65.8K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

17 REPLIES 17
bumblegirl
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi pippadog. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this and sorry to hear you lost your mum to this awful disease. Try to remain positive. It could turn out to be nothing and if it is something it sounds early and they can do so much nowadays. The waiting is definitely the worst bit. My mum has her lumpectomy on Wednesday finally but it feels like we have been waiting so long. If you want to chat feel free to pm me xx
pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Thank you

 

xx

hadders
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Waiting is so hard isn't it?  Really hope you get some news soon.  Sending you lots of love xx

MelMc68
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Feeling your feelings... Hope it won't be long until you get some news. X
pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi

 

Thank you for responding. Yes I am still waiting. Going mad in the process lol. I'm carrying the phone with me round the house just in case the hospital calls. I'm just walking my dog and knitting, although my hands are shaking so much the stitches keep falling off lol. The problem is I keep reliving in my minds eye the whole process when I lost my mum from breast cancer as well. So it feels as if I'm dealing with my mums breast cancer as well as this fear with myself. As you know from experience this is truly a horrendous time.

 

Thank you so much for your support.

 

Laura  

MelMc68
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi pippadog,

Any news yet? You're going through that horrible waiting game. Being at home all day certainly makes it harder. You end up clock- watching. Keep busy as much as you can. The waiting is the hardest part. I hope you get some news soon. Take care, Mel. xxx
pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Finally working after hubby reinstalling internet provider 

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Just checking working

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi

 

Still no news, but I suppose its still a bit early. Feeling extremes of fear, sickness, then feeling calm and positive. I feel I don't want to see anyone, but also I'm feeling alone. Its worse because I don't work so I am alone at home most of the day. Evenings are the worst. I spend most of my time knitting, watching tv and housework. My friend is coming to take me for a coffee tomorrow, so at least I'll get out. But I'm not sure if I really want to see anyone. Does that make sense? Mornings are always best and thank goodness for my sleeping tabs, so at least I can get some kind of sleep.

 

Anyway, if theres anyone there thank you for reading and big hugs to all of us in this dreadful boat.

 

xx

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi

 

Thanks Jo for replying. I did call the helpline today and spoke to a lovely lady. Hoping to here something soon.

 

Laura

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi Pippadog,

 

Glad you're now able to post on the forums.  It sounds to me as though you need some support here, which I am sure your fellow forum users will give you as soon as they read your post.  I know you say you can't talk to anyone but our helpline staff are specially trained to help in this kind of situation and won't be at all put out if you do 'fall apart', they're here to support you through this.  If you find you can give them a ring, calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2.

 

If not, then you can also try our Ask the Nurse email service, if you feel better putting your thoughts/feelings down in writing, someone from the nursing team will reply to you, but obviously this takes a little longer.

 

Here's the link for more info on the helpline and ask the nurse service.

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-services/ask-us-your-questions

 

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hi

Yes it looks like I finally have access on the forums even if it is only occassionally. I am using somebody elses pc. 

Anyway, I have a family history of breast cancer. I lost my mum to breast cancer in 1985. She was 49, she developed bc the same age as me 45 or 46. I have no living relatives and I never had brothers and sisters. I have a wonderful husband, no kids and went through a premature menopause at 32.

Anyway I have been accepted on the NHS FOR a preventative masectomy and I'm on the list. They have said it could take up to a year.

November I had my annual mammogram and the radiographer was off for three weeks so I did'nt get my results until that time. There showed some calcifications on my left breast. Immediately I switched to my private health insurance as I couldn't cope with the NHS waiting and saw the same consultant I'd seen through the nhs, hopefully to get the tests done quicker. He suggested as the area was so small an MRI would be the best course of action. I had the MRI AND THE RADIOGRAPHER told me the same day the results were clear. I went back to see the consultant who confirmed everything the radiologist said and said he would refer me back to the NHS for the waiting list masectomy. My insurance will cover anything if my breasts are diseased but will not cover a preventative masectomy. So I presumed everythings okay, just wait for the appointment for the op.

Friday afternoon I received an appointment from the NHS HOSPITAL referring me for a mammogram core biopsy yesterday. I was shocked to say the least as I assumed everything was sorted in December. Anyway I went yesterday and the radiographer said the mri I'd had at the private hospital was clear but the microcalcifications are that small that they wouldn't have been seen on the MRI ANYWAY. So I beg to wonder why I had it done in the first place. Anyway I've had the mammo guided biopsy done and he said my consultant should contact me in a week He said it could be okay or DCIS. As you can imagine I am sick to my stomach. I can't eat, sleep and I'm walking round like a zombie.

I can't talk to anyone because I'm quite an insular person anyway and I feel if I talk I will fall apart. I just feel I'm in a whirlwind nightmare, where I just want to throw up. I am barely hanging on. All I see is pictures in my mind of my mom on the day she died after fighting this bloody cancer, which I feel has perpetuated itself in me as a time bomb, now going off.

Sorry to go on but everything is going through my mind.   

Anna_BCC
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Hey Pippadog

 

Looks like you have got it working, hurrah!

 

Hope all goes well with your appointment this afternoon.

 

Best wishes

Anna

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Just testing on other computer

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

 

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

 

pippadog
Member

Re: Still waiting when I thought everythings okay

Testing to see if posting is OK?

pippadog
Member

Still waiting when I thought everythings okay