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Starting chemo in February 2012

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Stitchyboy
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Chris and everyone,
Glad you are doing well Chris, nice to hear from you. I can't believe for how slow last year went with treatment etc, that it over a year since being diagnosed! I am doing well, still have moments of deep fear of any aches and pains but guess thats how it is now, try not to dwell but not always easy. We have had two breaks to London already this year for my 40th and recently my Husbands 40th, Isle of Wight end of May and Spain in August so making the most of things! Enjoying the Easter Hols and having my Daughter at home. I am also enjoying having hair on my head!!!!
Hope everyone is okay, lets hope we get some decent weather soon.
Love Sarah xx

Giddy
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi
Hope everyone's well. It's good in a way that not many people are posting, as it must mean we're all back to normal.
I'm fine too, love Chris xx

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi All
Havent visited for a while, Hope you are all doing well.
My hair has returned, thick and CURLY!!! cant do anything with it, but atleast its back.
I cant believe it has been a year since my diagnosis, but Ive made it. Still feel crap some days and Ive had this feeling of something like a harball in my throat, but nothing has been found. Ive recently been told it could be Anxiety!
Ive got scans to come in the new year and am waiting for a date for my mammogram, not really sure how I'll cope with having them squashed in the machine as I still have a bit of pain , especially in my left boob.
Hope everyone has a good christmas
Kiwijan have a fab holiday
love Gill
Kellc
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Not been on her for a while but I am going for my first mammogram since having my treatment tomorrow and it will be a long week rill I get the results.

I an doing ok but still get tired and stiff with the letrozole tablets.

Its a year since I was diagnosed it all seems lke a blur

Hope you are all doing ok

pesteringpixie
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Ladies

earlier in the year some of you were generous enough to support me in my fund raising ventures for Cancer Research by buying my Pixies Happy Bags. Well today I have launched Pixies Christmas sacks. Available for 4 weeks only - they are gorgeous and every penny goes direct to cancer research UK.

They make lovely stocking fillers, can hang on a tree or could be sent in lieu of xmas cards. You can find more by googling me under Pixies Happy Bags or sending me a message for the link. (moderators won't let me put a link on here)

Since June this year I have raised £5000 through selling these little bags and hope I can make it £600 by the end of the year.

Warm wishes

Pixie xx

kiwijan
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Twinky and everyone else! I haven't posted on here in ages although I do pop in now and again to see how everyone is doing. I am back at work full-time (started on a phased return) although I do leave a bit earlier in the afternoons to miss the rush hour. My hair is growing back rapidly - albeit very very thick and curly (like an afro!) and was grey and black - I've coloured it now as oncologist said it was OK. I went for a routine mammogram on my "remaining" breast last week and when I asked her if I would get results immediately she said no - not today - you will get them when you have your next oncologist/surgeon appointment. But thats not until 4 December I said - she replied well unless you hear from us in a week or so with a recall it should be OK. I was pretty p****d off to say the least - I mean this is my second time with breast cancer - wouldn't you think they could let me know either way - knowing how anxious I must feel - NHS hey!!
Anyway hope everyone is doing well and getting on with life. We are off to Aus/NZ/Thailand leaving on 20 December for a month - think we deserve it after this horrible year!
Take care everyone.
x

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Ahhhh....Kevin...big hugs x x thank you. Enjoy the holiday,you all deserve it
kevinj
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Twinky
It's great that you are feeling good and coping well, Marg is great too, you Ladies who went through this horrible illness (you twice Twinky) are incredible and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, It’s funny in our house sally and marg have both been fantastic and I have been a complete wreck,(I think I tried to hide my emotions to much so they wouldn't get upset) I have had a chat with them both and they said they couldn't have coped if it had been me sally especially said I could cope because it was mum but if it had been you dad I would have been totally different, she doesn't love me more just differently. Anyway I looked at my calendar and guess what not one doctors/hospital appointment for the whole of November the first time that has happened since January fantastic. We are off to Cape Verde end of November can't wait.Marg is on the REACT trial which means she takes two anti inflammatory tablets everyday and then sees the specialist every three months for a year and then six monthly after that, she will be monitored for ten years so that is not a bad thing. It’s a shame more ladies don't post anymore on here you all were such comfort to us both, I suppose though the great thing is you all have moved on and don't require the support anymore. I read through some of the posts on the start of this journey and it brings a tear to my eye.Twinky make sure you stay well and keep stress out of your life (easier said than done) you are a very special lady to go through this twice and obviously a true fighter and I hope you enjoy your get together with your March friends I am sure you will have lots of laughs and maybe a hopefully only a few tears. I think Wolsty is going on that as well isn't she another lady who was an inspiration.

