Debbie it was you I missed! What an energetic day. I think you're entitled to sleep until nine if you get up to all that afterwards (pace the cross-legged dogs). Could send my OH for flower arranging - he always comes in proudly bearing a beautifully arranged vase and announces 'I'm sooo gay' - NOT pc my man.
Fi, a church wedding after cabbage soup diet sounds like a script for a Catherine Tate sketch.
Count me in for the sponsored slim, ladies. On Tamoxifen I'll probably need to do it for years.
I'll be in on that one... Sponsored weight loss sounds more possible than Fi's 10k yomp! Need to lose lard before i could contemplate it. GREAT idea to look forward.
FED UP with this secondary/ recurrence haunting and I MUST make it GO!!!
Herbi. Veg box exerts a definite tyranny on my life. We have a medium one for two of us because we always eat loads of veg. I am certain that it is way more pricey than Sainsbury organic, but a bit more seasonal.
Spend a fair amount of time inventing or searching out interesting ways of cooking stuff like swede, beetroot, fennel etc....but at the moment it gives me something to do.
Sorry I have ignored everyone else, although I have read your posts. LOL at Kathleen in corsets and poor Fi having to inject herself..
Fighting off demons just now.Last night's chat and a post on the Jan thread tipped me over the edge for a bit...
Christine. You cannot go down this route. Not broken....just covered in Superglue which is stickier than you expected.
Love catherine xxx
I am staying away from cabbage, that's for sure. Have enough problems as it is.
Did any of you ever try the cabbage soup diet? It is 'OK' for a few days but by day three you wish that cabbage soup was somewhere where the sun was not shining....
Gingersmithy, what a great idea about a sponsored slimming to benefit BCC! I am in!
Gardening! Now have gardening envy...
Have had quite a busy day. Sunny here this morning so I managed to get a bit more gardening done and at last got round to sowing 3/4 of my wild flower border. Hopefully will finish it off tomorrw. Met a friend in the local garden centre for coffee and a bit of shopping then went home and sowed lots of seeds in the greenhouse. Shattered now though.
I am lucky in that I rarely have trouble sleeping. My main trouble at the moment is not waking up til 9am. The dogs are crossing their legs when I get downstairs.
Got to be up earlier tomorrow tho' because I have to do a flower arrangement in church. That is going to be a bit of a challenge as bunging flowers in a vase is about as close to arranging as I normally get.
Herbi, your caluiflower story made me smile. I keep buying stuff just in case I fancy it and then it ends up in the bottom of the fridge festering for weeks. Have gone right off fruit since being on tax. I want normal taste buds again so that I can enjoy a healthy diet.
My next chemo is delayed because of the Easter holiday. I can't wait to get that last one done and get my gold star but I am not looking forward to those horrid se's. I think that we are all amazing for getting through this and its not surprising that we are all mightily FED UP by now. Those that still have surgery to come also have another major hurdle to cross.
Christine, I'm sure that it is your impending MX that is making you blue. cyber hugs and prayers coming your way.
Catherine and Grace, hope you enjoy your anniversaries as much as is possible right now.
Fi, I am in for the DDs great weight loss challenge when we are all finished with treatment. Perhaps we could get sponsored and give the money to BCC?
Kathleen, hope you have a great day with the little ones. I still but my big boy an easter egg.
Brain is starting to shut down now and bed is calling. Sorry if I have missed anyone.
Love to all,
Fi, glad I reminded you of Neulasta - brave you to self-administer!
Julianna that link is inspiring me to eat nothing but soup for the next fortnight. How did women wear those things? I can just see my fat rear end emerging from under the bottom edge in a great white unsightly splodge. Where did I hide my trainers?
Thanks Julianna- what I needed, made me chuckle. If your sofa was nearer I'd come and join you and your dairy products!
Kathleen, of course we know where to buy corsets!
They do look a tad uncomfortable though....
Here I am again, with my bloating. I think it might be dairy that is causing it - don't know what I'll do without my ice cream and cheese! I live on that in my second raw mouth week!
Herbie, green grocer obviously does not realize what a serious thing food shopping is when you have no appetite whatsoever. I am not suffering from this - quite the opposite, I visit the fridge so often I have to be careful on my low immune week I don't catch a cold!
Truth be told, I am not so much low as FED UP. If anyone want to join me on the FED UP sofa (I've been spending so much time on it, I've upgraded the bench) there is plenty space!
