Surgery & living alone

[DizzyDee]

So pleased everyone has come to the end of treatment. So proud of you all and i'll never forget you girls helping me through this. 💗💗💗 If we can come through this we can do anything!!!!! Love and hugsxxxxxx

[Dawn1]

I am so pleased you have all finished treatment..
That is so true concentrate on living life to the full and being healthy...
I wish you all Good Health xxx

[Jill1998]

Think we have agreed to part on the grounds of musical differences !!!We have all finished treatment now just need to get on with the job of not getting this again!!

[Dawn1]

Thank You Jill..I am plodding along still not back in work, I have along way to go with reconstruction, I do appreciate how lucky I have been...
So how's the band going? xxx

[Jill1998]

Hi Dawn, hope you are recovering well ,don't blame you for not wanting to read about cancer when you don't have to!!!

[Dawn1]

Hello all, Sorry I haven't posted anything on here for quite some time.....Too be honest I found it difficult to read what you were all going through with your treatment...You can call me selfish, I deserve it..
I felt awfully that I just had 1 breast removed and a couple of weeks after the op, I just felt really miserable and couldn't stand hearing anything about cancer...
Sorry
You are really cool chicks ☺☺☺☺☺and I have been thinking about you all..xxxxxxx

[missmore]

I'm feeling irrelevant and I like it x night amigos x

[mael]

Let's hope indeed!!! x

[Jill1998]

Yeh, we may get boring and a bit irrelevant ....let's hope so anyway!!!!

[mael]

Agree! 😄

Btw i will still post here on a regular basis, i don't plan to go anywhere -- but if we have to slowly, progressively move away from c-talk towards the normal chitchat of human rapport, at some point it'd have to be elsewhere, or we will get the boot! 

[Jill1998]

Ooh, let's hope so this episode has been s**t!!!!

[mael]

lol 🙂 I promise you that the spin-off will be better than the original series!

[Jill1998]

It could be like the last episode of Cheers or Friends on this thread!!!

[mael]

True, Sheena 🙂 x

[missmore]

Will check the book out,  sounds intriguing x

and we can all keep stuff private,  3b xx

[mael]

Thank you! 🙂 x

[Jill1998]

Sounds like fun but weird!!!Hope you have a good time and see some "interesting " drawers!!!

[mael]

"you just go round peoples houses and look in their draws ,inspect their fridges"

Pretty much spot on! You have a BIG catalog of buildings (private homes, offices, embassies, schools, you name it -- as long as they have some architectural interest) where you can go, knock on the door and have a look inside. Year after year, it has grown fancier and fancier, now you often get refreshments and little gifts as well, etc. All free. Last year in a John Lewis office I was almost embarrassed by the treatment, coffee, cake, super nice private guide, coffee table book... 

It's hands down the very best London event of 'em all (and I have an interest for architecture and deco). But now it's famous and everyone goes; the most coveted buildings have either ballots or 3-4 hrs queues. On the other hand, there are gems that nobody cares about, and they make for nice visits. Sadly it's only for two days, which means that one must be ready at the starting post with good trainers and a well planned itinerary. $deity give me strength! 😄

Thumbs up for the mobile number! x

[Jill1998]

I will message you my mobile number ,would be nice to keep in touch and here is not always the right place is it?How does this open house thing work, you just go round peoples houses and look in their draws ,inspect their fridges??

[mael]

Oh, btw, this is the book i mentioned a few days ago: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B007MF0OKM?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o02_

The title makes it sound like a load of new age claptrap and I bought it with the intent of sniggering, but, had it been written explicitely for me, it wouldn't have had a word different, so it was a huge surprise. I've never felt so validated, not even by my shrink (even if, at the end of the day, he says exactly the same things, it's just he doesn't push it much).

speak later x

[mael]

i am going to Open House this weekend, plus I want to buy some turntable fodder. Open House could have been glorious but i've been so driven to distraction by the treatments that I've forgotten to book anything! I'd have to make do with the modest places that don't require bookings. Hopefully there will be some gems, but i haven't even started to plan my itinerary, something that normally would have been done to the nines, one month in advance. Ah, bloody cancer! lol

At some point I might be less present on this board (it's precious and dear and super useful to me, but when I see the logo around town my blood pressure briefly but painfully skyrockets, and one day or another I shall have to bike without stabilisers, i suppose), but I'd like to keep in touch with you. We shall exchange emails or something, if you want too x

[mael]

Jill, how are you faring? The end of the rads chore, i see, it's not all bells and whistles. Personally I am in a decent state of mind but I have the energy of a jellyfish dragged ashore.

[Jill1998]

Glad you are done, hope you manage to enjoy your weekend, hope you have something really good planned.

