Hello well at Mum and Dad's at the moment going back hoe today. Alex and Joseph was so happy to see me had to go to the loo so they couldn't see me cry. Still feel that Mum does not understand what it feels like going " oh i know someone who lost 3 stone and all you seems to do is eat!!!!" well yep i am eating cos i hate to be sick on an empty stomach.
All i want to do is sleep, it is an effort to get dressed. I have sent of my stuff for the Haven hopefully i can go and see them soon.
As for my job it is definbitely different!!!! and can cause some excitement but i enjoy it
Love to you all
Sorry to hear people are down, tired, cold and generally a bit miserable. I hope writing about it on here helps. I'm really interested in how people get on with therapies. I've been offered them but not taken them up yet. I feel like I've given my body up to the NHS and it isn't really mine anymore. Its hard to see the old me behind the scars, baldness, knackered arm, plastic lines, dressings and flab when I look in the mirror.
Not sure my OH can see beyond all that either some days. Friends say how well I look, went to work yesterday and everyone thinks because I look OK and have some good days that everyday is a breeze.No point in explaining though because people can't understand.
Glad I'm not the only one who's cold. Back to living in my blanket again. Have people got really dry skin? I feel like my face has aged 10 years and my hands look like a geriatics.
Big hugs to everyone for some better days and maybe just accepting the crap ones.
Being an old hand at this chemo lark (had 4th last week !!!) thought I would just say my 3rd was definitely the worse. Felt awful for almost a week after and worried so much the 4th would be even worse but actually it was very similar to 1st and 2nd with only 48 hours of feeling wiped out.Emotionally all of them have been a rollercoaster. Some days I feel strong but others just want to curl up under the duvet and have a damned good cry. Still at least I am positive........ positive I am fed up with it !!!
I got so fed up with people saying it was halfway as well and just wanted to tell them to shut up !! Even now knowing the chemo is more than halfway done doesn't make me want to shout with joy as have 2 more sessions and then rads and then find out if it has actually worked.
People mean well but they just don't know what it's like. Have 2 friends who have been through breast cancer but they only had rads so even they don't really appreciate what we are all going through.
Well it's sunny again so should be feeling cheerful but having a bit of a down moment right now. Got a mate coming over later so a glass of wine and a moan will help me buck up !!
Take care all
So it's not just me being pedantic about the 'halfway' point. Thank you!
Jackie - lots of luck getting through the days till your results - its so tough waiting. And good luck with fec tmrw - don't go listening to us, you may have an ok time on this one - it seems a bit random how it gets to you, I think.
Hi all just back from bllod test before 3rd FEC tomorrow.Kayh thanks for comment re weighing had been wondering.Mary sounds such a little gem.Kay I did get sent to Occ H as someone in HR clocked the reason I had had some days off. It was the most unhelpful thing ever after 10 min phone consultation the Advisor then wrote that in her clinical opinion my prognosis was guarded and uncertain so that is now on my file the fact that the Onc does not agree is neither here nor here except to me. Sorry about the moan.Suzanne your massage sounds as though it was agreat emotional release for you hope it has lasting benefits. Jayne I was very against the idea of counselling but then had 2nd thoughts and have had an assessment with a psychotherapist who was lovely and am booked in for 6 sessions at the macmillan centre where I will have rads starting next Mon so hope you have a positive experienc .Hope you have a good experience at the Haven Good timing as I will be awaiting the MRI scan and results. Onc cannot feel lump or node but MRI will dictate next course of action. Ons said he was caught out by MRI scan last time ie. after 1st 3 chemos which showed no change and he could not feel lump or node then either. So feel more anxious about that than 3rd FEC.Louise am also full of admiration for your expertise although I am a nurse too have no MH exoperienc and certainly not the forensic RMN bit.I live in Berks so we know which special hospital is on my patch and have had a few dealings with staff there in the past.Am sitting in bed looking out at the sunshine just felt to chilly and tired after blood test that I got back into bed. LOL to all Jackie
Of course you can have a rant you are entitled. There is no way we can be positive all the time and stay sane. It took me a bit longer this time to recover, only just getting back to normal.
I know i think it's that half way mark that seems to be issue, so near but so far, i don't find it comforting when people say that.
I hope you get better soon Sue sending you much love.
Hi again ladies
Does anybody mind if I join in with the mood of the day? I had my 3rd FEC on Friday and I just feel so tired and down. Everything tastes terrible and I am so fed up with all of this.