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

I just popped in as I was wondering how everyone is doing now the chemo & rads is way behind us? I am having a meet up with ladies who started chemo in March ( mine was 29th Feb so I sort of fell between the two camps) this weekend. Do any of the old crew still pop on here? Post an update so I know how you are. I was a mess when I first finished treatment but now feeling good & coping with work. Went back on a staged return & that worked well for me although to be honest I'd love to retire despite my relatively young age of 44! I'm proud to have got where I am now after all I have been through. Just hope everyone else is doing ok. Would love to hear from you.

Twinky x
Wolsty
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Brilliant news Kevin - what a relief. Glad Marj seems more positive too. Must have been a tough time for you too so no shame in sheading a tear.

9 more rads for me - fed up with itnow.

Xx

kevinj
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Our daughter went to see the consultant today they got her in early because of her mum it was breast tissue thank god me being the big tough man i am burst into tears, marg had to take her to the breast care clinic where she was diagnosed she is one truly remarkable lady, Marg's radiotharaphy has had to be put back a day because of taking our sally today.she finishes on Tuesday and because she is on the REACT trial she will be monotored evey thrre months by the hospital,she seems ok now mentally i think strangely worrying about sally has stopped her thinking about her own illness.She is a little sore but hopefully when the rads finish she will feel better.

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Kevin. Try not to worry about the tears & mixed words. It's quite normal at this stage and things will improve. Once you have been diagnosed & start treatment your focus is on dealing with side effects. This distracts you from thinking much about your diagnosis & often it only hits you afterwards. Your doctor will refer you to someone to talk to whilst you come to terms with all that has happened. It does help for you both to separately speak to someone outside the immediate family. Never underestimate the effect that the news & going through treatment has on both your wife & you. When I was having radiotherapy I went through a very tearful period. I hated the machine too. Couldn't explain why but felt afraid of it. I was so glad when it was over. Please make sure she continues the skin care routine afterwards. I definitely cooked for another couple of weeks afterwards & my skin is still recovering/peeling & I finished at the end of July.

Today I took my next big step & returned to work. I requested a desk job ( my usual workinvolves lots of travel & spending time with strangers) which it looks like I will do until the end of the year. I am starting on2 days a week ( split over 4 half days). I will gradually increase the hours to full time over the next 6 weeks which will get me back to my full wage ASAP. I have been able to use some holiday to boost my hours & wages but still allowing me rest. I came home today & fancied a quick nap. Was woken by aphone call 3 hours later! Going for a walk in a bit then an early night I think!

Hugs for everyone. Whilst treatment is nearly over/over for most of us we still have to cope with going back to the day jobs & the ignorance of others ( I count to ten a lot...lol...).

Twinky x
pauline149
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Ladies

Well, so long since I have posted on here. I finished rads on 9th July and promptly resigned from my job! A bit radical, but I could not face returning to the long hours and stress. Have got involved with a local youth charity, helping out 3 days a week - Well I need something to keep my brain active! I have enjoyed watching the Olympics & Paralympics, been on holiday to Germany (visiting a friend's family) and have booked to visit my sister in USA for whole of October Yay! I have found myself a personal trainer and after being shocked by just how unfit my initial assessment showed me to be, have been going twice a week for the last three weeks. But as a friend told me, the weight loss mountain cannot be as hard as the chemo mountain was, and she's right - I think I am just starting to get results...I feel a bit fitter and it appears that the weight is starting to slowly reduce double yay! Have lost all my nails to first ridge (only two more to go) have been recommended Nu-nail and have been applying it religiously...am not sure wheter it has made a difference though. Hair has grown back thick and curly (and grey), although still very short, I have just this week started to go 'comando' - I felt very conspicuous, but nobody has batted an eyelid...I guess I must look ok after all.

