising a virtual glass of champers with you now - cheers!
Grace I also have trouble keeping up with the posts (and that was pre chemo brain too!) have to open 2 windows and read up and down so I don't miss any, lol
I have done my big shop online for about 3 years (due to working upto 12 hrs a day - not anymore though!)and I couldn't do without it. Shame they don't actually come and put it in your cupboards for you too!!
Christine, your walk sound lovely. My family are originally from Carlisle, and when I was younger we spent lovely holidays at the Lakes - have some fab memories. Thanks for the link, will save it for when I am feeling a bit melancholy.
Well best be off - told them I would be baking today. They are all expecting cheese scones, brownies, pavolva and cheese cake to be ready when they get in. I haven't even started yet! lol why do I set myself these tasks?
Have a good day ladies
Hugs to all xxx
Good morning everyone,
My neutrophils are back to normal and our house in France is sold! Champagne anyone? No, me neither but a good night's sleep will do.
I hope all is well with everyone today. FECx3 for me tomorrow and like everyone else I'm praying it doesn't leave me any worse than 2. Also have to have Neulasta - from district nurse thank goodness since injecting myself would require more strength than I could possibly muster these days.
Grace, believe me I have to keep re-reading posts to try to remember all the names so you are not alone. We are all living in a fog at the moment but at least we're among understanding friends.
Online shopping is certainly the way to go for now - stress-free and germ-free.
Love to all and may we all have a tolerable day,
Been catching up on the posts again; welcome Hinchy, another TAC lady – hope you’re enjoying a good week prior to your 3rd session next week. My next TAC (also third) is due next Tuesday. Just hoping that the fatigue levels don’t increase even more this time; I was taken by surprise at just how my energy dipped after the 2nd cycle.
Herbi, sorry you’ve been struggling; baths seems to be the highlight of my days nowadays too! Hope you’re picking up now.
Good to catch up with how all of you lovely ladies are doing; as I read I want to respond to just about every post, but when I come to type, energy and memory seems to elude me! I really admire those of you who seem to keep up with where everyone is at.
Although tired, all the other side effects eventually wore off and I’m enjoying what feels almost normal again – though I have done my first online shop as the idea of traipsing up and down the supermarket aisles does not appeal!
Hope you’re all having a good day and coping ok with whatever SE’s are lingering –
Love Grace x
Evening dear DD,s,
I now no longer smell like Grommit but have a terrible Wallace cheese craving! Ur right katyb , never thought having a bath would be a major achievement, but I suppose it goes to show what we take for granted. I don,t get this hair loss thing and am becoming quite obsessive about what will go next. I still have a stalag type crop which will come out if I tug it, lower leg hair gone, lady garden gone, but hairy thighs and arms. It,s very strange. I look like a first year beauty student has been practising on me!
Little one enjoyed her run on the moors but OH back on night shift tomorrow which I feel a bit apprehensive about. Daft how this cancer lark saps your confidence in the most basic of tasks. Hopefully legs willfeel slightly less leaden tomorrow as two flights of stairs is almost too much. At least I,m feeling a bit less sick, hurray for small victories!
Now, who,s got the crackers?
I drove up to one of my favourites spots today Loch Ashie to walk the dogs, on the way i had classic radio on and they played a lovely piano piece, I just had tears running down my cheeks thinking about what lies ahead of me, maybe more bad news, it's cancer after all. I like to share the piece with you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr4FN_DOpSk&feature=related
Fiona your dentist should be able to give you a little s/c injection!!! He does a lot of worse in his job! LOL
Love to you all,
Herbi, I do hope you are starting to feel better. I hate the lack of normal taste and sickness, luckily mine has come back at present, until the next chemo. I definietly feel quite wobbly around day 4-5 post chemo,and Kathleens entry made me smile as when I did my Sainsbusry shop on day 6 I also could have sat down and cried from fatigue/ wooziness. Perhaps someone would have finished my shopping if I had!
I also have definite chemo brain, my concentration and short term memory is shot to pieces, and I know it is not because I'm depressed. (although it doesn't take too much to make be have a little blub!)It also gets better as chemo wears off.