Secondaries - our worst nightmare, even though at the moment I am not worried about it. Much. I think this is due to the chemo 'comfort' blanket. We shall see what happens after the last one in 3 weeks time. But I know one thing: I was very, very naive about cancer before this. When I was diagnosed I was planning my funeral. Pretty much. But now I KNOW that even if I get secondaries, and chances are I won't, it is not an automatic death sentence. I've read enough of the secondaries threads to know that there are a lot of women out there who live a full and long life with mets!
Kathleen is right - we are battered but not broken. I look in the mirror and an old bloated bald woman looks back at me - who the heck is she and what has she done with me? But there will a morning when I look in the mirror and I will see ME. And so will you..!
Having wind problems again - oh the treatment that just keeps of giving!
Had an alright day. Managed a little walk, ES came with me but he was a little dot in the distance as I was so slow. I hate the way my energy is being sapped. so used to being a whirling dervish though Oh says I was a dizzy kipper at times.
Neulasta injection done as aches will start Sunday.
I can here my bed calling me but determined to stay up till 10pm.
Kathleen, I'm like you, steriods have little effect on me now. Used to like the buzz as i got all my housework done now it is just left. I don't mind sleeping through SE's but the sleepiness just goes on and on.
Christine, I'm sure it is the impending mx that is making you so downI have had to stop reading secondaries threads as they were really having a bad effect on my thoughts. I will read them if I secondaries.
Herbie, I had the same dilema with a cauli, I wanted to do cauliflower cheese but they all looked awful, dry and very unappealing so put it back. I do think myself stareing at things in the shops then walking away at a snails pace. I often wonder what people must think.
Grace, 28 years with the same man. You must get along well by now. It will be my 25th in August but have been together for over 30! had usual rough patches but I would be lost without him.
Thanks Kathleen I had totally forgotten my Neulasta, got to go and self inject it now- gulp!!
Christine- I think we are all feeling low. We all looked forward to finishing chemo and now it is here it is an anti climax as we still fel awful, and we are all fed up with our unflattering new appearances that is a constant rreminder of what we are going through.
Big Hugs .
Evening DDs, and Jan threads,
Sue- are you talking food again? The chorizo & potatoes sound good Julianna, and it is down to you Sue that I still have choccie philadelphia in my fridge and now Choc magnums- no point, taste buds gone awol already.
Sorry girls- Day 2 post LAST tax and mega fed up and tearful- I'll come join you Julianna on the fed up bench. Ridiculous with last bonebut SE started more quicly that last 2. Nauseated, ache all over, esp knees, and depressed.It must be the tax doing it to us. No 20 mile yomps today Catherine!! We know the SEs are coming, why does it bug us?
Grace- Happy 28th Anniversary, there myself in August. Quite an achievement these days well done. Sorry you cannot celebrate it as you should be, but hope you have a nice visit from your friends. I'm in PJs too now, rare for me- feel I look sh**!!
Sam - before I forget well done, a major milestone that only peeps on here really appreciate. You should join us more- I could not have done it without this great bunch, See all soppy post Tax too!!
I think when we are low and fed up we pick up on the bad stories, and as you say Catherine forget all the people getting on with there life post BC.Kym, that is not forgetting what a terrible time you have had recently with your cousin. I hope if I am ever in her situation I can be the same. I quite the "love actually" photo clips myself at the end!!
I love reading too but concentration rock bottom at present!
Julianna- you and Sue will definitely hit it off when we meet- are you coming, I hope so? You need to do a food blog you two! LOL!
Sue- I like the gold star idea, anything that acknowledges our achievements. My neighbour is a breast surgeon and at the start of all this he said Fi BC is just like any chronic disease if it has spread, it can be controlled for years. I still just hope that the 40% chance of spread has been splatted!!
Mujum- Are you sure your OH has not being hitting you in secret? I just think we are all quite delcate and fragile at present. Glad the seroma is reducing.
Kym- Chocolate soundsgood- I can still taste sweet, hidesthe awful salty taste. How can you and Anne sleep with all those steroids, dead jealous.
Christine- serious talking to needed here. 1) If your BMI is 23 you do NOT need to lose weight. 21-24.5 in normalish, this is NOT a time to become underweight!! 2)No such thoughts of "if I don't wake up it will be for the best". Just think of all the people who would be devistated, your OH, friends and family- let alone us. I'm hoping we all be here for 10 and 20yr reunions on the London Eye. Now there is achallenge!
