Encore, Enchore, Carole I dont know where you get your strength from but you are certainly an insperation to me.
Casey, Mule, Blackjack, and PonchoCat neared the end of the ridge. They’d camped the night before, sheltering in a rock outcrop. Blackjack had fed the horses from what they carried with them, and the others had set the camp fire, Mule cooking up beans and coffee. Blackjack had settled down next to her horse, and the others had rolled themselves in blankets round the fire. All had gazed up at the clear night sky, lost in their own thoughts. Before they were Storm Riders they had been women with hopes, dreams, plans for the future. Now they rode the storm, heading for a future changed but so clearly still ahead. Mule rolled over in her blanket, setting her face towards the town. Tomorrow she’d drink to the future in Determination.
They woke with the dawn and started the climb down off the ridge. It was a scree slope, so they dismounted and, leading the horses, started the careful step and slide downwards. They were making good progress, the horses were calm, when PonchoCat stumbled in the loose material, falling against a sizeable boulder.
“Look out Mule,” she shouted. Mule glanced round and saw the boulder rolling towards her. She nimbly jumped out of the way and watched it bounce ahead.
“Careful there.” she shouted back, and turned to the slope again. She stepped forward and the scree moved suddenly, pulling her right leg away from her. She let go the reins and toppled backwards trying to get her footing, but the scree kept sliding. She fell and rolled, getting her legs caught in her coat, rolled again and managed to stand, but she was half running, half carried by the scree and had too much speed going to stop. Too late, she saw the fallen tree. “Ooooh, shiiii…” and she hit, managing to twist herself round so she fell backwards over the tree instead of breaking her knees.
The others watched as she disappeared over the tree, and didn’t get up. Fast as they could they reached the spot. PonchoCat held the horses, and Casey dropped to her knees.
“She’s breathing,” said Casey, and started to investigate for broken bones.
“Here, put this under her,” said Blackjack laying out a blanket. “She’ll freeze before she comes round.”
“Help me turn her over then.” Said Casey, and the three of them carefully laid her back on the blanket just as her eyes fluttered open.
“Oooof, where am I?” Mule muttered, and tried to sit up. “Aaooow!” she yelped and clutched her side falling backwards again. Casey ran her fingers down Mule’s side.
“If that’s not a cracked rib, you’ve got a heck of a case of indigestion, Mule”.
“Casey, you know about steam engines, not broken bones.” Replied Mule.
“I know a cracked engine casing when I find one. I’ll strap your arm to your side, and we’ll head into Determination and get the Doc to fix you up. Here I’ll help you.”
“I can get up myself,” grunted Mule.
So the three of them lifted her up, and while the air turned bluer than the sky above they managed to get her on her horse. Even more carefully they finished the descent down off the ridge.
Not long after, four Storm Riders crossed the town boundary into Determination.
“Howdy,” said Casey, tipping her hat to an elderly woman rocking in a chair on her porch. She had a blanket over her legs, and cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand. Her eyes were scanning across the prairie to the mountain pass and the desert beyond.
“Howdy there yourself, young ‘un.” She replied. She glanced at Mule. “You can stable your horses out of the cold with the blacksmith over there, and the Doc is a few houses past. Saloon is about middle way up the main street there. You four look like you need some rest.”
“Thank you ma’am,” said PonchoCat, and the four turned their horses in the direction of the blacksmith’s buildings.
Ten minutes later Mule headed towards the main street. “Hey Mule,” said Blackjack, “Doc’s this way.”
“He’ll be there later, I’m getting a drink.” And Mule strode on, boots crunching in the snow. Casey grinned. “Mule by name, Mule by nature” and followed her friend towards the saloon.
PonchoCat pushed open the doors and eight well worn boots sounded the fact that the Storm Riders were here.
“Took you long enough.” came a voice from a table off to the right, and Steel lifted another spoon of stew to her mouth.
“Steel, you made it!” laughed Casey. “Where’s Riviera?”
“Doc’s looking after her for a day or so,” replied Steel, “but she’s doing fine.”
“Bartender, five beers for me and my friends here. We’re mighty dry,” and Casey slapped some coins onto the bar.
“Make mine a martini,” said Riviera as she opened the door and moved across the saloon to the rest of the Storm Riders.
“A what?” asked the bartender, looking pretty confused.
Blackjack slapped Riviera on the shoulder and pushed a bottle of beer into her hand. “Drink the beer Riviera, you can explain the martini to him later.
Six Storm Riders turned round, hats pushed back on their foreheads, and leaned back against the bar, looking out of the windows as the snow started to fall again.
Mule raised her bottle, took a long swallow, shook her head slightly and sighed with relief as the beer slid over her throat.