My consultant has said he will book me in in November for lipo (taking a small amount of tummy fat to plump up my LD flap reconstruction) and give me a nipple . I asked if he could keep the lipo going...but he said not . Anyway by the end of the year I should be totally done with all treatment (except Tamoxifen of course) and hopefully will have shed most of my excess weight.

Other good news is that my son passed his A'levels and has had his University place confirmed...am so proud of him to have succeeded despite my illness. He moves in two weeks...with all the changes in my life (no dependant, no job), it's not a surprise that I am going to use the time in USA to re-assess and plan the future.

Anyway ladies, I hope you are all doing well and also looking forward to a bright future.
Love and hugs
Pauline x

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi everyone
Lovely to read a few posts on here!
Jane, I hope radio is going ok for you. I found it a different type of exhausting after Chemo, - bearable but still with issues if you know what I mean. Really glad you had a fab holiday though, you bloomin deserved it. Sarah I wish you lots of luck for radio too - I know what you mean about wanting hair, it's so frustrating but honestly, suddenly (it feels) it's there!

Twinky, how did the chats go? On my phased return I started with Reigate a week, this is full days (less would probs have been better with hindsight) but the good thing is it's two days for two months. Then a month of three days then a month of four so I dont go back full time til jan. I initially thought two days for two months would be too little, but I'm glad now. Not least because I went back to work two weeks after radio and I think it was a bit early!!

Debster you sound really positive, which is lovely to read, wishing you all the very best, and Chris, throughout this you've amazed me with your ability to remember everyone in your posts. Hope the hot flushes aren't getting you down too much, I get mine mostly at night, but feel as hough they might be easing off slightly now (however I dont want to tempt fate).

Kevin, what a nightmare youve all had. Hope everything works out ok with your daughter. Lots of love to you and Marg.

Kathryn hope you're all finished now - woo hoo! Hope your chat helped. I need to call my doc and arrange an apt for counselling - am being too lazy about it.

Sending everyone lots of love and thanks - it's been a horrible journey but you have all really helped me get through it and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Goldie x

Hilly1
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi all,
Kevin, I too will be glad to see the back of 2012, my DX and my father in law died too (2 days after my MX) Thinking of you as you worry about your daughter.
It's been a while since I've commented but have been reading this thread, not so many of us now as we move on after chemo. I had MX after chemo but 6 out of 8 lymph nodes were positive so I was anxious to get on with RADS and now have 3 sessions left (I will be having 15 in total) I am on Tamoxifen and after 1 and 1/2 months haven't had too many SEs apart from hot flushes which I had during Chemo anyway. I'm also having injections to shut down my ovaries, I'll take anything to reduce the chances of cancer returning.
It's nice to talk about chemo in the past tense, my son found a pineapple lollypop in the freezer the other day which reminded me of that horrid mouth. My nails look discoloured but I haven't lost any. Hair growing (especially on my legs) haven't worn my wig for ages it's sooooooo uncomfortable and hot not quite brave enough to go out bare headed yet but I find myself looking at women with short hair and it won't be long before I'll be out without a scarve (my hair was short pre chemo)
I had a good talk with one of the radiographers after a RADS session last week, It was only supposed to be a quick check of skin and SEs but I ended up pouring my heart out, and spent nearly an hour with her, it did me good, I think a counselling session should be offered to all of us and our OHs.
Glad some of us have managed to get away or plan to.
My OH and son go back to school on Monday,not the best summer holiday but at least there will be more summers in the future.
Love to your all
Kathryn

kevinj
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Thanks Giddy we will marg has not been great these last few weeks it's as if she has only just realised she had breast cancer,she has an absolute hatred of doing Rads she has a bit of a phobia about the machine.she has only had 2 so thirteen to go,
Our daughter Sally she is 21 went to the doctors tuesday as she has had a lump under her arm for a few moneths now she has seen two different doctors one said it was infection the other said fatty tissue,marg made her go back tuesday to a different one again,he said it has changed at all it is still the same size still got fluid in it and is probably a cist.He asked her whether she would like a scan done she said it might it might make her mum feel better,he said he would arrange a none urgent scan at the breast clinic oh he checked her breasts and said they were fine,when she came out of surgery and told her mum about having a scan marg burst into tears and has hardly stopped since which just isn't her .One thing else i have noticed is she every now again mixes her words up she will say chemo instead of rads is that what they call chemo brain.I thought with the end of tretment insight she would be feeling happier but it seems completly the other way,well I can only carry on supporting her and loving her.I am dreading our sally going for her scan not because i feel their will be a problem, only the room will be the same one Marg was diagnosed in.God life is crap sometimes and I can't wait for this awful year to be over 2012 up Yours.