Herbi= you sound good, I'm not into veggie boxes yet, don't even buy organic at supermarket! I might cahnge. I agree with you and Catherine- No bank holiday feel at all. Feel really cheated out of life at present! We all are.
Catherine- Happy Anniversary tomorrow, how your life has changed in1 year! I think we are all very scared deep down, even on the surface, but I am assured by other ladies who have been here that it will get better.
Colette- Hopefully you are having a great BH weekend.
Linda - hope SE not too bad.
Sorry to anyone I've missed- just too shattered!
Christine, warm hugs. We are battered but NOT broken. This will get better, I promise. Your DDs will always be here for the hard times.
Re secondaries threads, I read them way too much!!! I think I need to restrict myself as I just seem to "know" I'll be joining them in due course :(. 10 year meet up at the london eye ... makes me sad to think of it, can't even think five years ahead.
Sorry to be so doom and gloom, must be that dreaded MX looming over my head.
A customer wrote me a card yesterday and I phoned her today and she said she can't wait that I get back to grooming again, the groomer she uses just now for her Westie is not good at all. She said she is thinking a lot of me. How nice of her. They have not forgotten me.
Back from the Indian I didn't enjoy. my husband looked at me tonight and said I look broken and I thought he is right, as I feel broken. All week I feel down :(. Haven't cried so much since intial DX as this week. I don't know, I feel lost, not scared, never angry, but just find it hard to deal with all this cancer. I look in the mirror and see a different person, i'm tired of looking at me with no hair. I keep thinking a few months ago I had no idea this was round the corner and seem to struggle to come to terms with it all. On the other hand I know my God is in control and it's alright whatever is in store for me, I'm not alone.
Indian, i had Tandoori, dry as a cork, i love gravy and wet food, there was a minty yogurt sauce with it which was nice, but i kept spooning some gravy from my husband's curry over my rice. I ate little and still felt a bit hungry when we left. My husband invitet his two brothers as well, which annoyed me a bit. But never mind, they all enjoyed themselves, despite my miserable face LOL.
In Germany we love eating hungarian goulash, I love it with rice or pasta, I'm not a potato fan, grew up on pasta a lot as I'm from south Germany and we eat loads of pasta there and less potatos. In north Germany they eat a lot more potatos. Sorry, who cares, eh??
Tomorrow my Dutch sister in law is coming to stay, she doesn't like coming back, but her husband (my husband's brother) got a job here and so they move from Holland back to Scotland. i look forward having her back, we get on really well.
Love to you all,
Good evening DDs,
Have been eating all day - well hoovering food would be a better description - and I have two weeks to get in shape for my skinny wedding outfit. Anyone know where I can get a Victorian corset?
Everyone seems down today. I think it must be a combination of watching the rest of the world getting ready for the first big holiday of the year and the problems that came up on Livechat (glad I missed it).
I have to admit I often read the secondaries posts just to prepare myself for the worst if it happens. There are so many women there getting on with staying alive. We couldn't face any more treatment right now and I think that's what disturbs us. Let's get on with getting well, girls. That's what our treatment is giving to us.
Christine, of course there is a temptation to want to go to sleep and not wake up again in this world but our work here isn't over yet, my girl. We don't get out that easily.
Mujum, hope the seroma continues to improve. The eye bruise may well be from anti-coagulant. Hope all settles soon. Of course you're still tired. Just rest when you need to. Chemo had barely cleared your system when you had your surgery so you are still being hit by a double whammy.
Kym, such a sad time for you. You are so right in saying that we are lucky to have something that can be treated. However unpleasant our SE we know they are worth suffering.
Catherine, did you sort out the food for your anniversary dinner? It's not the best way to celebrate your first but there WILL be many better ones. December Darlings are tough cookies. We'll have our ten-year meet-up on the London Eye, grey-haired and disgraceful the lot of us!
Herbi, hope you've decided to lie low with the family and see the parents when you are feeling more energetic. We are training ourselves to put us first for a while.
Fi, has the tax truck arrived? FEC just leaves me wobbly and nauseous while Neulasta gives me small roaming pains in the bones. Tax sounds pretty tough. Even steroids don't keep me awake and now don't give me the energy surge they did at first. Hope you feel a bit better for the weekend. Are your beautiful offspring still at home?