Like Suzanne, I keep getting told that I'm half-way through......but its not half-way is it? It still feels like there's such a long, long road to go down and I have had enough of my whole life revolving around breast cancer!
Sorry for the rant......I just needed to have a moment and I always try to stay so positive around everybody at home.
I will let you know how it goes. I wasn't going to go there as it was a bit far away, am in Harrow. But when i called yesterday the woman was so lovely on the phone and they set up an initail meeting and treatment plan for you. I am going to try to go to the open day too that is soon. I will try anything to get through this and make it a bit easier. I think it is good to hear that other people feel the same, i called the help line yesterday and the woman said everything i was saying was totally normal and how most people feel, made me feel much better.
Hope things are picking up for you a bit. Louises job is amazing i have so much respect for all nurses, they don't get enough credit for the responsibility they have.
i'd been thinking about going to the Haven, have heard really good things about it. And was wondering if anyone else was thinking of counselling - sometimes when I'm in a positive mood I worry it would bring me down, on the other hand its still early days and there's still so much stuff to deal with. Let us know how it goes.
Know what you mean about being positive on here - I usually come on here to be reassured/cheered up so I feel a bit bad to grumble, but I think it is good for us to know that we often feel the same. Def makes me feel less lonely.
Louise - I just googled forensic psychiatric nursing (in my ignorance!) - wow, what an amazing thing you do...
Thanks Susanne and Louise,it's good to know that you feel like that too was thinking i was going mad! It's hard to know what to say on here as i never want to get cought up in being bnegative but sometimes i think it's good just to say how yur feeling. I have spent the last couple of days trying to find ways to make this more bearable, going to the Haven clinic for Acupuncture and seeing a counsellor next week. It is such a big thing to be going through, so many things to deal with at the same time.
I hope you are all well today and sending you all a big hug.
Good to see you back Jayne - was wondering too if all was ok. Have been really down too if any consolation - sounds like a few of us are feeling much the same. This one has just knocked me for 6. Have no energy at all, hardly been dressed since Thurs, and feel so nasty, toxic, freezing cold and just don't recognise myself. People keep saying 'hey, how fantastic you're half way through your treatment', but a) I feel lousy, b) it doesn't feel like half way because I'm expecting it to get harder, and c) I've still not got thru the SE's from no3 so that's not actually half way anyway is it?!
Went for a massage and some reiki with a comp therapist from my local day hospice yesterday. It was really lovely, but I came home and just howled and cried all night! Is first time I've got that upset in weeks. I think it just felt like the nicest, kindest thing I've done to my body all year, and it really hit me what tough stuff we're going through. And perhaps the relaxation was an emotional release...or maybe as my husband thought when he saw me, it was all a bit of a bad idea!
Hope you're all feeling bit brighter today. Are your kids back today Louise? Hope u get some nice big hugs. K - Mary sounds lovely - seems like she's a real little friend to you. How special.
Take care all, lovely to hear from you as always
big hugs Suzanne x
I get weighed each time and they calculate the dose from that. Think some of it is because they weighed me 2 weeks before 1st chemo and despite me telling them I had lost weight they gave me the dose based on the original weigh in and I ended up with low white cell count.Now have to have injection day after chemo to stop white cells going too low.Luckily I don't have to go back to hosp for it as my son injects me !!
Have the same situation at work re incidents of sick leave rather than actual days which is a bit crazy especially as you get a warning if you have 3 incidents which could be only 3 different days and yet I have been off for 4 months and had no contact from HR at all !!!
Let's hope the sun is shining again tomorrow
Hi Spags Thanks for this. I have had GCSF for 3 days after each chemo. The last WBC showed pre chemo levels even my Onc commented I had only just started taking the Manuka so thought it might be a blip so didn't mention it. Tomorrows blood test could be interesting tho'.Louise didn't know it was called the Bradford scale. I too have been advised that having had last week off I was due back today then off on Weds chemo day plus Thurs was 2 incidents of sick leave and having all this week off as well is more days but only one incident.Not sure If I can be deployed though as 75% of my team have left ie. 3 out of 4 so we are at a risk status and I am to have all the phones diverted to me on Fri.Hope everyone is feeling at least a bit better, expect I have all this to come again after Weds. One question though are any of you on a standard dose or are you being weighed before each chemo and the dose being calculated from that? There were a few comments about (mainly I think) weight loss). LOL to all Jackie
hey glad to hear from you Jayne, sorry that you have not had a brill time since last chemo. that feeling of . Tbeing alone is hard to explain because although you have support from others they don't actually understand all that is going on and although people can say "i kniw soomeone who went through it" it was not them.