Giddy
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi all
Jo- hope you had a lovely birthday. I'm glad your scan was clear.
Debster- I agree, it's so lovely having hair again. Mine was like baby hair but now it's thicker.
Fran- sorry to hear about the redundancy. Hopefully something will come along soon.
Goldie- glad your'e feeling a lot better.
Kev- hope you have a lovely holiday with Marg.
Jane- I think it's a good idea to see a counsellor. I sometimes feel a bit out of sorts but I'm not sure if it's due to the early menopause that the treatment's brought on.
Twinky- I think a few short days might be a good way to get back into work.

It's lovely having finished all the treatment and feeling more like my normal self. I get stiff when i get up but that's about it. The menopause that the treatment's brought on gives me hot flushes etc but, whenever I feel a bit low, I always think to myself that it's not chemo and that makes me feel so much happier!
Hugs and prayers Chris xx

Stitchyboy
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Morning ladies,
its lovely to hear how you are all getting on, and good news of hair etc growing back, as my sister in law said to me 'you will soon be back to your normal hairy self!' I am very grateful that my hair is growing back but i am so impatient for it to be enough for me to have the courage to go without a wig, I feel until then I cannot feel 'normal', wig on wig off is getting right on my nerves!.
I have had a great few weeks whilst my Daughter has been on school holidays it has been so good spending time with her and having enough energy to do things with her again, I do have to have a nap in the afternoon still though, it sweeps over me always at 4pm and sleep I must.
Rads start for me soon, I get mapped out this Friday and have to have 25 sessions.
I am now the proud owner of a silicone falsie and must admit its pretty good, before that whilst going to put my 'softy' on one morning my cat decided to run off with it, I had to call for my Daughter to chase after him and get it back, we were in hysterics!!, maybe there's catnip in them?!!.
Sarah xx

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

I too am loving having eyebrows, eye lashes & a covering of hair again. It's still not very long but is definitely thick! Energy levels loads better but feel like I've hit a brick wall if I seriously overdo things ( like disappear off to the Leeds Festival). Must learn to pace myself. Tempting to do loads now I feel so good but there are still limits to the energy available.

Meeting on Tuesday about returning to work the following Monday. Need to work out a plan for a staged return building up to full time. Any thoughts on hours/days that I should start with? I haven't a clue (& neither has work so seeing my doctor before the meeting). My BCN would be the best person to ask for guidance but she is currently off work.

Hugs to all....loving the lack of chemo & radiotherapy in my life now....just in tamoxifen ( no notable side effects, started beginning of August).

Twinky x
Wolsty
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi All

Started my rads on Thursday so only 23 more to go. Walking lots to try and get my heart recovered enough to carry on with Herceptin - feels good to be doing exercise again. Hair growing and have a thick covering now, also very thick eyebrows (so much so that I think I will need to go and get them threaded - can't believe I am saying that!! - they look like to big caterpillars crawling across my face!)
Had a fantastic holiday in Majorca with OH and my daughters - just what we all needed.

Am also going to see a counsellor - I feel quite emotional at the moment and I think it best to get it out before it festers!

Hope everyone OK

Jane x

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi lovelies, been a real long time since I've logged on, over a month I think, my where does the time go? I nearly feel like my old self, energy levels are back, finished chemo & rads only waiting now for re- con ( hopefully next year)which I'm so excited about cos I want to dig in my wardrobe and not have to think about is it going to cover me enough!
Best bit is my hair is coming back, it's like baby fluff and I washed it with shampoo for the first time yesterday 🙂
Just like to say that I hope your all doing great and am sending lots of love and best wishes for a happy future
Xxxxxxx
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Good luck to Marg for the last one 🙂 hope you have a lovely holiday.
My lovely Auntie has offered us her timeshare in the lake district in October and we've gladly taken her up on it 🙂 Can't wait x
Lots of love to everyone
G xxx

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Ooh Cape Verde. Supposed to be very nice. This holiday will give Marg a nice boost after all she has been through plus nice for you both to relax together. I am sad I can't have time off to spend with hubby as he used all his holiday time to come back & look after me during my worst moments.