“To Determination,” she said, lifting the bottle towards the street.
“To Determination” came the collective toast, and they drained the bottles and had the bartender set up another round. Well, five beers and a rather odd martini.
Excellent that you've got your first rad Casey! I think it will be planning and not treatment, from what I've heard. No one told me about the tamoxifen hot flushes! Sheesh, does it never end? 🙂
How are you feeling overall now that you've got treatment almost started?
And not just determination. You wait weeks for one appointment and then two come at once. sheesh. Anyway got to go have a ultrasound on my overies (Sat can you believe) then got my first rads appoint for next Wen. Think its just for planning though. So its going to get really busy in determination over the next few weeks/months. Need lots of them there grits to build our strength up. By the way girls, only been on the tamoxifen 6days and hot sweats kicking in. Being a tight wad, I'm thinking of all the money am going to save on central heating and spending it on Meeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Hope everythings gone well for you today Gen. And all the very best of luck for you tomorrow Sal. be thinking about you and you'll be home and resting before you know it.
Same to all the other ladies havingh their ops in the next few days. Very best of luck and rest well around the camp fire afterwards.
Scotia, how about Cal, short for Caledonia. I used Caledonia for a while on another forum and loved it. Feel free to change if you want, it just popped up as an idea.
Calamity, oops, missed you were going in tomorrow. Who needs luck when you're a Storm Rider. Know no fear and fear won't know you! But LUCK anyway. Looks like you get your lightning strike tomorrow then. Remember when you wake up to carve a wee symbol on your saddle or belt or butt if you feel like it! 😄
Wendie, welcome latest Storm Rider. Defo not one of our horses that kicked you. Sounds like you've been bandit ambushed at the edge of the desert. Up onto your horse you get, grit those teeth, and start making your way through the mountain pass. Calamity's already heading through, and I think Scotia's not far off either. You've probably already picked up that a few of the Storm Riders are doing chemo - hence the abundance of bandanas in the saddle bags. If that's the way you go, don't worry, we'll be here every step of the way.
Horace, I think I can imagine how you feel about aches etc. I'm too focussed on treatment just now to let myself think about that, but I know it's something we all end up living with. Well, we never asked for the storm and we're riding that, so I guess we can all handle keeping an eye to the horizon for gathering clouds for a few decades more! :0) Wonder how long this thread can get?
Four of the original Storm Riders are riding into town tonight. Look out for it. Wowza, Determination sure is going to get busy!
Howdy Storm Riders and sending good wishes to all with new trials to come.Remember Determination girls!As for me well after 2 years and 4months from dx I am feeling fine[if you disregard broken leg!].Confident....well I am triple negative so thats another story.All I can say is that here and now I am well.I had a scare with a benign cyst last year and every ache,every cough,every itch and gripe fills me with terror.But I think its that injun medicine man hexing me and I will resist him.For those new recruits who have been pressganged[mixed metaphor there]into our ranks I will say that however hard it seems at the beginning it can all be done.Chemo is hard but it is powerful and it is rarely overwheming.Keep imagining it as an internal army wiping out the enemy.Keep your nerve dear ladies it will pass.
The Old Onexxxx
hi wendie - I'm sure it wouldn't have been one of our horses that kicked you - must have been them goddam injuns!! Grab a mug and have a coffee round the fire and bring a blanket to keep you cosy for our nighttime chat.....
how are you feeling then? My op was lumpect and node clearence 2 wks ago and I heard last week that I need the chemo - its a grade 3 and had only gone to one node so I'm being positive....just got appt for oncologist for next thursday and then all will be revealed as to when I start....keep well, mary x
Hi New to this site but would like to become a strom rider. Just had mastectomy and reconstruction 7 days ago. Not doing to bad but feel like I have been kicked in the chest by one of our horses. Get my results on the 16th Feb to find out what therapy comes next and panicking incase it's chemo. Any friends out their?
Fingers crossed for me this time tomorrow please, having radical mx (ie they're planning to take all lymph nodes)so no blue bits for me either.
Just a thought for those enduring hot flushes - found black cohosh works for me: does not eliminate them but reduces both frequency and intensity. The research I've seen also suggests it does not act as a weak oestrogen, (unlike red clover, ginseng and dong quai)but via some other path, yet to be defined.
Calamity Jane, busy packing saddlebags for the coming ride.
Youch, Horace, ooof! Well The Old One can rock away to her heart's content. We'll send down a bowl of stew at lunchtime, how's that? Otherwise, I never asked, 2 years down the line, are you feeling confident, ok in yourself? You sound it and you're looking great!
Like that quote Blackjack. Here's one I made earlier....