Although feel less tired amd feeling really cold don't want to be back in A & E this week so am kjeeping an eye on my temp which is ok @ 36.2 even want to put the heating on which is so not me.
I unfortunately cannot go back to work due to the environment i work in. The risk of infection fromn my patients and aslo assault would be too high., Also i cannot ask to staff to be keeping an eye out for me when they have to look out for themselves. I m a forensic psychaitric nurse so risk to high for me to return to work at the mo.Although this "fitness to work " could mean redeployment elsewhere. Also we have something in thr NHS called the Bradford Score which means it better to have have one absences of sickness rather than several absences. so for me it is bettrer to stayt off sick at the mo.
starting to feel a little more normal again so think we are the same Louise. always seem to get shattered the weekend after chemo and sleep loads. Also get really weird scary dreams, not sure if that is chemo or just me going mad !!
Got the excitement of a visit to the tip today as my son mowed the lawn for me yesterday. I certainly know how to live !!
Murdo2323 - agree totally with you. Have felt very lonely this week and quite emotional. Feel a bit like I am losing touch with the outside world and friends especially. They were great at the start but I guess they have their own lives as well and somehow I don't seem to have much contact with them or get the invites out the way I used too.
Part of me wants to go back to work just for the contact with other humans but know I am not strong enough at the moment as my job is very stressful at the best of times !!
Well no sun today but still hoping to get out for a while with Mary. She is such a good kid and never complains when I am not strong enough to do much. Think she is 10 going on 30 at times !!
Let's hope we all start feeling stronger this week.
PS - Been very bad with food as just eat what I want when I want lately. At first I was very good and ate only healthily but now keep eating junk. Have had a problem with weight and been moaned at by onc nurse to put some back on which perhaps is why I am eating rubbish. Nothing tastes the same anyway !
Hope you are all well.
Not been having a good time feeling really down but trying to pick myself up. I find it so hard in the chemo week and feel totally alone. The steroids made me really angry this time, don't know where that came from. Starting to feel a bit better today and working from home so all good. Is anybody else feeling down? It's hard as i don't want to get caught up in it and start feeling sorry for myself. Any tips??
Spud the dug
Last time i got obsessed with food and what i was eating. I ate a really varied diet with lots of fruit and veg and wholefoods and also had a spoon of Manuka honey a day. i don't know if it was coincidence but all my levels were up from the last time and i felt as if i had pretty much fully recovered from the last chemo. Good on you for getting on with things, hope that helps.
Well so far i feel normal not wiped out like the last couple of days. hpwever i did sleep for the majority of the day. spoke to my boyslast night and Alex the oldest told me he missed me that sent me of into a puddle of tears. hopefully today is the start of my climb to normality before my next cycle. I haven't seen or heard Jayne on here too Theresa hope it is just a little blip or she is having lotsof fun in this lovely weather.
Anyway love to you all for a beautiful and rested day
Hi libby I also had the FEC D regime which you are going through what I would say is make sure you eat well I became obsessed with food going through the regime and as I had a 1 year old son I was worried about infection as he was about to start nursery just speak to them and ask about GCF injections I used to get them 7 days after my chemo for 7 days which was a bit of a pain as I hate needles but they did the job and kept the white blood count up to enable me to get through the treatment. This changed slightly when I changed on cycle 4 to the Taxotere. I was lucky no mouth ulcers etc but I kept eating my usual + lots of cakes, scones now trying to shift all the extra pounds. Keep positive its amazing what a positive mind can get you through.
Hi spud-the-dug and all Re the white cells I also understood that it was a physiologigal reaction. Mine were wiped out with the first round of chemo and I was called back for repeat blood test on the morning of my 2nd chemo.Had no idea as didn't feel any different seems to be a silent SE. Queried this with onc and he said there was nothing I could/should/shouldn't do. My WBC were on the low side of normal anyway. have had GCSF on day 5,6,7 after all chemos since and also now take Manuka honey. Glad you have Mouse but why is your horse called Mouse?Perhaps pace yourself with the riding bit sounds like it is your normality and there is a lot to be said for that. Sounds like some good meals have been partaken of to-day Mm crumble and cheesecake am v. envious.Erica and Teresa hope you feel better tomorrow.LOL Jackie
Hi thanks my roast was loooooovvvveely ! followed by crumble AND cheesecake.... I think i overdid it with the cheesecake though...lol
Sorry to hear your cream crackerd today Erica, lets hope you feel a bit better tomorrow, to be honest i´m really knackard now i think again ivé been overdoing things, under my arm really huts now!
