Ribby72 I know what you mean about the end of chemo being an anti climax, but when I got back my bros and his wife had sent a very large bouquet of flowers saying well done you They were lovely. I am on day 6 now I have usual dry mouth and heartburn bit more tiredness but not too bad. I am keen to get on with the rads appointment now dont know exactly when that will be apart from 4weeks break but not sure if I have to go during that time to get measured up and tattoos done!Also duetto start the drug for 5yrs at the same time as rads start so dont know which one yet.
Will be glad when hair grows back it will be so good to be part normal lol Take Care all Pumpkins and hope you will be all feeling better soon,Jaynem enjoy your look good feel better, I ended up with a dvd and book as there was no places available in my area, but it was quite good.xxx
Ribby, what a lovely positive post and so many things for you to look forward to this year! I am looking forward to escaping to Lanzarote after rads to chill out with the family and my mum all of whom have had their own struggles following my dx back in July. In May we are off to Florida on a long ago planned trip with my sisters and their families, I suspect I will be doing more shopping than theme parks unless my strength makes a miraculous comeback!
Hopefully we will find our rescue dog in June or July so a summer of training, walks and cuddles which is very exciting!
I am really looking forward to getting back to working in the office, it has been a godsend working from home during treatment but I really miss being in the thick of it. Work is likely to get very busy from April with some big changes so I will be back at the right time.
i am off to a Look Good Feel Better workshop today which I am looking forward to. I was on the waiting list for a couple of months so it was a nice surprise when they called to invite me.
Spring is round the corner pumpkins, we are almost there and it is uplifting to read all the good things you have ahead of you.
Remember to face the sun and leave the shadows behind you.....
Well Pumpkins..... Day 4 of final FEC....!
Havent posted earlier cos was feeling really well (apart from not sleeping but thats usual first few days for me) & didnt want to hex the feeling of enjoying being well at the weekend as im usually unwell immediately after chemo! THEN i woke up this morning & BAM! Hello SE's!!!!! Aching (from injection on sat), indigestion/heartburn, headache, hot/cold sweats, very tense! BUT im just taking it day by day, thinking i've done this 5 times already, i'll be feeling better soon....
Im feeling really weird about finishing my chemo. TBH it was a bit of an anticlimax! Went to new Unit & it was still disorganised, still waited 2 hours, onc nurse kept dashing off while i was hooked up for final drug going in.... She finished my session, taped up my line, dashed off to get DN referral & never came back - another nurse brought my form. I dont know wot i expected but some sort of pat on the back & 'well done' would have been nice - I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION I AM AN ATTENTION SEEKER!!! (i still left them a huge box of chocs tho!)
Just been going through my diary & i have SO much to do!!!!!! Itching to go to the house & sanitise it after D#1s norovirus so the house is ready for me & Princess to go home.... Auntie & Uncle coming over from Yorkshire end of Feb so going for meal out for their Ruby WAnn (looking forward to a proper meal out!!). Its my Dads 70th in June, XBF has booked a few days away in Edinburgh beginning of July for his 40th & has asked me to join him (i have NO idea how thats gonna work out - but hey ho, time will tell!), Race for Life in July (Princess has decided we are wearing matching pink tutus & head boppers!), my 40+ 1year party in October, Mums 70th in Nov & its their Golden WAnn on the same day!! Not to mention Xmas, Princess bday & D#1s 21st in January!!!!! PHEW!!!!!!! And through all that im supposed to be resting, building up my strength, finding a social life & trying to get my head round wot the hell has happened the last 6 months! Oh & no doubt the DSS will be hassling me about finding another job (i was made redundant in February)!
On a more lighter note.... when can i start eating 'banned' food again??????? I need chinese, greek, kebab, burger king, steak, cheesecake, meringue, etc etc etc!!!!!! Thought id mention a fellow cancer warrior recommended Wella SP balance shampoo for new hair... Im pricing up at the mo but its about £13 & is for sensitive scalps & helps volumise the new hair & is recommended for post treatment hair.... Oh & i had a bath this afternoon & realised my razor will be coming out of hiding again soon - i have bristles on my legs!!!
Nonni - thanx for the eyesight advice. I got new glasses in March, which were then lost by the hospital when i had MX, got new ones in August & am hoping not to have to go through it again. Im going to leave it a couple more weeks then get in touch with Onc nurse before i hit Specsavers. i also have contact lenses so they will need reassessing too.....!
i know this is a very long post (& well done if you've read so far!) but im post chemo waffling!!!! I cant believe we have come as far as we have Pumpkins... Its a long, dark, emotional, heartwrenching, inspiring journey we are on & i am well aware its not over yet but we must remember we are truly amazing women & should be very proud of ourselves & our families & friends.
