Stay of execution on mastectomy

[Guest user]

Sounds like a smiliar story to mine. I was told back in Feb that I had to have a MX by the first surgeon I met (6cm lobular tumour). Somehow ended up at a different hospital with a top surgeon (long story) who instead did a WLE to remove the lump only.
After the first surgery the results were not good - they didn't get clear margins in two places. I thought this would mean a MX but my surgeon said no - and did a re-excision. Again the results were not great - still didn't have clear margins in one place. At this stage he sent me off for chemo and last week I had a 3rd surgery and he phoned me just this morning to say that it is all gone. Finally clear margins !!!! So please don't despair - hang in there, I am proof it can be done.
I have no regrets of doing it this way and not having a MX, I discussed it at length with my surgeon (who I would say is one of the top guys in the field in this country) and the medical evidence is clear that having a MX has no advantage over WLE with rads when it comes to beating the cancer and return rates. The problem with method as you say is the cosmetic result - I was very lucky, as in my case with each excision and re-excision they have used a lipo-filling technique, taking fat from my legs and injecting into my breast. After two surgeries apart from a slightly flat area on one side you wouldn't have known the difference looking at me naked, wiht a bra on you would never tell (and that is with removing over 6cm of tumour). Hopefully the result will be as good after this last time, I'll go back after 6 months and they will assess wether I need a bit more lipofilling or a reduction/lift to one or both sides. There are many options!
Don't dwell on what has been done - just keep looking to the future and the light at the end of the tunnel.
V xx

[RevCat]

Hello IWTL,

Well, hurrah for your surgeon who found you the last minute alternative which has turned out to have really good results for you. It sounds as if he has given you good advice - and chemo and rads whilst not the most fun thing you will ever do are completely doable. You are definitely allowed to get upset when the chemo starts, it is a massive thing, but just try to take one day at a time, plan in lovely things to do when you can, and avoid the evil monster Google!

It's hard for you to imagine now, but in a few months this will all be ancient history and you will be looking forward to a healthy future. A little over two years ago, I began this path, and was petrified. My wonderful surgeon has always been straight with me, he cannot give me any guarantees, but he also said to me on the day of my diagnosis, "we will talk about this day in five years time" - so far, so good...

Big hug, and try to enjoy the time between now and chemo as best you can.

[Guest user]

Don't we all wish we had a crystal ball sometimes? On the other hand if we knew what was coming would we have the courage to go ahead? I know that I can only cope one day at a time and would not want to know what is coming!

Best of luck with the chemo

Liz x

[Guest user]

I saw the surgeon yesterday. He said that the margins in the second WLE were clear and the 3 core biopsies from the other quadrants were clear.
He said I now won't need another operation, although I will need chemo and radiotherapy.
I pray that I'm doing the right thing.
I've had mood swings. Before I saw the surgeon I had almost convinced myself I should have gone through with the MX.
I would surely have to be totally unlucky for every sample to have no tumour in it, wouldn't I?
I desperately wanted not to have a mastectomy unless it was absolutely necessary. At the same time I know that there is a possibility that something is somewhere else. The surgeon said that there is no way of knowing 100% in any way because yuou would have to be able to take a breast out and look at it and then put it back in again, which is impossible, and even then it would only be at that day. I totally get that.
I feel relieved now. I know I will get upset again later when the chemo is due to start. I know only I can make the decision. I wish I could see the future.

[tracyld]

Sending you strength to keep fighting. Let us all know how you are feeling. I think from your latest message on Friday that you are gradually coming to terms with what may happen to your body and yes a lot of ladies walking around in the street, the shops and the supermarket have all had breast cancer and we do not know! We all make the best of our bodies and learn to wear the right clothes and things that flatter us. We are thinking of you. Love Tracy xxx

[Guest user]

Thank you for your posts and wishes seems inadequate. Now whatever happens, happens. I hope I can keep myself together. Love to you all.

[Alto]

Ditto to what everyone else has said. My surgeon said pretty much the same thing as Alix's. He told me that a delay of three weeks in starting treatment wouldn't worry him at all, but he wouldn't really be happy with three months. After all, in most cases the tumour has taken several years to get to the stage where it's detectable, so a few more weeks or so won't make any difference.

Hugs to you, and well done to your surgeon for making the suggestion and you for having the courage to do it. At least now you know you've given yourself every possible chance of avoidng the MX and if you do end up having it you'll know it really was absolutely necessary. I don't know about you, but I plan to be around for an awful lot longer. There's too much more I want to do in my life and a few extra scars and less breast tissue certainly isn't going to stop me!

Jane xxx

[AlixJ]

Hi IWTL
Just wanted to add that you shouldn't worry about the delay putting you at risk. I was told by my surgeon and BCN that in the scheme of things weeks (or even a few months) are not that significant. Sending you hugs.
Alix xx

[dib]

Ditto what revcat has said,best wishes to you,
Love Di.xx

[RevCat]

Hello again IWTL, and thank you so much for your post and for your honesty. Lots of poeple will recongise the terror you epxress, but few would ablew to epxress it publicly.