Julianna, I can't believe you are feeling down. You are always so bubbly here. I think the chemo must be cumulatively depressive. I felt foul even before I got chemo this week and I'm not looking forward to steroids wearing off tomorrow.
Colette, where are you? Did late facebook chat wear you out? Hope SEs aren't too awful. You and I are the only ones on FECx6.
Anne, I hope you're not having too bad a day and that all went well for you with children taking care of mum for a change.
Sue, angry is probably better than low, so keep on being cross if you can and pass some indignation on to the rest of us. You sound as hungry as I am! No thought of healthy eating until I get past chemo SEs . Then my OH will be tormented by my pickiness. He's had a field day feeding the hungry horse but with Tamoxifen weight gain looming next i'm heading towards veggie eating from now on. This will kill my caveman.
Linda, hope you are feeling ok today.
Grace, would frozen yoghurt or sorbet be better than ice-cream or are they too acidic for your mouth? Lucky woman to have a man who'll massage your feet. If the cramp doesn't go you might give your helpline a call. I know I worried about a clot when mine was bad a few cycles ago and it does no harm to check. My foot went into an odd position a few times too. It turned out to be nothing but the clinic made me come down for a check anyway, Just take care.
If I've forgotten anyone, it's not so much chemo brain as my stomach taking all the blood supply away from my brain.
Have as good an Easter weekend as possible. I still have enough immunity to take a visit from all the tinies and give them their Easter eggs.
Love and hugs to everyone,
Talking of food, spent ages looking at a cauliflower in tesco this afternoon trying to decide whether I was likely
to feel like eating it at any point in he coming week, when I eventually put it back the fruit and veg man gave me a very strange look,.. I must have looked like a right weirdo staring at a cauliflower!
Love the sound of goulashy potatoes - I have a length of scrummy chorizo in the cupboard! But don't know that just potatoes qualify on their own!
Think I'm still too angry to be fed up, although yes, I'm fed up too when I think about it. Fed up is good, and yes, why shouldn't we be fed up - think they inject us with fed up bugs just to add to the misery!
Gosh Grace, 28 years, how wonderful - i'll make 8 this August! Hope the trots leave you soon, I've not had that problem although I am 'softer' than usual and have has a little irritation at the entrance/exit, oh how coy, tmi lol.
Moussaka was gorgeous, so I am told, all I could get was the cinnamon coming through.
Are we on food again, bliss, I love food!
Happy Anniversary Grace! 28 years! My my....
I managed to cook - took forever to peel the potatoes but it's cooking now. Making some comfort food from my childhood - it is very plain, potatoes in a goulashy sauce. It's usually done with some chirozo type sausages but don't fancy that. So, just potatoes... 🙂
Ahh Julianna – I’m sure you’re right about FED UP being a SE of Tax - hope you found something nice to eat.xx
Thanks for anniversary wishes girls – much appreciated.
Anne – it’s 28 years............ don’t know how he’s put up with me! But I’m pleased he has. Yes, we all have celebrations of various kinds to look forward to. It’s brilliant that you sleep so well, and just 1 loo visit? Hope you enjoyed your walk.
Did manage to get dressed briefly earlier, but then after a fairly bland and difficult to eat lunch retreated back to bed for a few hours and reckon I’ll be remaining in pyjamas for the rest of the day. But hoping that today is my last PJ day....
Ice cream is the only thing that is soothing my mouth at the moment, but it’s tasting fairly sickly... must keep reminding myself, this is the LAST time I have to go through this!!
Catherine, I find it hard reading and hearing secondary stories, and it usually seems to be just when I’ve got my head back into a good frame of mind, starting all the what ifs off again. I guess we’re all the same in that.
Herbi, yes sun been shining here too, such a shame I daren’t venture out today, (even if I were feeling up to it); without going into detail there has been good reason for me to stay very near to a bathroom! And I keep getting cramp in my foot – really wierd, makes the toes go into a very strange shape and I have to call hubby to come and massage them for me.
Kym, so sorry to hear about your cousin. Seems there are just constant reminders around us as to how fragile life can be. X
Christine – hope you enjoy the Indian!
Mujum – you sound like an avid reader; I like reading, though not so much fiction, but don’t have the concentration for it at the moment. I saw the guy who wrote that book being interviewed, with his cat(!) on Breakfast a week or so ago, sounds very inspirational.