I'm glad you had a good weekend with your son Debbie, isn't it hard when they go back?
I'm about to start my good pre chemo week and I'm doing OK already. I think the fatigue is better this time , actually managed 5 hours at work doing paperwork only- not my favourite past time.
Hope everyone else OK.
Sorry you still feel ghastly - had the wobbles last time for nearly a week and it was very upsetting. Just know that it will leave you soon and in the meantime only do things that make you feel good. I dragged myself out with OH on day 5 last time and felt like sitting down in the middle of Sainsbury's and having a good howl.
I'm glad the little one is off on an adventure with his dad. It will do them both good. I sometimes send grandad to take three-year-old grand-daughter out for a walk to give my pregnant daughter-in-law a break from her and to give himself a break from miserable old me.
I've had the reading thing too, looking at the same page for ten minutes without making sense of a word. No problems right now because my body has had an extra week to clear the chemo. Think I'd rather feel toxic and closer to end of treatment.
I hope you had a lovely bath and are now feeling fresher if not better. Did you ever think a bath would represent the pinnacle of achievement for the day? No, me neither!
Love and hugs,
Sunny here too for the minute. OH has taken little one out for a run on the moors and to see if there are any tadpoles as it has been so mild this year. Thanks for all your kind comments, no one else quite gets this feeling i don,t think. Still in bed feeling sick and wobbly but am going to try a bath in a minute as I smell! I know things are bad as my dog won,t leave my side! ( or maybe that's cos I smell like him) . Hope everyone enjoying a bit of spring weather and feeling ok,
I am having real trouble reading, just can,t seem to focus or follow a sentence, is this common?
Take care all x
Good morning everyone,
Debbie I hope you're right and most of us are just having a lazy morning. I had a rare sleepless night for no particular reason - worried about house sale and neutropenia in equal measure, I suppose. Blood test tomorrow morning to see if I can have third FEC this week (postponed from last week). Not looking forward to Neulasta SEs!
Herbi I saw your post at 2am and nearly answered but thought you might have got over to sleep by then. It sounds as if you're having a rotten time right now. You look great in your photo even without hair. Just remember that if you were young and fit before this, you'll be young and fit after it. I know how bad it makes you feel when your family sees you at a low ebb. Even with grown-up children you feel ridiculously guilty. We had to break the news to our two sons with children that they had one week to arrange alternative childcare. Then we had to face not seeing our gorgeous grandchildren when they turned into miniature biohazards from exposure to the germs in crèche. With your own child being so young you must have that concern constantly.
It's sunny out there so I'm going to drag my lazy body out into the fresh air. Hope we all have a better day today.
Welcome hug to (((Hinchy))) My first Tax is nect week thursday, so we can have it together.
Herbi, I'm so sorry this hits you so badly 😞 😞 :(. I hope everyday you feel a bit better. Our healthy body cells take quite a battering with this chemo but they do bounce back within a few days (in my case about 10-12).
I so know where you all are coming from, the look into the mirror, the less energy. I have to surrender now to the low energy levels. I always do something, if not physically than mentally as this is what it was like pre chemo, but i'm not the same person anymore. Chemo does take its toll. It's good to rest in between.
Debbie good the scare is over, as temo never went too high. I find I don't trust my body anymore now as I used to. So it's easy to get worried and be careful, but than that's what they tell us, to take note of symptoms and phone rather onece too often than once too late.
Re dreams, I dream something and than BC comes in. I dreamed having piano lessons (used to have years ago) and suddenly saying to the piano teacher I'm confused and I just didn't get what she was on about and than I wondered if she knew I had chemo. I also dreamed recently to have brain mets.
Speak later, lots of love, if anyone having treatment today all the best,
Good morning DDs,
We are all very quiet this morning. Hope that everyone is well and just having a lie in after a good weekend. Welcome to the DDs Hinchy, what part of the country are you in?