Twinky x
kevinj
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hello everybody it is really nice to hear that most of you ladies are completing your treatments,Marg still has one more CMF to go on Friday then Rads the following week for three weeks.She has a hard time these last few weeks ending up in hospital twice with infections.We can see the light at the end of the tunnel as i am sure you all can,holiday in Cape Verde end of november then hopefully a new year quite unlike this one.Best of luck to you all.

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hey Twinky
Thanks for the advice.I'm seeing my oncologist tomorrow so will ask her about it then. It's great news about your nails too 🙂 I'm sure you'll be fine with your phased return. I found the first week really hard and spent the weekend in bed after, but this week I just collapsed each evening and have managed more this weekend. It does take your mind off things too 🙂
Sending everyone a big hug.
G x

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Goldie
I've loved having the Olympics to watch as I've been recovering. Noticed a big improvement in energy levels this week compared to the previous week. Sudden growth spurt too....finally eye lashes & eye brows re-growing! Hair has been growing for some time. Got quite a covering ( thick rather than long) but still wearing hats when I go out. Only lost two nails ( my thumb nails) after tax. The rest have hung on in there!

Would recommend some counsellor time. Good to have an outlet & fix yourself rather than keep moaning to the nearest & dearest. It's enough for them to watch us physically suffer without adding the additional mental pressure as we try & come to terms with what we have been through.

I shall be starting back on a phased return to work in September although no one knows how many hours/days would be a good start plus they need to find some suitable work in another area of the company for me until I am well enough to resume the normal day job!

Big hugs to everyone. Not many postings here anymore but I can understand that as we all start getting involved in life & jobs again.

Twinky x
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi everyone
How are you doing?
Fran, so sorry to hear about the redundancy. Hope you're feeling ok about it, I really hope that where one door closes another opens for you that is much better.
Hope it goes well with your counsellor Twinky, I'm going to ask my oncologist about it on Monday when I see her as I think everyone else will be bored of my troubles soon if theyre not already.
Have managed two weeks of my phased return, I went back to do two days a week two weeks afterthe end of radio. I think it might have been a bit soon, was wiped out the first week - literallyspent three days in bed.
This week was a bit better - got back from work, ate then passed out each night! But not as out of it today which is good. my skin has got a lot better after radio which is brilliant, it looks like it's a bit tanned now but not too bad
Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine and the olympics.I've loved how inspiring it all is.
Love to everyone
Goldie x

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Fran

So sorry to hear aboutyou being made redundant. What timing! I have a meeting with the boss of my boss as I need support when I return not indifference or bullying like I got last year! Finished rads 10 days ago & still cooking. Skin looked good whilst I was having treatment but now looks very speckled & sorry for itself. Busy slapping on the aqueous cream every day. Stayed home & left my bra off all day today. My mood is up & down as are my energy levels. I have some happy pills from the doctor to even out my mood swings ( was on them before after a bad year with deaths, lots of hospital tests & an operation last year but lapsed taking them duringchemo). Have also started the ball rolling with getting to see a counsellor as I need a bit of mentalsupport as well after all this. At the moment I get frustrated with not being able to do lots without ending up exhausted. Guess I'm just being impatient. Our bodies need to heal.

Hugs to everyone
Twinky x
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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hello Ladies,
Well its been a while how are you all doing.