Sue, well done on getting through no5 – and hoping you get some good rest tonight.
Fi – hope you’re doing ok today and the post session SEs aren’t too bad for you. X
Love to you all and everyone not mentioned too – Grace xx
Another one who is a bit 'down under'. Trying to think of something (besides eating!) to entertain myself.... Nothing appeals, I have to say.
Mujum, did you manage to hook up with someone in the same situation as you and talk?
I am fed up with this whole thing - have moved to the FED UP bench making room on the Tax avoidance bench. Now I think FED UP is a side effect of Tax - I've never been so much fed up in my life and I KNOW that there is no point in being fed up, just have buckle down and endure it.
I'll go eat something I guess ...
Lol Catherine, I think we all deserve gold stars, I love gold stars!
Ooh, Trago Mill Herbie, been years since I've been there! Did you buy anything?
I got the laurel to plant in competition to next door conifer which is a blight on my landscape because it's difficult to get anything to grow in its shade. Fingers crossed I've chosen well.
I think we are now firmly rooted in the camp of bc women, I can never see us returning to the camp of non bc suffers. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, but we will always be different and our world view will be as a bc woman. It's not like we have a choice is it.
Fi, I must have missed you! I went to bed about 11:30, but got up two hours later as I was wide awake. Stayed up till about four, then lay awake till 7:30 when I got up for hospital. Think I may have managed an hours sleep - so tired!
Happy anniversary Grace, you today, Catherine tomorrow!
Well done with the sorting out, I keep threatening to do this as we were planning on moving house, but with bc we are staying put for the foreseeable.
Well done you on getting some sleep!
Well done Sam! The last one has a certain ring to it doesn't it!
Catherine, we are human, of course we are scared! But, these reoccurrences can be controlled should the worst happen. I torture myself thinking I may have to endure three weekly Herceptin injections forever! No more my life if that happens, everything will be changed:( But, we are going to do everything we can to ensure that that doesn't happen, we will beat this! Herbie said so, and that's good enough for me!
Veg box envy!
Tandoori sound a good healthy choice Christine! Is it Wednesday you go for Mx?
Think we can manage project shift the lard on here, we can share recipes, ideas, and hold virtual weigh ins - and no cheating girlies:) think it will be quite theraputic to do it together.
Live chat doesnt support iPad does it Fairy, so like you I reverted to my NetBook, but it's odd using it as so used to iPad. But, I believe the iPad app does chat like on your iPhone, but I prefer access through safari.
I've done the Three Peaks, just not on the same day. What an amazing lady your cuz was, and yes, compared to the lack of treatment for her, we are fortunate. We must never lose sight of that, we are lucky, and we must use that luck and fight this, and win.
Our emotions are all over the place aren't they, tis no surprise though because we are being poisoned. But, Catherine has given us all shiny gold stars, so we are tops.
This is a real rollercoaster isn't it Mujum, and a bruise under your eye! Is there no end! Good to hear the seroma is sorting itself out.
Books always cheer me up, although I must confess that most of my latest purchases have been bc related, healthy eating for cancer and cookery books! Poor old Kindle doesn't get picked up much though!
Well number 5 TAX /Herceptin all done and dusted. Very tired due to barely sleeping last night, but feel good one more done and dusted, so just one more to go.
Cannula was a breeze thanks to Dr Julianna making an offering to the god of cannulas!
Water water and yet more water is the order of the next days!
I sympathise with the down time, having one myself - I am sure it's the grey day and lack of sunshine - not to mention our shared little problem of course.
Super to know that the chemo course (?curse) is over some more of us - yes, it will be scary to be without treatment for those not still facing surgery. But a good landmark and general well being will begin to improve once this lot of SEs wears off. It all takes time though.
I awoke this morning with a damn big bruise under one eye, and am sure that neither I nor OH banged it during the night. Maybe it's a SE from blood-thinning injections after mastectomy last week, although strange so long after. Could do without yet another blow to my general appearance! Seroma still there, although I feel it's beginning to recede slowly.
Also still feeling quite tired and listless. A friend sent me book "A Streetcat called Bob" which I have read already, and then followed up with facebook videos - nice story, shows how people can climb out of bad situations - and Bob is a lovely ginger moggie. But I could do with some more books - will ask OH to take me out to charity shops tomorrow to get some. I am so bored that I might even go into my office and clear up some of the mess which has been accumulating since before Dx. How sad is that?
