Good evening, Ms Merton.
Thank you for your kind words.
I completely agree. I have noticed that through still being sensual my wife's emotional attitude towards her surgery and her capacity to be desired.
You have so many good points and I appreciate your much thought of advice and information.
Have a beautiful evening.
Thank you for your lovely message and for your invaluable information! Your husband sounds like a real rock for you.
I do also believe that listening and being aware on an emotional level is very important.
Have a great evening.
Ed - what a caring person you are. And also v sensible to ask the "experts" in having BC! Great advice from Mary. Unfortunately BC treatment can make you feel v unattractive, esp if you have mastectomy and/or chemo. Continuing to make your partner feel attractive and loved during the treatment process (as I am sure you would anyway) is a massive help. Don't shy away from looking at surgery scars etc and be clear that you still think her body is beautiful. Try to still do romantic things together. Dinners, flowers, trip to the theatre/cinema, maybe a night in a nice hotel. If she has chemo, she may feel emotionally fragile as a side effect of the chemicals. Understand these moods are chemical-induced and cannot be controlled by the patient. Do not let anyone tell her to "be positive" or other such "cheer up love" statements. If you can give or get some help with household chores that would be excellent. Since having BC I get my shopping delivered and have hired a cleaner. I know not everyone can afford that but if you can I would recommend it. I have also found counselling and yoga invaluable. Best wishes. I am sure you will come out the other end stronger than ever.
I have just finished active treatment and I wouldn't have got through it without my husbands support he was my place of safety and sanity, I would say sometimes just listen to your partner they will be the best one to let you know whats needed,, sometimes a hug is all it takes, try not to be the strong one all the time it's ok that you are upset or worried as well it helped me knowing that I didn't need to suppress my feelings for my partmer, we cried as well as laughed together, try to attend appointments etc an extra pair of ears is invaluable.
Encourage your partner to join a forum on here there is lots of emotional and practical support from everyone. BCC have lots of information that you can download although steer clear from the less savoury websites stick to this one, Macmillans or the NHS.
I would say that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there together.
Hugs and Best Wishes
I'd like to know if anybody would be so kind as to give me some advice and suggestions as to what a man can do to be valuable to his partner during breast cancer.
What are the best things to do and not to do so that you feel completely supported and that you both can learn and come out the other end stronger?
Thank you kindly.