Well dont Goldie on going back to work it will be hard at first.
Knoxy happy 40th hope you have a fab party.
Twinky and wolsty how are you both.
Well i finished my rad over 2 weeks ago and I've been very sore underneath its not weeping now but its sore and doesnt look nice at all.
Apart from that my legs are very stiff and hand are swollen but i intended on going back to work on a phased return until the government stepped in and I was made redundant last week.
So now I've no idea what to do. I'm frightened of rushing back to work to find a job,. I'm trying to claim esa its all very confusing I've only every claimed once before and that was over 15 years ago. I spent 45 mins on the phone just now and they werent the most helpful people.
So i've got to go to the drs and get another sick note when my one runs out for the esa if they give it to me.
I've got my next appointment on the 4th sept so hopefully they will tell me everything is good and then let me know when the next check up is.
love to you all
Fran xx
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Jo
So glad everything is clear 🙂 how exciting about your birthday 🙂 that's fab!
Wishing you many happy returns of the day.

I've finished all my treatment apart from tamoxifen now, which is a nice feeling. Had two weeks off after radio (you do get a bit Sorer and tireder after it finishes but I was ok for me). Then did two days of work last week as part of my phased return. It went ok, but I think I picked up a cold so have been ill since then haha first cold in all this!
So not sure if I hurried back a bit, but it felt a bit like I would be skiving if I didn't go back (goodness knows why I thought that).

Lots of love
G x

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Gosh it seems a long time since I've posted on here, these past few weeks I feel back to normal almost, had a bone and CT scan and everything clear so feeling fab about that!! Still have blood clot and still on daily injections but breating so much better - only another 4 and a half months to go!!! Lol.
Its my big 40 on August 13th so having a party next sat, 11th and really looking forward to it now - hubby spoiling me rotton with new dress, shoes, bag and jewellrey so making the most of it!!!!
How is everyone else doing? Hope you are all coping ok and I presume a lot of you will now be nearing or have finished your RADS? I will be having my surgery in Jan then RADS after that due to the clot but at least I will have a few months of feeling 'normal'
Have a lovely weekend, take care. Jo. XX
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Oh that's good Twinky, as long as you're feeling positive.
Totally know what you mean about getting fit again. I think there is a video breast cancer care do which might be worth looking at? I did six weeks if yoga at the end of Chemo and during rads (ie once a week) and that really helped me, but I haven't managed much more than that. My teacher had cancer a couple of years ago and has been great.

Jane, sorry to hear you had an infection, but YAY re your hair! I did the same thing, overdid it, and made the cording come back in my arm.
I think walking is a good one to start with. Swimming also will be brilliant. I'm sure a holiday will do you the world if good. I've not had herceptin, but radio has been ok (way way more tiring than I anticipated, and a lot mire burned at the end than I thought I'd be) but much more manageable than Chemo, and tamoxifen has been ok too, yes to hot flushes and aches and stuff but not unbearable. You can definitely do it :).

I start back at work this week and am a bit nervous
I've got a phased return but hot flushes, heat and wigs don't mix!

Big hugs
G x

Wolsty
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Twinky - sorry about your nails - mine are very sore and orange!! Hope they don't fall off but will just have to deal with it if they do. Am so with you on wanting to get fitness levels back but think I am going to have to leave it for a while. Did too much last week and am now on antibiotics!! Yesterday reconstructed boob was very red and hot but seems better today so am going to take it easy - going to my Mum's tomorrow for a few days before my rad planning appointment on Friday. I will watch the Olympics too and do a sofa workout!!! Am off on holiday on Sunday so will try and swim everyday and build up a bit of stamina.

Goldie - my hair is growing back too - have a full covering on my head already which feels lovely. No regrowth of eyebrows yet but a bit starting on my legs and down below

Went to see my surgeon on Saturday because I felt so rough (obviously had an infection which is why I felt shivery and under the weather) - promptly burst into tears as soon as I sat down in front of her - first time I have done that!!! In many ways I feel that I am nearing the end but then I think I still have such a long way to go - 25 rads, 15 Herceptin sessions, tamoxifen etc etc. Still, feel very grateful that I am able to receive such good treatment and that my prognosis is relatively good.