Christine - how are your se's? hope the thumb and bum are much better?! I am still quite uncomfortable down there and have been watching my temperature like a hawk over the weekend. So far it has been ok and hasn't gone above 37.5 for more than an hour. I seem to be hovering around the 37.3 mark most of the time.
Was lovely to have DS home for the weekend. Having a very lazy day to day as have parents dog sitting for the day and can just take it easy without being doggie nagged to go for walks.
bye for now,
Hi all and welcome Hinchy,
Another really bad day for me, u know that feeling when all u can do is stare at the ceiling cos u feel so I'll, that was me today. Finally forced self to shuffle downstairs at 6 o clock , feel really sad my 5 year old has to cope with all this.
Kathleen, ur description of Geraldine Mcewen made me laugh, I knew I,d seen my reflection somewhere before.! Am now being kept awake by the pain in my hips from the neulasta injection but at least feel slightly less sick. Having real trouble drinking this time, was quite good last cycle but my taste buds packed up instantly this time and everything tastes horrid.
Debbie, hope you had a good lunch with ur family. My eldest son is at uni in Gloucester and is always spoilt rotten when he,s back.
Hinchy, have just had my second TAC , 3 rd is due on feb 9 th. did you find each one worse or is it just me? I was so fit and healthy before all this and am really struggling with how I feel .
Hope everyone has a good night and thanks for all the kind thoughts, this would be a much lonelier place without you all
Sorry our posts must have crossed this morning, sorry I would have said Hi earlier.
Think many of us lurked before initially posting, I definitely did! Ladies on here are amazing.
My veins are a little sore and hard too, the chemo nurse recommended massaging with almond oil, which I am giving a go. Trouble is my son has a severe nut allergy, so can only do it when he is not around. Also stretching the arm when in the bath.
Just a quickly, off to bed now
Sleep well all xxx
Hinchy, welcome to one latecomer from another. You'll love the company here.
Herbi, I hope you are on the up again. We all hit some bumps in the road and it can be very disheartening. At least here we all have people who know how we feel!
Debbie, glad the temperature settled - I'm on antibiotics for sore throat and cough and was on the watch like you but seems to have settled between 36.8 and 37.2. You have all my sympathy on the tail-end problems. Not suffering myself yet but had a fissure after my first baby( forty years ago ) and I still wince at the memory. If your temperature has settled down you could probably risk a pain-killer at bed-time. Hope your family Sunday was lovely.
Colette, thank you for asking about the house - still no word from the lawyer and OH is like a cat on a hot tin roof. They don't work on Mondays, so we won't know until Tuesday morning. I could text the estate agent in the morning but I'm afraid of getting bad news. ( How is this woman coping with cancer, you ask - pretty much the same way, I don't ask a question unless I think I can deal with the answer!)
I know everyone dreams, but I haven't remembered a single one since the night I was diagnosed. It's probably self-protection. Fiona, I laugh at the mirror now - I was a not-bad-looking 61 before this began and I now look like Geraldine McEwan as the sorceress in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. If that means nothing to you, take my word for it Dahl's witches are princesses in comparison. It's amazing what hair can hide.
This was meant to be a short post. I'm off to share a laugh at Les Dawson with OH.
A peaceful, pain-free Sunday night to everyone.
Welcome to the group. You are at about the same stage as Debbie and I , we are both due our third FECC on tues/Wed week. Sorry you've had to join the group, it must be so difficult with such young children too. I'm 49yrs but my children have grown up as you can see from previous entry. Your side effects are pretty much what we are getting, esp the constipation for some. My nausea is the worst bit, still get it even now at day 12 if I get tired.
Hope your sore throat and cough are getting better.
Hi herbi just noticed that you are on TAC like me. How are you feeling today? Hope your feeling better. When is your next one? Mine is a week on Thur (at least that is half way!)
Love S x
Just popping on to update on temp. Well thankfully it stayed stable at 37.3 all last night (took it every hour until going to bed) and then this morning was back down to 36.6. will continue monitoring today. Quite sore down below still, despite the sheriproct, and the dogs only got a very short walk this morning. Finding sitting down and standing up most wince inducing!!! Not taking any pain killers incase this masks a temp spike. Oh , well we have to soldier on I suppose. Was going to a point to point with a friend today to see a horse she once had run but thought better not.