Has anyone heard from Jayne, she hasn´t been on for a while? Just a tad worried, hope she´s ok....
Love Teresa xxx
Oh dear Erica - sorry you got wiped out today - I'd just been thinking it was nice for you to have been feeling ok after your stressful week. Hope you feel better tomorrow. And hope everyone else picks up for the new week. Take care. S x
Thanks Esme, I'm thinking of entering a 33km competitive ride in May and I know my best mate is going to give me hell if I do but it gives me something to think about other than the horridness of chemo and my other best mate is my horse and she looks after me well. I nearly put her out on loan because of financial problems(my work only pay statutory sick pay ie practically nothing) but luckily they have made it possible to go back part-time and I'm remortgaging the house. For me, it's been the right decision 'cos without Mouse I would have been so depressed.I'm hoping it was just unlucky that my white cells were down last time and they will be ok for the next round because as long as I can ride 20 miles I know I'm very much still alive!
Just read your post and have to say I'm well impressed at you still doing all that riding! I guess the best thing is to listen to your body and if you feel up to getting on with things then why not? But if you feel tired, try not to push yourself too much.
My own personal experience of chemo was not brilliant and when my white cells were low the doc said there was nothing to do except wait for them to go back up again. Which was a bit of a pain as it delayed the last two chemos, but got there in the end!
I found the rads a lot easier than chemo, although have been quite tired an fatigued at times, but that may just be an accumulation of everything.
Hope everything goes well for you and everyone else here.
Love Esme x
Thankyou Erica (lots) I was low on white cells last time but doc said that nothing I did made a difference, it was just a physiological response. My friends queried this and my gut feeling is that it does make a difference. Not sure which to believe. Did your doc tell you otherwise?
Total crash and burn today - 5pm still in PJs, didn't get up til 1pm - no one cooking me dinner today, boo hoo!! Enjoy the roasts and bacon butties.
Hi Spud, I do what ever you feel you can cope with that makes you feel like you've got a life. Other people will always try to protect you and that is a lovely feeling. But there's always the trade off of not having enough blood cells to have the chemo and then getting behind with the treatment.
I've got no idea about rads, I've heard they wipe you out but don't really know.
Oh dear -feel like I just gatecrashed someone else's party. Never mind-guess I'll find out abpout the rads when I get there. Bye bye
Actually managed to get dressed today. Got my son and his girlfriend over so just cooked loads of bacon butties. Had forgotten how much he eats !!
Really want to go out walking but know I would feel awful if I do !!
Planning to go to the garden centre tomorrow and have a planting spree. Mary wants to grow strawberries and tomatoes.
Hoping some of Erica's energy passes to me fairly quickly though have been better this time than the 3rd session so I shouldn't complain too much.
Think Erica is having our energy. Still feel wiped out did not get up until hafve ten. have just had breakie and still in jim jams hope to find my energy sometime soon.
Love your roast Theresa and you your soup Suzanne
Yum, would love someone to cook me a roast! Am just making some watercress soup (without any recipe so who knows what it will be like!) and just hoping the iron will give me some energy?...
Am super-wiped out this time - not just me though is it?
Hello all, I´m going out for sunday roast today round a freinds house so YIPPEEE no cooking !!!! Just hope I can taste it!
love to all, Teresa xxx
I must have stolen everyone's energy today. Been doing manic gardening and house cleaning and tidying all day. Forgot to take steroids so haven't bothered with them. So can't blame my super energy on them. Taste buds have disappeared already though.
What a great thing to look forward to Suzanne, a new life in Aus.
I am sending you all my extra energy before my family kill me for nagging them to get tidy too!
Hope you all feel better soon,
Hi-haven't been on here for a while. Halfway through now 3 FEC down, 3 to go.Downside-end up throwing up so violently GP has to give me cyclizine shot the day after for last two chemos and my veins are packing up.Positives are I'm working part time and riding 4-6 times a week, and last round managed a 20 mile endurance ride and a dressage test. But the problem is my mates keep nagging me about overdoing it,especially since my white cells were down last time but it gives me a psychological boost that life has stayed fairly normal, just get a bit tired now and again. I really want to do another endurance ride in May but I sense disapproval from those who care. Are they right? Does anyone know does chemo have to get worse as it goes along or can it stay the same? Two people have told me the rads are worse than the chemo-are they right? I'm trying to plan which rides I might be able to enter and if rads are that bad some of my possible dates might not work. Finally don't know if anyone has had the peculiar feeling I have of actually being happier than before I was diagnosed. Never realised I had so many friends or how brilliant my life is. So many people have been so great-I've even got a free stay in Ecuador lined up for when it's all over,how cool is that!!! Doesn't feel too great the day after chemo when I'm throwing up every ten minutes though lol!
know how you feel. Have been totally wiped out today and barely got off the settee. Snacked a bit but couldn't be bothered to make much effort.