Jane xx

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Goldie
Not too scared about losing nails anymorea after losing my first one ( left thumbnail) & finding a new nail already growing underneath. Right one about to go the same way. Feels very sore just prior to departing! Rest of nails look hideous & will probably go the same way but hey ho all the treatment is behind me so it's the least of my problems although it does make opening packets & stuff difficult & also buttons are awkward. Will just have to sit & watch lots of Olympics instead of doing anything much! Seeing such fit bodies though makes me want to work mine hard to get in shape. Not sure how to find a balance between starting to get my stamina back & resting to let the body heal. Anyone got advice on this?
Twinky x
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hey Twinky,
So Sorry about your nails. Pretty grim, although as someone who finished rads nearly two weeks ago, and is therefore a bit further down the road, I can say that everything is coming back a lot quicker now, so fingers crossed they won't all go as your body gets stronger. Mine were dicey too but still just orange and horrid rather than falling off. I kept oiling them anoutputting Sally Hansen on them which I think helped. My hair and eyelashes are coming through now 🙂 yippee, can't wait to lose the bald spots an be able to walk out without a head covering.
Hope you're not feeling too down about your nails.
Lots of love
G x

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Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Left thumb nail already gone, right thumb nail about to go the same way. I have removed all my dark nail varnish & to be honest I think I'll be losing most of them. Rads finished Friday. Not too sore, hope it doesn't get any worse. Taste buds coming back but mouth feels slimey all the time & still not enjoying chocolate which is a big shock as I used to be a massive chocoholic. Think there are just some upper eyelid eyelashes coming through & noticed this week I have fluffy leg hair so everything is starting to come back. I will be 6 weeks from my last tax on Monday. Got plenty of fuzzy grey hair on head. Getting quite thick now rather than long at the moment. BCN advised taking multi vitamins to help the body recover. I must go get some.

Hugs to everyone else recovering

Twinky x
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Sarah
It'd such a strange mix of feelings isn't it?
If you find a way round the fear, let me know, any tips gratefully appreciated.
Hope you enjoy the time with your daughter.
Big hugs
G xxx

Stitchyboy
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Goldie I to have been having dark thoughts, too much so really, I am triple negative so no follow on drugs for me at all, I am due to have 25 sessions of radiotherapy once I have recovered from Masectomy, so probably in a few weeks time. I have so many different emotions going on, happy chemo/surgery over and that I have had good results from pathology reports, down and fed up with waiting for hair, eyelashes, eyebrows to grow back, I don't think I will feel "normal' again till I can go out and about without a wig, and scared about the future and getting the dreaded C back. I totally agree with you that there are no guarantees for anyone and am hoping I can find a way around the fear, as what a waste it will be worrying.
I am enjoying my time with my Daughter on her 6 weeks hols and am grateful that I have some energy coming back to be able to do a few things with her which i couldn't have done awhile back. Because of rads we have not been able to book a holiday but plan to go away in the October half term, so something to look forward to.
Helllo and love to all,
Sarah xx

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Thanks so much Twinky. Words of sense and experience. You are so good at being positive even after everything you've been through.
I know there's no guarantees in this life, but keep worrying that As I don't know what caused the cancer the same thing could cause it to come back or indeed spread. I know I shouldnt worry as it's pointless, but perhaps I don't help myself sometimes. - iPhones make it too easy to google don't they?

Hope you're doing ok with your rads and sending a big hug. G x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Lol.....Goldie....they always tell you Not to Google stuff for this very reason! I did 5 years on Tamoxifen & didn't get a recurrence until after I finished so it didn't finish me off, it helped me so I'm bring put back on it again. It can cause gynaecological problems which is why they restrict the length of time that you're on it. I did have a thickening of the womb last year but it took 4.5 years to get that far & had a simple op to sort it out.

Try not to worry about dark feelings. It's very natural after what your body has been through. Treatment drags us through step by step but the brain catches up eventually. Go talk to your doctor or BCN & I recommended being referred to a counseller to help you come to terms with it all. I ended up at one first time around ( I was reluctant, almost dragged kicking & screaming) & he was great. I shall need someone this time around too as it's been a shock plus have lost four friends in the last year & still coming to terms with their loss.

Sending you a hug x

Twinky
Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Pauline
That's very inspiring. Thanks for that, was feeling a bit flat, and definitely need to snap myself out of it.
Seem to have developed loads of spots under my skin, so googled tamoxifen spots to see if they caused it, and lots of bad news stories about tamoxifen causing other cancers came up. It really depressed me, and made me worry about everything again. Has anyone had any counselling? I'm worried that every time I talk about my dark thoughts with my husband I make him depressed and I don't think it's fair as he wants to be positive.
G x

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Pauline149


Hope you enjoyed your day whilst fundraising for BCC. A very big thank you from all of us here at BCC.