Instead having a lazy day with DS (he's 24 by the way, and I am 49 too), we are going to my parents shortly to have Sunday lunch. They love to see him and spoil him rotten when he is home. My mum has done all his washing and ironing and made him a cake to take back to Bristol with him. He has just seen me in my wig for the first time and was v. complimentary. Lovely boy.
Hope you are all having lovely lazy Sundays too.
Quiet on here this morning, hopefully it means everyone having a good lie in.
I do hoe that Linda and Herbi are feeling better. I feel pretty ill with FECC for 5-6 days, but it sounds like TAC worse.As I was so sick with my first FECC I was given domperidone suppositories rather than tablets this time, and although it is not my favorite way of taking medicines it was better. Why not ask for them Linda next time?
Lulu, you have probably had it by the sounds of it, but there is something called rectogesic that works quite well for fissures, you could ask your Gp if not had it.
Debbie- I DO hope you are feeling better. My booklet also says x2 temps of >37.5 1 hour apart or x1 of >38.0 before calling unit, or if no temp but feeling really unwell. Hope temp better this morning and that you are having a great weekend with your son. How old is he? I have a 22yr old son, he's still at home, but my 20yrold daughter is away at Uni in Cardiff. It is my good, pre chemo weekend next weekend and we are going to drive and see her for a night, I can't wait. I am also given GCSF by my unit, or something similar. I have to self inject it >24hrs after chemo. It hurts and I dread doing it. Tried to persuade my other half to do it but he wouldn't!!
Chritine, you are quiet, hope this means you are having a good weekend.
Debbie and KTF enjoy your session this wednesday, I have been trying to use my make up so I don't look quite so scary! It all seems so surreal sometimes when I look in the mirror. I can't believe that this bald, boobless woman who looks like she has come out of R. Dahl's "The Witches" is me; whereas 3 months ago I looked quite good for 49yrs ! Still the make up helps with some sort of transformation.
Colette- your hair cuts like sound like my scalp, all of the hair gone from the front, but quite moth eaten at the back still- good look I think not! Was it a dream or a nightmare? I have to say with some people and the comments they say I would quite enjoy cutting their hair like mine too. LOL!!
Day 12 - good day yesterday, but quite tired today. Off out for a walk later. At least , like you Debbie, taste buds coming back, but still yucky taste in mouth and my mouth is all rough and tongue sore.
Take care all you DDs, any one having chemo this week, or is next round 9/10 days away like mine?
Love Fiona xx
Just popped into see how your temp is today Debbie?
Aw Herbi, so sorry to hear you feeling so poorly. Sending you a hug, hope everyone giving you some TLC? I'm on FEC rather than TAC, reading posts it does seem the se's are gentler on FEC. Sorry you Tac ladies are feeling it. As KTF (sorry, sounds kinda rude but I don't know your real name.)said they may need to tailor it for you if things are too difficult xx
Linda H I hope the sickness is wearing off for you too?
Kathleen any news on the house front?
Fiona I too am having the strangest dreams! but in mine I still have only 1 boob and no hair. A few nights ago I had a queue of people waiting for me to cut their hair (no I am not a hairdressers) and I gave them all bald patches, then advised them on how to cover them up!! Lol.
Hope you all have a restful Sunday xx
I have been a bit shy and have just been following all your stories but thought it would be good for me to join in on the Dec gang. Im 35 with two kids 3 years and a 9 months old. I had a WLE and lymph node removal (2/13 positive). Im on TAC chemo and I have had 2 already (third of the way there!). SE for me on this cycle have been sore arm/veins, nausea, constipation. Over the last few days I have got the sniffles and a dry cough which is NOT good. Temp is ok and I am on 2 different antibiotics to keep it at bay but it isnt nice. I have picked it up from my little boy so there isnt any getting away from him.
Just want it to go so I can get my bloods back to normal for number 3 a week on Thur!!
