Nah, can't sleep; they tell you to breathe in, breathe out, they tickle you with felt tip pens...
I foresee the tedium crushing me eventually but simply because it's a whopping 30 sessions. My appointments are apparently "all over the place". If the cancer won't kill me, my boss will. Or my cat.
Went to buy the ointment I have to apply (E45) and the recommended deodorant (Pitrock).
Then had a whole box of mochi green tea ice cream, all for me, to bribe my poor little self. Yum.
Anyway, the gist of it is -- worry not; so far, almost a piece of cake. Srsly. x
The temptation of dozing off is strong, totally.
Indeed, they are like Panini stickers -- I miss only Infection to complete the album. Sleep well, you too x
Just passing by, and sending a big hug to all of you x
Too many things to comment upon, and too little time tonight, I will do it soon. Jill, I've got cording and the works as well... we are not left wanting, clearly: the full monty! Sheena, do you start radios on Wed as well?
good night beautiful ladies, I may be a bit silent but I do read xxx
Know you are getting involved at Royal Marsden and we do have a Big C centre at my hospital but to be honest i ve seen enough of hospital, and hearing about cancer, i just want to move on now, It helps some i know but me no i just dont want to get involved with that sort thing. it still seems a bit unreal to me as though it never happened, as said thought everything would change after my treatment finished, see more friends, people wwould stop being so childish re things that happened years ago, id get invites to parties, 2 this weekend i didnt, but to be honest, if anything i see less of one of someone i thought was a close friend, she pops up on fb seeing others, but not me,ive seen her about twice since my treatment finished and havent been round hers for weeks, she keeps saying you must come, but when i say tell me when,nothing. She has the BC gene and her mum died of BC so it isnt as though she doesent understand.And i have to say out mutual friend hasn t seen much of her either.,
Thats why i need to meet new people, Im amazed the number of people who responded to my streetlife message, Lets hope i meet some new interesting people on thurs,Need to, Good on you with the dating thing, you are still young enought to meet someone, i unless i want to be a nursemaid, or am desperate enough for anything,im not, have to accept that is something i wont be doing. Where is the idea that men wear better than us, once they hit 60, very few do,and those that do are usually bookedlol Junexx
Posts have become quite impossible these day's, it's driving me mad!
only just got into this "new improved" site! Totally rubbish I'm no technophobe, but all I could do was read and not post
Bless you Dawn, what a bummer for you and such a pity you will miss spa trip, hope hols still ok.Seems unbelieveable that they could mess up like this. Surely they do these ops all the time, think would be a matter of course,
Yes i seem to have snowballed with this needing new friends thing, Loads have popped up on streetlife, saying feel same, Norwich isnt exactly small,its a city but it does tend to have some small town attitudes sadly. People tend to stick to people they have known years and families, new people do find it hard to break into circles here, I worked here for years but sadly many of those i worked with seem to have fallen by wayside, not my doing, i will say and now i really only see 3 friends regularly and to be honest havent seen so much of one of them lately again not my fault,, she keeps texting saying we must meet up but nothing seems to happen though on facebook shes popping up with others ,Seems just the friend i dog sit for and another friend i always meet every 2 weeks, I definitely need to meet new people so must try.
What does the port do Dawn?Will it really stuff up your plans,seems very unfair...
Norfolk is a lovely county and Norwich a njce city but its so small minded, at times, it drives me mad, Ok im in my 60s, but i dont want to han g around with a load of retirees i like to be friends with all ages, ive always had younger friends, and im very young for my age cancer hasnt changed that or giving up HRT,But here most people i know expect women of a certain age to behave in a certain way,This "friend" i mentioned her mum isnt much older than me, but is very po faced she spent all night at her wedding sitting down looking miserable and is very religious,perhaps she expects all woman that age to be same,well not me. No it dosent spoil things if we go to others events, i dont let it, but i never feel comfy with her, always feel shes judging me
I need to meet new single people so i took bull by horns and mentioned on our local street life site, was there anyone like me, mature, single, no kids friends all wih patners, not much family, Got quite a lot of contacts, and one woman has suggested we all meet at her house one night next week wating for confirmation when. They all seem to be 40s upwards which is what i want so who knows, None of them seem to like social groups, quite a few dont seem to originate from Norfolk, which brings me back to my orginal story how it is here,but they can say what they like about it, dosent bother me im half norfolk and half suffolk, very similarlol, but ill probably agree with them, lol Junex
Jill, Twiglets are never wrong.