Lots of waffling love & hugs...... XXX
I'm still feeling rubbish from the last lot of T and it's nearly time for the final lot on Wednesday, I'm not looking forward to feeling so foul again so soon. Tomorrow I get to meet a new oncologist and to talk about radiotherapy, I hope they can give me some dates so that I can plan to get away for a few days with my DH before he finds another job, don't want to go anywhere fancy , I just want to see some different walls.
Ribby, a couple of months ago I did go to see my optician as my eyesight had changed so drastically I could no longer see to read. They were very good about advising me and I got a very good deal on new lenses with free frames thrown in - I don't think I could have borne these last few months without being able to read or see a computer screen.
good luck to everyone having treatment this week
hi pumpkins, sorry been so long since last post, haven't been too well, then after last weeks final chemo, was daughters panto rehearsals all week so not had a spare minute lol, 3 performanacies over 2 days all went brill, so proud of them all especially sammy my daughter. they got one more 2 do this weds at the club where they normally rehearse.
been for line care this morning, still no appointment for ct scan asked about it while i was there hopefully should hear something by friday, and waiting to hear about appointment to see breat surgeon.
hope everyone is feeling better now that was under the weather. and hope all goes well for those that are having last chemo
Hi dear Pumpkins
Ribby... just wanted to say about your eye sight... I've been told it's fairly normal to have changes and not to bother having an eye test until at least a couple of months after chemo has finished as your eyes should go back to their normal self... it's just another side effect and it will be a waste of your money paying for another eye test and glasses..... be patient and hopefully all will be well in a few months x
I have just run my fingers through my hair and only a few hairs shedding so happy with that - may be speaking too soon though....hated the cold cap but it was worth it.
Meal out sounds great - haven't had a drink or night out for ages. Got night out with friends from work coming up and really looking forward to it.
Dragonbunny, like you I have regrowth which has covered the thinner bits, what is annoying is that the longer coloured hair is still shedding and I had hoped it would have stopped by now - I guess it is not quite 3 weeks since the last chemo and the first shed I had was 3 weeks after the first so hope it stops over the next week. I guess from your post that your hair has stopped shedding completely now? Mine had shed all the way through but I still have a good head of hair thanks to the cold cap.
Feeling really tired today as we have had a busy weekend celebrating 3 family birthdays which has been lovely. We also went out for a meal last night with our best friends, he is also on chemo for non-hodgkins lymphoma so we were both enjoying coming out of the SEs and had a lovely curry with a glass of wine.
Time to get on with the Sunday roast so hope you all have a good evening
Jaynem - the hair I did shed is growing back quickly but the growback emerging is fluffyish and grey. I knew it was growing back cos my head feels less cold than it did! The cold cap did work for me but I did lose some. The longer still coloured hair which I held on to is still there with the regrowth pushing through. It is not perfect but OK. I think going to hairdressers may be a good idea but I hesitate just like I did when I had a check up at dentists. I felt a bit exposed somehow when I had to explain about the chemo. Good thing is I feel much more confident about washing and combing it. My daughter bought me some Argan oil at Xmas and this (or serum) helps with the frizz. I see signs of normality which is good but wish I could colour it now.
I have decided I will do rads (x15 starting Feb 5th) before I phase a return to work in Feb. I am still tired and have occasional abdominal pains and have had a cold for about 2 weeks which is just getting better. Hope to feel better soon. My usual pattern is low white cell count on week 3 after of chemo which will be next week.
re travel insurance - I haven't needed it yet but saw a thread where someone with breast cancer used a company called 'insurancewith' but can't vouch for it - may be worth a google?
Little Bear - your blog is lovely. I saw your picture of a crunchie and had to have one. My taste buds are starting to return thank goodness.
thanks little bear , great quotes - it is funny thinking chemo is over but you don't actually feel like it is because you know the Ses are going to last for a while yet - going for my tattos on Friday so hope radio will start for mid feb so i can say that when spring starts this is one season that won't be affected by cancer like the last 3!!! - going to do a series of poems when all this is finished as have kept a log throughtout it all!!!
keep going all of you that are nearly there - feel for you - so want my hair to grow and feel normal again - want to not worry about it coming back either but I think that might be easier said than done!
hugs to all- Janice
Kay, I contacted Insure Pink as like you I need medical insurance for Florida out they won't quote until I finish active treatment i.e chemo and rads so I will try again then. If you come across any good deals, let me know and I will do the same. I'm glad you are starting to feel better.