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." Theodor Geisel
Lol! Scotia. In case of slippage, we'll tie a rope from the saloon to the other side of the main street then Blackjack can lasso you in through the doors when you hit! On the blue front, you only get that if they go for sentinel nodes. They need to put the dye in to track to them. I'm still a bit blue on the boob, looks like Steel will have a blue shirt for the duration, but never had scary smurf moments.
Gen, if you log in before you go, "Goooood, gooood, gooood, good vibrations!" Surfs up!
Does this mean The Accountant isn't as bad as we thought? Mule is going to be sooooo disappointed. Definitely sensed a touch too much anticipatory glee at the thought of his capture!
Watch out for a quick chapter later on today for Mule for tomorrow.
Shedding is progressing well, sadly not from the back of my fingers. Wolf Girl is my other name.....
Did I tell you that the reason I am stuck here is that I broke my leg just over a week ago.My lymphodoema nurse recommended a trampoline to disperse the lymph-one bounce[must have landed awkwardly]on one leg and crack/crunch tibial plateau fracture with plaster from ankle to thigh.Thank heaven for the porch and the leg extension on the rocker.I'll still be here as you all ride by.Good luck to all you people under attack by sharp knives and hostile Indians.
The Old Onexx
THOUGHTS FOR TODAY
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
My illness has taught me something about the nature of humanity, love, sisterhood and relationships that I never understood, and probably never would have. So, from that standpoint, there is some truth and good in everything
Just a quick one to wish you well for tomorrow Gen. Good to hear you'll not be going into the office afterwards.
Blue pee.....yup was told about that and also that some women turn a slight shade of blue too....O.M.G. that will be me,I don't want to turn into a beeping smurf ! Always thought that Father Abraham was a bit strange...am not ready to go to smurf land,now if you were talking smirnoff land ,that's a different story lol.
Yup Scotia is fine for my alter ego,am sporting a very fetching set of burgundy toenails,the pedicure was heaven and have booked in for an indian head massage for next week,am going into pre-op pampering overdrive !
Am in for lumpectompy and sentinal node biopsy on the 23rd,am champing at the bit to get going,hopefully the snow will have gone by the time I come galloping in or I may slide right through and end up in no mans land !
No I haven't been told when, the blood tests were scheduled on the basis that chemo starts the week after next. Wound still healing, still slightly open at top but improving apparently. I've to go and have a good soak in the bath tonight to see if that helps it at all - been keeping it dry for 7 weeks now!!
Re the early discharge Sal - everybody who went down in the morning went home same day except for a woman who was sick and a woman who fainted shortly after coming round. I went down after lunch and had the same effect as you - totally knocked out and was really groggy for a few hours afterwards, although not ill or anything. I did eat some soup but that was all. Jez came to see me in the evening and I couldn't keep my eyes open. Bless him, he just sat next to me for the whole visiting time reading a book holding my hand while I slept (because I made him lol). I didn't pee blue because I had node clearance hence no dye injected. Dang, missed that little treat.
I was up and about by about 9pm though and I was out of there by 10.30 the following morning so from op to going home was less than 24 hours.
I'll have a word with the doc about mainlining wine through my portacath. Sounds like a plan. Well alcohol's an antiseptic isn't it? There must be health benefits surely....
Oh and no, I'm not rushing back to the office. That seems to be fairly well understood now! I'll go in Thursday if I feel ok and if I don't I won't. End of. They've set my laptop up to be able to work from home now though, so I hope I'll be able to deal with this as I originally planned - i.e. if I'm rough or low immune just work as and when I feel able at home. We'll see how it goes...... ;o)
Yikes! Pink is so not me. Think I'll take some food dye with me next Tuesday and get them to add it to the saline.
Ok, that's me away to do some serious shedding before bed. Ever see that Garfield cartoon where he just sits there shedding and eventually disappears under the pile of hair....
Yes Gen, good luck tomorrow. Keep the sound of that flamenco guitar and the rhythmic beat of heels going, and you'll sail through. We'll dream of chardonnay and send it your way. :0)
And I forgot, good luck for tomorrow Gen. I hope you told Scrooge you weren't working afterwards. I'm sure it will be fine. I think these things are usually worse in our heads than in reality. It's the unknown again isn't it?
Do you think you could hook up a bottle of Chardonnay to the portacath thingy? You could get trashed without anyone knowing.
Carole - they put you on the gay ward if you pee pink.
You're right, after grits and beans you can handle anything. In fact you should take some in with you. Anybody that can down that can be discharged. And the beans might hasten your discharge on their own!
Woah, didn't know that about George III! Maybe I should keep quiet about that bit... And maybe the pink pee after chemo too... What do they do if you pee pink I wonder?