Love S xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Herbi, just wanted to send you some big hugs, sounds like you need some. TAC is horrid, I was the same - first cycle not too bad, second a bit worse, just felt so ill all the time. After the third they switched me to FEC. But keep your chin up, hopefully it will just be for a few more days and then you'll feel better.
Debbie hope that temperature is behaving itself - can't believe they didn't give you GCSF - sometimes I just think they forget!
Hope ur temperature settled Debbie. I have had the worst day, feeling so, so ill. Not sure I can handle 4 more of these, just feel horrendous, and that is even with taking Emmend.
Thanks for the reassurance girls. Am noting down temp & will call if it goes over 37.5. Am really cross that they didn't give me gcssf or any abs just in case. Will try to insist on them next time. Apart from sore botty have no other symptoms - no shivers or shakes etc so fingers crossed. Am determined to make it to LGFB.
My opinion is the same as Colette. Keep checking, Debs and only ring if over 37.5. 37.1 is within normal limits so don't worry too much, are you having GCSF this cycle? Now don't go getting poorly I need you on Wednesday!! In the meantime enjoy your time with ds
My unit says ring if 38. If 37.5 retake in an hour and if after 3times not going down then ring. If you are at all worried I would ring considering last time, just to reassure yourself if nothing else!
Glad your son is with you
Seems like quite a few of us are starting to feel the se's a little more this time round. I feel much better and taste buds are back to normal but my bottom is playing up again. I had external piles which flared up last cycle when I was neutropenic and, I think, were probably at the root of my infection. They have flared up again, linked to being pre-menstrual I think and are quite painful today. I have put on my scheriproct cream but my temp has gone up to 37.1 (its usually about 36.8). Debating whether to call my unit or not. Really don't want to be admitted again especially as lovley son is home this weekend. May give it til the morning unless temp goes any higher. The advice given on my leaflet is to call if it goes above 37.5. Hmmm.... any advice?
I have an anal fissure it's a bit like a paper cut on your bum and can bleed and be sore whether constopaed or not. I am on regular laxatives but if i get constipated it sets it off again for a few weeks even Benz when I pee sometimes especially on Chemo as it sprays every where. I have had various types of cream but nothing makes it go away for ever. It just comes and goes. It does feel like razor blades and has been so painful in the past its actually made me scream out and cry. But touch wood it not been lie that for a long time. Iv had this since my first diGnosis 6 years ago but I think you can have an op to help but I'm not a big surgery fan. It maybe nothing like that at all that you have but might ve worth asking your doc.
Take care xxx
I had my 3 x FEC yesterday after the one week delay as my blood cells were back to normal. I suppose it had to happen as I've sailed through so far relatively easy with the SE's. I started being sick last night about 10 pm and have been sick all night and morning (12 times!). I have never been a sicky person (didn't suffer in my pregnancies) so this is all a bit of a shock! I took my anti sickness tablets about 1/4 to 6 this morning and was sick after 15 minutes. I spoke to the hospital who advised to take 2 more with a sip of water and I managed to keep them down and wasn't sick again for an hour. Starting to feel a bit better now. I managed a slice of dry toast and a cup of tea about an hour ago and have kept it down. Hopefully I've turned the corner!!
Interesting to read so many of you are suffering going to the toilet. I started to get sore/slight blood on tissue paper about 5 weeks ago even though I wasn't constipated. I went to the doctors about 2 weeks ago who gave me steroid suppositeries for 12 days and they haven't helped at all. It really is like passing razor blades!! He told me to wait a week after finishing them before going back as it could be piles. (I dont think its piles.) I'll ask for some of that cream you mentioned hopefully that will make things easier.
Hope everyone is feeling ok.
Linda H xx
Indeed herbi last night was so quiet I didn't want to disturb the silence when I looked in! Full of antibiotics and hoping neuts ad back up by Tuesday so I can get on with FEC 3. Hope your SEs are settling down today.
Having non-cancer-related nerves this morning waiting for news that our home in France is finally sold after agreeing in July! Must seem a trivial worry but I cleared that house in September with a 5cm "cyst" in my breast and I really need to be rid of it so we can try to find a home of our own after two unsettled and nomadic years in Belfast. If the lawyer doesn't email soon I may have the mother of all meltdowns!
