Starting chemo next week and I am very scared

[jnegusuk]

Hi Cathie, I start my chemo on the 8th march and I am the same as you anxious and terrified all the time. How did you go on? Was it better when you actually started? Would be interested to know. Janet

[Alpal]

Hi Cathie, Alex here, i have very recently been diagnosed and can fully relate to your feelings and frustrations. Horrendous isn't it. I just wanted you to know that i think there are a fair few of us who have had a very horrid early unwanted Christmas 'present' - but let's stick together and be here for each other. I think it will really help. Lovely warm cosy wishes are coming down the internet highway.........x

[Alpal]

Hi ladies, i'm starting chemo next week having newly confirmed BC which has spread to my lymph nodes and i'm seeing the onc with the results of a CT scan on mon and i'm petrified - what if i'm riddled? This waiting is driving me nuts - how does everyone else cope? But then again ignorance is bliss.............

[Cathie_C]

Thank you June. I am on thread for starting chemo in December. I was supposed to start today but it has been delayed due to an infection on right breast where I had surgery in 24th October so will no doubtwork myself into a state again next week. I am gaining so much from all you wonderful people.
Cathie C

[June22]

Hang in there Cathie,
this is a scary situation to find yourself in, but with the support of family, friends, and the wonderful people on this site ...you will be helped along at each stage and YOU CAN DO IT.
Your oncology team and Breast Cancer Nurse will answer all your questions and explain each stage of treatment to you. There are people on this forum who can help too, and nurses you can phone for more information.

Find the thread for those starting chemo at the same time as you (starting Chemo in December) and join in with conversations there as it is good to share experiences with others who are in the same situation and dealing with the same side effects.

It is perfectly normal to be angry and afraid - it is a whole new experience that throws up so many emotions - but if you check out the threads of those who have been diagnosed ahead of you, it is evident that they all manage to help each other along, and come out the other end of the tunnel.
Coming to terms with what IS and what needs to happen can take a while, but once you have appointments set up, and begin treatments, you will feel more in control again.
I've had 4 FEC and am now on the Carboplatin/Docetaxal mix for 3 or maybe 4 treatments. I grumble at the side effects and I know it is a horrid journey... but I am getting there, and so will you. 🙂

[Cathie_C]

Thank you Kirstie, I hope you are not feeling too horrid on your chemo and thanks for understanding .
Cathie C x

[Kirstie]

Hi Cathie C I too felt the same and still worry now even though I have 4th chemo next week. I kept thinking it will soon be over and after going on this site we arent alone. Take care I hope it goes well for you xxx

[Cathie_C]

Thankyou for replying I am so paranoid at the moment I didn't think anyone would, how foolish I feel. X

[Cathie_C]

Thank you so much for your reply. You are right it is the lack of control I have and I wish I could control being so scared, Part of me knows it's normal to feel like this but doesn't seem to keep it under control. The unknown is very scary and my mind seems to be working overtime. I really want to be brave x

[Cressida]

Cathie - move over to the starting chemo in december thread. Look in having treatment - chemo. We are there for you. xxx

[catseye]

Hi Cathie,
Great that you've joined this forum;I'm sure you find loads of support on here. I think there is a thread for those staring Chemo in December..have you had a look at that?
Reading your post and Mandymid's echoes exactly how I felt in March when my Chemo started. I worried about every little thing: my Picc line being sore, how sick would I feel? Should I try to work? Should I try the cold cap? Why was my hair falling out anyway and would it all be gone before I had time to get a wig? What was my temperature doing? etc etc . You name it, I worried about it!
HOWEVER, now I have finished treatment I look back, and know that while those worries felt very real at the time, they all sorted themselves out and probably were not worth all the time I spent stressing over them.
You are bound to feel anxious, because you are facing a horrible unknown, but looking back I think the best advice I was given was to take one step at a time, to deal with things as they come along and that the waiting is the worst thing. Once the treatment is started, hopefully you will find it's easier to cope with than you thought.
The side effects vary hugely person to person, and remember,people usually post on here when they have a concern or bad side effects so don't assume they will all happen to you. It is really important to discuss any that do happen with your Chemo team, because there are lots of ways they can help.
Wishing you lots of luck for next week.

[mandymid]

Cathie
youre not on your own. I cried lots and lots after my diagnosis and still do a fair bit.
chemo is pretty unpleasant buno you don't feel bad for the whole time. I'm half way through it and its not as bad as I'd imagined it would be.
i too felt a lack of control and can happily now admit that's a problem for me. Actually you do hand over control to them an you just have to. For a control freak like me that wasn't easy.
please don't feel scared. I am told that we will all look back on this and be stronger for it.
good lipuck
mandy
p.m if you want to chat xxx

[Cathie_C]

Hello, my name is Cathie and I have just taken a positive step by joining this forum. I have been for my assessment on the chemo ward today which was all very scary and overwhelming . I start next week with 3 x FEC and then 3 x T. Have done a lot of crying, snapping at my family and I feel in a permanent state of anxiety none of which helps but I can't seem to get it under control. Lost my appetite and lost more weight which again is not helpful. I am so scared.
Cathie C