If my reaction to anaesthetic is the same this time as before, I'll still be asleep when they should be discharging me, so I'll definitely be rested!! The stuff seems to knock me out big time. And it makes me really sick. Although when I had my MUA they gave me something beforehand, which seemed to do the trick.
What do you mean vile food? We're used to grits and beans - it'll be a piece of ... Although I do seem to remember a particularly disgusting bowl of porridge the day after my shoulder op. euch. And blue pee - isn't that what George III did? And they carried him off in a straight jacket.
On scarves. Must post a new avatar once the hair's all out. I'm getting quite nifty at tying these shemagh thingies. Not quite the elegant african look you're talking about Sal, but I'm getting there.
Sal - no I didn't have my feet or my boobs groped during my preop. Your pre-op person was clearly a pervert. 😄
I'm alcohol free now - my battle with the portacath is tomorrow and then I have loads of bloods to be done next Monday in preparation for the chemo. It would be rather embarrassing if it comes out neat Chardonnay!!
I could murder a glass of wine right now for my jitters though. Caffeine free diet coke just isn't doing it for me.
Steel, you sound much more chipper today - long may it continue!!
Hey Sal, I reckon you deserved the wine, particularly after a foot groping. One instep too far! Hope you finished the bottle. And you'll waltz into a new job. You've got attitude, determination, and you look great. Relax over this next wee while and get through the treatment. The future will take care of itself and the future looks good. Psychic Steel provides another illuminating prediction!
Tips on how to get out of hospital the same day. Look relaxed and together. Eat the vile food they give you. Ask for lots of tea and in a casual way read all the magazines and books you've brought, even if like me you can't remember a word you've read. Pretend to doze off so they think you're well rested. Say Ouch in an non whingey fashion when you need more painkillers - makes them think you have great inner strength. On no account ask for a sick basin. Keep your mouth firmly shut till the green feeling passes! On no account use that portapotty. Ewwww, disgusting. Walk to the toilet and guffaw loudly when peeing blue. 😄
I'm doing fine today, thanks for asking. Bit itchy as the short hair comes out and falls down my neck, but definitely over the wee blip!
Carole, we were posting at the same time and you've answered my question. You definitely sound better today.
Carole - I hope you had a better day today. It's wierd isn't it how it jumps you when you're not expecting it. But we're all here, willing you on and sending out virtual hugs for you.
My pre op yesterday shook me a bit I have to say. I was going to go alcohol free in the lead up to the op on Thursday, but I have to admit that I had to crack open a bottle of red wine last night. And then I watched Dispatches on the telly, which was all about ageism in the workplace. How depressing was that? Now I'm thinking I'll never get a new job 😞
On the subject of pre op, did anyone have their feet groped by the doctor? After she had listened to my chest, she asked me to take off my shoes and socks and she felt my insteps. Wierd or what? I was going to ask her what she was doing, but she kept going on about my chest, and that she had to speak to the anaethetist, so I got distracted. She also wanted to feel my boobs. WHY? I've been groped and mammo-ed, mri-ed, ultrasounded,; what else does she think she's going to find? I told her she wouldn't be able to feel the lump, but she said yes, she could feel it. I didn't like to tell her that that was probably scar tissue from the second biopsy and that she was feeling on the wrong side!!! Tee hee. I'm told I should be out the same day. That would be good, back in time for my ER fix 🙂
Gen, if I was you, I would seriously consider leaving the Bob Cratchett role. You've got enough on your plate with a young family and chemo, without being beholden to a creep like that. Things like that can wear you down at the best of times and i would guess you don't need it just now.
Martina, I know what you mean about hats. I'm short and if I wear anything with a wide brim a la Audrey Hepburn, I look like a mushroom! Wouldn't it be great to do one of those really elaborate scarf thingies that African women do so well? Don't know whether we Brits could carry that off though.
Rosie, what are you getting done? Are you feeling ok about the op? The Doc here in Determination is brilliant! (aka surgeons, onc, bc nurse etc).
Theresa, Whoop whoop! You’re done kiddo! Amazing. How does it feel? Do you have to do tamoxifen? Whatever you’re doing, don’t head for the Border yet Silver Streak, hang around in town for a while. When the rest of the Storm Riders ride in (they should be coming down off the ridge by now) we’ll head to the saloon and crack open a few bottles with you. You’ve still got that last stretch before the Border, so might as well rest up a while and gather your strength. Oh, the wig looks amazing! Hope mine looks that good.