Even Mary has seemed worn out today which at least meant she didn't want to do anything either.
Hoping I can be a bit more lively tomorrow.
ohhh how nice Suzanne. Well have had a rough day today so tired have slept on and off throughout the day. still feel absolutely knackered even wth dose of streoids which i had taken at 1 an hour later than best. than god mum and dad have the boys today as i don't think i would have been a good mum today.
Spain sounds good Theresa but will have to see if back at work then or not
i am so tired cannot be bothered to eat a proper meal or drink
Yes, the Spain holiday sounds like a fab idea, but we're aiming to resume our plans to move to Australia in October, so hope to be busy getting ready to go.
I found my lump one week before we were due to get on the plane in January this year! So how happy will I be to get there? Of course if any of you fancy stopping by in Melbourne once we're there (fingers crossed cos I won't believe it till we land), you must keep in touch. Suzanne x
What a wonderful sunny day, been out in the garden managed to break two nails and have had a sit in the sun and cried and felt sorry for myself. But actually feel better for it.
Would abosolutely love a holiday in Spain but will hopefully be back at work in September!!
Hope everyone else has had a good day and has a good one tomorrow - think the weather should be good too.
Hi All, Anyone else interested in a holiday in Spain??? It´s in September for a week, full board etc.... really good hotel....?
well it is afternoon now and hello everyone. Especially hello to LaLa, Janey and Tina. This is a really good thread its a place where we laugh, cry and rant together. Well its is day 3 now after 3rd FEC and am feeling ok. felt slightly nauseous last night however i was able to alleviate this with some Green and Blacks and some Gen eHunt on Ashes to Ashes!!!!!
Erica there was no hunky male nurses on chemo day, no male nurses at all :o(. My ons is quite fit ia posh totty kind of way.lovely warm hands when he has a grope.
Well no children as they are at grandma and grandads am missing them like crazy but enjoying th tidy house.
Lizzie my bother in law is in the RAF regiment and will be doing 2nd tour of Aghanistan from June. It is hard however old ythey are but we have to give them all the support they can.
Have a lovely sunny day
Thanks for all the nice messages, I knew I'd log on here this morning and you lot would cheer me up!
Welcome too from me to Lala, Janey and Tina - this is such a good thread to be on, it really helps such a lot, and I know I don't really know everyone on here but I feel like we're mates! And I'd definitely agree with the others who say how empowering it is to shave hair off. Once its done you really stop worrying about it.
Am feeling better today, tho I hardly slept and just got no energy. But hubby has taken the kids to visit his stepbrother and family - we were all supposed to be going - its about an hour away, but last night I decided I'd rather they came here, then I could slob on my own sofa or just put in an appearance when I felt like it. But it seemed like they couldn't really put the effort in to come to us, so I was a bit miffed. And I haven't even seen them since I was diagnosed. Really, some of the 'anything we can do's...' are a bit lacking in substance sometimes aren't they? Anyway, it'll probably do me more good to have the house to myself for a few hours. Just was a bit glum to be missing out on a nice day out.
Liz - must be really tough dealing with your daughter joining the army at the best of times, never mind right now. Sounds like you're doing the right thing. I can't imagine (mine are only 1 & 3) so a while till I have to think about that! And totally know what you mean about all the questions etc when you go out.
Gosh, I'm a bit surprised about some of your chemo days - they seem to have conditioned me into expecting a long day every time- I've always been there about 10-10.30 and never leave before 5.30!
Anyway, enjoy this lovely sunshine and hope you have nice weekends
The sun certainly seems to help and bucks me up a bit.
4 days since 4th chemo and starting to feel totally shattered. Curled up in bed at 9pm last night and only just got up. Still getting so hot at night and have very strange dreams !!
Erica, can't have Hickman line as I have a blood disorder which increases the chance of a blood clot so apparently it is too dangerous for me.
Still trying to do little things with Mary. Took her and a friend to the pub for a bag of crisps yesterday which was such a small thing but they loved it. Quite enjoyed being sat in the sun with a glass of wine but not sure the wine was a good idea as had a banging headache after it !!