Hope everyone else is having a peaceful weekend,
Hello all, very quiet on here this evening so I hope that means everyone is feeling good and having a relaxing evening. I,m feeling terrible after my second TAC, last time had a good day first but everything seems to have kicked in straight away this time, yuck taste, sore eyes, very tired, and very nauseous. Four more to go seems like a long haul.
Fiona, dreaming is good though mine are a bit odd sometimes these days, but I am always fit and whole in them, not this tatty, bald, scarred person who stares back at me now from the mirror, but maybe that would be too scary to see in a dream - ha ha!
Herbi sorry to hear you found second FECC worse. I also had emend for nausea ( plus dexa, odansatron type drug and domperidone suppositories!), and wasn't actually sick this time just felt nauseated. Emend definietly makes you more tired, but it only lasted a few days and generally both I and my OH think I've been better with second ratherthan first FECC.
Hopefully in a few days you will feel better.I actually managed 2 hour country walk followed by pub lunch today! Helped beat my day 10 blues!
Woke up this morning and realised I love dreaming still as in my dreams I still don't have cancer and have a left boob and hair, odd isn't it? LOL!!!
Take care all, have a great weekend if you can.
Oh dear Herbie not such a good start. You're so right about the drugs for SE's which cause more Se's. I think I will refuse anti sickness when on Tax. They give me a very bad tummy (not cement anymore, but despite much softer coming out there was blood and more than yesterday. Got Sheriproct cream last night and putting this on and hope for healing "down there" and certainly will not have this undone by stupid anti sickness tbl. I think I rather be sick in actual fact.
I'm in a rush now, visit this said friend in an hour, not dressed yet, no breakfast yet. I'm a bit a lastminute.com.
just checking in after second TAC today. had to go down to hospital early as i'm on a trial and they wanted extra blood, so left house by 8 for wet 50 min rush hour drive to hospital; they took for lots of blood, then someone asked where my pre chemo bloods were and it turns out they should have taken them wheni was in monday but didn't. Another blood test, same arm, wait an hour and a half, grr.Bloods came back ok, gave me emmend, more waiting then eventually got TAC done after two goes at finding a vein, but gave me dreadful headache half way through this time.Then the trial lady came and stabbed in the stomach, and neulasta injection tomorrow so i feel like a pin cushion! Where as se's took a couple of days last time, tonight not feeling too good.I feel SO bloated despite not eating much and nauseous, i'm guessing this might be the emmend and wondering if anyone else has had this? Also feel very tired despite steroids. I hate this whole thing of they give you something to make you feel better about one se but that gives you a diiferent one.
hey ho, glad everyone else seems perky ( apart from bowel probs - i have yet to enjoy those!!)
Take care all
PS . new nearly hairless profile pic!
Just checking in to see what's new and very glad I did. Thank you Debbie for the warning about suppositories - my solution of choice for years but since I'm slowly coming out of neutropenia I would need to avoid them right now. Sadly my coeliac-damaged innards laugh in the face of all but megadoses of Movicol so I'll just go vegetarian for a few days.
My worst 'down' day to date was day 3 post FEC2 - I alternated between snivelling wretch and screaming harridan and a lovely New Year's Eve was had by all! On the positive side, I seem to have dodged the day 10 blues both times.
Discovered later that steroid psychosis can cause body dysmorphia. Ah that explains why I looked at my MX scar and remaining strands of hair and thought of the witches in Macbeth. Still can't bring myself to shave off those brave hairs that have resisted chemo even though they look bizarre. Has anyone else hung on to theirs or am I alone in my madness.
Where else would you ever discuss bowel and bottom problems with people you have just met? I love this forum!
Have as good an evening as you can and sleep tight new friends.
Feeling better today, kind of mellow but not down like yesterday. Appreciating the little things - like contact (albeit by phone) with loved ones, nice tasting food, a warm bath, cosy bed, a hubby who keeps assuring me I’m beautiful even with a bald head(!), etc...