Love to all - hope you are doing something more meaningful and enjoyable!
Happy Anniversary Grace! x and well done Sam on your last chemo!
Yes, managed to get onto live chat last night, after 3rd weekl attempt, but I'd been trying to get on via iPad, so used normal computer and had no problem! Doh! But sooooo fast, lol, so didn't contribute much at all!! I was last one off coz I didn't know how to get off, lol.
SEs starting to kick in, but really hoping (as I do everytime), that THIS time won't be so bad. BBBM is starting off slowly with my knees. Still, only one more to go. But I'm feeling like Catherine and Herbi, really quite down, lethargic . . . etc. I know I can't have it, but I want my life back yo how it was before all this. I feel bad that it's blighted my family's lives. Then I feel selfish coz my cousin was buried yesterday. She had been training for the Three Peaks and just happened to rub her groin when she found the lump last November. Apparently, she took it all in her stride and organised her own funeral. Oh, I'm not sure I should be even writing this, I'm sorry. But we ALL have a great chance of recovery, they could give my cousin nothing, and I have to remember that I and we are being given everything. It's a miserably dull day, affects my moods, bring out the sun!!! 🙂 but you're right Catherine, recurrence stories don't help (especially if you're feeling down already), and most people who have had BC and are now back to living full lives don't come back onto these forums.
oh dear, I'm normally so positive, it's just one of those days! OH has taken son out for a spot of retail therapy, daughter down on farm with her mates and horses, I've been told to rest up in bed and relax - so why do I hate it and feel I'm missing out on something exciting, even tho I know I'm not?? Hmm, been trying to be good last few days after putting on weight, but think I may and have to go and hunt out some chocolate, lol!
Anne, steroids don't seem to affect my sleep either - I only had restless nights after the first lot of chemo.
Ah well, let's see what's on tv . . . Happy Easter everyone. Apologies for such a messy post.
Good Afternoon girlies 🙂
I wrote a lengthy post this morning already, but the postman rang the bell which gave me a fright, slammed the laptop shut (why??!!) and gone it was.
Fi, at 1.30 am I was fast asleep ZZZzzzzzZZZ sorry but LOL
Herbi, i hate this lazing around too, it's difficult to get myself motivated, honestly if I wouldn't have two Springers who need their walks I would grow roots on the sofa. Have you got a Lakelan nearby? They sell Doves Farm Vitamin C as a bread raising aid as well as some dough improver product, apparently organic. I don't think it's the recepi but rather the machine or the surroundings, too cold for example? I often throw in extras like bulgar wheat (uncooked), left over potatos, oat flakes and the bread turns out great as long as I use high gluten flour.
Grace, hope you have a lovely anniversary xx
Veg box, I get mine every two weeks, it's just the two of us and it's a box size for four if taken every week. I got some beet root last week and made my first own pickled beet root. Swede is coming out my ears though!
Live chat was so busy last night as one of the girls after she left posted on the general forum that life chat is on right now and everyone streamed in LOL. I hope we could help each other and the girl that was just diagnosed the day before. It's such a frightening stage, where you only know that you have cancer but nothing else yet.
Has anyone tried slimming world? I was always a healthy BMI and still am (sits at 23 at the moment), but would love to loose another 5-6 kg and would rather join in somehwere, might help.
Wanted to go out with DH to an indian tonight, have to keep clear of creamy Korma and stick to tandoori chicken LOL, just a wee celebrations that chemo is over and that I still have two boobs for another few days, even one is not behaving itself.
Catherine, feeling down for no particular reason? All what we have gone through, it's amazing we're not on anti depressants. I have thoughts this week like "if i don't wake up next week from the general anaestetic would be the best really".
Love to all you,
Catherine - good for you still being in pj's. I feel so guilty if I hang around in them, can just feel my mothers disapproval even though she,d never know LoL! Do you mind me asking what size veg box you get and how long it lasts you? Have been thinking about getting one as want to eat a bit more organically when I can face food again but wasn't,t sure what size to go for? Do you think it,s good value compared to getting organic stuff from supermarket?
Herbi. Me too on the lethargy front. Reading a book and not yet dressed. Feeling just sort of 'down' for no particular reason. Recurrence stories don't help.
The only thing I can keep telling myself is that on this forum and in chemo wards, of course we are going to come across poor souls who are the bad statistics.And of course there are still treatments for them which is good..