In case anybody missed it on the last thread, the Border is about 20 miles outside of Determination. The land on the other side is where we’re all headed, the land of the future and opportunity. Unfortunately the Rancher who owns all the land in between and pretty much most of Determination makes it heck of a difficult for everybody to just ride through. So we all fight our bad guys in Determination (they’re all the negative things about treatment and how bad we feel), then still have to work our way past them for that last 20 miles (post treatment to getting the all clear), then we get to kick the Rancher up the bahookey as we each ride or stride across the Border. Oh, anybody already across the border can feel free to wander back and hang out anytime, like The Old One. Once you’ve been through it the Rancher loses all power, and you can come and go as you please.
Sandra, pedicure sounds like a brilliant idea. What are you getting at op time? We’ll be looking for the dust (or snow if this keeps up) kicking up as you gallop through to Determination. Careful of that pass though, it’s snowing out there. Storm Rider alter ego? Scotia? Just a suggestion. Doc here will probably need a name before he operates! 🙂
Martina, what chemo are you getting? You’ll be hooked up at the same time as me. I’ve got the second one next Tuesday. I’m sure you don’t look nearly as bad in hats as you think, but I’m loving the matchstick image. Lol! Blackjack looks great in a hat. Next time you try stuff on think Blackjack. When I was cutting the hair off yesterday I kept imagining Steel doing it. Then I tried on my hats and scarves again and thought Steel, and suddenly there she was, confident, solid, determined, and daring me to go all weepy again at risk of getting a good whupping! Oddly enough I didn't want the whupping, particularly not from Steel (although I think Mule might dish out an even better whupping...), so I started to think I actually look pretty cool with no hair (nearly) and in my new headwear.
Yes, yes, I know, the men in the white coats are on their way and you’ll all help with the straight jacket. 😄
Just added a photo of me in my highly attractive NHS wig... 😄 Actually i was given a voucher and went to the wig shop in the centre of newcastle - the staff in there were great... And they let you try on as many colours and styles as you like...
I'm just back from today's treatment and saw my onc... i don't have to see her now for 2 or 3 three months and she said that they don't like to keep giving people unnecessary scans, blood tests etc so it will just be annual mammograms unless i actually have any symptoms anywhere else... I did try and get her to say what my prognosis is now - but she just refused to say - said that she doesn't like to talk in % terms etc...
howdy pardners im on my way into town. start my chemo next tuesday. so im packing up my saddlebags and giving my horse the lowdown on what i expect from him.
im glad that i dont seem to have offended anyone with the info i gave. and thankyou to everyone who said it helped.
as of yet havent decided on what i will get once the hair decides to abandon me. i got a "pin head" and hats always make me look like a match stick cos i am thin and the with a hat on its like the round top of the match. not sure about that analogy but im sure you get my drift. really dont want a wig either cos i tried my daughters on and boy was i ugly in it, looked like a drag queen. yes i know they can make all different styles but at the minute im jus looking for a small (prob a childs size) knitted cap. my youngest daughter is making her confirmation in april and thats the only thing i am thinking about. dont want everyone looking at the "poor" woman with no hair. my sister is a photographer so she has suggested that she takes some photos of me now and then photoshop me into the family pictures taken on the day.
enough of me now. carole when do you get your next chemo, you seem to handling it just fine. glad to be able to put a face to the name.
gennie, some people just dont have a clue do they, you tell him you have a friend in Bandit Country (South Armagh) who will be paying him a visit if he dont buck himself up. :-#. (thats supposed to be a scary face).
horace thank you for agreeing with me and for the temp info, didnt remember that.
wanna say hi also to a few others on here ,Sal, Sandra and Rosie, sorry if i left anyone out.
Well chicks re martinas info which is excellent;it is vital to call your chem unit at once if your temp reaches 37.5 and stays up for 2 hours[dont take anything during that time].It happened to me and I had to be admitted for IV antibx but was only in for 48hrs.I had Neulasta injections after each chemo to keep wbc up but they had fallen by final tax and I had neutropenia which is why I was in hosp.
Come on girls ride on these obstacles can be negotiated and we are here to help you along if you falter.
The Old Onexx
Hi gang,want to say thanks Martina for your post,knowledge is power,I dont know yet if will have to go down the chemo route but I would far rather be prepared for it if I do, so the more experiences that I can read about the better,it all helps.
Re the post chemo curly hair, my yougest asked me if that happens does that mean your eyebrows grow back curly too ! Ooh how we laughed at that scenario ,took it to the nth degree of course.
Good luck Rosie,I'm offski for a pedicure as a "me" treat,havent seen the beautician for a while, am awaiting that awkward silence after she asks how I am and what I've been up to.......lol,should get an extra long foot massage for that .