Thanks Kathleen, Fiona, Herbi and Christine particularly for your comments – it does help to know we’re not alone and reading some of the recent posts it seems I’m certainly not unique in the day 9/10 blues.
This website certainly is a lifeline, especially for those of us who are so far away from our families – can feel quite isolated. Hope when all this is done that maybe I can move nearer them again – that’s my plan!
Hope your chemo went well today Herbi and hope all you other ladies are doing well,
Love to all, Grace x
Christine - I really sympathise as I have similar problems 'down below' there is nothing worse, its like passing razor blades sometimes!! Ouch. Its definately a time when I wish I had a bidet. My doctor prescribed an ointment called sheriproct which worked very well but said not to use suppositories or put ointment internally when neutropenic as can cause infection. 1hope your ointment solves the problem. Just one more horrid se eh?
I'm day 10 tomorrow too. After having such an up day yesterday today was a bit more of a downer. Woke up with a migraine and think I am pre-menstual, just to add to the mix. Really looking forward to LGFB next week and meeting up with KTF/Teresa so that will keep me going.
Happy evening everyone. Just going to finish of the apple and ginger pudding from last night LOL.
Fiona day 10 a blue day very much so. Day 10 after 2nd FEC I had bad headaches, wanted to meet up with friend to walk dogs, but ended up cancelling and going to bed, crying and eventually falling asleep. Ahem, tomorrow is my day 10 again. I visit a customer who has secondary breast cancer to bone, brain and lung. She's not a well woman, but it cheers her when I go and see her and it's nice to meet her and have a chat.
I sopke to GP, he faxes a prescription through to pharmacy for an ointment, it has some anestetic and steroids in it, should heal it, hopefully. I'm not constipated anymore, but everytime I go to the loo it's so sore and some blood. Sorry for being descriptive, hope no-one is having dinner reading this LOL.
Nice to hear the positive stories, have to say I have felt more low the last 24hrs. Read an article on how invasive lobular has often spread even if LN clear and it got to me, even though I knew it already which is why I'm having chemo!!
Come up with the conclusion that day 9-10 post chemo is a "blue" day as I think I had it too last time, anyone else finding this?
Hope Herbi and everyone else having chemo today don't find the SE too bad.
Off for a walk with friends tomorrow and pub lunch to beat the Day 10 blues!!
Christine- ask for movicol,( Uniroid or similar for the other!) I agree a pain of a side SE! (pun there)And you are never boring!
Love Fiona xx
Also like the positive stories. I felt morbide yesterday with all wrong thoughts going on in my head (inbetween sleeping most of day and night lol). Probably just feeling very sorry for myself. Today is a different story; positive all the way.
Love Anne x
Thank you for all the positive stories - they are very important to know about, for all of us, I guess. We are still facing a long hard road and we do need some feeling that we will get positive outcomes at the end.
Christine, I asked about the difference between FEC and EC, and was told that clinical trials had shown no discernible difference when the F was included - ie that EC had as good results as FEC, and thus my oncology institute no longer uses FEC. Hope that sets your mind at rest - no difference.
Beautiful sunny day, big Yorkshire skies from our windows - doesn't light make a difference?
Hugs all round.
Hi December ladies
Christine - Just read your post, and wanted to say that I'll be having same - Mx and full node clearance. (March 2nd ) I had SNLB and 1 of the 2 had macrometastes in it. Not sure, obviously how many others infected but will know after surgery (but only if traces of scarring, as hopefully chemo will have eradicated the b****s!) With me too there was an excellent result from half-way inspection so let's hope for the best.
Also you've probably got piles from straining with the constipation (I have them too!) - I find the suppositories very effective, you just pop one in every night and when you do manage to go!
Gingermithy Debbie and I are going to LGFB next week - I'm not much of a make-up girl, will probably pass most on to dd!!
Onwards and upwards everyone!!
PS Lulu, glad the nodes aren't so scary, I've been worried sick about mine, but my Mum told me her friend now cancer free for 10 yrs had 23/24 affected.