Sorry so many of you are feeling rough, I guess the poison is catching up with us all after so many doses. Your quotes are spot on Little Bear and I am looking forward to experiencing the dog one for real in a few months.
Good luck to anyone having their chemo this week and I hope all of you recovering from your last round get through the SEs as quickly as possible. I am nearly 3 weeks post Fec6 and am feeling a lot more normal except my hair is still shedding quite a bit! I can't wait until I can treat it normally like washing it daily and brushing it without lots of hair coming out! How is yours doing Dragonbunny?
Hi Pumpkins. Have come out the other end of rubbish weepy week. Went out with lovely daughter for a long coffee and chat yesterday.
thank you for your post Little Bear, the quotes are so true, especially liked the dog one as I don't think he expects anything much from me other than to give him a cuddle whenever he demands it!
Witchy, another friend in the States had hair extensions put in as soon as her hair grew a couple of inches so that might be an option for the Caribbean wedding
raonaid and SSF - so sorry you are feeling so poorly, think Little Bears quotes are so pt at this time.
raonaid, or anyone really, who are you using for your holiday insurance? Was it a problem getting it. I need to sort out for Florida as Saga insurance cancelled my policy as soon as I told them I was having treatment for BC. I have made them reinstate my cancellation insurance (YD works in insurance), but I still need medical insurance.
Have a good week all, take care
Just a wee post tonight as cream crackered, was going to wait until tomorrow, but folk are having such a bad time I thought I'd do a quick post tonight and a longer one tomorrow!
Ribby and Fifirosalie; your daughters brought a tear to my eye too. My daughter is 23, but I couldn't have done this without her; she's been my 'chemo angel' - been to every chemo with me (& brought me a different book mark every time which she writes lovely things on & gives me when we get home!). Don't they make you proud?!
Kay, just wanted to send an especially big hug to you, and am sorry you're having such a rotten weepy week, am thinking about you and empathising.
Sending love to all those who have ended back in hospital, let's hope all these horrendous SE memories fade quickly when we're through this.
To all those struggling with TAC - ESPECIAL empathy to you after my six doses of TAX. The fatigue is the pits, there are no words to describe it. I think you just have to give in to it, and ignore everyone who doesn't understand. Steam rollered doesn't even get close!
Susanmary, after 5 TAX I have considerable peripheral neuropathy in my finger ends (but not in my feet). They haven't dose reduced because of it, as it's par for the course, but it's got worse the last few cycles of TAX, so I think maybe with 3 TAC you might be ok (& not everyone gets it) - fingers crossed for you.
Read these two quotes today, when I was feeling particularly daunted by the thought of the 6th cycle of TAX next week;
'When you're ready to quit, you're closer than you think' and 'The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you're about to succeed'. Thought I'd share them, as we're all in the same boat!
To all the current real and potential dog owners (of which there are now many on here!), I also read 'Be the person your dog thinks you are'. (Kay, that one's especially from me to you during your difficult few days). Made me smile!
Love, and a good night's sleep, to all amazing Pumpkins xxxx
The roads are almost clear and I am able to escape and have friends round again, the thaw may save my sanity. I've been watching too much TV, spending too much time on my own and inventing things to worry about -it is reassuring to know that others have the same vulnerability. Hoping that we can all silence the red devil!
Did anyone else spend 4 hours cheering Andy Murray on to reach the Australian Open final?...it's a slippery slope into the daytime TV habit!
Ribby and Fifirosalle, you must to be proud of your girls- you can congratulate yourselves on doing a great job raising the next generation of strong women!
A close friend's daughter told us to keep June free as she is getting married, in The Caribbean...now that's something to look forward to! Then I start to wonder how much hair I will have. My poor head is more like the base of a Fuzzy Felt...wonder if felt shapes would stick..flowers, pumpkins, pineapples ?...as I say I've had too much time in my own company!
Well done to all who have crossed the chemo finishing line, good luck to those who are about to have chemo and healing hugs to those suffering the dreaded SEs.
With so many of you finishing your treatments, I'm believing that there will be an end to it all. It's less than two weeks for me now.
Thanks to all posting pumpkins...be as well as you can.
Been in hospital yet again, throat infection. re blood thinners yes I have map of the world in bruises too. It is all 'such fun' isn't it!