Carole - believe me is is also weird when the hair grows back... wink... lol actually my hair is growing back so weird... it is coming in patches although it is not quite so bad now... and after a lifetime of poker straight hair i seem to be getting the "chemo curl" 😮 unfortunatly it is coming back with a fair amount of grey though - so i guess you could call me Silver Streak...
At the moment I am having some final hiccups as I reach Determination... My skin is burning quite badly now that I am having the final few days of rads - so I had to see a Dr after yesterday's treatment to get some painkillers and cool gel packs to place on my skin...
Oh and someone must have been shooting at us yesterday - we were on the way to the hospital on the A1 when suddenly one of the tyres shredded and we had to pull across into a layby! 😮 Luckily we were not going fast due to the snow etc... So my hubby had to stay with the car waiting for the repair truck and I phoned some of our old neighbours who took me to the hospital...
Just been catching up on last night's comments, and cackling my head off - good job I'm working from home today!
Have just noted the potential cost-saving aspect of chemo, that's a 'glass half full' thought - watch out for a well known chain of hair salons going into liquidation, if I cease to be a customer for a while though 8-)
Rosie (48 hours from now I'll be having pre-op sedation...)
Never worry about telling us things you find out Martina. The more info we all have the better. We ride the storm after all, we never run from it! :0)
I knew that too. I'm already on 28 weeks (4 rounds of Epi, then 4 rounds of CMF which is delivered over two weeks), so no way I want it extended. Best I'm trying for is to avoid infections. The low blood count I can't do anything about, so I've just got my fingers crossed there.
At last I found a reason for having a hoodie on my dressing gown. Toasty warm in the morning on a nearly bald bonce! Goonie is dark brown and ties like a sack in the middle, big hood - I'm doing the Order of the Epi monk look at the moment! (apologies to anybody actually in an Order or who is a monk...)
i dont want to put a dampner on anyone in here cos we are all here to support one and other. but i just want to share some info that i think if anyone doesnt know they should.
ok its like this, i have been told i will have 18 weeks of chemo, thats a cycle of chemo every three weeks, but im afraid it doesnt always work out that way. after i get a dose of chemo, there is a period of time when you are really sustible to infection, if you do get an infection, you have to get intravenous antibiotics for at least 5 days (usually in hosp), therefore your cycle may be delayed by an extra week. also if they check your white cells and they are not high enough they give you an injection in the stomach to help bring them up then they wait for a couple of day and test them again. and once again your cycle may delayed. what i am trying to say here to anyone who isnt aware is that please just take each week as it comes. dont set your heart on a specific date that you will be finished because when it doesnt work out like that it only causes more stress.
i feel like a real prophet of doom here but honestly i am just trying to maybe save someone some heartache. these were things that they never told my daughter (maybe for a reason). but she wishes they had because instead of 6 months of chemo she ended up with nearly 8. if i am out of line telling you all this then i apologise its just that i would want to know this. i hope i havent offended anyone and i hope you dont think i am trying to make people feel even worse. but in my opinion knowing this makes you more prepared if it happens. of course none of us may encounter any of this, and i really hope so. tell me if you think i was wrong to give this info.
LOL! Must remember to ask the wig lady when I go back in, and remember to take the camera with me to capture the look on her face. 😄
I can actually look straight at a mirror and not see myself at all. I don't know how I do it, but sometimes I go to, for example, check if my hair needs brushing, look in the mirror, walk away and realise I haven't actually "looked" at all and have to go back.
Luckily for me I have my attractive "twin overhang" to shield my view from any unsightliness downstairs and I don't have any full length mirrors so I should be spared the full horror of that. I'm actually with you on the Lolita issue. I wonder if the NHS does free merkins as well as wigs?
That's the attitude Riviera. We'll get him in due course, lull him into a false sense of security, then whammmo! We'll leave him hog tied on the Rancher's porch as a message that the Storm Riders are in town and we ain't leaving till we've done what we came for. Just tell us when and we'll hatch the plot!
Ocht, I just had a wee moment. Feel daft about it now. And I knew you'd all haul me up, dust me off, and hand me my hat. 🙂
The whole scuddy down below bit is too Lolita for me. I reckon I'm going with Nigella Lawson on this (not that I'm privy to her personal look....). Any bit of her she doesn't like the look of she just doesn't look at. Think I'll paint the bottom half of the mirror black for the duration. 🙂
The Accountant sounds like a good adversary, I'll be doing battle with him very soon methinks. He's no match for me, I have my fellow Storm Riders behind me. He's toast. ;o)
Blimey - see my earlier comments about how health professionals sometimes just don't think of the consequences of what they say. It's a day at the office to them. Life and death (literally) to us.