For Jill and Sheena -- an interesting page, seems research-based:
I checked because I've been stuffing my face with idiotic quantities of sprouts since one month; since they are strongly antioxidant, I might ask the radiotherapist if it's ok to continue. The page doesn't say, but contains other interesting info. x
June, I understand what you write, the sense of "well, there was all that tragedy. And now? Why is everyone going about their live like nothing happened to me? How they cannot understand?" and, I know it's little consolation, but I relate, even if, unlike you, I haven't been ferried to the other side of this dreadful river yet.
On a ligher note, it's so colourful how you express how you're not in awe of Norfolk, that I've started to think about all it's bad with Norfolk (note: I've never been!!): Alan Partridge, and a very narcissistic ex of mine who was born in London but from a Norfolk family... gah! 🙂 x
Thats the one, it was 3 years ago and ridiculous thing was she got married last dec and i got asked tto reception but not to afternoon tea or weekend at coast hen nights, so that should have told me how it was. I think actually thats why i got asked to the wedding a friend probably did have word with her about that, but nothing else. I really didnt want to go to reception but was Xmas all my friends were going, they went all day! and i went thinking it might be the start of being welcomed back into fold., but seems not, You cant believe someone bhaving so childishly? . Jill my dear this is Norfolk, it dosent surprise me Being single here is like a social disease, you rarely get invites anywhere any way, Being a single mature person in Norfolk is social death. couples socialize with couples, thats how it is,And if join singles groups they are so clicqy you can break into them I dont know why i thought my cancer would change things but im back the other side and it hasnt. Junexx
Good night! x
And you as well, Jill -- hope you can relax a bit, now that the planning is behind you. When do you start the rads? I start on Wednesday, apparently (I am never 100% sure of anything, nowadays -- but yea, it should be the 5th). Time to spend that last swimming pool voucher, till I can.
June, you write with great intensity, and I understand your plight very well. It's mine as well, although I admit that, right now, my isolation is mostly of my making. I sometimes wish my friends were more there for me, but if I only I felt a bit less disconnected, I am sure I would be fine-ish. Nevermind, but both you and I need to find something new, something to be passionnate about. I think connectedness may come, once this is done, as an added benefit. What do you think?
Magical Moon, I am sorry you're struggling with anastrazole, all more since I am meant to take it as well 😞 (or was it the other -zole? oh, nevermind). I was struck by a very early menopause, at 42 and looking half that age (sadly, I've caught up big time since). I didn't take HRT, unlike both mum and grand-mum, because I was afraid of breast cancer (that my ancestors didn't get!). I have a possibly interesting reflexion on hormonal changes: my mood flattened a lot going through menopause -- gone were the flights of fancy, the sense of poetry, much of the imagination; rationality hit me like a ton of bricks. There was a little silver lining tho: all of a sudden I had a sort of gravitas, of authoritativeness... please don't laugh, but to survive the boredom of getting down a lifetime stoned on oestrogen (yes -- stoned!), I had to embrace my inner male part, and learn to love different thrills. It did work (to an extent). I expect the -zole to only make that more extreme; I guess I will have to buy a motorcycle 😄 Having blabbed all that, your symptoms are mostly physical, right? And for a 0.8%... gawk, that's very little. Is that over five year, ten, or more? Would be worthy to discuss it with the oncologist, next time? I mean, on the face of it it doesn't seem a bargain in the least, and I am a bit puzzled that you weren't discouraged from taking it in the first place (unless there's something that I am missing, obviously).
Jill, well done keeping the goat at its place! A bra is, overall, a small price to pay -- I would have paid it for a tattoo less (I got three, always the exaggerating one...).
Me, I had a quite tranquil day at work, then a good session with the shrink, ate out, now I am knackered and I'll go and watch a dvd. I have other bits and bobs maybe worth telling, but not now, my brain got enough of a workout today, not the right time to open other lil' cans of worms 😄
hugs all xxxx
Hi Magical m oon,
I feel bit like you with HRT, i know if probably caused my breast cancer, but it did make me feel great and i miss it.
Im on tamoxifen which is supposed to be better for bones, and i dont feel too bad without HRT but i know im more creaky than i was, i get the night sweats, and i just felt better on it, and like you if i could without the risk id take it again. June