Last docetaxel on 30th in a funny sort of way I am pleased but not in others as still have to go through more SE's to finish all this.
Well when all this has finished and rads too, I am going to go out and have the biggest dinner and champers ever.
Sitting in bed typing this,day 4 post last Tac, feel like I've been filleted, hubby took our wee girl to child minders today so I could rest. I was speaking to my mum last night and she said, don't worry just a couple of days and you'll be back to normal ??? I wish.
Susanmary re SE and p.n. I spoke to a someone from North Highland Cancer Info and Support Centre re this cause Iwas worried about it too, I am a part time Art teacher and do jewellery and ceramics at home. The woman I spoke to has this but she said that it does'nt stop her doing her quilting work, the main thing she said was the cold hurt her toes. I decided to take L- Glutamine cause thats supposed to help alleviate the symptoms, so far so good.
Jaynem we're going to Lanzrote on the 5th April before my rads, really looking forward to it, even if its factor 50 and a big hat, we've been over a few times and love the traditional food, garlicky mojos and those funny wee salty potatoes yummy. Both Ribby and Fifirosalle's posts about their children was wonderful you must be both so very proud of them and how they are coping. Going to go to sleep now the pheasent shoot has finished, they were really close today, in fact the dogs were in our garden retrieving the birds.
Hi Pumpkins, Sorry to hear that some of you are having a bad time, hope you all start improving soon. I had my last tax on Thursday, I was so tired could have fallen asleep right there!! The night before though I was up very late after my start of 8steroids was on such a high didnt sleep much at all. Slept ok luckily since so dont feel too bad still a little delicate a bit of aching in joints usual sore mouth and so dry!l, it helps knowing its the last what a relief 4 weeks break now before radlotherapy starts not sure when my hour appointment is to get measured up and have tattoos done will be.
Nice bit of sunshine here today and no snow which they forcast yesterday so thats good.Take Care everyone enjoy the weekend if you can xxx
10 days post chemo5. Tax + herceptin no2. Thought I was doing ok this cycle, they reduced the tax by 20% so have less side effects.
I managed to get to the Look good feel great day which was great. Recommend it to everyone.
Then started coughing, temp hit 38 so spent a night in the ward. Happily they let me home the next day with some huge antibiotic pills. But the cough go worse, now on chest so am coughing up lovely green grunge and struggling to breathe. Have absolutely no energy. Hoping the cough soon goes away and I get a good week or so before the final chemo on 7th.
BeUtifful sunny day here, dazzling in the fresh snow. Shame I'm not up to even a little walk.
Have a nice weekend pumpkins
I had my rads planning session today and have a start date for 6th Feb! I am now the proud owner of 4 tattoos, i am sure I once said I would never have a tattoo, little did I know......
Dragonbunny, I also want to dye my hair with veg dye, I am waiting until it stops shedding then I will go to my hairdresser who has been trained to treat chemo damaged hair as it also needs a trim. Hair still shedding daily so I hope it will stop soon as I can't wait to be able to wash it more often.
My occ health provider has advised me to carry on working from home during rads and to phase back into the office a couple of weeks after rads finish. If all goes according to plan, I should finish rads on 1st March then we go to Lanzarote on 26th so I will try and do a few days in the office between the end of rads then can have a proper rest on holiday - can't wait for some sun even though I will be covered in factor 50!
aw wonderful kiddies arent they make us so proud. thanks dragonbunny am hoping same or had a thought last night that could be ovary pains from.lack of period but pains too high i think really. just wish could get results same day cant be that hard to.see if there anything there or not....well done to this on last one the journey is getting shorter for some.xx
last chemo done PICC line out - totally painless and quick - don't see onc for 12 months so hope that is a positive sign - of course they won't commit - he just said hopefully after all this my chances of the cancer coming back are greater than 50/50!!! - so will have - good luckk to all those still on chemo - you can do it - thought of you Ribby on your way like me this morning - mine was the quickest ever -on way home at 12 o'clock - just wish I won't feel shite for next fortnight!!!!!!
Just read Fifirosalie and Ribby's posts re their children. Brought tear to my eye as well. What great kids.
Lynsey - I have had pains in breast andf still have slight lump in scar if WLE. The surgeon was happy with this - so I try not to worry. I too have had pains in abdomen and onc nurse thought it was chemo side effects. They are settling down a bit but still worry me sometimes. I hope your scan results are fine. Please let us know how you get on. For me the worry and anxiety is really hard.