Steel - I'm sorry today has been rough, it was a battle you had to face and yet again you've come out on top with a smile on your face and a jokey quip. A little wobble in the midst of the fight is allowed, but we were all right behind you ready with the big guns in case you got overwhelmed.
I'll remember to keep the dyson on standby unless I can find some pink bloomers to tie round my knees (my grandma wore those too). I've often wondered how a Brazilian would look, I'm told some men find it a turn on. I also mused, as I washed my hair this morning, that I won't have to bother with all that and blow-drying, straightening etc for much longer. That's at least an extra 15 minutes in bed. Result!! 😄
I knew it was going to be a good thing finding you in Determination! Had a thought. Mule was describing lightening strikes hitting us in the desert. Carve a discreet wee lightning shaft into your rocking chair Old One, then we'll know it's you. I'm etching one onto my belt just now. Steel.
Zowie, things are moving fast. Better come up with another wee scenario and get the four ridge riders into Determination, 'specially if we need a "welcoming committee" for "The Accountant". Hey, there he is Gen, "The Accountant", the bad rancher's book man. Does the collecting of rents and protection payments from the townsfolk, is generally a weasley little, no good, dung fly, cares nothing about putting people out if they can't pay, and always takes a couple of huge bad guys with him 'cos he's a lilly livered, quaking snake. Haven't got round to describing Steel or Poncho-Cat yet, have I? Will do shortly, but Steel doesn't use expletives, one of her characteristics, hence all the decorative swearing! Should be good for some jokes as the story flows, I hope.
I had a chest xray at preop and covinced myself it had already spread because the radiographer said,'You'll have to discuss these with your doctor.'
I was so scared I am ashamed to say I was hysterical and my blood pressure went sky high.Finally they got a radiologist down to talk to me.She explained that only a doctor was allowed to dicuss them but in fact they were fine.I have asthma and usually have a bit of wheezing.Dont worry they would have said at once if there was a problem.
I got to Determination via the bog of diagnosis,the hill of lumpectomy,the swamp of fec,the deadly waste of taxotere and the burning desert of rads.I staggered in here nearly two years ago and sit at the town border urging a new generation of Storm Riders to sanctuary.
The Old One
I am about to start with an uncharacteristic huge snivel. I felt absolutely miserable today, wretched wouldn't be putting it too strongly. I went and flung myself dramatically over my bed about 4.30 this afternoon and sobbed - that's over doing it - I shed several tears and generally felt really sorry for myself. No matter how hard you try not to cry through this, something gets you in the end, and it was the hair. I just wanted the whole damn thing to evaporate, never have happened. Useless line of thinking really, I know. So I got in the shower, showered out the next huge wad of it, then put on my mascara, lifted the scissors, and got on with it. I now look like I'm a month out of the marine core, and it isn't that bad. Obviously a bit patchy (hard cutting your own hair at the back), but I'm quite looking forward to when it grows back to this again so I can experiment. It's about taking the next step. Once you do it you move on and feel better. I feel better. A bit emotionally drained and looking forward to bedtime, but I can handle the pending baldness now. Done. No more snivelling.
Gen - I concur with all. Your boss sounds incredibly Dickensian! Start a wee diary of what was said and when, just in case it comes in handy. You might be lucky on the chemo, but I think if you're there half the time you'll still be pushing your limits. This is definitely a bad guy in Determination scenario. If he actually makes it hard once you start the chemo, in real time start procedings, in Determination I'm with Sal on this one! Or, your tempting idea might be exactly the right way to move on. This is a year for change after all, and you'll be saving on hairdresser bills. 🙂
Sal, stay cool about Thursday. It's a breeze, and that crackle's only a mild dose of asbestosis, you'll be fine. 😄 I got the chest x-ray and ecg too. Like Gen says, I think they'd have told you seeing as you're so close to the op. As always, a quick call to the BC Nurse tomorrow?
Looks like there's a whole load of us on the chemo route. Sal, you keep us posted on how the rad works, and with a bit of luck the rest of you will end up on E-CMF and I can keep you up to speed on what to expect there. Oh, the head and bikini line seem to work at the same time for shedding. Umm, best I can advise is make sure the knickers fit, avoid skirts, and keep the hoover handy. Ewwww, too much info perhaps! 😄
Oh and welcome Calamity!
Just wanted to compliment you all on this fascinating thread - creative writing+employment forum combined! I used to work for a Chartered Accountant who wouldn't give me a contract either, what's more he was a dab hand at 'adjusting' the post book when he'd missed IR deadlines for returning clients' tax returns... seemed very surprised when I walked out - wonder if its the same chap???
Keep riding, gals, and I'll meet you for a bourbon in the Lucky Charm Saloon...