Not sure what today will bring as just feel like I want to go back to bed. Just want to feel normal again !!
Hi girls, had my second Fec yesterday and i have never felt so tired. Had to go for a sleep when i came home, felt a wee bit nauseus at night but that past. Didnt have any energy to do anything last night so just sat curled up on the couch. Today i feel a "little " better so hopefully will remain like it for the rest of the day, hope everyone else is doing ok.
Hi hope you are all feeling a little better and your side effects are reducing.
K I am day 10 after 2nd chemo (EC) have another 4 to go then rads and herceptin. (sounds ages to the finish now I have written it down)
Hope you all have a good weekend and thanks for the welcome. X
Hope you had a better night last night - that's really disappointing to be more sick than on previous sessions despite the added medication. I definitely think the nausea is one of the worst symptons - although I suppose the hair loss is up there too. I'm really not looking forward to the extra steroids with the Tax - partly cos it's also a sign of how bloody toxic it is that they have to give you them in the first place.
Also just wondered if any of you have found that using eye drops helped with gritty eyes - my seem to be getting gradually worse which may be a sign that my eyelashes are about to go?
Someone was also asking about putting on false eyelashes and a few people have told me that it's much easier if someone else does them (I reckon a friend rather than OH would be a safer bet!).
A gorgeous sunny morning here in London so I'm off to the garden to plant some herbs.
Love to everyone,
Glad to see some new people on the thread. Hope that those of us that are getting old hands can help you out and support you in any way.
Louise, that was such a long day - I was in and out in 2 hours yesterday, using the Hickman line made it so easy. It might be a bit naff having dressings poking out my clothes and a plastic tube jammed in my bra but it was fab yesterday not having my arm jabbed in any way.
Why is it not possible for you to have a line Kay to save your veins?
Sorry you've been so sick Suzanne, what a bum deal. Hope your SEs goes really quickly.
I'm enjoying not having the gob stopper thing which stopped 2 days before next chemo but doesn't. I have felt really OK so far - loads of gardening, pub lunch with friends today.
Hope the nice weather is cheering everyone up however rubbish the SEs are.
Love and hugs to all,
Hi suzanne, sorry to hear not so good hun, lots of cyber hugs ... xxx
Liz, totally understand how you feel, it is all the questions that does your head in... Don´t worry about OH, he will be fine, take it easy, and as my OH tells me it´s not about him it´s about ME !!! Think on it .... xxx
THANKGOD !!! I thought it was just me swolled the golf ball, that will teach me to keep me mouth shut! LOL.... x
Welcome to Lala, Janey and Tina, your right we do have a giggle at times, it was keeps us going!
My hair started to fall out on the 12th day of the first FEC... I think we are all different...
Good luck, you could always do what most of us did! shave it off, take some control, beleive me it´s quite liberating..
Hope everyones well and had a good day.. xxx
Sounds like a rough one this time, i have not been sick at all on this one, but my mouth is so horrible nothing tastes nice, dont even fancy chocolate!!!
The family thing is really hard, i have twin daughters and one has now decided she wants to join the army and is now in training to get in for september, am devasted but am trying to support her and encourage her, when all i want to do is clutch her to my reduced chest and never let her go. My OH is trying hard, but has no idea how i feel - latest is do i want to go to the pub tomorrow night and see a gig - well i dont know do i - its not just the feeling sick, its all the questions from people who want to know how you are and when are you going to be back to work and having to put a brave face on it all. I told him i would think about it and he gets all snotty and has now gone up his allotment in a bad mood. Boy its like having three kids in this house.
Love to all. Liz xx
Well, no 3 done and out of the way. Not been nice - was up all night being sick every few mins. How strange after I'd been sick on no 1, upped the drugs for no 2, but then worse than ever this time. Oh well, seem to be past the worst bit - lay very still for an hour trying to get the drugs to stay down a few times, and it worked eventually. Now just weary and can't decide if I'm ready for food.
Louise - can't believe the amount of steroids we have to take next time, like you said! Am not going to sleep a wink! Are u getting the discharge checked out? Am sure it'll be nothing to worry about but if you're like me I just have to rush off at my first inkling of a worry to put my mind at rest. Let us know. x
Take it easy everyone - Liz, I'd just say don't feel pressured into weekends and bikerides if you don't feel like it - there's plenty of time for that after treatment and this time is supposed to be about YOU! Know it's hard with a family. Big hug.
Love to you all. It doesn't feel like it right now to me, but we ARE getting through this!