Most people who have been treated for BC are up and about and living their lives without ever visiting BC forums or chemo wards!
Yesterday there was a young woman, wearing a tell tale headscarf and she was pregnant. How awful must that be?
I just wish that I didn't have to come across these stories when I am feeling so vulnerable, because it makes me SCARED! That's why it was so good to get into work I think. Made me focus my thoughts elsewhere.
I need to go and get food too. But need to see what has arrived in the veg box first.
Hope both our days get better.
Love Catherine xxx
Catherine- you,re so right about it not feeling like a bank holiday, usually love the long break but feels like everything is in limbo since starting this damn BC journey. Should be outside as sun is shining, should also go and get some food so there,s something in the house to eat but just feel SO lethargic, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!
( feeling lethargic , that is! ) . The post on the January thread worried me too, The woman I was sitting next to at chemo last week had had a recurrence just after her 5 year all clear too, seems little black clouds are never far away. But, enough of this gloomy talk, we will be better than fine, we will look this thing in the eye and shout ' I will not let you win' and we will get off are sofas and go and do that food shop!
Love to all
Happy Anniversary Grace. hope you have the sunshine in Cornwall today and that you enjoy just being together...
Anne. Hope you get that walk today. You are so like me....SLEEP. My problem is that sometimes I just need to be awake far too late. I hope the post on the Jan thread didn't panic you like it did me. I feel so sorry for her having secondaries after eight years clear. But it really made me feel even more insecure myself. Is that terribly, terribly selfish?
Fi. Hope you managed to get to sleep last night and that SEs are not too bad now. What are you doing today? something nice I hope. A 20 mile yomp perhaps????
Kathleen. Same to you (apart from the 20 mile bit). Hope you get to see your lovely grandchildren over the weekend.
It doesn't really feel like a bank holiday weekend to me. Discombobulated again....
Herbi. OK I will stop banging on about being so FAT!!! Have a lovely day if you can....
Love to everyone else...
Happy anniversary Grace. How long have you been married? At least you were able to enjoy last weekend. I feel there are many delayed celebrations to be had.
I feel ok today, just got funny taste so I expect taste buds are getting ready to leave the building. Slept really well; 11pm til 8:30 with just 1 loo visit. Steriods do not interfer with my sleep. I love my bed.
Sun out here today so a little walk is in order. Kids off now sothey are supposed to be on 'look after mum' duties while OH at work. Lol.
Thanks Kathleen, no there won’t be any celebrating today, but good to be together and looking seeing friends over weekend. Hope you’re feeling ok this morning.
Yes, hope those night owls are catching up today. xx
Well done on last chemo – You’re right, it is a big deal, only those of us who are going through it can know just how big.
Not nice knowing we still have SEs to get through, but at least it’s for the last time. I finished Tuesday – (and I am so relieved to be done with it!) and several of us are have either completed our sessions now or coming to the end. It’s been just amazing to have this thread to get us through.
All the very best to you, Grace xx
Just a quick post to say happy anniversary to Grace. I know you won't be in much of a mood for celebrating but, like us, you can always plan for a later date when you can celebrate the end of treatment as well. Have as good a day as possible.
Well done Sam on getting through chemo. It's such a good feeling to have got to the end of this phase.
Morning, Herbi. Hope you've resolved the parent visiting dilemma. Don't push yourself to do too much. It won't be long until chemo SEs are behind you and you feel more able for normal life. In the meantime, go easy.
Love and hugs to everyone - hope all the night owls are still sleeping.
i have only posted on here a few times - i had my last chemo yesterday and i just wanted to share it with you all as you all know how big a deal that is!!! feel pretty crap today but today is that first day to feeling better and more importantly my hair coming back!!!!!!!!
wishing you all well
Grace- happy anniversary today, looks like he sun may be shining for a bit, hope you can enjoy your day with friends.
Hope everyone else is doing ok,
Body clock! Thanks Herbi. So annoying when the fingers are hovering over the keyboard and the word won’t come to mind.
Ah, good ol’ Trago – don’t get to the big Liskeard one much, but pick up some useful stuff in Falmouth as necessary.
I try not to do too much shopping nowadays, (apart from food), as for the last year or so before DX I had gradually had a major clearout of all the unnecessary tat in my house and am determined not to re-fil it! Even cleared the loft that had boxes I’d not looked in for 20 years! In fact, it was only the weekend before I found the lump that I finished the clear out – sorting the final cupboard out - funny that – but nice to have got it out of the way.