Rosie Womble aka Calamity Jane
LOL love the idea of taking Gens employers hostage. They sound absoloutly awful. Are they living in the dark ages or what?? Its something that really riles me because as you can imagine, being a train driver I'm quite millitant 🙂 Don't know why because we get treated really well actually, its just the cr!!! hours. If I were you Gen, I would discreatly leave a copy of the d.d.a on one of their desks. Or .... stay on the sick due to stress and then claim constructive dismisal hehehe shame youn dont have more on them because you could.
Sal, I had to have xray for my pre op. They check it there and then. Like Gen says, nothing was said, so I assume everything was ok. What on your ipod? nothing too boppy I hope. Dont want to read you were kicked out for dancing round your drains, in the middle of the ward lol Have they said how long you'll be in. Each area seems differant. I was 3 nights and bored out of my skull due to the fact I was put on a side ward.
Hows the hair going Carole? When I went to see onc last week, a lady was there, who had been dx same time as me. She was there for her 2nd chemo, she had got her daughter to shave her head and looked really good. She said it was easier than watching it fall out in clumps and she was probably right because it meant that she had taken control, if you know what I mean.
Welcome to all the other ladies joining us, its so good to hear from women that have come out the other side. Its uplifting, to know that women are waiting at the other side of determination, to great us when we arrive. Itr won't be too long before we arrive, so keep the fire burning and the wine cooled, its going to be one hell of a party. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Lol I like your thinking Sal. Maybe I'll work up a scenario - some kind of establishment in Determination that I have to pass through but there are a lot of obstacles, pickpockets and general lack of compassion going on. I've always worked for large organisations my whole working life up to now, I'm now with a small husband/wife outfit with a handful of employees. In other jobs there were always good sick pay schemes (6 months full pay, then half pay etc), loads of benefits, car, pension etc. Here it was 2 weeks and I'm on SSP. I'm a fully qualified Chartered Accountant (18 years qualified) on rubbish pay with no benefits, took the job for the flexibility but it's turning out to be a huge headache now to be honest. I haven't even got a contract and I've been there nearly 2 years! I think I need to move on when this is all over. I also have a sneaking suspicion they might be reading what I'm saying on these threads, but maybe I'm being paranoid.
I worked out last night that if I just pack in and stay on sick pay, plus claim the carer's allowance I can't get while I'm working but would be entitled to if I'm on sick pay because one of my boys is registered disabled, I would be getting just over half of my usual take home pay for doing nothing. Tempting.......very tempting.....
Your pre-op sounds fun. Mine was more of a rigmarole than I expected I must say. I didn't have a chest x-ray but I did have an ecg which I wasn't expecting. The irritating thing is nobody tells you if it's all fine or not - you just have all these things done and assume no news must be good news. I'm sure they'd have said if there was a problem, particularly since your op is later this week - they see the xrays straight away don't they so they'd see if there was any cause for concern.
So - full systems go to ride into town on Thursday, Mule, all guns blazing!! 😄
Unbelievable!! Who do you work for Gen, Scrooge & Co? I don't know whether I would have laughed, I think I would have been more tempted to smack someone in the gob! On second thoughts, it would probably have been more of a withering look and a sigh. Never was one for violence, although I can fantasize can't I? I think your firm are part of the gang of baddies holed up in Determination; so what do you think of an ambush? We could kidnap them, tie them down, keep them in the dark for ages, cut them about a bit, fiddle with their private bits, take enough blood to fill a bath, x-ray them till they glow, give them stuff to make them sick ..... Oops, I think I'm getting a bit carried away there! (Fantasizing again)
I've just got back from my pre-op assessment. Two hours! I wasn't expecting that. When I had my shoulder op two years ago it was a quick 10 minutes with the nurse. This time it was the whole kit and caboodle. And they sent me for a chest x-ray, because the doctor could hear a crackle in my right lung (the same side as the lump) eeek! She kept asking me if I'd had a cough. No. Asthma. No. Cr@p, now I am panicking! That's all I need - cancelled op because of a crackle 😞 Mind you, the doctor was about 12 and a half, or maybe I'm just getting old 😄
Hope the hair's still hanging on Carole. I'm always fiddling with my hair so I don't suppose mine will last long at all once it starts departing. I'll be competing with the dog for leaving my fur all over the floor!!
I told work today that I'm having my portacath done this Weds instead of next (when I would have been on holiday anyway so it wouldn't have inconvienced them). Explained what the procedure was, done under sedation, involves stitches etc and was asked.....
......ok, will you be in later then?
you have to laugh. 😄 😄 😄
Am I making too much of this? Would you really expect an employee in the office after having that kind of thing done? Bee Zarr.