[mael]

I am in bed reading the comments sections in The Guardian and the Daily Mail, to gauge the orientation of the respective trolls, and generally because I am so done and dusted that I cannot do anything better. I am taking delivery of a turntable later tonight, I was planning to tidy up to make space for it but really cannot be bothered...

My boob looks like i had been bludgeoned by a clumsy madman, but I am not too inconvenienced, in fact right now i am resting on it, something I am surprised i can do without discomfort. Possibly the nerve endings as well have been cooked.

I won't be writing here till after the weekend, as I have hectic plans; not sure where I will find the energies but it may be that tomorrow morning i will wake up in great shape! I hope...  x

[mael]

Yo! All done... and I am totally exhausted, more mentally than physically really. How are you? x

[Jill1998]

Are you all done???

[Jill1998]

Last one Mael , hope you have something nice planned to mark the occasion.

[Jill1998]

Only 3 more Mael,I found it got harder to go at the end not easier,not sure why.

[mael]

Jill, June x

I am basted, fried and cooked (and possibly eaten, digested and expelled). I am knackered! The boob is peaceful apart for a tiny itch, but the thought of seeing the hospital another three times makes me wanting to scream. I will reply in more detail soon, but right now I am operating with one neuron only, and i don't know where I've put the other... good night ladies, sleep tight x

[catchpole]

Hi Dee,

Glad back at work, sure must help, wish i was still at work, do miss working, well meaning friends want ,me to volunteer" one of my friends latest ideas was the Sally Army cafe not far from her office and my old one, run my volunteers , Me and Sally Army are not if you excuse the pun, a ,match made in heaven.lol  Goodness im an athiest and i drink alcohol, not really for me i think. cant see me meeting many like minded people "working" and thats what it is unpaid working there But ageism still rains in the workplace in Norfolk im afraid, and getting a job is pretty impossible. 

Enjoy New York and youve met someone, lovely for you, have fun, love to myself but like a job think that easier said than done. Keep us posted,

Went to see oncologist couple weeks ago, he said was healing well, prodded and poked and said all fine.  tamoxifen not too many side effects, few sweats but not much else. Hope you same.  

Junex

[catchpole]

Hi Mael,

Ive been finding it hard to find you living alone girls on here and here you are,

I do think stress has something to do with getting cancer, I know my being on HRT for so long, was a big reason for me probably getting it, but when you read all this stuff as i did today about how not to get breast caner, apart from that, i did everything right, slways been slim, had the mediterrean diet long before it became fashionable when i was a teenager way back in 60s, and even earlier i hated stodgy British food, never smoked, walked for England, as dont drive,  But i got it and i do think stress had lots to do with mine too,. In the past 12 years, First i had to have an hysterectomy made worse by fact i ignored symptoms  for too long  i had to move jobs and start to commute which i did for 6 years, then my dad went into care,then i had to "retire" when i didnt want to, just after moving to where i worked,then my dad died,and since then cause im an only child with little family i have felt more alone, and moving here hasnt worked out quite as i planned, have friends but they have busy lives and partners, and dont see as much of them as i like. So now i am trying to chill out more,im alone,ive accepted that, i hate retirement, that wont change, and am resisting friends well meaning suggestions of voluntary work, i need to earn some money to top up my pensions,so can have a few trips etc,.not work for nothing.and im a bit fed up with people telling me "it would give me purpose" no ive have had cancer i need to live a bit, But im trying to not let it get me down as i know stress wont help keep it from returning. Fortunately the tamoxifen is not giving too many side effects and my skin  is pretty ok after rads,

Hope your rads going ok, and not having to many side effects., 

Junex

[Jill1998]

Have invested in mega nourishing shampoo/conditioner for thinning hair ,see how it goes Old lady hair and boob like a beetroot ,attractive look !!On a positive note that hair filler powder help feel less subconscious about baldy spots!!.How are you ?

[mael]

Oh man, breaking at the roots? that sounds more serious than it should be. 

Found online: 

"that far from using 'chemical free' organic type shampoos we should be using good old fashioned head and shoulders - high zinc levels encourage hair growth. They have one out called endurance which actively promotes growth. It also releives itchy scalp a bit. I suffered horribly with this and wanted soemthing to stop me looking like I had nits as I was scratching all the time and this, of course, can break the weakened hair shafts. Other than that, avoid direct sunlight but do keep scalp warm to ecourage blood supply and therefore growth. If you can afford a silk pillow case, it reduces hair breakage from friction."

[Jill1998]

3 more Mael, nearly there.My boob is bright red and weeping, nice !! Hair like straw and breaking off at the roots, cancer is such fun !!

[Jill1998]

Must be a pretty tough job I think dealing with endless streams of people who are fighting cancer.