Kay - I can identify with your rubbish week and the wish to hide. I may have to return to work in just over a week though may delay it a week as I have a cold/cough which I can't shake off. It is 2 weeks since last chemo and going by experience my lowest white blood count will be next week. I went to Sainsbury's shopping on Weds and the trip absolutely knackered me.
I now have my rads appt for 5th Feb (last chemo 10th Jan) and plan to phase back in to work during this time though I feel bit daunted by prospect. I had cold cap so didn't lose all my hair. It got very thin on the crown and this is now growing back a wiry grey and is about 2 inches of grey wire wool pushing the longer and still coloured hair strands upwards! Bit comical. Would love to colour it before I go back to work as I now have a two tone effect but consensus seems to be to leave it a few months. I would be happy to use natural dyes if it means I can use it sooner but not sure if this is advisable?
Love and good luck to all Pumpkins having treatment this week
I wish every one well who had finished or about to finish their chemo. Those of you with young families are an inspiration.
I have a way to go and start Taxol next week. I am quite worried about the s/e of peripheral neuropathy. Has anyone experienced this and what happened? Will chemo be stopped? I do alot of craft so this would be a big problem for me.
Ribby and Fifirosalie, you must be so proud of your daughters - old heads on young shoulders springs to mind. Thiwa awful illness attacking their precious mum is so unkind.
congrats to those now finished chemo and good luck to those almost finished.
i having a rubbish week so going into hiding until I get over the weepies and feel better!
take care all
hope all goes well lynsey - waiting is awful - we will always think the worse now because the worst has happened to us!!!!! - my las t chemo is tomorrow - I feel I should be on a high about it but I'm not because I know the next 10 days will be awful again and i don't won't to do it but I know i have to - taxotere is awful because of the nerve pains- I hope they take the Picc line out tomorrow as that at least will feel like a positive step - it only half works anyway!! - they can get the chemo in but no blood out!!! - so they still have to struggle with my rubbish veins!!!!
got things planned for this weekend before the dreaded SE kick in - Burns Night supper with friends tomorrow, Spinning , Weaving and Dying meeting on Sat and Chinese take away at ours with children and partners and Grandaughter and son and wife staying for a sleepover - was ecven offered to be taken to Les Mis at the pictures sat evening but think that will be a step too far!!! -
made some choc slice for chemo nurses tomorrow - won't be going there again I hope and they have been so brilliant with me - can't believe it is actually going to be the end of this part!! - got radio planning meeting next Friday so hope to start that in 3 weeks - again like everyone it is a long round trip every day but am hoping to take some control and drive myself!!! - then it really has got to be the start of the next part of my life!!! thank you pumpkins for being so great - don't know how I would have managed without you all as you don't want to bore friends and family do you?!. Ribby you shouuld be so proud of your daughter she is still so young but so empathetic
Both Ribby and Fifirosalle's posts about their daughters brought a tear to my eye - our kids are all fantastic and I am sure that this journey has been as tough for them as it has for us. It is lovely to hear stories of how wonderful they are and the lovey things they do and say :-)
Well done all who have got their last chemo out of the way and I hope you get through the next week without too much trouble.
Just read about Ribby's princess at school. That brought a tear to my eye. So amazing that she's managed to feel the good bits and share them with someone else. Being a mum is brilliant, especially when they amaze you with their loveliness! X
Well, last chemo done! Went like clockwork, OH said it's only taken six goes to get it all running smoothly LOL! Sadly won't be having the pesky PiCC line removed for a good few months as will be having Herceptin through it. I love swimming, and it's gonna be such a treat when I can finally get back in the pool, when I've saved up for a mastectomy swimsuit and swim prosthesis. Suppose the Herceptin will give me time enough to do that!
Feeling very jolly, steroids doing their thing. Expecting a big crash when they stop, first Tax sent me to bed for two days, second three and a half, so under no illusions about how I may be feeling in a few days time.
Had a little cry just now when I saw what my newly thirteen year old daughter posted on Facebook today "So proud of you mummy, love you <3 <3 <3" Made me feel proud of her, she's not one for public displays of emotion, and everything about me is cringe inducing for her at the moment, so that must have taken some courage. Will make sure I tell her in the morning, this has been a tough ride for her.
Re: aches and pains. i thought I'd been very lucky with my healing, did all my exercises religiously and got almost full range of movement back following mastectomy then axillary clearance. Every hit of chemo caused my scar to redden and hurt again. Also had a lumpy area just under scar that became painful, then last dose and my searing nerve pain has returned right down the affected arm and back on amytriptyline to control nerve pain. Arm is also slightly swollen, but breast care nurse thinks it's all chemo related and will settle down as I recover. Phew - hope she's right. They did get me onto chemo pretty quickly after surgery - less than three weeks, and I am now told perhaps a longer gap would have helped...thought they were meant to be the experts!