Best wishes,


Jo, Facilitator

pauline149
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Ladies

I have not posted on here for a while, but I have been keeping up with your news...so sorry so many of you are having such a hard time.

I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself, but have managed to snap out of it now (I have not felt sorry for myself all the way through - why now?). I just wish my hair would grow quicker - I want to look normal! I've finished all my treatment and I don't want to look like a cancer patient anymore!

Anyway, my reason for posting is that a friend from my support group decided to hold a strawberry tea yesterday to raise money for BCC. The two of us went strawberry picking (and my patchy hair ensured a 25% discount) and baked loads of scones, lots of people turned up and donated/bought cakes and the weather was kind to us too. At the end of the afternoon we had raised over £220, and we still had loads of cakes - so we sent the kids out round the neighbours, they raised another £50! So we have almost £300 and had a fabulous day gossiping with friends -RESULT!

Big hugs to you all
Pauline x

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Jane - hope your OH is ok?
Why does everything seem to happen at once?
Really glad you've got everything sorted for your holiday - sounds fab fab fab 🙂
Glad you feel you're turning a corner post-op, I've got my fingers crossed it's good news on your heart. All the hidden side effects with the treatment can be so bloomin scary can't they? I'm sure your hols will do you the world of good.
We've got my dad staying with us for a week now so planning lots of nice holiday ish things before I go back to work.
Lots of love to everyone.
G xx

Wolsty
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

So sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time Kathryn. You have so much to deal with and tough for your OH too. Hope your appointment goes OK today.

I had a heart scan yesterday to check function after 3 x herceptin. Asked the doctor afterwards if everything was OK and he said my results are worse than last time so he will need to speak to my oncologist. Have got a break before I start Herceptin again because of rads etc. so hopefully things will be better when I am re-scanned.

4 weeks post mx, recon and node clearance and I feel I am turning the corner. Better range of movement and scars healing. Still feels incredibly tight and restricted but that might always be the case I think.

OH just called to say he has been knocked off his bicycle - he's OK but bruised and shaken. The driver of the van that knocked him off was very apologetic and drove him and his bike to a local bike shop to get it repaired then OH is going to continue in to work. I hope he is OK - want to give him a big hug as he has been so supportive to me.

Just started raining again here in London but the forecast for the weekend is much better and I have booked my holiday to Majorca 🙂 Got travel insurance throught Insurance With for £29 so was really pleased about that - can't wait!!

Jane xx

Sam_BCC
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Hi Kathryn

As well as the support you receive here, if you would like some extra emotional support during such a difficult time please do give the BCC helpline a call and talk through how you are feeling. The trained members of staff on the helpline are there to offer you a listening ear as well as practical information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Kathryn, I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news.
What a horrible week. Lots of love to you and your family. G x

Hilly1
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Afternoon Ladies,
Last week was the longest week of my life, mastectomy on Monday same day as we heard father in law went into a hospice. Very early Thursday am heard news that father in law had died. What a bitch of a week. OH spent time with family in London but my mum and dad came to look after me and my son. OH has gone back to work today so this is my first day on my own, but it's not so long when you don't get up til 10 and teenage son will be home soon. Funeral is next Wednesday. I hadn't seen F- in Law since Christmas as neither of us were keen to travel (he had mesothelioma), but at least my memories of him will be before he started to deteriorate, he had lost a lot of weight. Even though he was ill his sudden death has shocked us all, we had hoped to have a few more weeks and were planning a visit during the summer holidays. OH not good, dad's death bad enough without my cancer too.
I've got appointment with consultant tomorrow, feeling very nervous.
What a rubbish year and it's only just 1/2 way through.
Sorry to sound so depressing.
Kathryn

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Apologies, my phone froze don't know why it posted 3 times!!
G xx

Goldie112
Member

Re: Starting chemo in February 2012

Thanks Debster.
I know what you mean about yoda, I seem to have gained a million wrinkles. Looked at myself today and I think I've aged 10 years - nice! Bald, fat and wrinkly hahaha
Hope the rest of your radio goes well xxxx