[missmore]

Oh, chocolate for the staff, I bought a big tub of mini heroes for the radio therapists,  ironic but I was grateful for the way they treated me with as much dignity as possible x

[missmore]

A very late good evening x

Mael, it's odd you mention twinges in your underarm and is there a connection,  for approx 4years I had a pain in my elbow and my hair was getting thinner and thinner.  Since op the pain has gone and my hair ( sorry Jill x) has been restored to its former glory.  It makes you wonder if these "symptoms" we felt were an indicator or am I just imaging the whole thing

Jill I believe that an awful lot of people who have had chemotherapy use that shampoo, hopefully it will only be a temporary problem

good night my friends xxxxxx

[Jill1998]

Well so far I don't think it's affected my mood apart from making me upset cos my hair is falling out.Everyone seems to have different experiences but side effects appear to be more physical than mental .

[mael]

Wow, that's a lot in so little time O_O -- but it's going to stabilise, correct? I heard that the side effect settle down after a while.

I've read a lot of horror stories about tamoxifen and letrazole, specifically that they can lower one's mood. But it won't happen to us, correct? 😉 

[Jill1998]

Well there is a definite connection between stress and cancer,but I'm not sure about "hopelessness", if that was the case think I would have had it a lot sooner doing my job!Not sure about the powder but it def colours the scalp so you look less bald !!Hairline receded about half inch eek!!!Ordered shampoo Sheena suggested too,hate the thought of putting another one of those tablets in my mouth tonight .

[mael]

Does it work? It's supposed to stick to your hair and plump them up. You're not the only one who's fiddling with their hair -- I bought a black hair mascara, because I've got dark hair with an independently-minded white strand growing at full speed on the top of my cranium. Too lazy to dye the lot because of it. Does it work? hmm... to an extent 🙂

Today i spent the morning in bed buying stuff online, ended up buying (among other cr**) a book that says that cancer treatment should be accompanied by mental healing in order to work, because cancer is borne out of hopelessness. It did strike a chord, very heavily in fact, as I remember having those tiny pains in my armpit while my relationship with a much beloved partner was going down the drain, and my company was going a bit meh as well and I was watching myself becoming older by the minute and yes, I was hopeless. I will finish reading it tomorrow and maybe elaborate. I don't have a New Age bone, a few friends said of me "the exact opposite of a hippie" but I do believe in a mind-body connection. I usually skirt away from that kind of stuff but right now it makes sense.

It did something overall as tonight for the first time in years I felt the need to cook something from scratch! My hoisin and sriracha chicken was amazing, especially considered that I've cooked from scratch last time when the Millennium Dome still was a thing 🙂

I won't miss the Niagara falls for sure! Almost tempted to buy chocolate for the technicians, as a form of affectionnate but firm goodbye.

[Jill1998]

Filling my bald spots in with that powder as advised ,it's like an eyeshadow for your scalp, interesting...this cancer lark is such fun isn't it!!Keep your chin up,come Friday at least you won't have to watch Niagra Falls again!!

[mael]

🙂 xx

[Jill1998]

4 more.

[missmore]

Oh chicken sounds great and asprin has been a long time favourite for lots of ailments.  My fav is a beechams powder,  dissolve the little beauty in water and very soon it lifts you up x

nice to know you're on the up dee x

sweet dreams

[DizzyDee]

Just touching base with you lovely ladies. Back at school full time now. Its been intersting and everyone thinks you're and i hate this phrase 'back to normal'!!! I'm different in every way but in a good way. I have met a guy and i'm going to New York in October. I wish you all the very best for your last week of rads girls. Celebrate i'll be having a drink for you. Acupuncture sorted my fatigue out and they even gave me needles and showed me what to do twice a week to ease it should it return. Love to you all xxxxx

[mael]

Ladies, I am going to sound ridicolous but there's the two things that push me up: Aspirin and roast chicken. They both give me a curious sense of peace and warm fuzziness. Just had the chicken, now rummaging till I get to an aspirin 🙂

[Jill1998]

Yes,Mael I am thinking I need time to process all that has gone on and feel more in the real world before I can deal with other peoples crap.Not sure I can get away with a hat at work though!!!Sheena I will try that shampoo,gonna cost me a fortune this going bald lark!!

[mael]

Sheena that's nice! x I am a *sigh* good customer of Apple, a pity you guys are so far away!

bad friends good friends, hey, no worries dear xxx

[mael]

Absolutely Jill -- statistics are only an educate guess. Unlike most things, probabilities don't make sense in hindsight, when the statistical sample is 1. I shouldn't have got cancer in the first place according to those.

For the hair, a nice hat maybe? I love hats!

And a nice script for a few weeks more off work. I can bear my job right now only because it has little to no emotional content: I go, I write my stuff, people come to me with their gripes but it's never heated, never heavy stuff. I just can't imagine the depth of philosophical realisation you're going to need to stay grounded in front of other people tragedies or -- maybe even worse -- petty problems. You will do it no problemo but you do need to take your time.