Well done for going through with the surgery, and hats off to the surgeon who found the alternative at the eleventh hour. Now you have a little more breathing space to come to terms with what may happen, and to check out more about the options.

What the others have said is excellent and there is nothing I can add. Be gentle with yourself and use this as a space to vent rather than bottling things up or lashing out at those closest to you.

Gentle hugs.

[Quail]

Oh Iwanttolive what a wonderful surgeon--it sounds to me like what you need is time and patience. Just take it one step at a time, and accept LOTS of hand holding. That is what we are all here for. Your posts always make me cry, cause I remember how scared I was. Keep firm hold of that imagination, petal, we are all trying to tell you that this is more possible than your mind is letting you believe right now. I have been surprised at how easy it has been to manage without a right breast. At first it was odd and ugly and uncomfortable, but it has only been a year and my scar is almost invisible, and I can honestly say that the surgery was the easiest part, and I didn't have reconstruction, which most other women on here seem to have. Deep breaths, and make a list of positive things in your life right now (oh yes there are!) that you can try to focus on when the fear swamps your mind. YOU CAN DO IT--I have every faith.

[applestreet]

Hi
I'm glad you've been given time to think..but..if it comes down to Mx in the end..I just want to say..I am living..LIVING..with one breast and at first..I was heartbroken..I cried and cried..but eventually you get used to your new body image..and for me..my gremlin went that had set up home in my right breast so I was relieved..it was a no brainer..I had too much to miss if I messed about with WLE..my daughters growing up..my little grandson..my breast wasn't worth losing that...this is just my perspective on it and everyone is different....sending lots of hugs to you and hope for a good result..but if not..it's not the end of the world..it's just the start of a different phase of your life..you'll still be here and that's what's important...

[nannabarb]

IWTL, so pleased you seem to have found a least a little peace with your situation, as Tracy says, we are all thinking of you and sending ****HUGS****
(and we have all said and thought things like that, its all part of the process. No need for apologies here xxx)

[tracyld]

Well at least you have been given the chance which I think is Great News !! I had no choice as the tumour was nearly 5cm and I am small breasted so no chance of a lumpectomy . I did not even want to waste time seeing the oncoplastic breast surgeon to discuss a reconstruction but the BCN made me the appointment. I just wanted to get rid of the Cancer as quick as possible and was really scared to wait another week but when I met my surgeon she was wonderful , reassuring , calm and decisive. I trusted her and knew that it would all be okay so I decided to wait the extra time and she did a Skin Sparing Masectomy with immediate tissue expander in place and inflated during the operation, so I never ever woke up flat chested , I still had a small mound. My Tissue expander was pumped up over several months , then I went back into hospital for the permanent prothesis.
I am sure that they will look after you , no matter what happens and what decision you make. They are professional and used to dealing with ladies who are nervous, agitated and apprehensive. You will be given the strength to cope over the next few days as you await your results. Take some big deep breaths and stay calm. Focus on the world around you and keep busy !!
We are all thinking of you , sending you big big hugs and positive vibes. Lots of love Tracy xxx

[Guest user]

Anyone who has seen posts by me knows I am struggling and desperately afraid. I was supposed to be having the mastectomy on Tuesday 6 November. I woke up screaming. Well I went to the hospital with my OH anyway. It was a different hospital to where I had the excision as it had to be a different normal surgeon as the oncoplastic surgeon works only at this other hospital.
I was in such a state that the breast care nurse asked me if I wanted to cancel the operation. I said no, I knew I had to have an operaton. So the next thing the surgeon said they would carry out another wider excision and take surgical biopsies from the other quadrants. It was his idea. (The other surgeon had said there was no choice. 100 multidisciplinary teams would say the same.) The Tuesday surgeon said that this was it. There is no way you could in his words, "keep nibbling away like at a cherry" and that you would get a bad cosmetic result anyway. He made it clear that if the operation failed (presume he meant couldn't get clear margins) and/or if they found anything in the biopsies then it has to be a mastectomy.
So that is where I am now.
I am relieved at the moment. I know that I could not carry on arguing and being foolish if the results are bad. The relief is probably only a reprieve. I think I know the inevitable. The relief is tinged with fear, that I may have jeopardised my life by slowing up treatment. The results are in two weeks time. I hope that doesn't make much difference. I suppose they could not do the mastectomy due to my mental state.
I hope they will still let me have the tissue expander if I do have to have a mastectomy. I hope the oncoplastic surgeon won't change his mind.
I hope I can have the strength to go through with a mastectomy.
I am sorry I said I couldn't see a life without a breast. That's not true is it. It's life for too many women. And they are offering me a pretend breast, hopefully.