Anyway, probably won't pst agin until out the other side of bad week, but will keep reading, so hope everyone cope with treatments and scares. So reassuring to read a bout others' similar and different experiences.
Well its Final FECing Chemo Eve.... gonna take my chill pill shortly so thought i'd post before (otherwise i'll just end up rambling for hours...!).
Thought i was coming down with something tbh. Headache, felt slightly nauseous & tummy ache. But thinking about it, it could be PMT (even tho i didnt have a period last month) which is just about typical!! Although i would rather it be PMT than a bug that could possibly delay treatment.
I get to use the new Unit which has just opened at Blackpool Vic which will be a distraction & im told it should be running efficiently so whereas my appt at 1030 usually means getting seen at 1230, i may actually get seen on time!!
Im absolutely exhausted still but had a really busy day yesterday & im suffering today. It hits home what my body is going through when i try to do a 'normal' day. So again im adamant i will rest as much as possible over the next couple of weeks as im sure FEC6 is gonna knock the stuffing right out of me.....
Lyndsey - i had quite sharp shooting pains through my 'breast' until very recently & now its only occassionally (i had my MX end of July). Its quite normal im told. Arm & armpit still numb & i have been told this can be permanent.
Kirstie - was interesting to read your post re recon. Im a size 8/10 & was only a 34A so am hoping, if i can even have recon, that i can get away with an implant...
Kaytee - i swear my hair is getting thicker by the day. Probably just my imagination (or wishful thinking) tho!
Thought you may be interested to hear of my Princess' day at school. She came home telling me how a boy in the other class was really upset because another boy was teasing him about crying as his mum was having her 1st chemo today (BC). So Princess confronted the other boy telling him to leave him alone & that he was being nasty & to say sorry. She said he apologised!! She then sat down with the other boy & told him even tho his mummy was going to be poorly, he would still get to spend time with her & how she would have a bad week, a tired week then a good week! She then told him all the things we had managed to do while ive been going through treatment..... Typical of her to worry about others.... but im glad she dealt with it in such a mature way & made me very proud... <3
Anyway, time for the chill pill. Will update when i get chance.
Well done to all Pumpkins for getting this far.... XXX
thanks annette phew def glad last one then! ive just had fec 5 still on tablets so.expecting a rough few days the weekend! not going to be fun tomoz in ct scanner feeling sick! hope u have a lovely weekend and hope your scan comes back ok. ive heard chemo can affect digestive system so hoping and praying my pains just that. xx
Hopefully all will be fine Lynsey. I had pain in my breast and also going from my arm pit round my back. Also had what felt like was a lump where the lump had been after about 3 sessions of chemo. I spoke to my BCN and even though they thought it was nothing they got me in to be examined and i then had another ultrasond where it showed everyhting was normal and it was just how it was healing. The pains i was having around my back aswell were where i had all the lymph nodes removed. Apparently its common to experience all sorts of pains and twinges as the healing process is a long time. My arm is still numb and this is from having the auxillary clearance. It is very scary though and every pain you do worry about. I had to have a CT scan last friday as when i had the original scan last august it showed something in my abdomen at the time but my consultant wasnt worried and said sometimes lymph nodes show enlarged when you are not well and they would just repeat the scan. I had put it out of my head but now i have had the scan am worried about getting the results.
Its been over just over a week now since I had my final chemo and i have to say it totally wiped me out this one. Im so glad it was the last one. I did nothing for over a week apart from go from bed to sofa and then back to bed again. I didnt think I was ever going to feel any better and then yesterday my temperature started creeping up and I was worried that I would have to go to the hospital but it stabalised at 37.6 for a while and then started reducing so phew that was a relief. I woke up this morning feeling much better and even managed to get myself out the house for a while, nothinging exciting just went to sainsburys but was nice to get out for some fresh air.
Good luck to all of you having chemo this week and those recovering from a session. I hope the Se's are not too bad and you can enjoy the weekend. Im off to the seaside this weekend with my OH. My mum lives at seaside so we are going to see her and going friday eveing so will be nice to get away for the weekend.