But, when I’m better, I think paint will be on the shopping list again, never got round to the decorating! (Maybe I’ll get a nice man in to do it for us).
Fi – hope you managed to get some sleep.
Kym, lovely that you found your way to live chat last night too – busy tho’ wasn’t it! Hope you’re doing ok.
Well done Julianna and Catherine for sorting us out on FB chat last night – so many learning curves for some of us more technically challenged! Although I was exhausted, I think it did me good, I actually slept from about 11.45 til 6.30 – and then hubby made me a fruit tea –
Anniversary today – no big celebrations obviously, but pleased we had good weekend last weekend and all going well, SEs permitting will be seeing some good friends who are down for the weekend.
Although I’m achey and nauseaus, at the moment I feel so much better than the other cycles – I guess it’s the relief that there’s no more to come.
Sue – hope you got some sleep or else you get to snooze in the recliner today x
Love and hugs to all, Grace xx
MSN chat is about the only sort of chat I can manage, only know how to as use it to keep in touch with absent children.
Hope everyone ok this evening. Am still feeling exceptionally exhausted despite managing some sleep last night. Been out shopping today for ur interesting house things at Trago - grace will know what this means, it,s a sort of massive shop which sells everything from paint to pile cream, and an awful lot of tat besides. It,s tiring even when I have energy but at least it was ' a trip out' as my mum would say. Seem to have lost the ability to make decisions as still can,t decide whether to visit my parents this weekend, would be nice to see them but not sure I can handle the drive, but hen I feel bad for not going and so my mind goes on!
Grace - think you are right about body clock being thrown out, mine seems to have completely abandoned normal practice, I only hope tamoxifen doesn,t make it worse.
Catherine- think I am due to start rads same day as you. I have my tattoos already but they are so tiny you would have to look quite hard to see them. Please stop worrying about your weight gain, if you have managed to get through this, the will power to lose a few pounds should be no problem! Hope you manage a lovely anniversary.
Debbie - I am jealous of your friends heated greenhouse, I have always longed for a heated propagating bench, maybe one day... Is your chemo delayed for a reason or is it down to Easter?
Christine- i bet you are looking forward to your mum visiting. Hope you are feeling more cheery? My dog always tries to climb on my lap if I,m tearful, it,s so sweet it always makes me smile. I always use strong flour, so not really sure what the problem is , the results are edible if odd looking!
FI - glad your LAST chemo went well and hope your se,s are minimal. Thanks for info about eye twitch, hopefully it won,t prove permanent. I must admit finishing chemo seems vary strange, but we will adapt I,m sure.
Kathleen- hope you are not feeling too bad.
Linda- definitely no halo , unless it,s the reflection of my bald head!,it,s just how he is, but I m quite jealous of all you ladies being so well looked after! I,m looking forward to finding out a finish date for rads to, it will be nice to plan something again!
Sue- I was Also wondering what you could do with an omelette that was rude- ha ha! Hope all goes well tomorrow. How did the planting go? Was it for a hedge?
Mujum- glad you are feeling ok, laughed at your Dumbledore sparrows. I have lots here and they are so quarrelsome, very funny to watch.
Colette- thanks for advise about eyebrow kit, will have a look.
Anne- glad it went well today, hope you are feeling ok
Sure I,ve forgotten someone but brain giving up. I find it incredible we are all approaching the end of chemo, wouldn,t it be lovely if , in fact, you did get a real little gold star badge, that you could wear with pride and silently acknowledge with a smile when you saw it on others. I almost feel like I like my bald head because it makes other people see what I,m going through, once our hair returns, we become anonymous again, even though BC will always set us apart a little, or is that just me being weird?
Anyway, night all
Look forward to it j. But need photographic proof that hair is in fact sprouting...or won't trust links.
Hiding behind that pink balloon is no excuse.
BTW- Onc told me today that FEC-T is the nastiest chemo known to man; that loads of peeps can't see it all the way through and that peeps who do it deserve gold stars (not her words at all- I am a teacher!).
So we are all wonderful for sticking it out..And for those NOT on FEC-T, just sticking out the whole course of any chemo is apparently a really amazing achievement....
So, stickers all round. Shiny ones!
All this posting whilst I'm posting...
I can do anything if I know when!
well done Julianna, you clever cloggs you x