Take care everyone x
Lyndsey, I have had brest pain on and off since WLE, usually the week after chemo and my BCN said that is normal. Keep posting, we are here to support each other and be there through the good and the bad. You are having the tests which will hopefully give you the peace of mind you need and I know that the waiting is the hardest part so will be thinking of you xx
Bless you Lynsey. I really don't know how you ladies with little ones cope. Sending Positive Thinking vibes your way. Think we all imagine the worst because our bodies have let us down once before and others don't understand that. It's like it's hard to describe how ill you feel wih chemotherapy, unless someone has experienced it they don't understand.
dont cause yourself more agony by worrying unless there is something to worry about. The tests have a massive chance of proving negative, and good that you have arranged rather than continue to imagine.
lots of support and understanding on this forum. Look after yourself and let us know how you get on.
be thinking of you
Yes lynseyp37 Had pain in neck on masectomy side, given that I had 3 tumours one very high up near collar bone, was the biggest and highest grade would'nt you know, so I was worried it had spread into bone or neck lymphs but scans showed negative, keeping my fingers crossed for you too. I 've found family members often dont understand the strain and worry of waiting for results and try to be upbeat to make us feel better, bless them, it does'nt work for me but maybe it helps them to cope. I encourage you to keep on posting. This is part of what this forum is for to air or fears with others who get it, without worrying about upsetting folk like family members. We're here for you hugs xxx
hi pumpkins havent posted for a while u guys all so upbeat didnt want to bring u down but struggling with a few things. have had shoulder and breast pain a while now - had WLE in sept 2012 got
appt with breast surgeon next tuesday so bit scared. also have developed a pain under right hand ribs looked at macmillan guess what could be symptons of liver c. in a right state rung onc who is arranging ct and bone scans. beside myself with worry just had fec 5 - my mum great but doesnt get why im worried! erm 38 with two kiddies and dont wabt to die!! has anyone else had any scares??? xx
Congratulations to all who have finished their chemo! Moving on and up!
i still have one to go and I feel exhausted this time. Went for Hickman line flush and temp was up and neutrophils had gone ino hiding. doc would not let me leave chemo unit for an hour whilst they monitored me. Was having a real panic attack, car park ticket running out and OH on crutches at home waiting for me to come home. Eventually they let me go after I was frantically trying to add money onto my parking.
bed day today I tthink.
Hugs to all x
Excellent news Kirstie on recon, a work friend of mine who is petite like you had a similar op and her boobs looked great, she was so proud of them that when she heard I'd got bc first time round she dragged me into her office for a look.later she got nipple tattooed which was very well done. I had lumpectomy first time now masectomy, still hoping against hope I can get recon later, if not I think I 'll get a pretty tatoo to hide the scar.
Jaynem glad you got your rads appointment through, nurse said I should wait 2/3 weeks and if swelling not down on chest wall I should get it drained again. It needs to be flat before rads
Rosebud50, Tamoxifin is a bit pants but it does excellent job, I guess your like me and estrogen positive, I am wishing somewhat futiley that the chemo has put me in perminent menopause, dont need estrogen anymore thankyou very much. Body are you listening to me.
Last chemo went well even though my blood count was a little low PICC came out really easy and glad to get ride of itchy plaster I am allergic to the sticky stuff, takes my skin off. Treating it with Avenno on advice from nurse.
Hubby bought me Regaine For Woman as the one I bought was for men only. So we are going to run an experiment to see who gets a full head of hair first.
Had busy day today but managed to stay awake throughout. Chemo review at 1030, bloods done, then lunch with XBF, picked Princess up from school, quick brew then off to ballet (Princess, not me!) then home for tea with D#1 (its her birthday 2moro - she'll be 20). Finally sat down at 9. Am now in bed, with a brew, biccies & watching Quadrophenia.... Chilling day 2moro i think ready for Friday....
Spoke to Onc nurse re removal of hickman line. Shes quite happy for it to be removed in about 3 weeks as my Hb have been fine. She said removal is far easier than putting it in - the Sister can do it & it takes minutes (she did say it may be worth me taking chill pill beforehand!). Also Onc has recommended i start tamoxifen while having rads. Bit gutted cos i was hoping to have a few weeks drug free.... She told me usual SEs - hot sweats, mood swings & weight gain. Lovely! Although she did say it tends to settle after about 3 months.... So 3 months of locking myself in a cupboard i think!!! I mentioned migraine - she didnt seem too concerned & didnt offer me any painkillers tho.
I forgot to mention my vision. Will see how it is after this session & if it doesnt improve i'll get in touch with her before going for an eye test. I only got new glasses 6 months ago!!
Jayne & Roanaid- hope all went well today!! I know you will feel pants for a while but NO MORE CHEMO!!!! xxx
Gail - shall i give you my address, my house needs sanitising after D#1 having norovirus!
Lots of love & best wishes to all (far too many of us to mention now).
Finally got confirmationtoday that my rads planning session is on Friday - yay! hopefully I will then get a start date for the week after next which means I can enjoy next week (other than having the port out on Thursday which I really want but expect to be sore afterwards).
I did almost a whole day at work in the office today so am absolutely shattered now! Everyone said how well I looked, the downside of still having hair is people seem to think that now chemo is over, I am back to normal - if only
Only se's dragging on this time are dry eyes and mouth other then tiredness but hopefully they should be gone by next week. My hair is still shedding as normal though, I'm not sure when that will stop but I can't wait to brush my hair and it to all stay put!!
I hope all having their final chemo this week get through the se's quickly.
on the subject of recons, you have the right to know about all types of surgery and be referred to another hospital if yours does not do it. Obviously this does add complications, but if you have particular views or needs there is that option. I have met women who have had recon after rads and also twelve years later.
wishing everyone well and hoping you are keeping fit and germ free.
I have just finished FEC and go straight to Tamoxifen. I see GP for this which may be easier. Getting cool pillows to the ready before the hot flushes start.
good luck to everyone.
Taken my 8 steroids today and had blood test if all ok last chemo tomorrow cant wait. Little bear glad you had a good birthday,Ribby72 love the pic I look the same we could be sisters lol I have a bit of hair coming back its all soft like a baby but at least its blonde I was dreading grey or white also some hair growing back on my arms legs still smooth Im pleased to say.My breast nurse called me yesterday after I left her a message when I read the news about reconstruction and radiotheraphy She assured me that because I was told at least a year maybe two before reconstruction she thinks I will still be able to have it I was so pleased she said which op is down to the surgeon who will talk through all options and see the condition of my skin nearer the time, so I have hope again. She mentioned that as I am tiny size 8 I should get away with the lesser surgery tissue expansion reconstruction where I would just have implant and not use any muscle/tissue from anywhere else like tummy or back which is a much bigger op and I havent got anything spare lol. I felt much happier knowing this as I have made my mind up I want to look much like I did if that was possible.
I can hardly wait to get tomorrow over, then just 4weeks to start radiotheraphy the end is in sight at last it seems for ever when you just starting. Its snowing again here!! Well Take care all Pumpkins be back on when Im done tomorrow last horrid side effects to suffer Yay
Hi Robby, great your hair is coming back. I have fluff! My family say 'you are not bald!' Well I don't want white fluff for hair, thank you! LOL.
was told they would take my Hickman line out 2 weeks after last chemo, when neutrophils are back up and infection risks are lowered. Can't wait!
had a rubbish day myself yesterday. Felt bloated and uncomfortable, and have a rubbish cough and felt exhausted. Gums are almost white so guess red cells have gone into hiding. Got diarrhoea overnight so feeling drained today. Grandsons birthday today so I need to get a wriggle on.
hope all feel good as possible today x
'Look Good, Feel Better' session was amazing! Talking to some people there though who didn't have the same support, and then thinking last night what a difference this forum has made. i was trying to imagine going through chemo without it, and it would have been so much more scary and isolating. I am a positive person, and have friends, and wrtie the blog - but none of that is the same as being able to share our ups and downs and SE's and doggie stories on here. So THANK YOU gang!!
Jayne, so glad you are feeling better. I'm all for sofa days with Loose Women though! Hope you get your rad date soon.
Gail, hope you get some sleeeeeeep!! Your house must be so clean!!
Good Luck to Raonaid and Jane with last treatment today! Yippee! Hope it all goes smoothly.
Ribby, so glad Princesses party went well. Tiredness is so persistent towards the end of our cyles, I can't imagine ever being unfatigued again! It's nearly Friday and last treatment for you though!
Don't think I'm going for reconstruction, but thinking about you all with the radiotherapy conundrum.
Think my hair may be coming back slightly - daughter thinks I'm delusional!!! Methinks it may come back grey .....hmmmm.....was hoping for the red hair I had as a child!!!!
Out for lunch with a friend today, am hoping I will have an appetite for scones, jam and cream as that usually puts on the lost chemo pounds (lost more this time!) - not sure whether I'll manage it today. Here's hoping!!
Thinking about you all. Love to all A-MAZING Pumpkins xx